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1
00:00:04,900 --> 00:00:08,760
My dreams are all dead and buried.
2
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:14,160
Sometimes I wish the sun would just
explode.
3
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:22,400
When God comes and calls me to his
kingdom, I'll take all your
4
00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:24,780
sons of bitches when I go.
5
00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:26,280
My turn.
6
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,470
Hell no. Hey, man, let me drive that
thing. Come on.
7
00:00:31,690 --> 00:00:32,689
Cut the tram.
8
00:00:37,590 --> 00:00:39,190
Well, lookie there, y 'all.
9
00:00:39,530 --> 00:00:40,530
A blue.
10
00:00:40,690 --> 00:00:44,610
That's a young man. I think they call
that dirigible. It is not dirigible.
11
00:00:44,930 --> 00:00:47,790
But a settlement descended from the
heaven.
12
00:00:49,530 --> 00:00:51,810
Holy mother of God.
13
00:00:52,090 --> 00:00:55,890
Well, boy, Heidi, look at that. It's
kind of stingy. I reckon I'll be calling
14
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:56,890
chicks today.
15
00:01:02,820 --> 00:01:03,820
Hey there, Mr.
16
00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:04,920
Halen.
17
00:01:06,820 --> 00:01:11,800
Look, I hate to be a pain, but I don't
know if you've seen this cloud out here.
18
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,260
It's not a cloud. It's a body spray.
19
00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:20,080
It's called Ice Wind, and it is
exquisite. Oh, I know, but... But what?
20
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:24,860
Well, it's kind of stripping all the
flesh off of the, you know, the bones of
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00:01:24,860 --> 00:01:25,860
the townspeople.
22
00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:28,620
What do you say? That it works better as
a diet spray?
23
00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:32,660
Because that's actually a really good
idea, but we've already printed the
24
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:33,660
labels. Damn it!
25
00:01:36,740 --> 00:01:43,620
Actually, I was hoping that maybe you
could actually just stop.
26
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:47,540
Oh, boy, that'd be really great if you
could do that. No.
27
00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:50,720
We've already printed the labels.
28
00:01:52,660 --> 00:01:58,240
Is this like a revenge thing, or are you
just... mad at me for something. Look,
29
00:01:58,380 --> 00:02:00,960
my male body spray must be tested.
30
00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:02,880
Otherwise, people could be hurt.
31
00:02:03,180 --> 00:02:08,340
Do you want that to happen after the
Super Bowl ad airs? Because if you do, I
32
00:02:08,340 --> 00:02:11,680
suppose we could just... Oh, no, no, no.
Don't do anything on my account. I
33
00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,440
wouldn't want any foes, though. Why
don't you just go arrest it if you care
34
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:15,440
much?
35
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:24,800
What?
36
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:27,290
Look, I've got to be frank here.
37
00:02:27,630 --> 00:02:29,970
I've learned that there's no way to stop
the cloud.
38
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So, I'm going to have to ask you to
maybe not test your body spray
39
00:02:39,690 --> 00:02:43,310
on any more folks, if that's okay with
you. You know, I know you're busy and
40
00:02:43,310 --> 00:02:48,150
that, but you're mad at me now, right?
41
00:02:49,010 --> 00:02:51,350
Who wants to be sheltered? Me! Me!
42
00:02:51,670 --> 00:02:52,670
Me! Me!
43
00:02:52,770 --> 00:02:53,770
Me!
44
00:02:57,050 --> 00:02:59,610
Oh, shut up.
45
00:03:00,130 --> 00:03:01,450
I won't make a change.
46
00:03:09,610 --> 00:03:13,710
You like that? Huh? You like it? Hell, I
know you don't like it. That's why I
47
00:03:13,710 --> 00:03:14,710
like it.
48
00:03:14,770 --> 00:03:17,090
I don't care.
49
00:03:18,730 --> 00:03:24,150
And now I'm on ink all over it. Yeah,
come on over here. Pick it up.
50
00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:26,860
Bank on your hands and raise your fist
to the sky.
51
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,500
Damn that squid, you'll say.
52
00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:29,820
I'll smart it again.
53
00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:37,860
And now we're putting a new one in as
part of our court -mandated punishment.
54
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,140
Hell, yeah. Feast you to the punch, old
man.
55
00:03:40,460 --> 00:03:41,920
Woo -hoo! Whoa, whoa. Hang on, Walt.
56
00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:43,220
Cease the hollering.
57
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:44,940
Something be amiss. Yeah.
58
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,420
The mailbox is out of my jurisdiction
now.
59
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:49,619
Porch is too.
60
00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:54,080
I'm deputy everywhere from this stoop
to, well...
61
00:03:54,670 --> 00:03:57,010
Just this stoop. What the hell you mean,
deputy?
62
00:03:57,390 --> 00:03:59,730
Yeah, I report to this fire ant now.
63
00:04:01,770 --> 00:04:05,730
Dan Halen calls my new city
Unimportantburg.
64
00:04:06,690 --> 00:04:09,230
But I don't think that's the real name
of it.
65
00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:14,170
Does Unimportantburg sell party liquor
on Sundays? Oh, you bet. Sure.
66
00:04:14,450 --> 00:04:15,450
Hell yeah!
67
00:04:15,510 --> 00:04:16,910
If we had stores.
68
00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:19,470
But we don't.
69
00:04:20,190 --> 00:04:21,190
Whatever.
70
00:04:21,510 --> 00:04:23,250
I don't control nothing.
71
00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:25,510
Oh, Lord.
72
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:26,890
Your town sucks.
73
00:04:27,170 --> 00:04:27,769
But, sir.
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00:04:27,770 --> 00:04:29,690
That's Sharif, thank you.
75
00:04:29,910 --> 00:04:32,150
I'm going back to the old pronunciation.
76
00:04:32,550 --> 00:04:33,550
Well, who's running the town?
77
00:04:34,070 --> 00:04:39,730
Good work, Jenny. You've arrested a fish
and your car.
78
00:04:40,090 --> 00:04:42,390
Mm -hmm. Yep. I done it.
79
00:04:42,830 --> 00:04:43,830
Thank you.
80
00:04:45,270 --> 00:04:46,270
Any reason?
81
00:04:46,610 --> 00:04:48,370
Suspicion. Collusion.
82
00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:52,690
That Carl gonna use that white man fast.
83
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,100
Trying to do a robot.
84
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,400
Probably. Jenny, I highly doubt that.
85
00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:02,920
But if that's how you choose to spend
your weekend... I reckon I do.
86
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:04,440
I'm the law.
87
00:05:05,260 --> 00:05:10,500
So I done whittled this so I can get
that piece of corn out of my teeth. It's
88
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:11,439
been bugging me.
89
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:15,160
It's been bugging me for two weeks. Very
impressive. Do you see that cloud
90
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,160
outside?
91
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:17,859
Uh -huh.
92
00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:19,700
Direct traffic into it.
93
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:25,140
Because it doesn't make sense to outlaw
magnifying glasses, and I won't do it.
94
00:05:29,260 --> 00:05:32,740
I told you, I'm not going to wiretap a
piece of watermelon.
95
00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:39,120
I don't give a damn. It's
unconstitutional to fruits everywhere.
96
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:46,260
Well, take the damn piece now, but the
badge stays.
97
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,100
It's embroidered on here, you see.
98
00:05:50,270 --> 00:05:51,270
See?
99
00:05:52,910 --> 00:05:53,910
Uh -oh.
100
00:05:57,310 --> 00:05:58,570
Denny, stop the testing.
101
00:05:58,810 --> 00:05:59,950
This has gone too far.
102
00:06:00,550 --> 00:06:02,910
We're practically giving the product
away at this point.
103
00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:04,390
Hey, y 'all.
104
00:06:05,550 --> 00:06:07,210
I want to put this guy down.
105
00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:13,050
Hey, guys.
106
00:06:14,150 --> 00:06:15,910
Is that you? Oh, yeah.
107
00:06:17,430 --> 00:06:19,170
Looking good, Hollywood.
108
00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:21,240
Yeah. Put on a little muscle mass.
109
00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:25,860
You know, exercising a little, getting
toned up. I like those blonde highlights
110
00:06:25,860 --> 00:06:27,660
and that new tattoo.
111
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:29,680
Yep. Tribal band.
112
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:31,680
Barbed wire over here.
113
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,620
Yeah, the designs have finally reached
Georgia.
114
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:38,480
Yeah, but y 'all knew that. I've covered
this pretty extensively in my blog.
115
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:40,840
Daggum, boy, you got you a blog.
116
00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:47,020
Yeah, Sheriff's Riffs with a Z. I
complain about things, pretend I'm a
117
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:50,460
You know, describe my dreams and stuff.
Hell, I've even posted art.
118
00:06:50,740 --> 00:06:53,540
Did you know I like training for
strongman competitions?
119
00:06:54,140 --> 00:06:56,260
Hell, I didn't either until I blogged
about it.
120
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,440
Tag on, boy. You got you a blog.
121
00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:02,180
Y 'all mind if I pull your house down
the hill where we're seated?
122
00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:05,140
What
123
00:07:05,140 --> 00:07:14,580
brings
124
00:07:14,580 --> 00:07:15,580
you up this way?
125
00:07:15,940 --> 00:07:16,940
You know what, blog?
126
00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:21,100
I recently blogged an entry about how
blogging don't bring you any money or
127
00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:25,240
anything, and how typing each letter
brings me closer to starvation.
128
00:07:25,580 --> 00:07:29,440
So you want to know how we survive with
no food, ambition, or money?
129
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:32,360
Where's all the food?
130
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:36,420
I told you, I'm out. Well, this is where
we get it. Damn it. This is a
131
00:07:36,420 --> 00:07:40,000
conundrum. It's like a multi
-dimensional M .C. Escher print I bought
132
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,160
college. I need food.
133
00:07:41,380 --> 00:07:43,900
Any way you try to climb up, you're
going down.
134
00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:47,680
Second. Hell no, you don't. I told you,
it's mine. Shotgun. No. I caught the
135
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:51,020
bug. I done told you. I get the bug
shield during hard times.
136
00:07:53,220 --> 00:07:56,720
According to my records, don't y 'all
get a check from the state or something?
137
00:07:56,820 --> 00:07:57,559
The state?
138
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,720
Giving out money checks?
139
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:00,440
Cash American?
140
00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:01,760
Fundage and such?
141
00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:05,100
Oh, thank God, asshole.
142
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:17,700
And y 'all just staring to the sun, huh?
143
00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:19,680
Just like this?
144
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,120
Yep.
145
00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:23,060
All day long.
146
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,620
Fits of rage do come and go, but the
sun?
147
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:30,540
Hell, it's here all day.
148
00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:35,600
You see it up there? No, no, I
definitely see it. You can't just see
149
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:36,600
to stare at it.
150
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:38,320
Commit.
151
00:08:42,159 --> 00:08:44,120
And this is all y 'all do, huh?
152
00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:47,540
Oh, sometimes I'll drive a nail into my
arm.
153
00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:50,700
Make sure I still feel emotions.
154
00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:55,080
Some other times I'll drive one into
Rusty's arm.
155
00:08:55,340 --> 00:08:57,640
To make sure I can still feel them, them
emotions.
156
00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,300
Make sure your ass don't get ahead of
me.
157
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,160
I'm a heat -stricken squid.
158
00:09:03,780 --> 00:09:04,780
Look here.
159
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,160
Free clouds.
160
00:09:06,820 --> 00:09:08,500
Free clouds, baby. Is that?
161
00:09:10,090 --> 00:09:10,949
I swim.
162
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:12,470
Get free body spray. No, no.
163
00:09:12,750 --> 00:09:13,870
Get inside, everybody.
164
00:09:14,230 --> 00:09:15,490
Get the hell out of my way.
165
00:09:15,770 --> 00:09:16,770
No, woman, no.
166
00:09:21,970 --> 00:09:25,390
My free body spray. No, Worley, no. She
can't have it all. Get back here.
167
00:09:25,590 --> 00:09:28,590
She's wasting it. No, Worley. Sheriff,
that cloud's coming over here. What are
168
00:09:28,590 --> 00:09:29,590
we going to do, Sheriff?
169
00:09:29,710 --> 00:09:32,410
Sorry. You're on your own. I told you.
170
00:09:32,730 --> 00:09:34,850
I'm retarded. I'm retired, sorry.
171
00:09:35,070 --> 00:09:38,330
Damn it. I didn't even practice that.
But, Sheriff, you're the only one that
172
00:09:38,330 --> 00:09:39,330
save us.
173
00:09:48,939 --> 00:09:52,180
Fetch me some two -ply garbage bags and
a roll of duct tape.
174
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:54,620
I thought of this at the academy.
175
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,360
We call this a hillbilly hazmat suit.
176
00:09:57,820 --> 00:10:02,120
Rusty, tape over my nose and mouth so
none of that noxious gas can get in.
177
00:10:03,780 --> 00:10:05,880
I will attack the cloud from below.
178
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:12,580
I am starting to feel very lightheaded.
179
00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:16,660
I will now stop talking.
180
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:21,800
To preserve what remaining energy I have
to get out of this booth.
181
00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:25,800
Look, Betty, the wind.
182
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,000
It switched directions.
183
00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,400
Crisis averted. Our collective ashes are
saved.
184
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,520
Hey, Daddy, look at that. He's trying to
scratch another dirt.
185
00:10:37,980 --> 00:10:39,200
Oh, two.
186
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:41,460
Oh, two. Zero.
187
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:45,860
Oh, two. Two. Oh, oh, oh.
188
00:10:46,830 --> 00:10:49,670
Oh, you ain't one, too? Hot damn, he's a
Van Halen fan.
189
00:10:49,910 --> 00:10:51,050
Me, too, Sheriff. Hell, yeah.
190
00:10:51,390 --> 00:10:53,190
Van Halen kicks his damn ass.
191
00:10:54,150 --> 00:10:56,830
Russell Donnie, don't say ass on this
here property.
192
00:10:58,090 --> 00:10:59,610
From the mouth of babes.
14661
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