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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,480 Horrible Histories 2 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:42,560 Horrible Histories presents Crooked King John and Magna Carta 3 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:49,440 You don't hear many nice things said about King John the Third 4 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:55,360 Some people would go further and proclaim him as the worst For John was 5 00:00:55,360 --> 00:01:00,660 much -loved king, in France he lost a war Annoyed the Pope, but then gave in 6 00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:06,200 lost to France once more He lived a life of luxury, that's what his tax was for. 7 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:10,120 And when he spent their income fee, he taxed his barons more. 8 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:14,480 So why is King John's reign defined as a most special thing? 9 00:01:15,020 --> 00:01:18,760 Because the Magna Carta shined when he was England's king. 10 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:26,220 King John, the story of a family at war and a future king born in the shadow of 11 00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,240 his older brother, Richard the Lionheart. 12 00:01:29,020 --> 00:01:30,280 You'll never be king. 13 00:01:30,660 --> 00:01:31,980 You'll never be king. 14 00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:33,320 No, please. 15 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:39,020 Ridiculed by his father. 16 00:01:39,380 --> 00:01:42,480 Maybe we should call you John Lackland. Get it? 17 00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:44,960 Lackland. Because you lack land. 18 00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:47,800 So it is funny, Dad. 19 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:51,840 A story of power and betrayal. 20 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:56,360 It might be a runty little piece of cake, but at least... 21 00:01:56,780 --> 00:01:59,300 He would not turn on his own father. 22 00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:02,880 Yeah, the thing is, Dad, I'm sort of sliding with the French and rebelling 23 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:03,880 against you. 24 00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:06,580 John, what have you done? 25 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,100 Mom, Dad's dead. Can I be king? 26 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,360 No, it's your brother Richard, George. 27 00:02:13,580 --> 00:02:14,580 How unfair! 28 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:22,020 A boy desperate to be king, but thwarted by his elder brother. 29 00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:25,660 I gave him land in France on the condition that he stayed out of England 30 00:02:25,660 --> 00:02:26,660 I'm on crusade. 31 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,000 God willed it. 32 00:02:28,220 --> 00:02:29,660 God willed it. And did he? 33 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:30,900 No. 34 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,840 Sneaked back into England and started a full -scale rebellion. 35 00:02:34,300 --> 00:02:38,900 Two brothers at war, but stuck with each other in more ways than one. 36 00:02:39,220 --> 00:02:41,820 He's a cheating, scheming, spineless idiot. 37 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:45,380 Oui, but he is our cheating, scheming, spineless idiot. 38 00:02:45,860 --> 00:02:46,860 Where is he? 39 00:02:46,980 --> 00:02:47,980 Now. Hmm? 40 00:02:49,070 --> 00:02:51,730 I'm really sorry, Richard. It won't happen again. I'll do anything. 41 00:02:52,110 --> 00:02:53,810 So lucky he'll never be king. 42 00:02:57,030 --> 00:03:00,970 King John, coming to a stream near you now. 43 00:03:03,690 --> 00:03:07,730 With Richard, King John couldn't win no matter how he tried. 44 00:03:08,070 --> 00:03:13,710 But then some good luck came John's way. Brave Richard sadly died. A crisis of 45 00:03:13,710 --> 00:03:16,550 succession bruised the barons must choose who. 46 00:03:16,770 --> 00:03:20,830 A 12 -year -old with French support or John, they said. He'll do. 47 00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:27,710 You join us here at Westminster Avenue, 1199. Yes, he finally made it. It's the 48 00:03:27,710 --> 00:03:32,130 long -awaited coronation of King John. An occasion of true dignity and 49 00:03:32,130 --> 00:03:38,770 solemnity. And as the Archbishop of Canterbury approaches, John appears to 50 00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:41,530 taking off his tunic and his undergarments. 51 00:03:41,750 --> 00:03:43,950 Sorry, can I just check something? Am I in the right place? 52 00:03:44,670 --> 00:03:45,670 Coronation of King John. 53 00:03:46,070 --> 00:03:48,190 It's just that he's getting almost completely naked. 54 00:03:49,450 --> 00:03:50,710 They always did that. 55 00:03:51,070 --> 00:03:52,250 Okay. Weird. 56 00:03:52,890 --> 00:03:56,930 The new king emerges in some sort of nappy. 57 00:03:58,350 --> 00:04:00,690 But doesn't he look magnificent? 58 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:02,740 as he finally dons the crown. 59 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:06,180 And, oh, the struggle's a bit big. 60 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,100 To be fair, it's made of solid gold. 61 00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:12,160 And it's been a long day for everyone. 62 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:16,860 Yet, King John, the man who will shape the nation. 63 00:04:18,019 --> 00:04:19,459 As soon as he gets up. 64 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:20,880 Get me out of here. 65 00:04:21,580 --> 00:04:25,760 Yes, when Richard the Lionheart died, John finally got his heart's desire and 66 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:26,760 became king. 67 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:30,740 He immediately started travelling around the country, doing what he did best, 68 00:04:30,860 --> 00:04:32,780 being a right royal pain in the neck. 69 00:04:35,810 --> 00:04:39,950 Hi, I'm King John. I'm an itinerant monarch. That means I travel around the 70 00:04:39,950 --> 00:04:43,170 country, ruling from wherever I happen to be at the time. Being on the road 71 00:04:43,170 --> 00:04:47,110 means I've had to learn to survive in some pretty extreme circumstances. 72 00:04:47,490 --> 00:04:51,270 And I'm going to show you how. Here are the basics for extreme survival. 73 00:04:51,550 --> 00:04:53,250 Extreme survival tip one. 74 00:04:53,930 --> 00:04:57,430 Shelter. You're out in the wilds of England. Miles from home, you need 75 00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:59,310 to sleep. Look around you. 76 00:04:59,770 --> 00:05:04,030 What do you see? Moss, leaves, grass, nature's sheets and blankets. 77 00:05:04,290 --> 00:05:08,030 What I like to use is actual sheets and blankets. That's why when I'm 78 00:05:08,030 --> 00:05:11,210 travelling, I bring loads of servants with me to carry all my bedding. 79 00:05:11,510 --> 00:05:13,250 And my bed! But wait. 80 00:05:13,790 --> 00:05:14,790 What if it rains? 81 00:05:14,990 --> 00:05:16,670 Look around you. What do you see? 82 00:05:17,090 --> 00:05:20,650 Trees and bushes can provide an effective shield against the elements. 83 00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:24,890 But what I like to do is send the soldiers I've brought with me to take 84 00:05:24,890 --> 00:05:25,890 nearest castle. 85 00:05:27,510 --> 00:05:28,690 Then I can sleep there. 86 00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:30,480 That's extreme survival. 87 00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:34,680 You're going to need to bring that. 88 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,440 Extreme survival tip two. 89 00:05:38,780 --> 00:05:39,780 Health. 90 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:44,000 Keeping clean out in the wild can be tough, especially when, like me, you're 91 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,780 used to having a bath nearly twice a month. 92 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:49,500 But where are you going to find a bath out here on the open road? Look around 93 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:51,120 you. What do you see? 94 00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:52,740 Fresh running water. 95 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,300 It's nature's bathtub. 96 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,220 But this is my actual bathtub. 97 00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,640 It's much nicer and it goes everywhere I go. 98 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:01,100 My toilet comes too. 99 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:07,740 Next week on King John's Survival Tips, travelling abroad and how to avoid 100 00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:11,320 seasickness with nothing but two servants to hold your head still. I'm 101 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,840 go. I'm going to be sick. 102 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,460 I'm going. 103 00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:21,140 When John was a young man busy annoying people, over the other side of the 104 00:06:21,140 --> 00:06:25,560 world, knights and soldiers were busy killing people in the Crusades. 105 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,820 fighting over who owned the Holy Land. 106 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:33,000 But Saladin, the leader of the Muslim forces, was a clever, well -respected 107 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,820 ruler and a great warrior. 108 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,100 So, nothing like John then. 109 00:06:37,860 --> 00:06:42,360 The Crusaders are headed for Jerusalem, but we can deal with them here by the 110 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,360 horns of Hattin. 111 00:06:43,420 --> 00:06:44,420 Kill them! 112 00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:45,460 Kill them all! 113 00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:49,240 Patience, my friends. We must be cleverer than that. 114 00:06:49,690 --> 00:06:54,130 We can attack them in a different way. We're in a desert. So ask yourself, what 115 00:06:54,130 --> 00:06:55,290 do they need? A good kicking. 116 00:06:55,710 --> 00:07:01,050 No, no, no. A sword through their skulls. Kill them all. No, no, no, no, 117 00:07:01,770 --> 00:07:07,130 Think about it. Think about it. What must they do every day in the desert? 118 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:16,760 No, no, no, not that. Put it this way. What must we all do? What must we all do 119 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,840 every day to survive? 120 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:21,659 Go toilet? 121 00:07:21,660 --> 00:07:24,800 Other end. Other end. Brush their teeth. What is this? What is this? 122 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,040 Water! 123 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,640 Water! Water! 124 00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:31,620 I totally drink water every day. So, what must we do? 125 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:35,600 Kill him! 126 00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:37,720 No, no, no. Go back. 127 00:07:37,950 --> 00:07:40,110 To the water. Think water. Drown them. 128 00:07:40,330 --> 00:07:41,330 Drown them all. 129 00:07:41,430 --> 00:07:45,130 How am I supposed to drown them? In the paddling pool I keep on my camel? 130 00:07:45,630 --> 00:07:50,050 You can drown in as little as one inch of water. Oh, thanks for that. That's 131 00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:51,050 really helpful. 132 00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:53,670 What happens in a desert if you don't drink your water? 133 00:07:54,010 --> 00:07:56,370 They have nothing to wash their salad in. 134 00:07:56,770 --> 00:07:59,110 Saladin. It's called salad in. 135 00:07:59,810 --> 00:08:03,570 What happens in a desert if you do not drink the water? 136 00:08:04,830 --> 00:08:06,170 They get thirsty. 137 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:10,100 And what happens if you still don't drink the water? 138 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:11,480 You get bad skin. 139 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,580 No choppy lips. No patatage, okay? What happens next? 140 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:16,200 You die. 141 00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:20,080 Yeah! Boom! One point to idiot number two. Well done. 142 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,880 Where do they need to go to get their water? 143 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,820 Begins with a W, ends in an L. 144 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:27,340 Wall. 145 00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:29,340 Rhymes with bell. 146 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:30,760 Cello. 147 00:08:31,540 --> 00:08:32,539 Well. 148 00:08:35,940 --> 00:08:36,940 Yeah! 149 00:08:40,010 --> 00:08:44,350 So we go to the well. We block their access. They cannot drink any water. 150 00:08:44,350 --> 00:08:47,750 get weaker and weaker until they can barely stand. 151 00:08:48,030 --> 00:08:49,350 They're about to die. 152 00:08:49,610 --> 00:08:53,730 And then we can finally... Kill them all! Kill them all! 153 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,050 Kill them all! 154 00:08:55,490 --> 00:08:58,750 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Can we just run through it one more time? 155 00:09:01,070 --> 00:09:03,570 We go to the well. 156 00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:07,270 The well is this way. 157 00:09:09,610 --> 00:09:13,870 Saladin was clever, cunning in battle, but was also fair to his enemies. 158 00:09:14,150 --> 00:09:18,390 He once agreed to stop attacking a castle because there was a royal wedding 159 00:09:18,390 --> 00:09:19,390 going on. 160 00:09:19,430 --> 00:09:22,710 No, Saladin didn't. Yes, Saladin did. 161 00:09:23,550 --> 00:09:27,750 But not everyone in the Crusades was as civilised as Saladin, especially not the 162 00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:32,550 French knight, Renaud de Chatillon. He was so nasty, he must have thought they 163 00:09:32,550 --> 00:09:36,390 were called the Cruel Saves. Eh? The Cruel Saves! 164 00:09:37,050 --> 00:09:39,010 Definitely one of history's... 165 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:40,300 craziest fools. 166 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:44,440 Ha! 167 00:09:47,140 --> 00:09:52,560 I'm Mr. H, and I've seen your history there. It's a rich tapestry of 168 00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:55,740 people doing brave and wonderful things. 169 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,260 But I ain't here to talk about them! 170 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:05,840 Now, I like to visit places, see stuff, and meet people. But in the Middle Ages, 171 00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:08,000 people liked to visit places. 172 00:10:08,620 --> 00:10:10,740 steal stuff and kill people. 173 00:10:10,980 --> 00:10:13,880 If that ain't crazy, I don't know what is. 174 00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:19,460 Meet Reynolds of Chathion. He was a gnat, yeah, who fought in the Crusades 175 00:10:19,460 --> 00:10:23,380 King John's brother Richard the Lionheart and ended up staying in the 176 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:30,120 This guy was bigoted, insensitive, violent, greedy and brute. And those 177 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:34,040 good points. He used to put boxes on the heads of prisoners. 178 00:11:00,759 --> 00:11:06,020 So her father's a colonel and her mother's in the WI. 179 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:08,600 I know. 180 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:13,080 Right, when I was a prince, I was top -notch ruling practice. 181 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:18,840 I mean, lord of Ireland. What was the funniest thing about that job? 182 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:20,360 What is it? 183 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:25,800 A. The Irish lords walked around naked. B. 184 00:11:26,180 --> 00:11:30,160 The Irish lords had funny beards. Or C. 185 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:33,200 The Irish lords dressed like women. 186 00:11:35,140 --> 00:11:36,140 B. 187 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:41,540 Of course it's me. The Irish lords had funny beards. I had so much trouble 188 00:11:41,540 --> 00:11:44,980 pulling their beards, they didn't like it. I don't know why. No sense of humor. 189 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:46,720 Funny guy. 190 00:11:48,420 --> 00:11:49,560 Yeah, hilarious. 191 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:54,480 King John lived a life of privilege and luxury, but medieval life for ordinary 192 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:58,960 people like me wasn't always that comfortable. In fact, it could be pretty 193 00:11:58,960 --> 00:11:59,960 smelly. 194 00:12:25,550 --> 00:12:27,510 Wipe your bum, sir. What? Will I? 195 00:12:27,970 --> 00:12:29,790 Wipe your bum, sir. Er, no. 196 00:12:30,090 --> 00:12:31,490 No, I'm fine, thanks. 197 00:12:31,830 --> 00:12:34,150 Oh, come, sir. This is the Middle Ages. 198 00:12:34,510 --> 00:12:37,930 A fine gentleman like yourself can't be seen to wipe his own bum now, can he? 199 00:12:38,230 --> 00:12:42,430 All right, it's all here in the Book of Civilised Man by esteemed poet Daniel of 200 00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:43,430 Beckles. 201 00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:47,720 If you wish to belch, always look up at the ceiling. 202 00:12:51,180 --> 00:12:54,060 Wait, you can stick that hay where the sun don't shine. 203 00:12:54,420 --> 00:12:56,420 That's what I was going to do, sir. Please! 204 00:12:57,420 --> 00:12:58,420 All right. 205 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,100 I don't want your money. 206 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,780 No, I want your poo. 207 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:11,100 What? It's been such a cold winter, we've been burning poo to keep warm. 208 00:13:11,860 --> 00:13:12,860 Warm? 209 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:17,500 Ready when you are, sir. Just one log for the fire. 210 00:13:22,140 --> 00:13:25,640 All right. 211 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:30,920 Well, that's dinner sorted. 212 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:36,840 You might think burning poo to keep warm is pretty bad. 213 00:13:37,220 --> 00:13:38,240 Because it is. 214 00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:43,460 But across the globe, a ferocious leader was making life for people even worse. 215 00:13:43,980 --> 00:13:45,280 in Mongolia. 216 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:50,960 Hello, I'm Geoff Reason, and welcome to Battle of the Day, coming live from 13th 217 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:55,520 century Mongolia, as we focus on the scourge of the world. No, not the 218 00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:00,400 disastrous King John in England, but the strong wolf himself, Genghis Khan. 219 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:07,300 With me, providing expert analysis and plenty of gory details, is Jamie Castle. 220 00:14:07,540 --> 00:14:11,520 Jamie, Genghis has a pretty terrible reputation, but come on. 221 00:14:11,820 --> 00:14:12,860 Is he really that ruthless? 222 00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:18,000 During his life, Genghis Khan turned most of Asia into a bloodbath. What kind 223 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,320 soap would you use in a bloodbath? 224 00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:20,800 It's not a real bath, Jeff. 225 00:14:21,380 --> 00:14:25,280 And even if it was, Genghis has made washing punishable by death. 226 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,380 Hold your noses. We're about to hear from the mighty Mongol himself. 227 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:32,220 Genghis, we're off to do battle with the Chinese today. What do you say to 228 00:14:32,220 --> 00:14:33,740 accusations that you fight dirty? 229 00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:35,319 It's true. 230 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:36,320 I do. 231 00:14:36,620 --> 00:14:38,140 There is no honour in war. 232 00:14:38,540 --> 00:14:40,720 Only victory or defeats. 233 00:14:41,550 --> 00:14:43,230 I'm not sure that I agree with you there. 234 00:14:44,470 --> 00:14:45,670 Then I'll kill you! 235 00:14:46,950 --> 00:14:47,950 Thanks, 236 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:51,610 lads. See you later. 237 00:14:52,210 --> 00:14:57,470 We're about to go to Chris' stake armour at the Bridge of Human Bodies. Chris? 238 00:14:58,130 --> 00:15:02,730 Genghis arrives, sees the moat around the enemy's fortress and orders all his 239 00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:08,410 prisoners to rush into the water until their bodies pile up like a bridge. A 240 00:15:08,410 --> 00:15:09,410 human bridge! 241 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,900 allowing his army to march right across. 242 00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,660 I've never seen anything like it, Jeff. 243 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,100 Ugly, but weirdly effective. 244 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:21,180 Good luck, you, Chris. 245 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:22,640 Oh, you're really mature. 246 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,040 Oh, yeah, I'm in a Mongol horn. 247 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,260 Look at me, bullying everyone. 248 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:33,340 And here's a victorious man who couldn't agree with you more. 249 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,880 Genghis, you've conquered anyone and everyone you could find. One of the most 250 00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:40,360 brutal warriors in history. It's quite a legacy. 251 00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:41,539 Hang on. 252 00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:43,080 How about my religious tolerance? 253 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:47,720 Or the fact that I outlawed kidnapping women, stealing animals, and enslaving 254 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,680 other Mongols. And all you want to do is talk about wars and killing? 255 00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:53,640 But you have killed quite a lot of people. 256 00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:55,379 Fair point. 257 00:15:55,380 --> 00:15:59,000 40 million, here. 40 million? 258 00:15:59,340 --> 00:16:00,760 In the 13th century? 259 00:16:01,390 --> 00:16:04,150 That's nearly 11 % of the world's entire population. 260 00:16:04,590 --> 00:16:09,090 Great for the environment, though, Geoff. Dead people don't produce CO2, 261 00:16:09,090 --> 00:16:10,630 or chopped down trees. 262 00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:14,430 He really deserves to be remembered as one of the most environmentally friendly 263 00:16:14,430 --> 00:16:15,530 rulers of all time. 264 00:16:18,230 --> 00:16:19,230 Methane. 265 00:16:24,170 --> 00:16:27,710 While Genghis Khan was conquering half the known world, back in England, things 266 00:16:27,710 --> 00:16:29,330 weren't going well for King John. 267 00:16:29,630 --> 00:16:33,530 But instead of being nice and trying to make more friends, he just kept winding 268 00:16:33,530 --> 00:16:35,610 everyone up and being really, really annoying. 269 00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:44,610 This is John. He's the King of England. He's got a lot of expensive gear to 270 00:16:44,610 --> 00:16:45,429 shell out for. 271 00:16:45,430 --> 00:16:47,390 Walls, fleets, castles and the like. 272 00:16:47,670 --> 00:16:49,050 Bad news, he skips. 273 00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:51,150 Good news, he's also the King of Khans. 274 00:16:51,350 --> 00:16:52,390 Let's see him do the business. 275 00:16:54,890 --> 00:16:55,890 My leave. 276 00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:57,770 The dodgy war con. 277 00:16:58,150 --> 00:16:59,150 Brought by troops. 278 00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:01,730 When do we set sail for war on France? 279 00:17:02,130 --> 00:17:03,810 Yeah, really soon. 280 00:17:04,010 --> 00:17:05,569 Have you got the cash? 281 00:17:07,190 --> 00:17:08,190 Hang on. 282 00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:11,670 You're not going to do that thing again where you pretend there's a war on and 283 00:17:11,670 --> 00:17:15,150 we give you a load of money to help fight it and it turns out there wasn't a 284 00:17:15,150 --> 00:17:16,150 and you just wanted the money. 285 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:18,270 Good. 286 00:17:22,849 --> 00:17:23,849 Come on. 287 00:17:24,090 --> 00:17:25,329 Here you go. Okay. 288 00:17:25,910 --> 00:17:27,730 Gosh, he's just been had. 289 00:17:27,930 --> 00:17:31,170 Thanks. Um, actually, I think we will end the war. 290 00:17:31,590 --> 00:17:32,590 Thanks for your support, though. 291 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:39,450 Oh! I can't believe you got me again. 292 00:17:40,410 --> 00:17:42,430 To be fair, he does it the whole time, you know. 293 00:17:42,710 --> 00:17:44,550 And we have no choice but to give him what he asks. 294 00:17:45,070 --> 00:17:48,190 It's bad enough that he lost all our land in France. Now he's nicking our 295 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:50,610 Wife's going to be livid. 296 00:17:50,950 --> 00:17:51,950 See you, guys. 297 00:17:53,189 --> 00:17:57,110 Who's this king, sir? It's our scammer King John again. We call this one the 298 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:58,570 Lackland Churchland, Con. 299 00:17:58,950 --> 00:18:00,930 Sorry, are you the bishop? 300 00:18:03,030 --> 00:18:04,030 Yes, sir. Good. 301 00:18:04,230 --> 00:18:07,210 Right, because I'm a king, and I'm confiscating all your land. 302 00:18:08,390 --> 00:18:11,210 Right. Okay, don't tell me you're going to sell them back to me. 303 00:18:11,430 --> 00:18:12,430 Not even close. 304 00:18:13,230 --> 00:18:14,510 I'm going to sell them back to you. 305 00:18:14,930 --> 00:18:17,430 Boy, he's already setting up his next con. 306 00:18:18,970 --> 00:18:20,510 I'm going to build a whole new town. 307 00:18:20,910 --> 00:18:23,150 just so that I can charge them for a royal charter. 308 00:18:23,630 --> 00:18:26,390 I'm going to call this con... Liverpool. 309 00:18:27,470 --> 00:18:28,470 Bosh! 310 00:18:28,910 --> 00:18:31,710 Warning, some of these hustles may turn your people against you and lead to you 311 00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:32,710 losing the crown. 312 00:18:34,370 --> 00:18:35,370 It's true. 313 00:18:35,390 --> 00:18:40,190 King John really did found the area of Liverpool as a way to make money out of 314 00:18:40,190 --> 00:18:41,190 his people. 315 00:18:41,230 --> 00:18:44,270 Whose Merseyside is he on, eh? Eh? Eh? Eh? 316 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:49,600 Eventually, the barons had had enough of coughing up cash for greedy King Johnny 317 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,520 and decided to make a list of angry demands. 318 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:58,100 The Archbishop of Canterbury agreed to act as a go -between, and on June 10th, 319 00:18:58,100 --> 00:19:03,500 1215, King John and the barons met for two weeks of arguing at Runnymede in 320 00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:07,960 Surrey to discuss what would become the famous Magna Carta. 321 00:19:11,140 --> 00:19:12,680 Your Majesty. 322 00:19:13,260 --> 00:19:16,620 We, the noblemen of England, are worried about your continued abuse of power. 323 00:19:16,820 --> 00:19:20,800 It threatens the future of the realm. So we've gathered here at Runnymede and 324 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:25,180 we've written a list of grievances in this document here called the Magna 325 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,180 Really ticked off, actually. Really ticked off. Big time. 326 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:30,300 Magnum cartos, whatever. 327 00:19:30,780 --> 00:19:34,300 Got some grievances of my own, actually. I think you'll find our grievances more 328 00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:37,480 serious. I think you'll find mine are. I don't think you will, actually. 329 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,340 I think I will, actually. I don't think you will, actually. 330 00:19:40,970 --> 00:19:42,950 There's only one way to settle this. 331 00:19:43,670 --> 00:19:47,830 I propose a grievance battle. 332 00:19:51,050 --> 00:19:52,450 Baron, hit it! 333 00:19:54,590 --> 00:19:56,090 Where to start? 334 00:19:56,350 --> 00:19:59,870 Which part? We've got so many grievances, we could fill a cart. Let's 335 00:19:59,870 --> 00:20:03,430 some facts. Like facts. They're so heavy that they're going to break our backs. 336 00:20:03,530 --> 00:20:07,510 We can't pay. There's no chance. We lost all our money when you lost France. 337 00:20:08,030 --> 00:20:09,550 The northern bit, anyway. 338 00:20:10,130 --> 00:20:11,950 Your Majesty, you got bones. 339 00:20:12,190 --> 00:20:13,290 Drop some beats, player. 340 00:20:13,950 --> 00:20:14,950 I'm confused. 341 00:20:14,990 --> 00:20:18,910 Is this real? I thought I was the king. I'm holding his seal. Kneel to the king. 342 00:20:18,930 --> 00:20:22,070 I'll see you grovel in the grime. I'll tax what I like. I'll even tax this 343 00:20:22,250 --> 00:20:24,270 If Barry's so groveling, find it get real. 344 00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:27,330 Listen to me, dog, or you're going to feel some steel. It's charted tight. 345 00:20:27,690 --> 00:20:30,850 We don't need to fight. Just hit it with your seal and give us our rights. I'm 346 00:20:30,850 --> 00:20:32,570 serious, boys. I ain't finished. 347 00:20:32,870 --> 00:20:36,410 We want a council to represent rich people. We want a free church with a 348 00:20:36,410 --> 00:20:40,390 steeple. We want you to stop stealing our sun and hoarding them hostage like 349 00:20:40,390 --> 00:20:43,430 have done. There's vital stuff here that you've got to give us. There's also 350 00:20:43,430 --> 00:20:45,710 some stuff about fishing in the river. So stop. 351 00:20:46,330 --> 00:20:49,130 Read what we plead. Acquire the deed in running need. 352 00:20:49,370 --> 00:20:51,370 Do what we ask or we're going to make you bleed. 353 00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:55,230 Yeah, I hear what you're saying. If I don't tread yet, people my life will be 354 00:20:55,230 --> 00:20:56,610 playing soon. Tell me what to do. 355 00:20:56,970 --> 00:20:57,729 You're the boss. 356 00:20:57,730 --> 00:20:59,650 They will have to do this later because we're taking up the cross. 357 00:21:00,070 --> 00:21:01,070 Interesting development. 358 00:21:01,150 --> 00:21:02,590 I wonder... Oh, 359 00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:04,069 shut up. 360 00:21:04,070 --> 00:21:07,250 Hang on a minute. You must think we're barmy. While you're talking here, you're 361 00:21:07,250 --> 00:21:09,050 hiring up an army. So how about this? 362 00:21:09,550 --> 00:21:12,390 Let's barter. We'll stay loyal if you agree to Magna Carta. 363 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,820 Whatever, dog, I'll agree, you skanky scroll. I'm tired of this game and it's 364 00:21:17,820 --> 00:21:21,480 time for me to roll. I ain't bothered. It don't feel me with Burrow. No one 365 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:24,420 even remember this tomorrow. Plus, I'm busy with the Pope and he'll ignore this 366 00:21:24,420 --> 00:21:27,340 thing. I do things my way because I'm John and I'm the king. Oh! 367 00:21:28,060 --> 00:21:29,060 Oh! 368 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:31,880 Man, this king is fast. 369 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:33,400 Harsh. 370 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:40,460 So. King John had a right royal grumble, but agreed Magna Carta, which meant for 371 00:21:40,460 --> 00:21:45,580 the first time in history, the king had to follow the law like everyone else. He 372 00:21:45,580 --> 00:21:49,480 couldn't just steal your castle and take your cash like he could before. 373 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:54,280 If it wasn't for Magna Carta, the queen today would be able to kick you out of 374 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:57,960 your bedroom, nick your pocket money and eat your sweets, just because she felt 375 00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,280 like it. Not that she would, of course. 376 00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:01,740 She's a lovely lady. 377 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:06,080 But did Magna Carta finally make King John behave himself? 378 00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:11,260 Nah, he just went straight back to being just as annoying as before. 379 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,720 Eh, still King John. 380 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:14,920 Just about. 381 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,960 Having a bit of a tough time with the Baron. They're trying to replace me with 382 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:20,740 French prince called Louis. 383 00:22:21,420 --> 00:22:26,980 But I'm clinging on. Anyway, they're all obsessed with boring Magna Carta. 384 00:22:27,660 --> 00:22:29,980 Which is a Latin name. 385 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,620 But do you know what it means in English? 386 00:22:34,340 --> 00:22:36,600 Is it... A. 387 00:22:37,260 --> 00:22:39,060 Hot Charter. B. 388 00:22:39,580 --> 00:22:41,460 Great Charter. C. 389 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:43,560 Generous Charter. 390 00:22:45,940 --> 00:22:51,500 The answer is B. They call it the Great Charter. Nothing great about it. 391 00:22:51,980 --> 00:22:56,960 Because it's a list of things that I'm not allowed to do. Well, stuff that for 392 00:22:56,960 --> 00:23:01,460 game soldier. But I've got actual soldiers. This war... is back on, and no 393 00:23:01,460 --> 00:23:03,080 Frenchman is going to steal my throat. 394 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,200 Feeling tip -top, to be honest. 395 00:23:09,060 --> 00:23:10,140 I'm sure that won't stop me. 396 00:23:11,260 --> 00:23:12,260 Oh, dear. 397 00:23:12,540 --> 00:23:13,540 Can't wait! 398 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:20,320 King John might have ignored Magna Carta, but luckily for us, from 1215 to 399 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:24,520 people throughout history have realised how important it was. 400 00:23:24,740 --> 00:23:29,260 Who'd have thought so much could be achieved by one small piece of paper? 401 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:39,160 Here's the story of a very old decree Forced on King John as he made up with 402 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:43,280 revenue of us barons And the aristocracy. 403 00:23:43,580 --> 00:23:47,100 He took our land and for a laugh held us on hostage too. 404 00:23:47,380 --> 00:23:50,560 Magna Carta. Magna Carta. Told King John he's gotta be. 405 00:23:50,820 --> 00:23:54,240 He's gotta be subject to Laura Gretax with us too. 406 00:23:54,460 --> 00:23:55,460 Gave his seal. 407 00:23:55,540 --> 00:23:56,379 Gave my seal. 408 00:23:56,380 --> 00:23:57,720 Then withdrew his guarantee. 409 00:23:58,510 --> 00:24:05,230 Left to Henry III and Edward I to pass it through. And I would say 800 years 410 00:24:05,230 --> 00:24:08,690 of a day worth 800 cheers. 411 00:24:08,890 --> 00:24:15,470 Since 1215, Magna Carta's been the foundation of our democracy. 412 00:24:16,070 --> 00:24:19,510 By 1500, it reads that all men are free. 413 00:24:19,930 --> 00:24:23,830 Even penance, just like me, can tell kings that it's true. For years it 414 00:24:23,830 --> 00:24:24,830 vanished. 415 00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:26,560 Until Edward Cook MP. 416 00:24:26,860 --> 00:24:27,419 That's me. 417 00:24:27,420 --> 00:24:28,480 Challenged Charles I. 418 00:24:28,700 --> 00:24:30,440 That's his own power to prove. 419 00:24:30,740 --> 00:24:35,120 You'd think that Cromwell. Golly, Ollie. Would agree, but instead he said. Magna 420 00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:38,620 Carta. Magna Carta, more like. Not to me. I'm Thomas Jephthah. 421 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,240 And Edward Cook is the B's knees. 422 00:24:41,580 --> 00:24:44,700 Our American Constitution incorporated his decrees. 423 00:24:45,060 --> 00:24:51,540 And I believe 800 years has grew from ancient pioneers. 424 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,060 That's British invention. 425 00:25:15,739 --> 00:25:19,600 This letter to... 426 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:10,919 years old. 427 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,500 That's nearly as old as my gran. 428 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:19,200 King John continued to fight his barons until he died in 1216, just one year 429 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:20,240 after Magna Carta. 430 00:26:20,500 --> 00:26:25,700 The barons forgot about Prince Louis and John's son, Henry, became King Henry 431 00:26:25,700 --> 00:26:30,940 III. Poor Johnny Boy is now remembered for being a rubbish king and for a 432 00:26:30,940 --> 00:26:32,980 document he completely ignored. 433 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,780 I wonder what he would make of all that. 434 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:42,460 Chatty Death, Chatty Death, my grisly interviews. 435 00:26:43,620 --> 00:26:47,680 Chatty Death, Chatty Death, the dead, unfamous twos. 436 00:26:48,180 --> 00:26:50,180 Yeah, they wouldn't even pay for a new tune. 437 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:52,260 Yeah, time tune, doesn't work. 438 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,180 What? Oh, yeah. 439 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:59,960 Hello, and welcome back to Chatty Death, where it's time for our special guest. 440 00:27:00,140 --> 00:27:04,980 Please go absolutely bonkers for the former King of England, King John! 441 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:09,560 going bonkers, is it? 442 00:27:11,460 --> 00:27:17,100 So, Johnny Bobbs, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny Bobbs, a King of 443 00:27:17,100 --> 00:27:20,620 England, eh? How did you die in battle an assassin's blade? 444 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,120 Let's get to the bottom of this. 445 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:26,020 Bad tummy. I had dysentery from eating too many peaches. 446 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:30,640 Oh, sorry. Yes, that's me. Sorry. Well, we got to the bottom of it, all right. 447 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:37,300 Now, there is one thing people like about you. You gave us Magna Carta. 448 00:27:37,710 --> 00:27:41,430 Magnum what, what? You know, big bit of paper. You signed it to limit your 449 00:27:41,430 --> 00:27:43,110 powers and give rights to the barons. 450 00:27:43,350 --> 00:27:44,550 People still remember that? 451 00:27:44,790 --> 00:27:47,110 Well, yeah, it sort of became the foundation of democracy. 452 00:27:47,390 --> 00:27:50,550 No, that was nothing. I just signed it to keep the barons quiet for a few 453 00:27:50,770 --> 00:27:53,470 I've kept more important pieces of paper next to my toilet. 454 00:27:53,710 --> 00:27:57,130 Yeah, well, this toilet paper is the basis of the Constitution of America. 455 00:27:57,570 --> 00:27:58,790 Sorry, what's in America? 456 00:27:59,150 --> 00:28:01,630 You know, cowboys, skyscrapers, hot dogs. 457 00:28:01,970 --> 00:28:02,970 Al Pacino! 458 00:28:03,550 --> 00:28:04,449 Hoo -ha! 459 00:28:04,450 --> 00:28:06,250 Al Pacino! What do you got? 460 00:28:06,530 --> 00:28:09,580 What? No? A tick too long to explain. 461 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:11,520 I can't believe I was so unpopular. 462 00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:15,180 But please tell me my brother Richard is hated even more. 463 00:28:15,540 --> 00:28:16,760 Richard the Lionheart? 464 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:21,240 Yeah. Civilist hero of the Crusades? I don't believe it. He hardly spent a day 465 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:24,700 in the country and bankrupted us with his taxes. Why am I the villain? Well, 466 00:28:24,700 --> 00:28:25,840 let's put it this way. 467 00:28:27,580 --> 00:28:31,760 That was getting awk. 468 00:28:32,620 --> 00:28:35,140 Oh, you liked my Al Pacino, did you? Yeah, I do others. 469 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:37,520 The Force, Luke. 470 00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:42,340 Chatty death, chatty death. Hope next time it's not you. 471 00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:44,320 Hi, 472 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:49,240 I'm King John, and I'm a... I'm a night tyrant. 473 00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:50,480 It's very hard to say that. 474 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,860 Make a shrewd tactical decision involving the pincer movement. 475 00:28:55,620 --> 00:28:58,760 The past is no longer a mystery. 476 00:28:58,980 --> 00:29:02,040 Hope you enjoyed Horrible History. 39665

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