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1
00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:04,200
Little old lady got me late, late last
night.
2
00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:08,700
Must be the werewolves of London again.
3
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,000
Ah -woo!
4
00:00:14,420 --> 00:00:15,480
Werewolves of London.
5
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:17,500
Ah -woo!
6
00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:19,500
Ah -woo!
7
00:00:20,940 --> 00:00:22,940
Good job, boy. Go lick yourself.
8
00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:24,160
You were.
9
00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:37,750
Didn't see that either.
10
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,180
You must really be out of suspects.
11
00:01:30,940 --> 00:01:34,480
Hey, Sam, there's a rumor going around
school you're going to ask Brenda
12
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:35,480
Rosinski to dance.
13
00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:36,840
Who's spreading that?
14
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:38,200
Brenda Rosinski.
15
00:01:39,420 --> 00:01:42,200
Hey, who's Brenda, lady killer?
16
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,860
Remember that girl that beat me in the
pie -eating contest?
17
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:46,960
Ooh.
18
00:01:47,180 --> 00:01:48,180
Hey.
19
00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:52,360
She happens to be a very nice girl, and
she's really smart.
20
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,360
Yeah, you know she can order pies.
21
00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:55,810
Do you have any languages?
22
00:01:57,790 --> 00:02:01,890
Okay, so she's not a supermodel, but we
have a lot in common. And unlike you
23
00:02:01,890 --> 00:02:04,630
guys, I care more about what's on the
inside than the outside.
24
00:02:05,230 --> 00:02:07,290
You got your priorities straight, Sam,
and I'm proud of you.
25
00:02:07,630 --> 00:02:09,750
And if you like her, we like her. Right,
boys?
26
00:02:10,270 --> 00:02:11,270
Oh, yeah, yeah.
27
00:02:12,430 --> 00:02:14,770
I don't like her.
28
00:02:16,130 --> 00:02:17,130
But you just said.
29
00:02:17,390 --> 00:02:21,310
I lied. She's not nice. She's not smart
either. She's a mean, stupid girl.
30
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,600
And if this one says no, I swear I'm
going gay.
31
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:26,980
Whoa, whoa.
32
00:02:27,340 --> 00:02:28,340
Nobody's going gay.
33
00:02:29,140 --> 00:02:31,080
I didn't go gay after your mother left.
34
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,020
And it wasn't for a lack of offers.
35
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,940
Ask Angela from across the street.
36
00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,480
Yeah, you love her.
37
00:02:43,740 --> 00:02:44,740
No, I don't.
38
00:02:44,780 --> 00:02:47,440
You're always staring out the window at
her. No, I'm not.
39
00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:49,920
You put more drool on that window than
the dog.
40
00:02:53,770 --> 00:02:54,770
You want to be Mr.
41
00:02:55,210 --> 00:02:56,210
Angela Savage.
42
00:02:58,410 --> 00:02:59,388
Hey, you guys.
43
00:02:59,390 --> 00:03:01,410
Come look what Rose is doing with our
laundry.
44
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:05,610
Why would I take her first name? I don't
know. Shut up.
45
00:03:44,010 --> 00:03:45,630
and you take the bedridden fat guy.
46
00:03:48,970 --> 00:03:51,050
Hey, what's this here, huh?
47
00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:53,550
You were supposed to have been home an
hour ago.
48
00:03:53,870 --> 00:03:54,870
Where have you been?
49
00:03:55,030 --> 00:03:58,530
Your uncle and I just carried an entire
family from a burning house.
50
00:03:58,910 --> 00:04:01,670
Sure, help their kids while we're at
home starving.
51
00:04:03,470 --> 00:04:04,590
So make a sandwich.
52
00:04:05,290 --> 00:04:06,290
Ourselves?
53
00:04:06,970 --> 00:04:08,590
Just call and order a pizza.
54
00:04:08,850 --> 00:04:11,250
We did. Your credit card was declined.
55
00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:15,280
Jimmy, can I borrow 20 bucks?
56
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:16,720
You kidding me? With your credit?
57
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,220
All right, here you go.
58
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:22,500
Thanks, Uncle Jimmy.
59
00:04:22,620 --> 00:04:24,420
I'll be home in a couple hours. Save me
a slice.
60
00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:26,080
Make a sandwich.
61
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,180
I'm holding an ax here.
62
00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:30,920
Little creep.
63
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,700
So, lost another housekeeper, huh?
64
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,460
Yeah. What does that make, 22?
65
00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:42,120
Seems like a lot, but you break it down
over the whole 10 years, it's only 2 .3
66
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:43,120
a year.
67
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,540
Has your wife been gone ten years?
68
00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:51,920
Boy, seems like only yesterday she put
that ground glass in your meatloaf.
69
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:58,720
Yeah, she was crazy, but one hell of a
cook.
70
00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:07,580
Hey, Sam.
71
00:05:09,580 --> 00:05:10,700
Angela's across the street.
72
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,780
Oh, really? Because I was just checking
out these blinds here.
73
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:27,050
She waved. What do I do?
74
00:05:31,670 --> 00:05:32,950
Could you move the blinds now?
75
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,380
Askren, she shoots me down, thinks we'd
never be the same between us.
76
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:54,000
You mean with you leering at her through
the blinds? Yeah, it'd be a shame to
77
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,000
lose that.
78
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,420
Besides, I want to work out first, maybe
grow my hair a little longer.
79
00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:01,720
I should be ready by Christmas, Dan.
80
00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:05,060
Valentine's Day, absolute latest.
81
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,700
You don't need to change, Sam. You're a
good guy.
82
00:06:09,260 --> 00:06:10,640
Honest, decent, dependable.
83
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,580
Unfortunately, those are all qualities
most teenage girls don't give a damn
84
00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:15,580
about.
85
00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:16,980
But women do.
86
00:06:17,650 --> 00:06:19,570
So I should be going after Angela's mom?
87
00:06:21,530 --> 00:06:25,650
No, I mean, most women don't usually
appreciate good guys until they're tired
88
00:06:25,650 --> 00:06:26,649
bad boys.
89
00:06:26,650 --> 00:06:27,650
When you're 40.
90
00:06:28,030 --> 00:06:29,030
40?
91
00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:33,850
I don't want to wait until I'm 40. When
I'm 40, I'll be all... In
92
00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:38,670
that case, you should get your butt
across the street.
93
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,890
You gotta be willing to risk a no if you
ever want to hear a yes.
94
00:06:43,930 --> 00:06:44,930
Go get her.
95
00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:47,820
Wish me luck.
96
00:06:48,060 --> 00:06:49,060
That's my boy.
97
00:06:49,140 --> 00:06:50,140
You're a stud.
98
00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:57,860
I
99
00:06:57,860 --> 00:07:06,020
thought
100
00:07:06,020 --> 00:07:07,020
you were in the kitchen.
101
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:08,600
Yeah.
102
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:12,680
Chicken.
103
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:19,740
make some woman a great second husband.
104
00:07:32,780 --> 00:07:33,960
Told you about the housekeeper?
105
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:37,400
Nope. You better hurry because TJ
spilled some grape juice on our bedroom
106
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,960
carpet. You just left it there?
107
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,000
No, we put the nightstand over it.
108
00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:45,660
That nightstand was covering the hole
you two morons cut on the floor when you
109
00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:46,920
were looking for a portal to hell.
110
00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:52,450
I'd have pushed you through it years
ago.
111
00:07:53,850 --> 00:07:54,850
Pass the butter.
112
00:07:55,590 --> 00:07:58,210
Listen, Dad, before you go and hire
somebody, we have some thoughts.
113
00:07:58,890 --> 00:08:03,390
Like, instead of going with another old
Spanish lady, we were thinking young and
114
00:08:03,390 --> 00:08:04,390
French.
115
00:08:05,910 --> 00:08:06,910
Young and French.
116
00:08:07,550 --> 00:08:08,550
And hot.
117
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:10,890
Oh, yeah.
118
00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:15,370
Tomorrow I'll go down to the hot young
French girl employment agency and find a
119
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,270
sexy girl who wants to scrub our
toilets.
120
00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:24,040
But make sure she's real hot.
121
00:08:27,820 --> 00:08:33,520
Let me ask you guys something.
122
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,380
One day you're going to go off to
college.
123
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,200
Or somewhere.
124
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:42,059
Who's going to cook your meals, wash
your clothes, clean your place?
125
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:44,920
Well, my girlfriend will cook and clean
for me.
126
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:48,320
Okay, but what if she catches you with
another girl and dumps you?
127
00:08:49,750 --> 00:08:52,050
Then the girl I cheated with will cook
and clean.
128
00:08:53,330 --> 00:08:54,470
I got news for you guys.
129
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:58,090
Women don't like to cook and clean for
men the way they used to.
130
00:09:01,630 --> 00:09:03,630
Somewhere along the way, they lost the
joy.
131
00:09:06,690 --> 00:09:09,690
What are you saying, Dad? I think I made
a mistake not teaching you how to do
132
00:09:09,690 --> 00:09:10,509
things for yourself.
133
00:09:10,510 --> 00:09:13,450
So from now on, the savages are self
-sufficient. I'm not hiring another
134
00:09:13,450 --> 00:09:14,670
housekeeper. What?
135
00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:27,330
to get your mother back here?
136
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:35,070
All right,
137
00:09:35,090 --> 00:09:37,830
if we each take a room, it'll get done
quicker. So, Jack, you take the living
138
00:09:37,830 --> 00:09:40,130
room. You two come with me. Yeah, I'm
not cleaning anything.
139
00:09:40,510 --> 00:09:41,690
And I don't think you should either.
140
00:09:41,910 --> 00:09:45,110
You're crazy, Dad. It'll kill us. Now,
if we clean this place, he'll know we
141
00:09:45,110 --> 00:09:45,609
do it.
142
00:09:45,610 --> 00:09:46,750
He'll never hire anyone again.
143
00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:48,710
Won't stop there.
144
00:09:48,990 --> 00:09:49,990
He'll love it.
145
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,920
aprons for Christmas? There is no
Christmas for dead kids.
146
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:08,760
Yeah, I'd rather be dead than
responsible.
147
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:10,520
That makes sense to me.
148
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:15,360
Do you see how stupid your argument is,
Jack? Chris agrees with you.
149
00:10:17,220 --> 00:10:18,420
Come on, let's get started.
150
00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:21,900
Aprons for Christmas.
151
00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:24,680
I got one for you.
152
00:10:26,580 --> 00:10:27,760
Aprons for Christmas.
153
00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:30,380
It's a slave labor blues.
154
00:10:34,410 --> 00:10:37,210
want an apron for Christmas. Me either.
I want a dirt bike.
155
00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:42,810
You guys are crazy. Dad's going to
aprons for Christmas.
156
00:10:43,990 --> 00:10:45,530
One size fits all.
157
00:10:46,790 --> 00:10:48,530
No football, no baseball.
158
00:11:30,199 --> 00:11:32,540
mildew, grime. What am I, a scientist?
159
00:11:34,540 --> 00:11:37,940
And we were afraid to make dinner
because we smelled gas coming from the
160
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:39,360
It's electric.
161
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:45,240
Do you guys think I'm going to cave and
hire a housekeeper? Just admit it. No,
162
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:48,320
Dad, we tried real hard. You just have
to accept the fact that we'll never be
163
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,420
professional housecleaners.
164
00:11:49,780 --> 00:11:53,540
Yeah, and isn't it more important that
we're good people?
165
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,240
Admit it.
166
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:02,760
Admit what, Dad?
167
00:12:03,060 --> 00:12:04,720
That bitch, you're going in the pit.
168
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:12,120
I was polishing the furniture with that
lemon stuff. Honest, smell my hands. I
169
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:12,999
was.
170
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,040
Then Jack said, you're going to turn us
into women. And he started singing that
171
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:20,120
song, Aprons for Christmas. And
everybody joined in. It was really
172
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,960
And we all deserve to be punished.
173
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:24,660
Especially Jack.
174
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:27,620
Thank you, Chris.
175
00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:31,380
I appreciate your honesty.
176
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:35,460
First of all, I'm not trying to turn you
into women.
177
00:12:36,420 --> 00:12:39,260
And second, I'm not punishing anyone.
178
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,220
You guys don't want to learn how to do
things for yourselves?
179
00:12:42,660 --> 00:12:43,660
Fine.
180
00:12:44,340 --> 00:12:45,720
Live like helpless pigs.
181
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:58,160
And third, I never want to smell your
182
00:12:58,160 --> 00:12:59,160
hands again.
183
00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:52,630
Only thing I smell is the sweet aroma of
a new housekeeper.
184
00:13:53,510 --> 00:13:55,910
Hey, Kyle, do you have any clean
underwear I can borrow?
185
00:13:56,430 --> 00:13:58,230
No, I lost some of mine in the fire.
186
00:14:00,350 --> 00:14:03,570
Just turn them inside out. That way each
pair lasts four days.
187
00:14:05,810 --> 00:14:08,330
You mean two days. Your underwear only
has two sides.
188
00:14:09,090 --> 00:14:10,370
No, four.
189
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,250
One, two...
190
00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:32,860
cups. You can look all you want.
191
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,200
Even maggots need exercise.
192
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,380
Eventually. I know where you parked.
193
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:50,740
Angela's gone.
194
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,840
So ready to make my move.
195
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,239
No kids.
196
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,080
She sure goes through a lot of diapers.
197
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:21,600
He's here!
198
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:23,400
I got you!
199
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:28,480
Hey, Dad.
200
00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:31,300
Unbelievable.
201
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,620
This is the stupidest plan you've ever
come up with.
202
00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:38,460
What are you talking about?
203
00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:39,740
This isn't even our trash.
204
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,500
Which one of you is using the denture
grip?
205
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:49,800
Uh, that'd be me.
206
00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:54,360
It helps me get a better grip on the
football.
207
00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:57,180
Uh -huh.
208
00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:59,020
How about the Vagisil?
209
00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:07,020
You're taking this one.
210
00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:09,420
Well, you see... Shut up!
211
00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:14,880
All right, I get it. You guys are far...
bigger pigs than I ever gave you credit
212
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,520
for. Thank you.
213
00:17:18,599 --> 00:17:24,420
And obviously we can't go on living like
this, so... Oh, Sam, I forgot to tell
214
00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:28,660
you. I ran into Angela outside. She
looked kind of bored, so I invited her
215
00:17:28,660 --> 00:17:29,940
for pizza and a movie.
216
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:33,800
Angela?
217
00:17:33,940 --> 00:17:34,899
My Angela?
218
00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:35,900
He's bluffing.
219
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,080
It's Angela.
220
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:38,840
Uh,
221
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,750
give me just a sec. The place is a
little messy.
222
00:17:44,710 --> 00:17:45,910
Start cleaning now!
223
00:17:49,270 --> 00:17:50,270
Nobody move!
224
00:17:51,530 --> 00:17:55,410
Sam, Dad's using you to get his way.
He's trying to drive a wedge between us.
225
00:17:55,430 --> 00:17:57,910
Can't you see? I don't care. It's
Angela.
226
00:17:58,210 --> 00:18:00,730
Angela! Sam, don't quit now. We're
winning.
227
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:07,960
for today?
228
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,199
It's a start.
229
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,420
That was a pretty cool thing you did for
Sam, though.
230
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,260
Yeah, well, the important thing is I got
what I wanted.
231
00:19:24,340 --> 00:19:27,700
So, do your dad and brothers go to the
library every Saturday night?
232
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:30,840
Oh, yeah. You just try and keep them
away.
233
00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:05,750
to ask me to the dance?
234
00:20:06,070 --> 00:20:07,070
Mm -hmm.
235
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:11,190
Sorry, I have to babysit that night.
236
00:20:14,410 --> 00:20:15,750
I understand.
237
00:20:19,270 --> 00:20:20,650
You want to babysit with me?
17590
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