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1
00:00:14,260 --> 00:00:16,040
No. What? Out. Why?
2
00:00:16,260 --> 00:00:17,460
Sunday, football, go.
3
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:19,340
Sister, married, eight.
4
00:00:22,980 --> 00:00:26,820
Okay, you can stay and watch, but you
have to be quiet. This is a big game.
5
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:28,900
Don't worry. You won't even know I'm
here.
6
00:00:32,780 --> 00:00:35,860
See, now, why do they make them wear
those helmets? You can't even pick out
7
00:00:35,860 --> 00:00:36,860
cute ones.
8
00:00:37,380 --> 00:00:40,020
I suppose you can tell something from
their butts.
9
00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:42,600
I'm starting to know you're here.
10
00:00:44,730 --> 00:00:46,130
He's got a great butt.
11
00:00:46,730 --> 00:00:48,290
Ooh, that guy's butt's better.
12
00:00:49,330 --> 00:00:50,390
Whose butt do you prefer?
13
00:00:54,310 --> 00:00:57,050
Where are you going? The guy's running
with a thingy.
14
00:00:59,210 --> 00:01:01,790
Yeah, well, just let me know if he
scores the watch -a -ma -hoozy.
15
00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:06,490
Ah, there she is. My favorite child.
16
00:01:06,730 --> 00:01:08,350
I am not babysitting Aunt Faith again.
17
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,950
Please? I'll send you to college.
18
00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:16,360
You made me watch four hours of The
Sacred and the Sinful. On video?
19
00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:17,700
In person.
20
00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:21,860
She reenacted three weddings, two comas,
and an exorcism.
21
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:23,960
Hey. Hey.
22
00:01:24,580 --> 00:01:25,580
Guess what I'm doing.
23
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,960
I'm watching football with Faith.
24
00:01:28,220 --> 00:01:29,220
It sucked.
25
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,220
Oh, she's driving us crazy.
26
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,780
Now, come on. She hasn't made any
friends here yet. So even though it
27
00:01:37,780 --> 00:01:41,200
challenging at times, we need to include
her.
28
00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:45,780
So? Why don't you include her in your
book club tomorrow night? Yeah, she
29
00:01:45,780 --> 00:01:46,780
start reading right now.
30
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:48,020
I doubt she'd be interested.
31
00:01:48,380 --> 00:01:49,380
Interested in what?
32
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,980
Her book club. Oh, I love clubs.
33
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When is it? Tomorrow night.
34
00:01:54,140 --> 00:01:57,620
Oh, could you excuse us for a second?
35
00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:59,960
Hey, you can excuse me until the
playoffs.
36
00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:02,840
Faith,
37
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:07,380
look, book club is the one thing that I
do just for myself. I mean, Charlie even
38
00:02:07,380 --> 00:02:10,139
takes the kids out so there won't be any
interruptions. Oh, thank God.
39
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,120
Because as much as I love playing with
the kids, I need some downtime.
40
00:02:13,340 --> 00:02:16,080
I mean, it's to the point where I see
them and I have to run the other way.
41
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:20,680
Okay.
42
00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:26,580
What I'm trying to say is, book club
is... Well, what I really need is... I'm
43
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,180
not a psychic! Spit it out!
44
00:02:29,780 --> 00:02:30,780
I love you.
45
00:02:31,420 --> 00:02:32,420
You're not invited.
46
00:02:39,310 --> 00:02:40,310
Please don't be upset.
47
00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:41,910
I'm not upset.
48
00:02:43,150 --> 00:02:44,150
Not at all.
49
00:02:45,390 --> 00:02:47,970
I don't need you or anyone else to have
a good time.
50
00:02:48,910 --> 00:02:49,910
Justin!
51
00:02:50,890 --> 00:02:53,190
Come play beauty pageant with Aunt Faith
again!
52
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,960
You'll make me snickerdoodles for
Jerry's birthday.
53
00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:29,220
All right, that's next week at the Oak
Room. Just keep your husband away from
54
00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:30,320
the karaoke machine, please.
55
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,800
How can one man know so many songs by
air supply?
56
00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:37,280
Just be glad you missed his MC Hammer
face, okay?
57
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:55,120
pretend I'm not here.
58
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,700
I thought you went to a movie.
59
00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:00,120
I was going to, but I hadn't finished my
chores, and I know how you get.
60
00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:05,180
You all remember my sister, Faith.
61
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,400
Yes, hello. Nice to see you again.
62
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:11,080
Please carry on. I just came down to get
clean rags.
63
00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:15,100
Oh, before I forget, I borrowed your
book.
64
00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:18,000
I couldn't put it down. What a read.
65
00:04:18,779 --> 00:04:19,779
What a journey.
66
00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:22,880
I was particularly moved by the flowers
in the snow.
67
00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:24,420
Really? Us too.
68
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:29,280
Oh, are those Hope's famous knicker
doodles? Yes, would you like one?
69
00:04:30,780 --> 00:04:31,780
I'd better not.
70
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:38,200
I'll just be upstairs in my room that I
share with Hope's children.
71
00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:42,260
Faith, could I have a word in the
kitchen?
72
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:43,500
Was something not clean enough?
73
00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:45,280
Now.
74
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,580
What do you think you're doing? Well, I
was about to get started on the sheet.
75
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:53,660
Knock it. Get off.
76
00:04:54,820 --> 00:04:56,460
How long were you listening on the
stairs?
77
00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:58,480
I don't know what you're talking about.
78
00:04:58,740 --> 00:04:59,619
Yeah, right.
79
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:02,420
You made it look like you were
Cinderella and I was the evil
80
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:04,180
Now there's an interesting metaphor.
81
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:07,640
Please.
82
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,800
All right.
83
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:14,480
If it means that much to you, you can
come to book club. Oh, thank you, thank
84
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,500
you. You won't regret it. Now come
upstairs and help me pick out what to
85
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:18,980
What you're wearing is fine.
86
00:05:19,660 --> 00:05:22,020
Fine? Fine isn't going to turn any
heads.
87
00:05:22,380 --> 00:05:23,560
Stop. Right there.
88
00:05:23,820 --> 00:05:27,160
No one cares what you're wearing. This
is not about you or your life on the
89
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,300
or your thousands of boyfriends or your
Emmy.
90
00:05:29,540 --> 00:05:33,640
We're here to talk about the book. I get
it, I get it. So jeans, cardigan, maybe
91
00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:34,760
reading glasses on a chain.
92
00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:39,640
Great news, everyone.
93
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:41,380
Faith is joining book club tonight.
94
00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:42,700
Oh, welcome.
95
00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:44,440
This is such an honor.
96
00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,280
How about that book?
97
00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,340
I was hooked on page one.
98
00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:51,540
I'll tell you what hooked me. The photo
of the author on the back cover.
99
00:05:51,950 --> 00:05:53,090
I could take a dip in those dimples.
100
00:05:54,810 --> 00:05:59,230
Moving beyond the cover. Is it your
first book club? Yes, yes. I'm afraid I
101
00:05:59,230 --> 00:06:01,610
didn't get a chance to read as much as I
liked when I was on the soap.
102
00:06:03,270 --> 00:06:04,209
Oh, yes.
103
00:06:04,210 --> 00:06:07,350
Tell us. Oh, you must have a lot of wild
stories.
104
00:06:08,530 --> 00:06:09,750
Nope. Nope.
105
00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:11,890
Not a one. It was surprisingly dull.
106
00:06:12,410 --> 00:06:13,510
Let's talk about the book.
107
00:06:14,190 --> 00:06:17,650
So, we were talking about Ileana finding
the flowers in the snow.
108
00:06:17,890 --> 00:06:20,350
Yes, I thought the snow was so
oppressive.
109
00:06:20,650 --> 00:06:22,230
I could really relate to her situation.
110
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:26,010
Because when I was trapped in that
avalanche for three weeks and forced to
111
00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:30,510
my half -sister... Getting back to the
book. I love that storyline.
112
00:06:30,730 --> 00:06:33,410
Was that the time your plane crashed in
the Andes while you were bringing
113
00:06:33,410 --> 00:06:34,410
vaccine to the villagers?
114
00:06:34,690 --> 00:06:36,790
That plane crash was so terrifying.
115
00:06:37,250 --> 00:06:41,070
Little secret, the set wasn't even
moving. We were all just going like
116
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:42,610
No!
117
00:06:54,270 --> 00:06:55,750
Oh, I have one.
118
00:06:57,770 --> 00:07:01,430
Well, I suppose one margarita wouldn't
hurt.
119
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:48,900
A special night out with me and my kids.
All right, who's ready for a little
120
00:07:48,900 --> 00:07:49,900
family fun? Come on.
121
00:07:51,780 --> 00:07:52,780
Fun!
122
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,040
Why couldn't we go to the observatory?
123
00:07:56,340 --> 00:07:58,940
Don't worry. I think you'll find just as
many losers here.
124
00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:00,180
Oh, come on.
125
00:08:00,420 --> 00:08:03,280
Let's find a game we can all play
together. Ooh, is that Mr. Boostball at
126
00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:04,320
'clock? Cool!
127
00:08:04,980 --> 00:08:05,980
Roadkill!
128
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:08,700
I'll be in the food court.
129
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,660
Well, looks like it's just you and me,
kiddo.
130
00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:21,560
Well, I thought maybe we could play a
little... Good times.
131
00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:26,700
Did your kids ditch you, too?
132
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,820
We have some unfinished business to
attend to, you and I.
133
00:10:46,570 --> 00:10:47,710
We're going home.
134
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,140
And prison is cold for something else.
135
00:14:11,420 --> 00:14:12,980
You may have just proposed.
136
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:17,320
She didn't mean that.
137
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:18,780
She hates your hair.
138
00:14:42,890 --> 00:14:43,950
I should have known better.
139
00:14:44,730 --> 00:14:48,130
Faith was just doing what she always
does, and I let it happen.
140
00:14:49,010 --> 00:14:50,430
There's no one to blame here but me.
141
00:14:51,470 --> 00:14:52,470
That's true.
142
00:14:55,210 --> 00:14:57,890
You don't see that you had any part in
it? Me?
143
00:14:58,330 --> 00:14:59,330
What did I do?
144
00:14:59,570 --> 00:15:00,570
Let's tally it up.
145
00:15:00,990 --> 00:15:03,390
First, I said, I don't want you to come
to book club.
146
00:15:03,730 --> 00:15:06,350
And what did you do? I came to book
club. Won nothing.
147
00:15:07,930 --> 00:15:09,910
Second, I said I didn't want to go to a
strip club.
148
00:15:10,230 --> 00:15:11,230
And what did we do?
149
00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:14,070
We went to a strip club. Honey, if you
don't make these questions more
150
00:15:14,070 --> 00:15:15,470
difficult, I'm totally going to win.
151
00:15:15,890 --> 00:15:19,290
Third, I said I didn't want to toilet
paper Mr. Murphy's house.
152
00:15:19,830 --> 00:15:24,430
And what happened? We plastered the hell
out of it. But you stayed in the car,
153
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:28,150
so I'm going to give you a half a point
for that one. This isn't a game. You can
154
00:15:28,150 --> 00:15:29,150
say that again.
155
00:15:29,230 --> 00:15:30,230
Let's play I Spy.
156
00:15:30,410 --> 00:15:31,410
Faith!
157
00:15:32,210 --> 00:15:35,370
Okay, okay, I'm sorry I took over your
book club.
158
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:38,630
But I can't help it if I'm fun and
spontaneous.
159
00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:40,150
You have to be the center of attention.
160
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:45,280
and make me feel like a big boar. You're
not a boar. Not at all. You're a lot of
161
00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:46,860
fun. Remember Cancun?
162
00:15:47,420 --> 00:15:51,080
You're the one who got us all to parent
sale. And remember those belly dancing
163
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:54,300
classes? Those were your ideas. After
three kids, I didn't think this belly
164
00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:55,300
could shake.
165
00:15:57,060 --> 00:15:58,580
Yeah, it was a pretty good ab workout.
166
00:16:01,260 --> 00:16:03,940
I thought book club was at our house,
not the big house.
167
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:07,640
Ladies, your husbands are here. You're
free to go.
168
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:27,700
the kids now, or do you want to just
show them the mug shots in the morning?
169
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:30,640
Well, look on the bright side.
170
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,180
At least we have a headline for our
family Christmas letter.
171
00:16:34,740 --> 00:16:37,960
I'll be upstairs just in case you want
to have a conjugal visit.
172
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:40,640
Hmm.
173
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,180
Hope goes good with a big sister
lecture.
174
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:45,080
There's not going to be a lecture.
175
00:16:45,340 --> 00:16:46,340
I'm going to bed.
176
00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:48,720
Okay, but you know what they say, never
go to bed angry.
177
00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:50,520
I'm not angry.
178
00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:51,599
Yes, you are.
179
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:52,880
No, I'm not. Yes, you are.
180
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:54,120
No, I'm not.
181
00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:55,140
Okay.
182
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:59,000
Hmm, that looks good. Pizza ice cream.
183
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:04,180
Ooh, nothing says I told you so like
waffle smothered in hard feelings and
184
00:17:04,180 --> 00:17:05,180
blame.
185
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:10,040
See, this is what drives me crazy. All
you do is make jokes.
186
00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:11,819
Why can't you just be real for once?
187
00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:14,819
What are you talking about? I'm always
real.
188
00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:19,000
No, you're not. You always have to be
on. Like tonight.
189
00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:22,619
It's not enough that you're just part of
my book club. You have to be the life
190
00:17:22,619 --> 00:17:23,619
of the party.
191
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,060
That's what people like about me.
192
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,280
No, it isn't.
193
00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:28,240
Are you always on with your friends?
194
00:17:29,180 --> 00:17:30,180
I don't know.
195
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:31,440
I don't have any friends.
196
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:32,860
Of course you do.
197
00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:36,240
You have lots of friends out there in
Hollywood. Like Stan.
198
00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:37,840
You two were inseparable.
199
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,420
He was my publicist.
200
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:41,219
What about Jim?
201
00:17:41,220 --> 00:17:42,220
Agent.
202
00:17:42,820 --> 00:17:44,780
Richard and Doreen? Trainer. Psychic.
203
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,020
They're still your friends.
204
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:49,300
Were.
205
00:17:49,460 --> 00:17:51,220
We seem to have grown apart.
206
00:17:51,660 --> 00:17:53,160
You know, since I stopped.
207
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:54,440
Paying them.
208
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:56,720
I don't believe that.
209
00:17:58,100 --> 00:17:59,560
I'm not like you, Hope.
210
00:17:59,780 --> 00:18:03,240
You have real friends that want to hang
out with you for no apparent reason.
211
00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:06,440
Thanks a lot.
212
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:07,800
You know what I mean.
213
00:18:08,340 --> 00:18:11,880
You don't have to be rich or famous for
people to like you.
214
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:13,440
Neither do you.
215
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:15,220
You just have to be yourself.
216
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:17,760
That's so boring.
217
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:19,980
Can I be a little fabulous?
218
00:18:22,340 --> 00:18:26,760
Trust me. With you, a little fabulous
goes a long way.
219
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,200
How about those waffles?
220
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:32,740
Hey, you know what goes great with
waffles?
221
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:34,600
Margaritas.
222
00:18:36,140 --> 00:18:37,140
Or milk.
223
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,040
Milk is good.
224
00:18:45,380 --> 00:18:47,900
Okay, everyone check your order. Make
sure they got it right.
225
00:18:48,260 --> 00:18:50,960
I didn't get my whistle.
226
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:52,280
I'm sick of eating out.
227
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:56,060
I'm sorry. We have to until your mother
finishes her community service. Excuse
228
00:18:56,060 --> 00:18:58,180
me. You forgot our fries.
229
00:19:02,820 --> 00:19:03,820
Fries!
230
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:11,280
Next time, try to speak directly into
the clown's mouth.
17700
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