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1
00:00:04,829 --> 00:00:08,890
I gave all my best years to that woman.
2
00:00:10,370 --> 00:00:14,190
All she gave me was a mouth to feed.
3
00:00:15,550 --> 00:00:19,650
A miracle straight from the launch of
Jesus.
4
00:00:20,950 --> 00:00:24,910
Since Charlie blew off both my tears,
please.
5
00:00:25,690 --> 00:00:28,910
1969, Cameron Bay.
6
00:00:32,220 --> 00:00:33,220
The tram.
7
00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:42,260
A refill.
8
00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:48,140
I'll tell you what, Crystal. We like to
use this promotion as a law pleader to
9
00:00:48,140 --> 00:00:49,140
get people in.
10
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,100
Are you ready for another? Refill. Come
on right up.
11
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:10,820
And no ice.
12
00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:12,560
I'm on to your game.
13
00:01:17,220 --> 00:01:22,820
I was just hoping maybe... Back up.
You're crowding up on me. Y 'all will
14
00:01:22,820 --> 00:01:25,120
until my bottomless Thursday slate.
15
00:01:27,860 --> 00:01:28,860
Okay.
16
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:31,820
He touched my ass.
17
00:01:34,380 --> 00:01:35,380
again, that feels good.
18
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:39,620
How about I give you this whole spool of
scratch -off tickets if you'll agree to
19
00:01:39,620 --> 00:01:40,620
leave the premises?
20
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:41,640
How'd that be?
21
00:01:42,140 --> 00:01:44,600
Fine. Call the fire department.
22
00:01:44,900 --> 00:01:48,980
Thank God for that. You tell them to
watch it with them body winches. If I
23
00:01:48,980 --> 00:01:50,100
bruises, I'll sue.
24
00:01:52,140 --> 00:01:53,140
Refill.
25
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,360
Them three snowballs got a match.
26
00:02:01,260 --> 00:02:05,880
Come on now, damn it. You want mama to
love you now, don't you? I'm scratching
27
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,240
as hard as I can. We still going to the
movies, right?
28
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:10,240
No.
29
00:02:10,740 --> 00:02:11,740
Oh.
30
00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:14,880
Well, that's okay. That's just your way
of saying I love you, right?
31
00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:16,900
No.
32
00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:18,100
They match?
33
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:19,720
No.
34
00:02:20,260 --> 00:02:21,420
Keep scratching.
35
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,820
Keep scratching.
36
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,320
I ain't hearing no scratching, Rog.
37
00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:40,480
Mama, I'm getting blisters. Can I have a
coin?
38
00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:44,860
Dumbass, if I had a nickel, I wouldn't
need to scratch these tickets.
39
00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:49,040
Didn't your mama teach you? Oh, my God.
Mama, Mama, look here. We got a match.
40
00:02:49,220 --> 00:02:52,940
Let me see. Mama, we got a match. Look
at this. I told you not to mess with
41
00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:55,300
Mama's lottery tickets.
42
00:02:56,420 --> 00:02:57,420
Yay.
43
00:02:58,580 --> 00:02:59,680
I'm a winner.
44
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:01,719
I'll see.
45
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:03,820
Tear me off 17 fat chances.
46
00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:06,660
Okay. And three piss it aways.
47
00:03:06,860 --> 00:03:11,320
Yeah, okay. And 23 up 22, a fool and has
monies.
48
00:03:11,620 --> 00:03:15,780
Why don't you take the whole world
since, you know, since you're robbing me
49
00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:16,780
all. I got a system.
50
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,620
Well, there's no money in the tail.
Could you see Crystal Hughes?
51
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:21,140
Crystal's a dumb bitch.
52
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:25,060
If she can win it, you know I can bring
it home. I'm a man.
53
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:29,460
You gonna do anything here, hon? Well, I
just don't want to create a situation
54
00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:34,000
where you're dependent on me. You boys
are adults now. Y 'all can't come
55
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,520
to me every time you got a problem.
56
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:40,580
Now look at him, Sheriff. He's
scratching off all my price tags and
57
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:44,860
Damn it! I need me to scratch me some
way to some money! Well, I think you
58
00:03:44,860 --> 00:03:47,200
should have married that old gal when
you had the chance.
59
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:49,860
You saying we still ain't got something
special between us?
60
00:03:50,140 --> 00:03:54,140
No, I'm just saying you better stay
about 250 feet away from her, per the
61
00:03:54,140 --> 00:03:59,090
order. Domestic violence ain't a joke,
Early, even though you did kind of try
62
00:03:59,090 --> 00:04:00,830
do it in a funny way, you know.
63
00:04:01,090 --> 00:04:03,130
You mean when I dropped that safe on her
head.
64
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,470
See, a piano would have sounded funnier.
65
00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:11,670
You know, a piano makes that sound, you
know, when it hits the ground.
66
00:04:12,630 --> 00:04:14,430
That would have been fun. What the hell
do you know?
67
00:04:15,390 --> 00:04:16,950
250 feet away, Early.
68
00:04:17,269 --> 00:04:18,310
Don't you forget that.
69
00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:26,300
Mistakes. So have you.
70
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,380
Your mistakes caused all mine. You mean
smack bitch.
71
00:04:30,820 --> 00:04:32,720
Early, you had to back up some now.
72
00:04:33,700 --> 00:04:35,740
Hey, you know, it's just water under the
bridge.
73
00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:38,820
Because I'm here to say, you in my
heart.
74
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:44,060
Now I want you to get on them fat chubby
knees and take my manhood into your
75
00:04:44,060 --> 00:04:44,939
sugar wall.
76
00:04:44,940 --> 00:04:45,940
Leave it back, Early.
77
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,720
I can't come to you, little gal, but you
can come to me.
78
00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:52,060
No, I can't.
79
00:04:52,270 --> 00:04:54,170
Yep, that's right, Earley. She's game.
80
00:04:54,470 --> 00:04:55,930
She's fat like a shut -in.
81
00:04:56,710 --> 00:04:58,230
Damn it. Oh, come on now, Sheriff.
82
00:04:58,450 --> 00:05:02,530
You gonna let the law get in the way of
true love? You go back to hell from
83
00:05:02,530 --> 00:05:04,830
where you came from. Damn this invisible
prison.
84
00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:07,750
She's a -taunting me. All right, Earley.
You're raising wits, cutting to the
85
00:05:07,750 --> 00:05:08,750
core.
86
00:05:08,930 --> 00:05:11,630
Well, where the hell are you going now?
None of your business.
87
00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:14,130
It is my business. I love you.
88
00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:16,770
I'll find you. I will kill you.
89
00:05:17,130 --> 00:05:18,650
I'll always be here for you.
90
00:05:19,290 --> 00:05:20,990
And I'm gonna get that sumbitch of
money.
91
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:28,680
Okay, so we're going to do an esophageal
bypass. It cuts your digestive system
92
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,700
completely out of the process, and
you'll look great for about two weeks,
93
00:05:31,700 --> 00:05:35,140
you'll eventually starve to death. But
you will look really great for those two
94
00:05:35,140 --> 00:05:36,099
weeks.
95
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:37,640
Really great. Light it up.
96
00:05:37,940 --> 00:05:38,940
Okay.
97
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:43,360
Hey, hey, hey, hey. What's that? Look
over there. What's that?
98
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:44,600
And done.
99
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:47,179
There we go.
100
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,400
Well, all right.
101
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,720
I got me a new lease on life.
102
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,600
Yes. A two -week lease, a massive
awkward failure.
103
00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:57,540
Enough?
104
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:05,820
Oh, my sweet. I suppose you're wondering
why I asked you on this romantic
105
00:06:05,820 --> 00:06:10,680
stroll. The truth is, I have a guilty
conscience. Give me one of them roosters
106
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:11,680
on a stick.
107
00:06:11,820 --> 00:06:13,280
One fried carrion for the lady.
108
00:06:13,700 --> 00:06:19,000
I... I want to apologize for the time I
built that waste treatment plant around
109
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,260
you. It's just you wouldn't budge and...
110
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:25,260
Damn eminent domain law. Damn it to
hell. Ain't nothing but a thing.
111
00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:32,140
Enchanting. Please, allow me.
112
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,840
That did I must have you.
113
00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:41,680
Substantial. I would rest so heavily in
the hand.
114
00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:46,840
Quick, that's my path. I want to feel it
tightening my pockets. Look at that
115
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:47,840
bitch.
116
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:52,400
Fraternizing with them damn blue bloods.
That money's done gone to her damn slut
117
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:53,980
head. Well, hell.
118
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:55,240
Look at there, Early.
119
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,920
She's done purchased herself a fourth
input.
120
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,900
Just when I thought she couldn't be no
more perfect.
121
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:06,200
Heaven must be a -missin' a fat old
angel.
122
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,920
Hey, there's our Miss America.
123
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,840
Great job keeping that nickel free of
blockages.
124
00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,060
What is this?
125
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:18,880
Oh, God.
126
00:07:19,810 --> 00:07:23,850
Crystal. I guess your fat was covering
up a Siamese twin.
127
00:07:24,230 --> 00:07:25,230
Amber Jean?
128
00:07:25,390 --> 00:07:26,830
We played Smear the Queer.
129
00:07:27,170 --> 00:07:31,250
And then it grew dark. Cut it off. No,
no. It's up in my business.
130
00:07:32,470 --> 00:07:33,990
Give me some sugar.
131
00:07:35,530 --> 00:07:40,270
Wow, am I tired after that sexually
heated display.
132
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:45,470
You take it out of me, you succubus.
Who's this man in our house? Boy, you
133
00:07:45,470 --> 00:07:47,790
better show respect to your new step.
134
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:50,240
Guy who's effing me?
135
00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:53,000
Well, we haven't effed yet per se.
136
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:59,200
But soon we will eff, because of course
I'm totally into effing my fairest lady
137
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,700
here. All the way.
138
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:02,800
The full way.
139
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:04,600
I ain't seen his junk yet.
140
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,500
Pull your junk out and show it to me.
141
00:08:07,740 --> 00:08:09,920
I do have it. It's just retractable.
142
00:08:10,140 --> 00:08:14,300
Come on. We're gonna see Johnny Mnemonic
as a dollar. We're gonna see Johnny
143
00:08:14,300 --> 00:08:15,500
Mnemonic? You mean it, mama?
144
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,070
And that flap wagon ain't gonna pull
itself.
145
00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:21,050
This is the best day of my life! Woo
-hoo! Yeah!
146
00:08:25,270 --> 00:08:26,270
Well,
147
00:08:31,250 --> 00:08:36,830
I'm gonna go get some gobbledygooks.
Does anyone have $275 ,000?
148
00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:43,110
Uh -uh -uh -uh. You gonna shake for you
supper?
149
00:08:43,350 --> 00:08:44,350
Oh, sure. Absolutely.
150
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:48,440
You like this?
151
00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:49,640
Mmm, there it is.
152
00:08:49,980 --> 00:08:51,680
Is this what you desire?
153
00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,220
Take it out, big man.
154
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,840
Like a big old coil of rope.
155
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:58,400
I don't know what that means, but thank
you.
156
00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:04,860
Hola.
157
00:09:09,140 --> 00:09:10,960
I am Dan Halen.
158
00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:14,160
Hi.
159
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:15,920
You look darker than I remember.
160
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:17,400
Did you get a tan?
161
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:20,840
Gobbledy goo for you?
162
00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:23,100
What the hell's that?
163
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:29,200
I need some alone time to think things
through with this body.
164
00:09:34,460 --> 00:09:38,120
Could you tack down my Kim K's brand
new?
165
00:09:38,460 --> 00:09:39,820
I'm catching a gust.
166
00:09:40,420 --> 00:09:43,240
I liked her better when she had more
meat on them bones.
167
00:09:43,910 --> 00:09:48,290
This wife look makes me want not to
stalk her quite so intensely.
168
00:09:50,010 --> 00:09:52,630
Look, Randy, it's a spaceman.
169
00:09:53,430 --> 00:09:58,990
Crystal, I've thought long and hard
about where we're going as a couple, and
170
00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:01,070
don't want to lose you.
171
00:10:01,690 --> 00:10:03,130
I want to know what love is.
172
00:10:03,450 --> 00:10:08,630
I want you to show me. This heart needs
a second chance. I feel like making love
173
00:10:08,630 --> 00:10:09,609
to you.
174
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:12,630
Loving in elevator, living it up when
I'm going down.
175
00:10:13,810 --> 00:10:14,830
Arisman's greatest hit.
176
00:10:16,070 --> 00:10:18,810
I'm afraid that's all I had in the
rocket.
177
00:10:19,010 --> 00:10:20,010
Well, you're too late.
178
00:10:20,170 --> 00:10:23,550
I mean, I'm already with Dan Halen. Si,
si.
179
00:10:23,810 --> 00:10:25,350
Yo soy Dan Halen.
180
00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:28,250
So you are.
181
00:10:29,010 --> 00:10:32,150
I hope I make you as happy as we were
once.
182
00:10:32,790 --> 00:10:35,510
Can I dance for you one more time?
183
00:10:35,850 --> 00:10:36,850
Hi.
184
00:10:41,900 --> 00:10:43,280
I ain't got no money.
185
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:44,760
But the lottery.
186
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,820
I bought scratch -offs with all my mad
money.
187
00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:50,700
It was never about winning for me.
188
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,100
The thrill's in the chase.
189
00:10:53,580 --> 00:10:56,580
You gotta work like you've never been
hurt.
190
00:10:57,140 --> 00:11:02,660
Like you don't need the money. And
scratch like nobody's watching. Oh, my
191
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,000
We got us a match, Mom.
192
00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:07,120
Three dollars.
193
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:08,600
All right.
194
00:11:10,190 --> 00:11:12,310
Ah, damn it! There you go.
14911
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