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past is no longer a mystery, welcome
to...

Horrible Histories Horrible Histories
presents

Gorgeous George III King

George III most famous for the thing he
gave away While ruling he

let go of what became the USA

For sixty years we sang God Save the
King to George III and said long to

reign over us. He took us at our word.

King George III, also well known for
eccentricity, he called

his pillow Octavius, once shook hands
with a tree, held meetings with dead

ministers. It all sounds so absurd.

There's much more to tell you of the
life of George III.

King George III was the grandson of
George II and the great -grandson of

I and became the third Hanoverian king
in 1760 when he was just 22 years

old. It was a time of revolution around
the world, so the monarchy wasn't always

very popular.

Not that young George III really
noticed.

Isn't it wonderful how all the people
know who I am? Now, do take care, sir.

everyone likes you.

Nonsense. Oi, George.

Oh, dear.

They don't seem to like you much, do
they?

I think it was meant for you, sir. Oh, a
gift. Wonderful.

Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

Another beautiful day for a ride, eh?

Hello, hello, yes, it's me.

Recognize me from the coins?

Jog on.

Yes. Your Majesty, you must be careful
now you are king.

Everyone can see you. But my people,
they do love me, do they not?

See how they shower me with gifts. And
thank you for catching that with your

face.

A petition for the king.

A petition?

Be careful, sir. It may be a trick.

Trick?

Oh, what, to get my autograph, you mean?

Oh, don't be shy, sweetheart.

Everyone loves the king.

Oh, look.

A blunt butter knife. What a lovely
present.

Leave that with my man -servant, would
you?

Right. Don't break your hands off me!

You must stop provoking my fans, John.

Don't think much of this play.

The actors are tiny.

Aha!

Oh, look, sir. A man with a gun. At
last, this play's getting exciting.

Oh, no.

How terribly realistic.

Right, exciting bit's over. Time for a
snooze.

It's true. Over 40 years, people really
did try to assassinate George four

times. Although it's not quite true that
the same servant got hit every time.

One lady tried to stab George with a
blunt knife. And when someone tried to

shoot him at the theatre, he really did
fall asleep afterwards.

That must have been one boring play.

He should have gone to see this next
real -life Georgian attraction, which

the nation by storm.

It's the must -see show of 1743.

I've never seen anything like it.
Amazing.

Massive. Wrinkly. Wrinkly, yes.

Clara the Rhino.

Discovered in India. Hit in Holland.

Massive in Germany.

We never saw anything like it. So
original.

We had seen all the animals in Germany.

Cats, dogs,

squirrels. The badgers. Bears.

Used to quite like bears.

That got so over now.

John Rhino with a horse.

In her specially built luxury tour cart,
Clara the Rhino will visit major cities

all over Europe.

Strasbourg, Stuttgart, Nuremberg,
Amsbach, wherever that is, and London.

I got an autograph.

You didn't. I did. You didn't. I did.
May I? Take home a full range of

merchandise. We've got woodcuts,
engravings, commemorative prints.

Porcelain, clocks and boxes. Plus, take
home a piece of Clara. Not literally,

your very own commemorative horn.

It's awesome!

Look at me, I'm a rhino!

Rhino on tour.

Rhinoceros, rhinoceros.

Despite his eccentric behaviour, George
III was actually a very simple man with

very ordinary tastes. In fact... At
times he could be so dull it was his

who were driven crazy. With boredom.

I

have

grown a turnip as large as my head. Who
should like to see it?

How about watching me make some buttons?

Who should like to see me dismantle a
clock and then put it back together

Right, I'm going to the theatre.

Mother, I require a thousand pounds. But
we gave you a thousand pounds only

yesterday. Give, give, give.

Frederick, William, would you like to
come and help me waste this money?

Yes, please.

Or you could stay here and we could
discuss, I don't know, crop rotation.

Favourite sweet princesses.

At least you're still here with me
forever and ever.

Who should like to see my fingernail
through a microscope?

Right, that's it. I'm getting married to
the Duke of Wurttemberg. But he's

nearly seven feet tall and weighs the
same as a cow.

And smells like one too.

Anything's better than things.

Right, I'm getting married as well. I
don't even care who to.

You can't...

Can't you see? You're tearing us apart
with your relentlessly boring niceness.

Wait. I'll show you something exciting.

A seed potato.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

Good day. I'm King George III.

Sometimes my children find me rather
boring, despite the fact I love talking

about farming techniques and different
types of buttons. I ask you. So can you

guess what they nicknamed our home,
Windsor Castle?

Was it A, the prison, B, the nunnery, or
C,

the silent house?

Yes, the answer is B. They call it the
nunnery, where nuns live.

No wonder they're all trying to get
married and live far away from me.

Can I interest you in a button?

No button?

No button?

I'm awake.

Whilst George was busy being boring at
home, across the globe the British

was anything but. It's expanded as far
away as places like India, from where we

got cotton, tea, spices, and even some
of their words, too.

Words we get?

From India.

Good.

Avatar. Hullabaloo.

Yoga. Tulali.

Sure. Baloo.

Mother.

Kashmir. Kashmir.

Parker.

Thud!

Nirvana.

Under George III, the British Empire got
bigger and bigger. He was even ruler of

America. Yee -haw! Until they rebelled
against him.

Yee -haw! Ouch!

Hello, I'm Geoff Reason, and welcome to
Battles of the Day. Coming live from the

18th century, it's the Patriots versus
the Loyalists in the American

And with one eye on tactics and the
other on a rising body count, it's Jamie

Cattle. Now, Jamie, the American
patriots are up against a powerful enemy

British loyalists. But aren't the
Americans officially British too?

They're still owned by the British at
this point, Geoff, but the government

been hitting them with some outrageous
taxes.

They can't even buy a decent cup of tea
without being taxed. Well, let's hear

from a man who loves paying taxes, the
King of England, George III.

I make a great effort to get along with
all my subjects, but...

These Americans, they're unhappy,
they're misled, and they're deluded.

Basically, they're idiots.

Right. I mean, you haven't even been to
America, though, have you?

What's your point?

We've got breaking transfer news from
1775.

After previously fighting for the
British in the Seven Years' War, George

Washington has controversially joined
the American Patriots. Jamie. It's a

-profile sign -in by the Patriots,
Geoff.

Washington's experience could be
invaluable.

George, the British loyalists have got a
professional army, whereas your army is

mostly made up of farmers with rakes and
pitchforks. Surely you can't win.

It's true, most of my men are frightened
farmers who don't know a gun from a

garden rake.

But we've no choice.

It's either the tyrannical rule of the
British or revolution.

That's why I have therefore resolved to
conquer or die.

Woo -hoo! Yeah!

Oh, my gun don't work and...

I do not know this man.

Farmers against soldiers, Jamie.

It's men against boys, Geoff. No, it's
definitely farmers against soldiers.

We've got another big battle at Saratoga
in 1777.

A shock win for the plucky patriots,
Geoff. Wow, a victory like that is sure

attract some cash from abroad.

They won't win the war without it.

Mr. Frenchman, why are you helping
America?

Ah, because we believe passionately in
the dream of a free and independent

America. That's right.

No, I'm just kidding. We just really
hate the English.

Thank you very much. Well, cheers.

Woo -hoo, yeah!

No, no, you're not French.

Jamie, a bad day for the Brits. They may
have lost America, but they've still

got Canada, so, yeah.

The loss of America was a real blow to
George III, but back in Britain, life

under his reign saw some huge changes in
the way people lived.

But from the doctors to the dinner
table, the Georgians still behaved in

pretty strange way.

Ah, a beast fit for a king.

Funny that, because... Yes, all my
favourite foods. You can't beat boiled

and a muffin.

Hold on, we sit down in order of
importance.

So, Papa sits down first, because he's a
bite -out.

Actually, I'm a duke.

I'm more important than a Viscount.

Oh, cow's heels.

Delicious and cheap. You can't beat feet
meat.

Oh, yes. So it's the Duke, the Viscount,
then me. No, no, no.

Then it's me.

But I'm the eldest sister. Come on,
everyone. Tuck in.

This lemonade's my own recipe. Yes, but
I'm married to an Isle now, so I take

precedence over you.

Fine. So it's the Duke.

Then me, then you.

Is it just me, or the taste of onions?

Huh? No, it is just me.

All right.

Feed me.

I'm an earl, and you're my wife.

So we're more important than a Viscount.

Yes,

right. So it's the Duke, the Earl, the
Earl's wife, the Viscount, and then me.

A message, Your Highness.

Exciting news! My second favourite cow
has just had a baby cow.

Wait, why is everyone eating so fast?

Sorry, I forgot to mention, when the
king finishes eating, they take our

away.

Lemonade. Onion?

No, no, it's too bad.

Ah,

it's little Carver, isn't it? Yes. Is Dr
Hannity not available?

No, he's hurt his back sunbathing. But
I'm his locum, Dr Barrington Marmaduke

from the Georgian era.

Barrington? Yes, it was long for Barry.

But, you know, I'm a fully qualified
Georgian doctor, so don't worry about

Sorry, Georgian. Now, what seems to be
the problem?

Why is he wearing that on his head?

Shush. It's his acne, Doctor.

Have you tried drinking seawater?

No, of course I haven't tried drinking
seawater. Would that help?

Oh, well, we Georgian doctors believe
that a dose of brine will cure most

ailments. I'm not drinking seawater. No,
no, no, no, not just seawater. No, no,

that would be silly. You have to mix it
with milk and tartar sauce.

OK, I'm going.

Wait, wait a minute, wait a minute. I do
have another efficacious remedy for bad

skin. What's in that? Butter. Right.

Sugar. Lovely.

Gold leaf.

Ooh. Snail shells.

Great. And wine.

Well, I suppose.

Oh, and a puppy.

A what now? Just a dead puppy.

Boiled. Don't worry, I took all the
intestines out as recommended. I'm not

idiot.

I'm so sorry he's not learnt to
automatically trust everything doctors

Waste not, want not.

Now, my wonderful

subjects agree that I am rather
splendid, so they name lots of exciting

discoveries in my honour.

Lemon's up!

But which of these discoveries was
originally given my name? Was it... A, a

planet, B, a species of monkey, or C, a
type of mechanical clock?

The answer is A, a planet.

My favourite astronomer, William
Herschel, named a newly discovered

George's Star, though those pesky
Germans are calling it Uranus.

It won't stick.

Here's the thing, I'm the king. I have
ministers of millions, millions. Well, a

few, so let me tell you about my...
Court life.

Most days I'm awake by 5am. I love
court. I'm a dull man who likes dull

Boiled eggs, toast, plates.

Fork night.

Then it's off to prayer.

I love praying.

Like clocks too, but not as much as I
like God. And believe in the... Neck

Happy to spend hours in ice -cold
churches. Not sold on all this court

Frankly calmer as a dairy farmer.

Wall the courtiers.

Nobles, sons and daughters We all bow
hand in hand

Bending backs in my court life

Did

I tell you I like

clocks? I don't like loud knocks on the
door. It enrages my sense of enormous

well -being.

Quiet, lads!

I don't ask much of my pages.

Just no coughing, spitting, sneezing, or
moving.

Oh,

and don't come between me and the door,
else you're stuck here until Neil the

Queen decides to leave.

And when you enter the room, walk slowly
backwards towards the wall.

Careful now.

know what one means quite a mover but
george iii certainly was an odd fellow

and as he got older his behavior became
more and more strange and rather than

spend lots of money living a life of
great extravagance like other kings it

farming that became his great hobby

This week on Historical Country File,
we've come to the beautiful Georgian era

to talk to a genuine Georgian farmer.

So, farming.

Hello! Oh, Your Majesty.

Oh, please call me Farmer George.
Everyone else does, don't they?

I'm always popping in unannounced to
help out on the royal farm. Ooh!

Have you met the Prussian ambassador?

Sorry?

Tall chap over there. Green hair.

Not a lot to say for himself.

Sure. Interesting times to be a farmer.

Oh, absolutely.

All change.

More crop rotation, more selective
breeding. It's a real agricultural

revolution. We could talk about it for
hours. And I often do.

Or... Mind you.

I learnt everything I know from Ralph
Robinson in the Annals of Agriculture.

Oh, Ralph Robinson.

Yes, he's a genius.

Yeah, I can't see anything by him in
here. What?

I don't believe it. They haven't
published my letter. Your letter? I

Robinson's letter. That's it.

I'll have to write to them again. I
mean...

Write to them for the very first time
because I've never written to them

pretending to be someone called Ralph
Robinson. And ask them why they haven't

published my top tips on crop rotation.
I mean... Ralph Robinson's top tips on

crop rotation because you see, I am not
him.

You've been writing into the newspapers
about agriculture using a made -up name.

No.

Honestly. What does a king have to do to
get some respect around here?

Did

you

know the name George is ancient Greek
for farmer? How appropriate!

George III may have lived quite a plain
life, but there was nothing plain about

Georgian fashion.

especially for the men.

I'm Patrick.

This is Heidi.

And welcome to Historical Catwalk.

Today, wow, we've got fashionistas from
the reign of King George.

I'm talking Jules, Wig, Frills. And
that's just the men.

Go, boyfriend!

First up, it's Villia, the macaroni. Is
this like the best outfit ever?

Well, have we wandered into a circus by
mistake?

William, you are everything that is best
about the macaroni style.

Bright colors, frills, lace, powder,
food, both.

You look a bit like a wedding cake.

Oh, yeah.

And you've got a mouth full of cork
balls to hide the fact that you've lost

lot of teeth.

Well, if it wasn't for the insects
attracted to the flower in your wig, you

would be perfection.

You are so wow, Liam.

God, I wish I'd thought of that.

Let's meet our next contestant.

Charles is a dandy.

Yeah, the dandelicious reaction to the
crazy powder clowns of the macaronis.

Charles, you have the look perfectly.

I should think so.

It took me ten hours to get ready.
Normally it takes five, but I didn't

color of my handkerchief, so I had to
start again.

Even King George III said the Prince of
Regent is following the dandy fashion.

Yeah, but there can't be only one
winner.

The man with the perfect green
handkerchief.

Green? It's...

This is a disaster.

I shall have to start again. I'll be
back in five hours.

Well, he's gone, so has the clown
things.

The insects from William's dig have
migrated.

See you next time.

All that fuss about a few fleas in their
clothes.

You should see my pants.

Actually, no, you shouldn't.

George III's behaviour became so
unpredictable that in the end his son,

Prince Regent, was put in charge.

Thankfully, he wasn't mad.

No, but he was very, very bad.

I'm here at a celebration of the life of
our much -loved King George III.

Now, thousands of people have turned out
to show their appreciation for the

king. I'm a kangaroo!

Hang on, this isn't meant to be a
celebration of my dad.

This is meant to be a celebration of me
becoming Prince Regent.

Yeah, like that's something to
celebrate.

In other royal news, ceremonial and
official royal duties have been passed

the king to the scandalous waste of
space that is his son.

You just call me a waste of space.

Today, King George spent many happy
hours touring his bedroom, buttoning and

unbuttoning his waistcoat.

Floppy, floppy!

He's such a character.

Excuse me.

It's just a shame his son insists on
hanging around like a bad stink.

Cold. Haven't you got some scandal to be
getting up to, as usual?

You can't open the paper without reading
about you and your siblings

embarrassing yourselves.

The king's doing his best. His best?

He lost us America.

Yeah, well, if he'd had a bit more
support from his kids, maybe he wouldn't

have.

That's a good point, actually.

Do you realise we talked for 57 hours
solid over Christmas?

58? Sorry, 58.

Well, he obviously had a lot to get off
his chest.

Look, I'm Prince Regent now. Shh.

But I... But I... I've got... God save
our gracious... Shh.

Listen to me!

Somebody has to take charge. My father
has behaved completely erratically. Yes.

And he's ill.

What's your excuse?

You think she'll be bad now?

Later. We'll be talking to Christian VII
of Denmark, who slaps diplomats in the

face, challenges random people to
fights, and throws things off his

the street. And he's still better
behaved than the Prince Regent.

Harsh.

Kangaroos must get so tired.

That's all from me. Back to the studio.

So, George III lived to the ripe old age
of 81 and passed the crown on to his

son, the Prince Regent, who became
George IV.

At the time of Georgie III's death, he
was the longest reigning monarch in

British history.

Cracking innings, old chap!

Chatty death, chatty death, my grisly
interviews.

Chatty death, chatty death, the dead and
famous too.

She said, I've been dying to meet you. I
said, you're not the only one, love.

What?

Oh, welcome back.

Time for my next guest, former king of
Great Britain and Ireland, George III.

Kangaroo.

Thank you.

Thank you very much. Hello, hello,
hello.

You look a bit familiar.

We met before.

Well, of course I'm familiar. I'm the
king.

And very handsome you are, too.

Likewise. You have very thoughtful eyes.

So, Georgie, Georgie boy, how would you
like to be remembered?

Well, I did a lot.

I reigned for 60 years.

I was a good family man, had 15
children, you know.

And I had a great respect for learning.
I started a royal collection of

thousands of books.

Oh, yes, and you had a great collection
of clocks, didn't you? Yes, I did.

Tick -tock, tick -tock.

Loved them. And I had my own
astronomical observatory. Yeah, yeah,

good, very good. What a great guy. Do
you want to tell him, or shall I?

No, I'll tell him. It's my show.

Beg your pardon? Tell me what? Well,
it's a shame the only thing anyone

remembers you for is that you were mad!

No!

Sorry, mate. That's not fair. It was an
illness. You can get just like any other

illness. I mean, everyone gets ill
sometimes, don't they?

Yeah. Only last week I had a terrible
cough. I couldn't stop coughing and

puffing.

Puffing! Puffing as in puffing, get it?

No. That one tickled your funny bone,
didn't it?

I can tell!

It's just that my illness just happened
to make me do slightly weird things,

that's all.

Tell you what, I'll grant you a final
wish. Oh, goody. As long as it's being

catapulted backwards in a chair into a
portal which takes you to the afterlife.

I think he was a few tombstones short of
a graveyard, don't you?

But then aren't we all?

Not me, though, eh?

Guys, not me, though.

Guys?

Charming. Chatty death, chatty death.
Hope next time it's not you.

It's fresh.

It's fresh.

My father has been here.

Okay. The past is no longer a mystery.

Hope you enjoy Horrible History.