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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,020 --> 00:00:07,600 Eddie, I called you up here because you're a tortured soul, right? Yeah. 2 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:10,820 To me, you don't seem that tortured. 3 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:17,320 Oh, no. The demons do a number on me. I mean, you hear my screams, they echo. 4 00:00:18,420 --> 00:00:23,720 You hear that, right? I know those guys are buddies of yours. 5 00:00:28,300 --> 00:00:33,520 Okay, you got things going on like, I mean, Gary's on his phone a lot. Their 6 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:37,020 heart's just not into it. Hot pokers again? 7 00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:40,780 I think the main torture with these guys is boredom. 8 00:00:43,780 --> 00:00:50,360 This little computer got a game on it where you can be your own dolphin and 9 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:53,080 can name it. Guess what I named mine? What? 10 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,360 Ted. Ted? 11 00:00:55,900 --> 00:00:58,940 Someone be flaming open with those whips. Yeah, you're in a hurry to get 12 00:00:58,940 --> 00:00:59,940 ass whipped, ain't you? 13 00:01:00,020 --> 00:01:01,020 Y 'all flayed now? 14 00:01:01,820 --> 00:01:02,820 Flay master? 15 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:07,600 I can go for some coffee. Ooh, coffee now. That'd be good. How do you take 16 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:08,600 coffee? 17 00:01:09,660 --> 00:01:11,920 Black. Like I'm gonna make your bottom. 18 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:13,720 You're doing those miracles. 19 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,140 Hello? Yeah, hey, how's your torture going? 20 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,480 That's you guys! 21 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:25,520 Phoning it in. Open up your books, your torture manuals, your chapter one. 22 00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:29,340 Don't even start with me. Understanding your pitchfork. Let's go. 23 00:01:51,630 --> 00:01:55,870 as a consultant to light a fire under your asses because apparently real fire 24 00:01:55,870 --> 00:01:56,870 isn't enough. 25 00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:58,410 Yeah, he dead. 26 00:01:58,510 --> 00:01:59,510 Gary, pay attention. 27 00:01:59,970 --> 00:02:03,090 Right. All right, I assume you guys all have your books open to chapter one, 28 00:02:03,170 --> 00:02:04,128 yes? Yes. 29 00:02:04,130 --> 00:02:08,090 Start ripping those pages out. I want you to take all those pages, roll them 30 00:02:08,090 --> 00:02:11,450 nice and tight, and then I want you to shove those pages right up your ass. 31 00:02:11,690 --> 00:02:14,610 And then once you're done shoving them up your ass, then you can pull them out 32 00:02:14,610 --> 00:02:17,930 of your ass because apparently that's what you guys have been doing with your 33 00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:20,670 tortures, pulling them out of your ass. Gary. 34 00:02:21,190 --> 00:02:23,510 Don't literally do it. Everyone take a new soul. 35 00:02:23,730 --> 00:02:25,510 I want you to get to know that soul. 36 00:02:25,750 --> 00:02:29,730 And I want you to design a unique torture for each and every one of them. 37 00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:31,090 you guys to dazzle me with these. 38 00:02:31,370 --> 00:02:33,510 More importantly, you want to dazzle him. 39 00:02:33,710 --> 00:02:37,210 Because if you don't... I'll take your horns and you'll be demoted to a 40 00:02:37,210 --> 00:02:39,810 soul. Where can I take a shower and get this shit off me? 41 00:02:40,030 --> 00:02:41,670 Uh, diarrhea lagoon. 42 00:02:42,489 --> 00:02:45,830 Diarrhea lagoon is not going to work. Well, the acidity is like an astringent. 43 00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:48,750 don't want diarrhea on me. Where can I get a clean shower, clean water to get 44 00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:51,270 all this muck off me? There's the donkey cum waterfall. 45 00:02:51,670 --> 00:02:52,910 Donkey cum waterfall? 46 00:02:53,450 --> 00:02:57,610 Yeah. If someone piss on me, I want this off me. If it's piss, I don't care. All 47 00:02:57,610 --> 00:02:58,610 right. I'll take it. 48 00:03:24,110 --> 00:03:26,470 Gary, you've been downloading porn this whole week? No. 49 00:03:28,850 --> 00:03:31,170 Yes. But it's just this one picture. 50 00:03:37,710 --> 00:03:40,530 Very disturbing, Benji. You can teach my seminar someday. 51 00:03:40,850 --> 00:03:44,010 Thank you. Way too much going on here. Quality, not quantity. 52 00:03:44,910 --> 00:03:47,130 I'm T -Head. My victim loves golf. 53 00:03:47,510 --> 00:03:51,050 You know what? Focus on his fears, not his hobbies. But otherwise, a hole -in 54 00:03:51,050 --> 00:03:52,050 -one VC. Very good. 55 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:56,020 So you must have a really great torture already figured out, right? I'm gonna 56 00:03:56,020 --> 00:03:59,320 be... Staple in the head, guys. 57 00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,100 That. 58 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:06,240 So you're doing exactly what VC was doing, except you're just using little 59 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,160 staples. VC's just ripping off a Hellraiser, and nobody wants to talk 60 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:13,580 that. What he's doing is an homage to Hellraiser. What you're doing is just 61 00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:18,519 blindly copying off VC. It's a parody of him. I'm weird -owling what he's doing. 62 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,540 Weird -owling him, okay. I have nothing. 63 00:04:21,269 --> 00:04:24,050 Gate for you? I have absolutely nothing. 64 00:04:24,310 --> 00:04:27,030 Help me. Please help me. I need help. 65 00:04:27,330 --> 00:04:28,330 Something wrong, Gary? 66 00:04:28,390 --> 00:04:29,570 No, things are really good. 67 00:04:30,050 --> 00:04:33,070 My torture is so scary it makes me want to cry. 68 00:04:34,030 --> 00:04:36,510 I'm going to blow everybody's asses out of the water. 69 00:04:37,470 --> 00:04:39,610 Okay. I like the two. Nice. 70 00:04:41,190 --> 00:04:42,690 I'm T -Head. I know! 71 00:04:43,430 --> 00:04:44,430 All right? 72 00:04:44,730 --> 00:04:46,830 I know. Get the hell out of here. 73 00:04:48,780 --> 00:04:50,860 Just think of something horrific from your childhood. 74 00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:55,920 Is this Scooby -Doo? 75 00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:59,160 No, I didn't have that, so I just got you this scary thing instead. 76 00:04:59,580 --> 00:05:01,120 I don't know. Yeah, it's Scooby -Doo. 77 00:05:01,580 --> 00:05:05,440 Okay, if your mother calls, you tell her I'm in the bathroom, all right? If you 78 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:06,620 need to know, I'm at the game. 79 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:08,440 Go Pythons, yeah? 80 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,270 It's a sheer delight to meet you. 81 00:05:20,670 --> 00:05:27,630 I think 82 00:05:27,630 --> 00:05:28,630 I got it. 83 00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:29,850 Thanks, Troy. 84 00:05:37,050 --> 00:05:39,390 It's a sheer delight to meet you. 85 00:05:39,850 --> 00:05:43,830 You can't see, but I'm a puppet holding pruning shears. 86 00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:45,990 Hello? The patient awakens. 87 00:05:46,470 --> 00:05:48,690 The surgery was a complete success. 88 00:05:49,210 --> 00:05:53,670 Oh my god. God, I can't help you here. No, I was going to say, this is just 89 00:05:53,670 --> 00:05:54,670 that movie Sutures. 90 00:05:54,810 --> 00:05:56,570 This is nothing like the movie Sutures. 91 00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,450 Is there a phone hidden in one of five incisions in my body? 92 00:05:59,910 --> 00:06:03,010 Yes. Well, I'm guessing it's in this bulge right here? 93 00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:05,630 Yeah. 94 00:06:06,370 --> 00:06:08,090 Yeah, let's get the phone. Take out the phone. 95 00:06:08,330 --> 00:06:12,930 Cool. Is it going to explode like in the movie, Sutures? I don't feel any ideas 96 00:06:12,930 --> 00:06:14,510 from the movie, Sutures. 97 00:06:14,730 --> 00:06:16,530 Okay? It's a hack job film. 98 00:06:16,950 --> 00:06:21,370 Sutures 2 through 8 were phoned in. All right? They lost the whole original cast 99 00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:22,490 and the original director. 100 00:06:22,870 --> 00:06:26,910 Okay. The only way to activate the bomb that may or may not be in that cell 101 00:06:26,910 --> 00:06:30,810 phone, this sounds different from Sutures, is that you need to take out 102 00:06:30,810 --> 00:06:35,550 phone. And you need to call your estranged father to get the password. 103 00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:38,900 I mean, I like my dad, so it's not that big a deal. 104 00:06:39,380 --> 00:06:44,160 My guy's dead. 105 00:06:44,940 --> 00:06:47,360 Gotta wait a day for his body to reconstitute. 106 00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:48,700 What did you do? 107 00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:52,460 Pulled his skin off, made a skin suit, and then I raped him. Because I thought 108 00:06:52,460 --> 00:06:54,460 it'd be shocking to get raped by yourself. 109 00:06:54,740 --> 00:06:56,680 Yeah. But he was already in shock. 110 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,700 And then I ate him because I just wanted to top myself. 111 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,820 I wish I could do it again because it's just... 112 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:07,540 I'm just a little OCD that way. You did all that in seven minutes? 113 00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:13,140 Yeah. It's on my record. He was tough. He was a bodybuilder. He was tender off 114 00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:14,980 the bone like a toddler. 115 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,180 Can you get out of here so I can focus a little? Oh, sure. Yeah. Okay. Don't 116 00:07:18,180 --> 00:07:20,200 work too hard. Get away from me. Get away from me. 117 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,420 You're so sensitive. 118 00:07:24,380 --> 00:07:27,420 Do you have any other specific memories of your father that may make you cry or 119 00:07:27,420 --> 00:07:28,039 be scared? 120 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,040 None that I'm aware of. 121 00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:32,450 Do you mean to tell me your dad never, like, whacked you on the head and said, 122 00:07:32,570 --> 00:07:33,890 hello, is anybody home? 123 00:07:34,670 --> 00:07:38,970 No. My dad was pretty great growing up. Oh, yeah. But what about the time when 124 00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:42,570 you were playing baseball and you missed the ball and he was like, Gary the 125 00:07:42,570 --> 00:07:44,970 fairy, Gary the fairy. 126 00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:46,530 Your dad did that to you? 127 00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:49,010 Yeah. 128 00:07:50,550 --> 00:07:51,489 Oh, man. 129 00:07:51,490 --> 00:07:55,310 It sounds like you should talk to him, maybe. Like, tell him how you feel. 130 00:07:55,570 --> 00:07:56,570 What would I say to him? 131 00:07:57,430 --> 00:07:58,430 You know? 132 00:07:59,050 --> 00:08:01,890 Why did you lock me up in a hot car when I was nine? 133 00:08:02,490 --> 00:08:04,930 Did you not know how to open a car door when you were nine? 134 00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:06,270 I didn't know how to do it. 135 00:08:06,870 --> 00:08:08,130 I was told not to. 136 00:08:08,490 --> 00:08:11,490 I was afraid that if I walked out into the parking lot, I'd get lost. 137 00:08:12,070 --> 00:08:13,370 Well, what's your dad's name? 138 00:08:14,090 --> 00:08:15,090 Lamar Bunda. 139 00:08:15,170 --> 00:08:16,990 Okay. What are you doing? 140 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:20,050 Information for Lamar Bunda. No, no, don't. We... 141 00:08:20,050 --> 00:08:25,930 Lamar. 142 00:08:26,870 --> 00:08:28,090 You there? You there? 143 00:08:28,719 --> 00:08:29,980 Oh, what should I say? 144 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:31,280 Hello? 145 00:08:31,780 --> 00:08:33,120 Is this Lamar Banda? 146 00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:35,460 Please take me off your list, please. 147 00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:40,200 That was him. 148 00:08:40,659 --> 00:08:41,659 That was my dad. 149 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,720 Well, I mean, I have his address. Do you want to go pay him a visit? 150 00:08:44,980 --> 00:08:48,060 How long do I have before I explode? Oh, I didn't do any of that stuff. 151 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:49,440 Oh. Let's see. 152 00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:51,660 Whoa. 153 00:08:51,820 --> 00:08:53,460 This old fury's just like my dad. 154 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,500 What? Did you rent this? Oh, no, this is mine. 155 00:08:55,780 --> 00:08:56,780 Want to get back? 156 00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:58,560 In the back? Yeah. 157 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:00,480 All right. 158 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:12,000 You see 159 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:16,780 that? Huh? That's how it's done. 160 00:09:16,980 --> 00:09:17,980 It's too easy. 161 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,940 I think Gary might be a little late for the meeting. 162 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:24,160 You think? 163 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:29,080 Guys, this is what I've been preaching all week. He's got a hot car and a 164 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:30,680 puppet, and he's in Gary's head. 165 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:34,440 Not everybody has to be cut up and eaten, Benji. 166 00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:37,580 Somebody's watching the end of the tape here. I'm an adult. You're just a 167 00:09:37,580 --> 00:09:38,980 puppet. You suck on that puppet. 168 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:42,680 Yeah, all right. I'd like to leave this parking lot. I ain't got my life. It's 169 00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:43,680 the sheer delight. 170 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,160 Wait, where are you going? 171 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:46,480 Come on, man. 172 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,200 Oh. 173 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:55,800 Dad? 174 00:09:58,480 --> 00:09:59,820 It's been a long time. 175 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:03,280 I didn't know you were in the Army, Dad. 176 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:06,660 Yeah, I came home from the war, had a kid. 177 00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:09,540 I didn't know what I was doing. No, you did not. 178 00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:12,980 I just didn't want you turning into a big fairy. 179 00:10:13,340 --> 00:10:18,560 Well, Pappy, I'm not a fairy. I know, son. And I think I had a big hand in 180 00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:19,900 You did. 181 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:21,560 You really did. 182 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,580 Apparently they're on a fishing trip together down in the Keys. 183 00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:27,580 Troy, your biggest fear is being one -upped by Gary. 184 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:35,440 It was just nice to see my dad in his element. 185 00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:37,500 Drunk. 186 00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:38,700 On the water. 187 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:41,760 Ignoring a lot of what I was saying. 188 00:10:42,660 --> 00:10:48,880 But there, me and Dad, we were pulling up Martins left and right. Easy peasy 189 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,820 Japanesey. Just jumping into the boat. 190 00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:54,190 Game warden came over and said we had to throw all the Martins back. It's called 191 00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:55,190 Marlins, Gary. 192 00:10:55,730 --> 00:10:58,330 It's Marlins. I'll be a Martin in my face! 193 00:10:58,970 --> 00:11:01,810 Yeah! Yeah! Coffee run. You guys want coffee? 194 00:11:02,630 --> 00:11:04,370 I'd love a large macchiato. No! 195 00:11:04,850 --> 00:11:05,850 No. 196 00:11:05,970 --> 00:11:06,970 Get him a medium. 197 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:21,320 Ha ha ha! 15015