All language subtitles for Your Pretty Face Is Going To Hell s03e05 The Tree-Hugger Bomber

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,180 --> 00:00:06,240 Dolphins are man's best friend, not dogs. 2 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:14,100 You're killing the coral reefs with bad chem -chemicals. Uh, 3 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:18,320 don't quote me, but I think you want U apostrophe R -E on that, Ted. It's not 4 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:22,680 the possessive. Then you're beeswax, Cliff. It's one R in coral, too. You're 5 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:23,680 spelling it corral. 6 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:25,660 What, are you trying to save a dude ranch or something? 7 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:28,000 It's about saving the reef. Okay. 8 00:00:28,300 --> 00:00:29,600 Hey, Ted. What's up? Gary! 9 00:00:30,570 --> 00:00:33,870 You got any white out? No, I do not. Satan wants you in the conference room. 10 00:00:33,870 --> 00:00:34,870 you not get the email? 11 00:00:35,250 --> 00:00:39,330 Are you kidding? He doesn't read emails, Gary. He doesn't even have an email 12 00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:42,490 account. You don't tell me what to do. Did you grab your buddy Cliff there? 13 00:00:42,650 --> 00:00:45,010 Because Satan wants him there too, so... I don't trust him. 14 00:00:45,890 --> 00:00:47,190 He's not a regular man. 15 00:00:48,310 --> 00:00:49,310 I don't care. 16 00:00:52,370 --> 00:00:58,170 And here he is. 17 00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:05,260 Listen, 18 00:01:05,660 --> 00:01:09,460 I know you hate attention and you crave your privacy, so we're going to give you 19 00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:11,120 lots of attention and take away your privacy. 20 00:01:11,380 --> 00:01:13,120 We have a roast of Ted's honor, gentlemen. 21 00:01:14,420 --> 00:01:19,000 Does anybody recognize this? 22 00:01:20,260 --> 00:01:21,780 That's the tree huger bomber. 23 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:25,040 He was bombing people who made trees huger. 24 00:01:26,110 --> 00:01:30,810 Tree hugger. No, no, that's correct, Gary. This was the tree huger bomber, 25 00:01:30,810 --> 00:01:34,390 semi -literate echo terrorist from the 80s. The one and only Ted! 26 00:01:34,590 --> 00:01:36,090 Yes! Ted! 27 00:01:36,890 --> 00:01:39,630 Ted! Ted! Yeah, you saw it! 28 00:01:40,010 --> 00:01:43,670 I put together a little highlight reel of Ted's important environmental work 29 00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:48,490 the trees and the birds and the dolphins and the flowers. Watch this! 30 00:01:48,770 --> 00:01:49,770 Yo! Ho! 31 00:01:50,390 --> 00:01:52,550 You're killing the turtles. 32 00:01:53,340 --> 00:01:55,460 Your? Like in days of yours? 33 00:01:55,660 --> 00:01:57,060 We don't have any turtles. 34 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:05,780 Now you're not big into swimming, but to you it's to get in the water with one 35 00:02:05,780 --> 00:02:07,960 of them dolphins and swim around with them a little bit. 36 00:02:08,180 --> 00:02:10,340 I tell you, you love them just like I love them. 37 00:02:14,220 --> 00:02:18,940 He's the only one that truly understands me. 38 00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,080 I can talk to you about my theories. 39 00:02:22,990 --> 00:02:26,210 Wait, Angela, you're a married woman. 40 00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:31,050 Oh, no, no. 41 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:56,760 and a homemade acorn pie. 42 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:06,080 But no wonder the FBI had never found you, 43 00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:07,760 Ted. Who'd want to go in that dump? 44 00:03:09,620 --> 00:03:12,560 All right, listen, I got Ted a little present here. 45 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,000 We know how much you love animals. 46 00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:18,100 That's your paperweight. So we put a little dolphin head in there. 47 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:37,120 2 ,162 pages of Ted's Manifesto. I hope you can read the fine print! 48 00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:42,460 And that's my only copy! 49 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:49,100 I have a two million dollar bounty on my head. How much are you nerds worth, 50 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,220 huh? Vilch, probably. 51 00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:53,100 Nerds! 52 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:54,720 You bitch! 53 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,200 Well, 54 00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,700 good party, guys. Yeah, Gary. 55 00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:02,980 On the invitation, you said there would be cake, that the cake would not be made 56 00:04:02,980 --> 00:04:04,040 out of manure or bugs. 57 00:04:04,260 --> 00:04:07,200 There would be chocolate inside of the cake. Yeah, it does have a little 58 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,040 chocolate holding the manure and the bugs together. 59 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,200 I'm a 60 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:27,880 police 61 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:29,120 siren. Really? 62 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:30,940 Has anyone seen Ted? 63 00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:32,780 No, not since the roast. 64 00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:37,340 I think we may have been a little bit hard on him. There he is. Ted, my man. 65 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,000 I get that a lot. Different Ted. 66 00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:41,840 Benji? 67 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:43,520 Yeah. 68 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:44,960 Troy. 69 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:48,440 Oh, look at this. There's one for Gary? 70 00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:49,980 You know me, Ted. 71 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:51,460 That must be pretty popular. 72 00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:55,900 Should open those suckers up. Come on, Ted. We're sorry about the joke. 73 00:04:56,340 --> 00:04:57,960 Plus, we know these are bots. 74 00:04:58,380 --> 00:04:59,380 Mine is a... 75 00:04:59,470 --> 00:05:03,430 pile of bat turds with a timer. That's so funny because those mines. You try 76 00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:05,470 finding fertilizer in hell. 77 00:05:05,690 --> 00:05:06,690 No, that's not funny. 78 00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:08,890 I did. 79 00:05:09,430 --> 00:05:10,369 Oh, no. 80 00:05:10,370 --> 00:05:11,510 Mine's going to blow up. 81 00:05:12,450 --> 00:05:13,450 Ted. 82 00:05:18,510 --> 00:05:19,930 I'm all alone down here. 83 00:05:22,550 --> 00:05:23,630 You're not alone, Ted. 84 00:05:24,590 --> 00:05:28,350 I read your manifesto and I think you had a lot of good ideas in there. 85 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:30,800 Not the stuff about blowing up computers, of course. 86 00:05:31,140 --> 00:05:33,140 What does it matter? Satan shredded it anyway. 87 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:35,580 I scanned it. It's right here. 88 00:05:35,820 --> 00:05:36,820 In my belly! 89 00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:40,080 And I can spell check it for you, too. 90 00:05:40,820 --> 00:05:41,900 You'd do that for me? 91 00:05:42,140 --> 00:05:43,140 Of course I would. 92 00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:44,340 What are friends for? 93 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,200 I do have friends. 94 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:55,240 That's not how you spell bomb -making spilling. 95 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,740 Technology's not so scary after all, is it? 96 00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:04,040 See? Bad guano will explode, if you know how to mix it. 97 00:06:04,860 --> 00:06:06,960 It's a label template with stickers. 98 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,300 Now doesn't that look more professional? 99 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:13,620 Up top! I think people are going to be really impressed today. 100 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,780 Thanks, Percy! 101 00:06:21,550 --> 00:06:23,270 Now this is how you address a package. 102 00:06:23,810 --> 00:06:25,670 Ted could really learn from whoever did this. 103 00:06:26,050 --> 00:06:27,930 Does that package smell like batshit? 104 00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:31,770 Oh yeah. 105 00:06:32,370 --> 00:06:33,370 Don't open it! 106 00:06:33,550 --> 00:06:35,550 Now you know what? You should open it! 107 00:06:35,910 --> 00:06:37,090 Don't you yell at me. 108 00:06:37,290 --> 00:06:39,350 And where are your arms? You idiot. 109 00:06:39,610 --> 00:06:40,610 You look dumb. 110 00:06:41,170 --> 00:06:43,710 I may have already won, and I like those asses. 111 00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:56,660 Moses? What's that prick want? 112 00:06:58,300 --> 00:06:59,320 He opened it! 113 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:00,960 He got the message! 114 00:07:01,260 --> 00:07:05,200 Holy moly! I may have killed Satan. 115 00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:07,620 It's getting hot. 116 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:08,840 We gotta lay low. 117 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:12,680 Or lay high. Top side. Up top. Know what I mean? 118 00:07:13,020 --> 00:07:16,860 Earth? Well, your body's still up there, Ted. Frozen in that shack. If we can 119 00:07:16,860 --> 00:07:20,720 get your soul back up into your body, there's no limit to the number of people 120 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:21,699 we can explode. 121 00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:22,700 You're right. 122 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,400 Let's blow this popsicle stand. 123 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:27,360 Oh, wait. 124 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:28,520 We already did. 125 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,400 She's talking about hell. I know. I got what you were talking about. 126 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:40,360 Just like I remember it. One room, but it's roomy. Real roomy. 127 00:07:41,540 --> 00:07:43,500 Angela, you waited. 128 00:07:45,060 --> 00:07:46,160 My tap shoes. 129 00:07:47,140 --> 00:07:48,660 Right there on my dead body. 130 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:51,420 Hey, try it on. Let's see how it looks. 131 00:08:06,190 --> 00:08:10,010 Hey, you look really good. I know we don't have electricity in here, but... 132 00:08:10,010 --> 00:08:13,970 Cliff, we'll get you a phone, get you Wi -Fi. 133 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,570 We're going to start bombing people. 134 00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:19,310 Like you taught me, more professional, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Turn around, 135 00:08:19,570 --> 00:08:21,610 dude. Let's see those legs working, huh? 136 00:08:21,850 --> 00:08:24,510 Yeah. You and me, man. We're going to do it. 137 00:08:27,370 --> 00:08:30,890 Yeah, FBI, please. Yeah, I have a tip on the tree huger bomber. 138 00:08:31,150 --> 00:08:33,169 Yeah, is that $2 million reward still available? 139 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:39,100 For my last meal, I'd like one freshly baked acorn. 140 00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:48,420 Two million dollars worth of cocaine and hookers. Boom. Gone. I had never tried 141 00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:51,000 alcohol before. Can you believe that? It's amazing. 142 00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:54,100 But all the solders came loose on my motherboard. 143 00:08:54,380 --> 00:08:56,600 Burned up my hard drive. I really did. 144 00:08:56,860 --> 00:08:59,660 That's what happens when you're bumping and grinding, you know. 145 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:01,280 Vegas, baby. 146 00:09:01,670 --> 00:09:04,050 Yeah, sounds like you had a real wild time. 147 00:09:04,430 --> 00:09:07,070 I did. I very much did. Are you getting this or what? 148 00:09:07,770 --> 00:09:08,770 Getting what? 149 00:09:08,790 --> 00:09:13,710 The document I'm sending to you. Hey, Ted. Troy, have a moment with your 150 00:09:13,710 --> 00:09:18,130 computer? Hey, sorry about the shack, man. My CD -ROM 5 is all wonky. I'm 151 00:09:18,130 --> 00:09:20,370 to gouge your eyes out. 152 00:09:21,410 --> 00:09:22,550 Hey, Ted. 153 00:09:23,470 --> 00:09:26,330 Welcome back, buddy. Come with me. I got a new job for you. 154 00:09:30,060 --> 00:09:31,060 You don't have the balls. 155 00:09:32,860 --> 00:09:34,460 New department I've started, Ted. 156 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,500 And I want you to run it for me. 157 00:09:37,860 --> 00:09:41,940 Yep. So what you have to do is you take a hook and you slam it into the 158 00:09:41,940 --> 00:09:45,680 blowhole. Take this and you cut off the schnapps. Pretty quick. 159 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,980 They're going to be making lots of... But trust me, they're not giggling. 160 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:50,019 They're in a lot of pain. 161 00:09:50,020 --> 00:09:54,080 Get 50 of them done by the end of the day today and then we'll work our way 162 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,160 All right? 163 00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:01,630 Don't make it hard on yourself. I don't want to do it. I know. 164 00:10:02,890 --> 00:10:03,330 I 165 00:10:03,330 --> 00:10:10,310 can't cut your 166 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,249 nose off? 167 00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:15,670 God, you sleek, beautiful, genius of the sea. 168 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,330 Need a little help? 169 00:10:24,630 --> 00:10:28,250 Cut it? Ted, man, welcome back, brother. We missed you. 170 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:29,600 What's all this stuff? 171 00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:33,400 We knew you didn't want to cut off the noses of those dolphins, so we're going 172 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,400 to do it for you. 173 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:39,500 Guys! Satan never said anything about not sewing those snouts back on. 174 00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:44,580 So what I brought was a little bit of sewing thread and a needle and some 175 00:10:44,580 --> 00:10:47,940 antiseptic. And what we'll do is we'll sew the snouts back on their bodies. 176 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,280 They'll be out in the ocean dancing and singing for the rest of their lives, 177 00:10:51,340 --> 00:10:55,560 naturally. Don't sew the snouts back on. No, we definitely won't do that. 178 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:57,320 Want those dolphins to bleed out. 179 00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:02,960 Man, his hearing has gotten, like, way better. Can I just have some of the 180 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,380 water? No. No water. 181 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:06,280 Bit it. 182 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,280 Anyway. Sorry, dude. 183 00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:14,680 See you guys. 184 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:15,760 Probably not. 13531

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