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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,020 --> 00:00:08,100 Hi, I'm Benji, and welcome to hell. 2 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:10,440 Hey, it could be worse. 3 00:00:11,420 --> 00:00:14,500 I'm kidding. It could not be worse. 4 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:19,500 By now, you've met with one of our rusty whaling hooks, and you have questions 5 00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:24,480 like, what were my sins that landed me here? What sort of additional tortures 6 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:25,480 should I expect? 7 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:28,180 Maybe you're thinking, is there a way to escape? 8 00:00:29,190 --> 00:00:34,370 Or, would someone please return my intestines into my gaping stomach wound? 9 00:00:34,370 --> 00:00:36,250 the boring video a part of the torture? Quiet. 10 00:00:36,690 --> 00:00:40,810 We have a lot to cover. But luckily, we have a lot of time. 11 00:00:41,110 --> 00:00:44,790 So let's hay Macarena over to the answer. 12 00:00:46,150 --> 00:00:47,830 Hey, what are you doing? Huh? 13 00:00:48,710 --> 00:00:50,110 Ah. All right. 14 00:00:50,590 --> 00:00:51,810 Okay, everybody hang loose. 15 00:00:52,130 --> 00:00:53,850 I'll be back in 45 minutes. 16 00:00:55,540 --> 00:00:59,200 Well, looks like that was our only copy. We'll have to reshoot it. I don't know 17 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,380 why we have an orientation video. 18 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,720 Seems like it's better if they're disoriented. 19 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,460 Why don't we make a disoriental tape? 20 00:01:07,660 --> 00:01:09,080 This video is dying out there. 21 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,740 They come down to hell, they're terrified, they're in shock, and then we 22 00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,460 them? Let's do something fresh. 23 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:17,760 Let's do something new. 24 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,000 What do you have in mind? 25 00:01:26,710 --> 00:01:27,810 New orientation video. 26 00:01:28,170 --> 00:01:29,170 All right. 27 00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:30,190 Let's see it. 28 00:01:30,630 --> 00:01:35,310 Now, before I play this, I just want you to know that it's not fully finalized. 29 00:01:35,570 --> 00:01:39,370 I'm not sure if this TV is color calibrated or not. All right. Cool. Just 30 00:01:39,370 --> 00:01:44,130 it. Just so you know, also, before I play it, there's some digital effects 31 00:01:44,130 --> 00:01:45,048 waiting on. 32 00:01:45,050 --> 00:01:47,530 And so when they come up, what I'm going to do is I'll call them out. I'll 33 00:01:47,530 --> 00:01:48,770 describe them. Yeah, I get it. 34 00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:51,650 I wasn't sure whether to letterbox it or not. Play it up. 35 00:01:53,020 --> 00:01:53,658 Hey, babe. 36 00:01:53,660 --> 00:01:54,660 Here we go. 37 00:01:57,060 --> 00:01:58,080 Straight out of Haiti. 38 00:01:58,420 --> 00:02:00,100 Crazy mother f***er named Satan. 39 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:05,100 Hit your knees and start to blatant. When you meet me, you best greet me. 40 00:02:05,340 --> 00:02:07,480 Or I'll put my horse hoof up your cheap seat. 41 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:08,740 Hey, time off. 42 00:02:08,979 --> 00:02:10,820 There is not health benefits. 43 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:12,080 You get one. 44 00:02:12,340 --> 00:02:16,620 Everyone here gets to live forever. And I'm grating your brain like a block of 45 00:02:16,620 --> 00:02:18,100 cheddar. Yeah, boy. 46 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:19,640 Or Gouda. 47 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:26,760 I had nothing to do with this. You're in it. What? You're in it. Straight out of 48 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:27,780 Hades, dog! 49 00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:29,060 You see any ladies? 50 00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:33,400 William N. Beast, he's the only one squirking. So the masturbator spider is 51 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:34,400 jerking hard. 52 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,100 He's a hell of a job. 53 00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:40,860 This guy is the dopest motherfucker I've ever met in my life. 54 00:02:41,220 --> 00:02:42,640 I'm a team player. 55 00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:43,900 Come on! 56 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,820 That's where your face goes. Satan is waiting to explode with the lobe. 57 00:02:48,090 --> 00:02:51,470 No one can save you, not even Bruce Wayne. And if you don't believe me, 58 00:02:51,530 --> 00:02:52,770 don't you ask Bane. 59 00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:56,430 We got Bane. 60 00:02:57,750 --> 00:03:00,530 Who's this guy with the tube coming out of his face? 61 00:03:00,770 --> 00:03:04,750 That's Bane. That's Batman's bisexual nemesis. Yeah, and it may be a little 62 00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:08,090 difficult to understand, but what he's saying is, he'll be bringing the thunder 63 00:03:08,090 --> 00:03:12,170 down on Brenda, and then you have my permission to go. 64 00:03:14,990 --> 00:03:16,570 So what did everybody think of this? 65 00:03:16,850 --> 00:03:19,570 There's like three more minutes. Yeah, we get the idea. 66 00:03:23,950 --> 00:03:29,770 I don't understand at all what Batman, much less a 67 00:03:29,770 --> 00:03:34,070 peripheral villain of his, has to do with our organization. 68 00:03:34,390 --> 00:03:37,750 I can count at least seven or eight different licensing issues we're going 69 00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:40,330 have. Music, character usage. 70 00:03:41,010 --> 00:03:43,430 I also think it's weird. 71 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:49,400 that the song is straight out of Hades, and this is directed towards people who 72 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:50,780 are coming into Hades. 73 00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:53,820 I thought it was really dope. 74 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,660 Yeah. I thought it was great. 75 00:03:56,860 --> 00:03:59,180 I really did, Gary. Congratulations, Gary. 76 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:04,880 It just came out of me. I've never seen anything like this, where you take a 77 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:09,360 famous song, and then you spoof it, you know? You spoof Weird Al Yankovic. 78 00:04:09,690 --> 00:04:12,710 I don't know who that is, but I think I want all of our videos done just like 79 00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:14,470 that. Yeah, I completely agree. 80 00:04:14,770 --> 00:04:19,910 No, Benji, I want Gary in charge of all internal videos from now on. But I run 81 00:04:19,910 --> 00:04:22,070 the video department. Yeah, not anymore, Benji. 82 00:04:22,290 --> 00:04:23,970 You are going to rapes. 83 00:04:25,490 --> 00:04:26,469 Wait a minute. 84 00:04:26,470 --> 00:04:28,850 You like rapes. You're going to hot liquids. 85 00:04:29,550 --> 00:04:30,570 Congratulations, Gary. 86 00:04:40,429 --> 00:04:42,010 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, 87 00:04:42,010 --> 00:04:43,010 oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, 88 00:04:44,210 --> 00:04:53,010 oh. 89 00:05:10,090 --> 00:05:11,089 Good energy, everybody. 90 00:05:11,090 --> 00:05:14,310 All right, I'm going to need two like this and two like this when we come 91 00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:15,350 Tails later, if you would. 92 00:05:15,590 --> 00:05:16,890 Straight out of summoning snake. 93 00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:20,870 You got to do what it takes. Got to raise the stakes when you summoning 94 00:05:21,510 --> 00:05:24,770 What are you doing? Damn it, Mike. Quit doing the cutaways to the stakes. 95 00:05:24,970 --> 00:05:29,970 All right, I want you to stick to the close -up of me. I thought maybe we 96 00:05:29,970 --> 00:05:31,170 eventually get to the snake. 97 00:05:31,510 --> 00:05:35,030 Why don't you turn that telephone cord that I'm playing with, obviously like a 98 00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:37,330 snake, into some sort of snake? I was wondering why... 99 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:42,440 You couldn't just actually summon the snake in the video instead of having me 100 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:47,160 that with the phone. I don't have time to watch a video that I haven't made yet 101 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:51,160 to learn how to summon snakes, which I don't know how to do. 102 00:05:51,660 --> 00:05:52,980 Let's keep editing some video. 103 00:05:53,740 --> 00:05:56,500 Tell you what, here, this is straight out of making walls bleed. This is the 104 00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:57,500 hot realness. 105 00:05:57,580 --> 00:06:01,420 Straight out of making walls bleed. We're about to paint this joint crimson 106 00:06:01,420 --> 00:06:02,420 indeed. 107 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:06,660 Now, you're going to digitally add bleeding walls into that, right? 108 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:09,520 Yeah. 109 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,640 Every one of these is straight out of? 110 00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:14,500 That's what I was saying. 111 00:06:14,660 --> 00:06:15,660 What? 112 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:21,780 How do you mean? You could have done Satan's Got Rack instead of Baby's Got 113 00:06:21,780 --> 00:06:22,780 Back. 114 00:06:23,060 --> 00:06:24,220 That's pretty funny. 115 00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:25,499 That's good. 116 00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:26,500 But it's not. 117 00:06:26,860 --> 00:06:27,900 I'll tell you what's funny. 118 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:29,560 All right, Straight Outta videos. 119 00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:34,040 The Straight Outta brand is very simple. It is Straight Outta and then a bunch 120 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:38,080 of words about different subjects, right? And the only things that are the 121 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:43,400 are the word Straight Outta and the melody and the rhymes for each song and 122 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:47,200 beat. When did you have time to do all these? I have not made any one of these. 123 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,240 I just have the box. 124 00:06:48,340 --> 00:06:54,880 And the Straight Outta How to Repair the Network video goes on this whole 125 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,300 rigmarole about... 126 00:06:56,510 --> 00:07:00,010 R2 -D2 and C -T3P? 127 00:07:00,230 --> 00:07:03,230 C -3PO. I just didn't find any of that helpful. 128 00:07:04,850 --> 00:07:05,950 Your fly is down. 129 00:07:06,390 --> 00:07:08,210 Oh, excuse me. 130 00:07:10,410 --> 00:07:14,910 Straight out of understanding how to log into your email. You don't want to have 131 00:07:14,910 --> 00:07:18,630 an email fail. Are you going to log on to your email? 132 00:07:19,110 --> 00:07:23,190 Here's to logging into email. Okay, hang on. Cut, cut, cut, cut. 133 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:27,580 Did you write these raps? Yes, these are my rhymes. Yeah, of course they rhyme. 134 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,940 It's because you're saying the same GD word, Ted. 135 00:07:30,620 --> 00:07:33,680 You've got to log into your email. You're going to be forced to eat a whole 136 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:34,519 bunch of kale. 137 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:38,080 Or you're going to have to have sex with Gmail. You see what I'm saying? Are we 138 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,080 allowed to say Gmail? 139 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:40,019 No, Ted. 140 00:07:40,020 --> 00:07:40,919 You pig. 141 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,320 Do you not watch straight out of workplace activity training? 142 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:48,700 The force is not with you, my friend. Take the buns off. A rapper you are not. 143 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:50,420 Y 'all too white. 144 00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:57,950 Everybody in this dang room is too white but me. I'm the blackest man 145 00:07:57,950 --> 00:07:59,010 that's ever been. 146 00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:06,030 I'm as black as Oprah's pocketbook. Black as 85 % whole food dark chocolate. 147 00:08:06,470 --> 00:08:07,570 Let's do this again. 148 00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:11,770 Gary. See what I'm dealing with here? Shit. 149 00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:13,650 Yeah, showbiz, huh? Yeah. 150 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:17,820 Hey, listen, Gary, I hate to tell you this, but I badly need more of these 151 00:08:17,820 --> 00:08:21,660 videos. What's your thing, B? How many you need? You know I love to work. I 152 00:08:21,660 --> 00:08:28,060 a straight -out -of -video for every letter of the alphabet. All 26 of the 153 00:08:28,060 --> 00:08:30,220 letters. Straight -out -of -A, straight -out -of -B. 154 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,520 You get it. I want them all. Cool -mo B, absolutely. 155 00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:35,020 All right, get it up. Yeah, dizzy -push -izzy, absolutely. 156 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,520 What is the deadline on all that? Oh, tomorrow. I'm going to screen them in 157 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:39,520 auditorium for everyone. 158 00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:42,799 What if I ask, like, why the whole alphabet? 159 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:45,080 I mind. 160 00:08:54,020 --> 00:09:00,800 To the end of the name, Jeff. And that's my rap about the letter F. 161 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:02,760 Cut. 162 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:07,880 All right, we nailed it. Okay. All right, everybody. All right, action. 163 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,480 going to do action on the other set. Quiet on this different set. Action on 164 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,780 other set, though. All right, so action. Action of the set. 165 00:09:14,060 --> 00:09:16,140 Straight out of the letter C. 166 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:21,180 It sounds like the letter D. Who's rapping incoherently? I'm rapping. 167 00:09:21,420 --> 00:09:26,200 Why are you rapping? You call action. I call action on the other set, V .C. Oh, 168 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,940 I... All right, yes, you are wrong. I am right. 169 00:09:29,540 --> 00:09:32,480 Next, we're going to be doing the letter G as in goose. 170 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,820 So, action on the other, other set. 171 00:09:36,260 --> 00:09:40,620 It sounds like the letter C. I swear to Christ, V .C., I'm going to split you in 172 00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:41,620 half. 173 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:56,840 Fired. I'm fired. 174 00:09:57,660 --> 00:10:00,420 Sounds like someone could use a little help. 175 00:10:00,820 --> 00:10:01,820 I can't do it. 176 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:03,120 You can't. 177 00:10:03,940 --> 00:10:04,960 But we can. 178 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:09,440 Okay, everyone, we're going to take five, and when we come back, we're 179 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:14,900 this live. No cuts, three cameras, like a telethon. And we need to repair your 180 00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:18,080 instrument. I need some hot tea with lemon ASAP. 181 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:19,620 We ain't got no lemons down here. 182 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:23,480 There's a whole box of lemon over by paper cut. 183 00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:28,460 You guys are in for a show. 184 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:31,280 Where's everybody else? 185 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:32,879 Oh, no. 186 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:33,880 It's just you two. 187 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,260 Let's get them strapped in. 188 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,480 Nice. I like the packaging. 189 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:38,760 Oh, precious. 190 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:45,540 I've got some eye drops here in case you guys need a little moisture. 191 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:50,120 I can't reach the eye drops. And we'll see you guys in like 50 years. 192 00:11:01,340 --> 00:11:03,800 You know what is real surprising of all? 193 00:11:04,020 --> 00:11:05,680 What? I sound black. 194 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,400 I really sound black. 195 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:14,720 If I could close my eyes, I would be like, is that Harley Davidson Jr.? I 196 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:16,920 think of a black man's day right now or too much pain. 15448