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My oldest son was born in Alabama.
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My youngest is stubborn and hard.
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The middle one says he's homosexual.
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The other seven's gone. I don't know
where and I don't care.
5
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I just don't care.
6
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My turn.
7
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Hey, hold on. Hey, man, let me drive
that thing. Come on.
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the tram.
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00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:46,750
Daddy, that new barrel sure gives you
more range.
10
00:00:46,970 --> 00:00:49,370
Yep. Should have never sawed the
sumbitch off in the first place.
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I think I need my walker looked at.
12
00:00:56,330 --> 00:00:59,070
Same thing pulling to the right. Check
it out.
13
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Silencer. Them baby birds are going to
have to live a life without a mama no
14
00:01:04,430 --> 00:01:06,070
more. Yep, just like you.
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Bullseye! I guess I'll hop on down there
to the Medicaid.
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They'll give me another one.
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Hey, see if they'll give you a few of
them. I want to give this thing sniper
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capability.
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Bullseye!
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Oh, don't that just beat all?
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Come on, man, just give her a ride.
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Damn. All right.
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Hey, bud, you having some car trouble
there?
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Nope. It's a high breed.
25
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When it switches over, ooh, it runs
quiet. I can't do this. I'm an old
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I said it runs quiet. Take a damn left.
Let's see what kind of pickup you get in
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the mountains.
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Yeah, yeah. Woo -hoo.
29
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Get it up. Get it up, bitch. Get on. Get
on. Woo. Get on that.
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Lord help me, Jesus.
31
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I can't go no further.
32
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Remember, you're pulling the truck.
33
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I'm pulling for you. Oh, hand me that
line of gold, Lord.
34
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Check it out. Huzzah!
35
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Oh, why didn't I go Shinto?
36
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Good job, Granny.
37
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I still got a whole quarter tank left.
38
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You one big -ass monk.
39
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Do you come seeking wisdom?
40
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Uh -uh. Oh, no.
41
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I live up here in the fresh air, off the
grid. I don't remember asking you.
42
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Now, look at that.
43
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You've done gotten a thunderbolt all
over your face.
44
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You stand in the presence of Thunderclap
Cherokee Edwards.
45
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But I don't want to talk about that.
46
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I'm a wisdom seeker now.
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Hey, do the flies of thunder. Come on,
snap her neck. Do it! That was a long
48
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time ago, brother. Come on, I don't see
it. No, no, I'm a different man now. She
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won't feel fine. Come on, go ahead, do
it. I left those violent ways behind.
50
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Come on, do it for me. No, no, brother.
51
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Come on! I couldn't possibly. Do the
flies of thunder!
52
00:03:37,090 --> 00:03:41,210
Do you really want to see it? Hell yeah!
You know I do! Do you want to see it?
53
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Damn it! I said, do you want to see it?
I said yes!
54
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Then the flies of thunder!
55
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We'll rain down from Mount Olympus. Help
me.
56
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He's
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00:03:54,580 --> 00:04:01,280
still got
58
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it. Huh?
59
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:04,460
What'd you say? What did you say?
60
00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:06,720
I'm trying to live. Are you talking to
me?
61
00:04:07,460 --> 00:04:10,760
Huh? You wanted the heat. You got the
heat.
62
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But the heat must be hot no more.
63
00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:22,300
Brother, it's not something I like to
think about or talk about, but here's
64
00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:26,680
happened. Thunderclap was in Africa
grappling at the Give Starvation the
65
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:30,480
Smackdown Slamathon for Wrestlers
Without Borders when the match got
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Thunderclap tagged his partner Ubuntu
too hard. Too hard!
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The repercussions were immediate.
68
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Thunderclap lost his belt and lost the
Thunder Hummer to his ex -wife, the less
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-than -lovely Thunder Bitch, Beth.
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He only gets to spend every other
weekend with Thunder Ian and
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Okay, Thunderclap. He even lost his
Thunder reality show to the living deal.
72
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right, Thunder, Thunder, Thunder.
73
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I get it. Stop with the damn Thunder
already.
74
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Damn. It forced Thunderclap to look
inward and reflect.
75
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And I reflected with a vengeance.
76
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,160
And I'll tell you this, my brothers.
77
00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:10,800
Thunderclap turned his back on violence.
78
00:05:11,930 --> 00:05:16,750
Vowing never again to harm a human
being. Well, to be fair, it's also
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00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,610
you got your ass kicked by everybody.
80
00:05:18,910 --> 00:05:20,210
Fair enough, brother. Belgian waffle.
81
00:05:20,690 --> 00:05:21,690
Colonel Cracker.
82
00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:22,669
Yes. Kiwi.
83
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The shrimp.
84
00:05:23,310 --> 00:05:26,750
The lady man. I remember. The legion of
gloom. The raging pappus. Okay, okay.
85
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Firecracker Pete. Tiny Tony.
86
00:05:28,410 --> 00:05:29,409
Give me a break. The vegetable.
87
00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:31,810
That's enough. I mean, I don't know how
he kicked your ass, because all you got
88
00:05:31,810 --> 00:05:34,470
to do is pull the plug and you win. All
right. He wanted you to do it, but you
89
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tripped over the power cord and broke
your damn jaw. That tears it, little
90
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,020
The clouds are gathering.
91
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The thunder is about to break. On you!
92
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It's on!
93
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Woo!
94
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Woo! It's on!
95
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No, no, no! It's on! Come on, now! It's
off!
96
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Hi, Daddy.
97
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Oh, hey.
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Uh, you got yourself a fight next
Saturday.
99
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:04,299
Wait, what?
100
00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:08,700
I wanted to kick his ass for you myself,
but my damn... Some carpal tunnel got
101
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me. Too much blogging, I reckon.
102
00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:14,280
Oh, is he gone yet?
103
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It's up to you, son.
104
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Defend the family name.
105
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You got a fire in your heart.
106
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And you're coming out fighting.
107
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What the hell are you doing, boy?
108
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I'm training.
109
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You're boozing my jerky.
110
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I want to win the fight.
111
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,060
You don't get ready for a fight by
training.
112
00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:35,440
To be a winner, you got to look like a
winner.
113
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:41,220
This is the, uh, horse we talked about.
114
00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:42,460
That's the one.
115
00:06:43,260 --> 00:06:48,100
Okay, I have no reason to doubt you. It
says here it's made to increase milk
116
00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:51,180
production. But it'll probably work for
muscles, too.
117
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All right, son.
118
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Open up your belly button and say, ah.
119
00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:55,760
Ah.
120
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You've got a fire in your heart.
121
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And a needle for the lightning.
122
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:07,440
You need to choose up to win and stop
the...
123
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,220
I can't find my balls.
124
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,240
Balls is a state of mind, son.
125
00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:15,540
Hell, you got more balls than you ever
had.
126
00:07:16,220 --> 00:07:18,620
Six or seven little bitty ones. Oh,
yeah, they're there.
127
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:20,680
Damn, not a vein amongst them.
128
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,920
All right, I reckon I'll have to go into
the eye.
129
00:07:24,780 --> 00:07:26,380
Call her if I touch the brain, though.
130
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:32,620
And when the pressure is on and the
temperature's high, you're
131
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:35,200
gonna prove them wrong.
132
00:07:56,140 --> 00:07:59,520
No, go back to that. I like that
commercial.
133
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:28,580
Mr. Rusty.
134
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:32,799
I'm joking, of course. All proceeds go
to me.
135
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,760
Well, Rusty, you really bulked up for
this.
136
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,460
All thanks to the Walker Texas Ranger
Total Gym.
137
00:08:38,940 --> 00:08:40,940
Over 300 unique muscle building
exercises.
138
00:08:42,299 --> 00:08:45,020
Look, you want to see what round this
is?
139
00:08:45,460 --> 00:08:47,680
You're going to have to come in with me.
140
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:54,800
All right, you two. Now, we want a good,
clean... You been talking about my gym?
141
00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:55,920
Remember?
142
00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:02,810
Jesus. No clicks, bitch.
143
00:09:03,170 --> 00:09:05,650
Will you sign this? It's for my
grandson.
144
00:09:06,150 --> 00:09:07,210
I am your grandson.
145
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,770
Yeah, that's for him. I told you I am
your grandson.
146
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:13,550
Making out the rest of you.
147
00:09:15,590 --> 00:09:17,870
You calling yourself a role model?
148
00:09:18,130 --> 00:09:20,270
My grandson admires you.
149
00:09:21,550 --> 00:09:23,690
Order. Order, please.
150
00:09:24,110 --> 00:09:27,990
I'd like to apologize for any pain I may
have caused.
151
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:30,620
I want to move forward now.
152
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:34,640
All that's in the past. At least 30
minutes ago. Let's all move on, can we?
153
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,100
Russell, we don't care about the drunk
fighting.
154
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,520
It's the integrity of drunk fighting
we're concerned about.
155
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:46,120
Could you tell the court, please,
doctor, what you found in Rusty's
156
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,160
back zit pus?
157
00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:49,300
Bovine supplements.
158
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:52,160
Betrayal! Human growth hormone.
159
00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:53,910
Y 'all damn... Uh,
160
00:09:54,630 --> 00:09:57,810
pretty much, uh, everything at the, uh,
pharmacy.
161
00:09:58,110 --> 00:09:59,710
And some vitamin supplements, B12.
162
00:10:00,130 --> 00:10:01,750
And these syringes here?
163
00:10:02,150 --> 00:10:03,210
Innocent flu shots.
164
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:06,950
His immune system shot the piss cause
all them damn roids he took.
165
00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:10,730
Can you read this label for the court,
please, Rusty? Let me do it, Rusty.
166
00:10:12,390 --> 00:10:17,750
No. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to put an
asterisk by your name in the Dougal
167
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:20,150
County Big Book of Brawls. That is
wrong, ma 'am.
168
00:10:20,430 --> 00:10:24,460
Unacceptable. That's like a mark against
my son. Well, yeah, early. That's
169
00:10:24,460 --> 00:10:26,700
exactly what it is. But we can make it
small.
170
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:31,880
This feud is not over, would -be seventh
grader. All right. But any chance of my
171
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:36,460
having a sexually fulfilling
relationship with a female appears to
172
00:10:36,460 --> 00:10:37,460
enough, Thunderclap.
173
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:38,500
Thunderclap was wrong.
174
00:10:38,740 --> 00:10:39,740
Thunderclap. Seriously.
175
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:43,040
Thunderclap wants a second shot at
development.
176
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:46,240
I've heard enough.
177
00:10:46,830 --> 00:10:52,550
I sentence everyone in this courtroom to
be there Saturday for the trouncing on
178
00:10:52,550 --> 00:10:56,690
the mountain. There's going to be a lot
of geek on the floor. As me, Rui J., the
179
00:10:56,690 --> 00:11:01,470
sagging senior, puts our winless record
on the line against Rusty. I
180
00:11:01,470 --> 00:11:04,350
need money.
181
00:11:04,810 --> 00:11:05,769
What money?
182
00:11:05,770 --> 00:11:06,770
There ain't no money.
183
00:11:06,930 --> 00:11:07,930
It's a murder.
184
00:11:08,190 --> 00:11:11,850
All proceeds to no literacy. Only on pay
-per -view.
14555
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