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00:00:06,999 --> 00:00:08,980
It's all my property.
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Don't care if the bank gave you a deed.
3
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This farm's been kind of land for
generations.
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Since we beat back them sneaky Japanese.
5
00:00:25,180 --> 00:00:29,000
In the war of 1812, bring our boys home.
6
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,540
Hell no. Hey, man, let me drive that
thing. Come on. Cut the trim.
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00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:49,660
So, Daddy, seems like a pretty cool job
sitting there reading the funnies and
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00:00:49,660 --> 00:00:53,440
everything. Isn't that pretty much what
you do all day? What was that?
9
00:01:00,780 --> 00:01:05,360
Today we're testing Oceanic Musk, one of
the wonderful scents in our exciting
10
00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,440
new line of sexual warrior body spray.
11
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:14,000
As you can see, our lead scientist is
currently experiencing a slight stinging
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00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,000
sensation.
13
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:22,200
Well, enough of that. Come, let's walk
to the cloning station where we've just
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00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,880
finished reanimating the dreaded Gojira.
15
00:01:26,380 --> 00:01:27,860
Just kidding, guys.
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Just love hearing you people scream.
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Funnies. Now, son, it's your turn.
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00:01:35,910 --> 00:01:39,950
You get to raid the funnies like a big
man. Daddy, I don't really think I...
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What?
20
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I say, I think I... No, in this ear.
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The good one.
22
00:01:46,270 --> 00:01:48,910
You're all so very blessed to be here
today.
23
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:54,330
We're testing our new Earth -friendly
hybrid, made entirely, I'm proud to say,
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00:01:54,450 --> 00:01:56,550
of recycled light bulbs coffee grounds.
25
00:01:56,830 --> 00:01:57,930
and soiled baby diapers.
26
00:01:58,550 --> 00:02:00,250
We'll just save this for the commercial.
27
00:02:00,830 --> 00:02:02,170
You there, get in.
28
00:02:02,430 --> 00:02:03,430
Yeah, yeah, sir.
29
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I'm coming. No.
30
00:02:05,730 --> 00:02:06,730
The healthy one.
31
00:02:07,550 --> 00:02:12,570
No, see, I'm here to just expand my
horizons and everything, and this is
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00:02:12,570 --> 00:02:13,930
your child to work day, right? No.
33
00:02:14,150 --> 00:02:16,810
This is make your child do work day.
34
00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:18,630
Now get in the car.
35
00:02:19,590 --> 00:02:21,230
Hurry up. The Japanese are waiting.
36
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Don't I need some goggles or something?
Goggles is for pussy, son.
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00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:28,480
Please don't be a pussy in front of my
boss.
38
00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:29,800
All right, Denny.
39
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Only... Now watch it explode!
40
00:03:06,860 --> 00:03:08,920
See how he likes the cold press.
41
00:03:19,420 --> 00:03:21,320
How you firing, son?
42
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Fine.
43
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,240
You've had your day.
44
00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:31,760
But I wonder, are your balls to the wall
enough to face down the basketizing
45
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:33,060
smashmaster?
46
00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:35,320
The what now?
47
00:03:35,690 --> 00:03:37,150
The ultimate truck eater.
48
00:03:38,210 --> 00:03:42,670
Defeat the basher -typing Smashmaster
and win an iPod.
49
00:03:42,910 --> 00:03:45,770
But you'll never beat the bad -dating
Smashmaster.
50
00:03:46,090 --> 00:03:47,490
Do you hear me? Never!
51
00:03:47,830 --> 00:03:51,090
Hey, do I get the iPod? I want me an
iPod. What in the hell is it with all
52
00:03:51,090 --> 00:03:53,650
young 'uns always wanting iPods for
every damn thing?
53
00:03:54,530 --> 00:03:58,990
What a sad, sad damn statement this
makes about your generation.
54
00:04:00,010 --> 00:04:02,350
But, Daddy, I've always wanted... The
iPod is mine.
55
00:04:03,590 --> 00:04:04,810
Now, Rusty...
56
00:04:05,020 --> 00:04:11,000
There's a veritable cornucopic plethora
of various, numerous, big number of kill
57
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,740
moves to use on that old smash master.
58
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,760
You got the shield.
59
00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,980
So that's all there is to that? Hold on.
60
00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:20,440
It's coming.
61
00:04:22,580 --> 00:04:23,820
You got your belt, Tyson?
62
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:25,600
Uh -oh.
63
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,760
There's your plundered undercarriage.
64
00:04:30,380 --> 00:04:32,240
The Tender Racer!
65
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,440
Now you don't crush the pelvis mount.
66
00:04:53,280 --> 00:05:00,100
I was a champion crack -up derby
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00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,100
driver in my day.
68
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:03,100
You talk about a creative peak.
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00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:05,680
I was like a fine artist.
70
00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:07,720
My car was my paintbrush.
71
00:05:08,740 --> 00:05:10,780
Save Mark parking lot was my canvas.
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00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,320
And my car was my paintbrush.
73
00:05:14,140 --> 00:05:15,560
13 was my age.
74
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,980
My car, it was my paintbrush.
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00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,360
Industrial lead -based cleaning solvent,
that there was my beverage.
76
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:26,340
And my car... Was your paintbrush.
77
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:32,380
Yes, son, you could say that. All the
names and the moves and... It's just too
78
00:05:32,380 --> 00:05:35,040
much stuff, Daddy. I don't think I can
do it. Son?
79
00:05:35,550 --> 00:05:39,790
If you find yourself overwhelmed,
visualize some things you want to have
80
00:05:39,790 --> 00:05:42,970
in your mind. Then it'll come to be. And
that works? Hell yeah.
81
00:05:43,190 --> 00:05:47,050
Why, just this morning, I was
visualizing having $50 in my hand.
82
00:05:47,530 --> 00:05:51,150
And sure enough, I had that $50 and then
some by noon.
83
00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:56,100
Do you understand me? Also procured some
of them new pork rinds. What's supposed
84
00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:57,520
to have the flavor of hickory chips?
85
00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:02,420
Give me them hickory flavors. I heard
good things about them. Now look here
86
00:06:02,420 --> 00:06:06,840
you will see that the rinds have become
a reality through visualization.
87
00:06:08,780 --> 00:06:13,880
So you're saying now, if I just
visualize it, now I can blow up that
88
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:14,739
my mind?
89
00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:15,740
Try tape eight.
90
00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:16,940
Moving mountains.
91
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,460
Anyone can move mountains.
92
00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:21,120
But first...
93
00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:22,630
You need a mountain mover.
94
00:06:23,090 --> 00:06:24,090
See it.
95
00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:25,350
Believe it.
96
00:06:25,870 --> 00:06:27,410
Now, leave it.
97
00:06:27,710 --> 00:06:31,610
You probably won't ever have it. I do. I
say it.
98
00:06:34,410 --> 00:06:36,570
You didn't say jack.
99
00:06:36,970 --> 00:06:39,190
Success is a journey, not a destination.
100
00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:40,750
Take three, damn it.
101
00:06:42,550 --> 00:06:44,130
What's he going to drive now?
102
00:06:48,850 --> 00:06:49,850
A scooter.
103
00:06:52,970 --> 00:06:57,790
Now, if you want to take them by sea,
make sure and use the boat. Thank you,
104
00:06:57,910 --> 00:06:59,430
useless, wrinkled, flappy bitch.
105
00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:02,530
Just finish the spot weld and shut your
uppity gums.
106
00:07:03,930 --> 00:07:05,330
Spot weld, you see?
107
00:07:07,190 --> 00:07:08,350
Oh, me a bit.
108
00:07:08,650 --> 00:07:15,470
And now, please remove your hats,
shirts, and any other camouflage outdoor
109
00:07:15,470 --> 00:07:20,710
you felt was appropriate to wear in
public for the singing of our national
110
00:07:20,710 --> 00:07:26,510
anthem. as performed by former
heavyweight contender Eric
111
00:07:26,510 --> 00:07:31,890
Butterbean. I dedicate this song to
America.
112
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:40,210
Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early
light what so
113
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:44,890
proudly we hailed at the twilight's last
gleaming
114
00:07:52,810 --> 00:07:54,490
Rampant. We're watching.
115
00:07:54,770 --> 00:07:55,950
Break out the pulverizer.
116
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:59,190
Go find the perfect, the boy.
117
00:07:59,470 --> 00:08:00,530
Assistant suicide.
118
00:08:01,310 --> 00:08:02,310
Blender.
119
00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:04,590
Blender. Blender.
120
00:08:05,290 --> 00:08:06,290
Blender.
121
00:08:06,930 --> 00:08:09,630
You ain't got none. Run.
122
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:24,640
I'm going to take it off for you.
123
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,860
Hey, you got something to say?
124
00:08:37,919 --> 00:08:39,179
Frank Fowle, doctor.
125
00:08:41,299 --> 00:08:46,540
I seem bigger.
126
00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,200
I'm sorry, sir.
127
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:54,579
I'm going to die.
128
00:08:54,580 --> 00:08:55,580
Take him with the boat.
129
00:08:56,160 --> 00:09:00,780
Fistulize him. I'm scared, Daddy. Do it,
Rusty. I'll keep him occupied.
130
00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:07,800
Okay, Daddy. I can see it, Daddy. I can
see it. He's going down.
131
00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:09,100
He's going down.
132
00:09:09,540 --> 00:09:10,540
That's my boy.
133
00:09:10,620 --> 00:09:11,660
Keep your eyes closed.
134
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:12,920
You're doing it.
135
00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,520
Daddy, no. Keep them closed. They're
going to win.
136
00:09:17,980 --> 00:09:19,420
Daddy, how could you?
137
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,820
Rattlesnake had a tie wedding.
138
00:09:23,470 --> 00:09:24,449
My signature.
139
00:09:24,450 --> 00:09:25,450
Move.
140
00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:27,730
Wait a minute, Daddy. I'm doing it.
141
00:09:28,530 --> 00:09:32,290
I'm visualizing it, Daddy. I'm doing it.
Oh, yeah, boy, you're doing it. No.
142
00:09:33,010 --> 00:09:34,370
It's the tongue crank.
143
00:09:36,170 --> 00:09:37,990
No, they won't live.
144
00:09:38,350 --> 00:09:39,350
That's the podcast.
145
00:09:40,850 --> 00:09:41,850
Hi,
146
00:09:42,670 --> 00:09:46,330
could I just take a couple of minutes of
your time? I have a few short
147
00:09:46,330 --> 00:09:49,350
questions. You don't mind, right? You
could win an iPod.
148
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:53,010
Aye, then. Is your household income A?
149
00:09:53,290 --> 00:09:56,610
Zero to $40. B, $41 ,000 to $10 ,000.
150
00:09:56,890 --> 00:10:01,650
Or C, $10 ,000 to unlimited dollars.
Does that count our welfare money and
151
00:10:01,650 --> 00:10:02,650
that? Son,
152
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:05,210
don't talk about our money to the
government.
153
00:10:06,670 --> 00:10:07,670
No comment.
154
00:10:08,490 --> 00:10:11,450
It's probably A. I'm going to go ahead
and say A.
155
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:17,920
Question two, would you use Appalachian
Temptation male body spray, A, once a
156
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:24,880
day, B, three times a day, or C, at all
times, all day, every day, until the end
157
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:25,679
of days?
158
00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:28,340
Don't answer that question. That's
right. Don't tell him a damn thing.
159
00:10:28,780 --> 00:10:34,620
Super. Now, inbred Flotsam, please put
your address and phone number, if you
160
00:10:34,620 --> 00:10:40,280
know how to write, on each card, or the
scary monster will rise up and eat you.
161
00:10:42,780 --> 00:10:45,120
What the hell happened? My death?
162
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:51,380
It appears the entire derby was just a
mass hallucination brought on by a legal
163
00:10:51,380 --> 00:10:54,080
testament of a very dangerous body
spray.
164
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:59,600
We've all been exposed to it, and the
long -term effects are, at this time,
165
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,020
quite unknown.
166
00:11:02,340 --> 00:11:06,260
So who gives to iPod? The iPod was also
part of the hallucination.
167
00:11:14,060 --> 00:11:15,060
Tuesday lunch is a go.
12916
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