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MAN: Oi, you! Don't fucking move!
Oh!
2
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,760
SHE PANTS
3
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:13,359
Oi, stop!
4
00:00:13,360 --> 00:00:14,759
Fuck!
5
00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:16,919
Very disabled,
6
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:18,399
move, move!
7
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:19,839
SHE GRUNTS
8
00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:21,280
Everything all right?
9
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:27,160
SQUELCH!
10
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,120
Fuck!
11
00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:40,119
The man
came in,
12
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took one look at me,
13
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:48,199
and cut my benefits in half.
14
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,359
You've had ataxic cerebral palsy
since birth? Yep.
15
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Due to a complication -
16
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,159
whoop -
17
00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:00,559
on the exit slide.
18
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:05,919
I didn't breathe for 17 minutes.
19
00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:10,080
I really wouldn't recommend it.
20
00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:14,879
How does your cerebral palsy
affect you on a daily basis?
21
00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:18,679
My speech... obviously,
22
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:24,079
and when I walk,
I drag one foot behind...
23
00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:25,879
You've ticked...
24
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:30,119
..."walking long distances brings
you considerable pain."
25
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,039
You got here.
26
00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:35,399
You don't seem to be
in considerable pain.
27
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:36,719
Your words.
28
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:40,959
Well, no, not today, but...
29
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,799
TYPES KEYS
"Not in pain."
30
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,639
Well, no, don't write that.
31
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:48,840
Moving on.
Do you regularly soil yourself?
32
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,200
Oh, God.
33
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,200
BANGS DOOR
34
00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:00,000
God.
35
00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:02,879
Oh, God!
36
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:04,999
Mam, the lighter.
Pass me the fucking lighter, Mam.
37
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,479
Oh, God!
38
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,119
Sorry!
39
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,480
Hey, hey, hey. You're, um...
40
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:15,600
Don't I, um...?
41
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,679
Didn't we shag in a Co-op storeroom?
42
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:25,159
I don't shop in Co-op.
43
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,039
Their sausage rolls
44
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,639
are not big enough.
45
00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:34,279
Could've been in Asda.
Hmm, Asda.
46
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:39,479
I think we went to school together.
47
00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:43,160
Ewen Sheridan, right?
48
00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,439
Fuck!
49
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:51,119
It's fucking you, man.
Hey, fuck, it's Emily Dawkins!
50
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,639
Wait, I thought you'd died.
51
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,999
Oh, no.
52
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:59,799
That was that other disabled kid.
53
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The other one. Wendy.
54
00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:04,679
Hmm. Pot-ayto, pot-ayto.
55
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:08,319
I haven't seen you since...
56
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:09,639
The fires.
57
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:13,759
Nobody believed that sweet
little Emily were involved.
58
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:17,359
I could get away with anything.
59
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:19,679
What are you here for?
60
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,759
An appeal. Hmm.
61
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,959
But I fucked it.
62
00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:28,279
I told them I don't soil myself.
63
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,920
Yeah, you gotta play the system.
Mam...
64
00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,159
...do you soil yourself?
65
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:36,399
Yeah. Can you wipe your own arse?
66
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,159
No. Are you in pain?
67
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:39,640
SHE WINCES AND GROANS
68
00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:44,919
HE LAUGHS
69
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,639
Just your regular Julie Dench
over 'ere!
70
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,999
She's got that multiple scoliosis
thing, right, but it's not that bad.
71
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,279
Sclerosis, you dumb fuck.
72
00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:55,519
Scleros...
73
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:58,079
And what's up with you?
74
00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,159
One foot -
75
00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,200
half a size bigger
than the other.
76
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:04,840
Look at 'em.
77
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:08,919
Bizarre.
78
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:13,280
And I do genuinely
fucking shit myself, but...
79
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,480
...only when I'm completely
fucking battered.
80
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,479
So, what do you do for a job, like?
81
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,999
I work for a charity.
82
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:29,359
We check if workplaces
83
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,919
have accessible loos.
84
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:36,799
And then we give them
85
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:40,399
a sticker if they do.
86
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,520
Oh, I love stickers, man.
87
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:48,599
So, do toilets pay well?
88
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,359
It's voluntary.
89
00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:57,439
But Jo, our boss, she's amazing.
90
00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:03,039
She'll start paying us soon.
91
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:07,959
We have an office in the back.
92
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,520
Is that where they keep
the donkeys?
93
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,639
Yeah. It is.
94
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,480
Don't it stink?
95
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,919
Yeah. It does.
96
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,559
Look, it's a bit random,
but if you need 50 squid
97
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,799
you could deliver this tomorrow
at 10:00.
98
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:32,080
Flat 42, Gurnard House.
I'm too busy to do it meself.
99
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:35,319
What's in it?
100
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,599
Kinky shit. I sell whips,
101
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,039
plugs, clamps, flashlights.
102
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,799
Are flashlights kinky?
103
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,959
Well, they are
when you stick your cock in one.
104
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,799
Well, it feels a bit dodgy.
105
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,360
Right. Where is it? Suit yourself.
106
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:55,999
I'm saved under "fit boy
from assessment centre".
107
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,919
Text me when you change your mind.
108
00:05:57,920 --> 00:05:59,440
I won't.
109
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,239
You fucking will.
110
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:03,879
I won't!
111
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,679
Will. I won't!
112
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,080
Will!
113
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:10,920
I won't!
114
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,959
Fucking WILL!
115
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,679
I WON'T!
116
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,600
Will!
117
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,319
Mr Andrew Hadden?
118
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,239
My name's Hope
and I work for a Bracklington-based
119
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,999
disability charity called Wee CU.
120
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,520
Is now a convenient time to speak?
121
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:42,400
When might be a convenient time
to speak, Mr Andrew Hadden?
122
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,440
"Half past fuck off"?
123
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:53,279
That's disappointing.
Just hang up.
124
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,119
Hello, Emily Dawkins.
125
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,199
No, I was speaking to Emily Dawkins,
not you, Andrew Hadden.
126
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,879
May I ask you one final question?
127
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:04,879
Would you prefer disabled people
simply shat in their wheelchairs?
128
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,439
No, genuinely, I'm interested.
129
00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,959
ANDREW HADDEN: I will be reporting
you to the Charity Commission,
130
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,800
I hope you're aware...
THUMPING
131
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,999
Oh.
132
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,759
The phone's broken
133
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,519
so I'm off to lunch.
134
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,639
Meal deal, Harry Clarke?
135
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,239
No!
136
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,039
HE GRUNTS
Hurry up.
137
00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:30,799
Oh, I signed for a parcel for Jo.
138
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:35,319
Oh, thanks.
Um, make any phone calls?
139
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,919
Phone calls? Oh...
140
00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,959
Who to?
141
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,759
Don't worry.
142
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,359
Enjoy your meal deal.
143
00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,039
Yeah.
144
00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:47,800
Oh, yes.
145
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,000
SHE SNIFFS DEEPLY
146
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,759
Mmmm, Jo.
147
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,559
I got a notification about a parcel.
148
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,520
Hi, Jo!
149
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:06,399
A parcel?
150
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:09,119
No, nothing's here.
151
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,399
Um, if it comes,
152
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:14,359
I could come to yours,
153
00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,359
drop it off,
154
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,719
cheeky glass of wine...
155
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,439
It's only lingerie. No rush.
156
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:26,079
Oh, cool.
157
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:29,159
Groovy. Yeah, yeah.
158
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,839
Listen, um...
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00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:33,479
...Emily.
160
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,119
Do you know why I started
this charity?
161
00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:40,039
You want every workplace
162
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,879
to be welcoming
163
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:49,679
and accessible
to all disabled people.
164
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:53,319
Yeah. But, specifically,
Soho Farmhouse.
165
00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,599
Did you know they only have
two disabled parking spaces
166
00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,919
and, like, one accessible toilet?
167
00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:02,719
No. We rang up
168
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:06,519
and, actually, they have, like...
169
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:07,999
Don't.
170
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,079
It's abhorrent, Emily.
171
00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:11,839
Let's talk donations.
172
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,079
Yeah, you first,
173
00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:18,639
and then I'll offer my two pence.
174
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,719
Have we had any donations?
175
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,399
Two pence.
176
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:25,239
And technically that was
177
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,559
bank interest.
178
00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:30,559
Actually, I've been meaning
179
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:34,719
to talk to you about wages.
180
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,479
Well, listen, lovely,
181
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:40,039
I can't afford to endlessly pour
money into this little thing.
182
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,039
Bring in those juicy donations, yeah?
183
00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,079
Book assessments. And then,
184
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,959
perhaps we can go to Soho Farmhouse
together.
185
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,759
Check out the toilets.
186
00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:54,879
But if nothing improves
by the end of the year,
187
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:56,839
we'll have to shut down.
188
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,480
Please,
don't make me be that person.
189
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,520
DOMINOES SCATTER
190
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:09,600
RINGING TONE
191
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,199
MAN MUMBLES
192
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,679
What am I looking for?
193
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,040
What am I? What am I?
194
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,559
What am I? Oh, God!
195
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:24,479
What was that...
196
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:25,920
...pretty lady?
197
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,079
BUZZER
198
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,960
DISTANT SHOUTING
199
00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,159
Ka-ga, ka-ga.
200
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,560
Ka-ga!
201
00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,800
QUIETLY: The bin.
What?
202
00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,999
The bin! The green bin.
203
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,239
What?
204
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,519
Don't keep saying "what".
205
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,359
Have you heard of bins?
The bin. Go to the bin.
206
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,279
Oh, OK!
207
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,640
There we go.
208
00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:02,079
Come on.
Yeah, there's a white envelope.
209
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,839
Got it!
210
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,359
Thank you!
211
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:06,839
All right, all right.
212
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,599
Bye! Don't say bye!
213
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,119
Fuck me...
214
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,600
Rude.
215
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:14,999
Shit!
216
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,480
POLICE RADIO CHATTER
217
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,240
Fucking hell.
218
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:38,199
Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop.
219
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,760
Big boy!
220
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,879
I always wondered.
221
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,719
You'll know this -
you work with donkeys.
222
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,959
What kinda animal
223
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:54,680
is an uht?
224
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,759
Don't worry.
225
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,840
They're extinct now.
226
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,480
Right.
227
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,519
They're dead.
228
00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,599
Never open the serious-looking ones.
Just chuck it.
229
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:17,199
"Dear Miss Dawkins."
230
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:20,399
Why do they have to rub it in
231
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,479
that I'm single?
232
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:25,239
And ageing. You're past your prime.
233
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:28,239
"I'm writing to inform you
234
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,599
"that your appeal was...
235
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,639
"..unsuccessful."
236
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:38,959
Told you, mate. You shoulda
dribbled. Even I dribble a bit.
237
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:44,679
"All money to be ceased
immediately."
238
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,759
Fuck off and die.
239
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:51,800
Love from the DWP.
240
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:54,799
Did they actually write that?
241
00:12:54,800 --> 00:13:00,159
So I lose the few quid they gave me,
for what?
242
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,719
Cos I can walk to work
243
00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:07,439
and touch the end of my nose
244
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:11,560
with my index finger?
245
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:19,399
That's not lingerie!
246
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:23,479
What do they want me to do?
247
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:27,879
Just stay stuck here
248
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,159
in this house,
249
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:34,479
shitting in an adult nappy
250
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,559
like a big fucking baby...?
251
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,600
YELLS: What the fuck are you doing?!
252
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,879
Shit!
253
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,759
It was drugs?!
254
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,959
Of course it were drugs, man!
255
00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:59,479
You seriously thought I were running
an underground sex toy business?!
256
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:00,719
No.
257
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:04,399
My dad will be home soon.
258
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,439
Go, go!
259
00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:09,399
Outside!
260
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:15,399
I'm a drug user, not a drug dealer.
261
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:21,039
Paracetamol, ibuprofen.
262
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:24,519
Sometimes both!
263
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:28,239
Listen, right,
seeing you again, right,
264
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,119
has got me thinking.
265
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,599
The ideal drug mule
266
00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:36,119
is a good ol' girl
with an obvious disability!
267
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,440
So, vi-o-lah!
268
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,959
"Voila"?
269
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,919
Voi-olah!
270
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,399
Yeah?
271
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,919
You could pass off any powder
as your meds or say,
272
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,279
"A nice man fucking gave 'em me,"
right,
273
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,519
and then start fucking screaming.
274
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,879
Play up your cerebral whatsit, right?
275
00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:00,440
We can make shitloads
of fuckin' money!
276
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:03,840
Here, smell it.
277
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,600
Smell it.
278
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:12,039
Yeah. Give it a good smell.
279
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,479
SHE RETCHES
280
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,799
You all right?
281
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:15,999
Onions?
282
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,239
Emily, love? Are you home?
283
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,440
Um... Oh, my God. Oh...!
284
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,320
VACUUM WHIRS
285
00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,519
What's this, then?
286
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,479
I dropped a bag of...
287
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,399
Sugar. ..flour.
288
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:37,239
Flour? Yeah, I was baking
289
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,359
flap... A big cake. ..jacks.
290
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,519
Flapjacks don't use flour, man.
291
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:46,759
A lovely big flapjacky cake.
292
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,519
Oh, right. Yeah.
293
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:51,799
When's it ready?
294
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,559
We ate it. Yeah.
295
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:56,479
Before you cleaned up?
296
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:59,239
Oh, we were well 'ungry.
297
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,439
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
298
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:02,999
What?
299
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,639
Um, all right. Bye-bye, Mr Hawkins.
300
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,679
Yeah, see you later.
301
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:11,439
Bye, helpful boy!
302
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:13,319
No problem!
303
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:16,279
You should go, OK?
304
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:19,439
Listen, hold coin for a bit, yeah?
305
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,159
Yeah?
306
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:22,759
Think about it.
307
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:24,959
All right? OK.
308
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:26,559
Bye-bye!
309
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,519
Bye-bye.
310
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:30,279
I bet you'll keep that money.
311
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,639
I won't. You will. Won't.
312
00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,359
Good day, Dad?
313
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,559
The best.
I've got me front page for October.
314
00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:43,039
A guy on the estate
is stealing lead.
315
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,440
It's a lead about lead!
316
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,040
That joke will work written down.
317
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,640
OK...
318
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:06,839
Oh, hi!
319
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,519
Hiya. Hello!
320
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,559
Hello. Remember me?
321
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,639
It's parcel lady.
322
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,159
Yeah. No pressure,
323
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:22,159
but can we swap back our parcels?
324
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:25,999
It'd be great for my conscience...
325
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,519
Yeah. ..if we could.
326
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:33,119
Right. You want your packet back,
yeah? Yes, please. Yeah?!
327
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,399
Yeah, you want me to sell it to ya?
Yeah.
328
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:36,959
Yeah, will that be good? Yeah.
329
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,679
Are you fucking filming me
or summat?
330
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,039
Are you fucking filming with
your little camera? Excuse me.
331
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:42,999
With your little fucking camera?
When's the last train to Ganstead?
332
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,519
What?!
When's the last train to Ganstead?
333
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,599
I'm not a fucking timetable. When's
the last train to fucking Ganstead?!
334
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,799
I'll fucking bounce you up and down.
Move.
335
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,639
Give me that money. Give me this.
Give me this...
336
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,239
Oh! Oh!
337
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,679
Crips help crips.
338
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,319
Hold me beer.
339
00:17:57,320 --> 00:17:59,399
Oh, fucking... Oh! Jesus!
340
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,479
There.
There's your fucking timetable...
341
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,279
DOG BARKS
Hey! You lot!
342
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,039
You're fucked! Stay right there!
343
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,999
Well, it's not
as if we're Usain Bolt
344
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,799
and fucking Paula Radcliffe, is it?
345
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:10,919
{\an8}Don't touch that dog.
DOG BARKS
346
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,439
Is that what you teach dogs to do
now, is it, maul disabled people?
347
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,439
What are ya, Humberside Police
or the fucking SS?
348
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:19,079
Just stay there, sir.
I need to talk to...
349
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,959
We're a couple of poor cripples
who get mugged in broad daylight
350
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,679
and now you're setting vicious dogs
on us!
351
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,279
I want to speak to the young lady
now, sir.
352
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,799
So SHUT UP!
353
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,080
Are you all right?
354
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,519
SLOWLY: Can you tell me
what's wrong?
355
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:36,959
I...
356
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,360
I can't help it.
357
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,080
Am I in trouble?
358
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,999
Of course not. Um...
359
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,679
Oh! Er...
360
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:52,999
Gotta go.
361
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,559
Um, did you want to file a report?
362
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:56,799
No.
363
00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:01,680
Thank you, Mrs Policeman.
364
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,120
Did you really piss yourself?
365
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,559
Ta-da!
366
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,439
Waste of good beer, that.
367
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:20,999
SHE CHUCKLES
368
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:26,199
Thank you
for beating the living shit
369
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,759
out of that man.
370
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:33,280
How can I ever repay ya?
371
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,039
Blowie?
372
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,839
Yeah, I probably
373
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:46,479
won't give you a blowie.
374
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,120
Worth a try.
375
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,959
How about a pint?
376
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:54,559
And that's why I had to have iodine
377
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,879
injected into my urethra.
378
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:58,560
I wouldn't recommend Belgium.
379
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,199
What's YOUR back story?
380
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:07,959
Oh, I used to tell people at school
381
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:14,639
that I was like this cos my dad was
382
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,639
Stephen Hawking.
383
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:19,159
Fancy a cocktail?
384
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,559
Do they do 'em in 'ere?
385
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,119
No, I'm fucking joking.
386
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:25,599
We're having a lager.
387
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,040
Two more, please, Dave.
388
00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:33,519
Well, look who it is. Emily Dawkins.
389
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,519
About your money...
390
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:39,799
Did you bring a heavy?
391
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,079
Shush. He's on paleo.
392
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,279
He's trying.
393
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:50,559
Ewen, I lost the money you left me.
394
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:54,239
But I got some of the...
395
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,960
QUIETLY: ..drugs back.
396
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:04,639
No worries. You're not angry?
397
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:05,959
Nah, I'm happy.
398
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,039
Happy Ewen,
that's what Nan calls me.
399
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:13,039
So he's not here to break my legs?
400
00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:14,799
What would be the point?
401
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,559
Nah, this is Minibus Masir.
402
00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:18,079
All right? I'm Masir.
403
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:19,439
He has a minibus.
404
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:20,799
Nice one.
405
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,399
When's the last train to Ganstead?
406
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:23,959
Oh, heel!
407
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,240
We're old friends.
408
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,399
Right, OK.
409
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,080
Well, if you need me, I'll be...
410
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,640
...shootin' pool.
411
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,400
Oh, for fuck's sake.
412
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,919
You, you brought a heavy?!
413
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,359
I did. One word,
414
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:52,880
and he'll tear your face
right off.
415
00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:55,680
POOL BALLS RATTLE
416
00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,399
So, we do have a good laugh,
don't we?
417
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,559
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We have a good laugh, don't we?
418
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,239
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, right. So, did ya
think about what I said, yeah?
419
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,799
Yes. Yeah. It's a no.
420
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,159
Oh, come on, Em, right.
You're perfect.
421
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,199
You're a lonely, boring,
422
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,359
single woman rapidly hurtling
towards middle age.
423
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,319
Am I right, Masir? 100%.
424
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,800
You're invisible. You're nuffink!
425
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:25,439
You have a lovely way with words.
426
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:28,999
You're gonna come work with me,
aren't ya?
427
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:33,719
Let me think about this properly.
428
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,799
The charity doesn't pay me.
429
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,359
Shit career prospects, tick.
430
00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:43,919
And I'm stuck living with my dad.
431
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,599
No life, tick.
432
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,639
Er, sad dad, tick.
433
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,479
He looked quite well, by the way,
434
00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,760
old Steve Hawkings.
Yeah, talking normal again.
435
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:57,479
What would happen if I get caught?
436
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,319
If yous was caught,
they'd just, like,
437
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,960
well, look at you,
and they'd be, like...
438
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,759
Fuck it. Fine.
439
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:12,239
But just until I clear my debts.
440
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,680
Here's some more cocaine for you
to deal.
441
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,039
Are you dealing cocaine on a
Wednesday lunchtime, Emily Dawkins?
442
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,359
No.
443
00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:23,440
Why would you think that?
444
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,840
Not again!
445
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:47,440
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446
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