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1
00:00:05,089 --> 00:00:08,930
He ran off and took our only chicken.
2
00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:14,150
When I broke jail, the house was burnt
and spared.
3
00:00:15,810 --> 00:00:19,770
The Japs moved the plant back to Oaxaca.
4
00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:24,800
Some days life just don't seem that
fair.
5
00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:30,620
I don't even care. I'm telling you, I
just don't give a damn. Hey, man, let me
6
00:00:30,620 --> 00:00:32,580
drive that thing. Come on. Cut the trim.
7
00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:39,260
All right, listen up now. The sack race
is about to commence.
8
00:00:39,820 --> 00:00:43,320
On my mark. Can I dump out these rocks?
No, no, son. That's ballast weights.
9
00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:44,820
Momentum stone.
10
00:00:44,940 --> 00:00:49,340
On my mark. Why ain't you got no sack,
Daddy? Boy, I do without so you can have
11
00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:50,700
the things that I can't have.
12
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,560
Yeah, by me. You save your breath with a
race.
13
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,540
But I can't breathe.
14
00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:57,280
Well, that's to decrease the wind
resistance.
15
00:00:57,660 --> 00:01:00,440
Hell, ain't you never learn nothing from
watching American Chopper? Something
16
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:05,140
crawled on my face. Oh, yeah, them's the
Motivatical Scorpions. Yeah, I'll put
17
00:01:05,140 --> 00:01:08,980
in a couple for you. They're going to
fastetize you. Jesus is going to guide
18
00:01:08,980 --> 00:01:09,980
to victory anyway.
19
00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:12,320
No help from Jesus. That's cheating.
20
00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:13,560
All right.
21
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:17,160
Ready? Say it. Will you, Jesus, give me
boots for putting rockets like a... No
22
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,160
help from Jesus.
23
00:01:18,460 --> 00:01:19,460
Let's go.
24
00:01:26,140 --> 00:01:27,780
Woo! Hell yeah!
25
00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:29,980
That was a thinking man's victory there.
26
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:31,920
Dirt burgers are ready.
27
00:01:32,180 --> 00:01:35,840
Come on, get them. The way I left you in
the dust. You like that? Damn, it's
28
00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:37,220
like y 'all weren't even racing me.
29
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,000
Where are they? It's family style.
30
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:43,280
Just scoop your hands together and help
yourself.
31
00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:45,440
Is that a win?
32
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:49,280
You ain't got no dirt right there. It's
over there by the dirt balloons and the
33
00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:49,958
dirt pony.
34
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,260
Dirt pony? Dirt pony? Woo!
35
00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,400
This is better than last year. Are we
done now? Can I go home?
36
00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:57,160
It was nice seeing y 'all. See you in a
few years.
37
00:01:57,700 --> 00:01:59,680
Inside, later tonight.
38
00:02:05,300 --> 00:02:10,639
Well, we made pretty good time. Just
under four hours, I guess. Is that them?
39
00:02:11,020 --> 00:02:12,620
Come on, Dusty, get on, Dusty, go!
40
00:02:13,420 --> 00:02:14,740
I love you, Dusty.
41
00:02:16,420 --> 00:02:19,760
Yeah. Parker, Posey, have a squirt of
anti -vex cereal.
42
00:02:20,300 --> 00:02:21,600
All over your body. Why? Everywhere.
43
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,140
Why do you have to be like that? Your
daddy's home is very dirty. Honey,
44
00:02:24,140 --> 00:02:28,180
programming them with fear. Well, look
at them. They are literally eating dirt.
45
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:32,600
Fiona, this is my family. You were smart
enough to get your GED and get the hell
46
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:36,020
out. You don't have to prove a thing to
these people. We do every holiday with
47
00:02:36,020 --> 00:02:37,480
your family. Those trips are fun.
48
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,720
Am I funny? loves you. Yeah.
49
00:02:39,940 --> 00:02:42,620
Need a hand? No, I see you've got
plenty.
50
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:46,860
Oh, and your mom always checking where I
sat for ink. Always. You have to catch
51
00:02:46,860 --> 00:02:49,940
it before the stain sets. It was one
time. One time, Fiona.
52
00:02:50,180 --> 00:02:51,360
It's a defense mechanism.
53
00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:54,320
Daddy wasn't hunting you. He was
offering you mashed potatoes.
54
00:02:54,620 --> 00:02:56,280
Look. Can we just not fight?
55
00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:57,339
We're here.
56
00:02:57,340 --> 00:02:58,340
We're in nature.
57
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:00,600
Look, kids. A squirrel.
58
00:03:00,820 --> 00:03:02,880
I told you they were real. You see it?
59
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:04,520
Kid?
60
00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:08,070
Damn you're about to enjoy nature.
61
00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:10,410
Chalky wagon at 12 o 'clock.
62
00:03:10,630 --> 00:03:13,270
I've been smelling mayo for 15 minutes.
63
00:03:13,870 --> 00:03:16,790
Damn meringues. They probably want a
picnic table.
64
00:03:16,990 --> 00:03:20,870
Hell, they probably reserved it with a
creamy white sign -up sheet. Damn
65
00:03:20,870 --> 00:03:24,450
I guess we best whip up some whippy
cream. Whip, whip, whippy cream.
66
00:03:24,930 --> 00:03:26,930
The chalky scourge is a ponkstess. Yeah.
67
00:03:28,390 --> 00:03:29,650
We're about to look into this.
68
00:03:30,390 --> 00:03:31,390
They're coming.
69
00:03:31,430 --> 00:03:34,710
Kids, your relatives are coming.
Remember what I said about good touch,
70
00:03:34,710 --> 00:03:35,710
touch. Fiona.
71
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:43,440
Be very scared, kids. Well, now, look
who come down from the city with a big
72
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:49,440
booze. He's kidding. Come on, let's get
some hugs here. I have missed you.
73
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:50,800
You haven't missed?
74
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:52,320
Hmm, yeah.
75
00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:53,960
Wasn't invited to the wedding.
76
00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:56,260
I get it. It's a numbers game.
77
00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:00,180
Come on, we're family. Give me some
sugar. Come on. Honey, he's just kidding
78
00:04:00,180 --> 00:04:02,820
with you. He jokes in a confrontational
manner.
79
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:07,500
Yeah. I do use humor from time to time
to mask my true desires about putting
80
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:08,500
wood to your wife.
81
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:12,800
I'm going to curl them toes in time,
little gal. I'm going to curl them toes
82
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:17,440
time. Do you want to see some little
mixed nuts back there in the back of
83
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:22,180
car? Come on out here, high breeze, and
give your granny a little hug.
84
00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:26,980
No, no. That was a figured speech, you
little pistachios. Granny. What?
85
00:04:28,420 --> 00:04:30,300
That's funny as hell, what you just
said.
86
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,160
Pistachios. with a wasabi granny scam.
87
00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:35,840
You're younger than just pistachios.
88
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:41,380
I see you're going for my wallet, you
lazy pistachio. That's enough. Some of
89
00:04:41,380 --> 00:04:43,680
work hard for what we have. Please,
Granny.
90
00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:47,140
Not like you and your chucky mama. Hey,
that's enough. What?
91
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,880
The kids have enough trouble at school
without having to hear it from family.
92
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,520
I'm sorry, Durwood.
93
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:57,320
I just said out loud what I'm going to
say again when you leave.
94
00:04:58,380 --> 00:05:01,240
Granny, now Fiona made some potato
salad.
95
00:05:01,740 --> 00:05:05,360
Where, um, where do you want to put it?
How about up that yogurt -loving chalk
96
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:09,300
hole you call your ass? Granny. I'm
sorry, but once you go white, you ain't
97
00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:12,680
right. That's it. Kids, get in the car.
Honey, please let me... Hey, let me get
98
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,160
in that car, too. I'm getting in the
car. Hey, Daddy, look at me. I'm inside
99
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,260
car. I'll see you, son.
100
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:20,540
I am in this car. You hit the big time.
Hey, man, where this cold breeze coming
101
00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:22,460
from? Is that wintertime coming out
there?
102
00:05:23,020 --> 00:05:24,060
Refrigerate right there.
103
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:28,950
Paying for our... Well, they got you
coming and going, boy. You're probably
104
00:05:28,950 --> 00:05:29,950
paying for water, too.
105
00:05:30,210 --> 00:05:35,110
You must be working you one of them
worky jobs. Yeah, I've been an insurance
106
00:05:35,110 --> 00:05:36,610
adjuster for about 14 years.
107
00:05:37,010 --> 00:05:39,710
Nothing exciting, but it pays the bills.
108
00:05:40,150 --> 00:05:42,470
Hell, I wish I could pay my bills.
109
00:05:43,550 --> 00:05:46,370
Understand, I ain't looking for no
handouts.
110
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:50,410
And I will talk about me not having no
damn money for quite a while.
111
00:05:52,190 --> 00:05:53,950
There will be some silent moments.
112
00:05:54,540 --> 00:05:57,020
Whilst you ponder my monetatious
situations,
113
00:05:57,780 --> 00:06:04,760
I'll make it awkward. Well, I, you know,
we don't bring a lot
114
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,640
of cash on trips.
115
00:06:07,620 --> 00:06:14,560
We use, uh... Well, maybe, you know, I
could, uh... I
116
00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:17,220
could spot you a little something. No!
No money!
117
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:21,540
Uh -uh. Hey, now, don't listen to her.
Come on inside away from the bitch. I'll
118
00:06:21,540 --> 00:06:22,540
give you the tour.
119
00:06:23,180 --> 00:06:26,080
Here's that room I spoke of. Four walls.
120
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:27,500
This is our window.
121
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:28,800
And there's a roach.
122
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,640
And there's the roach's family, right
there, right there. A bird in his skin.
123
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:37,280
Can I take a cold and go through it? No,
that's okay.
124
00:06:37,780 --> 00:06:39,620
You don't recycle, do you?
125
00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:43,460
Motorcycle? Never mind. Motocross? I'll
just keep it. Place it in the old cargo
126
00:06:43,460 --> 00:06:45,460
shorts. All right, let's talk some
business here.
127
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:48,920
Everybody says, you know, you gotta have
money to make money, right?
128
00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:54,250
My issue is I ain't got no damn money.
I'm still paying off my college and butt
129
00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:59,030
cheeks. Yeah, those pharmaceutical
companies can really stick it to you. So
130
00:06:59,030 --> 00:07:00,270
them turpentine companies.
131
00:07:00,610 --> 00:07:01,950
$3 .99 for this?
132
00:07:03,430 --> 00:07:05,850
And now it's gone.
133
00:07:06,370 --> 00:07:09,310
This here is a legitimate business
expense for me.
134
00:07:09,950 --> 00:07:13,090
Oh, you started a business. Can I give
you the pitch?
135
00:07:13,630 --> 00:07:16,890
Now, that there is that unicorn from
that Cheyenne Cinnamon movie, what the
136
00:07:16,890 --> 00:07:19,710
Burger Lord been giving out. That's
worth upwards of $3.
137
00:07:20,110 --> 00:07:21,410
See, it ain't no game no more.
138
00:07:21,670 --> 00:07:24,370
I don't think I remember this movie.
Don't touch it.
139
00:07:24,730 --> 00:07:28,410
Fingerprints congratulate the valuation
of it. You put the whole operation in
140
00:07:28,410 --> 00:07:31,890
jeopardy. Dumbass. Is there a business
plan here? You bet.
141
00:07:32,170 --> 00:07:33,570
Plan to make a fortune.
142
00:07:33,930 --> 00:07:34,889
Back up.
143
00:07:34,890 --> 00:07:36,170
Let it appreciify.
144
00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:38,350
Wait. Watch.
145
00:07:38,590 --> 00:07:39,590
Listen.
146
00:07:40,110 --> 00:07:41,510
Coins. Monies.
147
00:07:48,810 --> 00:07:52,230
Okay. Rusty, you're pretty quiet. How's
school?
148
00:07:52,610 --> 00:07:54,850
Look out for my kitchen. I've been
trying to clean it.
149
00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:56,250
Oh, look.
150
00:07:56,590 --> 00:07:59,230
He's got a touch of the lockjaw again.
151
00:08:01,950 --> 00:08:07,350
God forbid the things this boy's going
to drag home when he's dating age. Did
152
00:08:07,350 --> 00:08:09,210
not get any immunization?
153
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:10,530
Immigration.
154
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:13,860
He's legal to this country. He's
American. No, no, no. Like medical
155
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,019
Oh. Medicine.
156
00:08:15,020 --> 00:08:16,980
Well, his grandmama handles the
medicines.
157
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,400
Bow our heads. You two do it.
158
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:26,160
Jesus, please place this boy in the
magic bubble free from Satan's germs and
159
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:28,720
copay -provoking sneezes. Amen.
160
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,580
Amen. Immunitation updated.
161
00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:33,880
Another well -baby visit complete.
162
00:08:34,299 --> 00:08:36,520
Ah. Well, our jaw is pretty serious.
163
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,900
People usually get it from running
around barefoot in animal feces.
164
00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:43,740
Oh, I'd love to shoe the boy, but I'm an
alcoholic.
165
00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:49,480
We did order one of them shoe trees from
the catalog.
166
00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:53,920
But we had that drought, you know, and
she bore no shoe fruit.
167
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:57,920
I bet we have an extra, what, six pairs
at the house.
168
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:02,180
Well, you got some shoes in the city
where you're from. Now, Durwood, you
169
00:09:02,180 --> 00:09:03,560
how I feel about handouts.
170
00:09:04,190 --> 00:09:07,070
Cash is much more flexible. For hell,
cash is king.
171
00:09:07,370 --> 00:09:11,690
Oh, yeah, I read the hat. Daddy, can I
show Uncle Derwood my art project?
172
00:09:11,970 --> 00:09:13,170
Must we do this?
173
00:09:13,490 --> 00:09:15,150
I made this for you, Uncle Derwood.
174
00:09:15,350 --> 00:09:19,190
Thank you, Rusty. I've had butt wipes
that had more concept and design.
175
00:09:20,530 --> 00:09:26,110
You do understand what I'm saying, Uncle
Derwood. I made this for you. Derwood
176
00:09:26,110 --> 00:09:29,030
don't want none of your gibbered babble
that wouldn't make that talky words.
177
00:09:29,430 --> 00:09:31,470
You know what? I have an idea.
178
00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:34,720
What if we took Rusty off your hands for
a couple days?
179
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:39,200
How long's a day? Give you a break. I'll
bet it's tough being a single dad up
180
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,760
here. No, no, it's easy.
181
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,740
It's time to the shoe tree till the race
is over. Well, maybe we could time to
182
00:09:44,740 --> 00:09:49,160
our tree in the city where we could feed
him and clothe him and educate him. And
183
00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:50,160
come back gay.
184
00:09:50,260 --> 00:09:51,440
Hell, I know that story.
185
00:09:51,700 --> 00:09:53,200
I'll tell you what. I'll give you $20.
186
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:57,700
Now, if you have any problems or need to
get a hold of us, here's our numbers.
187
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,040
Number. Number one.
188
00:10:00,620 --> 00:10:01,620
Bulldog!
189
00:10:08,850 --> 00:10:09,850
Hey,
190
00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:28,310
can I plug this into my ears? You know,
like I got, like a robot?
191
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,280
That, the garage drawer opener.
192
00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:35,400
We'll figure it out.
193
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:40,640
We can clean out the garage. We can put
a cot there. I'll talk to the principal.
194
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:41,940
We'll make this work.
195
00:10:42,660 --> 00:10:43,660
Right?
196
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:45,720
Honey?
197
00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:49,360
He has lockjaw, for Christ's sakes!
198
00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:55,650
Well, then we'll leave this alabaster
cousin and make some damn good tater
199
00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:59,090
salad. Boy, I sure hope I don't never
bring him back no more.
200
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:02,350
Well, then ain't the steak gonna stop
giving us that buddy check?
201
00:11:03,690 --> 00:11:05,430
Wait! Get on back here!
202
00:11:05,650 --> 00:11:06,650
Bring him back here!
203
00:11:06,890 --> 00:11:09,170
It's wrong the way they took you from
your daddy!
17263
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