All language subtitles for nirvanna_the_band_the_show_s02e05_the_banned

Previously on Nirvana the Band.

The Rivoli is a store on Queen Street. I
know about the Rivoli. What the fuck is

underneath it, man?

I forgot my birthday.

But what does Jay want? What does Jay
want for his birthday?

The show at the Rivoli, Matt! It's my
friend's birthday and I'm trying to book

show for us to play here tonight.

Okay, you're banned?

We're banned?

You're not wearing your hat.

Where's my fucking hat?

It's the get unbanned list.

How to get unbanned.

Three easy steps. One, don't tell Jay.

Simple. Two, in a French Connection
style drug deal.

Get someone, a Gene Hackman -style
character, drop the drugs off at the

Right. Then call the cops. And then we
frame them. Hey, on banners, where are

your alibi?

I just need to find this. Gene Hackman
lookalike or a Gene Hackman guy.

Don't tell Jay.

Filming everything, huh? Things change
around here, right?

Some of the camera stuff. Simple rule.
Nobody in and nobody out. Who's by here?

Who came by here?

Here's another rule.

Footage I don't like goes.

Right? Me dropping the shit, all that
stuff. Full access.

It's everything, right? It's what you
like.

Okay.

Camera right up my ass, eh?

Hot milk!

What? What? We got milk.

What are you doing? You got two glasses
of milk? Are you hiding something?

You're literally hiding something.

What are you hiding? You know what it
is? It's a magnetic force. It's got

buttons, boy.

No, this is nothing. This is a... Get on
band lift?

What do you mean, band lift?

Like the list of bands that play at the
Rivoli.

Right.

Yeah.

So you want to get on the band list. On
the band list.

Tell Jay about the plan.

Oh, yeah. Tell Jay.

Yeah. And then connect to a hack man.

No, they're called hackers.

Not hack man.

There could be hack women. Right. I got
that wrong. I meant hacker.

Good thing I got you around. Hack onto
the band list.

Oh, my God.

That's an amazing idea.

We'll get off the ban list. No, on the
ban list.

We can hack in. We don't have to go
anywhere near it.

I guess that's a good thing, too, yeah.
I mean, we don't have to go anywhere

near it. It's a little more covert.

We hack the Rivoli, get on the ban list.

That's what I'm saying. We get off the
ban list.

No, on the ban list. Exactly.

We frame the Rivoli.

We hack in there to go... Yeah, we are
going to get a hacker.

To hack us into the river. Cheers to the
hacker plan.

Cheers.

To hacker plan! To hacker plan!

You take a big full swig of that.

Hey, hey.

That's homo.

Hey.

Take a breath, man.

You just drink the whole thing?

I thought you were watching your figure.

Are you a hacker? We're looking for a
hacker.

Sorry? Are you a hacker? We're looking
for a hacker. A hacker? Yeah, a computer

hacker. Is that kind of a joke or
something? No. No, we're looking for one

help us. I don't know if you're going to
an internet cafe to find a hacker.

No, I don't think so. Are you a hacker?

Do you know what a hack is? Are you a
hacker? Computer experts?

Do you know anything about hacking? Is
there a hacker here? Well, come on. One

of you guys has to be a hacker. There's
somebody in here. Is anybody a hacker in

here? Sorry, never mind.

Is there a pause button? No, just relax.

We went in there trying to find a

hacker dressed like this.

Exactly. Oh, so this... I'm not dressed
like a hacker. This isn't what

hackers... If we want to find a hacker,
we've got to look the part. How do I

dress like a hacker?

Looks like you're shopping, boy.

Why are we in Kensington?

Hey, dude. Hacker Central of Toronto.

I'm not really seeing what hacker
clothes are. Because you don't know

look, all right? Here, look.

So this is Hacker Central?

I'm just telling Jason, Hacker Central.

Yeah. Oh.

Uh, okay.

This is the spot. Follow me.

Army surplus?

Yeah. Hi, man. How you doing? Sorry.

Oh, I thought you were a mannequin.

Sorry about that.

Yeah. Well, what's going to happen,
Watson, then? You're about to find out

big way!

Magic people! Voodoo people!

Thank you so much.

People are looking at us. Well, dude,
they're not going to be looking once

see, okay, there's the most handsome
hacker on the whole street, will they?

How you doing, man?

What's a hacker look? Really? Yeah,
we're about to be hacking. We're trying

hack ourselves. Should we be telling
people that we're hacking? This is the

place. Nobody cares.

Exactly.

Nobody cares.

Yeah, exactly. Not exactly the right day
to be out hacking.

No, but you know what? I love hackers.
You know why? Because you can find some

serious shit. That's exactly what we're
trying to do. That's what we're going

for. Yeah, because you know what? Media,
don't tell everything. Don't show

everything. You've got to know for
yourself. You've got to find for

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

He said he'd be back?

Oh, like he's coming to get us.

Oh, shit. Okay.

Let's go find this hacker!

It was a rock.

Sorry, kids.

Are we going to Home Hardware? No, we're
getting a computer.

The super system. Hey, when we're in
here, just so we don't get taken, we've

to act like we know what we're talking
about. No problem.

Sorry, sir.

Blades on.

Okay.

What are you talking about, guys?

Excuse me? We're trying to buy a super
system.

Super computer?

Yeah.

Can you help us with that?

Yeah. And we know what we're talking
about, too, so I'll try to... Like,

basically top -of -the -line hacking the
computer.

Budget, parts, whatever.

We're ready to spend.

Are you going for CPU paralyzation,
clock speed?

CPU paralyzation, that sounds right.

I mean, you can look at the Intel server
stuff.

You get ridiculous core counts.

Ridiculous core counts, yeah, that's
right.

How ridiculous are they?

16 core, 32 threads.

28 threads?

It's all hyper -threaded now. It's all
hyper -threaded nowadays.

Bingo. We'll take it.

Actually, hold on. One second.

You got me rolling here, man.

One second.

I'm really rolling.

I think we just found our hacker.

You?

No.

Is what we're doing right now illegal?

Technically.

Well, if it makes you feel any better,
it's just so we can get a show.

Yeah. Okay, let's try it. Password?

Wrong password.

Fuck. How do you normally do this?
Like... Like I said, really?

What you'd normally do?

Actual hacker wouldn't...

There's no real way to hack this.

Clearly. Ned, okay, we need you to help

us with this, okay?

The stakes are, like, insanely high for
us.

Like, you'd need to find some
vulnerability in the Gmail system, and

way you'd find out about that is knowing
somebody works at Gmail, having to

close it, or they haven't fixed it.

Why don't we just, like, use, like,
their computer at the Ripley? Yeah.

Uh, no.

Like, you mean go to the Rivoli? No, we
can't.

Why? Wouldn't that make the most sense
if we go into the Rivoli and maybe they

have, like, a computer there and it's
already, like, logged in or something?

Um... I mean, it's the same idea as
stealing a phone. It's usually a lot

practical than trying to break the
software aside.

Yeah, why don't we just do that? We'll
go into the Rivoli. Go in to the Rivoli.

It's more practical than this.

Okay, so what are we waiting for I could
just go in no no you can't go in But

Ned can I

Have a question. Yeah, how can you want
Ned to go in there? He knows this shit.

He's that he's the guy he's the computer
whiz We're just the band. He doesn't

want the band next to him hacking keep
the band away Keep the band away

You see your idea? You're coming up with
this? Well, I'm seeing it from a

different angle. I'm starting to see it
your way. And I think what you're trying

to say is we stay outside the Rivoli.
Ned goes in. We're in the war van, kind

like what Michael Chip had with
Punisher. And it's got all the screens

earpiece in, and the pen cam. And he
walks right in. We are his eyes and

He gets to the computer. And we delete
this banned list, change the banned

Delete it?

Get our names, get everyone in bed off.
I can't see you, Matt. What I was saying

was, banned list, that's the goal. Yeah.

Spelling to be determined later in terms
of the number of ends. What are you

pitching them right now? I'm not even
really following. Let's try this. Um,

okay, so you're here to fix computer?

Let's go with just yes.

Yeah. Yes.

With confidence.

That was quiet.

Yes. You're fixing the computer. Yes.

Repeating the question, it draws
suspicion.

Yes, exactly. You're agreeing with me
that it draws suspicion or this is the

line? Yes. Hey, are you here to fix the
computer?

Yes.

Yes. Yes is the answer. Yes is the line.

Oh, hey, you just came in by the
computer. Are you here to fix the

Yes. Maybe.

Maybe or yes?

Yes. You got it!

Okay!

What are you doing over there?

Weren't you just sitting... You're on
your phone?

What are you doing?

Well, I got scared there, okay? I didn't
know that you were going to call me up

like that.

Just

don't

mess with it, man. How come I can't hold
on to it? Don't.

Don't. Don't what? I'm just touching it.

You're going to bust it, man. This was
not cheap. Only Ned gets to touch this.

Oh, yeah. Welcome to the battle, band.

Okay, so, Ned, the plan is... Say it a
little louder so I can hear it. Yeah,

yeah, yeah.

Band list.

And we are getting... Band list. We're
on a band.

I want to get on that. Off the band
list.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. And you want to get us off the
band list. Off the band list. No,

on the band list.

On. You want to get on. Exactly.

Right? This is a pen with a camera in
it.

Point the camera at the... Careful,
don't poke him. I'm not poking him. Am I

poking him?

You're good.

You mean good as in you don't mind the
poke or there is no infection?

There is no poke.

Hey,

dude, thank you so much for doing this.

Okay.

Oh, anybody ask? You never heard of
Nirvana the band. You don't know us.

And you... Oh, computer repair guy,
right?

You're a repair guy. There is no
Nirvana.

We got a mobile computer repair guy
here. Matt.

He's going in just to fix a computer
inside.

Shut the fuck up.

What are you doing? No reason to be
worried is what I'm saying.

Of course not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get the
fuck in here.

Later.

Ned,

do you hear us? Yep.

Do you know which one is the Rivoli?

No, we parked right in front of it, man.

No, he's going in there. There he goes.
There he goes.

Oh, my God. He's actually inside it.
This is crazy.

You're doing great, Ned.

Okay, just sit at the bar. Sit at the
bar and look inconspicuous.

Yep.

Okay, Ned, we're getting the bar. We can
see the bar.

Ned, remember, we're looking for a
computer.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe do a little panorama.

Be our eyes here.

Yeah, give us a little 360.

Walk around the... Whoa!

What's that? What's that?

Red bar locked.

Okay, Ned, we're going to need you to
try typing in a password.

Fuck.

Oh, they gave us a hint.

Address. Address.

Address.

334 Queen W. Try that.

Oh, my God. He's in. He's in.

Find a band lift. Band lift. B -A -N -N
-E -D. Hold on a second. No. B -A -N -D.

Yeah, right. Ned, just try B -A -N -N -E
-D and we'll just see. Yes, okay. How

do you spell band? Look at it. But maybe
they spelt it wrong, okay?

Idiot. You're wasting time. Ned, you're
doing great, man.

Do you know how to read?

Do you want to get on the band lift?

That would be spell.

Do you know how to spell? Will you stop
being such an idiot? Look, he spelled it

wrong.

Zero files.

Nothing found.

Fuck. Okay, Ned, we're doing it my way
now, okay? Listen to me. Ned?

Okay, Ned?

Ned?

What are you doing, Ned? No, no, no, no.

What are you doing?

Are you fucking up?

Is that their email?

The Rivoli's email.

Look at all those emails. People are
just leaving their email logged in. I

it all the time.

You're supposed to click log out. That's
the message.

Click log out when you do the... When
you do this stuff. Anything look

important? Okay, get closer to that. Let
us read them.

No, stop moving. No, no, stop. Go back
up to the top. Brittany May. Okay, left

my phone. That's important.

That one from Alex McDonald. Read that.
No, no, do not read that email.

Do not read that email. Do not be aware
of what?

Pretty good.

Did you say a fiction system?

Yes.

Yeah, we have called the theater repair
guy.

Okay, Ned, fuck, you gotta get out of
there now, man.

No, Ned, you gotta get out now!

I gotta go get him.

No, no, no. I gotta go get him. No, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no,

Ned, hold on. Hold on. Now we got cops
on our end. Okay, we're going black for

second. Okay, it's fine. It's going to
be the Ripley, and they're going to be

like, okay, what the fuck, guys? It's
done. I'm just confessing. No, no, no.

We're not confessing shit. I'll tell you
what. Okay, okay, okay.

Oh,

nice work, Dave.

I bet you're getting tortured in there
for the Ripley. You squeal like a

Leave him, Ned.

You brought Ned in.

I'm not taking the fall for Ned. You
said you wanted Ned. You said for Ned. I

wanted... Ice cream sometimes, right?

You want an ice cream?

Ben! Oh, he's alive.

Oh, my God. Get it, get it, get it.

Oh, thank God you're alive. He got it,
and he got a little e -mail, too. What

you mean?

Got an e -mail.

Oh, you printed it.

Do you want me to read it to him?

No, don't, don't, don't, uh, don't, uh.

Oh, let's see it. Read it. Read it out
loud.

Jay, before you read this. Yeah?

No, it's, it's. I love you.

I'm your, I'm your best friend. No, no,
no, no, no, no. Before you read it.

Before you read it.

But wait a second, I don't even know
what I'm expecting.

I do know.

I'm sorry.

I'm ready to face the consequences.

You're about to see. Watch this. He's
going to read it and we're going to see.

It's so funny.

What's going on with this? Just read the
email. What do we get?

All staff, be aware.

Hey, I just got off the phone with a guy
from the city. It seems like they're

doing some sewer maintenance.

He wants to access the tunnels below
through our boiler room. Will anyone be

around tomorrow morning by 10 to let
them in?

That's everything.

Are you printing anything on the back?

Oh, double -sided.

Nope.

It's so funny.

You're about to witness a real admission
of guilt from me.

What did you think?

It's pretty hot in these battle vans.

I'm fine.

You're not hot. No.

You're not sweltering?

You know why? It's because I'm keeping a
big secret.

What?

What did I say?

You said you're keeping a big secret.
No, no, no, no. Yeah, you did.

Did I? Yeah.

Unfortunately, this is the last episode
that we will be doing with Ned.

Um... Yeah.

Normally, the Nirvana the band thing
would be up by now.

Hey, I just got off the phone with the
guy

from the city.

I've seen...

Like they're doing some sewer
maintenance.

He wants to access the tunnels below
through

our boiler room.

Will anyone be around tomorrow morning
by 10 to let them in?

And then we can do a nice big solo.

Tunnels under the Rivoli. What?

Oh, yeah, there's tunnels under the
Rivoli, eh?

Okay,

no, actually, everyone shut up.

One,

two, three.

That's the one.

That's the last.

That's your crusade.

Shut the fuck up. Guys, this is private.
Get out!

Been thinking a lot today.

Been thinking a lot today.