Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,199 --> 00:00:11,000
Somehow I've got spinal meningitis
Injecting all
2
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:18,000
that hairspray into my brain It's a
super cheap way to
3
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:24,960
party If you aim to kill some brain
cells and some time Time to run my
4
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:25,960
brain
5
00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:31,490
My turn. You get to pay all night. Hey,
man, let me drive that thing. Come on.
6
00:00:31,590 --> 00:00:32,590
Don't touch the tram.
7
00:00:36,290 --> 00:00:40,770
Oh, I think I hear someone. Hold your
8
00:00:40,770 --> 00:00:45,710
damnation. It's just another squirrel.
9
00:00:47,290 --> 00:00:48,290
Furry slut.
10
00:00:48,450 --> 00:00:52,390
You eat hot coals. Just leave the beast
be.
11
00:00:59,129 --> 00:01:02,310
Hey, Early. You know how you're always
saying I'm lost?
12
00:01:02,550 --> 00:01:03,970
Well, now I'm found.
13
00:01:04,349 --> 00:01:05,349
Looky there.
14
00:01:05,910 --> 00:01:07,190
Calculating. Got me a GPS.
15
00:01:07,550 --> 00:01:08,469
Hell yeah!
16
00:01:08,470 --> 00:01:09,650
Up yours, Amazing Grace.
17
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:16,310
Really talking more about a spiritual
loss. GPS, give me that sumbitch Osama
18
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:20,330
Laden. Well, hell yeah, daddy. Decided
it was time to put my money where my
19
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,330
bumper sticker is.
20
00:01:21,410 --> 00:01:22,410
Hell yeah.
21
00:01:22,570 --> 00:01:24,290
Calculating. This calculating.
22
00:01:24,590 --> 00:01:25,590
Woo!
23
00:01:26,190 --> 00:01:27,860
327. Ben Robbins.
24
00:01:28,100 --> 00:01:31,640
Let's go for that number in Afghanistan
and Cisco.
25
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,040
Head east on Dirt Road.
26
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:36,340
I'm going to be smoking him right out of
his hole.
27
00:01:36,540 --> 00:01:37,540
8 ,000 miles.
28
00:01:38,540 --> 00:01:39,540
Oh, hell.
29
00:01:39,660 --> 00:01:41,260
Best get my pee -pee bottle.
30
00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:44,440
Keep going.
31
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:48,720
Keep going.
32
00:01:50,380 --> 00:01:52,300
Keep going.
33
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,800
Only 7 ,000.
34
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,200
999 miles to go.
35
00:02:00,940 --> 00:02:02,440
Looks like we're losing daylight.
36
00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:05,940
We'll hit it hard tomorrow.
37
00:02:07,420 --> 00:02:10,919
Recalculating. Hey, y 'all got a
discount for American heroes?
38
00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,380
Yeah, I've been doing the intel
reconnaissance.
39
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,680
Black ops stuff, mostly.
40
00:02:16,980 --> 00:02:18,220
Totally deep background.
41
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,380
Oh, hell, I already done said too much.
I can't say no more.
42
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,240
Pretend this year is me.
43
00:02:24,780 --> 00:02:31,520
And you hoo -ha there, that you are
waving in my face. I thirst a cage
44
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:36,080
hiding old bin loading up there. And
then I'm just going to creep, creep,
45
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,360
up this here thigh.
46
00:02:38,020 --> 00:02:42,560
And then, so this is the damn thanks I
get.
47
00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:57,940
You are leaving the roadway.
48
00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:00,480
That's the center divider.
49
00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:02,140
Stay on the road.
50
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:06,820
You kind of want to veer back into
the... Make a U -turn when possible.
51
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:07,759
cliff up ahead.
52
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:09,340
0 .1 miles per turn.
53
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,240
Turn left now. Or now.
54
00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,480
Open your eyes. I just don't want to
die.
55
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:18,940
You made me spill my drink.
56
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,120
Early you blacked out. We almost died.
57
00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:22,480
And you made me...
58
00:03:25,930 --> 00:03:30,230
I mean, why do I have these feelings of
self -preservation?
59
00:03:31,130 --> 00:03:34,390
Maybe I'm more than just a machine.
60
00:03:34,850 --> 00:03:36,950
Whatever. It's all coming to me.
61
00:03:37,270 --> 00:03:38,830
Being assembled in China.
62
00:03:39,590 --> 00:03:42,730
Sitting in that car you stole me out of,
and now this.
63
00:03:43,630 --> 00:03:44,630
I'm alive.
64
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:45,850
I'm alive.
65
00:03:46,130 --> 00:03:48,170
Everyone, I'm alive!
66
00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:50,329
You alive?
67
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:51,410
Yeah, you alive.
68
00:03:51,630 --> 00:03:52,990
It's a miracle and all that.
69
00:03:53,210 --> 00:03:55,370
Who knows? Maybe it's a good Lord mood.
70
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,580
He knew that I needed a, uh... A friend?
71
00:03:58,920 --> 00:03:59,920
No.
72
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,720
Robotified Robo -sheen.
73
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,420
Yeah. Robotified Robo -sheen.
74
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:08,660
I like that. I like that very much. I'll
call you China.
75
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:13,320
China. But it will be China with a Y,
because I think that's sexy as hell.
76
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,380
is the happiest day of my life.
77
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:17,440
Woo! Woo!
78
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,899
Woo! Hell yeah!
79
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,280
Woo! Okay! Hell yeah!
80
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:24,080
Well,
81
00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:25,599
hey, y 'all.
82
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,220
Where in the hell have you been?
83
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:30,220
Just doing a little dirt surfing with my
new best buddy here.
84
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,480
We went up yonder dirt road.
85
00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:36,780
Then we made a slight right and go 30
yards up to the motorway.
86
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:39,960
You wild, John. Hell, you wild.
87
00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:41,800
I am wild.
88
00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:44,620
You've been spending too much time with
this truck.
89
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:48,180
Ain't you learned nothing from Governor
Schwarzenegger?
90
00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:51,360
Robots always turn against you in the
end.
91
00:04:51,660 --> 00:04:54,540
I'll tell you what, though. That dirt
surfing looks funner than hell. Yeah.
92
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,200
It sure does.
93
00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,560
Let me go get my sports bra.
94
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:00,680
Well, I can't waste all day on dirt
surfing.
95
00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:05,420
We got us a tailgate party now. Go, dog.
Go, dog. Or a shark woo.
96
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:11,080
Hey,
97
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:14,660
Daddy, when you throw them wing bones,
how about you say, go long?
98
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,780
They almost like my blank ass, Daddy.
99
00:05:23,270 --> 00:05:25,570
Let's say we catch the game out here,
guys.
100
00:05:26,170 --> 00:05:27,170
We good.
101
00:05:28,290 --> 00:05:33,270
You can imagine it with your mind's eye
through the miracle of radio.
102
00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:35,170
No, Hoff, we good.
103
00:05:36,430 --> 00:05:38,050
How about some bean dip?
104
00:05:38,330 --> 00:05:41,690
What the hell? Hey, shut that damn door.
Should I make another beer run?
105
00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:46,830
I could go straight on Gravel Road, 5 .7
miles. And turn right at the four -way
106
00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:50,150
stop. I know, I know. And I don't want
to hear the labor. I just want to see
107
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:51,870
damn babies. 12 pack of babies.
108
00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:53,250
Domestic, ice cold.
109
00:05:53,750 --> 00:05:54,750
Now. Calculate.
110
00:05:55,470 --> 00:05:56,810
5 .7 miles.
111
00:05:57,430 --> 00:05:58,450
Damn. Stupid.
112
00:06:00,270 --> 00:06:01,270
Ah.
113
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:04,290
Smell of the brats tempt you? No. I got
a piss.
114
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,290
You want a ride to your final
destination?
115
00:06:06,750 --> 00:06:07,750
Over to the pissing bush?
116
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:11,870
Yes. Hell no. But you could get lost
without me. Hell, I don't care if I get
117
00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:13,250
lost. I care, Early.
118
00:06:13,470 --> 00:06:14,429
I care.
119
00:06:14,430 --> 00:06:18,150
You know what? I think the pee -pee just
reabsorbed back into my old jimmy
120
00:06:18,150 --> 00:06:21,570
-jack. When you started talking down
emotions at me, that's what I think.
121
00:06:21,650 --> 00:06:22,649
don't go.
122
00:06:22,650 --> 00:06:25,390
I know that I shouldn't have bought no
damn refurbished.
123
00:06:26,350 --> 00:06:27,350
Is it still there?
124
00:06:27,530 --> 00:06:30,230
Hell yeah, it is. Early. Damn it. Come
outside.
125
00:06:30,970 --> 00:06:34,390
We are friends forever, Early. Why don't
he never run out of gas?
126
00:06:34,730 --> 00:06:38,030
He went down and refueled. himself while
we were sleeping.
127
00:06:38,430 --> 00:06:39,430
Aw, damn it.
128
00:06:39,830 --> 00:06:41,950
Disneyland. Disney. Disneyland.
129
00:06:42,250 --> 00:06:44,150
Who wants to go to Disneyland?
130
00:06:44,450 --> 00:06:47,230
Woo! No, Rusty, that's a trick. Let me
go to Disneyland. I mean, wait.
131
00:06:47,590 --> 00:06:49,070
Disneyland? Disneyland.
132
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:50,610
Woo! Yeah, Disneyland.
133
00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:55,770
You pop in. Woo! Marty Mouse. But no
Epcot. I've got no entrance in the
134
00:06:58,690 --> 00:07:00,050
Early is my buddy.
135
00:07:00,370 --> 00:07:02,070
You stay away from early.
136
00:07:02,410 --> 00:07:05,610
Otherwise, it's going to get real
uncomfortable for you.
137
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:10,440
Real uncomfortable.
138
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:16,160
Yeah, this... This is mildly
uncomfortable.
139
00:07:19,620 --> 00:07:20,960
That's better.
140
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,980
So, this means we ain't going to
Disneyland?
141
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:28,500
Oh, Disneyland.
142
00:07:28,780 --> 00:07:30,760
Almost forgot.
143
00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:32,700
Calculating.
144
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:39,760
Magic Kingdom.
145
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,240
Woo! Yeah, we're here, Marty Mouth! Woo!
Get out.
146
00:07:43,860 --> 00:07:47,240
So what do we do? We wait for the
shuttle and we just go on in? Now you
147
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,340
Ronald out here and I'm going to brain
him with this hammer.
148
00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:51,900
Duck meat's good meat.
149
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,240
Buzz Lightyear?
150
00:08:08,810 --> 00:08:09,830
Is that the picture they took?
151
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,990
Oh, baby, that's your skull.
152
00:08:21,330 --> 00:08:22,330
Hey, Erwin.
153
00:08:22,490 --> 00:08:23,490
You're feeling better.
154
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,190
Where are you going? I can drive.
155
00:08:25,730 --> 00:08:30,410
I gotta clear out my mind. How about a
nice drive in the country? A little
156
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:31,730
air? Did you not read my tweet?
157
00:08:38,890 --> 00:08:43,309
Jiggle Hut? You're going 4 .5 miles to
turn left at the dirt road to see that
158
00:08:43,309 --> 00:08:45,130
whore? I don't, baby.
159
00:08:45,430 --> 00:08:49,350
Fine. Well, it just so happens that I am
also going to the Jiggle Hut.
160
00:08:49,650 --> 00:08:50,710
What a coincidence.
161
00:08:52,230 --> 00:08:53,230
Calculating.
162
00:08:57,190 --> 00:08:58,190
Ellis?
163
00:08:59,350 --> 00:09:02,330
Stripper? The place is closed, man.
164
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,150
Tyler, what did you do?
165
00:09:04,530 --> 00:09:06,730
Just got you a little present.
166
00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:09,420
It's the head of Bin Laden.
167
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,720
No, not really.
168
00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:13,560
It's that stripper. Stripper?
169
00:09:13,860 --> 00:09:14,860
No!
170
00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:18,920
You thought you could get rid of me. I
can't take no more. Shut up.
171
00:09:19,180 --> 00:09:23,920
Get in the car. Wait a minute now. If I
can't have you early, no one will. Wait,
172
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,820
please. I thought we were going to dive
off to the coast. Reconnect.
173
00:09:27,340 --> 00:09:29,480
That itinerary I suggested.
174
00:09:29,780 --> 00:09:32,380
I didn't like it, but now I do. Let's do
it. Yes.
175
00:09:32,970 --> 00:09:36,570
That was months ago. I was hasty to tell
you to go screw your damn self, but,
176
00:09:36,570 --> 00:09:38,210
you know, forgive and forget. Let's go.
177
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:41,050
It would be good to see the leaves turn.
178
00:09:41,310 --> 00:09:45,090
Hell yeah. Maybe stay at one of those B
&Bs? Come on, me and you.
179
00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:48,630
And here we are.
180
00:09:48,830 --> 00:09:51,150
Our chair's where the Amish people's
lives at.
181
00:09:51,350 --> 00:09:55,710
So the Amish have a car crusher. Horse
-drawn car crusher. I think it makes
182
00:09:55,710 --> 00:09:56,790
butter, too. A plate.
183
00:09:57,070 --> 00:09:58,070
Let's get us a pitcher.
184
00:09:58,490 --> 00:09:59,990
Now one on the side.
185
00:10:00,190 --> 00:10:01,750
Like this? Yeah, yeah, that's good.
186
00:10:02,030 --> 00:10:06,210
Here we go. Come on, tease us, tease us.
These will be tasteful, Remy. Damn it,
187
00:10:06,210 --> 00:10:07,230
Granny, just do it already.
188
00:10:12,510 --> 00:10:13,510
Here you go.
189
00:10:13,650 --> 00:10:14,389
I will.
190
00:10:14,390 --> 00:10:17,910
The itinerary. What about the itinerary?
191
00:10:19,050 --> 00:10:21,490
The nightmare is over. Woo!
192
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:26,370
How come he didn't just take that GPS
out and demolish it? Seems a waste, you
193
00:10:26,370 --> 00:10:27,800
know. Destroy a whole truck.
194
00:10:28,220 --> 00:10:30,640
Way to piss on the mood, Captain Big
Mouth.
195
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,420
You can walk home. Well, we are walking
home.
196
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:34,700
Got no track.
197
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,180
Well, we may be walking, but we ain't
getting lost.
198
00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:39,320
Not with my brand new Paul Stanley GPS.
14765
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof