All language subtitles for The Misadventures of Romesh s04e03 Madagascar.eng

I've been travelling through East
Africa, visiting countries

with a bad reputation, to see if we
should give them another go.

So far, I've seen the delights of
Uganda...

..and Rwanda. Oh, my God.

Now, after an exploding volcano and a
civil war wrecked my original

plans, I've moved on to Madagascar.

Would I find an island full of talking
lions and dancing lemurs?

Find out on this thrilling episode of

The Misadventures Of Romesh
Ranganathan.

In a language they couldn't even begin
to understand,

I'd bid farewell to the gorillas of
Rwanda, boarding

a plane to Madagascar -

a former French colony that
constitutes the fourth-largest

island on Earth.

We are in Madagascar.

I'm very, very excited.

I've watched the film. I thought the
first two were great.

I thought the third one was slightly
lacking,

if I'm being honest with you.

A group of animals leave New York Zoo
and they

end up in Madagascar.

And Madagascar literally symbolises
the middle of nowhere.

I wasn't expecting this. Would have
been a very different film

if you saw the group of them wandering
through this town.

Madagascar one, two and three.

Um...

An island.

And Liberator sardines.

I'm just looking forward to finding
out what this place is about.

My guide for the week would be Bic, a
diving instructor from the south

of the island.

Bic.

- Hey, mate.
- How you doing, brother? - Nice to meet you, finally.

How are you?
- Nice to meet you, too.

I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.
- Yeah. Welcome to Madagascar.

- I can't believe I'm here. I know
nothing about Madagascar.

That's the reason I've come...
- Yeah. OK.

- ..is to find out all about it.

- Our life here is, we say "mora,
mora".

- Mora, mora.
- Mora, mora.

It mean everything is like slowly,
slowly.

OK?
- OK. This is... Now you're talking my language.

OK.
- Are you hungry? - Yeah. Always hungry.

- OK, shall we get a taxi?

Let's get this one. We go to
Analakely?

OK.
- Hello.

- Very cosy.

Our taxis are a bit, you know, small.

So, you near... If he's a tall person.

- So, Bic, is it common for a taxi
driver to have to hot-wire

their own car?

- Not really. Depends on how old the
car are.

- Ah.
- That's right.

- MUSIC: Laisse Passer by Jerry
Marcoss

Bic told me we would be spending time
seeing the cultural and natural

delights the country has to offer.

Venturing up and down the west coast
of the island, experiencing

Madagascar's unique vistas, flora and
fauna.

But we would start with a lunchtime
trip to the biggest market

on the island, located in the chaotic
capital,

Antana-nana-nana-nana-nana-viro.

- Yeah, so we're going to get some
fuel.

- They don't fill it straight into the
car?

- Well, the taxi are filling on the
jerrycan.

- So taxi drivers are driving around
with a can full of fuel

at all times?
- All the time.

So as soon as they have a client, they
get the money, buy the fuel,

and then off they go.

See, now, it's like mostly full...

- We've got two full cans of fuel in
the car.

- It's got to be spare one.

- BIC LAUGHS

And he's filling it here?
- Yeah.

- So he just puts a straw in the can
and then that's it. - That's it.

Yeah.
- I can't believe it. - It's simple.

- I hope our driver's a nonsmoker.

BIC LAUGHS

Bic told me that the capital, known
locally by the much more manageable

Tana, is home to over three million
inhabitants - a unique

melting pot of French-colonial, Indian
and African influences.

He took me along to the local market
to sample

the delicious local cuisine.

- OK. This is the famous soup.

It's a really good soup.
- OK. - But unfortunately, you are vegan,

- So, is this a delicacy, then?

- What do you mean?
- As in, like, it's a speciality dish?

- Yes. This one is very special.

- This is amazing. Everybody just
stops for a bowl.

- Yeah.
- So what is this soup? What is that meat?

- Basically this soup, it's made of,
like, you know,

the zebu's penis, you know, the dick.

And it's very famous.

And only here you can, uh...

..you can find that.
- It's dick soup?

- Yeah, the dick of the zebu.

- What's a zebu?
- Zebu is, uh, it's a cow.

Like a type of cow.
- OK.

This is dick soup?
- It is.

So they chop like...like that.

- That's a slice of penis?
- It is.

- How big is... How big is a zebu's
dick?

- It's about, like, 1.5m long.

You know, it's a big animal, you know,
it's like 500kg of animal.

- So, that's slightly smaller than an
average dude.

Yeah, I get it.
- Yeah.

- What's the reason for eating dick?

- Well, basically, the zebu dicks just
give you strength.

Yeah.

It's really good.
- Is it only zebu dick in this soup?

- And they mix it up with some
vegetable.

- This is dick and two veg.
- Yes.

- And how does the dick taste?

- It tastes like a very...soft meat.

You know?
- This is a weird question, but does it taste dicky?

Are you aware of the dick?

- I think I aware of the dick, yeah.

- So, how often do you have this?

- Um...
- Cos I'm going to be honest with you. - Mm-hm.

- Part of me thinks that you've tried
this just to try it, but it's not

a regular thing for you. Or do you
have this all the time?

No. I didn't think so.

- Not for...
- But nice? - Yeah.

- THEY LAUGH

I think...
- It's really nice. - I think you're not...

You're not... You're not used to
eating dick either, are you?

THEY LAUGH

- OK. Are we good?

- Very good!

He can't have any more! Don't make him
have any more!

THEY LAUGH

With Bic suitably stuffed, we eased
back into the taxi for a drive

up to the Rova,

the old palace once home to the
island's notorious mad queen.

Look at this view.
- Yeah.

It's really high up.

That's the lake.

So, this is the wall for the, uh, for
the mad queen palace.

- Queen Ranavalona I ruled the kingdom
of Madagascar

from this palace from 1828 to 1861, a
time during which she earned

a reputation for unsurpassed cruelty.

Having succeeded her husband Radama,
she marked her coronation by bathing

in a vat of bull's blood,

and quickly set about trying to
eliminate

all foreign influence on the island.

Her 33-year reign saw her slaughter
Christians in their thousands,

and brutally repel European colonial
advances, with enemies infamously

taken to this spot, high above the
city, and thrown

from the cliff to their death.

- She's... She's very tough.

- So she was trying to get rid of all
of the outside

influences, colonialism, etc.
- Exactly.

- And if you didn't agree, then you go
over the top here.

- Yeah. Over the top here.

Or burnt with the hot oil or hot
water.

She killed over, like, 2.5 million
people.

The most murderous woman in history.

Anyone, like, not following her,

she just cut the head and killed it.

- Quite full-on.

You didn't bring me up here for any
other reason.

You're not going to throw me off?
- Of course not.

- BIC LAUGHS

- That's her, but not...
- Not you. - Not me. Yeah.

You see how beautiful...
- It's amazing. - ..the place is?

- MUSIC: Malaso - Voleurs de Zebus by
Erick Manana

36 years after Ranavalona's death, the
French finally established

a colony here, and ruled until an
independent republic

was established in the late '50s.

A legacy that can still be felt today
throughout the country.

My first thoughts of Tana are that
it's sort of got that kind of,

um, chaotic kind of energy that you
sort of both expect

and slightly enjoy, I guess.

It's like every crossing of the road
is a brush with death.

You're much closer to other people
than you feel comfortable with.

Stuff like that. I like it. It's good.

The, um, the taxi...

To be in such a tiny car with an open
can of petrol

in it, it's incredible.

I can't believe it got signed off

for us to do. What you do is you get
the can,

there's a hole in the top. You pop it
in like a straw, and the car,

like, drinks from it, like it's a
milkshake.

I don't understand how... how it's
safe.

But you know what? It was an
experience.

And I am high as a kite.

Bic's plan was for us to travel
through the island's western region,

venturing towards the coast to catch
up with the Vezo fishermen tribe.

As I would find out, Madagascar is
vast and largely impenetrable.

I was told the journey would take a
gruelling two days by car

on notoriously bad roads, just to
travel roughly the distance

from London to Manchester.

So we, um...

Yeah.

- OK. So, we're going to Tsingy, where
you are going to see

spiky stone, where you are going to
see all of the lemurs and stuff.

So it's more on the west side.

So around like where I, uh, from.

By the sea.
- You prefer it there?

- Oh, yeah. Because there is my
environmental.

There is, you know, my home, actually.

- So you... Do you feel at most
comfortable in the water?

- My tribe are Vezo.

We live depending on the sea for the
entire of our lives.

I've been living in Italy, in Bologna.

Bologna is like in central. No sea and
stuff.

I don't feel it that I belong there.

No, not at all.
- Really? - No.

So I decided to go back home.

I felt that my ancestors are calling
me, you know, which is,

we are from the sea.
- Yeah.

- I belong to the sea.

There I am.

- It's amazing.

Sort of how I feel about County Mall
in Crawley. - Yeah.

Look at that, man.

Look at this! This is the Tsingy.

- That's the Tsingy?
- Yeah. Look. Look by your window.

Look at there.
- Oh, wow.

- It's amazing, isn't it?

- I can tell you're excited, aren't
you?

- Oh, man, I love it!

I'm going back home, baby!

Woohoo!

I'm going home.

- This is a proper dirt-landing strip.

- Yeah.

- Now I feel like we're on an
adventure.

- It is such adventure.

- LOUD BANG

Oh!

- Welcome.

Welcome to Tsingy, brother.
- Thanks, man.

Oh, man.

- Woohoo!

Thank you so much. So sunny!

- Bic said that the west of the
country is arguably

Madagascar's wildest and most
fascinating region.

Despite its proximity to the mainland,

humans only settled here around 2,000
years ago.

Madagascar grew in isolation, an
African Galapagos where 95%

of the species are endemic.

We'd be spending the afternoon
climbing through one of its most

spectacular landscapes - the Grand
Tsingy -

an area of bizarre, needle-like rocks
formed millions

of years ago.

- So the hike will start from here.

- How difficult is it for, like, uh, I
don't know, 45-year-old Asian man

with poor coordination, only one
functioning eye?

- It's not really difficult, but we
need our attention.

- OK.

- All right, buddy?
- Me? - Yeah.

- Good.

- There's a lot of up and down, isn't
there?

Already absolutely smashed my step
count.

We haven't even started yet.
- Yeah.

- Do you want to know what, uh, Tsingy
mean?

So, basically, Tsingy mean like you
were walking

on your tiptoe.
- Yeah. I think walking on tiptoes at the minute

is fucking impossible, to be honest.

LAUGHTER

- Yeah, we have to clip on.
- Clip on?

- Yes.
- Yes, baby.

I was looking forward to the clip-on
bit.

- Yeah, man.
- Watch your heads.

Be careful, be careful, be careful.

- We clip here now.
- Oh, thank you. Bic, you're so lovely, man.

Thanks, bro.

- Don't feel dizzy.

- This better be a hell of a fucking
view. - Yeah.

- Every time you think you've done the
worst of it, there's another,

more shit-scary thing.

The great thing is, they're both
naturals.

So I suspect this is going to end with
them

carrying my body back down.

I appreciate that some viewers will be
interested in how the Tsingy

were formed, while others couldn't
give a shit.

For the latter group,

I invite you now to mute this section
and enjoy the wondrous

sight of an overweight man slowly
wiping himself across a rock face.

For the curious of you still with us,
the Tsingy were formed some

200 million years ago, when layers of
calcite accumulated at the bottom

of a Jurassic lagoon, forming a thick
limestone bed.

Later tectonic movement pushed the
limestone up, while the sea level

fell, leaving the rocks exposed to the
elements, while groundwater

carved large caves below the surface.

Eventually, underground cave ceilings
gave way, forming

these razor-sharp rock towers.

I've realised I've got no real way of
inviting the people back

who muted that section, but they're
all ignorant pricks,

so, you know, who cares?

Oh, shit! Sorry.

- OK?
- Yeah. - OK, you're good.

- Oh, Bic, you did me before you, man.

LAUGHTER

- Make sure you are safe.

Don't look down.
- Shit!

- Don't look down, look up.

That's what Shrek said.

- I feel like Indiana Jones.

Indian Jones.

- OK, just hold it there.

Great. Let's, er, get you back over
the other side.

- Erm, I'm going to file that in a box
marked "go fuck yourself", mate.

LAUGHTER

We scrambled down the Tsingy as
quickly as we could,

needing to get back to our hotel
before darkness.

And I'm genuinely not exaggerating
here -

in order to avoid the bandits on the
road home

who might attack the vehicles.

But, despite the unseen dangers, I was
starting to love the country.

Erm, Bic is a different person in the
countryside

than he is in the city.

OK? When we were on the plane going
over the Tsingys,

he started going, "Yeah, baby!
Welcome! Tsingy time!"

Like his energy has changed.

He whipped up those rocks.

He's a different dude.

He's very, very enthusiastic about
everything,

seemingly irrelevant of whether it
deserves it or not.

And, on paper, I should hate him

but, I've got to be honest with you, I
find it quite endearing.

We are the perfect odd couple,
actually.

I think we'd do well in a little
sitcom about us having to live

together and just deal with each
other's foibles.

I'm trying to think of the backstory.

Bic arrives from Madagascar.

He's looking for somewhere to stay.

I take pity on him, I take him in.

I've got a wife and kids. Bic's living
in the spare room,

I find him really annoying.

But my wife and children find him
absolutely adorable.

He's like a second parent, the third
parent to my kids.

And then we get into all sorts of
scrapes, and hilarity ensues.

Bic & Rom, on BBC One.

The next day, we prepare to travel the
short hop

down to Belo Tsiribihina.

The 41-mile journey along the RN8
national road would take

a mere seven hours, along roads
apparently so treacherous

that we require a specialist driver.

Cady.

Driving onto this ferry would make me
shit myself.

- It's a very, very basic one.

- CADY LAUGHS

- This one is a piece of cake.

- Is it?
- Compared to the second ferry.

- Compared to the second one? Really?

Oh, man.

Great work, man.

Great work.

Really proud of you.
- Good job.

- I've never done anything like this,
man.

I mean, I've been on a ferry before,

but I've never been on a ferry like
that before. - Mm.

- Oh, whoa!

Are you just going to drive through
this? - Yeah. It's the national road.

- Wow!

This is incredible.

BIC CHUCKLES

- Amazing, isn't it?

- I cannot believe it.

We're driving through a lake.
- Yeah.

- I can't believe this drive. I cannot
believe it.

CADY CHUCKLES

Bic told me that, outside the capital,

the country is incredibly sparse and
extremely poor.

80% of people here live below the
poverty line -

a basic existence that has scarcely
changed in thousands of years -

not helped, of course, by these roads.

Can you explain to me what the road
situation is?

What's the deal?

- The roads, they should be maintained
by the government, but they're not.

And they are taking one ariary per
litre for the... - Road tax?

- For the road tax, yeah. To fix it,
but...

Nothing. But seems like 100% of the
money just disappear.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Madagascar's corruption problem is
well documented,

and doesn't just extend to the roads.

The battle to control the supply of
its famous vanilla -

the country's biggest export -

had led to a vanilla war and mass
deforestation.

Just one example of what should have
been a boon to the country

resulting in yet more chaos.

So, where is the money going, then?

- If I knew it, I would already take
it.

- THEY LAUGH

- We don't know where that money is
going.

- Is that a problem all over the
country, that?

- It's everywhere.
- Right.

- This is a national road, actually.
- This is a national road?

You'd have to really want to visit
somebody to go on this road.

- Yeah.

- Our journey finally bottomed out at
the town of Belo Tsiribihina,

which had the feel of a Gold Rush
town,

without any gold and without anyone in
a particular rush.

Travelling on these roads...
- Yeah.

- ..I feel like I've got like a core
workout or something.

My spine is basically approaching sort
of powder state.

- Well, hopefully we can have, like, a
good treat on this restaurant.

- Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.
- Welcome to Mad Zebu.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

- It's very nice, isn't it?

- Ooh!

Thank you.

- Yeah.

Merci.

This is lovely.

- Tuck in.

Mm, mm, mm, mm!
- It's good.

How's the zebu?
- It's melt-in-your-mouth, man.

- Are you not enjoying it?
- I love it. - Mm.

I did not expect to be eating a meal
like this.

Mm-hm? This little, tucked-away...

You just wouldn't expect to find a
restaurant serving

this type of food here, would you?
- I know what you mean. Yeah.

This is a unique restaurant.

- I can't even imagine how this has
happened, but I'm glad it did.

According to Bic -

and I've got no reason to disbelieve
him -

Mad Zebu was created to service those
tourists who manage to brave

the roads long enough to get here -

a fine-dining experience in the middle
of nowhere.

Madagascar still has only just over
300,000 visitors a year -

around a third of the tourists that,
say, Uganda receives -

the majority of those going to plush
international resorts in the north.

I was faintly furious that this option
had been withheld from me

until now, but the food was amazing,
so I let it go.

Thank you very much.
- It's really good.

Thank you so much.
- Thank you.

Should we have kept the fork and
knife?

- Oh...

- How come you decided to put such a
fancy restaurant in this location?

- Mm-hm.
- I mean, it's amazing to find this restaurant here.

It's like a little hidden treasure.

Do you find people travel from all
around to come and eat here?

Thank you so much for having us.

- How's the flavour?

- Very nice. Yeah.

- So the taste of a coconut is heavy,
or is...

- Not heavy. Very light.

Dances on the palate.

- Nice one.

- Are restaurants a big thing here?

- No, it's a new thing for sure. It's
not our culture.

So rather just the family, cook it,
and then we enjoy it together.

- OK. That's nice.

Did you ask for the napkin flowers?

- No!

I know, it's a bit romantic.

- Very romantic.

I feel like either you're going to
split up with me

or you're going to propose.

- I love you so much, Rom.

- Oh, I love you, too!
- But...

- BIC CHUCKLES

We left Mad Zebu and boarded a ferry.

By this point, we'd been on the road
so long

I'd given up caring about things like
itineraries,

scheduled stop-offs at must-see
sights, and basic comforts.

We were on the road for, like, four
hours.

Oh, OK. We were on the road for six
hours.

OK, I... Listen, you asked the
question.

If you know the answer, why are you
fucking asking me?

Er, we were on the road for about...

LAUGHTER

I feel a little bit battered, to be
honest with you.

But, in terms of mentally, this feels
like...

It feels like an adventure.

You know, it's a proper adventure. I
mean, for example,

you may be wondering why this ferry is
moving the speed that it is.

It's because there's a snake in one of
the engines,

which sounds like a terrible sequel to
a Samuel L Jackson film.

Snake In One Engine Of The Ferry.

It's much lower budget...

..but I think it's got legs.

It hasn't, actually. It's a snake.

So, erm, yeah, we're running on a
single engine because there's snakes

in the engine.

"I'm tired of this snake

"in this goddamn single engine of this
ferry!"

Guess the word about the snake in the
engine

has carried across to the banks.

I think he wants a dance-off.

I think he likes it.

- # I like to move it, move it

# I like to move it, move it

# I like to move it, move it

# Ya like to move it

# I like to move it, move it

# I like to move it, move it

# I like to move it, move it

# Woman, ya cute, and you don't need
no make-up

# Original cute body, you a mek man
mud up

# Woman, ya cute, and you don't need
no make-up

# Original cute body, you a mek man
mud up

# Woman, physically fit, physically
fit

# Physically, physically, physically

# Woman, physically fit, physically
fit

# Physically, physically,
physically... #

- We carried on down

what we were still optimistically
calling the road.

The idea from here was to see some
more of the country's unique

endemic wildlife, taking in the iconic
baobab trees

before spending some time with Bic's
own tribe

of seafaring Malagasy, the Vezo.

Next up, though, it was at last time
for an audience

with the island's famous lemurs.

- Welcome.
- Thank you.

Rom.
- Novo.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.

Before we go, I go to see the lemurs.

That's our five minutes.

You stay here.
- What are you going to do?

- I can't tell you. It is a secret.

- It's secret?
- Yeah.

- What do you think he's doing?

- I don't know. No idea. We see.

- We were met by a man called Novo who
is the lemur whisperer.

And he said, "Wait here. I'm going to
go get them together."

And then just ran around the woods a
lot,

and then after about five minutes, he
said...

- OK, they're here.

- ROMESH GASPS

Oh, my God.

Like, he said that he couldn't tell us
his secret technique,

but I think his secret technique was
to go in there and go,

"Can all the lemurs gather round over
there, please?"

Oh, man!

It honestly felt like we were in some
sort of lemur court case.

This is amazing!
- It is!

- I did not anticipate being this
close to them.

Oh, man!

I love the way they move.

I thought it was going to be more of a
challenge than that.

They were, like, super tame.

It wouldn't surprise me if, like, they
were trained or something.

They were so...calm around us.

How come their tails are so long?

- The tail is for balance for jumping.

- Yeah. It feels like an obvious
question, in hindsight.

Do they have any predators?

- Yeah. Fossa.

- Fossa?
- Yeah.

- Do you have any fossas around here?

- The fossas will be around here in
the forest.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Do people ever come and take them or
anything like that? - To eat.

- To eat?!
- Yeah.

- People eat them?!
- Yeah.

- But that's illegal, right?
- Yeah.

- Are they protected?
- Yeah.

- They're protected, but people still
eat them? - Yeah.

- The thing is, when he said some
people eat them, in my head,

I just straight away imagined somebody
removing a cloche,

and it's just lying there with one of
those berries in its mouth.

That's all I could think about.

Have you watched the film Madagascar?

- No.
- In the film Madagascar, the lemurs are a big part of that film,

and then they all dance to this song,
and everybody...

Well, everybody over the world has
gone crazy for that.

It was a big film.
- Not... No.

- He never heard it. He never seen it.
- Wow.

I was amazed that somebody from
Madagascar who looks after lemurs

hasn't seen the film Madagascar that
heavily features lemurs.

"Have you seen the film Madagascar?"
"No."

"Do you know that lemurs feature
heavily?" "No."

He's got no idea. Imagine that!

Just trying to get a selfie with this
lemur.

HE CLICKS HIS TONGUE

Yes!

Looks like I'm just photoshopped my
head in the corner

of a photo of a lemur.

I love lemurs. I'm not ashamed to say
that.

I'm like Dr Dolittle.

I just think there's something about
them, the way they move.

They're adorable. I mean, they're up
there with my favourite animals,

I think.

They're so cute.

King Julien.

I'm literally a dancing monkey, am I?

We reluctantly bade farewell to the
lovely lemurs

and headed off into the seemingly
endless Madagascan abyss.

MUSIC: Hizotra by ALALA

Bic told me that locals in these rural
areas

are incredibly superstitious -

a belief system built on a strict
observance of taboos

known locally as fady.

You know you were telling me about
these taboos? - Mm-hm.

- Do you have a lot of them in
Malagasy culture?

- It's everywhere in Madagascar.

- Really?

Is it called taboo?
- Yeah. Fady.

- Fady?
- That's what they call it - yeah, fady.

- Where does it originate from?

- Our ancestors since the beginning.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- So what are the examples of fady,
then?

- Like a sacred place...
- Yeah. - ..you cannot point a finger.

So you have to do this, or you put
your finger like this down that way.

- OK. Got you.
- That's what you've got to do.

- We also have, like, bad fady,

like in the south-east, for example,

there's a tribe, it's fady to have
twins.

Babies.
- It's fady to have twins?

- Yeah.
- Mm-hm.

- So if you get twins, you have to
bring the babies in front of

the ranch where you keep the zebu, you
open the door,

you let out the zebu.

Then the zebu will step on the one who
should not live.

If both die, means that both should
not live.

It's fady to them.

- What?!
- Yeah.

- That still happens today?
- Yeah.

- It's still happening,

but now there's an NGO trying to...
- Stop that? - ..fight against that.

Yeah.

So they are, like, trying to get

the second children that the parents
do not want. - Yeah.

Although there are attempts to
eradicate some aspects of fady,

others remain strong.

Bic explained that, according to local
beliefs,

the souls of the dead are housed
within sacred baobab trees.

Traditionally, holy people are able to
speak with these ancestors,

and Bic offered to take me to a
ceremony where the village shaman

would attempt to make contact.

What's the bag for?

- Fizzy drink and sweets and rum.

- Rum, fizzy drink, and sweets?
- Yeah.

This is for the, er, for the
ancestors.

It's a gift.

- THEY GREET EACH OTHER

- OK, we can sit here.
- OK.

What exactly is going to happen now?

- What happening now is that they're
going to ask for ascendants

for the spirits.
- OK. - Yeah?

He will become something else, like
someone else, speak.

- So is he going to take the spirit in
him now? - In his body.

- So we don't know what spirit is
going to arrive?

- We don't know. We have to wait who
is come,

but they will tell who is here.

- CLAPPING AND CHANTING

What is the knife for?

- Oh!

This knife is protecting him

because sometimes some other ancestors
are evil to come.

- Oh, I see. So in case a bad ancestor
comes, OK.

I said to Bic, "What's the knife for?"

And he said it's just to protect him
from an evil spirit.

But as far as I can tell, the spirit
is inside you,

so what do you do?

- I think I'm going to dance. Maybe
they will come.

- You're going to dance?
- I going to dance. - OK, go.

Bic, er, for some reason, decided that
the spirit might come out

more easily if he got up and started
dancing, which...

HE LAUGHS

..I don't know why he thought that was
going to work.

He sort of twerked a little bit by the
tree.

- Ah!

- What I didn't expect to see or hear

was the sound of a Bluetooth speaker
connecting.

BLUETOOTH SPEAKER CONNECTING

So they're going to play some music
now?

- They're going to play some music.

- MUSIC PLAYS

So they're trying to find the right
song now? - Mm.

- It turns out the clapping didn't
work,

and so we had to find...

Well, basically they went through a
load of different Malagasy tunes

to try and see what song would bring
out the spirit.

MUSIC PLAYS, TRACKS SKIP

- They're trying to find out the best
one that they like.

- How do they know which one to
choose?

- Because it's a certain music the
ancestor liked.

- It's quite a difficult job, that,

because you don't know which spirit is
coming.

And even if you did know which
spirit's coming,

you don't know what music they like.

So they were kind of skipping through,
trying to find...

..the type of music that the spirit
might enjoy.

Er, meanwhile, the shaman, who was
going to be channelling

the spirit, just sort of sparked up a
cigarette.

BLUETOOTH SPEAKER DISCONNECTING

It sounded like the Bluetooth
disconnecting. - Disconnected.

- What can you do?

Sometimes the spirits turn up,
sometimes they don't.

Thank you so much.

I think the fact that a spirit didn't
enter that shaman

gives it more credibility.

Because to my mind, you think about
any kind of medium in the UK,

if you tell them the BBC are coming to
do a documentary -

bells and whistles.

Do you know what I mean? You know,
really, if this was fake,

he'd be like, suddenly like making all
these noises, dancing,

and they'd be like, "Oh, my God, this
is, like,

"the maddest spirit we've ever seen in
our lives!

"We've never had a spirit like this
one! Get your camera on this!"

And then we'd leave just feeling like
we'd really got a show.

But...turns out, spirit didn't feel
like it.

Just wasn't going to happen today.

Thank you.

It's not his fault.

He was sat there. Everyone was
gathered round.

He had a crowd.

The spirit didn't turn up.

Everyone fired out, he's on his own.

That's showbusiness.

The ancestors were not coming, so
instead we headed off to

a nearby beauty spot - Madagascar's
most iconic vista.

MUSIC: Tsodrano by ALALA

Oh, wow.

- It's beautiful, eh?

- Is this created or did this just
happen?

- It's happened. It's already...

- This just happened like this?

- No-one planted those.

They were already there.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

- The Avenue of the Baobabs is a group
of endemic trees,

many of which are well over 2,500
years old.

MUSIC: Tsodrano by ALALA

Although they now tower over the
surrounding scrub,

the trees would have once stood amid a
thick forest.

Gradually, as humans cleared the area
for agriculture,

the trees became isolated -

the last remnants of an ancient
eradicated landscape.

So how old do you reckon these are?

- This is definitely, like, 1,000
years.

- This one?
- Yes!

- How do you know?
- Because they grow, like, very slow.

- What is this one here?

- That's tiny one. That's a baby.

- All right, let me have a guess.

I reckon that one...two years.

- No!
- What?

- This is not two years.

I would say 50.

- 50 years?!

- Yeah.
- This one?!

I'm not pointing at this one here.

It takes 50 years..?
- That's older than me.

- OK, let me guess. This one... 150
years.

- This one is, like, getting, like,
much... - That's what I was thinking.

No, I'm agreeing with you.
- Oh, I know!

- Yeah. So how old do you think?

One-fiddy?

- Yeah, I'll say that.

Yeah.

- BIC CHUCKLES

- They grow so slow.

- This is going to be my new show -
Baobab Ager.

When you look like this, it looks
incredible.

I just can't get used to how mad these
trees look.

- Mm-hm. Now they're looking dead, but
they are not.

- Yeah.
- They are alive.

- You love these trees, don't you?

- I love it.

- It's good, man.
- Yeah.

- 800.

- Yeah!
- Yeah?

- You got it, bro! You got it!

Ah, Rom!

- BIC CHUCKLES

Although the Malagasy beliefs remain
rooted in the past,

Bic told me that its people are facing
unprecedented challenges.

In 2021, the southern agricultural
region of Madagascar

was devastated by the worst drought in
40 years.

Crops failed, and more than a million
people were forced

into food hardship.

The effects of what's been called the
world's first climate-induced

famine are still being felt today.

We pulled over in what would have
been, until recently,

a thriving dense forest,

now a scorched, barren patch of
scrubland.

How bad was the famine?

Were there people that lost their
lives as a result?

- Yeah. It's quite bad when it was
happening.

- So was the country in basically a
state of emergency at that stage?

- Yes. More than half of the people is
migrate.

- From where?
- From south to go to the north.

- Right.
- Because on the north side, it's more green.

- Do they believe that what they're
experiencing is a result of

climate change and the result of
what's happened to the environment?

- Yeah, the people believe in that
because it's really obvious

there's not much rain.
- Yeah.

- Yeah. And in the olden days, like
when I was kids,

and we still have, like, lots of rain,
right?

And then during the rainy season, like
where I am from,

we can plant during the rainy season.

In the dry season, we can go for
fishing.

So that means, all year around,

we can eat or we can have food.

- Everybody moves to these different
areas during the famine? - Yes.

- What happens to those areas?

- The Chinese buy, er, you know the
peanuts?

- Yeah.
- Yeah. Really valuable things.

So to grow the peanuts, you have to
clear the area.

The baobab is a very old tree.

The baobab being sacrificed,

you have to cut it to clear those
forests,

and then the people can plant.

It's only a couple years - one, two,
three years -

you can grow on that land you've been
clearing.

So that means we have to clear more to
plant more.

- So it's not a situation where you
just clear some land,

and then that's where you grow peanuts
forever?

- No. Not forever.

- Did people begin to move back south,
or did they stay where they are?

- They no come back.

- They've not come back?
- It's no point to go back and stuff.

If they come back, and then what do
they do?

It's no rain.

- So it's been a permanent change,
it's not returned to normal?

- It's getting worse, actually.

- As a proud Malagasy, what do you
feel about the future

of the country? I mean, how worried
are you?

- Really worried.

Those things, I seen it now,

maybe my grandchildren won't see it no
more.

We're talking about, you know, the
baobab is being cut,

and then, you know, one day, my
grandchildren maybe seen

only one or two species remain, or the
lemur is gone. - Mm.

- Because we have the pressure for the
nature, lots,

we relying on the nature to survive,
to live.

- My epic odyssey across Africa was
almost at an end.

I'd been on the road for three weeks,

three weeks living alongside a film
crew

who had begun to feel like family,

although the sort of family who are
really annoying

and you just want to get away from.

Exactly like my real family.

We arrived at the remote fishing
village of Belo sur Mer

to spend some time on the ocean.

Beaches really are Madagascar's
drawcard.

There are 3,000 miles of pristine,
perfect beaches here,

and Bic wanted to take me to see how
his own people live off them.

- Nice to be back in the sea.

It gives me, like, energy.

- BIC CHUCKLES

- This is some of the reef fish that
you get here.

Sardines.

All of the people here are migrate
from places down south,

so basically they just make a house
like this.

- So, hold on, all of these people
have moved here, have they? - Yeah.

- Because it's easier to fish here?
- Yes.

- So straight away, do you feel like,
mentally, you're calmer

when you're by the water, yeah?

- That's how I am.

If there's something, like, stress me,

as soon as my head is underwater, I'm
so calm.

And then I come up, I forgot those
things.

It seems like fresh again here, is it?
- Really? - Yeah.

- When my wife is stressed, she likes
to dunk MY head under water.

It calms her down.

- Where I am from, it's a village
called Lamboara.

- Yeah.
- And then we have this special bay called Baie des Assassins,

and when I born, my parents take the
belly button, you know,

when are you born...
- The cord? - Yes.

and then we put the inside

the belly button here,

and then we have to take

where we are from.

And my belly button is thrown there.

My brother's belly button is thrown
there.

My mum's belly button is thrown there,

where my clan is.

- So there are just loads and loads of
belly buttons out in the water,

in the sea?
- Yes.

This is how we learn to sail a
pirogue, with kids.

- Oh, with the little toy ones, yeah.

- Yeah! We make it.

- They don't know how to make a
PlayStation. - Yeah!

Oh, man.

- Bic wanted to take me out on the sea
in a pirogue for the afternoon

to show me how the Vezo tribe have
sailed here

for hundreds of years, migrating up
and down the coast,

often living on the water for months
at a time.

- OK, so here we are.

I'm going to set the pirogue for you.

So this will go on the first mast.
This one.

- OK.
- I think it's better, Rom, if you're going to stand there,

you go outer on the pirogue.
- Out of the...? Yeah. Sure.

- Yeah. So now the wind are from here.

- Yeah.
- OK? So we're going that way.

So you put this balance a little bit
this side. - OK.

It's incredibly complicated.

- You follow?
- Yeah. I'm following, I'm following.

It's very complicated.

My biggest fear currently is if he
says,

"Now you set up that pirogue over
there."

- Woohoo!

Oh, yeah! Ha-ha!

Woohoo!

Great, huh?

- You love this, Bic, don't you?

- Oh, yeah!

I love it!

Woo!

How do you feel?

- It's great.
- Love it?

- So these pirogues...
- Yes?

- ..is it just, generation after
generation,

passed down how to make these, right?
- Yeah.

This is a culture.
- Yeah.

Because it looks so like... Obviously
it's home-made... - Yeah.

- ..then the idea that you're going to
do a home-made boat

seems so crazy, but it's like, it
works beautifully.

- I know.

- So far - I mean, we haven't got back
to shore yet.

- Want to go a little bit faster?

- Yeah, go for it.
- All right! Ha-ha!

Woohoo!

Permission to go faster!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

- BIC CHUCKLES

- How's that?

- That's so good.

Do you know what's fun, Bic?

Is seeing how much you love it, man.

- Oh, thank you, man.

How about yourself?
- Oh, it's good. - You enjoy it?

So what age were you when you started
being in boats like this?

- I grew up with my grandfather every,
like, holiday.

He's a sailor, you know?

I help him a lot on the pirogue,
fishing, go travelling somewhere.

Think I was eight, you know?

When we kids, we playing a lot in the
water.

Keep a hold of each other's head.

Who is the longest to kind of hold
their breath like this...

- What, you hold each other's head?

- Yeah!

- So how long do you think you can
hold your breath underwater for?

- I can hold my breath for, like, uh,
two to three minutes.

- Two to three minutes?
- Yeah.

- No, you can't.
- I can do that.

- Well, go on, then. Prove it.

Well, Bic's kind of in his element
when it comes to this kind of thing,

and he's been showing me how to sail
the pirogue.

At one point he said to me, "Romesh,
you want to help?"

And I said, "Yeah." And I thought,
"OK, cool, he's trusting me."

Said, "Can you move up the other end?
Because there's too much weight

"down this side."

So basically what I've done is I've
been ballast.

That was one minute?

So, like, yeah, it's been fun.

Um, it's been, like, good times...

At what point do we go down and, like,
check that he's OK?

Erm, I think he's been such a great
guide and, like,

showing me around the country and
everything.

Oh, he's up!

- Yes.

- That is Bic, isn't it?

Yes.

Er...how long was that?

One minute 58!

Two minutes. We'll round it up.
Congratulations, brother.

Great stuff.
- You want to try?

- No.
- I want to see how you do it!

- All right. I'm just going to do one
minute 59

and come back up just to get it,

because we've got to get back to
shore.

- Bic, how long's he been down there?

- Me?
- No, how long's he been down?

- Oh, fucking hell!

Oh, God!
- He's already up.

- Oh, God!

I panicked, and then I hit my head on
the bottom of the boat.

- Ohh!

- Oh, God.

- You OK?

- I'm fine, I'm fine.

HE GRUNTS WITH EFFORT

That was horrible.

Oh, God!

I started shitting myself as soon as I
went under the water.

It was horrific.

And then I thought, "I'm never going
to get back up again,"

and then I hit my head just under
there.

How long did I do?

- 10 seconds.

- Fuck!

- It's good, though.

A good one.

- Although many of the people that
were staying in Belo sur Mer

were nomadic Vezo, there is a
permanent community here -

families of boat-builders who still
construct schooner ships

in the way the French taught their
ancestors 200 years before.

As luck would have it, they were
launching a vessel that afternoon,

and invited Bic and me along to help.

I say "as luck would have it" -

we'd actually begged them to hold off
until the afternoon

so we could film it for our finale.

But everything else is real.

What is this we're going to now?

- This is, like, a launching the boat
in the water.

So it's a big ceremony for the Vezo.

- So every time they build a boat,
there's a party? - Yes.

They're going to launch the boat. I
mean, we have to help it.

- WE have to?
- We have been invited.

- OK, so what do we do? Do we push?
- We push or pull.

And then it's long rope over there.

- OK.
- Whatever you prefer.

- No, you tell me.

- I think we prefer to be on the
front.

- OK.
- So we can pull it, and it's more space.

- OK.
- Let's go a little bit further so not close to the boat,

because it's your first time.
- Oh, yeah.

- Because some people fell down and
then they get an injury from it.

- Are you serious?
- Yeah, I'm really serious.

Right here. OK, this is go.

- Oh, my God.

- Yo!

Stop! Stop!

Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!

Now we stop.

- Well, we pulled it, and we pulled it
the wrong way,

so we've got to straighten it.

I say "we" - I'm doing very little.

- Now we got back this way.

- Well, it's gone out of control.

It's out of control.

- Whoa! Whoa!

- Oh!

- Come, come.

Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop.

- I'm officially announcing my
retirement

from the boat-pulling industry.

- What happened then?

- Because one second, you're, like,
just pulling.

It's, like, really hard. Everybody
goes, "Pull,"

and then it just starts moving so
quick.

It's like, "I'm just going to get
crushed between these two boats."

So that was fun, I survived, I really
hope they get it launched,

but I'm declaring my involvement over,
so all good.

- We out.

- The entire week, Bic has been
absolutely incredible.

He is such a staunch advocate of
Madagascar as a place

and of the people.

Today, to be honest with you, I've
really seen what Bic is about.

You know, his tribe are all about the
water,

but he is properly of the sea.

I mean, it genuinely feels like you're
knocking about with Aquaman.

It honestly does.

Coming to Madagascar has been a proper
misadventure

in every sense of the word.

It's a country that I didn't know
anything about,

had no preconceptions about, apart
from the animated films -

two of which weren't set in Madagascar
at all.

But it has been a proper adventure.

I mean, you really do feel like you
are...

..in a country that is just its own
kind of ecosystem

in every single way.

It's got nature and wildlife that only
exists on this island.

It's got cultural elements that only
exist on this island.

It's an amazing place.

If you're looking for something that
really feels like

you are going on an adventure,
Madagascar has got it.

When we finished the Rwanda trip,

I said that that was kind of like
entry-level Africa.

If you were nervous about or unsure
about going to a place like that,

Rwanda was the place to go.

Madagascar...

..is the place to come when you've
really got a taste for it.

The more kind of hardened traveller, I
think.

It's like Rwanda's the gateway.

Madagascar is like when you say, "I
fancy something a bit stronger."

The roads are difficult. You'll see a
lot of poverty.

People are struggling here.

You'll be asked for money a lot.

But I think it's as remarkable as
Rwanda and Uganda

for completely different reasons. It's
an incredible place.

We've been on the road doing three
countries in succession

and...

..to be honest with you, it's felt
like a once-in-a-lifetime trip.

I feel like being out here for the
amount of time that we have done

has made it feel properly immersive.

Every single day has been an amazing
experience.

I've seen elephants, I've seen lions,
gone white-water rafting,

hung out with gorillas, saw some
incredible waterfalls...

..been on rock formations that don't
exist anywhere else in the world.

I mean, it has genuinely been, day
after day, a series of unbelievable

experiences, and I feel very lucky to
have taken part in it.

You know, some people get the travel
bug when they go travelling

in a gap year.

Some people go to a country they
weren't expecting to go to

just for a roll of the dice, and they
get the travel bug that way.

I got the travel bug by doing a series
of travel shows on the BBC.

And, you know, we all have our routes,
and this has been mine.

- So where are you going next year?

- Disney World.

I've got kids, haven't I?

MUSIC: Lahy'ty Raho by ALALA

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