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1
00:00:14,329 --> 00:00:16,290
Mom, I'm going to be late for my study
group.
2
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:19,490
I'm sorry. Your aunt was supposed to be
back with the car an hour ago.
3
00:00:19,730 --> 00:00:20,429
I know.
4
00:00:20,430 --> 00:00:21,850
That's when I put on the uniform.
5
00:00:22,110 --> 00:00:23,270
I'm dying in here.
6
00:00:24,430 --> 00:00:27,150
I'm glad you're all here. I have
something very important to tell you.
7
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Oh, they'll be back.
8
00:00:34,130 --> 00:00:35,109
Where's the car?
9
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I lost it.
10
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You lost the car?
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00:00:37,850 --> 00:00:41,210
Actually, couldn't find and lost the
will to look for.
12
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:44,280
Where's my car?
13
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:45,820
Somewhere in the parking structure.
14
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:50,600
Could be on B4 or J2 or F something.
It's definitely not on A1, I can tell
15
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,480
that. Anyway, I took a taxi home.
16
00:00:53,860 --> 00:00:55,400
You just abandoned my car?
17
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,420
Like America abandoned me.
18
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,500
What are you talking about?
19
00:01:00,900 --> 00:01:05,560
I just spent three hours at the gym and
not one person recognized me.
20
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,980
I even positioned myself in the
treadmill so I could be seen in seven
21
00:01:08,980 --> 00:01:10,760
mirrors at the same time. And do you
know what I saw?
22
00:01:12,070 --> 00:01:13,690
Seven nobodies staring back at me.
23
00:01:14,350 --> 00:01:16,690
And one angry gay man waiting for the
machine.
24
00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:22,070
Look, Faith, I don't have time for this.
Now I have to get a cab, drop the kids
25
00:01:22,070 --> 00:01:24,730
off, go look for my car, and get back to
the mall before the stores close.
26
00:01:25,150 --> 00:01:26,150
Oh, the mall?
27
00:01:26,430 --> 00:01:27,570
Soap fans love the mall.
28
00:01:28,470 --> 00:01:29,470
Take me with you.
29
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Faith, I don't have time to chase you
around the food court and pretend that
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a fan.
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00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:36,890
Fine, just have me page and shout my
name when you see me.
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00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:40,670
Look, I have to get a dress for our
anniversary this Friday, and you'll just
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00:01:40,670 --> 00:01:41,479
in the way.
34
00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:45,740
Your wedding anniversary or one of your
made -up cutesy -poo anniversaries?
35
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:50,560
It just so happens this Friday is the
anniversary of the day Charlie and I
36
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kissed. You are so lame.
37
00:01:53,860 --> 00:01:58,400
You probably also celebrate the
anniversary of the day you had Justin.
38
00:01:59,580 --> 00:02:01,460
Yes, but we call it his birthday.
39
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:08,160
Charlie's a hopeless romantic, and he
loves our little anniversaries. Trust
40
00:02:08,259 --> 00:02:11,100
he wouldn't even remember if you didn't
remind him.
41
00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:12,420
That's not true.
42
00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,380
Well, why don't you not remind him and
then see?
43
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:16,480
Fine. I will.
44
00:02:16,780 --> 00:02:18,200
Ah, much better.
45
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,200
What are you doing?
46
00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:23,100
Mom, I think we have a situation here.
47
00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:52,500
I can't believe you talked me into
buying her a car.
48
00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,100
Look, the sharing thing is not working.
49
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,440
And anyway, it'll be a used car, so it
won't cost that much.
50
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:01,620
Oh, a Bentley convertible.
51
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,860
Oh, there's no way I'd lose this at the
gym.
52
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:13,400
And only $249 ,000? There's no way we
can afford not to buy it.
53
00:03:14,340 --> 00:03:16,880
We were hoping for something that cost
less than our house.
54
00:03:18,180 --> 00:03:19,180
Cheapskate.
55
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:20,540
Look, here's a cute car.
56
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:23,500
A powder blue hatchback.
57
00:03:24,020 --> 00:03:27,800
You might as well just take me out back
and shoot me. Don't you think you're
58
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:28,800
being... Wait a sec.
59
00:03:28,900 --> 00:03:29,900
Let's hear her out.
60
00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,000
Faith, we can't afford an expensive car.
61
00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:37,020
What about that account you and Charlie
put money into every month?
62
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The kid's college fund?
63
00:03:40,460 --> 00:03:43,300
Honestly, do you really think Justin is
going to make it that far?
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00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,040
The kid thinks there's a new Mexico.
65
00:03:49,550 --> 00:03:50,930
How about a motorcycle, Faith?
66
00:03:51,210 --> 00:03:53,810
Charlie, do you have any idea how
dangerous these things are?
67
00:03:54,190 --> 00:03:55,190
Yes, I do.
68
00:03:57,590 --> 00:03:59,750
I wonder if Handsome Hal Halverson is
here.
69
00:04:00,290 --> 00:04:01,470
Handsome who, Whatterson?
70
00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:03,450
Handsome Hal, this is his lot.
71
00:04:03,670 --> 00:04:04,670
Haven't you seen his commercials?
72
00:04:05,030 --> 00:04:08,790
Handsome Hal, beep, beep. He's as honest
as he is handsome.
73
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:11,750
Ladies and gentlemen, the tone guests.
74
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,380
And he has all these celebrities in him.
My favorite is the one with Pauly Shore
75
00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:17,459
and that orangutan.
76
00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:20,560
Forget about it. I'll never work with
that Pauly Shore again.
77
00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:22,300
And that orangutan.
78
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:27,320
Oh, that orangutan had the worst breath.
And what a prima donna.
79
00:04:27,940 --> 00:04:29,420
Hey, it's Handsome Hal.
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00:04:29,780 --> 00:04:34,140
Welcome to my world, everybody. Now,
which one of you two lovely young ladies
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00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:36,380
should I be focusing my charm radar on?
82
00:04:36,590 --> 00:04:40,370
I don't know about charm radar, but my
cheese detector is flying off the
83
00:04:40,890 --> 00:04:45,230
Wait a minute. Aren't you Faith
Fairfield, the lovely soap opera star?
84
00:04:45,450 --> 00:04:48,010
Even more dazzling in person than you
are on television.
85
00:04:48,270 --> 00:04:50,330
Aren't you a smooth talker.
86
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:54,250
I don't know if you're trying to sell me
a car or ask me out on a date. You take
87
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:55,009
it easy.
88
00:04:55,010 --> 00:04:58,170
I've been happily married for 30 years
to six different women.
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00:04:59,410 --> 00:05:01,910
I love this guy.
90
00:05:02,230 --> 00:05:05,710
You know, a huge star like you shouldn't
be over here looking at humble
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00:05:05,710 --> 00:05:08,980
hatchbacks. No, somebody like you should
be driving something much more exotic,
92
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:10,160
much more expensive.
93
00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:11,940
I couldn't agree more.
94
00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,220
Well, let's just say her budget is
limited.
95
00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:15,780
Light bulb!
96
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,960
You need a fancy car? I need a fancy
star from a new commercial.
97
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:22,800
Pauly, show the orangutan that's
overdone history.
98
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:24,340
This is kismet.
99
00:05:24,580 --> 00:05:28,100
Well, that's very flattering. Bye.
She'll do it.
100
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,380
Charlie, can you give us a second here,
handsome Hal?
101
00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:34,360
Sure, take all the time you want, honey,
but remember this.
102
00:05:34,780 --> 00:05:39,860
With my good looks and her caboose, we
could change the way people feel about
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00:05:39,860 --> 00:05:41,240
pre -owned leasing forever.
104
00:05:44,860 --> 00:05:47,900
What is there to talk about? He just
offered you a free car.
105
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:52,200
Really? A local commercial? Don't you
feel that's a little beneath me? You'll
106
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,200
get on TV again.
107
00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:57,120
And people will certainly recognize you
more. You and your caboose.
108
00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:59,720
I do have a nice caboose.
109
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:01,440
And I do need a car.
110
00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:03,860
Okay, I'll do it.
111
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,640
being on TV with that guy will do much
for my career.
112
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:24,600
So I was thinking maybe we'd have a few
tendrils cascading down the side of my
113
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,860
face and then we'll sweep it up in the
back into a nice French twist, but
114
00:06:27,860 --> 00:06:29,000
nothing too tight.
115
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,020
How about if I just brush it?
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00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:35,900
Brushing is good.
117
00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:37,840
Do you have a round brush?
118
00:06:38,460 --> 00:06:40,860
I'm the receptionist. I only have one
brush.
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00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:42,440
Mine.
120
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,840
Oh, can you take over? Sure.
121
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:47,080
That's my phone.
122
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:53,360
Oh, good. There you are. Were you able
to get me that air -conditioned trailer?
123
00:06:53,740 --> 00:06:57,040
Um, no, but I was able to get your name
on a stall in the women's bathroom.
124
00:06:57,900 --> 00:06:58,900
You'll need this.
125
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,000
Oh.
126
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:01,219
Well, thanks.
127
00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:05,700
Oh, and Aunt Faith, do I really have to
wear this? It's not connected to
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00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:07,500
anything. It's a showpiece, sweetie.
129
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,000
Perception is everything.
130
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:14,680
Is that Faith Fairfield, TV star and
soon -to -be owner of her very own
131
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,780
automobile? One and the same.
132
00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,840
Aw, that is so sweet.
133
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,140
Are you having fun, Sydney?
134
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:24,900
Hang on, Mom. What's that?
135
00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:26,940
Okay, I'm on it. Gotta run.
136
00:07:29,220 --> 00:07:33,120
Hey, where is Handsome Hal anyway? I was
kind of hoping he'd sign a headshot for
137
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:33,879
my office.
138
00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,380
I'll sign a headshot for you.
139
00:07:36,190 --> 00:07:37,290
I'll catch up with him later.
140
00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:39,730
Listen, I'll see you in about an hour.
141
00:07:39,950 --> 00:07:40,929
Where are you going?
142
00:07:40,930 --> 00:07:43,150
Well, it just so happens I've got a
special gift to buy today.
143
00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:45,970
Really? A special gift?
144
00:07:46,570 --> 00:07:47,570
What's the occasion?
145
00:07:47,830 --> 00:07:50,190
Oh, no occasion. I'm just treating
myself to some new car speakers.
146
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,790
Handsome Hal's giving me 20 % off. I
think he really likes me.
147
00:07:55,150 --> 00:07:59,410
Maybe next year you can celebrate the
one -year anniversary of the day Charlie
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00:07:59,410 --> 00:08:00,750
forgot your pretend anniversary.
149
00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:02,570
He didn't forget.
150
00:08:02,790 --> 00:08:04,470
He's just waiting for the last minute.
151
00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:06,100
He knows I like surprises.
152
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,660
It's classic Charlie.
153
00:08:08,260 --> 00:08:10,280
Looking good, HH. Right back at you,
Chaz.
154
00:08:12,020 --> 00:08:16,460
So, you ready to make a little magic?
Not just yet. I had a couple of
155
00:08:16,460 --> 00:08:17,640
regarding the script.
156
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,380
The script? What script?
157
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:20,680
You mean this?
158
00:08:20,780 --> 00:08:25,060
Yes, but more specifically, I'm a little
unsure of my motivation.
159
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:30,080
Your motivation is to read your lines
and look at me adoringly so you can
160
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:31,180
out of here in a free car.
161
00:08:31,710 --> 00:08:35,990
Uh, but it says here I'm supposed to be
captivated by Handsome Hal's good looks
162
00:08:35,990 --> 00:08:37,350
and inescapable charm.
163
00:08:38,590 --> 00:08:39,590
Exactly!
164
00:08:40,289 --> 00:08:41,789
Easiest role you'll ever play.
165
00:08:42,470 --> 00:08:43,510
Okay, places, everyone.
166
00:08:44,150 --> 00:08:45,390
Here's my vision for the scene.
167
00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:49,690
We start out tight on the sign, then
push and rack focus. Phil, Philly, we
168
00:08:49,690 --> 00:08:53,890
know you stole more cars than anybody
else on the lot last month, but it
169
00:08:53,890 --> 00:08:55,930
make you Cecil B. DeMille. You know what
I mean?
170
00:08:56,430 --> 00:08:57,430
Sorry, Dad.
171
00:08:58,350 --> 00:08:59,350
Quiet on the set.
172
00:09:00,530 --> 00:09:01,530
And... Action.
173
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:05,720
Want a great car but don't have a lot of
cash? Then make like Faith Fairfield
174
00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:09,760
and come on down to Handsome Hal's. The
only thing more impressive than his good
175
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,120
looks are his great deal.
176
00:09:11,340 --> 00:09:14,780
But a good deal is... And I should know
because I'm Faith Fairfield, former star
177
00:09:14,780 --> 00:09:17,920
of The Sacred and the Sinful, now
available for movies and miniseries. And
178
00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:19,840
partial nudity is not a problem.
179
00:09:22,180 --> 00:09:23,480
Back to you, Handsome Hal.
180
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:26,340
What do you think you're doing?
181
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,880
I just thought I'd spice up the
commercial a little bit.
182
00:09:29,580 --> 00:09:33,280
Listen to it. I do the funny, you do the
pretty, laugh at my jokes.
183
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:34,540
Got it?
184
00:09:34,820 --> 00:09:36,160
I'm not that good an actress.
185
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,820
Looks like we got another Piazzadora on
our hands.
186
00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:43,340
Okay, from the top.
187
00:09:43,580 --> 00:09:46,640
No, no, no, we don't go from the top. I
gave you gold.
188
00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,580
Let's pick it up where Meryl Streep here
flubbed her lines.
189
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:52,960
All right, ready?
190
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,200
Action!
191
00:09:54,830 --> 00:09:58,110
The only thing more impressive than his
good looks are his great deal.
192
00:09:58,350 --> 00:10:02,450
Not only do I give you a great deal, but
I also give you my word of honor.
193
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:03,950
Nobody!
194
00:10:05,870 --> 00:10:07,990
What's wrong with you? Look, you wanted
the star.
195
00:10:08,210 --> 00:10:09,530
You gotta let her shine.
196
00:10:09,830 --> 00:10:10,830
Listen,
197
00:10:11,710 --> 00:10:16,270
Cupcake, you don't think I know what
you're all about? You don't think I have
198
00:10:16,270 --> 00:10:17,270
your number?
199
00:10:18,490 --> 00:10:19,490
Newsflash!
200
00:10:19,970 --> 00:10:22,550
You're not the only girl in the world I
ever worked with, you know.
201
00:10:22,750 --> 00:10:23,750
What do you think?
202
00:10:23,950 --> 00:10:24,749
I'm an idiot?
203
00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:27,790
I'm supposed to play second fiddle and
fawn all over you?
204
00:10:28,010 --> 00:10:32,290
Oh, handsome Hal, you're so handsome and
honest, you drive me crazy with your
205
00:10:32,290 --> 00:10:34,610
good looks and keen fashion sense.
206
00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:39,810
Well, forget it, because I'm a famous
soap opera star, and you, you're just a
207
00:10:39,810 --> 00:10:40,890
used car salesman.
208
00:10:41,690 --> 00:10:47,350
With a brand new Bentley, fully loaded,
with a timeshare at Cedar Point,
209
00:10:47,490 --> 00:10:48,690
Christmas guaranteed.
210
00:10:50,220 --> 00:10:53,960
And season ticket to the Fighting Irish
of Notre Dame. Oh, yeah?
211
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,620
Well, the only two words I understood in
all of that was Bentley and Christmas.
212
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:00,160
She's impossible.
213
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,280
I never thought I'd miss Corbin Bernson.
214
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:03,500
Never!
215
00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:07,280
I have half a mind to walk off this
thing. Go ahead.
216
00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:08,660
Nobody's stopping you.
217
00:11:08,940 --> 00:11:10,220
I am, actually.
218
00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:14,000
What about the car that we all need,
that we were getting for free?
219
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,220
It's not free if it costs me my dignity.
220
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,760
I'd rather have you buy me my car.
221
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:23,320
Oh, I pity the man that has to wake up
to that every morning.
222
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:32,620
Hey, beautiful.
223
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:34,440
Was your day as great as mine?
224
00:11:34,980 --> 00:11:40,260
Why? What's going on? Oh, just a couple
tickets I got for this Friday night.
225
00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:44,060
Oh, Charlie, the Pops are in town? No,
but the Lakers are. They're playing the
226
00:11:44,060 --> 00:11:45,060
Cavs.
227
00:11:46,180 --> 00:11:47,780
Bloodhound got courtside seats.
228
00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:52,020
Who's the bloodhound?
229
00:11:52,180 --> 00:11:55,800
Last week, I went out with Todd. He had
a few too many beers, so I was driving
230
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:56,459
us home.
231
00:11:56,460 --> 00:11:59,680
Todd had his head out the window the
whole way, mouth open, drool flying.
232
00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:03,480
And it kind of reminded me of...
Bloodhound is Todd.
233
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,500
So, sounds like you're busy tomorrow
night?
234
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:09,920
Yeah. Is that a problem?
235
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,040
Tomorrow's Friday, right? Yeah.
236
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:14,440
November 7th?
237
00:12:14,620 --> 00:12:16,980
Yeah. So, can I tell the hound it's a
go?
238
00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:19,560
Sure.
239
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,400
Have fun.
240
00:12:25,860 --> 00:12:26,860
What's wrong?
241
00:12:27,460 --> 00:12:29,320
You were right about Charlie.
242
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:32,900
I guess the only reason he remembers our
anniversaries is because I remind him.
243
00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:34,700
You want to talk about it?
244
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,780
Because I'm here for you, and you have
my undivided attention.
245
00:12:39,180 --> 00:12:40,300
Aunt Faith is on TV!
246
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:41,680
I am? Hit record!
247
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:42,880
Hit record!
248
00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:46,140
Want a great car but don't have a lot of
cash?
249
00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:49,660
Then make like Faith Fairfield and come
on down to Handsome Hound.
250
00:12:50,180 --> 00:12:53,380
Tell me, Faith, do you have trouble
making decisions about cars?
251
00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:54,760
I have half of mine.
252
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:57,440
What was that?
253
00:12:57,680 --> 00:12:58,880
I have half of mine.
254
00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:00,860
What happened to the other half?
255
00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:04,620
There
256
00:13:04,620 --> 00:13:11,900
was
257
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:12,900
no donkey there.
258
00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:15,480
There's always an animal. That's the
bit.
259
00:13:16,860 --> 00:13:18,740
Now that we've worked together, tell me.
260
00:13:19,260 --> 00:13:20,600
What do you really think about me?
261
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:26,040
Oh, Handsome Hal, you're so handsome and
honest, you drive me crazy.
262
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,700
It's not just my pretty face, people.
263
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:33,040
It's my deals, deals, deals.
264
00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:38,120
And finally, how on earth is it that
Faith Fairfield has never shopped at
265
00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:39,160
Handsome Hal's before?
266
00:13:54,730 --> 00:13:57,450
It's like he found my diary and read
each word aloud.
267
00:13:59,290 --> 00:14:00,310
This means war.
268
00:14:00,850 --> 00:14:02,510
Handsome Hal's messed with the wrong
cupcake.
269
00:14:02,730 --> 00:14:05,170
I have half of mine. I'd find a new
catchphrase if I were you.
270
00:14:06,830 --> 00:14:11,550
Handsome Hal. He's not going to get away
with this. It wasn't so bad.
271
00:14:11,910 --> 00:14:13,830
I'm sure most people didn't even see it.
272
00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:15,250
Oh, we're lucky for them.
273
00:14:31,530 --> 00:14:34,470
a weasel ever tells, because when I get
my hands around his slippery throat, I'm
274
00:14:34,470 --> 00:14:37,950
going to rip his lying tongue out of it.
Faith, what are we here to do?
275
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:40,470
I was just telling you, and you cut me
off. No!
276
00:14:41,150 --> 00:14:44,650
We want an apology, we want the car he
promised you, and we want that
277
00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:47,990
off the air. None of which will happen
if you rip his lying tongue out of his
278
00:14:47,990 --> 00:14:48,990
slippery throat.
279
00:14:49,550 --> 00:14:50,550
You're right.
280
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:51,769
You're right.
281
00:14:51,770 --> 00:14:52,770
I'm calm.
282
00:14:52,970 --> 00:14:54,030
I'm in complete control.
283
00:14:54,390 --> 00:14:55,390
I'm at peace.
284
00:14:56,370 --> 00:14:57,370
Um...
285
00:15:02,090 --> 00:15:03,110
I'm guessing you've seen the commercial.
286
00:15:03,430 --> 00:15:05,210
Yes, that's why we're here.
287
00:15:05,470 --> 00:15:06,730
Cut together nicely, didn't it?
288
00:15:07,090 --> 00:15:09,750
Switch this girl to D -cam.
289
00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:15,010
Look, maybe what I did was wrong. Great
television, but wrong.
290
00:15:15,650 --> 00:15:16,870
Damn straight it was wrong.
291
00:15:17,210 --> 00:15:20,430
But I gotta tell you the response I'm
getting, through the roof!
292
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:23,790
I had no idea how much America loves
you. I mean loves!
293
00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:28,530
Really? Faith, remember why we came
here.
294
00:15:29,460 --> 00:15:32,880
Listen, I put an ad in the paper saying
you'd make a personal appearance at 3 o
295
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,860
'clock. And you should see the turnout.
296
00:15:35,420 --> 00:15:36,420
There's a turnout?
297
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:38,280
My fans are here?
298
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:40,320
That's right, Dimples.
299
00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:44,220
I can't believe you think my sister
would fall for such a cheap and obvious
300
00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:45,220
stunt.
301
00:15:45,460 --> 00:15:48,080
She is here for the car you owe her, and
that's it.
302
00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:49,620
Right, Faith?
303
00:15:58,280 --> 00:15:59,280
and you got it.
304
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,500
Faith Fairfield.
305
00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:04,140
Thank you.
306
00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:07,720
Tell me something. Who here liked that
commercial with Faith Fairfield?
307
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,560
And who'd like to see a bunch more?
308
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,060
And how about a half of the donkey?
309
00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:16,460
I paid him an ounce.
310
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,900
Hey, Faith, what's it like working with
Handsome Hal?
311
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:23,080
Oh, you mean after I got over how
handsome he is?
312
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,200
Like any woman could get over that.
Check out these guns, baby.
313
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:30,060
Had chemistry right from the start.
314
00:16:30,340 --> 00:16:34,060
Lightning in a bottle. He's so easy to
get along with. That's true. So
315
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:39,300
More true. And honest. Even truer. And
generous. People she cannot tell a lie.
316
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:44,420
As a matter of fact, in exchange for
doing our first commercial, Handsome Hal
317
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,000
here promised me a free car.
318
00:16:46,260 --> 00:16:47,280
Didn't you, Handsome Hal?
319
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:48,780
I certainly did.
320
00:16:49,060 --> 00:16:50,620
And not just any car.
321
00:16:50,820 --> 00:16:52,720
He promised me his car.
322
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,700
Isn't that right, Handsome Hal?
323
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:57,800
I drive a brand new Bentley.
324
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,520
No, I drive a brand new Bentley.
325
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,400
Or I don't do any more commercials.
326
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,740
How about a red midsize convertible?
Leather interior?
327
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:08,999
No. CD player?
328
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:09,699
No. Airbag?
329
00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:11,040
Absolutely not. Deal. Done.
330
00:17:13,839 --> 00:17:17,480
How long do I have to be in this
business before I can work alone?
331
00:17:17,940 --> 00:17:18,940
How long?
332
00:17:33,159 --> 00:17:34,159
Happy anniversary.
333
00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:37,580
Charlie, I knew you'd remember.
334
00:17:38,060 --> 00:17:39,980
I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.
335
00:17:41,140 --> 00:17:44,600
Now go put on that new dress you bought
and make it fast. We have a dinner
336
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:45,600
reservation at 8.
337
00:17:46,180 --> 00:17:48,000
8 .15 at Chez Pierre.
338
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,900
And the tux is due back tomorrow by
noon. And I charged the roses to your
339
00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:52,900
card.
340
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:54,720
Thanks, Faith.
341
00:17:55,200 --> 00:18:00,440
Look, I know you and I don't always see
eye to eye, but you really saved my butt
342
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:01,440
on this one.
343
00:18:02,190 --> 00:18:05,450
I just feel like I should try and say
something nice to you.
344
00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:09,370
But I just can't think of anything.
345
00:18:11,270 --> 00:18:13,010
Charlie, can you come up here for a
second?
346
00:18:14,910 --> 00:18:15,910
Oh, Faith?
347
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:18,270
I still got nothing.
348
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:26,730
Wow.
349
00:18:26,870 --> 00:18:28,890
You look good enough to kiss.
350
00:18:29,970 --> 00:18:31,270
How did you know I bought a new dress?
351
00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:36,880
Faith reminded you about our
anniversary, didn't she?
352
00:18:37,540 --> 00:18:39,080
She might have dropped a hint in
passing.
353
00:18:39,780 --> 00:18:40,960
That was very sweet of her.
354
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:46,960
So, would you remember all our little
anniversaries if I didn't remind you?
355
00:18:47,180 --> 00:18:48,180
Maybe.
356
00:18:49,580 --> 00:18:50,580
Not so much.
357
00:18:52,060 --> 00:18:53,060
You think they're ridiculous?
358
00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:56,620
I wouldn't say they're ridiculous, but
our first parking ticket? I think we
359
00:18:56,620 --> 00:18:57,620
could lose that one.
360
00:18:58,100 --> 00:19:00,960
On the other hand, I really enjoyed the
cufflinks I got last year.
361
00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:05,300
I could stop if you want.
362
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,780
Honestly, I'd hate that.
363
00:19:08,260 --> 00:19:12,160
I may not remember them, but I really
love the fact that you do.
364
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,500
You know what anniversary I love the
most?
365
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,360
February 7th, 1987.
366
00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:22,840
Shady Point Inn.
367
00:19:23,380 --> 00:19:24,700
Oh, Charlie.
368
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:27,520
It was February 17th.
369
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:29,720
But close enough.
370
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:42,320
Hurry, hurry.
371
00:19:42,740 --> 00:19:47,460
Tell me something, Faith Fairfield. How
do you go from being a major soap star
372
00:19:47,460 --> 00:19:49,960
to doing used car commercials in the
Midwest?
373
00:19:51,300 --> 00:19:52,760
I'm not that good of an actress.
374
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:57,120
Well, you don't have to be a great
actress to get a great deal at Handsome
375
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:59,460
Hal's. One final question, Faith.
376
00:19:59,940 --> 00:20:01,520
How do you keep that girlish figure?
377
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:03,320
Airbag?
378
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:07,260
Whoa, too much information.
379
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:12,940
But if you need information about a
great car, come on down to... Handsome
380
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,600
He's as honest as he is handsome.
381
00:20:16,380 --> 00:20:17,380
Handsome Hal.
382
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,020
He's as honest as he is handsome.
383
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:21,820
Right, Faith?
384
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:29,160
I did not see that cow coming.
385
00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:30,680
That's the genius.
386
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,360
Four people recognized me at the gym
today.
387
00:20:36,940 --> 00:20:37,940
And now this.
30423
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