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1
00:00:03,790 --> 00:00:05,030
Come on, boys, hurry up.
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00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:08,510
Let's go. We're going to be late for
church.
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00:00:20,590 --> 00:00:24,650
Welcome to Sunday worship with me,
Reverend Dave.
4
00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:26,810
Morning, Reverend Dave.
5
00:00:28,090 --> 00:00:32,689
We've got a great sermon for you today.
Some fabulous hymns.
6
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:37,220
and another hilarious visit from Dodo,
the atheist puppet.
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I don't believe in nothing!
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Not now, Dodo.
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I'm nuts!
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Let us pray.
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You're not praying. You don't know what
I'm doing.
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Does TV church really count?
13
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The rat in TV Guide says it does.
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00:01:04,010 --> 00:01:05,010
today's sermon.
15
00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:07,450
But first, do you like carnivals?
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God does.
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00:01:09,790 --> 00:01:14,210
Come on down tonight to the All Saints
Carnival here in the parking lot of the
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Church of the Immaculate Reception.
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Can we go, Dad?
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Yeah, why not?
21
00:01:21,670 --> 00:01:23,290
Wait, have you all done your homework?
22
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TJ, don't you have a big report to do
about Abraham Lincoln?
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That's not homework.
24
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That's a long -term project.
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When's it due?
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Tomorrow. Isn't that 2 ,000 words?
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I know, but I'm going to use his middle
name every time I mention him.
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So that's like 500 words right there.
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Lincoln didn't have a middle name.
30
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Well, he's getting one.
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Maybe two.
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No report, no carnival.
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I pick no report.
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Get to work.
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I'm going to ask Angela if she wants to
go.
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Angela?
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00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:05,270
I thought she was still seeing that
British guy. The Duke of Wankers?
38
00:02:06,650 --> 00:02:09,650
Not anymore. They broke up at 8 .55 last
night.
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00:02:12,150 --> 00:02:15,650
As luck would have it, I happened to be
in a tree outside her bedroom when it
40
00:02:15,650 --> 00:02:16,650
happened.
41
00:02:18,710 --> 00:02:19,850
All right, so who should we bring?
42
00:02:20,410 --> 00:02:21,710
We'll just meet some girls there.
43
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That way, they've already paid their own
admission.
44
00:02:26,210 --> 00:02:27,210
It'll be cheaper.
45
00:02:28,470 --> 00:02:30,730
And if we find some that have already
eaten...
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We won't have to buy them food.
47
00:02:34,820 --> 00:02:36,440
Are you guys really that broke?
48
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I can lend you some cash.
49
00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:39,800
No, we got lots of money.
50
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Just don't want to waste it.
51
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That's very frugal and sleazy.
52
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I'm proud and ashamed.
53
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Amen. Amen.
54
00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:26,668
Hi, Sam.
55
00:03:26,670 --> 00:03:27,429
Hi, Angela.
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00:03:27,430 --> 00:03:30,910
Hey, I'm going to a carnival tonight,
and I was wondering if maybe you and
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00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:31,970
boyfriend would like to join me.
58
00:03:34,370 --> 00:03:35,790
Joffrey and I aren't going out anymore.
59
00:03:37,030 --> 00:03:38,030
What?
60
00:03:39,030 --> 00:03:44,750
I did not see that coming.
61
00:03:51,130 --> 00:03:52,890
So, uh, how are you holding up?
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I'm okay.
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00:03:55,850 --> 00:03:56,850
Come here.
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00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,210
There, doesn't that smell better?
65
00:04:06,950 --> 00:04:08,190
You mean feel better?
66
00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:09,770
Mm -hmm.
67
00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:13,170
You know, I'm really glad you came over,
Sam.
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I've missed you.
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You have?
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00:04:16,630 --> 00:04:17,630
Yeah.
71
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:21,630
My relationship with Joffrey made me
appreciate what we have even more,
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what we have is really special.
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00:04:24,460 --> 00:04:25,600
I feel the same way.
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You're such a good friend.
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00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:30,960
A what now?
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I know we came close to getting serious,
but moments like these that make me
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glad we didn't. I never want to spoil
this.
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00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:40,640
Yeah.
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That was close.
80
00:04:44,420 --> 00:04:46,180
Almost fell in love there. That would
have sucked.
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00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,120
You're disappointed.
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00:04:49,340 --> 00:04:50,660
What? No, no, no.
83
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:52,660
Come on. We're in high school.
84
00:04:53,140 --> 00:04:56,160
The chances of us, you know, someday
getting married and having two kids
85
00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:58,060
Samantha and Angelo are like a million
to one, right?
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00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:03,580
Angelo? Yeah, well, I'm just saying, you
know, if we had gotten together, we
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00:05:03,580 --> 00:05:06,300
probably eventually would have had an
ugly breakup, you know, leaving one of
88
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:07,300
scarred for life.
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00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:12,840
More than likely you, because I tend to
bounce back quickly from these things.
90
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:15,380
And I just couldn't do that to you.
91
00:05:15,620 --> 00:05:17,800
So, uh, why don't we go be friends?
92
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:19,920
Sounds great.
93
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,320
Cool.
94
00:05:21,860 --> 00:05:22,860
It's not a date.
95
00:05:23,869 --> 00:05:25,110
I'll see you tonight.
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00:05:33,010 --> 00:05:39,830
What are you
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00:05:39,830 --> 00:05:43,270
doing? I'm putting rocks in my pocket to
pull the guess your weight guy.
98
00:05:45,870 --> 00:05:49,390
Will you stop thinking about that
carnival and start thinking about your
99
00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:52,050
Now.
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00:05:52,270 --> 00:05:53,270
You got everything you need?
101
00:05:53,830 --> 00:05:55,790
Dictionary? The computer has a
dictionary.
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00:05:56,210 --> 00:05:57,210
Books on Lincoln?
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00:05:57,510 --> 00:05:58,510
Internet.
104
00:06:00,830 --> 00:06:05,030
Paper. Oh, I save it to this memory
stick and print it at school.
105
00:06:07,050 --> 00:06:11,150
Computers, memory sticks. You know, when
I was your age... I know. You and
106
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Lincoln had to do your homework on the
back of a shovel.
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You're lucky the game is starting.
108
00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:22,010
But remember, I'm only one room away.
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So no screwing around.
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Because I can pop back in at any moment.
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Like that.
112
00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:05,790
How about you, sir? Here to try your
luck?
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00:07:06,570 --> 00:07:07,570
Nah.
114
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:10,430
See you in hell.
115
00:07:13,450 --> 00:07:16,150
I'm full. I can't eat another bite.
116
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Hello, ladies.
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Can we buy you some dinner?
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Oh, we just finished eating.
119
00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:33,250
Well, at least let us pay your way in.
120
00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:37,319
already in.
121
00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:42,100
Well, since you're in and we're in, you
guys want to go on the tunnel of tongue?
122
00:07:44,580 --> 00:07:46,140
Isn't it called the tunnel of love?
123
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:47,940
Yeah, love, whatever. Let's go.
124
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Okay, but first, will you buy me a
balloon?
125
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Buy you?
126
00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:57,840
Yeah, me too.
127
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:02,880
Okay, but then we go on the tunnel of
love, right?
128
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:04,100
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
129
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,980
Two, please. Oh, no, Pam, you don't have
to buy my ticket. We're here as
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00:08:09,980 --> 00:08:10,980
friends, remember?
131
00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:12,860
Yeah, but it doesn't feel right to make
you pay.
132
00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:15,260
Look, Pam, are you sure you're okay with
this?
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Yeah, absolutely.
134
00:08:16,780 --> 00:08:17,780
Totally cool.
135
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:19,600
One ticket, please.
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00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:21,920
For me.
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Nobody else.
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00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:27,320
My friend here is on her own, because
I'm not Pam.
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00:08:39,690 --> 00:08:40,469
You know that fried dough?
140
00:08:40,470 --> 00:08:41,929
It's carnival time!
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00:08:54,070 --> 00:09:00,890
When suddenly, bang, Abraham Billy Bob
142
00:09:00,890 --> 00:09:04,730
Lincoln was dead.
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Short.
144
00:09:13,580 --> 00:09:17,940
Ooh. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
145
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:19,720
See?
146
00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:21,720
Free at last.
147
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,220
Sorry. Yes.
148
00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:27,100
No!
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00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,140
What did I do?
150
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,840
You stuck your arm in the cotton candy
machine.
151
00:09:36,740 --> 00:09:38,700
No way. I brought this from home.
152
00:09:40,650 --> 00:09:44,030
You think you're talking to a moron?
Well, you are a carnival security guard.
153
00:09:45,770 --> 00:09:46,770
No.
154
00:09:47,050 --> 00:09:48,530
Look at my balloon.
155
00:09:49,190 --> 00:09:50,410
It's so shiny.
156
00:09:51,830 --> 00:09:53,970
Hey, Taylor, you want to race our
balloons?
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00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:56,550
Yeah. Okay, ready? Go.
158
00:09:57,070 --> 00:09:58,070
No.
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00:09:58,470 --> 00:09:59,470
I won.
160
00:10:00,130 --> 00:10:01,630
Those cost five bucks.
161
00:10:02,190 --> 00:10:04,150
You can get more. It's okay.
162
00:10:04,450 --> 00:10:06,690
We can't bring on a tunnel of love
anyways.
163
00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:08,250
That's right.
164
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:09,780
And it's right this way. Ladies?
165
00:10:10,180 --> 00:10:11,139
Oh, look.
166
00:10:11,140 --> 00:10:13,160
Candy, apples, and kettle corn.
167
00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:14,600
Who wants to get a snack?
168
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:18,700
But you just ate. I mean, I saw you.
169
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,840
Not candy, apples, and kettle corn.
170
00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:28,040
I suppose you're hungry, too.
171
00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:29,260
Oh, no way.
172
00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:40,820
It's print.
173
00:10:41,860 --> 00:10:43,380
Only one through the tire wins.
174
00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,360
Don't be cheap, Chip. It's for the
church.
175
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:49,520
Just one?
176
00:10:50,620 --> 00:10:51,620
All right.
177
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:03,260
One pink monkey, please.
178
00:11:07,180 --> 00:11:08,180
That's an eraser.
179
00:11:08,990 --> 00:11:09,989
your arrangement.
180
00:11:09,990 --> 00:11:12,670
And if you win again, you can trade up
for a bigger prize.
181
00:11:14,770 --> 00:11:15,770
Really?
182
00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:17,610
Just one more?
183
00:11:17,750 --> 00:11:18,750
Yep.
184
00:11:27,110 --> 00:11:27,510
How
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00:11:27,510 --> 00:11:36,010
much
186
00:11:36,010 --> 00:11:38,250
cheap crap do I have to win before I get
the big monkey?
187
00:11:39,260 --> 00:11:40,960
You really love that monkey, don't you,
sweetheart?
188
00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:42,260
More than anything.
189
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,360
Might just get you into heaven, son.
190
00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:52,400
Boy, that giant pretzel looks good.
191
00:11:52,860 --> 00:11:55,040
Oh, it sure is. You should have bought
yourself one.
192
00:11:59,740 --> 00:12:00,900
Well, I'm done.
193
00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:06,140
So, what do you want to do next, buddy?
Want to win yourself a prize?
194
00:12:09,230 --> 00:12:10,029
Big date.
195
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:13,790
Oh, no, no, no. It's not a date. Me and
Angela are just friends. And I'm totally
196
00:12:13,790 --> 00:12:14,790
cool with it.
197
00:12:16,410 --> 00:12:17,410
We're buds.
198
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:24,210
I'm going to go get myself a drink. Do
you want one, Sam?
199
00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:26,490
Well, that's very friendly of you, but
no thanks.
200
00:12:29,370 --> 00:12:30,550
I'm dying here.
201
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:32,609
What's the problem?
202
00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:34,990
I stupidly agreed to be Angela's friend,
but...
203
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:40,280
Just relax.
204
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:43,700
If you want Angela hanging all over you,
you've got to get her scared.
205
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,020
Make her ride the zipper.
206
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:48,560
That's disgusting.
207
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:53,360
Oh.
208
00:12:54,660 --> 00:12:57,840
All you've got to do is get that cage
spinning. She'll have nothing to hold on
209
00:12:57,840 --> 00:12:58,739
to but you.
210
00:12:58,740 --> 00:12:59,740
Hey, thanks.
211
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:01,200
Yeah, you're welcome.
212
00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:04,060
Now loan me 20 bucks. I've got to feed
the machine.
213
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:23,240
playing with the dog when you should be
doing your report?
214
00:13:23,580 --> 00:13:26,380
I'm trying to get him to puke. He
swallowed my memory stick.
215
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,880
Don't tell me. The dog ate your
homework.
216
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:36,700
I finished the report, put the stick on
the table, and he ate it. Like this.
217
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:42,200
Now you're full?
218
00:13:44,580 --> 00:13:48,920
Dad, I'm not lying. I did the report, so
I should be able to go to the carnival.
219
00:13:50,590 --> 00:13:52,230
Okay. You want to go?
220
00:13:52,610 --> 00:13:53,610
Then go.
221
00:13:54,550 --> 00:13:57,310
I'm tired of caring more about your
grades than you do.
222
00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:58,970
So do whatever you want.
223
00:13:59,330 --> 00:14:00,330
Flunk out of school.
224
00:14:00,610 --> 00:14:01,610
Get a tattoo.
225
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:03,250
Marry a stripper.
226
00:14:05,130 --> 00:14:06,130
I give up.
227
00:14:10,210 --> 00:14:12,090
Oh, that's it. We're getting a cat.
228
00:14:23,739 --> 00:14:27,000
Don't worry about it, Angela. These
things are run by licensed
229
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:28,500
Howdy.
230
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:32,880
Ask to see his license.
231
00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:35,720
How are you gals doing?
232
00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:38,500
Uh, I'm a guy.
233
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:39,900
Says you.
234
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:42,320
Have fun.
235
00:14:46,540 --> 00:14:49,540
What'd I do? I just wanted to say I rode
the world's smallest horse.
236
00:14:51,180 --> 00:14:52,180
Well, you did.
237
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:54,270
And you gave him the world's smallest
hernia.
238
00:14:55,990 --> 00:14:58,290
Now get lost and stay out of trouble.
239
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:04,990
Come
240
00:15:04,990 --> 00:15:12,690
on,
241
00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:14,610
boy, that's your fourth bran muffin.
242
00:15:17,310 --> 00:15:18,690
Poke the stick already.
243
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:23,600
What are you still doing here?
244
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,360
Waiting for the dog to poop so you don't
think I'm full of crap.
245
00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:31,100
Wait a minute.
246
00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:33,520
You mean the dog really ate your
homework?
247
00:15:33,860 --> 00:15:34,860
Yes.
248
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,500
Why is that so hard to believe?
249
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:38,340
Because you're always lying.
250
00:15:40,860 --> 00:15:41,859
I know.
251
00:15:41,860 --> 00:15:42,860
I know.
252
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,500
And I don't blame you for not believing
me.
253
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:50,220
That's why I'm not going anywhere unless
the dog clears my name.
254
00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:57,720
You know where to get them going?
255
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,400
A chili dog from the carnival.
256
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:03,240
Let's go get him one.
257
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:04,960
Really?
258
00:16:05,460 --> 00:16:06,960
See, it pays to be honest.
259
00:16:08,580 --> 00:16:11,300
Hey, just like Honest Abe, huh?
260
00:16:11,860 --> 00:16:12,860
Who?
261
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,020
and you can trade up for that monkey.
262
00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:46,340
But I'm almost broke, and I have no
feeling left in my arm.
263
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:51,120
Are you sure you don't want this Chinese
finger trap?
264
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,140
Come on, I just want a monkey.
265
00:16:56,740 --> 00:16:58,220
Monkey! Monkey!
266
00:16:58,620 --> 00:16:59,920
Monkey! Monkey!
267
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:01,440
Push me.
268
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,140
Are you talking to me, big red button?
269
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,180
Push me, Kyle.
270
00:17:09,710 --> 00:17:11,050
You know you want to.
271
00:17:12,150 --> 00:17:15,890
Well, I listened to that fire alarm at
the mall once, and that was pretty
272
00:17:15,890 --> 00:17:16,890
hilarious.
273
00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:53,550
That's my brother Kyle running away.
274
00:17:53,930 --> 00:17:55,210
Oh, God, that's never good.
275
00:17:56,090 --> 00:17:58,250
Oh, I don't like this. I do not like
this.
276
00:17:58,470 --> 00:18:02,050
Okay, okay, let's just calm down, okay?
Stop talking. You're using up all the
277
00:18:02,050 --> 00:18:03,050
air.
278
00:18:03,470 --> 00:18:05,790
We focus on how pretty it is up here.
279
00:18:06,410 --> 00:18:08,030
Hey, look, you can see the old cemetery.
280
00:18:09,090 --> 00:18:10,090
I'm not helping.
281
00:18:10,850 --> 00:18:11,850
Oh, God.
282
00:18:12,110 --> 00:18:13,410
This is all my fault.
283
00:18:13,690 --> 00:18:15,230
No, it's not. Yes, it is.
284
00:18:15,570 --> 00:18:17,390
I only made you get on this scary ride.
285
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,440
Sharing the giant pretzel!
286
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:40,320
Sam, what are you saying?
287
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:43,540
I'm saying I don't want to be your dumb
friend.
288
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,560
I want to be your dumb boyfriend.
289
00:18:46,380 --> 00:18:51,220
I want to take you out on a real date
where I pick you up and you keep me
290
00:18:51,220 --> 00:18:53,380
waiting and I pay for everything.
291
00:18:53,660 --> 00:18:58,040
And if you happen to hold my hand or
give me a kiss, then I go home and I
292
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,500
it over and over again in my head for
the rest of the weekend.
293
00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:03,340
That's what I want.
294
00:19:06,060 --> 00:19:08,900
Are you crying because what I said was
sweet or because you're afraid we're
295
00:19:08,900 --> 00:19:09,900
going to die?
296
00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:12,980
Sweet.
297
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:25,040
It's moving.
298
00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:41,430
Because I'm going to kiss you now.
299
00:19:52,470 --> 00:19:54,330
Here you go, girls.
300
00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:02,470
So then me and my girlfriend had some
fried dough.
301
00:20:03,730 --> 00:20:06,250
We really liked it. Especially my
girlfriend.
302
00:20:09,260 --> 00:20:11,920
My girlfriend? Please shut up about your
girlfriend.
303
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:17,080
Right? You don't have to get mad just
because I was the only one who went in
304
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:18,080
tunnel of love.
305
00:20:19,340 --> 00:20:23,720
Hey, you know, my date took her shirt
off. It's only because she threw up on
306
00:20:25,340 --> 00:20:26,340
Still counts.
307
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,040
At least my date didn't run off with the
balloon guy.
308
00:20:33,060 --> 00:20:35,100
He made her a balloon monkey.
309
00:20:36,700 --> 00:20:38,360
Man, I would have pounded that guy.
310
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:45,680
Did you have fun at the carnival?
311
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:51,640
How'd you get those monkeys?
312
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,420
The carnival was ending. They were just
throwing that crap out.
313
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:58,700
Oh, that reminds me.
314
00:20:59,580 --> 00:21:01,580
My homework should be downloaded by now.
315
00:21:04,380 --> 00:21:07,840
Okay. In about five minutes, the
security guards can be knocking at that
316
00:21:09,460 --> 00:21:11,760
Oh, and the world's smallest horse
trainer.
317
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,860
But whatever they tell you, it will...
Was it me?
318
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,440
Man, I can't wait to tell this to my
girlfriend.
319
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:20,680
Shut up!
22597
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