Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,170 --> 00:00:11,950
Somehow I got spinal meningitis
Injecting all
2
00:00:11,950 --> 00:00:18,210
that hashbray in my spine It's a super
cheap way
3
00:00:18,210 --> 00:00:24,810
to party If you ain't killed some brain
cells every time
4
00:00:24,810 --> 00:00:29,030
Good luck getting that child support
check from me now. My turn.
5
00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:32,520
Hell no. Hey, man, let me try that
thing. Come on. Touch the trim.
6
00:00:43,020 --> 00:00:44,160
Ow! Damn!
7
00:00:44,460 --> 00:00:45,460
Mm -hmm.
8
00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:46,940
He's ripe, all right.
9
00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,060
The time be nigh.
10
00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:50,539
That's what?
11
00:00:50,540 --> 00:00:54,200
To take you down to the jiggle hut. Have
old Trixie flip you over and give you
12
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:55,700
your first Tuscaloosa dumpling.
13
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:56,979
Oh, all right.
14
00:00:56,980 --> 00:00:59,020
That's good. I like dumplings. It ain't
food, boy.
15
00:00:59,340 --> 00:01:05,239
Huh? It's a revolting and arousing act
of sexual perversion slash rite of
16
00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:06,240
passage.
17
00:01:06,580 --> 00:01:07,580
We think.
18
00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:10,180
You think? Nobody knows for sure.
19
00:01:10,620 --> 00:01:11,199
Except Lil.
20
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:15,740
She invented it. Yeah, it's a twist on
the classic Cherokee chin strap.
21
00:01:15,940 --> 00:01:20,280
You top it off with a Montgomery monkey
tail and then you finish it with a gravy
22
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,640
chaser. Now, wait a minute. I always
thought it was when a man gives a woman
23
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:27,180
little Memphis mouthwash. No. And
simultaneously she administers the
24
00:01:27,180 --> 00:01:28,180
blister. No.
25
00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,500
on the bridge of his nose. Biloxi
blister.
26
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:31,980
Birmingham biloxi, same thing.
27
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:33,960
Well, I'm from the old school.
28
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,960
Well, it is not the same thing. Hell,
you don't know. It's the same damn
29
00:01:38,020 --> 00:01:42,160
If you don't see a little cartilage, you
ain't in biloxi. Wait, look. And I'm
30
00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,740
sorry, but Birmingham ain't no fun for
nobody.
31
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:48,620
Daddy, I don't think I want one of them
Tuscaloosa... Come on now, boy. You show
32
00:01:48,620 --> 00:01:51,180
me you're a man, and we'll get you that
tattoo finished.
33
00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:55,460
That's all right. I didn't really want
this tattoo. I told you, boy, it ain't
34
00:01:55,460 --> 00:01:57,640
Brooks and Dunn without Ronnie Dunn.
35
00:01:58,110 --> 00:01:59,110
All right, then.
36
00:01:59,150 --> 00:02:02,070
Let's go get me that dumpling. Whoa, big
man.
37
00:02:02,510 --> 00:02:04,490
He's just gonna go get that dumpling
now.
38
00:02:04,930 --> 00:02:07,810
He's got a birthright to it. Look at me,
Granny.
39
00:02:08,110 --> 00:02:13,170
I'm gonna have me a job and respect from
my peers. Just cause I say so. Oh,
40
00:02:13,230 --> 00:02:17,510
Russell, you're so stupid and sweet. You
got the iron nest, boy. You understand
41
00:02:17,510 --> 00:02:18,510
me?
42
00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:22,490
I don't think I understand a word you
say. I don't prefer that you do. All my
43
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:25,970
musings and my rambling. Now is the time
for the trials.
44
00:02:26,350 --> 00:02:27,350
To the woods.
45
00:02:27,450 --> 00:02:28,450
the inquisitations.
46
00:02:31,250 --> 00:02:32,250
Wait a minute now.
47
00:02:32,330 --> 00:02:34,370
I thought you was going to ask me some
inquisitations.
48
00:02:34,630 --> 00:02:38,570
No, I just said inquisitations because I
couldn't think of that word what means
49
00:02:38,570 --> 00:02:39,570
wrestle a bear.
50
00:02:40,470 --> 00:02:45,010
Wrestle? Yeah, that's it. Now you put
yourself a diamond hat on and wrestle
51
00:02:45,010 --> 00:02:46,010
hell out of that bear.
52
00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:50,770
Hey now, how am I supposed to kill this
bear with no damn weapon? Hmm.
53
00:02:51,510 --> 00:02:54,090
I wonder, what would a man do?
54
00:02:54,810 --> 00:02:56,670
Right there, man. You defeated a bear?
55
00:02:56,930 --> 00:03:00,510
Nope. Bought this here in Gatlinburg.
Right after I seen the three -headed
56
00:03:00,570 --> 00:03:03,310
I tore at Ripley's with the crooked room
with the marble what rolls upwards.
57
00:03:03,730 --> 00:03:04,970
Marbles that roll upwards?
58
00:03:05,410 --> 00:03:06,410
But how?
59
00:03:06,590 --> 00:03:07,990
Manhood is confusing, son.
60
00:03:08,450 --> 00:03:09,470
I want to go to Gatlinburg!
61
00:03:09,710 --> 00:03:11,150
Then you must wrestle the bear!
62
00:03:11,910 --> 00:03:13,110
Poke it in, boys.
63
00:03:13,490 --> 00:03:15,670
And I ain't doing nothing after this.
64
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,360
It's pretty much dead.
65
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:41,980
But that is no time to get
overconfident. Here, take some water.
66
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:46,340
Airwinds by digestion.
67
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:51,040
Yeah, boy, I told you we could kick that
old squid. Oh, wait a minute.
68
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:52,440
What's wrong, kid?
69
00:04:06,250 --> 00:04:08,190
I reckon this is my Dippy Dan hairdryer
from China.
70
00:04:08,430 --> 00:04:13,070
Eighty percent lead. That's how I get
that sculpted look. Oh, well, seeing
71
00:04:13,070 --> 00:04:15,490
Ain't now the time I get me my
Tuscaloosa dumpling.
72
00:04:15,910 --> 00:04:18,890
This proves nothing. The mere boast of a
child.
73
00:04:19,110 --> 00:04:20,630
More inquisitations!
74
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:26,210
In this hand, I clutch the feather of
the coke.
75
00:04:29,190 --> 00:04:33,330
Granny, shut the hell up. Oh, I just
learned that.
76
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,810
In this hand, I clutch... It's the
feather of a caulk.
77
00:04:37,090 --> 00:04:39,850
And this one, a shiny ingot of gold.
78
00:04:40,450 --> 00:04:43,470
I ask thee, which will fall faster?
79
00:04:43,990 --> 00:04:44,849
The ingot.
80
00:04:44,850 --> 00:04:46,790
Well, let's just see about that.
81
00:04:49,610 --> 00:04:50,630
Looks like I was right.
82
00:04:50,870 --> 00:04:51,729
About what?
83
00:04:51,730 --> 00:04:52,890
About the ingot fell first.
84
00:04:53,170 --> 00:04:56,110
My gold ingot? My nugget? From
Gatlinburg? Oh, no.
85
00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:59,170
Where the hell is it? Down there where
you damn threw it. Oh, no.
86
00:04:59,530 --> 00:05:00,830
What could have possessed me?
87
00:05:01,130 --> 00:05:02,130
Go on, get it, boy.
88
00:05:02,690 --> 00:05:04,930
Is this part of the inquisitation? It's
part of my look.
89
00:05:06,060 --> 00:05:09,960
with my pink muscle tee. I got it
myrtle. Eye -brushed image of me
90
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,520
dune on a four -wheel ATV.
91
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:14,780
My head all the way bigger than my body,
which I always thought was funny.
92
00:05:15,060 --> 00:05:16,100
How fast will it fall?
93
00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,960
We're about to find out. Time it. No,
wait. Damn it. My accessories.
94
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,820
I guess I ain't going out tonight. Wait,
Daddy. Your head where? It don't
95
00:05:23,820 --> 00:05:24,820
matter, Miles.
96
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,560
I was a giant fella.
97
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,480
Everything is temporary.
98
00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:32,160
No, no. Wait, Daddy. Hey, we gotta go
get me one of them Tuscaloosa Dublins.
99
00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:35,300
Oh.
100
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:36,500
Oh, yeah.
101
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:38,240
Sounds good.
102
00:05:38,660 --> 00:05:39,660
Now, you go on, boy.
103
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,000
Bust a nut.
104
00:05:41,420 --> 00:05:42,420
What? Here?
105
00:05:42,740 --> 00:05:43,740
Right now?
106
00:06:07,370 --> 00:06:08,430
More of a snack, really.
107
00:06:08,770 --> 00:06:13,010
Well, I think they should take this
towel out. The towel stays.
108
00:06:13,970 --> 00:06:17,830
All right, son. This here is an ancient
Cherokee sweat lodge where we is about
109
00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:20,070
to commune with the spirits about your
manhood.
110
00:06:20,310 --> 00:06:25,310
Oh, great spirits, rain your wisdom from
the sky. That is the unisex bathroom at
111
00:06:25,310 --> 00:06:26,310
the sipping strut.
112
00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:28,610
Oh, so it is.
113
00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:31,010
I am drunker than hell.
114
00:06:32,070 --> 00:06:33,150
Drive me home, son.
115
00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:42,840
Here we go.
116
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:48,260
How you doing there, Sheriff?
117
00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:49,560
Get behind the wheel.
118
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:52,480
You don't know me, you ain't seen me.
I'm down here passed out. Oh, hey,
119
00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:55,300
Sheriff. How you doing? It's a nice day
tonight, isn't it?
120
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:57,700
License and registration, please.
121
00:06:58,120 --> 00:06:59,620
Changing lanes illegal now?
122
00:06:59,860 --> 00:07:03,120
Okay. Tell them make the hand signal.
Come on. I got another one for you, too,
123
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,320
you smart -off -it mate. Oh, come on,
guys.
124
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:07,120
Humor me a little, will you?
125
00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:10,480
They put a camera on the car because I
ain't hitting my quotas. Why, Sheriff?
126
00:07:10,910 --> 00:07:14,630
I don't know what to give you. I'm
underage and he's suspended. How about I
127
00:07:14,630 --> 00:07:17,710
suspend my tax dollars from paying your
piss -poor salary?
128
00:07:17,930 --> 00:07:21,210
How do you like that? Look, guys, just
hand me something. Here's my idea.
129
00:07:22,030 --> 00:07:23,830
My idea of a good time.
130
00:07:26,730 --> 00:07:31,650
Okay, according to this diet beer can
you've handed me, there's only 70
131
00:07:31,650 --> 00:07:32,650
per serving.
132
00:07:33,230 --> 00:07:34,590
Wait right here for a minute.
133
00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:39,950
Damn, he's crazy.
134
00:07:42,990 --> 00:07:43,669
Oh, great.
135
00:07:43,670 --> 00:07:46,690
This is going to drive our insurance
premiums right through the damn roof.
136
00:07:47,070 --> 00:07:48,190
I ain't got no insurance.
137
00:07:50,010 --> 00:07:51,010
Oh, good.
138
00:07:53,850 --> 00:07:54,850
Okay, gentlemen.
139
00:07:55,030 --> 00:07:56,650
Everything seems to check out.
140
00:07:56,870 --> 00:08:00,570
All right, y 'all remember to fasten
your seatbelts, and early, I want to
141
00:08:00,570 --> 00:08:04,090
you to stay at least 150 feet away from
that woman.
142
00:08:04,510 --> 00:08:05,469
What woman?
143
00:08:05,470 --> 00:08:06,590
Oh, come on.
144
00:08:07,670 --> 00:08:09,550
You know exactly what woman.
145
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:13,970
You're looking fine.
146
00:08:15,630 --> 00:08:16,950
All right, now you do it.
147
00:08:21,010 --> 00:08:22,010
Do it again.
148
00:08:22,090 --> 00:08:24,930
Maybe she's running her hot, sexy bath
and don't hear the bells.
149
00:08:28,010 --> 00:08:29,010
She'll come.
150
00:08:29,130 --> 00:08:30,190
She wants it.
151
00:08:35,070 --> 00:08:38,010
Sometimes you just got to keep doing it
till somebody loses patience.
152
00:08:42,669 --> 00:08:44,030
You looking fine in there.
153
00:08:44,550 --> 00:08:47,090
You naked under the... Oh.
154
00:08:48,350 --> 00:08:49,350
Get down, bitch.
155
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:53,370
You know I'm the one for you. Your man
ain't nothing but a sleep warmer. I'm
156
00:08:53,370 --> 00:08:55,390
star of your life. Squid from work.
157
00:08:55,770 --> 00:08:57,810
You know him? No. Do you love him?
158
00:08:58,090 --> 00:09:01,910
Answer me. Do you love him? He's
stalking me. Remember the guy that
159
00:09:01,910 --> 00:09:04,390
mailbox with dead squirrels? Oh, is that
him?
160
00:09:04,930 --> 00:09:09,090
He's always asking about you, looking at
the picture on my desk, asking me what
161
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:12,010
color panties you wear and what you
smell like.
162
00:09:12,550 --> 00:09:15,750
And to describe that, I should have
known.
163
00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:19,330
I thought he was fired. No, in order to
get fired, you've got to be written up
164
00:09:19,330 --> 00:09:22,810
three times, and then that's a
reprimand, and then two reprimands.
165
00:09:22,810 --> 00:09:27,210
meet with HR and attend a sensitivity
seminar, which is voluntary.
166
00:09:27,570 --> 00:09:27,710
That
167
00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:36,110
ain't
168
00:09:36,110 --> 00:09:37,110
no doorbell, Dan.
169
00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:38,390
Make the sound with your mouth.
170
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:40,920
But Daddy, that can't happen. Make the
sound with your mouth.
171
00:09:41,340 --> 00:09:42,380
Ding dong.
172
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,000
Ding dong.
173
00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:48,620
Go on, do it again.
174
00:09:48,820 --> 00:09:49,820
Ding dong.
175
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,200
Now, shove this dead squirrel in the
mail slot.
176
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:55,320
It'll fit.
177
00:09:58,680 --> 00:10:00,280
The stalking is complete.
178
00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:03,380
You've been stalked by a man on this
day.
179
00:10:23,580 --> 00:10:24,580
Call me?
180
00:10:29,140 --> 00:10:33,080
Has it started? Am I a pleaser? I don't
want to be no selfish lover now. You sit
181
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:34,400
here. I got to negotiate.
182
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:43,500
What'd I do next, Daddy? Go on to the
kitchen, ask for one Pablo, and you
183
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:45,020
wash up all them buffet dishes.
184
00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:46,279
Then I'm a man.
185
00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,780
And then you a big, big man.
186
00:10:49,260 --> 00:10:50,740
Come on now, Thunderburn.
14666
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof