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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:14,099 Higher, Justin. 2 00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:18,220 I don't want splotches. I want to look good for the Oscars. You're going to the 3 00:00:18,220 --> 00:00:20,840 Oscars? No, I'm watching them on TV. 4 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:22,920 But you never know when they might cut to you. 5 00:00:27,780 --> 00:00:34,360 What a beautiful day for a drive in a 1962 Cherry Red Mint Conditioning 6 00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:36,500 Convertible. 7 00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:44,180 40 watts at a time. 8 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:46,700 Oh, hey, you know what would work even better? 9 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:48,160 Florida. 10 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:49,340 Permanently. 11 00:00:49,540 --> 00:00:50,740 We're moving to Florida? 12 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:55,580 Justin, you are going to love South Beach. 13 00:00:56,780 --> 00:00:58,260 I just met the man of my dreams! 14 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,460 Well, I didn't really meet him, but I saw him. And I think he might have seen 15 00:01:01,460 --> 00:01:04,080 me, but I kind of hope he didn't, because I totally hate my hair today. 16 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:05,680 going to see him at school tomorrow, and I don't know how to act. 17 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:07,800 Well... And face. How should I act? 18 00:01:09,780 --> 00:01:10,780 Just be yourself. 19 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:12,080 Don't be ridiculous. 20 00:01:12,510 --> 00:01:13,870 You can be yourself when you're alone. 21 00:01:14,390 --> 00:01:16,670 Find out what she likes and pretend to be that. 22 00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:21,550 Sydney, do you know what makes a girl attractive to a guy? 23 00:01:26,550 --> 00:01:27,650 Self -confidence. 24 00:01:28,190 --> 00:01:30,810 Just be who you are and he'll come to you. 25 00:01:31,530 --> 00:01:32,650 Is that true, Aunt Faith? 26 00:01:35,630 --> 00:01:36,890 Listen to your mother, Sydney. 27 00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:38,930 Yes. 28 00:01:39,790 --> 00:01:41,610 And do you know what's great for self -confidence? 29 00:01:42,410 --> 00:01:43,410 A nice tan! 30 00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:45,070 Justin! 31 00:01:48,850 --> 00:01:50,030 This job sucks. 32 00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:27,030 pen so we could write down Rachel Stoltz's bonemer. 33 00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:31,710 Why do I listen to you? You're so out of it. I am not out of it. 34 00:02:32,230 --> 00:02:34,610 I know how to get jiggly with it. 35 00:02:36,770 --> 00:02:39,470 Jiggly with it? I know the dealio. 36 00:02:40,110 --> 00:02:44,110 Your homeboy has got his groove going with some hoochie mama. 37 00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:46,790 And now you're totally spazzing. 38 00:02:48,990 --> 00:02:50,730 What? Not whack enough? 39 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:54,800 More MTV for you. 40 00:02:55,980 --> 00:02:57,360 So, here's the plan. 41 00:02:57,700 --> 00:02:58,780 We've got to get his attention. 42 00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:00,180 Let's see. 43 00:03:00,300 --> 00:03:02,220 Cornrows, a push -up bra, and a teacup chihuahua. 44 00:03:02,820 --> 00:03:03,820 Listen, 45 00:03:04,340 --> 00:03:07,560 you might think I'm out of it, but I'm the only one here in a successful 46 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:11,460 relationship. If you call 17 years sleeping with the same man successful, 47 00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:12,460 congratulations. 48 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,920 How long do cornrows take because everyone's meeting later tonight to 49 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:18,920 Cutler Road? 50 00:03:19,220 --> 00:03:20,220 Ooh. 51 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:21,960 I know what would get his attention. 52 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:26,120 What if you cruised Cutler Road in a 62 mint -conditioned cherry red Impala 53 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,000 convertible? No way. 54 00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:32,200 Oh, come on, Mom. I would look so hot in that car. Jake would be all over me. 55 00:03:32,860 --> 00:03:34,120 Yeah, emotionally. 56 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:38,440 Forget it. There is no way your dad is going to let you drive his car. 57 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:40,559 She's right. 58 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,220 We'll have to seek it out. Hey, come on. It was your idea. 59 00:03:43,580 --> 00:03:45,320 No, it wasn't. Please, Mom, please. 60 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,980 Come on. Hope you promised her. No, I didn't. 61 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:50,160 All right. 62 00:03:51,180 --> 00:03:54,420 But it would be awfully jiggly of you. 63 00:03:59,180 --> 00:04:02,280 Remember, once down Cutler Road, then pull over, and I'm driving straight 64 00:04:02,540 --> 00:04:06,800 Fine. But it's not very jiggly making her cruise the boulevard with her mom. 65 00:04:07,140 --> 00:04:09,260 She only has a permit. She can't drive alone. 66 00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:12,000 Don't worry, Sid. If we see Jake, we'll duck. 67 00:04:12,340 --> 00:04:14,040 Sidney, slow down. Hands at ten and two. 68 00:04:14,570 --> 00:04:17,010 Always double -check your mirrors before you make a turn. Mom! 69 00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:18,290 Your mother's right, Sydney. 70 00:04:18,390 --> 00:04:21,170 Driving is the only time when you can see yourself in three mirrors at once. 71 00:04:22,410 --> 00:04:25,030 Oh, my God! I think that's him! Quick, duck! 72 00:04:26,910 --> 00:04:27,769 Is it him? 73 00:04:27,770 --> 00:04:30,770 I don't know! I can't see! I'm ducking! You're ducking? 74 00:04:34,870 --> 00:04:36,190 Oh, my God! 75 00:04:38,590 --> 00:04:41,650 Well, good luck with this. 76 00:05:04,940 --> 00:05:07,260 warn you, but you were hell -bent on taking Charlie's car out. 77 00:05:07,820 --> 00:05:11,200 Me? It was Jackie O's idea. 78 00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:15,720 Whoa, easy there, Death Borado. 79 00:05:16,020 --> 00:05:18,680 At what point did I say wreck the car? 80 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,620 What are we going to do? Daddy's going to kill me. 81 00:05:21,860 --> 00:05:26,080 All right, look, I have a plan. This may seem a little dramatic, but get me some 82 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:27,460 oily rags and a pack of matches. 83 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:29,220 You have fire insurance, right? 84 00:05:29,940 --> 00:05:32,560 We are not going to set Charlie's car on fire. 85 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:34,360 We're just going to... 86 00:05:34,830 --> 00:05:35,830 Tell Charlie the truth. 87 00:05:36,090 --> 00:05:37,090 The truth? 88 00:05:37,190 --> 00:05:39,210 What if the truth done anything for anybody? 89 00:05:39,650 --> 00:05:42,210 This situation calls for lies. Nothing but lies. 90 00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:44,150 It's okay, Faith. 91 00:05:44,630 --> 00:05:47,530 I'll just tell him it was my idea. 92 00:05:47,870 --> 00:05:48,870 Are you crazy? 93 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:53,550 This was irresponsible, costly, and potentially life -threatening. It reeks 94 00:05:53,550 --> 00:05:54,690 me. It's classic, Faith. 95 00:05:56,030 --> 00:06:00,050 What about me? I was the one driving. If you tell him, he'll never let me get my 96 00:06:00,050 --> 00:06:01,050 license. 97 00:06:02,310 --> 00:06:03,310 Unless... 98 00:06:03,990 --> 00:06:06,210 You tell him you were driving. 99 00:06:07,190 --> 00:06:08,190 Oh! 100 00:06:09,350 --> 00:06:11,030 That little girl is all grown up. 101 00:06:14,430 --> 00:06:15,710 Hey, guys. What's going on? 102 00:06:15,930 --> 00:06:17,410 Nothing. What have you heard? 103 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,730 I mean, I better go do my homework. I love you, Daddy. 104 00:06:22,530 --> 00:06:25,070 That's so sweet. She hasn't said that in months. 105 00:06:25,890 --> 00:06:27,290 She always says she loves you. 106 00:06:27,530 --> 00:06:28,670 No, I meant that she's doing her homework. 107 00:06:30,130 --> 00:06:32,130 What are you doing home so early? 108 00:06:32,550 --> 00:06:33,550 Going for a drive. 109 00:06:33,870 --> 00:06:35,930 Such a beautiful afternoon. I canceled my four o 'clock. 110 00:06:36,250 --> 00:06:37,250 What are you doing? 111 00:06:37,650 --> 00:06:39,010 I'm opening the key drawer. 112 00:06:39,430 --> 00:06:40,430 Why? 113 00:06:41,130 --> 00:06:42,350 Well, here's the crazy part. 114 00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:44,590 So I can get the keys. 115 00:06:48,610 --> 00:06:50,050 You can't do that. Why not? 116 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:52,610 Because I'm in the mood. 117 00:06:57,030 --> 00:06:59,290 The mood? What mood? 118 00:06:59,550 --> 00:07:00,550 You know. 119 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:02,170 The mood. 120 00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:17,469 Sour candy? 121 00:07:19,370 --> 00:07:20,370 No. 122 00:07:21,010 --> 00:07:22,050 I want you. 123 00:07:22,870 --> 00:07:23,870 Now. 124 00:07:24,590 --> 00:07:29,230 I suppose the car ride can wait. 125 00:07:29,910 --> 00:07:31,170 Why don't you just go upstairs? 126 00:07:31,610 --> 00:07:32,870 I'll meet you up there in a minute. 127 00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:36,790 And I'll stay here and clean the kitchen. 128 00:07:39,410 --> 00:07:40,410 Get the yellow pages. 129 00:07:40,730 --> 00:07:41,830 Grand idea. Find a maid. 130 00:07:42,090 --> 00:07:43,910 No. A body shop for Charlie's car. 131 00:07:44,410 --> 00:07:45,610 What about the kitchen? Faith! 132 00:07:47,170 --> 00:07:48,170 Wait a minute. 133 00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:50,930 What's going on here? 134 00:07:51,850 --> 00:07:58,170 Sidney wants to study, Faith wants to clean, and you want to... do it? 135 00:08:02,170 --> 00:08:03,430 Works for me. Come on, help us. 136 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:21,160 like much, but I called around and this is the only place in town that fixes 137 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:22,160 classic cars. 138 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,700 Good. Good. 139 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:25,880 It's all good. 140 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:31,300 What is with you? I just really enjoyed my afternoon with Charlie. 141 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,940 Snap out of it before I start making the decision. 142 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:36,280 Okay, I'm back. 143 00:08:40,260 --> 00:08:41,260 Whoa. 144 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,560 The Fairfield sisters in the flesh. 145 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:46,580 Dude, pinch me. 146 00:08:47,670 --> 00:08:49,010 Dude. Really? 147 00:08:50,050 --> 00:08:51,510 You're right, dude. Do me again. 148 00:08:52,970 --> 00:08:54,630 Excuse me. 149 00:08:56,150 --> 00:08:57,150 How do we know you? 150 00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:59,610 It's Ronnie and Donnie from high school. 151 00:09:00,010 --> 00:09:01,270 Go Wildcats. 152 00:09:02,130 --> 00:09:03,390 Hope, we were in your year. 153 00:09:03,890 --> 00:09:05,470 And then we were in your year. 154 00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,890 And now we're in class with your daughter. 155 00:09:09,790 --> 00:09:12,830 Well, Ronnie is. I finally decided to just drop out. 156 00:09:13,510 --> 00:09:14,710 Now I'm homeschooled. 157 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,320 you again, Ronnie and Donnie. 158 00:09:22,820 --> 00:09:27,040 You know, we always had this fantasy in high school that the Fairfield sisters 159 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,800 and the Fuller brothers would go to the prom together. 160 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,160 Well, that would have been a hoot. 161 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:34,520 Right, Faith? 162 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:38,140 Yes, but that ship has sailed and thank God we weren't on it. 163 00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:41,040 How fast can we fix our car? 164 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:43,460 Two, three weeks tops. 165 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:46,720 Two or three weeks? We were kind of hoping for two or three hours. 166 00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:49,940 Well, you got a lot of customers ahead of you. 167 00:09:56,140 --> 00:09:59,240 Well, is there anything at all we can do to get you to move the Fairfield 168 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,240 sisters to the front of the line? 169 00:10:14,140 --> 00:10:21,080 I can't believe we agreed to do 170 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:21,999 this. 171 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,940 This is the only way they would fix Charlie's car by tomorrow. 172 00:10:26,010 --> 00:10:28,030 Besides, how hot do I look? 173 00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:30,930 I didn't want to go on a prom date. 174 00:10:31,290 --> 00:10:32,390 I'm a married woman. 175 00:10:32,670 --> 00:10:35,550 Oh, come on. It's one night out of our lives. Then it'll be a dream come true 176 00:10:35,550 --> 00:10:36,169 for them. 177 00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:38,030 Besides, how bad could it be? 178 00:10:58,060 --> 00:10:59,860 So, who gets who? 179 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:02,460 It's whom, dude. 180 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,080 Sorry. 181 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:05,700 Whom gets who? 182 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,980 Whoa, check this place. 183 00:11:25,930 --> 00:11:29,690 If that Ronnie blows in my ear one more time, I'm out of here. You mean Donnie. 184 00:11:30,110 --> 00:11:31,110 That's not Ronnie? 185 00:11:31,370 --> 00:11:33,050 No. Look, it's easy. 186 00:11:33,690 --> 00:11:36,190 Rat tail Ronnie, dandruff Donnie. 187 00:11:37,490 --> 00:11:39,090 I can't believe we're doing this. 188 00:11:39,510 --> 00:11:42,830 Look, all we have to do is make it through this one dinner, and Charlie's 189 00:11:42,830 --> 00:11:43,830 good as new. 190 00:11:44,110 --> 00:11:47,830 Fine, but let's just make it as fast as possible. These guys are gross. 191 00:11:48,870 --> 00:11:51,790 So, ladies, any requests? 192 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:56,920 Where no one can see it. 193 00:11:57,220 --> 00:11:59,280 I like the way you think, m 'lady. 194 00:12:03,580 --> 00:12:08,380 So... Mr. Wilkinson retired. 195 00:12:09,420 --> 00:12:13,020 Who? Shop teacher, three fingers, lazy eye. 196 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:15,500 We still party with him. 197 00:12:17,660 --> 00:12:19,460 What teachers do you party with? 198 00:12:22,220 --> 00:12:23,220 We're up. 199 00:12:23,630 --> 00:12:26,110 And that's a negativo on the couponos. 200 00:12:34,610 --> 00:12:36,810 Yeah. There you go. 201 00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:45,470 So, would you like to start with some antipasti or Uncle Venus? 202 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:05,040 think so. 203 00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:12,560 No wonder she wanted a table in the back. 204 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:19,040 Quit! 205 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,260 You know I didn't do anything. 206 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,360 Hey, whoever denied it supplied it. 207 00:13:27,180 --> 00:13:28,540 Have we decided? 208 00:13:28,860 --> 00:13:30,420 Four pots of special in the check, please. 209 00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:32,780 Okay, uh, four bottomless... 210 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:35,679 We want bottom. 211 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,180 Teeny bulls with tiny bottoms. 212 00:13:38,740 --> 00:13:39,740 Don't you know that? 213 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,640 Not like we're going to be here all night. How much pasta could they 214 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:44,640 eat? 215 00:13:53,220 --> 00:13:54,660 Faith. Faith. 216 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:56,440 Faith. 217 00:13:56,720 --> 00:14:01,000 What are you doing? I just want to get Charlie's car fixed and go home. 218 00:14:04,359 --> 00:14:05,359 Hey, 219 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:07,420 stay cool, Foxy. 220 00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:13,820 Oh, man, 221 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,600 why do all our dates end like this? 222 00:14:40,829 --> 00:14:42,010 Dude, are you crying? 223 00:14:44,290 --> 00:14:45,290 No. 224 00:14:47,530 --> 00:14:48,530 We need to go home. 225 00:14:49,670 --> 00:14:51,710 Dude, pull it together. I'm about to score. 226 00:14:52,570 --> 00:14:53,590 You're not even close. 227 00:14:54,830 --> 00:14:56,270 He's not as far as you think. 228 00:14:58,630 --> 00:14:59,950 Look, I'm sorry. 229 00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:03,870 I should have known you were way out of my league. 230 00:15:04,390 --> 00:15:06,990 I guess everyone in high school was right about me. 231 00:15:10,890 --> 00:15:16,070 That's not true. I think you're a really great guy. 232 00:15:17,190 --> 00:15:21,030 You might want to consider a more vigorous hygiene program. 233 00:15:23,030 --> 00:15:24,790 Perhaps not perming the mullet. 234 00:15:25,490 --> 00:15:31,710 But other than that, I think you're a real catch. 235 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:34,930 It's just that I'm married. 236 00:15:35,570 --> 00:15:36,630 I understand. 237 00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,490 It was not meant to be. 238 00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:42,560 But could you do us one favor? 239 00:15:43,940 --> 00:15:48,680 Since we never, ever got to go to the prom, how about one dance? 240 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:56,120 Well, I don't see any harm in one short, preferably not too close, dance. 241 00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:58,440 Sweet. 242 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,360 Commodore, you know the song. 243 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,660 Hey, kids, who's ready for some bottomless pasta? 244 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,200 Noodle, baby! 245 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,420 Hey, check out the losers dancing. 246 00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:28,520 Isn't that guy in your class? 247 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,180 Ew, he's trying to take her bra off. 248 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,300 Next week, I wasn't going to ask you any of this. 249 00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:05,619 Listen, um, I can explain. 250 00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:07,859 The truth is, we were kidnapped. 251 00:17:08,180 --> 00:17:10,660 No. Brainwashed. Enough. Okay, fine. 252 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,040 We are undercover cops, and we're about to make the biggest thing of our life, 253 00:17:15,099 --> 00:17:16,440 and you're totally blowing it for us. 254 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:17,800 Abort! Abort! 255 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:27,839 Charlie, um, I let Sidney drive your car, and, um, we had a 256 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:29,180 little fender bender. 257 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,050 Fender, fender. 258 00:17:32,610 --> 00:17:34,570 But don't worry, don't worry. 259 00:17:34,770 --> 00:17:38,410 These guys said they'd fix it if we agreed to go on a pretend date with 260 00:17:38,910 --> 00:17:39,910 How bad is it? 261 00:17:40,210 --> 00:17:41,530 It's actually not so bad. 262 00:17:41,910 --> 00:17:45,410 Ronnie's a really good kisser, and I think that Donnie has a shot at hope if 263 00:17:45,410 --> 00:17:46,410 would just lighten up. 264 00:17:48,330 --> 00:17:49,830 Not the date, the car! 265 00:17:52,010 --> 00:17:57,170 I'm so sorry. What were you thinking? I wasn't thinking. 266 00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,210 I want to... 267 00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:02,370 I wanted Sidney to think I was cool. 268 00:18:03,190 --> 00:18:06,390 And then Faith had this idea and... When are you going to learn? 269 00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:12,030 When Faith has an idea, bad things happen. Very, very bad things. 270 00:18:12,670 --> 00:18:14,570 Dudes, check it out. The horizontal. 271 00:18:16,290 --> 00:18:20,770 Sorry about that. 272 00:18:23,190 --> 00:18:24,190 Point taken. 273 00:18:25,970 --> 00:18:26,970 Besides... 274 00:18:27,210 --> 00:18:30,370 There is no greater waste of time than trying to make your teenage daughter 275 00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:31,370 think you're cool. 276 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:32,930 That's not true, Dad. 277 00:18:34,430 --> 00:18:41,290 The fact that you came out in public in that dress, with that hair, just to 278 00:18:41,290 --> 00:18:44,470 save my butt, makes you pretty damn cool. 279 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:00,080 It's just a car. 280 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,020 The important thing is no one was hurt. 281 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:05,480 Can we go home now? 282 00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:08,820 How about a dance first? 283 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,340 Charlie, I'd love to. 284 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:17,180 Have her home by 11. 285 00:19:19,220 --> 00:19:21,420 And you can keep the other one. 286 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:45,880 Well, she looks pretty good. 287 00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:48,060 Paint matches. 288 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:51,240 Good chrome work. 289 00:19:55,980 --> 00:19:57,800 Same sweet pearl. 290 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:05,860 And as a favor to me, they added a little something special. Just flip that 291 00:20:05,860 --> 00:20:06,860 switch. 21304

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