All language subtitles for horrible_histories_s10e07_radical_renaissance

Horrible history.

Horrible Histories presents Radical
Renaissance.

The early Middle Ages in Europe were
called the Dark Ages.

Ancient Greek and Roman teachings on
culture and science from centuries

had been locked and replaced by
fighting.

It's true.

We did kind of forget about all that old
stuff. And we love a crack.

But that's about to change in the
Renaissance.

Italian translator Gerard of Cremona
wants to rediscover that knowledge, and

thinks it can be found in the East.

Do you think it's weird that while we in
the Islamic world looked after all the

ancient Greek and Roman knowledge, the
people who were actually in Greece and

Italy just sort of forgot about it all?

All they do is fight.

Turns out the Islamic scholars took
track of everything. It's all here in

work. They even improved quite a lot of
it.

Now, all we have to do is translate it.

And so, that work begins.

Almost 200 years later, Italian scholar
Petroc continues the job.

I have traveled across Europe.

Piecing together scraps of ancient Roman
writing to help inspire a new era of

culture and creativity.

They'll call it the rebirth of the
ancient world.

Or you could call it something fancy,
like the rebirth, but like in French or

something. Wait.

You mean... The Renaissance.

No, I cannot see that catching on.

Well, give it a chance.

It's an era that inspired great artists
like Leonardo da Vinci.

Now that we have rediscovered the work
of Rome and Greece, then maybe we can

build on it, creating our own ideas, our
own art, plays, and philosophy.

Yeah, but we can't keep fighting, all
right? I mean, fighting is cool.

Oh, sure.

I just had a new idea for something
called a tank.

Believe me, you can kill away more
people with these. Sweet.

An era of mostly creative genius
featuring Da Vinci, Shakespeare,

Raphael, the Medicis, and a whole bunch
of poets.

The Renaissance.

Bringing the dark ages into the light.

Yes, you are right to be excited. It's
me, the artist Michelangelo. Painter,

sculptor, and probably the biggest star
of the Renaissance.

And I am Leonardo da Vinci. I am not
just a great artist, but also an amazing

inventor, which, according to some
people, makes me the greatest

star. What? Who are these some people?

They're the cool people.

You wouldn't know them. Anyway, you've
probably heard of my painting, the Mona

Lisa. Oh, who doesn't like that
enigmatic face?

Am I right? Just one of the masterpieces
by the person some of the people are

calling the greatest star of the
Renaissance.

Yeah, I guess it was okay, but not as
good as painting a whole chapel.

I painted the ceiling of the first
Sistine Chapel. It is a massive

by probably the greatest artist of the
Renaissance.

Me. Oh, a ceiling.

So, in a way, you're more of a kind of
painter -decorator than an artist.

Very funny.

Ah!

That's it! I've had enough!

Stupid villain!

Pop Julius?

Michelangelo. Okay, I'm sensing a vibe.
I was hoping giving you the job of

painting the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel would be fun. You're very good at

painting.

Fun? You think painting the ceiling is a
fun?

Well, I've written a little poem about
just how much of fun I've been having.

I've already grown a goat from this
torch.

Hunched up.

here like a cat in Lombardy. Meow. My
stomach squashed under my chin. My ears

pointing at you. My brain crushed in a
casket. My breath twiddled like

a harpy.

Sorry, what's a harpy? Well, it's kind
of like a woman, but with a bird's body

and wing. It doesn't matter.

My brush.

Above me all the time dribbles paint so
my face makes a fine floor for droppings

because I'm stuck like this.

Oh, but that ceiling looks fantastic.

No.

Anyone shoots badly through a crooked
blowpipe.

My painting is dead.

Defend it for me.

Defend, my honor. I am not in the right
place. I am not a painter.

I don't know about that.

You're certainly more of a painter than
you are a poet, am I right?

Eh?

Oh no, that's very dirty.

You know, the fact that painting the
Sistine Chapel was difficult for you, it

makes me sad. Oh, thank you. I was glad
that I wasn't there to see you struggle.

But seriously.

Being an artist in a renaissance was
pretty challenging. We started using

techniques like perspective again. And
it all really changed how we showed the

world and the human body.

Now, all these changes made our work
much more realistic and detailed than

before. Like my sculpture, the statue of
Dainty. Or my Vitruvian man.

Okay? I have finished my extremely
lifelike painting of you.

Brilliant. I cannot wait to see how.

It's the poo emoji.

Oh, hi, Raphael.

Come on, guys, let's give it some space,
shall we? He's painting a lovely fresco

for me.

I'm Puck Julius II.

This is my palace and you will do what I
say!

Right! Remember, Your Excellency, it's
just a painting.

Every single day.

Come on, let's get you up.

Who built that window there?

Your Excellency, we talked about this
yesterday. It's just a painting. I

it using a technique called perspective.
It tries to copy how people and

buildings look in real life. All of that
is just a painting. All a painting?

That is fascinating, Raphael. Ah, you've
got a bit of the philosopher Aristotle

on your face.

Yeah. Other side.

Oh. Really very simple, Your Holiness.

Perspective is a way of showing the
relative distances of objects and making

flat image look three -dimensional using
mathematical techniques developed by

the Greeks and Romans, which we've
recently rediscovered. You lost me on

OK. You know how people further away
look smaller?

Some people who are further away are
smaller.

I know this bishop from the south of
France. He's tiny.

Yeah, definitely.

But I mean people you can see. Let me
show you.

Ooh, look!

I'm getting smaller as I get further
away.

You see?

Yeah, yeah, you are getting smaller,
like those people there.

Again, that's just a painting.

Yeah, I see.

So, using perspective, we can create the
illusion of things being further

away. Oh, it's an illusion!

You are so clever with that. That's
brilliant.

Your Holiness, do you actually
understand it? Completely.

Great. I'm going to hang out with that
bald guy there. He seems cool.

Say I said hi.

I will.

It's the boat!

Hey, how's it going? Oh!

Boat down!

Hi, I'm William Shakespeare, and during
the late Renaissance period, I wrote my

world -famous plays and poems.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Shall I compare thee to a winter's day?

Shall I compare thee to a plumber I know
called Martin? Probably not.

Stop working. Start again.

So, it wasn't just in Italy that great
artists and writers were at work during

the Renaissance.

But where did I set 15 of my brilliant
plays? Was it A, London, B, Italy,

or C, America?

The answer is B, Italy. Well, I might be
writing in England, but setting plays

in Italy makes them sound extra cool and
exciting.

Now, back to the love poems.

There once was a young woman from Capri.

Who desperately needed a wee.

I know what you're thinking.

It's a gift.

So, the Renaissance was happening all
over the world. And even writers in

England were getting creative.

But the Renaissance wasn't just about
the arts. Some people were becoming very

rich and very powerful.

Which was lucky for us, because one way
of showing off how much money you had

was to commission art.

And in Italy, the super -rich Medici
family were paying us artists for a lot

art. Oh, I like them a lot.

So much a Medici lover in this room. The
Medicis became so rich that they had

their own bank, which isn't like the
kind of bank you might know. In the

Renaissance, Medici bank... You could go
in and borrow much more than just

money. Let me do it. We could do it
together.

No.

I'm really excited to be working at the
Medici family bank, Mr. Giovanni. Oh,

yeah, sure.

Of course, we're much the same as the
dozens of other family banks in

only we're bigger, and we try to find
our clients some of the specialist items

they require.

Is that the Pope?

Your Holiness, how are you today?

Oh, excellent, yes.

Thank you for handling my new tapestry.

It's a bit bigger than I thought.

Should have sent for a cart.

Well, whatever you want, Your Holiness.

After all, he does let us look after his
money and collect his taxes, which

means ka -ching for us Medici's. Wow, I
can't believe that Pope John XXIII is

one of your clients. Yeah, it doesn't
hurt to have customers who are that rich

and powerful.

Where shall I put this box of saint's
toes?

Over there on the shelf between the
fingers and the jars of tears.

OK.

You sell toes and fingers of saints?

Yeah, but they'll cost you an arm and a
leg.

No, you're joking, you're joking. The
arms and legs actually cost much more

that. We provide everything from painted
wooden panels from Antwerp to, oh,

well, choir boys.

Yeah, not now, please, guys.

Wow, banking is really different to what
I was expecting.

Yeah. What's the weirdest thing one of
your clients have asked you to find?

Giraldo. And what does Giraldo do?

Well, blicks the ceiling, mostly.

Yeah, Giraldo's my name for our giraffe.

In fact, someone's coming to pick him up
soon. So grab out his stool.

And then when you're done with that,
maybe you can help with counting the

After all, this is still a bank.

Thank you so much for this opportunity,
Mr Gibbon. Oh, no, no, no.

There you go.

I think you're going to need a bigger
bucket.

Ciao, Mr Meeks. Catherine de' Medici,
daughter of Italy, queen of France, back

with another Medici -Tici mum.

Hashtag just a normal mumma, because I'm
just like you.

Eloise! Be careful with my crown. Today
we are talking about something that all

we mummas struggle with. What to do when
you are worried about your family

keeping its power in European politics.

Eloise! So.

What you have to do is take one of your
kids, a boy or a girl. I'm using my son,

Francis, and my daughter, Elizabeth.

But any prince or princess you have
lying around will do. And you simply

them off to the king or a queen of
another country.

So, you see, Elizabeth has married King
Philip of Spain.

And Francis has married Mary, queen of
Asgard.

And just like that, that's two countries
added to your list of political allies.

Eloise! I don't know why more people
don't marry their kids off to monarchs

political gain. And so join me next time
when here on Medici's peachy mum hack,

I will be showing you how to make a bed
with only three servants to help you.

And when one of them is absolutely
useless.

Be careful, Eloise!

Don't forget to like and subscribe.

Help!

The Pope needs a doctor!

I came as soon as I heard. Tell me,
what's the matter? He's got a very sore

trunk. I'm sorry, did you say the Pope
has a sore trunk? Not me, my elephant.

I'm sorry, I thought I was here to treat
the Pope.

No!

You're here to treat Hanno, my darling
elephant, gifted to me by the King of

Portugal himself.

But I'm a human, Doctor.

Hanno is better than a human. He does
tricks for the people in the Vatican.

Show him, Hanno.

Yes, so good.

Is that it?

No, he also does that. You must save
him, Doctor. He's one of my favourite

exotic pets.

How many exotic pets do you have?

One or two.

Well, if it was a person, I'd test his
urine. So, let's start there.

Yeah, you're going to need a larger jar.

Poor Hanno. I think he's backed up. He
hasn't pooped for days.

Ah, well, I can help there. I'll give
him a laxative, a medicine to help him

poop.

It's one or two pills for people, but
for an elephant... Better safe than

No, Your Holiness, that's too many.
Those laxatives act fast. Oopsie.

Move, move, move!

Will he be okay, Doctor?

Well, the smell will be bad and you'll
need to throw away his clothes, but if

you hold him down, you'll be able to see
his face again.

I meant the elephant.

Oh, I see. Well, he does seem happier.

Better stay up this end, though.

Just in case.

Hey,

Leonardo, I think elephants are really
cool.

You know why?

No, why?

Because they have ear conditioning.

You know,

ear like air, so it's cool.

That elephant joke would be best locked
in a trunk.

That is so good.

During the Renaissance here in Italy,
how you presented yourself was hugely

important. There were even books written
telling you how to behave, like

Cattilione's Book of the Courtier.

One of the things that the book tried to
teach was the art of being amazing at

everything while appearing not to put in
any effort. An effect they called

sprezzatura.

Are you interested in learning the
exciting new Renaissance way of behaving

called... Sprezzatura?

Yeah? Are you prepared to work hard?

Yeah. Do you care how hard people know
you work? Yeah, of course. Then you have

failed the first test of Sprezzatura.

Wait, what just happened?

Walk with me.

Sprezzatura! The art of being an author
while looking like you're making no

effort whatsoever.

What's this?

Nothing. Took me like five minutes.

He's got a sprezzatura.

How long did it really take?

Months. You can hardly feel my hair.

Sprezzatura is the perfect attitude to
have if you want to look good in the

Renaissance. I guess I'll just do this
or something.

Oh. Oh.

Checkmate.

I don't know, I've never really played
before.

He's got... He hasn't. How long did it

really take for you to learn this game?

I haven't slept for four years. I'm so
tired. I may be dreaming right now.

So, are you interested in learning the
exciting new Renaissance way of

I will study your book.

Night and day. And day.

What are you going to tell the people? I
never even opened the book.

I just use it as toilet paper.

Finally, you got Bracatura!

I'm joined by the man of the hour,
legendary Italian Renaissance painter,

Caravaggio. Now, Caro, you're best known
for works like Death of the Virgin and

Bacchus, but today's been all about
tennis.

And what an extraordinary match you just
had with a young Italian called

Renuccio Tomasconi.

Yeah, well, look, I feel like I've been
in a battle all right.

For a win's a win. I've got to give it
to the lads. Thomas Thorny, put up a

great fight, boy. Just wasn't his day
out there on the tennis court.

Look, Cara, we are going to have to talk
about what happened out there today.

What happened?

Are you talking about that rally in the
first set? Look, the ball looked out to

me, but these things happen in the game.

No, no, I'm talking about where you
argued, took out your sword and started

fighting with Thomas Thorny. Look, I'm a
renaissance artist.

Passions always run high with me,
Chrissie.

But at the end of the day, I feel like
we can just... just sit down and have a

drink and shake hands afterwards.

Well, he can't.

He's dead.

Oh, look, it was a close match.

He drew his sword too. Got me with a
good one, actually.

But that's tennis.

We had a bit of a disagreement during
the match. A few harsh words were

So naturally, I just drew my sword and I
killed him. It happens all the time.

But at the end of the day, I'm here to
talk about a great game of tennis and

potentially even a rematch.

Well, maybe not. Well, rematch or not,
there are a couple of soldiers just over

there who'd like to talk to you about
the murder.

So, good luck with that. Oh, cripes. Oi!
Come here, you!

You've got me so old.

Garavaggio was one of the bad boys of
the Italian Renaissance.

Bad boy.

But the good news for him is he's not
remembered for tennis or murder, but for

art. And that's why we're here, guys.

Yes, it's all about the art for us, and
that's good.

Because it's fair to say that we created
a lot of the best stuff.

Like? My Mona Lisa!

Painting brush drop.

I mean, it's good, but what's going on
with her face? Is that a smile or not?

It's a hover smile for the last time.

I'm not surprised. She was probably
furious when she found out it was you

painting her.

People like to be painted in.

I was a brilliant artist.

People, animals.

People holding animals? Were the animals
smiling weirdly too?

Oh!

So, Leonardo, in this painting, I want
to look noble, kind, a little bit regal,

and really, really fit. Well, Cecilia,
it will not be difficult.

You are a sweetie.

No, I mean, it will not be difficult for
me because I'm a genius.

For anyone else, it will be a nightmare
because you possess none of these

features.

Tell me. So, for this painting, I'm
thinking that we get you to hold

to spice it up a little bit.

Oh, nice.

Like what?

What do you think about cow's eyeballs?

Oh, that's disgusting.

Well, good lots of other bits of cow, if
you think they'd be better. What are

all them bits for?

Because I dissect cows, and I dissect
monkeys, birds, frogs, sheep, bears, so

can see how they move, and I can paint
them better. What about monkey time?

holding all them bits, it'll create the
wrong impression.

People think I'm a farmer.

I know.

I'm going to paint you inside of a
sheep, surrounded by its guts.

You what now? I think I could get you
right in there, too. I once inflated a

sheep's guts to the side of a room.

Sorry, it's slippery.

What about a dragon?

Oh, you've got a dragon, have you? Well,
no. I sewed some wings to a lizard so

it looked like a dragon.

But it's escaped.

Oh. Well, I'm not surprised. You're
nasty.

Oh, what about an ermine?

Ermine? What, a stupid long white rat
thing?

How is that better than a dragon? It's
real, and we haven't lost it.

You make a strong agreement.

In any way, it's not a rat. It's like a
small white otter. It's regal, isn't it?

It's also the symbol that you might be
pregnant, so it'll create an air of

scandal and mystery.

I like it. Let's do it. There's just one
problem.

Oh, what's that then? The ermine has
escaped and is presently climbing up my

trouser leg.

It's a wriggly one.

Hi, I'm Henry VIII, King of England and
Royal Renaissance. Cool dude.

Now, a top drawer Renaissance king like
me needs to look the part, so I made the

famous artist Hans Holbein my own
personal court painter. He's painting me

now. Try and keep still, Your Majesty.

You'll keep still when you've got no
head.

Feel free to move around, Your Majesty.

Yeah. Well, I'm in the market for a wife
again, wife number four, and this one

will be a keeper. So tell me, how is
Hans Holbein over there helping me with

search? Is it A, he's painted a picture
of me that's so handsome a dog licked

it? B, he's dressing up as me and going
on blind dates on my behalf?

Or C, he's been travelling Europe
painting all the princesses and

can have a look at all my options?

The answer is C, he's been painting all
the princesses. Yeah, and I've got one

for them here.

No.

Maybe, maybe.

Wow, gorgeous.

We have got a winner.

That's you, Your Majesty.

Huh?

Sadies.

Rugged devil.

Right, well, I guess we'll go with the
Navy, then.

Anne of Cleves, my fourth and final
wife.

Probably.

I mean, that's kind of a weird use of
art, but okay.

Well, that's the Renaissance.

An explosion of ideas and creativity in
everything from science to politics to

money to thinking and, of course, to
art.

People's paintings, drawings and
sculptures became more realistic than

More flamboyant than before.

And in our case, just more brilliant
than before.

To finish with, here is what just might
be our greatest work ever. A song about

how amazing we were.

To use the language of the Renaissance.

It's a proper banger.

Every now and then I try to picture the
art in the dark ages before

changes began.

Nobody was listening to new ideas.

They like things just as they stand.

But studying the classics from Rome and
Greece gave us thoughts we'd not had

before.

An explosion of creation music,
sculpture in the nudie, paintings and

Every day is like a brand new start.

Every day we revolutionize art.

Everybody knows that Florence is the
place salty party types really should

Masaccio Donatello, true artist, created
visions so lifelike that they look

real.

The Medicis have the vonger. The Pope
pays us to bling. The Vatican.

Raphael musters oil.

Botticelli's Venus is careful to cover
all the bombs.

Every day is like a brand new start.

Fighting with our branches to make art.

And now you all can see.

My technique is getting better.

And if our patrons pay their fee.

Our legacy will last forever.

Study anatomy to make the right body.

Because before they looked shoddy
together.

The light and dark make these people
look 3D.

Cause we all have shadows on us. Look at
me.

Oh, look at me.

Perspective gives us depth. Our
backgrounds come alive.

We study nature and old paint brings it
to life.

I really think this will last.

History will remember my art.

No. History will remember my art. Once
upon a time your paintings moved me to

tears. Yours always just.

Made me laugh.

What can we say?

We totally eclipsed the old art.

Sistine Chapel.

The Mona Lisa.

Totally eclipsed the old art.

Statue of David.

Sketch of an helicopter.

Totally eclipsed the old art.

I hope to last not to be longer than
you.

Thanks, animals. Your name?

I don't have one of them yet.

Not useful at all.

Sorry.

What an incredible match you had out
there with young Italian tomahawk.

Ooh!

Ooh!

Ooh! Ooh!

Aha!

Sorry, we were confused with what was
happening out there.

to take my body. Of course, Father.

And boil it to the flesh of me.

Dear Larry and Deece, imagine what it
feels like to be going on a date with a

god.

That's too long. I've got the phone.

It's hard for us to be promoted.

We, we, we, we, we, we.

This is no longer our mystery.

Hope you enjoyed Horrible History.