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1
00:00:06,369 --> 00:00:09,970
He ran off and took our old winch again.
2
00:00:11,790 --> 00:00:15,490
When I broke down, the house was burned
in bare.
3
00:00:17,210 --> 00:00:20,810
He took our old winch back to Osaki.
4
00:00:22,530 --> 00:00:26,190
Some days it seems that life, it just
ain't fair.
5
00:00:28,170 --> 00:00:29,170
My turn.
6
00:00:29,370 --> 00:00:31,090
Hang on. Let me grab that thing.
7
00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:40,780
Hazekia and Jebediah are going to be
bringing outside pressure.
8
00:00:41,420 --> 00:00:45,460
Malachi and Nebuchadnezzar are playing
the cover, too. And Matthew, Mark, Luke,
9
00:00:45,540 --> 00:00:47,180
and John are stacked up in the box.
10
00:00:47,740 --> 00:00:50,040
Naturally, we're going to go with the
triple option.
11
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,880
Granny, I'm the one here.
12
00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:56,000
Fine, just get the ball and run
somewhere. That'll work.
13
00:00:56,300 --> 00:01:00,660
Is Daddy here yet? No, baby, he couldn't
make it. But he sent a text.
14
00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:06,120
saying, tell Rusty I ain't thinking
about him and I'm about to make sexuals
15
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,020
whole and rotten gourd.
16
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:11,720
Now, let's do this thing.
17
00:01:12,660 --> 00:01:14,020
One potato, two potatoes, three
potatoes.
18
00:01:14,980 --> 00:01:17,500
Throw it long.
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00:01:19,220 --> 00:01:21,780
Now go long. That means you gotta catch
it.
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00:01:21,980 --> 00:01:22,980
Throw it.
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00:01:37,339 --> 00:01:39,540
Touchdown. Yay, we win.
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00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,380
You probably could have just run the
clock out, too.
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00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,700
Tell me how my ass tastes.
24
00:01:46,020 --> 00:01:49,180
Oh, thanks for going easy on us, coach.
25
00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:50,158
Come on, kids.
26
00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:53,700
Don't spend all day thanking our lord
and savior for frigging field goals.
27
00:02:03,610 --> 00:02:07,330
Another frozen rose. Now, just what in
the hell are y 'all doing? Oh, hey,
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00:02:07,430 --> 00:02:11,470
Early. Well, we're just making a
recruitment tape for college coaches.
29
00:02:12,030 --> 00:02:16,390
No, no. Hell no. He's gonna stay right
here and tend that field that I'm gonna
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00:02:16,390 --> 00:02:20,810
one day plant some mass in. It's on my
schedule. See here? Two to three. Rotten
31
00:02:20,810 --> 00:02:23,070
gourd relations. Hey, that's my personal
time there.
32
00:02:23,550 --> 00:02:27,990
Well, you know, Early, sometimes them
football boosters will provide your
33
00:02:27,990 --> 00:02:31,830
with a car or even house if you keep
nice and quiet about it.
34
00:02:32,090 --> 00:02:33,090
They're going to do what now?
35
00:02:33,790 --> 00:02:34,790
He run.
36
00:02:35,370 --> 00:02:36,370
He throw.
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He catch.
38
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And he got him a secret weapon.
39
00:02:40,990 --> 00:02:41,990
Corner blitz. Go.
40
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:43,810
Please, I don't want to blitz.
41
00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:46,090
Now go for two.
42
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Please don't go for two. No. Two point
diversion.
43
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:53,410
Can't no man tackle him in the open
field. That's why I use the wheat
44
00:02:53,410 --> 00:02:54,309
No, daddy, no.
45
00:02:54,310 --> 00:02:55,249
Get that thing off.
46
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:56,950
Can he outrun a bullet?
47
00:02:59,270 --> 00:03:00,270
Regrettably, no.
48
00:03:00,550 --> 00:03:01,590
Tape his ass up.
49
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,620
You want to wind up in the BCS, you come
on down to the collar place.
50
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:05,960
Talk some turkey.
51
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,380
All right, close with the star wipe.
52
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:09,960
The star wipe.
53
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,820
Come on, damn it, do it. You make me
look like a damn fool.
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00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:18,800
Yes, Rusty, that's your recruitment tape
on the world's largest HD screen.
55
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,360
Hey, man, does that thing always kind
of, like, rest on the field like that?
56
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:26,120
Yeah.
57
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,320
Picture it, a sunny Saturday in the
fall.
58
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:33,100
80 ,000 fans shrieking your name in
unison.
59
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:40,360
Rusty. Rusty. Go Rusty! Well, no one's
going to be shouting his name if he's
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00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:41,360
riding the pine.
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00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:48,060
I mean, you ain't gonna redshirt him or
anything foolish like that, are you? Who
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00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:51,440
plays and when is really the coach's
decision.
63
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:56,180
I stay out of it. Looks like you're the
one making all the big decisions.
64
00:03:56,440 --> 00:04:01,460
Oh, sure, I'm occasionally in the
huddle, but I let my coach take the
65
00:04:01,460 --> 00:04:02,359
of the heat.
66
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:06,100
What do you say, Coach Lackey? Can you
tell them what I want to hear?
67
00:04:07,020 --> 00:04:08,500
This kid's got the stuff.
68
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,900
He's a wonderful recruiter. What about
academics?
69
00:04:12,580 --> 00:04:13,580
Academic?
70
00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:16,380
Oh, yeah, yes, we have those.
71
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:23,260
This kid's got the stuff. I mean, what
kind of classes would I be taking and
72
00:04:23,260 --> 00:04:27,580
everything? We have an honors -level
seminar entitled Please Don't Beat Your
73
00:04:27,580 --> 00:04:32,780
Girlfriend Up in Public, and every
athlete goes through an orientation, how
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00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:36,640
tell if it's food. It's all just part of
our nebulous...
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00:04:37,330 --> 00:04:38,330
communications degree.
76
00:04:38,370 --> 00:04:43,530
Hey, Rusty, check this out. I'm going to
do this after I score a touchdown next
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00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:44,530
week, baby.
78
00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:52,950
Shocking the world. What are you doing
playing college ball? I love Sheetrock
79
00:04:53,150 --> 00:04:55,550
I've been here nine years catching this
pig skin, baby.
80
00:04:56,650 --> 00:05:00,210
Are you like a pro or something? What he
chooses to do with his Saturdays is
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00:05:00,210 --> 00:05:04,950
none of your or the NCAA's business. You
got an explosive collar on me, man. How
82
00:05:04,950 --> 00:05:08,570
am I supposed to operate like this?
Whoa, wait. I thought we agreed that
83
00:05:08,570 --> 00:05:12,430
was bling. This mother ticks and blinks
all day. We didn't agree to anything.
84
00:05:12,690 --> 00:05:13,950
I wrote the book. I do it.
85
00:05:18,590 --> 00:05:22,790
Let's just move on to the cheers. She
rock, she rock, she rock you. She rock
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00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:23,790
you.
87
00:05:24,030 --> 00:05:25,650
Now take him to the slut dungeon.
88
00:05:27,530 --> 00:05:32,670
Now I gotta say, I was really impressed
with Sheetrock Youth. Yeah, I think
89
00:05:32,670 --> 00:05:35,530
that's about the best place to mold you
and shape you into a real man.
90
00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:37,530
You know, that place what give me the
hummers.
91
00:05:38,010 --> 00:05:41,260
Hey, Rusty, uh... I don't want to put
any pressure on you or anything, but
92
00:05:41,260 --> 00:05:45,300
before you make a decision, you really
should consider all your options. Yeah,
93
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:48,980
there could be somebody out there that
could provide us with two or even the
94
00:05:48,980 --> 00:05:52,680
number that come after two of
Hummerzines. On account of I give you
95
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,920
athlete jeans from sacking up your mama
when she's dropping them eggs.
96
00:05:56,320 --> 00:06:00,060
Well, Rusty, I got a fella traveling all
the way up from Florida to tell you
97
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,060
where he's at.
98
00:06:01,180 --> 00:06:02,180
Tom?
99
00:06:03,970 --> 00:06:08,610
Tom Trebo? Tom Trebo? That's right, Tom
Trebo. Helmsman Trophy winner and
100
00:06:08,610 --> 00:06:11,930
starting quarterback from the National
Champion Crocodiles of the University of
101
00:06:11,930 --> 00:06:14,190
the Peninsular State just below the
state of Georgia?
102
00:06:14,570 --> 00:06:19,010
Hey, Rusty, you know, someone has to
fill my shoes next year with the
103
00:06:19,010 --> 00:06:21,830
of the University of the Peninsular
State just below Georgia.
104
00:06:22,110 --> 00:06:23,390
Are you that someone?
105
00:06:23,610 --> 00:06:27,070
Who, me? That sounds good. Y 'all got a
slut dungeon. Ah, you're so damn
106
00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:29,590
handsome. Wait, wait, I can't be feeling
this.
107
00:06:30,030 --> 00:06:33,750
Get the hell off my land unless you're
here to administrate food and medical
108
00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:37,790
services like you do in them third world
countries in the off season.
109
00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:40,450
Oh, can I get the free circumcision?
110
00:06:41,050 --> 00:06:43,490
Hey, you're going to need more than that
if that thing's a penis.
111
00:06:44,210 --> 00:06:47,790
Well, it's longer than it should be,
I'll say that.
112
00:06:48,730 --> 00:06:50,450
Hey, man, let's take a walk.
113
00:06:51,450 --> 00:06:53,650
Rusty, what does my eye black say?
114
00:06:53,870 --> 00:06:59,190
I am humble before he, but I am also
number one in all statistical
115
00:06:59,790 --> 00:07:02,370
Number one, number one. Woo, woo.
116
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:06,050
Oh, uh, continued on wristband.
117
00:07:06,570 --> 00:07:09,410
Woo. That's from Corinthians, probably.
118
00:07:10,150 --> 00:07:11,470
The leather company, right?
119
00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:13,330
I'm pretty sure.
120
00:07:13,470 --> 00:07:17,850
I guess. Rusty, when I call an audible,
where do you think I get it? Well,
121
00:07:17,850 --> 00:07:21,330
probably that two -way radio in your
helmet. Yeah, sure, that.
122
00:07:22,010 --> 00:07:23,890
But also, where else?
123
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,029
I don't know.
124
00:07:25,030 --> 00:07:25,889
Outer space?
125
00:07:25,890 --> 00:07:28,310
No, well, actually, yeah, you could say
space.
126
00:07:28,810 --> 00:07:32,490
But more specifically, our Lord and
Savior Jesus Christ.
127
00:07:34,990 --> 00:07:39,650
Would you like to meet him? Yeah, sure.
All right. Okay. Go ahead. Say hello.
128
00:07:40,230 --> 00:07:41,750
He's here with us right now.
129
00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:46,050
What do you mean, like, metaphorically?
Like he's here all the time? Well, yeah.
130
00:07:46,470 --> 00:07:49,230
But he's also sitting right there.
131
00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:52,090
See? I'm braiding his hair.
132
00:07:52,290 --> 00:07:53,890
I can't really see him.
133
00:07:54,170 --> 00:07:56,430
He must have his cloaking powers on.
134
00:07:57,250 --> 00:07:58,810
Just like the predator.
135
00:07:59,630 --> 00:08:04,070
Rusty, Tom's just had a lot of
concussions in the past week. Jesus,
136
00:08:04,130 --> 00:08:08,610
He has a laser! He's still cleared to
play. You... Yeah, I have had that.
137
00:08:09,370 --> 00:08:13,290
What is this number on my chest? Can
everybody see this? Tom, won't you take
138
00:08:13,290 --> 00:08:14,290
knee now, buddy?
139
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:18,870
Rusty, what Tom's trying to say, I
think, is that Jesus has a game plan for
140
00:08:18,870 --> 00:08:21,930
of us, and I think he just called to
play for you.
141
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:26,700
to sign up with the University of the
Peninsula State just below Georgia. And
142
00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:27,900
Jesus lives in space.
143
00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:31,440
Well,
144
00:08:34,419 --> 00:08:38,400
I really enjoyed meeting you, and I
endured the things we did.
145
00:08:38,740 --> 00:08:43,380
I really was hoping to talk to your
grandson about the great opportunities
146
00:08:43,380 --> 00:08:47,720
have down here at Alabama Tech. To be
honest, I think he's pretty well
147
00:08:49,020 --> 00:08:50,720
You didn't say that when we started.
148
00:08:51,660 --> 00:08:55,180
Why'd you make me do those things back
there? You had your fun.
149
00:08:55,420 --> 00:08:59,120
Now send in that fella from the semen
holes on your way out. It's pronounced
150
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,400
Seminoles. I know exactly what I said.
151
00:09:02,940 --> 00:09:03,940
Who was that?
152
00:09:04,140 --> 00:09:08,900
Nobody. But if that fella recruits like
he bangs, he ain't gonna have no kind of
153
00:09:08,900 --> 00:09:09,900
team this fall.
154
00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:14,720
Well, you must be Rusty's grandma.
155
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:15,819
That's right.
156
00:09:15,820 --> 00:09:18,580
And let's hope you're from the Big Ten.
157
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,280
Mountain West, actually. Mountain West.
158
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:23,240
Mountain Rear?
159
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,020
Oh, yeah, great.
160
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,960
One of these deals, is it?
161
00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:31,980
All right, let me just mentally prepare
for this. What the hell are you doing,
162
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,880
boy? You keep the rings on.
163
00:09:35,380 --> 00:09:36,500
You're going deep.
164
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:43,400
My son Rusty is the first one in the
college family that was stupid enough to
165
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:44,700
brainwashed into college.
166
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:49,100
And as his father, I truly hope he makes
the best decision for me.
167
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:52,680
That needs to be good for him, too.
Thank you.
168
00:09:55,540 --> 00:10:00,240
Look into your heart, Rusty. Do what you
feel is right. Rusty, look at this rim.
169
00:10:00,420 --> 00:10:05,380
On a necklace. Remember, Jesus is all
around you. But also, so is the
170
00:10:05,620 --> 00:10:06,960
That's some bling you.
171
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:08,520
Damn.
172
00:10:08,980 --> 00:10:13,520
I have to say, this has been a very
difficult decision for me. But at the
173
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:14,319
the day...
174
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:16,200
I gotta go with what my gut tells me.
175
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:23,620
So I've decided to sign with... The
Barber
176
00:10:23,620 --> 00:10:25,800
Lawn Fashion College. Woo! You what?
177
00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:29,200
This kid's got the stuff. You've run
this program into the ground.
178
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,720
You mean you ain't gonna play ball no
more?
179
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,860
Son, you done told me you been out back
getting fierce as hell with them
180
00:10:36,860 --> 00:10:41,060
tackling dummies. Well, I was getting
fierce. See? Check it out. My fabrics,
181
00:10:41,060 --> 00:10:44,660
patterns. Hell, you can't coach that.
I... I am a machine, y 'all. A sewing
182
00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:45,660
machine!
15642
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