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Yes, thank you.
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00:00:14,070 --> 00:00:15,250
I'll get right back to you.
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You'll never believe this.
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00:00:17,330 --> 00:00:20,310
Harvey Zack, the editor of the Glen
Falls Gazette, just offered me a job.
5
00:00:20,690 --> 00:00:22,570
Really, Hope? A paper route at your age?
6
00:00:22,850 --> 00:00:24,170
That is so lame.
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You're getting a paper route?
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00:00:26,890 --> 00:00:29,450
Dilly, your mother's not getting a paper
route.
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Are you?
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00:00:30,990 --> 00:00:31,990
No.
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Apparently, Mr. Zack has been so
impressed with my letters to the editor,
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00:00:35,990 --> 00:00:37,410
offering me my own column.
13
00:00:38,010 --> 00:00:39,590
Life in the carpool lane.
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Or they could call it...
15
00:00:44,329 --> 00:00:45,329
That's great.
16
00:00:45,510 --> 00:00:49,310
It was always your mother's dream to be
a journalist. In fact, right after we
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00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:52,370
got married, she got an offer to go work
at the Chicago Tribune.
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00:00:52,630 --> 00:00:54,790
Mom, I think you should totally take the
job.
19
00:00:55,010 --> 00:00:56,430
But what about the Great American Bake
Sale?
20
00:00:56,930 --> 00:00:58,910
I'm the only one who knows how to make
pecan sandies.
21
00:00:59,930 --> 00:01:02,430
Don't worry. We'll follow your recipe to
the letter.
22
00:01:02,770 --> 00:01:05,770
Oh, that's the decoy recipe, in case we
ever get robbed.
23
00:01:06,210 --> 00:01:08,370
The real one's right up here.
24
00:01:09,890 --> 00:01:11,110
Let's keep that on the down low.
25
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,680
We don't want the cookie elves torturing
it out of you.
26
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Honey, you're a great writer.
27
00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:18,340
You should take the job.
28
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,780
I already have a job that I love.
29
00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:23,120
But don't you want to do something
important in the world?
30
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:24,440
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
31
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Your mother has plenty of important
things to do around here.
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Like making my breakfast, folding my
laundry, folding my hand mirror while I
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pluck out my ingrown hairs.
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Hello? Mr. Zack?
35
00:01:37,540 --> 00:01:38,378
Hope Shanowski.
36
00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:39,480
I'd love to take the job.
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Fine. Take the stupid job.
38
00:01:42,420 --> 00:01:47,300
Justin, upstairs. Now, you, my friend,
are going to get acquainted with the
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00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:48,300
tweezer.
40
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,080
I want a bigger language.
41
00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:57,080
You know we don't have to talk about it.
We've got our different ways.
42
00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:02,960
But you know in the end we can laugh
about it. Even though we can drive each
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00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:03,960
other crazy.
44
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:16,620
I just want to thank you for such a
wonderful opportunity.
45
00:02:16,940 --> 00:02:19,880
I think you'll find that I'm a hard
worker, very enthusiastic, full of
46
00:02:20,020 --> 00:02:21,020
and I have a positive attitude.
47
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,880
My mother used to say, it's not what
happens to you in life, it's your
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toward it. Why don't you save a little
something for the column?
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00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:29,560
Now, for your first topic.
50
00:02:30,820 --> 00:02:31,820
Tattoos for teens.
51
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:33,720
Yay or nay?
52
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Ah, that's easy.
53
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:38,440
My daughter Sydney's friend Sally got a
tattoo without telling her mother Cindy,
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00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:42,260
but Susie Sally's sister told Cindy
after Sally suffered a serious
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00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:44,100
Nay.
56
00:02:44,820 --> 00:02:46,200
I want it by 5 o 'clock tomorrow.
57
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You got it? Yay.
58
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Sir.
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You dropped a little.
60
00:02:51,060 --> 00:02:52,060
There.
61
00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:53,400
I got it.
62
00:03:32,490 --> 00:03:35,230
If you're bucking for a promotion,
you're not flashing your good end.
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00:03:36,710 --> 00:03:38,090
What are you doing here?
64
00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:40,950
I thought you'd like to take me out to
lunch to celebrate your first day on the
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00:03:40,950 --> 00:03:42,410
job. It's 9 .30.
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00:03:43,010 --> 00:03:44,390
Lunch isn't for another three hours.
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00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:45,728
Okay, I'll wait.
68
00:03:45,730 --> 00:03:46,730
You can't wait.
69
00:03:46,930 --> 00:03:49,930
Fine. I'll just go have a few drinks,
come back and make out with your boss.
70
00:03:51,250 --> 00:03:52,250
Fine.
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00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:54,850
You can stay.
72
00:03:55,250 --> 00:03:57,170
But you have to be quiet. I promise.
73
00:03:57,870 --> 00:03:59,370
I'll be as quiet as a church moose.
74
00:04:01,590 --> 00:04:02,590
Mouth.
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00:04:02,670 --> 00:04:03,670
a church mouse.
76
00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:06,250
That doesn't make any sense. Why would
there be a mouse in church?
77
00:04:07,610 --> 00:04:08,650
Why would there be a moose?
78
00:04:10,170 --> 00:04:13,750
That's the whole point, Hope. If there
was a moose in church, people would
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00:04:13,750 --> 00:04:15,150
notice, so it would have to be quiet.
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00:04:17,110 --> 00:04:20,230
Fine. Be quiet as the church moose
thing.
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00:04:35,020 --> 00:04:38,540
What? Justin said I could have him. I
can't believe I have to tell you this,
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00:04:38,540 --> 00:04:39,820
no blowing bubbles.
83
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:43,760
Fine.
84
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:46,640
Church moves.
85
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,780
and played with this thing in months.
86
00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:20,980
Mm.
87
00:05:28,780 --> 00:05:29,759
Mm.
88
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,460
Those pecans, Sandy, smell delicious.
89
00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:33,960
Mm.
90
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:35,920
Oh.
91
00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:41,600
Sidney, you do know you're supposed to
take the pecans out of the shell.
92
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,640
But we use real... sand, right?
93
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:50,800
Who stole my bubbles?
94
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:58,580
Hey, there's my working girl. How was
your first day on the job? Oh,
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00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,380
Justin, draw my bath.
96
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:04,680
Oh, and make it a bubble bath.
97
00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:07,880
I knew it was an inside job.
98
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,980
Faith came to work with you? You didn't
tell me they had daycare.
99
00:06:15,340 --> 00:06:17,220
First day on the job, and I got nothing
done.
100
00:06:18,020 --> 00:06:19,080
What am I going to do tomorrow?
101
00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:21,120
I got it.
102
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:24,140
We'll get a sledgehammer and some rope,
and we'll keep her in the bed like that
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00:06:24,140 --> 00:06:25,140
guy in Misery.
104
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:27,600
Faith!
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00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:34,440
What is it? I had a really hard day at
the office, and I need to decompose.
106
00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:40,800
Listen, the thing about my job is, it's
my job.
107
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:44,440
Which means tomorrow, you're staying
home. But home is boring.
108
00:06:46,310 --> 00:06:49,310
Maybe. And I know this is a radical
suggestion.
109
00:06:49,990 --> 00:06:51,870
You can get your own job.
110
00:06:52,710 --> 00:06:53,710
My own job?
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00:06:54,190 --> 00:06:55,129
Mm -hmm.
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Your own office, your own space, and
your own... booth.
113
00:07:07,090 --> 00:07:08,090
Excuse me.
114
00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:16,980
Excuse me?
115
00:07:17,140 --> 00:07:21,840
Is it that I'm trying to work here and
your music is just a goof too loud?
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00:07:22,340 --> 00:07:23,340
Hey, co -worker!
117
00:07:25,020 --> 00:07:26,180
Guess who got a job?
118
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,760
Who? Me! Where? Here! No!
119
00:07:29,020 --> 00:07:30,020
Yes!
120
00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:39,360
You're working here? Yep. I'm on the
beat. Stopped my own column.
121
00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:42,980
Went up to Mr. Zack's office and told
him on a fascinating idea. Point,
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00:07:42,980 --> 00:07:46,710
counterpoint. The carpool lane meets
the... DAR pooling.
123
00:07:47,890 --> 00:07:49,110
You're not qualified.
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00:07:49,630 --> 00:07:51,190
You haven't written a word in your life.
125
00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:54,930
Not according to my impeccable resume.
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00:07:56,150 --> 00:07:57,570
First off, it's resume.
127
00:07:57,970 --> 00:08:00,390
And second, you're not Anchor 2020.
128
00:08:00,870 --> 00:08:03,630
Well, this reference letter from Hugh
Downs makes it different.
129
00:08:04,930 --> 00:08:06,270
Faith Anchor 2020.
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00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:07,570
I swear.
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00:08:09,390 --> 00:08:11,690
Sincerely, Hugh Downs.
132
00:08:12,390 --> 00:08:14,470
Ooh, we're late for the staff meeting.
133
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:15,479
staff meeting.
134
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,160
Hey, Judy! Debbie!
135
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,580
Meet my sister, Hope. She's helping me
out with my column.
136
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:22,500
So, Faith.
137
00:08:22,620 --> 00:08:27,460
What's Barbara Walters really like?
Well, working with a legend is very
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00:08:27,460 --> 00:08:30,580
intimidating. But eventually, she got
over it.
139
00:08:32,059 --> 00:08:33,140
I'll tell you one thing.
140
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,640
You'll never beat her in foosball.
141
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,440
She's got the wrists of an 18 -year -old
frat boy.
142
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,940
faces in the editorial page.
143
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,220
Faith Fairfield and her sister.
144
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:53,560
Let's give it up for the H -man.
145
00:08:55,780 --> 00:09:00,700
You know, I can't say that I've ever
worked for a newspaper or even read one,
146
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:01,760
for that matter.
147
00:09:02,180 --> 00:09:06,960
But I'm a big fan in Freedom of the
Press and the freedom to knock a few
148
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,140
lunch. Now, who's up for PJ
McGillicuddy?
149
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:19,320
room when the check comes.
150
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:24,460
Oh, would you like to say a few words?
151
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:29,820
Just that I'm really looking forward to
a positive work experience and making a
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00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:33,560
real difference and... What's up with
Wally's hat?
153
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,280
He was kicked in the head by a horse.
154
00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:41,860
He almost died.
155
00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:43,240
Operation.
156
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:45,540
But he's still a cheap ass...
157
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:56,620
But you can't make him pay for lunch.
158
00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,240
Again?
159
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:01,440
With the horse?
160
00:10:01,540 --> 00:10:02,800
What is wrong with you?
161
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:05,160
That's all right, Wally.
162
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:06,580
The hat looks great.
163
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,180
Considering it only cost him two bucks?
164
00:10:11,700 --> 00:10:14,100
Okay. You make everything okay.
165
00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:52,989
Want to read it to me?
166
00:10:52,990 --> 00:10:55,950
Fake. I am trying to concentrate.
167
00:10:58,670 --> 00:11:01,070
Hey, have you had your byline photo
taken yet?
168
00:11:01,590 --> 00:11:02,610
Yeah. Where is it?
169
00:11:03,510 --> 00:11:05,070
Right here. Can I see it? No.
170
00:11:05,390 --> 00:11:06,049
Want to see mine?
171
00:11:06,050 --> 00:11:08,030
No. Want to see me see mine?
172
00:11:10,750 --> 00:11:11,750
Which do you like?
173
00:11:12,810 --> 00:11:14,990
Saucy, bossy, or glossy?
174
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:06,079
That's your business.
175
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:10,300
But they don't pay us to goof off. They
pay us to work. And I take my work very
176
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:12,620
seriously. Oh, come on. Have some fun.
177
00:12:13,060 --> 00:12:13,879
This is work.
178
00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,220
Work isn't supposed to be fun.
179
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:17,560
What if you're a clown?
180
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:18,680
We're not clowns!
181
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:21,160
All right, fine. You win.
182
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,620
Let's just photocopy our butts and get
out of here.
183
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:41,720
and I'll leave you alone the rest of the
day.
184
00:12:42,260 --> 00:12:43,260
No!
185
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,720
Come on, Miss Jackson.
186
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,600
Show me your pie pies.
187
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,280
I do this.
188
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:57,140
Do you promise to leave me alone?
189
00:12:57,380 --> 00:12:58,380
I promise.
190
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:01,160
Ridiculous.
191
00:13:02,580 --> 00:13:05,500
All right, girl. Get your face in there,
too. What?
192
00:13:45,290 --> 00:13:46,290
this home to Charlie.
193
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:49,550
Now, I'm going back to work.
194
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,130
Alone.
195
00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:53,110
Hey, um, shut that door.
196
00:13:53,470 --> 00:13:55,370
I'm going to get a jump start on my
Christmas cards.
197
00:14:01,430 --> 00:14:05,150
Hey, Hope, can you move your car? You're
blocking Mr. Zackhead. Oh, sure. Right
198
00:14:05,150 --> 00:14:06,150
away.
199
00:14:12,390 --> 00:14:13,390
Hey!
200
00:14:13,450 --> 00:14:14,470
Need your byline photo.
201
00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:15,750
Oh, sure. Right here.
202
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,510
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
203
00:14:19,210 --> 00:14:20,210
Oh,
204
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:23,430
do you have hers? Because we're going to
press in an hour. Oh, yeah.
205
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,070
It's right here.
206
00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:27,230
There you go.
207
00:14:28,670 --> 00:14:32,210
Oh, and, um... Merry Christmas.
208
00:14:46,410 --> 00:14:47,410
Champagne?
209
00:14:47,630 --> 00:14:48,830
But I already brushed my teeth.
210
00:14:50,650 --> 00:14:52,790
We haven't had a chance to celebrate my
new job.
211
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:57,490
But I thought you were down on it now
that old Crazy Tunes is working there
212
00:14:58,850 --> 00:15:00,970
I'm at peace with that. Anyway, enough
about her.
213
00:15:01,350 --> 00:15:02,990
Tonight, it's about us.
214
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:29,680
Mm -hmm.
215
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:31,860
So I made you a little present.
216
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:38,120
What do you think?
217
00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:39,900
It's cute.
218
00:15:42,540 --> 00:15:43,519
That's all?
219
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:47,160
Well, it's better than your passport and
not as good as your driver's license.
220
00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:07,400
SportsCenter. Stop the president!
221
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,640
I've always wanted to say that.
222
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,000
Man overboard!
223
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:12,500
I've always wanted to say that, too.
224
00:16:12,740 --> 00:16:14,120
Mayday! Mayday!
225
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:16,740
There's been a terrible mistake.
226
00:16:16,980 --> 00:16:19,720
You're about to publish the wrong
picture. The very wrong picture.
227
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:20,699
Too late.
228
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:21,840
We're already printing.
229
00:17:53,350 --> 00:17:54,350
To get away from you.
230
00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:58,110
I don't understand.
231
00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:00,450
Why would you want to get away from me?
232
00:18:01,390 --> 00:18:02,390
I'm a blast.
233
00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:05,210
There's a three -week waiting list just
to be my lunch buddy.
234
00:18:06,890 --> 00:18:08,230
But heck, you don't want to be with me.
235
00:18:08,870 --> 00:18:09,870
It's not that.
236
00:18:11,170 --> 00:18:18,070
I love being with you. It's just... Just
not all the time.
237
00:18:19,690 --> 00:18:21,910
This job was supposed to be for me.
238
00:18:22,510 --> 00:18:23,630
So I could feel special.
239
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:29,630
Sometimes I feel like all I am is a
mother and a wife.
240
00:18:30,490 --> 00:18:33,550
But on my own, I'm just a big loser.
241
00:18:34,450 --> 00:18:35,450
A big nobody.
242
00:18:36,330 --> 00:18:37,330
No.
243
00:18:37,690 --> 00:18:39,470
You are not a nobody.
244
00:18:40,470 --> 00:18:42,790
You're Faith Fairfield's sister.
245
00:18:48,370 --> 00:18:51,010
And no one can ever take that away from
you.
246
00:18:57,290 --> 00:19:00,770
Remember how Dad used to say that Mom
was the hub of the wheel and we were all
247
00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:01,770
boat?
248
00:19:01,970 --> 00:19:02,970
Well, that's you.
249
00:19:03,290 --> 00:19:04,470
With Charlie and the kids.
250
00:19:04,970 --> 00:19:05,970
And me.
251
00:19:06,470 --> 00:19:08,070
We make all of our lives turn.
252
00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:12,790
If that's not contributing something to
the world, I don't know what is.
253
00:19:15,550 --> 00:19:16,550
You know something?
254
00:19:18,010 --> 00:19:20,170
I didn't even want this stupid job.
255
00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:22,250
Me either.
256
00:19:23,170 --> 00:19:24,730
I only did it to be with you.
257
00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:27,540
I don't even care about the company car.
258
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:32,820
You're getting a company car?
259
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:34,160
What? No.
260
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,220
Let me see if there's a reverse switch.
261
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:40,680
Oh, my God!
262
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:42,380
I'm stuck, too.
263
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:48,000
Do you find the vibration of this
machine strangely erotic? No.
19084
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