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1
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:19,480
You know we don't have to talk about it
We got a different way But you know in
2
00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:25,280
the end we can laugh about it You know
we can drive each other crazy You know
3
00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:30,540
don't have to worry We will live, we
will laugh And we'll love each other
4
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:57,880
bucks we ever spent.
5
00:00:58,740 --> 00:01:00,520
Yeah, because we'd hate to have a
jacuzzi.
6
00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:04,500
Quit it. Quit it. Hello.
7
00:01:04,739 --> 00:01:07,100
Mom. No, no break in. Just breakfast.
8
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,680
Yeah, I'll tell her it's not a toy.
9
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:13,440
You know what happens to little girls
who cry wolf?
10
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:17,660
Why don't you show me? I could take a
long lunch today. So could I.
11
00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:19,940
Gross.
12
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,460
Why aren't you dressed for school?
13
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:24,680
I'm not going to school. I don't have
anything to wear.
14
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:26,640
Nothing a boy hasn't felt you up in.
15
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:32,020
Why can't Jimmy sleep in his room when
Aunt Faith comes to visit?
16
00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:35,000
As if. Your aunt is going through a very
hard time.
17
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:37,700
Just because you got killed off that
stupid soap?
18
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,499
What's this?
19
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:41,500
Tofu scramble.
20
00:01:41,580 --> 00:01:42,580
No, seriously.
21
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,980
No more fat and sugar in the morning.
We're eating healthy.
22
00:01:46,380 --> 00:01:48,540
Oh, by the way, Faith borrowed your car.
23
00:01:48,780 --> 00:01:49,780
I hope you don't mind.
24
00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:20,320
We appreciate the thought, but we're
trying to eat healthy.
25
00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:23,080
Oh, I see.
26
00:02:23,780 --> 00:02:24,780
I understand.
27
00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:27,220
You don't want me to eat healthy.
28
00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:17,620
to stop watching this i gave the sacred
and the sinful the best years of my life
29
00:03:17,620 --> 00:03:24,040
and how do they repay me with a cheap
evil twin murder suicide
30
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,540
How is a woman over 30 can't get
arrested in Hollywood?
31
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,080
And yet you managed.
32
00:03:47,540 --> 00:03:48,540
Twice.
33
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:52,100
I don't know what I'm going to do. For
the first time in my life, I feel so
34
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,860
useless. I have no script, no role. I
don't know who to be.
35
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:56,740
Why don't you just be yourself?
36
00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,480
What do you mean?
37
00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:08,920
Just what makes that little old aunt
think he can move a...
38
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,300
Rubber tree plant?
39
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:48,500
that to school.
40
00:04:48,540 --> 00:04:50,700
See? I think she looks darling.
41
00:04:51,180 --> 00:04:52,180
Darling?
42
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,260
She's 15. How's she supposed to look,
huh?
43
00:04:55,780 --> 00:04:56,780
Duh.
44
00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:01,060
Come on, Sydney. I got a juicy suit that
ought to fit you. Cool. Oh, no.
45
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,540
Mom, you don't even know what a juicy
suit is. I don't have to.
46
00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:07,860
You're not wearing anything squeezable.
47
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,460
You're such a prude.
48
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:15,880
I am not a prude. You're right. She used
to shower in her bathing suit in the
49
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:16,880
girls' gym.
50
00:05:19,310 --> 00:05:20,310
Two pieces.
51
00:05:21,810 --> 00:05:23,970
I'm glad to see your moods have
improved.
52
00:05:24,810 --> 00:05:28,870
I expect you to be downstairs in five
minutes, dressed for school.
53
00:05:29,210 --> 00:05:32,110
And she wears her bra to bed. Shut up!
54
00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:36,090
I need...
55
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:51,520
May I help you? Yeah.
56
00:05:52,980 --> 00:05:58,740
I'm looking for something sexy, but not
too, you know, whorish.
57
00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:01,520
So this is for your husband?
58
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:03,940
Yeah. We're having a date this
afternoon.
59
00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:10,260
Which probably sounds strange, that we
have to make a date. But we have three
60
00:06:10,260 --> 00:06:14,960
kids, and my sister's staying with us,
so it's been kind of hard to find the
61
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:15,960
time.
62
00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:18,660
Not that we haven't found the time,
because we do.
63
00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:20,060
Do.
64
00:06:23,810 --> 00:06:25,090
Yes. How about this?
65
00:06:27,690 --> 00:06:28,950
As I said, I've had three kids.
66
00:06:29,950 --> 00:06:32,930
Perhaps something that provides a little
more coverage? Yeah, like a burka.
67
00:07:02,670 --> 00:07:03,910
Sydney's not with me. She should be in
school.
68
00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:06,510
Okay, I'll be right there.
69
00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:07,750
Shall I ring this up?
70
00:07:08,050 --> 00:07:09,750
No! I can't wear that.
71
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,130
I'm a mother.
72
00:07:16,090 --> 00:07:17,090
Did you find Sydney?
73
00:07:20,210 --> 00:07:23,750
Apparently, Sydney left campus with her
aunt to go shopping, and they lost track
74
00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:24,749
of time.
75
00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:26,530
It was only lunch. And English.
76
00:07:26,890 --> 00:07:28,610
Like she's ever going to use that in
real life.
77
00:07:29,910 --> 00:07:32,410
The point is, students aren't allowed to
leave campus.
78
00:07:32,780 --> 00:07:33,900
without parental consent.
79
00:07:34,380 --> 00:07:35,720
Well, I didn't know that.
80
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,280
But Sidney does.
81
00:07:37,580 --> 00:07:40,540
This is a serious offense, young lady. I
could suspend you from school.
82
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:46,660
But I think in your case, I'll suspend
you from the homecoming dance.
83
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,020
The homecoming dance?
84
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:49,580
I think that's a fair punishment.
85
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:52,100
Fair? It's inhumane. They might as well
cane her.
86
00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:54,580
Excuse me. We are so sorry to interrupt.
87
00:07:55,420 --> 00:07:58,280
Aren't you Ashley Storm from The Sacred
and the Sinful?
88
00:07:58,620 --> 00:07:59,620
Why, yes.
89
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,940
We were devastated when they killed you
off.
90
00:08:04,180 --> 00:08:05,200
Wait a minute.
91
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:09,240
I had no idea. You were a TV star.
92
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:13,300
She won a daytime Emmy. I should have
won, too.
93
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:14,640
I play twins.
94
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:19,680
Tell me, were you a good girl or a bad
girl?
95
00:08:21,220 --> 00:08:22,220
That depends.
96
00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:24,160
Which would you prefer?
97
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:28,920
Getting back to Sydney.
98
00:08:29,180 --> 00:08:30,180
Yes, I mean...
99
00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:35,460
Expension really necessary, Mr. Tisdale.
I mean, what if Sidney organized a
100
00:08:35,460 --> 00:08:39,919
fundraiser for the dance? No, no, that's
a great idea. I mean, tomorrow's career
101
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:43,440
day. What if you threw a bake sale in
the quad?
102
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:45,300
Yes.
103
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:46,900
We could bake things.
104
00:08:48,220 --> 00:08:49,980
And sell them for money.
105
00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:54,340
Can we make a cake with Justin
Timberlake's face on it? Totally. And
106
00:08:54,340 --> 00:08:55,680
headshots and sign autographs.
107
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,680
sound like much of a punishment. I think
Mr. Tisdale's initial instincts were
108
00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:05,680
correct.
109
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,020
Sidney, you knowingly broke the rules.
110
00:09:09,740 --> 00:09:10,740
I'm sorry.
111
00:09:10,780 --> 00:09:12,560
You're never on my side.
112
00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:15,180
I wish Aunt Faith was my mother.
113
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,840
She didn't mean that.
114
00:09:22,780 --> 00:09:25,220
Everyone knows I'm not old enough to be
her mother.
115
00:09:32,790 --> 00:09:38,390
Champagne, flowers, angry wife.
116
00:09:39,030 --> 00:09:40,790
She's driving me crazy.
117
00:09:41,010 --> 00:09:42,010
Who?
118
00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:06,520
be a punishment for Sydney. It's going
to be me doing all the baking because
119
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:10,340
she's 15 and the last thing you did in
the kitchen was your personal trainer.
120
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:16,300
Oh, please.
121
00:10:16,460 --> 00:10:22,760
I'm not an idiot. And just to prove to
you that I'm not incontinent, Sydney and
122
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:26,740
I will bake our own Justin Timberlake
cake without any help from you. Fine.
123
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:30,360
Just a little tip. The oven is the one
that heats things up and the
124
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,880
keeps them cold. That's it. I'm not
speaking to you.
125
00:10:36,030 --> 00:10:37,009
Hi, honey.
126
00:10:37,010 --> 00:10:38,010
I'm home.
127
00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:41,470
Right.
128
00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:42,850
Come on.
129
00:10:50,490 --> 00:10:53,190
You want to talk about it? No, let's
just do it.
130
00:10:55,170 --> 00:10:57,090
Wow. Just like the movies.
131
00:10:58,270 --> 00:11:00,590
Bacon. What kind of punishment is that?
132
00:11:00,850 --> 00:11:01,930
Baking cookies is fun.
133
00:11:02,170 --> 00:11:03,170
It's a special...
134
00:11:11,180 --> 00:11:13,620
She practically gave him a lap dance.
135
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:20,740
Try to keep in mind, this is my lunch
hour.
136
00:11:21,980 --> 00:11:26,880
I'm sorry, but she had no right to use
her celebrity to usurp my authority as
137
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:27,699
Cindy's mother.
138
00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:29,180
Well, then ask her to go home.
139
00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:30,940
I beg you.
140
00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:34,440
She has no home, no career, no money.
141
00:11:36,180 --> 00:11:37,180
No money?
142
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:40,700
My arm.
143
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:52,440
this right now let's get it on what kind
of idiot works on a soap opera for 10
144
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:57,380
years and doesn't save any money don't
call my sister an idiot why not you do
145
00:11:57,380 --> 00:12:03,780
all the time that's different she's
family yeah well this is my family and
146
00:12:03,780 --> 00:12:09,980
is my house your house
147
00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,600
well you know what i mean
148
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:18,340
letting your sister ruin all our lives.
She's not ruining our lives. Oh, that's
149
00:12:18,340 --> 00:12:19,880
right. This is the best sex we ever had.
150
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:23,040
Well, glad to hear it.
151
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,440
It's the only sex you're getting today.
152
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:31,300
Oh, and since this is your house, you
can do the laundry and all the cooking.
153
00:12:32,580 --> 00:12:33,580
Scrub the toilets.
154
00:12:36,860 --> 00:12:37,860
I would.
155
00:12:39,340 --> 00:12:40,720
I can't feel my arm.
156
00:12:58,510 --> 00:13:05,350
cajun style what's this deep dish triple
cheese pepperoni pizza we are
157
00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:11,890
not having pizza for dinner pizza good
call hey what happened to the curtains
158
00:13:11,890 --> 00:13:18,870
i got rid of them and you're welcome i
made those curtains
159
00:13:18,870 --> 00:13:24,470
oh good then they weren't worth anything
i don't want pizza can i have a
160
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:29,220
sandwich sure sweetie i can do it that's
okay i know how to make I'm sure you
161
00:13:29,220 --> 00:13:31,380
do, but I'm his mother. So what? I'm his
aunt.
162
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:35,040
Let me put it to you this way. This is
my house, and I'm making the sandwich.
163
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,720
Oh, I see.
164
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,880
This is all about control.
165
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:42,520
What? You're a control freak. You always
have been.
166
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,500
I am not a control freak.
167
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,740
Then let me make the sandwich.
168
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,120
No! Yes! No!
169
00:15:18,060 --> 00:15:19,200
We got chocolate on the pizza.
170
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:21,760
Well, she started it.
171
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,180
With her Miss Superiority complex.
172
00:15:50,220 --> 00:15:51,220
sock drawer.
173
00:16:24,460 --> 00:16:25,460
Do some baking.
174
00:16:26,740 --> 00:16:31,220
As soon as I blow this batter out of my
nose.
175
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:39,980
The thing is, some of the really popular
girls in my class
176
00:16:39,980 --> 00:16:42,060
go to these college frat parties.
177
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:47,140
I've never gone, but there's this really
cute guy, Steve, who likes me and he
178
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:48,220
keeps asking me to come over.
179
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,540
He says he just wants to make out, but I
don't know.
180
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:52,540
Let me tell you something.
181
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,420
Back when I was in high school, there
was this really cute frat boy who said
182
00:16:56,420 --> 00:17:00,500
liked me, so I got together with him one
night, and we... made out.
183
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:04,680
And then he never called me again.
184
00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:06,140
Really? Yeah.
185
00:17:06,780 --> 00:17:11,720
Not only that, but he told all of his
frat buddies that I... made out with
186
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:16,500
And then I got back to some of the boys
in my high school, and they used to make
187
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:17,579
fun of me behind my back.
188
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:19,460
That's so lame.
189
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:20,920
Tell me about it.
190
00:17:22,349 --> 00:17:25,310
The point is, don't be in such a rush to
grow up.
191
00:17:25,530 --> 00:17:26,750
Date guys your own age.
192
00:17:27,190 --> 00:17:34,110
Make them hold your hand and take you to
the mall and spend every penny of
193
00:17:34,110 --> 00:17:35,290
their allowance on you.
194
00:17:37,450 --> 00:17:38,470
You're so cool.
195
00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:40,170
You know who else is cool?
196
00:17:40,530 --> 00:17:41,530
Your mom.
197
00:17:42,310 --> 00:17:43,310
She is.
198
00:17:43,790 --> 00:17:45,530
You know what she did to that frat boy?
199
00:17:45,870 --> 00:17:49,330
She foamed the entire inside of his car
with a fire extinguisher.
200
00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:50,529
She did?
201
00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:52,030
Yep. Go, Mom.
202
00:17:53,330 --> 00:17:57,770
And by the way, we had a word for those
so -called popular girls in my day.
203
00:17:58,710 --> 00:17:59,710
Sluts.
204
00:18:01,150 --> 00:18:02,230
Weren't you popular?
205
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:05,350
I know.
206
00:18:05,930 --> 00:18:07,090
Let's paint your toenails.
207
00:18:13,430 --> 00:18:17,870
Did I win?
208
00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:34,380
I can't do anything. I'm just a big, fat
loser.
209
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:36,020
You're not a loser.
210
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:37,920
So you think I'm fat?
211
00:18:38,180 --> 00:18:39,180
No.
212
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,880
And you do a lot of things really well.
213
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:49,240
You're a wonderful actress, a great
shopper, and a really good
214
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,740
person. I do sponsor a poor child in
Madagascar.
215
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:54,700
What's his name?
216
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:57,320
Kevin?
217
00:19:03,590 --> 00:19:06,730
You two better hurry. Everything's in
the back of the car. 300 cookies, 100
218
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:12,650
brownies, five pies, and a cake with a
face of... Ashton Kutcher?
219
00:19:13,990 --> 00:19:15,290
That's not Justin Timberlake.
220
00:19:15,490 --> 00:19:17,270
I love Ashton Kutcher. Me too!
221
00:19:19,890 --> 00:19:20,890
Thanks, Aunt Faye.
222
00:19:21,650 --> 00:19:25,210
Oh, um, actually, Sydney, your mom did
all the baking.
223
00:19:25,610 --> 00:19:27,850
Actually, we both did it.
224
00:19:32,970 --> 00:19:33,970
I love you, too.
225
00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:37,450
But you're grounded for two weeks. Two
weeks? I'm going to let you go to the
226
00:19:37,450 --> 00:19:40,390
dance. Now go. Get in the car. You're
going to be late for school.
227
00:19:44,790 --> 00:19:45,790
Thanks.
228
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:53,150
You're really cool.
229
00:19:54,290 --> 00:19:55,290
So I've heard.
230
00:19:58,150 --> 00:19:59,730
Don't forget to buckle up. Hello?
231
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:05,060
Just couldn't help yourself.
232
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,500
Well, that's just who I am.
233
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:15,280
I shop for the bacon, fry it up in a
pan, and never let you forget
234
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,020
you're the man.
235
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:20,920
Come here.
18052
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