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1
00:00:04,730 --> 00:00:08,850
I gave all my best years to that woman.
2
00:00:10,250 --> 00:00:13,770
All she gave me was masterpiece.
3
00:00:15,430 --> 00:00:19,570
A miracle straight from the launch of
Jesus.
4
00:00:20,810 --> 00:00:24,850
Since Charlie blew off both my
terrapins.
5
00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:31,610
1969, Cameron Bay. Come on.
6
00:00:32,150 --> 00:00:33,150
The tram.
7
00:00:37,490 --> 00:00:40,710
The deepest backwards butt crack of
Georgia.
8
00:00:41,970 --> 00:00:45,850
Pristine and untouched by sexual
perversion.
9
00:00:46,570 --> 00:00:51,170
But today, a horny wolf sniffs at the
hen house.
10
00:00:51,830 --> 00:00:54,110
Hey, anybody home?
11
00:00:54,510 --> 00:00:56,310
Sexy Bay 13, you here?
12
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,200
Oh, you wet yourself.
13
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:05,720
Well, next time you wet yourself, it's
going to be with bubblegum wine coolers.
14
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:06,800
How do you like that?
15
00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:10,020
This man flew across four continents to
be here.
16
00:01:10,260 --> 00:01:13,100
Now watch how he makes himself at home.
17
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:14,660
Did you make these animal crackers?
18
00:01:15,020 --> 00:01:15,919
They're good.
19
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:17,520
I'm a big girl now.
20
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:21,420
I'm going to go ahead and take my pants
off. I'll show you that wrestling move I
21
00:01:21,420 --> 00:01:24,240
was telling you about. I wouldn't mind
seeing that wrestling move.
22
00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:27,890
Where are you going? I just want to ask
you a few questions. I don't do this.
23
00:01:28,370 --> 00:01:32,510
There's no reason to be afraid. I don't
do this, and I... Mind telling me where
24
00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:33,710
your pants are?
25
00:01:34,190 --> 00:01:35,790
Well, where are your pants?
26
00:01:37,490 --> 00:01:38,490
Damn it, tot!
27
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:45,350
Now, in your online chat with
SexyBait13, she told you... I wet
28
00:01:45,350 --> 00:01:51,940
myself. To which you replied... cool
your parents away, she answered, I'm a
29
00:01:51,940 --> 00:01:52,940
girl now.
30
00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:54,120
She said she was 60.
31
00:01:54,620 --> 00:02:00,860
You responded by emailing her an
animated gif of your engorged to
32
00:02:00,860 --> 00:02:01,860
not here right now.
33
00:02:01,900 --> 00:02:03,000
Where are you going?
34
00:02:03,460 --> 00:02:05,480
You can't evade justice.
35
00:02:06,180 --> 00:02:07,480
Oh, no, no.
36
00:02:08,699 --> 00:02:10,000
I see it.
37
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:14,730
You have the right to remain silent on
TV, HD, DVD, minidisc, Blu -ray, CB
38
00:02:14,730 --> 00:02:19,170
radio, and satellite audio throughout
the universe in perpetuity. But I was
39
00:02:19,170 --> 00:02:20,170
here to mentor.
40
00:02:20,230 --> 00:02:25,990
I just wanted to counsel her on the
dangers of being with me and having sex
41
00:02:25,990 --> 00:02:26,990
me.
42
00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:28,650
Well, that sounds like the truth.
43
00:02:29,130 --> 00:02:30,129
Yeah, fine.
44
00:02:30,130 --> 00:02:31,089
Let him go.
45
00:02:31,090 --> 00:02:34,270
You're free to go now. Thank you. We'll
need him for the sequel anyway.
46
00:02:34,510 --> 00:02:35,189
Stay in school!
47
00:02:35,190 --> 00:02:36,190
Stay out of drugs!
48
00:02:36,380 --> 00:02:40,140
Tell your pervert friends where all the
hottest, eager tweens live.
49
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:43,260
You think they'll figure out it's just a
full -string doll?
50
00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:50,440
Please. No deviant mind could ever
resist the sexy, wild Sexy Mate
51
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:51,440
13.
52
00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:53,820
I'm a big girl.
53
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:57,380
No, my plastic -molded temptress.
54
00:02:57,780 --> 00:02:59,860
I gotta come in and check this wild
sheep down.
55
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:03,640
Four. Next on Check This Wild Sheep Down
Four.
56
00:03:04,410 --> 00:03:09,750
Watch as the postman tries to deliver a
package of mail.
57
00:03:10,750 --> 00:03:12,750
Bell, M -A -L -E.
58
00:03:13,570 --> 00:03:16,030
Uh, actually, no package.
59
00:03:16,350 --> 00:03:17,830
Just a couple bills, really.
60
00:03:25,130 --> 00:03:27,370
God! Jump the shark!
61
00:03:29,570 --> 00:03:30,570
Secretary 13?
62
00:03:31,430 --> 00:03:32,670
Chad, you in there?
63
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,080
I'm here, honey.
64
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,980
I baked some muffins like a good boy
should.
65
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:38,480
Are you alone?
66
00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:39,780
It's just me.
67
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:43,660
Because I'd hate to blow it like last
time.
68
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:49,020
Hey, let's put cough drops in our
buttholes and play video games.
69
00:03:49,380 --> 00:03:53,160
Uh, you're still a boy now, right?
70
00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:56,020
Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails.
71
00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:57,440
And moles.
72
00:03:58,220 --> 00:04:00,120
I got a lot of moles.
73
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:01,760
You know what?
74
00:04:02,340 --> 00:04:06,000
I'm gonna go. Wait. It feels dirty.
Wait, hold on. I'm gonna call my wife.
75
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,560
Thank you. Hey, text me, dog.
76
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,040
Hollaback. Don't forget to hollaback.
77
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,980
Oh, this bait reeks of mentholiptic.
78
00:04:14,180 --> 00:04:20,399
It's the long joints for my gout. We
need someone with wiles. I got a
79
00:04:20,399 --> 00:04:25,920
wily case of gout. It's not the same. We
need someone with boyish charm and
80
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,380
cunning. I'll do that.
81
00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,120
Drag her from my sight.
82
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:37,660
I don't think... Shut up and eat your
slits, huh? Hey there, Glenn, where's
83
00:04:37,660 --> 00:04:38,359
boy at?
84
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:44,660
Yeah, we're gonna keep Kyle at an
undisclosed location till all this is
85
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:51,960
Oh, well, that's too... That hurt.
86
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:54,100
And that's your job, Daddy?
87
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:59,300
Glenn and me, we will meet periodically
throughout the day.
88
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,400
Unless I'm buried.
89
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,400
You know, drawing Dale Jr.'s number all
over them post -it notes.
90
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,820
Well, Piper works part of the job.
91
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:20,960
Whitehead, twinkling like stars against
a darkened sky of clogged pores.
92
00:05:22,620 --> 00:05:28,120
Butt -cut hairdo, feathered as the
spread wings of Gabriel himself.
93
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,370
Pewter arrowhead.
94
00:05:31,770 --> 00:05:33,150
Kick -ass, it says.
95
00:05:33,870 --> 00:05:35,830
Kick -ass, it does.
96
00:05:38,370 --> 00:05:40,450
What in the hell are you staring at?
97
00:05:40,690 --> 00:05:45,250
Tell me, Rusty. Are you familiar with
the lifestyles of the ancient Greeks?
98
00:05:45,990 --> 00:05:50,210
Ain't nobody gonna use my son's
temptations for a while for no damn
99
00:05:50,210 --> 00:05:54,210
show. You know that television means TV,
don't you?
100
00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,280
Oh, the TV lucky box.
101
00:05:57,580 --> 00:05:58,700
With the wrestling in there?
102
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:03,280
Well, now, it do make sense when you
think on it. Hell, yeah. But, Eddie, I
103
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:07,080
don't think it's... I'm the thinker. And
I think we got us a deal.
104
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:09,100
Bonifacient!
105
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:18,700
Rusty, radiant in your perfection,
reveal yourself to me.
106
00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:22,420
These shorts are pretty tight.
107
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,540
Kind of riding high, aren't they?
108
00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:28,960
Sometimes, son, to be a man, you got to
be a boy.
109
00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:31,440
Here's your chance, Rusty.
110
00:06:33,140 --> 00:06:35,960
Shine, you stunning boy animal.
111
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:42,360
Hey, sexy babe 13, you in there? Come,
just have fun with it. Monster hat.
112
00:06:42,660 --> 00:06:48,880
Well, come on in now. I'm just oiling up
my tricycle chain here and, you know,
113
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,360
doing some little boy stuff.
114
00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:52,540
Well played, Rusty.
115
00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:54,160
Well played.
116
00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:56,260
I did it sexier.
117
00:06:56,560 --> 00:07:00,240
Now have you some nachos? I'm going in
there to get my choo -choo set. Nachos?
118
00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:02,420
There are no nachos here, but brilliant.
119
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,820
Where are those nachos now?
120
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:06,220
He's drawing him in.
121
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:09,760
Got a new caboose I want you to see.
Where are the nachos? And the betrayal.
122
00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,680
Damn it, I knew this house looked
familiar.
123
00:07:12,940 --> 00:07:14,400
Will I ever find love?
124
00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:19,920
Everyone has a talent, a gift, something
that makes them special.
125
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:24,680
And for Rusty, that special something
was the ability to attract deviant
126
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:25,680
pedophiles.
127
00:07:26,820 --> 00:07:32,660
And so he picked the town's economy up
and carried it on his slender boyish
128
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:33,660
hips.
129
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,400
hard lemonade.
130
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:54,980
Hell, I ain't drinking no hooch from a
sissy city box.
131
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:56,780
This ain't even worth stealing.
132
00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:00,480
Uh, sure. I don't sell them adult goods
no more.
133
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,880
New clientele just don't want them.
134
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:04,480
Well, hell.
135
00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:11,060
Yeah. All right, I guess I'll have me a
teddy bar and one of them mega cookies
136
00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:15,240
and how about some of them candy
handcuffs over there? Okie dokie. Let's
137
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:19,460
here. Let's see what he wants. You want
the Goofy Grape or the Only You
138
00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:20,460
Delicious?
139
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:21,960
I think I went with the money.
140
00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:24,180
Yes, you did.
141
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:25,280
Yes, I did.
142
00:08:35,980 --> 00:08:37,820
You can't escape justice.
143
00:08:38,799 --> 00:08:39,799
Number 43.
144
00:08:40,179 --> 00:08:41,179
Hey, that's me.
145
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:46,920
Please have your shirt unbuttoned before
reaching the house. We have lots of
146
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,460
unsuspecting perverts to humiliate here
today.
147
00:08:49,980 --> 00:08:55,200
I'll tell you, Early, that boy is a real
economic godsend. You see that new
148
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,200
police car of mine?
149
00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:57,920
Google him.
150
00:08:58,060 --> 00:09:02,620
Those Rebs, they're a real virgin ivory,
too. They're from Africa, wherever that
151
00:09:02,620 --> 00:09:06,620
is. I should care, but I'm just so
detached.
152
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,100
Number 44, number 44.
153
00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:16,160
But the economic boom came at a heavy,
heavy cost.
154
00:09:20,490 --> 00:09:21,490
a damn circus peanut?
155
00:09:21,730 --> 00:09:25,790
That ain't no circus peanut. That ain't
no orange coloring. I'm so sorry.
156
00:09:25,990 --> 00:09:28,350
Somebody orange up these circus peanuts.
157
00:09:28,730 --> 00:09:33,150
Rusty, Rusty, Rusty. Pick me, Rusty.
Pick me. Hey, I'm your mama.
158
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,329
Wait your turn.
159
00:09:34,330 --> 00:09:35,350
Hey, hey.
160
00:09:36,090 --> 00:09:39,390
Look, Rusty. A singing plug.
161
00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:42,770
Here we go. Now, hey, everybody.
162
00:09:43,130 --> 00:09:44,410
I'm here to say.
163
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:48,040
That Rusty is a special guy in every
way.
164
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,620
How perfect, Rusty. You adore her now.
165
00:09:52,060 --> 00:09:53,060
Whatever, man.
166
00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:54,740
I deserve that, Rusty.
167
00:09:56,060 --> 00:09:58,380
What are you thinking? Happy birthday or
whatever.
168
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,540
Rusty, Rusty, Rusty, Rusty, pick me.
169
00:10:01,940 --> 00:10:04,920
All right, look here. Now, y 'all is
just going to have to chill for a few
170
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:08,660
hours, you know, because I need me a
radical sabbatical, baby.
171
00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:12,460
Now, I'll come back and y 'all can adore
me then, but right now, I can't.
172
00:10:13,390 --> 00:10:14,390
Yeah, I'm suffering.
173
00:10:16,510 --> 00:10:17,469
Excuse me.
174
00:10:17,470 --> 00:10:22,950
Excuse me. I'm suffering from extreme
exasperation and dehydrogenation. Roxy,
175
00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:24,510
God. Your face.
176
00:10:25,130 --> 00:10:29,830
Heal your upper lip. No, no, no. I'm
changing, see? And I want my fans to
177
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,310
with me as I grow and evolve.
178
00:10:31,870 --> 00:10:36,170
Y 'all go come with me now. All right,
now. Who's with me? Come on now.
179
00:10:43,180 --> 00:10:44,180
Come on, quickly.
180
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:47,180
Eat this paint chip, drink this coffee,
smoke these cigarettes, stunt your
181
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:50,400
grooves. Hey, wait, wait, y 'all. Hey,
now, don't run off.
182
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,600
Hey, you know you won't like it if you
haven't even tried it yet.
183
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:57,260
I'm out of here. Hey, where in the hell
you think you're going?
184
00:10:57,560 --> 00:11:00,060
Wherever my damn fine ass feels like.
185
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:05,240
I hate to see him leave, but I love to
watch him go.
186
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:08,840
Oh, hey, don't pay him no mind. There's
more young 'uns where he come from.
187
00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:10,200
Hey, look at this one here.
188
00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:17,460
Little teapot short and... Oh, it broke
my... Theater trained.
189
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,640
Call in the airstrike.
190
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,320
I want scorched earth. Nothing lives.
191
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:25,740
I have what?
15073
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