All language subtitles for We Interrupt This Broadcast s01e03

It's not always apparent when someone is
over the limit, which is why the police

use the latest technology to detect
blood alcohol levels.

Yeah, these new units are terrific.
They're about 99 % accurate. So if

even close to the limit, then we're
going to know about it.

Excuse me, if you wouldn't mind
blowing...

I'm sorry, ma 'am. I'm actually going to
need to get you to flow into the tube

to get an accurate reading to tell
whether you're drunk or not, all right?

just wait.

I'm going to need you to have an
accurate... Oh.

Good evening.

We interrupt this board, sir.

Guys, there are two roses remaining, yet
there are three of you.

Sadly, that means that one of you will
be leaving tonight.

Thanks, Captain Obvious.

Look, first rose is a no -brainer.

I'm giving this one to Woodsy.

Mate, when you sack -whacked him the
other day, it was full of the funniest

thing I'd ever seen.

So here's a rose, mate. Good on you.

Sack -whack!

Sack whack.

Sack whack. Sack whack. Sack whack.

Scrap booking is a wonderful way to
enshrine precious memories from your

do it for all of my important occasions.

My wedding.

My honeymoon.

My husband's mysterious disappearance.

Wonderful memories, all.

Now, I thought as a special treat today,
I would make a scrapbook for my lovely

stagehand, Damien.

So during the break, come here, I nicked
his phone.

So now let's just choose some photos
from here.

Oh, my God.

Don't look at that phone. Don't look at
those.

That's Tina, mate. That's Tina from
Makeup. I know. That's my dressing room.

Please don't fire me. Fire you?

I'm going to promote you.

God, I love a saucy scrapbook.

Just have a look at my honeymoon. This
is where... Oh, far out. That's where I

got started. That's disgusting. I know.

This one? Incredible, right? Because I
used to be... Where is your hair?

I know.

Kim, when we had our solo mate date,
watching the NRL, it's pretty bloody

obvious you were Victorian.

You had no idea what a 40 -20 was.

I thought it was a pie.

It's not a pie, mate.

You messed up, mate, but not as bad as
Miko.

What do you mean?

You brought your missus to our date to
the TAB.

You can't do that, mate. It's a party
fair. You can't bring your misso

everywhere. She's still here now.

Um, babe, can we go?

Because, like, you don't need this in
your life.

No, it's really hard to make new friends
as a guy.

He's right. It is hard, mate. Because of
that, I'd be more than happy to be

here, mate.

Yeah, cool. I'll give you a call
sometime.

I've got a really good feeling about
this one.

Loyalty is actually really important to
me.

God.

You sound like my wife.

You're married.

Please, I get enough of that at home.

Yeah, I need to go. I wouldn't go back
to mine.

You should be quiet because of the baby.

It's all killer, all filler. You're
watching Australia's favourite reality

Lip Island.

Lip Island, where Madison with no vows
is headed to the pool to give Taj with

two Js a sexy massage.

Oh, my God!

Uh -oh! Looks like Taj has been a
cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.

And his side chick had left a trail of
evidence behind her.

Hey, what? What?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, I didn't do it. You didn't
do it? I did nothing, nothing.

I'm not dumb, OK?

You and you are dead.

I like you, because I do it.

You know?

See you tonight, babe.

100%, yeah. Yeah.

disagree. I wish to raise an issue.

We've achieved many victories on the
field, but our treasury is low. We must

find more ways to raise money.

However,

I cannot help but notice we have
allocated an hour of our meeting talking

marrying our sisters.

We have so many other things to discuss.
Fear from battles, dark magic, dragons

breathing fire.

You know what's hotter than fire?

My sister.

I do have a question for which I need
your counsel. Go on. I have two

Which one shall I marry?

Both.

Both. Both. Both.

Both. Both. Both. Both.

Both. Silence!

Shall we not speak of uncles?

Look, we came here to do one thing.
Yeah, we really want to push ourselves.

We want to do what we love. And, yeah,
we're not going home until we get a

chance to prove it.

Gavin and Amy, you were the last team to
arrive.

And I'm sorry to say that you have been
eliminated.

Get that!

What is this, Mad Monday?

Nice happy hour, and it's $5 daiquiris.

We came and we saw and we dacked.
Mission accomplished, yeah?

Dacking's what we live for.

Can't take it away from her. Yeah.

I'm really proud of you. Thank you.
Yeah.

Paolo, Rita, could you tell us a bit
more about your choices?

This dish means a great deal to me
personally because in my family, food is

important.

Tell us more.

My father eats food.

My mother eats food.

I've actually been eating food since I
was a baby.

Incredible.

Food is important in my family as well.

Oh, really? Yes. We would actually,
growing up, have multiple foods a day,

morning, midday, and then at night.

This dish is actually a celebration of
my family's belief that if you do not

food, you will die.

Sorry, everyone, I'm just getting really
emotional because in my family, we also

eat. It reminds me of my Grammy because
she could eat.

I feel so privileged to hear these
stories from each and every one of you

because my family, we never had that.

We just used to get organic material,
warm it up or cool it down and then put

into this hole.

That's food.

Really?

You've been eating food with your
family.

Food is important to me.

Food is important to my family.

Monster, it's time to take it off!

are pushed to their physical and
psychological limits by a very shouty

Englishman. This is SAS Australia.

You maggots!

Pathetic! Useless! Molly -coddled bunch
of crybaby weaklings!

We've been here for four days!

Four days!

And none of...

You livid, useless crack, do you know
what I want?

Do you?

Eh?

Eh?

You know that?

And it is, of course, a Bitcoin in quite
remarkable condition.

Do you know much about blockchain
technology?

No, not really. I'm just sort of
interested to know what it's worth.

Very funny, because, of course, Bitcoin
is famously volatile. But if this went

to auction today, I would say it could
set £100 ,000.

Oh, my God.

And with that £90 ,000, I said £80 ,000.
That's £200 ,000 Bitcoin.

Which is now worth £70 ,000.

I beg your pardon?

That's nothing to sniff at. If I had £40
,000... Sorry, now it's something worth

£40 ,000?

No, it's worth £40 ,000. Stop! Stop!

Stop it!

This is Lion's Share, where we throw
lots of money at ill -conceived ideas.

Carol thinks she has an invention that
could change the way we live.

But will it impress our lion?

Hello.

Carol Schneider is my name. Pretty
excited to show you. I've been

this five years.

It's cost me most of my savings and all
of my marriage.

So what it is, as you can see, I'm here
standing.

Got my legs extended.

Do this for long enough, you get pretty
tired. So what if there was another way?

Introducing the Carol's...

Hind Assist Inactivity Rig.

What it is, well, I'll show you. So, as
you can

see now, legs are bent, but the weight
is being held by the Carol's Hind Assist

Inactivity Rig.

Okay, Carol, can I just ask, how is the
Carol Hind Assist Inactivity Rig

different to an actual chair?

Because...

because don't worry about a chair. Stop
thinking about a chair, okay? Today we

are talking about the Carol's Hind
Assist inactivity rig.

But you do realise that that spells out
chair.

C -H -A -I -R.

No. No.

Anyway.

Just give me 15 minutes.

Just give me one more go. Give me one
more shot of 15.

All right, puppies, give Mummy a sit
-rep. Still nothing, Chief.

This is priority one, everyone. I want
him bound.

This guy's good.

He's a master at blending into the
background.

But he's going to slip up eventually,
and when he does, Mummy's going to be

there.

Wait, Chief.

Talk to me.

Ground team say they have him. They're
bringing him in now.

Ha! You can't hide forever.

Today's the day you meet your match,
Wally.

Not him, Chief.

not Wally. That's just a pirate in a
stripy shirt. You've done it again, you

absolute poodles.

Keep working, people. Come on.

I will find you and I will end you.

Do it. Say it again. I literally, I
don't know what is happening, eh?

It's so funny. So we just did a DNA test
from my new line of DNA

tests, KK's DNA.

Yeah, and it's actually hilarious
because we always thought we were

Yeah, and it turns out we're actually
Australian.

Which is amazing, and these tests are
super reliable.

Yeah. And today's extra special because
our new Australian cousin Craig is

coming over.

I love Craig. I love Craig. Craig with a
K.

Yeah. And cousin with a K.

Yeah. And coming over with a K.

Yeah. Are you saying Craig?

Yeah. Or Greg?

Craig. Yeah. We're saying Craig. Craig.

Craig. Craig. Craig.

Craig. Craig's so funny.

I'm literally dying.

It's Greg. It's with a G. Craig. With a
K. Like Greg. Craig.

I literally can't even breathe. I'm
obsessed with Craig.

Do you want something?

Do you want like a little salad? We have
150 pounds of salad.

I can't. I can't eat any more salad,
please.

That is so funny.

Craig!

As the cops will tell you, if you drink
and drive, you're a bloody idiot.

Mind you, it's not like the cops are all
geniuses.

Do you know why I pulled you over, ma
'am? I was going 57, I swear.

It's not speeding.

Those traffic lights back there, I... I
saw you apply make -up. No, I didn't. I

wasn't, I swear.

You sure about that? I don't put makeup
on. I don't wear makeup to work.

I'm going to have to call this one in.

And before I read the votes, does anyone
have an immunity idol that they'd like

to play?

No, never, babe. Yeah, last chance.

I would like to play my idol. I'm not
going home tonight, Jeff.

It's Jonathan.

My name is Jonathan. Yeah, whatever.

Oh, it's in here somewhere. I'll just
fish it out.

You just place it there and then...

out duck and out duck jonathan lapancia
uh i love to duck i live to duck and we

ducked this is like not a tribal council
it's a trouser council my work is done

yeah i'm going home but it was like
totally worth it

You have made it this far by thinking on
your feet and working as a team.

But this game is every player for
themselves.

I hope you're ready to play.

Monopoly!

Oh, sorry, nah, can I be the Scotty Dog?

What? At home I always be the Scotty
Dog, so I just want to be the Scotty Dog

for laughter. No, we assigned these
roles ahead of time so we wouldn't have

exact conversation.

Number 187 is the Scotty Dog. I
literally don't care, dude. He doesn't

I'll be Scotty Dog. Okay, fine. All
right, you can be Scotty Dog. Can I be

Scotty Dog too? There's only one Scotty
Dog.

What am I going to be then?

You can be that silver hat.

I can be a silver hat.

No, when you go around the board, you
will be passing... Are we doing free

parking rule?

Yeah, free parking. We get the money in
the middle.

Yeah, it makes it fun. It's like a
lotto. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, free parking means free parking. Not
get money for free for no reason at

all.

It's good, it's good, it's good. Okay,
fine. You can have free parking. Thank

you. Now, as always, if you lose, you
will be eliminated.

How do you lose Monopoly? Do you know
what I mean? Like, I always thought it

just kind of ended when everyone was,
like, fighting.

Or, like, I just get bored and just kind
of... I'm bored.

I'm bored right now.

Then you lose, I reckon.

Yeah. No offence, but... Yeah, you're
out. No offence. No, no, no. Think,

ladies, that you can get him, actually,
because he's out.

You can be Scotty Jack, though. Rest in
peace.

Hooray!

46 ,053.

The most thoughtful gifts make the
receiver feel like you know them.

So today, I'm making a personalised gift
for my assistant, Damien.

Damien, come.

Come.

Drop.

Ta -da.

What's that?

Fast issues.

Because you told me you and your
girlfriend were having a fight over her

partner's shoes.

No, you have your own pair.

Not partner's shoes.

Partner's shoes.

Your

Grace,

with the greatest of respect, the time
to act is now.

The walls of Castle Blackhaven have been
besieged by the false Prince Janos

Rhaegar. whilst every passing moment,
the grand size... Sorry, can I just stop

you there?

Which one are you?

Which guy?

There are a lot of guys, and I'm having
trouble keeping up.

I am Sir Bratton Ehrenford, son of White
Crow, keeper of the sacred fire. Brett

Ehrenford? Nope. Okay, so what's your
thing?

Could you take a sentence, please?

I wish for troops to defend my land.
Yes, because your father was killed by

brother when he was trying to take over
the throne.

No. Father, I believe you're thinking of
Sir Ericsford. What?

Then which one's this one?

Sir Erinsford.

Also,

while we're here, who are you?

Me? Yes, I wasn't going to say anything,
but I don't know who you are.

I'm your daughter.

That's why I called you father.

Really? You look very different to the
last time I saw you. And that is what's

really difficult to follow about this
whole show. Tell you what, could

do me a favor?

Let's go around the room and say your
name and whether you are a goody or a

baddy. Or we could just cut different
boobs.

Fine.

A wise choice, my king.

Well, I'm the king.

Oh, wow.

I can feel a deep connection already.

Me too. It's like we've got some sort of
deep synchronicity.

Jinx. Snap.

Jinx again.

This is getting weird.

I feel a profound emotional bond that
transcends time and space.

I love you.

I love you too.

Oh, my goodness.

Sorry, I'm just getting word from our...

experts that have made a huge mistake.
So we'll just scoot you out and bring in

a better match. This is Mercedes.

Who's this toss pot?

Sorry, but can you bring the other bride
in? I think we just had a better fit.

Not for the show, you're not.

Give us a smooch.

Give us one smooch. Give us one smooch.
Give us one smooch.

Welcome to Millionaire Hot Seat. Let's
meet tonight's contestants.

Katrina Henderson is a psychic who
already knows she's not going to win

Kenny Graham hates small talk and will
be communicating tonight via blinking.

Darren Dale wanted to try to get a
stadium wave going.

No dice, buddy.

We're also joined by Ash... Ban, who
thought she was on Masterchef.

And finally, Marcus Kennedy, who never
shows up on time.

It's all killer, all filler. You're
watching Australia's favourite reality

Lip Island.

There's some rules here on Lip Island.
The clothes are small, the mic packs are

visible, and above all else, the banter.

is wicked.

Wow,

that banter is mental.

Two chilled glasses of sparkling banter,
please, waiter.

Cheers to the Archbishops of Banterbury.

Here comes Corey with a cue.

Yuck, Corey.

Worst banter ever.

This is Murder on the Border.

If you don't tell us who you are working
with, there is a strong chance that you

will end up in prison. And believe you
me, you do not want to end up in a

Scandinavian prison.

Have you ever been inside, Lars?

No. Well, you know that it's not all
funny and games. In fact, the

of time for funny and games is just two
hours a day.

Two hours. Do you know what they do to
new inmates in a Scandinavian prison?

No. They will give you an induction to a
beginner's pottery class.

Beginner's pottery class?

I can see this is no good, Sir Volvo. He
is not going to cooperate. I can see he

would rather rot in a tastefully
appointed cell with limited views of the

No, please.

They will lock the door and throw away
the key. Well, actually, they're not

using locks anymore. It's more an honor
system. You come and go as you please.

Oh.

Can I go now?

We would prefer... If you stayed, but it
is your prerogative. But I can go.

Well, definitely, you can go, but we
would like you to stay. Yeah, I... I

I got to... Look after yourself.

Thank you.

We almost had him.

Right through our finger.

Oh, welcome back to Small Death Big Boy.

We'll get to that in a second, Boggo.
But firstly, the winner of Australia's

Next Big Boy has just been announced.
Last night, Chukka beat out Ruda for the

top spot.

Chuck is here to permanently join the
death and become one of the big boys.

on down.

Boggo's right, Chaka. There's too many
boys and there's not enough desk. You're

going to have to go, mate.

All good, boys. Had a good run.

Good on you, Chaka.

Good on you, mate. Hey, give it up.

Exit's over this side.

Oh, well.

That's right, Boggo.

We'll all miss him.

So why don't we take a look back on all
the fond memories we had of our time

with Chaka.

is lion's share.

After her last pitch, our judges have
decided to give Carol another chance.

Thank you for seeing me again.

So, I think I've cracked it this time.

What unites us all as humans?

We all need to drink.

We all need liquid.

But what do we use to hold that liquid?

Can't use our hands.

Flip down the sides, go through our
fingers.

So, What do we use? Okay, Carol, I'm
going to stop you there.

Is there a cup under that sheet? Like,
have you invented the cup?

Are you going to show us what's under
that sheet, Carol?

Not today, no.

Is that because there's a cup under
there?

Not necessarily.

Just, okay, one more go, one more go.

I've had the best time with all of yous,
and I wish I could be mates with every

single one of yous.

But, rules are rules.

Miko? Yeah?

I had a great time with you on the group
mate date at the golf course.

Same. Every time I had a beer, you were
always there with a bottle opener.

But, I did catch you cheating.

How do you mean?

You did not get two holes in one.

I definitely did. You should have seen
what I was having to really... Turn it

up. Woodsy?

I also had a great time with you at the
golf course. It was thick.

But you went too hard too early.

And you stole that golf buggy and you
smashed into Tim.

But every

group needs a loose unit.

Woodsy, will you accept this rose?

Shit, yeah.

Welcome to the bear pack, brother.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mika, there's a Commodore waiting for
you and it's time to piss right off.

Is it a VL or a Calais or...? Afraid
not. Stock standard, mate.

All right.

Checkers.

Eight years in a Colombian prison.

Eight years.

Almost every day.

Beaten.

Starved. No sunlight.

No one came.

No one cared.

But we escaped.

And now we're free.

We're free.

Wait a minute. Are you Hayden and Paul
from season three?

Yeah, that's right.

Oh my God.

Everyone thought you were dead.

Boy, oh boy, have you been eliminated.

And now,

vows.

Amanda, when I first saw you walk down
the aisle, I thought, that is a woman

can get me 50 ,000 followers.

When I first saw your eyes, your smile
and your hot rig, I

thought we can take on the world.

Smash it.

And start a social media campaign
marketing untested vitamins and

I promise to stand by your side until
one of them other brides shows me the

tiniest bit of attention.

I promise to be there for you, make you
laugh, and also throw wine at you.

Yes, sir. I promise to always
communicate my feelings, especially

back.

I promise to persevere through the tough
times or until Love Island call.

Do you, Chris, and you, Amanda, promise
to endure each other for the next four

months as long as you are
contractually... Obligated.

I do.

I think it would be more like three
months. I do.

By the power vested in me in this fake
TV show, I now pronounce you radio drive

time host and influencer.

And, Jason, what do you have for us
today?

Oh, I don't know. I think it's like a
yoga leader.

May I? Oh, yeah, no dramas. Thank you. I
just up, and it is indeed

a yoga lid. You can see here by these
distinct markings, yes? Yeah. Sound out,

yo -go.

But it is indeed the genuine article,
and your suspicions are correct. Oh,

Thank you, little marvelous. I can even
give you an approximate age of the pot

of yoga chocolate.

I believe it was, because of the uh
-huh, yes.

And that is here. Do you see these
numbers here? Oh, yeah, what's that

Yes, of course, in the business known as
a used by date, or occasionally here we

see a best before.

In French, of course, plus point.

Plus point, yes.

And we can see here in the detail, not
for individual sale.

It was originally, of course, part of a
pair.

Oh, absolutely perfect.

At a guess, Jason, what would you say
this was worth?

Oh, jeez.

Probably nothing. I mean, it's just a
yoga letter found on the ground.

And a beautiful piece, as it is.

I'm afraid you are correct. It is worth
absolutely nothing. It is absolutely

worthless. Being refused and what have
you.

But what a find and what a privilege to
own a piece of history.

Yeah. I like yoga.

So do I, Jason.

So do I.

I've been hunting down suspects for over
20 years.

Sometimes you catch them quick.
Sometimes it takes a little longer.

But the thing about me is, I always
catch my man.

Again, CCTV again. We're looking for
this guy.

Attractive Facebook, Instagram and
Spotify. That is a lot of Taylor Swift.

Yes, I am.

Coming for you, Barry, you little rat
dog. No matter where you are, no matter

what corner of the world you're hiding
in, you're mine, mate.

Right, we done? Gotta go find this dog.

Ready to roll?

Barry's close. I can almost feel him.

The

town

is consumed with the latest dispatch
from gossip columnist... Lady Bing Lee,

has declared Daphne Fridgerton must
hasten to choose a suitor before her

on the marriage market wanes.

Mother, you cannot be serious.

His warranty had slid a decade ago.

Always banging on about how much you
want children, Daphne. Sir Leek's lot

two already.

Yes, but... Hello, Fisher.

Hello, Paykel.

What charming children you have, Sir
Leek's lot.

What is that smell, Mother?

Just a gas leak, Daphne.

Perfectly natural. I would rather marry
a dishwasher. There is nothing redeeming

about him.

Well, not nothing.

From what I hear, he has plenty of meat
in his bottom drawer.

If you catch my truth.

Mother!

Well,

we've heard the clues. Now let's hear
the voice.

Yes! Performing for the first time?

What?

song that I've definitely heard of and I
know all of the words.

I literally want to take this car!

Let's hear it for Banana!

What a voice!

Thanks! Thanks, thanks, thanks!

Judges, what did you think?

I missed it.

Once again, our judges talked over the
entire performance so they have no idea

who it is.

We'll try again after the break with a
performance from Plastic Man!

Yeah!

We're

at

the airport.

engineers have worked tirelessly to make
sure every toasty is completely devoid

of taste.

Alright, let's go through the story
again. You disembark. At arrival, you

your bag unattended. Then suddenly, bam,
you're distracted by a beautiful woman,

at which point your bag is switched out
for an identical one by a person or

persons unknown.

Look back. Woman's gone. Where is she?
Vanished into thin air.

You then proceed to border security
blissfully unaware of the contents of

bag. How am I doing so far?

Yeah, good.

Do you really think that's believable?

Yes, I do.

Oh, thank you. Thank you so much,
because the publisher said it was just,

derivative and boring. I would buy it.
Really? Oh, thank you. Off you go.

I think I was self -published. She had a
lot of cocaine in that bag.

His mother on the border.

Sir, there better be a good reason for
getting me up at this hour. Sorry,

Inspector. It is three in the morning,
but a body has been found.

Blunt trauma to the head.

Any witnesses?

No. Everybody's in bed. It's the middle
of the night.

Okay. Sir Volvo, take this down.

I want Anderson, Larson and Carlson to
talk to their whale contact.

Erickson, Nielsen, Olsen and Svensson
talk to family friends of the victim.

Gustafsson, Peterson and Magnusson, they
can go to the coroner. Olafsson,

Axelson and Hendrickson, they can handle
the press. And Samuelson, Eliasson,

Hermanson, Abramson and Johansson, they
can stand by. Lundqvist won't be needed.

Did you get all of that? No, none of it.
My pen is out of ink.

I am very angry.

This is Lion's Share.

Oh, please don't run.

Thank you, Lions, for seeing me again.
Appreciate it. And you're sure this is a

new invention, Carol? Yes, absolutely,
100%. So, okay.

There's nothing on the card, Carol.

No, no, forget about the card.

Look at this brand new invention.

Holding the card, leaving my hands free
to do whatever they need.

So, anything you... It's a hard no from
me. Okay.

I actually did invent a cold fusion
engine

that would put an end to coal. And I
should have started with that. And I

got in my head and doubted myself.

started just going off script.

Carol, Carol, we've given you three
chances, okay?

It's a no from us.

This would actually put an end to cold.

You know.

Thanks anyway.

See you later.

Our instant restaurant is authentic,
cooked Italian food.

And the judges always say to cook with
love.

So, plenty of love is what they're going
to get.

Our style.

Fuck off, Blair. What have you done?

We dacked you, mate.

We knew it would be polarising with the
judges, but... We love dacking.

Well, I think it's full, risky.

And quite sumptuous.

I know.

After being eliminated, would I
recommend going on MKR and dacking Manu?

Probably not. But would I do it again?

100%. 100%. Yeah.