All language subtitles for The_Great_North_S05E14

♪ Look up there ♪

♪ What do you see? ♪

♪ Nature and stuff ♪

-♪ Like a rock ♪
-♪ And a tree ♪

♪ Oh, the Great North ♪

♪ Way up here
you can breathe the air ♪

♪ Catch some fish ♪

♪ Or gaze at a bear ♪

♪ Wow ♪

♪ Oh, the Great North ♪

♪ Here we live, oh, oh ♪

♪ Here we'll stay, oh, whoo ♪

♪ From longest night
to longest day ♪

♪ In the Great North ♪

[cheering]

[♪ ominous music playing]

[keyboard clacking]

Hook, line, and... enter.

[splashing]

[dings]

-Hey, Beef, working hard or--
-Not now, Londra.

Haven't hit
my fishing quota yet.

[Fish Boss on intercom] Beef,
may I see you in my office?

You, uh, wanted to see me?

Yes, I did.

So, Beef, what gives?

When you first started working here
on the sea,

you were our most
enthusiastic employee.

[chuckles] Why, we'd even frequently
find you kissing the fish.

But ever since
we increased your quota,

well... you haven't kissed
a single halibut.

Well, the increased
fish-catching quota

has taken
over my fish-kissing time

but I still love my job.

Glad to hear it.

Here's a contract
to work here forever until you die.

-[door rattles]
-Oh, no. I...

Where do you think
you're going?

You can't quit,
you work here.

-Oh, man!
-[alarm blaring]

[screaming]

[screams, panting]

-[♪ melancholy music playing]
-♪ Life on a boat ♪

[sighs]

-[grunts]
-♪ Catching the fish ♪

-♪ Bringing the fish ♪
-[grunts]

[reporter] In other news,
police are baffled by a robbery...

-[typing]
-...at the Whippleton Aquarium,

Fishletons, where several
rare tropical fish,

including two electric eels,
were taken.

You ready to head out, Dad?

Oh, you guys go ahead.

I've just got
a little more work

to do here
balancing the books.

[sighs]

Everything okay, Pop?

Yep, yep, just, you know...

the new boat payment
is higher than the old one by... infinity.

And everyone's busy lately,
so I've had a little less help and--

Girl, you're stressed.

Maybe a little, but like
Finding Dory always says,

"Just keep fishing."

-Swimming.
-That too.

You guys go have fun.

I'll be along in a while.

All right. Don't work too hard, Beef.

[typing]

[♪ upbeat rock music
playing in distance]

[♪ music amplifies]

[cheering and howling]

[stunt fishers cheering
indistinctly]

[man laughing]

Captain Corelli's Mandolin.

-[Edna] You can say that again.
-Ah.

Oh, uh, hello, Chief Edna.

[chuckles] Who are they?

[Edna] Those gals...
Limes and Lemmons.

They're stunt fishers,

and this is their road show.

Or... I guess
you could say ocean show.

So, they stunt fish?

Yeah. Like fishing,
but to the extreme.

Each stunt fisher
has a gimmick.

One guy catches fish
with his big bare hands,

another fishes
while parasailing.

They've got
a fishing magician.

But Limes and Lemmons
are the main attraction.

Their specialty
is fishing in tubes

and showing off boobs.

This all seems
very ridiculous.

And wild and free,

and nature-based,
but also deeply sexual.

[chuckles] Yuck.

Word is these guys stir things up
when they come to town.

Stunt fishing tends
to make people rowdy.

Drunkenness, swears, honking,
litter-bugging,

Bluetooth speakers
blasting tunes everywhere.

-Dear Lord.
-Mmm-hmm.

The show's
in a couple of days,

so I've got my sister, Chief Elba,
coming down from Orca Bay to help me.

Yeah, good call.

I would've
asked my cop buddy from Whippleton Police,

but he is waist-deep
in that Aquarium robbery.

Metaphorically speaking.
Their water levels are fine.

[Beef softly] Hmm. Encore.

-[Edna] What?
-[in normal voice] Uh... nothing.

[chuckles nervously]
Uh, good night, Edna. Sweet dreams.

[snoring]

[Limes] Hey, Tobin.

Limes and Lemmons?

It's time to wake up.

[strumming]

Uh... [breathing heavily]

Those wild women call to me.

I know what I must do.

[♪ soft rock music playing]

Hey, what's going on there?

You lost, Long-Sleeves?

You always wear a coat
to the beach, cop?

Uh, I'm not a cop. And yes.

Pat him down,
Hands-Only Harland.

-Oh, with pleasure.
-[cracking]

Take it easy, HOH.

How can we
help you, Beach-Coat?

You looking for something?

Boy, am I.
I'm a commercial boat captain

who's lost
his love of fishing.

And I believe
you can help me find it... to the Xtreme.

[reporter] Police have
no leads on the Whippleton Aquarium heist,

-where over $100,000--
-Shut that radio off.

Nothing bums my buzz worse than local
news updates about aquarium robberies.

So, you're
a commercial fisherman?

You captain one of those
big boats around the corner?

Bulk fishing.
As a business. [chuckles]

What a trip.

And you've fallen out of love
with Lady Ocean?

I've fished my whole life,
but suddenly,

pulling a halibut
from the briny deep makes me feel nothing.

Sounds like you've never
fished a day in your life.

But I just said
I fished my whole life.

It's not fishing
if you catch a fish just to sell it.

Like a widget, or a stock,
or a bar of soap,

or a pine cone,

-or a--
-Pine cone?

Oh, sorry, I don't know
all the business lingo.

Fishing should be a wild adventure,
not a financial transaction.

You're caught
in you own net there, Stuck-in-net-Man.

And you need us
to cut you out, Crate-Sitter?

You keep changing my nickname.

'Cause everything changes.

Just ask the ocean.
No two waves are alike, Name-Questioner.

You know what I'm thinking.

I'm thinking to help you
see the light,

we ought to take you out
fishing with us today.

Oh, yes. Yes, I think
that's exactly what I need.

Somebody cut off
this man's sleeves.

Let's throw some Zimas on ice
and pull anchor.

[Ham] "I've lost my love
of catching fish,

please fish without me
until I find it again."

Aw, your dad's
off getting his groove back.

Well, while Pop regains
his passion for the deep,

I can sub in as Captain.
I've done it before.

You did, and the boat
almost sank while docked.

-I'll be the Captain.
-You're ten, Moon.

This is serious.
I'll do it. I'm 16.

Dad, who do you think
should be captain?

Oh, right.

[chuckles] Dad's not here.
Woo! Where's my brain?

Should it be you,
Aunt Dirt?

You're oldest
and scariest.

I appreciate the compliments,

but I don't like
people depending on me.

I am willing, however, to observe
your work and select the new captain.

In the bunker, I read
Leland on Leadership

by Leland MacCarmichael
many times.

It's all about how to lead,

and how to sleep with your secretary
without your wife knowing,

and your wife without
your secretary knowing.

All right, let's get ready
to be judged by our elderly Aunt.

Leland's first rule
of leadership

is to dress
for the job you want.

So, I wanna you all
back here in 30, looking like captains.

Well, this is exciting,

but I think she's totally
gonna pick Dad.

Oh. [chuckles nervously]

Right, right, right.

[♪ upbeat rock music playing]

You ready to fish our way?

We do something
called Pelican-ing. You ever heard of it?

Probably not. He's too busy
listening to the stock market, saying,

"Helen, push my two o'clock
and bring me a cappuccino."

If you really wanna fish,
you gotta fish like they do in nature.

Show him, Limes.

[all squawking]

[♪ music continues]

[squawking]

Ross Dress for Less!

Whoo! Your turn,
Guy-Who's-New.

Go fish.

That costume cauldron
is no joke.

You guys have so many
great pieces in there.

What's
with the paintball gun, Dirt?

Leland kept a BB gun
with him at all times

to shoot his employees
if they stepped out of line.

So, I'll be doing the same.

All right, captain
candidate roll call.

What the hell am I
even looking at here?

Oh, I'm Captain Sully Sullenberger,
the hero of the Hudson.

And I'm
Captain Jean-Luc Picard, hero of space.

Cap'n Crunch,
hero of crunching.

And I'm Dad, hero to us all.

Ham's not dressed
as any kind of captain.

Paint his ass.

No. I can explain.

I thought you said
to come dressed in a caftan.

Why would she say "caftan"?

All right, fine.

I just wanted to show it off.

I've been swanning
around the house in this for weeks

and no one's
complimented me on it.

Give me a twirl, Ham.

-Twirl, twirl, twirl, twirl.
-Nice.

All right, Leland would
put his management candidates

through a series
of mental and physical trials

in the dungeons
below his mansion.

But I don't have time
to build those.

We're just gonna do
your dad's pre-work checklist.

[stunt fishers squawking]

[squawking continues]

[inhales, exhales]
Come on, Beef. You can do this.

[squawks]

-[screaming]
-[splashes]

-[stunt fishers cheering]
-What a rush!

Yeah!
You can't buy that feeling

at the stock market store,
eh, compadre?

Nice first dive,
First-Time-Diver.

Don't worry
you didn't catch a fish.

Nobody ever gets one
on their virgin dive.

It's not about what's
in your mouth,

it's about what's
in your heart.

Important part is,
you made the leap.

Welcome to the tribe,
muchacho.

All right, you gotta complete
your dad's checklist before we can fish.

And if you can't,
I'll hit you with the paint.

[♪ quirky rock song playing]

Whoa. [chuckles]

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Whoa!

[yelps]

[giggles softly]

[♪ song fades]

All right, well,
it took three full days

for you to complete
what your dad does every single morning,

but I guess we can
finally head to the boat and start work.

Don't wanna be a buzzkill,
but it is now 10:00...

p.m. At night.

Copy that.

Off to bed.
We'll head out in the morning.

[stunt fishers cheering
and howling]

[reporter on radio] And still no updates
on the exotic fish robbery

at the Whippleton Aquarium,
Fishletons.

Not much news, TBH.

Looks like we caught
the right minnow, eh, hermana?

Now we just need
to reel him in.

[grunts and cackles]

Did you just waste
a Zima, Hands-Only?

They're discontinued.

Wha... wha...
I didn't mean to--

If you're gonna throw
a Zima in the fire,

maybe we oughta
toss you in, too, huh?

Now wait. Come on.

You don't mean that.

[both laughing]

[giggles nervously]

Hey, Braid-Beard.

Working hard
or hardly working?

You know, for the first time
in my adult life, I can honestly respond,

I'm hardly working.

And... it's pretty fun.

Hell right, it is, Fun-Haver.

It doesn't worry you to have your fire
right here on a wooden deck?

Sometimes, you just gotta
let the sparks fly where they fly.

Oh, I see.

-[Beef moaning]
-[Lemmons] Hold up, there.

Also me. I'm here, too.

You ever had
a triple-kiss before?

Nope. Only doubles.

[all kissing and moaning]

Little Caesars Pizza Pizza.

[kissing and moaning]

Say, Kiss-Mouth,

we got a rendezvous tomorrow
with one of our independent sponsors

so he can write us
a check for the show.

Just enough scratch to
keep us livin' the good life.

Our benefactor's
floatin' in from down Moscow way.

Could be some
rough chop out there and we need a driver.

Don't think any of these jokers
can handle it, but you might could.

Fair warning, though,

sometimes we
take off our clothes

when we get a mile
away from shore.

I can take you.

Mmm. Caw-caw, compadre.

Whoa. Ho-ho-ho.

Now, how do I
get back up there?

-[creaking]
-What in the...

A peppermint angelfish?
A golden basslet?

[gasps] Oh, my God.
The exotic fish heist

at the Whippleton Aquarium,
Fishletons.

There's no way
they could be so corrupt.

They're so wild and free.

Uh-oh.

These hotties
have been naughty.

Hey, where you going,
Fast-Walker?

Oh, I... I just, uh...
I have to,

uh, get a good night's rest
in preparation for tomorrow.

Thank you so much
for a lovely crime--

Time! Ha-ha, lovely time.

Ugh. Every time we talk to Aunt Sylvia
through the Ouija board,

-she insults my body.
-Don't listen.

-You're beautiful.
-[door rattles]

[panting]

Edna, Elba,

I'm here to turn myself in.

I've triple-kissed danger,

and I hereby
waive my right to a trial.

Okay. So, you're saying
you definitely saw

-two electric eels?
-Indeed.

And the peppermint angelfish,
the golden basslet,

and the butterfly fish.

Whew! That's what got taken
from the Whippleton Aquarium.

Those rare fish are worth
about 100 grand.

So, how long do you think
I'll be locked up for?

You didn't steal the fish.
You haven't done anything wrong.

But I was cavorting
with the people who did.

And triple-kissing.

We are very aware
of the triple-kissing, Beef.

It has been mentioned
quite a few times.

Do you know what they were planning
to do with the fish?

They wanted me
to take 'em out to sea tomorrow

to meet some guy from Russia.

The stunts are a front.

They're just dirty
fish smugglers.

But they don't believe
in selling fish.

Sis, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

That we send Beef back in,
wearing a wire, and bust the buyer, too?

-Mom is gonna be so excited!
-[screams]

Let's make sure
to take pictures.

[gasps] I've never gotten
to put a wire on anyone before.

What do you say, Beef?
You in?

Ooh. I think we get
to shave his chest.

Shave away, if it'll help
with my plea deal.

On three,
everybody say "sting."

One, two, three.

[all] Sting!

This is so fun.

Seriously, Beef,
you will be in a lot of danger.

Yes, you will.

We'll be a quarter-mile behind you,
watching your boat on radar.

This mic is the only way
to talk to us.

Make sure
that the wire doesn't get wet.

As soon as the sale goes down,
we'll come swooping in

and arrest the gals
and their so-called sponsor.

-And me.
-Of course.

You know, I gotta say,

I'm surprised you got mixed up
with these characters.

Oh. Well, I had lost my love of fishing
and the sea, so I was desperate.

And those women seemed
to have it all figured out

about fishing,
and about how many people could do a kiss.

Oh, my God.

I get it. You lost the spark.
Got burnt out. Happened to me.

Fell in with a pretty
wild group.

Bunch of other disappointed adults
I met down at the coffee shop.

We were ding-dong ditching
all over town.

Ugh. Mom was so embarrassed.

Did you ever get
your spark back, Chief Elba?

I did. But I'm not
gonna tell you how.

You gotta find that moment
on your own, Beef.

It was when her department
got new hats.

I said I wasn't
gonna tell him!

All right, so we finally
made it to sea.

Today, I will choose
the new captain

using Leland MacCarmichael's
final test.

Killing a colleague.

Wait, what?

As Captain, you need to be willing
to make anyone walk the plank at any time.

Okay, wait. I just googled
Leland MacCarmichael,

and he went to prison.

Correct. Where he killed
the warden

and became the prison's leader
for 17 days.

Now, who wants to go first?

Aunt Dirt, we are not having
anybody walk the plank today.

Okay, fine.
Then crazier idea.

You goofballs actually try
to help your dad out

by spending
the day fishing.

Wait, was this all just a ruse
to get us to work on the boat more?

Correct, Captain Chew.

-Crunch.
-Sure.

And, yeah, dum-dums,
your dad needs help.

And he's a good dad.

I would know.
My dad was absolute ass.

So, as
Leland MacCarmichael says,

"Get busy getting to work,
or get busy getting shot."

[♪ tense music playing]

[breath trembling]
Play it cool, Tobin.

Not too far now, Wheel-Holder.

We'll be in and out,
easy-peasy.

Next thing you know,
we'll be enjoying

a special sunset
in the Florida Keys.

Mmm. Love Florida Keys.

Hey, spinach dip's on me.

Now, when we get
to the meetup,

you can just
stay here on the boat

while we get the check,
okay, Steering-Boy?

[crackles]

What was that?

-Oh, I got a hunch.
-[grunts]

[Beef] That's a...
pacemaker...

on the outside of my body.

It was cheaper that way.
[chuckles nervously]

Liar, liar, say goodbye-er.

[crackles]

[Lemmons]
...say goodbye-er.

Uh-oh, he's blown.

Dang it. I was so excited
about using that wire.

Was worth a try,
though, huh, sis?

For sure. If you don't try something,

how will you see if it works?

-It worked for a minute.
-It really did.

-You know who'd love this?
-Who?

-Mom. [laughs]
-[chuckles] Mom.

-I'll call her.
-[cell phone beeps]

-[line ringing]
-Shoot. Should we get Beef?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

-[engine whirring]
-[siren blaring]

Oh, nips, it's the fuzz.
We gotta dump the evidence.

Do not dump
those beautiful fish in the Alaskan seas.

They can't survive here.

Dad?

Ham, for the last time,
he is not here. Oh, wait.

[Moon] That is Dad.

[police boat siren wailing]

Ha-ha! Too late, sea pigs.

No evidence, no cuffs.

Hang on, I'm coming.

Damn it,
we taught him too well.

[both squawking]

Hook, line...

and enter!

[♪ intense music playing]

What is your dad doing?

[grunting]

-My God. He's fishing.
-[Beef muffled groans]

Toss the net!

We've gotta save
these warm water fish.

You caught a fish
in your mouth, Beef.

That was amazing.

What can I say,
I love to fish.

Oh, my God, I love to fish.

I love to fish again!

Oh, damn it, sis.
They're getting away.

Whoo!

Oh, I'll start our engines.

Why did we turn the engines off?

Remember? The fumes
were giving you a headache.

Oh, right.

Do you think
we're bad at being cops?

No way.

[siren blaring]

So, Dad, did you find
your love of fishing again?

[laughs] Boy, did I.

You see, a fish is more
than just something you sell,

it's a wild,
beautiful creature.

I had so much separation
from the fish for so long,

I started to think
of them as widgets.

When I caught that fish
with my mouth,

it reconnected me with nature.

Fish are alive, and so am I.

Wow, Dad.

Seems like you really did
get your groove back.

And then some.

Plus, I kissed
two women at once.

It's called a triple-kiss.
And then--

Okay, we definitely don't need to hea
about that. Thank you.

I'm glad you're back. I tried
to choose a replacement for you,

but these jokers
could barely make breakfast.

All of us combined together doesn't even
come close to what you do for us.

So, we're gonna pitch in a bit more
around here, starting now.

For instance, I can twirl.

Woo.

Beautiful, son.
That helps a lot.

[Edna on radio] Edna to Beef.
Come in.

Go for Beef.

[Edna sighs] Looks like
Limes and Lemmons got away.

Did they happen to say
where they were headed next?

Actually, they did
mention something about the Florida Keys.

[Edna] Well,
I'll have to double-check,

but I'm pretty sure
that's out of our jurisdiction.

-[engine whirring]
-[♪ soft dreamy music playing]

[doorbell dings]

Beef. Long time no see.

It's been four hours.

You here to bust us?

No, I'm here to thank you.

You may have just been manipulating me
to be your accomplice,

but you taught me something.

-How to fish?
-How to live.

That's deep, amigo.

Plus, the triple-kiss
was cool as hell.

[chuckles] Everyone needs
a cheap thrill once in a while.

Maybe fish most of all.

Gotta feel bad for that guy.

Trapped in there
its whole life.

Oh, I don't know.

In a joint like this,

a little kid might feed him
mac and cheese.

Or a grown woman might dump an entire
cocktail in his tank. [chuckles]

-Who can say?
-Who can say?

-No one.
-No one can say it.

-No one can say. It's hard to say.
-It's hard.

You know, you can leave it
all behind, Jeans-Wearer.

Join us on the road?

I don't think I'm cut out
to be quite that free.

Plus, I have a family.

And debts and...

Oh, they're gone.

-Whoo-hoo!
-Burn rubber!

Freedom!

Hey, Beef,
I wanted to tell ya,

there's a new
Shrimp LaCroix flavor... Oh.

[♪ calm music playing]

[exhales]

[Leland] Now available, my book,

Leland on Leadership!

Learn how to lead
with rules like Rule 77.

Start your day spending 20 minutes
staring at your grave.

Rule 15.
Never look at a woman...

or an animal.
Screw you, jingles.

Rule four. Eggs.

Don't sit on roller chairs.
Too tempting to spin.

No time to spin!

Rule 12. Never ever
use the bathroom.

It's giving away your power.

Remember, cats are girls,
dogs are boys.

We don't know
what turtles are

'cause they never
take off their clothes.

Leland on Leadership.
Available at Woolworths now.