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1
00:00:06,090 --> 00:00:07,690
Is somebody going to turn on the TV?
2
00:00:11,610 --> 00:00:13,050
Is that a battery?
3
00:00:13,590 --> 00:00:14,590
Let me try.
4
00:00:19,450 --> 00:00:20,870
What the hell is that smell?
5
00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:29,070
No, I know my smell and that's not it.
6
00:00:31,270 --> 00:00:32,269
Coming from the kitchen.
7
00:00:38,670 --> 00:00:39,670
What's all this?
8
00:00:39,890 --> 00:00:41,590
I'm working on a really important
project.
9
00:00:42,790 --> 00:00:44,130
He's making jewelry.
10
00:00:46,230 --> 00:00:48,990
It's not jewelry. It's a Lucite keepsake
for Angela.
11
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,150
Friday's our three -month anniversary.
12
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,130
Wow, three months.
13
00:00:53,450 --> 00:00:54,730
Hasn't it gotten boring yet?
14
00:00:55,110 --> 00:00:56,110
Not at all.
15
00:00:56,130 --> 00:00:57,130
I mean, for her.
16
00:00:59,170 --> 00:01:00,390
What are you putting in Lucite?
17
00:01:00,610 --> 00:01:04,870
I saved a piece of popcorn from our
first date.
18
00:01:06,380 --> 00:01:08,460
I thought it would be romantic if I
turned it into a paperweight.
19
00:01:14,180 --> 00:01:16,300
Hey, Nick.
20
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:19,200
Bad news.
21
00:01:19,420 --> 00:01:20,420
Uncle Ted died.
22
00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:22,920
We had an Uncle Ted?
23
00:01:23,980 --> 00:01:26,620
Oh, yeah. Yeah, and he left each of us
900 bucks.
24
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:29,480
Uncle Ted.
25
00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:33,080
I'd say we spent it on something fun.
26
00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:35,220
Absolutely. I'm getting a new dryer.
27
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,840
What? A new dryer.
28
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,380
Why don't we just give the money to
charity?
29
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:46,500
Kyle's right, Nick. Come on, we can't
just crap all over dear old Uncle Ted's
30
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:47,500
memory.
31
00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:51,300
I say we pool our money. We get a hot
tub. Keep it here in the backyard.
32
00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:55,380
We don't need a hot tub.
33
00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:57,460
Sure we do. We don't have one.
34
00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:58,740
And I have looked.
35
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:03,100
You're always complaining about your
back, Dad. Those things are supposed to
36
00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:04,100
very therapeutic.
37
00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:05,300
Mm -hmm. Oh!
38
00:02:05,310 --> 00:02:07,250
Come on, Nick. Hey, look at these
smiles, huh?
39
00:02:08,470 --> 00:02:10,590
There. I want to be as happy as that
girl.
40
00:02:11,290 --> 00:02:16,310
Look at him, Dad. He's got two babes and
a really cool mustache.
41
00:02:22,230 --> 00:02:23,470
He does look happy.
42
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:24,710
Yeah!
43
00:02:25,010 --> 00:02:29,830
But... If we get a hot tub, it's for me
and Jimmy.
44
00:02:30,490 --> 00:02:33,570
You kids can use it if and when I say
you can.
45
00:02:34,010 --> 00:02:36,040
Fine. If and when.
46
00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:38,040
Everybody say it.
47
00:02:38,540 --> 00:02:39,920
If and when.
48
00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:44,120
All right, Jimmy, let's put our money
together.
49
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:45,780
Hey, there's nothing in here.
50
00:02:46,020 --> 00:02:49,340
What? Well, that's how sure I was you
liked the idea. It'll be delivered
51
00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:50,340
Saturday.
52
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:21,280
Check it out. I put a cockroach in
Lucide and made earrings.
53
00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:25,760
Will you stop putting bugs in there?
54
00:03:26,060 --> 00:03:28,800
Do you see the little girls on this box
putting bugs in theirs?
55
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,960
Stupid Lucide is so sticky.
56
00:03:35,420 --> 00:03:37,860
You pulled skin off.
57
00:03:39,180 --> 00:03:41,780
Cool. Now I can use your fingerprints to
commit crimes.
58
00:03:45,580 --> 00:03:48,200
Oh, man, are you still making that
stupid popcorn thing?
59
00:03:49,420 --> 00:03:51,600
What are you going through all that
trouble for anyway, Sam?
60
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:53,100
Angela's going to hate it.
61
00:03:53,340 --> 00:03:56,000
No, she won't. She's very sentimental
about things like that.
62
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:59,220
Trust me, when it comes to gifts, girls
like things big and expensive.
63
00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:00,760
She'll like it, you'll see.
64
00:04:01,220 --> 00:04:03,300
Oh, she'll pretend to like it.
65
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:07,040
She'll be all, thank you, I love it.
66
00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:12,140
But on the inside, she's going to be
saying, I put up with all this clumsy
67
00:04:12,140 --> 00:04:13,220
funneling for this?
68
00:04:17,420 --> 00:04:21,019
No, she won't. And my fondling skills
have greatly improved.
69
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:27,480
Savage residence.
70
00:04:28,020 --> 00:04:29,020
Angela, hi.
71
00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:31,220
Hey. Happy anniversary.
72
00:04:34,740 --> 00:04:35,740
What's that?
73
00:04:35,780 --> 00:04:36,840
It's your present, silly.
74
00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:40,940
Please tell me that you comically put
one box inside of another inside of
75
00:04:40,940 --> 00:04:41,940
another. No.
76
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:52,220
Wow. It's heavy. Yeah.
77
00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:54,780
What a great gift this must be.
78
00:04:55,580 --> 00:04:57,360
Definitely not a cheap trinket.
79
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:04,140
You need a hand with yours, Sam? Oh, I
can't wait to see it.
80
00:05:04,580 --> 00:05:05,760
Uh, mine?
81
00:05:06,020 --> 00:05:11,220
Mine is, uh... Well, uh... Oh, my God,
Sam!
82
00:05:11,460 --> 00:05:15,260
I was supposed to pick it up from the
plate, but I forgot.
83
00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:16,900
Huh?
84
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:20,779
You forgot?
85
00:05:20,780 --> 00:05:22,180
Yeah, I know, I know. I'm sorry.
86
00:05:22,620 --> 00:05:23,620
How could you forget?
87
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:27,520
You are seriously the biggest moron on
the face of this planet.
88
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:31,020
I said I was sorry.
89
00:05:31,980 --> 00:05:35,860
Well, sorry doesn't put a smile on my
girlfriend's face, does it?
90
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,120
No.
91
00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:43,740
No. I'm too stupid. I forgot to pick it
up.
92
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,420
Well, if it was so important...
93
00:05:49,159 --> 00:05:51,400
Maybe you should have picked it up.
Right, Angela?
94
00:05:53,180 --> 00:05:54,980
All right, all right. Apology accepted.
95
00:05:57,260 --> 00:05:58,660
Maybe we could exchange gifts later?
96
00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:02,020
Well, um, I have to go out with my
parents, but I can come over when we get
97
00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:05,500
back. Excellent. And once again, sorry
my brother's such an idiot.
98
00:06:10,580 --> 00:06:11,740
Thanks. You're welcome.
99
00:06:18,659 --> 00:06:20,540
Maybe it's a gigantic piece of popcorn.
100
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,400
Or a jewelry -making kit.
101
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:30,720
You love those.
102
00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:35,420
I can't give her a piece of popcorn.
She'll dump me for anyone.
103
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,520
I'd better hit the mall and get her a
real gift.
104
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:40,960
Oh, hey, you want a ride?
105
00:06:41,140 --> 00:06:43,320
Yeah, that would be great. Yeah,
wouldn't it? Take a bus.
106
00:06:49,930 --> 00:06:50,930
Savages. That's us.
107
00:06:51,330 --> 00:06:53,050
Hey, Shaquille O 'Neal. No relation.
108
00:06:55,530 --> 00:06:57,070
Got the hot tub in my truck.
109
00:06:57,590 --> 00:06:59,510
Really? Our dad wasn't expecting you
until tomorrow.
110
00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:03,510
See, I'm expecting a lady friend here
from Baltimore tomorrow, so I might have
111
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:05,990
to call in sick if you catch my drift.
112
00:07:07,530 --> 00:07:09,070
Oh, we do, yeah.
113
00:07:09,290 --> 00:07:12,290
All right, you guys. Well, come on up
here and help me get this tub off the
114
00:07:12,290 --> 00:07:13,009
of my truck.
115
00:07:13,010 --> 00:07:14,210
We have to help?
116
00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:16,090
Yeah, you're the delivery guy?
117
00:07:16,610 --> 00:07:18,390
Yeah, but I don't want to hurt my back.
118
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,520
I told you my lady friend is coming in
tomorrow.
119
00:07:23,980 --> 00:07:29,560
Gentlemen, I give you the Supremo.
120
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:36,380
Yes, just like the Magnifico, only 20 %
more expensive.
121
00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:38,900
And better.
122
00:07:40,020 --> 00:07:44,380
Get a couple of waitresses up in there.
Woo, and let the magic begin.
123
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,100
I'm a child.
124
00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:53,760
Not once you get them waitresses up in
there.
125
00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:03,240
All right. All you guys have to do is
watch this safety video and she's all
126
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,040
yours. Safety video?
127
00:08:07,300 --> 00:08:11,940
The Massachusetts Safety Board, in
conjunction with the President's Council
128
00:08:11,940 --> 00:08:16,400
Hot Tubs, with a generous grant from
Swingers Anonymous,
129
00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:22,300
presents Hot Tub Hell Tub.
130
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:34,220
Did you know the average hot tub has
five gallons of human urine floating in
131
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:38,520
Got your attention?
132
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,440
Hi, I'm Officer Steve Cox.
133
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:47,300
Hot tubbing can be fun, but it can also
be...
134
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:50,160
Not fun.
135
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:58,240
There are six ways you can die in a hot
tub.
136
00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:01,520
For the sake of brevity, I'll skip the
first three.
137
00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:05,540
Say, Misty.
138
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:12,200
Don't you think a strawberry daiquiri
would taste just great right about now?
139
00:09:13,540 --> 00:09:14,540
Wrong.
140
00:09:15,820 --> 00:09:18,020
Never drink alcohol while tubbing.
141
00:09:18,990 --> 00:09:23,970
Or you could end up drinking a
strawberry... ...ethery.
142
00:09:28,490 --> 00:09:30,650
Now, I like suction as much as the next
guy.
143
00:09:31,830 --> 00:09:35,290
But I wouldn't like my entrails ripped
out through my tailpipe.
144
00:09:37,730 --> 00:09:42,490
Now, 5 ,000 volts is great for snuffing
out scum on death row.
145
00:09:43,690 --> 00:09:48,250
But it can also kill a romantic evening
with your special lady.
146
00:09:50,670 --> 00:09:54,850
So appliances like this little baby have
got to go.
147
00:09:57,150 --> 00:09:57,750
Enjoy
148
00:09:57,750 --> 00:10:10,890
your
149
00:10:10,890 --> 00:10:14,230
new hot tub. And remember, all sales
are...
150
00:10:26,510 --> 00:10:28,470
is one weird safety video.
151
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,730
Yeah, why would they leave in the part
where the girl got killed?
152
00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:08,950
We can be in Canada by midnight.
153
00:11:12,850 --> 00:11:15,050
Hey, guys, I'm back from the... You
broke it already?
154
00:11:17,870 --> 00:11:21,670
Look, Sam, you'd be doing us a really
big favor if you told Dad you're the one
155
00:11:21,670 --> 00:11:22,670
who broke it.
156
00:11:23,630 --> 00:11:26,190
Then he'd kill me. I said really big.
157
00:11:27,530 --> 00:11:29,070
Man, he's gonna go ballistic.
158
00:11:29,590 --> 00:11:31,050
Maybe we can glue it back together.
159
00:11:31,450 --> 00:11:32,450
Are you crazy?
160
00:11:32,730 --> 00:11:35,310
There isn't a glue on Earth that could
hold that.
161
00:11:35,530 --> 00:11:37,230
What about the lewthite? That might
work.
162
00:11:40,610 --> 00:11:42,570
PJ, the whole tub has to be refilled.
163
00:11:43,010 --> 00:11:44,330
Don't tell me how to slather.
164
00:11:46,230 --> 00:11:47,610
You really think this will work?
165
00:11:48,330 --> 00:11:49,690
I don't see how it can't.
166
00:11:56,050 --> 00:11:58,670
How are you going to clean the excess
lucite out of Dad's good pot?
167
00:12:00,410 --> 00:12:01,410
Do what now?
168
00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:04,750
Never mind.
169
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,400
message. You got a big surprise for me.
Oh, yeah.
170
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:16,880
Now, I don't want to oversell it, but
this is the best present you will ever
171
00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:18,060
receive in your entire life.
172
00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:19,700
Wow.
173
00:12:25,580 --> 00:12:25,940
What
174
00:12:25,940 --> 00:12:34,780
is
175
00:12:34,780 --> 00:12:35,780
it?
176
00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:37,900
It's rugby.
177
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:41,580
I don't know what that is, Sam.
178
00:12:42,260 --> 00:12:44,860
It's a fully automated robot vacuum.
179
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,180
And no, I didn't bring it back from the
future.
180
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:55,620
You got me a vacuum?
181
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:57,080
A robot vacuum.
182
00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:01,280
You know how you're always complaining
that your mom's a neat freak and makes
183
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,280
you clean your room all the time?
184
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:08,820
I'm not always complaining. Sure you
are. You're like a broken record. But
185
00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:09,820
here.
186
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:14,000
We'll buzz around all over your room and
keep it spotless.
187
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,220
It takes the sting out of housework.
188
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,900
Oh, thank you. I love it.
189
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:31,960
You don't love it?
190
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:57,040
You got me a tree?
191
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:02,960
Remember our first date when we went to
the movies and then you walked me home
192
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:06,820
and we sat on that tree stump and you
said you wished we could sit there
193
00:14:06,820 --> 00:14:07,820
forever?
194
00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:09,240
Well, now we can.
195
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:11,760
Really?
196
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:13,120
That's the stump?
197
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:15,240
Our stump?
198
00:14:15,420 --> 00:14:17,520
I mean, I know it's kind of corny,
but... No.
199
00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:20,500
It's perfect.
200
00:14:23,180 --> 00:14:25,400
Truth is, I got you something romantic,
too.
201
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:26,740
Oh, I know, the vacuum.
202
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,600
No, no, better.
203
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:32,180
I just didn't trust it.
204
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:43,360
I made it myself.
205
00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:48,640
It's a cockroach.
206
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:51,540
Stupid Kyle.
207
00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:57,620
Wait, here's mine.
208
00:14:58,680 --> 00:14:59,680
Okay.
209
00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:06,540
You saved this from our first date?
210
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,160
I tried to pick out a really well
-formed colonel.
211
00:15:13,060 --> 00:15:14,060
You're right, Sam.
212
00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:17,300
This is the best gift I've ever gotten
in my entire life.
213
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,040
Thank you. I love it.
214
00:15:42,980 --> 00:15:43,980
Hey,
215
00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:49,499
Nick.
216
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:50,500
Toss me a beer.
217
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:51,720
You got it.
218
00:16:19,950 --> 00:16:20,950
Why can't we move?
219
00:16:23,510 --> 00:16:24,830
Because you're getting old?
220
00:16:29,070 --> 00:16:30,070
Come here.
221
00:16:35,610 --> 00:16:38,210
Closer. To where I can bite you.
222
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:47,870
Gotta say, Dad, you're taking this
pretty well.
223
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,720
That's only because I'm stuck in a
casual pose.
224
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,980
If I could move my arms, I would
strangle you.
225
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,460
Come on, come on. There's got to be
something that'll dissolve this crap.
226
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,680
Well, there's a whole bunch of chemicals
under the sink.
227
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,240
We could just pour them on you and see
what happens.
228
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:13,420
Let's not do that.
229
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,740
Hey, doesn't nail polish remover get
glue off?
230
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,800
Oh, no. Lucite is a polymer ten times
stronger than any glue.
231
00:17:22,599 --> 00:17:24,040
But you're thinking, and I like that.
232
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,540
Maybe we should call the fire
department. No!
233
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:35,500
We work for those guys. We'll never hear
the end of it.
234
00:17:35,740 --> 00:17:37,560
We could just take you to the emergency
room.
235
00:17:38,340 --> 00:17:39,340
How?
236
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,640
Load the hot tub in the back of the
truck and drive us there?
237
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,160
I don't think we have a choice, Nick.
238
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:50,860
I have to go to the bathroom.
239
00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:56,320
All right, we'll go to the emergency
room. But take the back roads.
240
00:17:56,980 --> 00:17:58,420
I don't want anybody seeing us.
241
00:18:00,940 --> 00:18:02,680
Dad, you know, we're really, really
sorry.
242
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:07,140
Yeah, we feel horrible about this, and
we're going to get you out.
243
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,160
I'm sure you will.
244
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:14,660
I know I don't tell you boys often
enough, but...
245
00:18:15,950 --> 00:18:16,950
I hate you.
246
00:18:29,930 --> 00:18:31,950
Okay, the tarp will make this less
embarrassing.
247
00:18:32,490 --> 00:18:33,490
Thanks.
248
00:18:34,070 --> 00:18:35,070
For us.
249
00:18:59,980 --> 00:19:00,939
Take a left.
250
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:02,360
It's not the way to the hospital.
251
00:19:03,260 --> 00:19:04,460
No, I want ice cream.
252
00:19:06,380 --> 00:19:07,380
Too bad.
253
00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:10,880
What the hell is this?
254
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,160
My God.
255
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,920
I don't need to be seen. Catch. Yeah.
256
00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:35,380
I'm done.
257
00:19:38,420 --> 00:19:39,420
What?
258
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,320
Hey, Jimmy.
259
00:19:51,180 --> 00:19:52,180
Yeah?
260
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,040
Thanks for the hot tub.
261
00:20:31,210 --> 00:20:32,210
just got the new dryer.
262
00:20:33,890 --> 00:20:36,330
What it's worth, we probably would have
broken that, too.
263
00:20:37,510 --> 00:20:38,770
Did I say you could talk?
264
00:20:39,490 --> 00:20:42,050
You talk if and when I say so.
265
00:20:42,650 --> 00:20:43,730
When can you talk?
266
00:20:44,030 --> 00:20:45,310
If and when... Shut up!
267
00:20:49,670 --> 00:20:53,470
Can't you look on the bright side, Dad?
I mean, those drag queens did get you
268
00:20:53,470 --> 00:20:54,470
out of the tub.
269
00:20:55,710 --> 00:20:58,250
Hey, I told you nail polish remover
would work, huh?
270
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,680
You know, we did win a prize for most
fabulous family.
271
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,240
And another thing.
272
00:21:09,580 --> 00:21:11,060
When I say something is mine.
20095
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