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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:07,220 I used to make this piece of cake, and my brother would just get so mad at me. 2 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:09,620 Whoa! Did you see that? 3 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:10,960 It was a spaceship! 4 00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:34,980 Where'd you get that gun? 5 00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:36,500 My dad's nice, man. 6 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:52,820 Damn, you ugly slut. 7 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:54,580 Now you in hell. 8 00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:59,240 So people can't catch a break. No, no, no, DJ, no. It's guys, it's aliens 9 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:00,270 from... space. 10 00:01:01,070 --> 00:01:02,070 He's great. 11 00:01:02,250 --> 00:01:03,430 He's here to promote peace. 12 00:01:03,650 --> 00:01:05,510 He's here to save the universe. 13 00:01:06,030 --> 00:01:07,750 And he doesn't belong here. 14 00:01:07,950 --> 00:01:12,370 Hey, ex -files, if you die on Earth, you don't believe in Jesus, you get the 15 00:01:12,370 --> 00:01:15,670 hook. Now hook him. See, that's what I'm talking about. No, no, no! I will not 16 00:01:15,670 --> 00:01:17,950 face the wrath of the Intergalactic Committee. 17 00:01:18,230 --> 00:01:21,390 And I refuse to gut any more molesters until you bring them down. 18 00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:39,890 You all right, Eddie? 19 00:01:43,650 --> 00:01:45,610 Oh, thank you. 20 00:01:46,450 --> 00:01:47,470 Oh, my God. 21 00:01:48,050 --> 00:01:49,910 You healed all of Eddie's wounds. 22 00:01:50,930 --> 00:01:52,030 All right, do it again. 23 00:01:53,110 --> 00:01:55,190 Thank you. 24 00:01:57,390 --> 00:01:58,390 What? 25 00:01:59,570 --> 00:02:04,710 Because you healed Eddie's wounds, I'm going to call you... 26 00:02:04,710 --> 00:02:09,669 Healy. Hey, what's going on? 27 00:02:10,150 --> 00:02:12,890 Eddie's been down here for 45 minutes. He's completely unblemished. 28 00:02:13,090 --> 00:02:15,730 Well, it's because Healy's been healing him with his healing powers, you 29 00:02:15,730 --> 00:02:16,730 knucklehead. 30 00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:22,490 Healy? Healy is short for Healifer, and I am his Earth father. 31 00:02:22,730 --> 00:02:23,730 And it's amazing. 32 00:02:23,850 --> 00:02:25,330 It's proof that there's life in our space. 33 00:02:25,950 --> 00:02:27,430 Yeah, I'm not really into sci -fi. 34 00:02:27,670 --> 00:02:29,270 It's not sci -fi. It's just thigh. 35 00:02:29,590 --> 00:02:32,590 Will you do me a favor? Will you cut his head off and stick it on a spike and 36 00:02:32,590 --> 00:02:35,930 then slice his body up into pieces and make him eat the pieces? He's proved 37 00:02:35,930 --> 00:02:38,730 there is life force out in the... universe. 38 00:02:38,990 --> 00:02:43,470 He made my whip into a licorice whip with a peppermint handle. 39 00:02:44,070 --> 00:02:44,909 Healy, huh? 40 00:02:44,910 --> 00:02:46,330 Yeah. Yeah. Come here, Healy. 41 00:02:47,730 --> 00:02:48,730 Heal this, huh? 42 00:02:50,850 --> 00:02:51,850 Whoa! 43 00:02:52,690 --> 00:02:53,690 That's awesome! 44 00:02:54,230 --> 00:02:57,130 He gave me hair. You look like Willy Wonka's Coke dealer. 45 00:03:00,170 --> 00:03:04,710 He gave me licorice hair. He gave you licorice hair! Cut his head off. No, 46 00:03:04,710 --> 00:03:07,690 from Zeta Reticulum! Cut his finger off, too, and make him eat it. 47 00:03:11,050 --> 00:03:12,670 I don't want to do this. 48 00:03:13,230 --> 00:03:14,690 I know you're special. 49 00:03:15,290 --> 00:03:19,210 And you're my little peanut that I want to keep in a little basket. 50 00:03:19,510 --> 00:03:25,090 But they don't care that you're special or that you're cute or that you're my 51 00:03:25,090 --> 00:03:26,590 little peanut. Do they? 52 00:03:27,730 --> 00:03:29,730 Hold his big -ass weird feet. 53 00:03:30,390 --> 00:03:32,550 God bless you, little boys. 54 00:03:37,570 --> 00:03:38,570 Hey, look. 55 00:03:38,930 --> 00:03:39,970 What is it? 56 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,100 I don't know, man. Looks like plants or something. 57 00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:43,300 It's weed. 58 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:50,500 Look at this, Gary. 59 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:52,740 Tomatoes. Asparagus. 60 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:54,040 It was Haley. 61 00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,360 He made the vegetables grow in the tar sands. 62 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,280 That's a pepper. 63 00:03:58,760 --> 00:03:59,800 A yellow pepper. 64 00:04:00,780 --> 00:04:03,500 William. No, pal. Can you do me a favor? 65 00:04:03,780 --> 00:04:04,519 Sure, Gary. 66 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:05,520 What's up? 67 00:04:06,940 --> 00:04:09,420 I feel like my whole body's filling with energy. 68 00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:13,210 Yeah, I guess that's what happens when he eats something besides chalk for a 69 00:04:13,210 --> 00:04:15,150 change. Where do you get chalk from? 70 00:04:15,610 --> 00:04:17,029 I get it from a comics room. 71 00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:19,050 That's why I ain't no chalk, baby. 72 00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:21,869 Come on. 73 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:24,470 Hey, Haley, you're in disguise. 74 00:04:24,870 --> 00:04:26,790 Stop drawing attention to yourself. 75 00:04:27,170 --> 00:04:30,110 What the hell are you guys doing? Nothing. You know, just hanging out with 76 00:04:30,110 --> 00:04:32,110 friend William, you know, just chilling down. 77 00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:33,730 That ain't William. 78 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,780 That it was running slow, and so he's fixing it. 79 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,080 He's ripping his intestines out. 80 00:04:46,940 --> 00:04:47,940 Hello, Gary. 81 00:04:48,140 --> 00:04:50,580 Oh, look at that. He made a little translator. 82 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,760 I'm not sure what part of your planet this is, but I want to go home. Well, 83 00:04:54,780 --> 00:04:58,100 guess what? I want to go home. This guy wants to go home. Everybody here wants 84 00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:58,879 to go home. 85 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:00,720 You're a soul now. Your body's dead. 86 00:05:00,980 --> 00:05:03,320 I can get back into my body. On Earth? 87 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,240 Yes, I can heal myself. 88 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:09,860 We're not exactly supposed to leave, Healy. Help me get my body and I will 89 00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:12,800 you to my home planet. We have a tree that grows your favorite food. 90 00:05:13,140 --> 00:05:16,180 What do you mean, tell me? So you've got a tree that just grows pad thai? Yes, 91 00:05:16,180 --> 00:05:20,980 and we have horny sex robots that exist only to please you. All nude. Triple X. 92 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,760 I want to go. I want to go. No, no, no. Shut your mouth. 93 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:28,620 Shut your mouth. Let me ask them. They do hand jobs? 94 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:30,360 Well, they'll do anything. 95 00:05:31,020 --> 00:05:32,800 You can get more than hand jobs. 96 00:05:33,130 --> 00:05:36,830 I'm gonna tell me they got like real hands, right? And not like just claws. 97 00:05:36,910 --> 00:05:38,230 They're not gonna rip off my dick and balls. 98 00:05:38,670 --> 00:05:39,670 Uh, 99 00:05:41,130 --> 00:05:41,849 you know what? 100 00:05:41,850 --> 00:05:47,170 You're gonna take me too because otherwise I'm gonna tell Satan. 101 00:05:48,690 --> 00:05:52,150 Please don't do this. You're also fixing my eyesight because you know what? I'm 102 00:05:52,150 --> 00:05:53,210 sick of wearing these glasses. 103 00:05:53,470 --> 00:05:54,750 Okay, then down here. 104 00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:07,320 He was a liability, so I turned his face into corn. All right, well, I'm going 105 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:10,500 to go pack my stapler, then we can get out of here. Leave the stapler. My 106 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:11,740 has plenty of staplers. 107 00:06:12,780 --> 00:06:14,960 Yeah, you just hide in there. Just shh. 108 00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:17,020 All right. 109 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,720 Yeah, I just got to take the old machine topside, get standard maintenance 110 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:24,720 underwear. 111 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:29,980 For some reason, these photocopy repair places aren't down here. They're always 112 00:06:29,980 --> 00:06:30,980 up there. 113 00:06:31,150 --> 00:06:34,230 You know how it is with photocopiers, because you're always using them, and 114 00:06:34,230 --> 00:06:36,930 they, like, need maintenance pretty much standardly all the time, so I'm just 115 00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,050 taking her topside with her. 116 00:06:39,490 --> 00:06:40,490 Taking her topside. 117 00:06:40,570 --> 00:06:41,570 See you, buddy. 118 00:06:48,990 --> 00:06:51,770 According to my finger, my body's nearby. 119 00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:56,110 It's you! 120 00:06:56,530 --> 00:06:58,270 It's you! Oh, my God. 121 00:06:58,690 --> 00:07:00,210 They're playing with your gut. 122 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:01,680 Let me wide open. 123 00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:03,700 Why, you animals, why? 124 00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,580 That is too much to heal. There are my space shorts. 125 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:07,980 I can call my brother. 126 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,160 Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey. 127 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:11,439 Mention me. 128 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:15,180 You know, mention I'm coming with you guys. Tell him that we can have some pad 129 00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:18,920 thai on me. And my tree. The tree that grows all my favorite foods. 130 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,960 And then I can have some alone time with that robot that's just going to give me 131 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:23,960 hand jumps all night. 132 00:07:25,260 --> 00:07:26,640 Hold my translator. 133 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,340 No, but wait, wait, wait. Listen, hey. 134 00:07:28,810 --> 00:07:30,230 I'm really excited to meet you guys. 135 00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:33,170 I think it's going to be fun. I can't wait to meet you, son. 136 00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:34,990 Yes, 137 00:07:37,430 --> 00:07:39,530 I'm still alive. No thanks to you, dumbass. 138 00:07:39,870 --> 00:07:41,450 That was just some stupid Earthling. 139 00:07:42,110 --> 00:07:46,090 I do not give a shit if you have to ask off of work, Roy. This place is 140 00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:49,190 horrible. I'm going to push that we have this entire planet destroyed. 141 00:07:50,810 --> 00:07:51,810 What the hell are you doing? 142 00:07:54,110 --> 00:07:55,570 Oh, Doctor, yes, yes. 143 00:07:56,340 --> 00:07:58,180 Aliens are normal to see every day. 144 00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:04,740 My brother wanted me to tell you thank you for helping me. Why can't your 145 00:08:04,740 --> 00:08:07,360 brother just thank me in person while we're on your home planet? He said he's 146 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,800 bringing the smaller ship and you may not fit inside. 147 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,900 Well, I can just take left up. Won't that fix the problem? 148 00:08:13,140 --> 00:08:16,720 There are many sandstorms on my planet. You'll get a lot of sand in your pad 149 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:17,720 tie. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 150 00:08:17,820 --> 00:08:19,280 Are you backing out on me? 151 00:08:19,780 --> 00:08:21,200 Is that what I'm hearing from you? 152 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:23,620 Hey, where do you guys think you're going with that box? 153 00:08:24,810 --> 00:08:28,570 A lot of the beings on my planet are racist. You may have trouble finding 154 00:08:28,570 --> 00:08:31,130 with the way you look. I'll be fine as long as there is no Satan. 155 00:08:32,370 --> 00:08:33,510 What about Satan? 156 00:08:35,150 --> 00:08:36,150 Who told you? 157 00:08:36,570 --> 00:08:38,929 Was it Troy? Troy has a speech impediment. 158 00:08:40,010 --> 00:08:41,030 Shut your cornhole! 159 00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:43,950 Get that cornhole. 160 00:08:44,530 --> 00:08:45,530 Come with me. 161 00:08:50,790 --> 00:08:52,370 This is a soul shredder. 162 00:08:53,050 --> 00:08:54,770 It'll shred your soul for good. 163 00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:58,470 You fall in there, you will cease to exist. 164 00:08:59,030 --> 00:09:00,390 See ya, suckers! 165 00:09:01,950 --> 00:09:02,950 No! 166 00:09:04,870 --> 00:09:06,330 Let me die! 167 00:09:07,010 --> 00:09:09,950 Let's try it again. You gotta be kidding me! 168 00:09:10,990 --> 00:09:12,010 Gilead, take a look. 169 00:09:12,550 --> 00:09:13,990 Thought you might like to see this. 170 00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:37,140 the big ship anyway. 171 00:09:37,340 --> 00:09:39,620 Tell them to beat me up too. I got all my shit. 172 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,180 See you later, Gary. 173 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:42,480 It has been real. 174 00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:44,620 That's bullshit! 175 00:09:44,980 --> 00:09:49,500 Hey! Let go of me. You are not a good fit. I'm coming with you anyway. 176 00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:55,900 Also, I don't like you. I demand immunity by the name of the Galactic 177 00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:58,760 of Starfleet. Sounds like some made -up bullshit. 178 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,179 Your feet! 179 00:10:00,180 --> 00:10:01,780 You cut off your damn feet! 180 00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:04,300 Oh, don't worry. They will grow back. You promise? 181 00:10:16,820 --> 00:10:19,920 Don't you have, like, a spell that can clean all this stuff up? 182 00:10:20,180 --> 00:10:22,540 Yeah, I do, but I don't want to take jobs away from people. 183 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:24,480 Yeah. 184 00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:26,280 You said to him you promised. 185 00:10:27,380 --> 00:10:28,380 Promised. 186 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:30,820 What, uh, what did he promise? 187 00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:33,960 I mean, because it looked to me like you were trying to escape. 188 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:35,960 Certainly not. 189 00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:39,810 Why don't you drop trial and tell me what he promised? 190 00:10:40,810 --> 00:10:42,990 That finger's not going to heal me, is it? No. 191 00:10:43,330 --> 00:10:44,330 Guess what? 192 00:10:44,670 --> 00:10:49,050 I'm not doing this like I normally do. Yeah. I'm doing it the Gary way. 193 00:10:57,070 --> 00:10:58,070 Ew, 194 00:11:02,670 --> 00:11:03,890 here comes the airplane. 195 00:11:04,710 --> 00:11:07,190 Looking for the hangar. You want it less because I want it? 14261