All language subtitles for Phineas And Ferb s05e09 The Chronicles.eng

? There's a hundred
and four days of summer vacation ?

? And school comes along
just to end it ?

? So the annual problem
for our generation ?

? Is finding a good way
to spend it ?

? Like maybe ?

? Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy
or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ?

? Discovering something
that doesn't exist ?

Hey!

? Or giving
a monkey a shower ?

? Surfing tidal waves ?

? Creating nano-bots
or locating Frankenstein's brain ?

It's over here!

? Finding a dodo bird
Painting a continent ?

? Or driving
our sister insane ?

Phineas!

? As you can see,
there's a whole lot of stuff to do ?

? Before school
starts this fall ?

Come on, Perry!

? So stick with us, 'cause Phineas
and Ferb are gonna do it all! ?

? So stick with us, 'cause
Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ?

Mom, Phineas and Ferb
are making a title sequence!

[narrator] It's the third installment
of Meap.

Meap.

If you haven't seen
the first two, go back and watch them now.

We will wait.

Okay, we're done waiting.

The first episode of Meap
ended with a trailer of random shots

for an episode
we never intended to make.

But then we had to write
around those shots

incorporating them into
a second episode.

At which point, we knew we weren't
going to make a third episode,

so we ended it with an even
dumber trailer. Take a look.

And now a trailer for an episode
we also have no plans to make.

Pay attention up there.

-Jerry the Platypus.
-Ferb,

aren't those extinct?

As a matter of fact,
I object to this union.

? Yes, I'm just a guy who's
a sucker for the sounds of mass transit ?

[squealing]

[narrator] The Chronicles
of Meap, Episode 42 .

-Meap.
-[narrator] Meap me in St. Louis.

Hey, wasn't that Suzy stuff
supposed to be in this one?

[narrator] Now, somehow we have

to incorporate these 12 shots
into an episode.

Here goes.

[whirring]

[crashing]

This is the Ellias Commander.

You've been ordered
to stand down.

[electronic voice]
Self-destruct initiated.

Five, four, three, two.

[gasps] Oh, man.
You know how much paperwork this means?

[whirring]

[narrator] The Chronicles
of Meap Episode 42.

[Meap] Meap!

Meap Me in St. Louis.
Starring John Stamos as Meap.

Meap! Meap! Meap! Meap!
Meap! Meap!

-[whirring]
-[tires screeching]

[narrator] Well, Candace,
you're at a Bangaroo themed birthday party

for a little girl
who despises you.

I just hope no one objects
to a giraffe marrying a lemur.

Well, as a matter of fact,
I object to this union.

But only 'cause it's cuter
than my shark koala.

So your wife is still
in her stained glass phase?

I don't wanna talk about it.

Thanks for coming, Candace.
Suzy's been waiting for you all day.

Oh, yeah, she looks psyched.

Hey, did I see Perry on
the invite?

No.

She invited Jerry
the Platypus.

-Jerry the Platypus?
-A little further.

A little further.

Okay. Open your eyes.

Huh? Huh?

If this is an intervention,
I don't think you guys are doing it right.

No, today's the day.
We're gonna build a bread bowl hot tub.

-Bread bowl hot tub.
-Yeah.

Whoa! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We built the drone!

Well, that was trippy.

Good morning, Agent P.

Doofenshmirtz has been spotted doing
a variety of non-evil things, maniacally.

We have to assume
evil intent, though,

because that's what pays
the bills around here.

Thwart away, Agent P.

Here we go. This doesn't
even make any sense.

Yeah, I'm gonna be soaking
in soup.

[Phineas] VHS tapes?

Ferb, aren't those extinct?

So this is kind of cool.

Just regular folks having
a nice time.

And Meap. Meap, what are you
doing here?

Candace, I've come
16,000,000 light years to find you.

Wait, how can I understand you
without your mustache translator?

Oh, we got new translators.

That's why I sound like
John Stamos. Have mercy.

Right, of course.

Candace, Big Mitch is back
with a new, convoluted, evil scheme.

But no one believes me.
And you are my only hope.

-Come on
-Jeremy,

Brayden number three is dipping
his finger into the cake and denying it.

I wish I could bust him.

Psst. Child's play.

I could bust him with my hands
tied behind my back.

Well, if it's so easy,
why don't you show me? Come on.

We are on an important
mission, young lady.

-Let us pass.
-I don't think so, short stuff.

I think you and I are about
to have a giant matrix-like battle.

In front of all these
Bangaroo Toys.

No, no, no, no, no.
I'll do this.

Oh, guess we're not
gonna fight.

Brayden, you are so busted.

That was amazing.

Exactly why I sought you out.

Candace, you are the most focused,
determined busting machine I know.

Together, we can bring
Mitch down.

Well, it is sorta
my wheelhouse, so you know,

sure, I'm in.

The first thing we must do
is recruit the rest of our team.

The most inventive human minds
this side of Nebulous Nebula.

You're gonna say Phineas
and Ferb, aren't you?

Yes. Yes, I am.

Yeah! Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

[all] Oh, hi, Candace.

[indistinct chatter]

-Hey, Meap.
-We need your help with Big Mitch.

Of course.

I'm sorry, Buford. We'll have to save
the bread bowl hot tub for another day.

No!

And to make matters worse,
my own alliance commandos are after me.

I was forced to go rogue
in order to prove Mitch is planning

to build a vast criminal empire by finding
the lost treasure of Zachariah Yore.

Who?

Uh, I don't care that much.

Well, the treasure's
a huge case filled with enough treasure

to buy an equally huge case
filled with the same amount of treasure.

[all] That's a lot
of treasure.

So, where is Mitch anyway?

Do you need a break from the tedious
shame spiral that is your life?

I can give it to you at Big Mitch's
Ultimate Vacation Destination Tours.

These fake tours are a ruse to fund
Mitch's search for an ancient treasure.

A treasure that I believe
is right here on Earth.

Hey, we could set a trap and catch
Mitch red-handed, trying to steal it.

Great idea, Candace,

but it could put the planet
in grave danger.

These tourists have trashed
every environment they've gone to.

Oh, we can handle
a few partying out-of-towners. Right Ferb?

The question is,
how do we turn Earth

into the ultimate
vacation destination to lure Mitch here?

-Wait, I know, Stabby Barf Pain.
-Excuse me.

Stabby Barf Pain sounds like
the worst thing ever.

Stabby Barf Pain is the name
of a theoretical fifth season

that combines the best aspects
of the other four seasons.

Winter, Spring, Summer
and Fall into one.

Flowers bloom as golden leaves
fall from trees.

Warm sun shines
as beautiful snowflakes fill the air.

A fifth season
beyond all expectations.

That's Stabby Barf Pain?

Yep, it gets its name
from the scientist who theorized it.

Doctor Sunny Gloriousweather.

Yeah. He was bad
at naming things.

It's theoretical, but what if
we actually made it?

-? Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. ?
-[swooshing]

Okay, let's try this again.
Eh, eh, eh.

Ah, Perry the Platypus.
Look, Balloony's back.

You remember Balloony, right?

Why is laughing the only thing
evil scientists do, you know, maniacally?

I thought, hey, I should stand out
and do something else maniacally.

I'm expanding my brand.

So far, not that much luck.
Walking maniacally,

that ain't happening.
You saw. You saw.

Neither is brushing my teeth
maniacally.

Asking for a shoe
in size ten, maniacally.

Going to the bathroom,
maniacally.

That was a failure
of epic proportions.

You don't want to know. Wait,
Perry the Platypus, where are you going?

I could use a non-latex
second opinion, please.

Please.

I see it's annoying,
but it works.

[? tropical music playing]

This place stinks.
This isn't vacation weather.

It's raining crustaceans.

It's time we continue
our quest

-for the galaxy's...
-[all] Ultimate vacation destination.

We need to find
a real vacation destination

before these losers see through
my ruse and stop funding this expedition.

Keep scanning.

Okay, Operation Snitch
on Mitch.

These weather altering
machines will spread Stabby Barf Pain

across Danville.
Attracting anyone out there

scanning for
vacation destinations.

Candace and I will use
my intel to locate the treasure.

I just wish I had my ship.

You mean the ride from
outer space?

Ferb.

[whirring]

My ship! But it was destroyed.

You mean you made me
another one?

Nah, he made it for us
because it was too cool not to have, but--

You can have it. We're done.

Oh, thank you.
I mean, thank you.

There, locked and armed.

Oh, that's
the self-destruct button.

The alarm is on
the other side.

Okay, maybe we made two.
In case someone accidentally exploded one.

I mean,
the remote is ambiguous.

So if you're a fugitive
from the alliance,

can't they track your
remote signal here to Earth?

Yes, Yes, they can.

[? dramatic music playing]

Um, if you're done staring into
the distance, we got a lot of work to do.

[? upbeat music playing]

? Stabby Barf Pain
It's the best of all four seasons ?

? Stabby Barf Pain
We're gonna tell you all of the reasons ?

? Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall
all roll together in a big, old ball ?

? Sunshine, snow,
and wind and rain ?

? That's what you call it
Stabby Barf Pain ?

? Stabby Barf Pain
I never felt so hot and cold ?

? Stabby Barf Pain
This fabulous feeling will never get old ?

Pay attention, up there.

? Whichever combo
has a better ring ?

? It's all of the best parts
none of the bad ?

? It's the best season
that you ever had ?

? It's Stabby Barf Pain ?

[vocalizing]

? Stabby Barf Pain ?

[vocalizing]
? Yeah, yeah, yeah ?

? Stabby Barf Pain
[vocalizing]

[on radio]
? Stabby Barf Pain... ?

We've intercepted
a signal from Earth.

Stabby Barf Pain.
I thought that was theoretical.

I have found the perfect
vacation destination.

Set a course for this Earth.

[laughs maniacally]

[all] What do we want?
The ultimate vacation destination.

When do we want it?
In the foreseeable future.

Just as I promised
the ultimate vacation destination

with Stabby Barf Pain.

-Stabby Barf Pain?
-The theoretical fifth season?

Set course to Earth.
[laughs maniacally]

That should appease
those insufferable ingrates.

We can still hear you!

[? upbeat music playing]

Hey, that's refreshing.

Stabby Barf Pain? Just when
we were sure we only had four seasons,

suddenly there's a fifth.
Anyway, we'll have to take the bus

because maniacal parallel parking
turned out pretty much as expected.

I made a dinner date
with the jaws-of-life.

Meap, Meap, Meap, Meap.

We must hurry before
the alliance finds me.

Tracking the treasure case's
trajectory...

It ended up in Missouri
sometime around 1933.

That case is supposed to be huge.

How could they keep something
like that hidden?

Let's see, in 1933,
St. Louis

created a monument
to Western expansion in America.

This thing.

Candace, that's it.

Stabby Barf Pain
is spreading in this area.

I'll send our obnoxious
tourists down there

while we continue our search
for the treasure.

Colin Junior can head up
the landing party.

Speaking of which,
where is Colin Junior?

-Ugh.
-Sorry, Sir. It happened again.

You know, Perry the Platypus,

maybe I'm being too narrow
with my definition of maniacal.

I can just sing maniacally
on a bus.

? I'm just a guy who's
a sucker for the sounds of mass transit ?

It really is Stabby Barf Pain.

I can't believe--
Wait, freeze that image.

It's Colin, the real Colin.
I don't need you anymore.

Wait. What is everybody...
Oh, I get it.

Alien invasion. Yeah, that's
worth staring at. I get it.

Ow! Hey, wait, wait, wait, no.
No, Balloony!

Seriously, you had this
the whole time.

Why were we taking the bus?

Oh, that's right,
the trailer thing.

Save Balloony!

[whirring]

Whoo-hoo, Stabby Barf Pain
makes me want to party.

It's pillaging weather, baby.

Dink Wickerson here as alien
tourists trash Danville.

-Yay!
-Yeah, I love prepaid vacations.

They're trashing everything.

We've gotta find a way
to wrangle these alien visitors. Buford!

What? It's pillaging weather.

Just remember we've got to get
to Mitch before the alliance.

Uh-uh, remember,
it's the other button.

[alarm beeps]

Intruder, identify yourself.

Right, come on, come on. You gotta see
what the other bots are doing.

Come on, hurry.

Nice work, Candace.

That's busting 101,
I got this. Or maybe I don't.

Look who's here, Colin.
My old nemesis, Meap.

And, uh, what are you?

I'm the girl who brought
you down twice already.

Me? But I'm just a totally innocent
and legitimate business owner

who has already paid his debt
to society.

Totally innocent
and legitimate business owner

who's already paid his debt
to society.

-My fuzzy white butt.
-You don't fool us.

You're just here 'cause
you know the treasure of Zachariah Yore's

on this planet.

The treasure is on the same planet
as Colin and Stabby Barf Pain?

What are the odds?

Well, you're never gonna
get to St. Louis before--

-I'll stop talking now.
-Set a course for St. Louis.

Okay, Perry the Platypus.
I've got an idea.

First things first.

We have to take down
these robots that look like us.

[grunting]

I mean, they look
just like us. That's weird, right?

Come on,
let's go save balloony.

[car backfires]

[? electric guitar playing]

Hello, alien tourists.

Put down that city property
and make your way to the dance floor.

? You've been partying hard
on the ultimate vacation ?

? But there's a new craze
that's been sweeping the nation ?

? You think you're bad enough
If you want to take a chance ?

? Then get ready for this
brand-new dance ?

? Everybody just sweep
to the left Sweep, sweep to the right ?

? Actually pick up a broom
and just sweep it out of sight ?

? Pick up that clutter ?

? Clear out that gutter
Do the laundry and the dishes ?

? Or I'm gonna tell
your mother ?

? Mop, wipe, wash and scrub
Do the tidy up ?

? Do the tidy up
Do, do the tidy up ?

? Tidy up
Do, do the tidy up ?

? Pick up a vacuum
Pick up a brush ?

? When you go to the bathroom,
please remember to flush ?

? Feed your iguana
Hose down your best friend ?

? You've gotta sparkle
if you wanna do this hot new trend ?

? Mop, wipe, brush and scrub ?

-? Do the tidy up ?
-? Do the tidy up Do, do the tidy up ?

-? Do the tidy up ?
-? Do the tidy up Do, do the tidy up ?

-? Do the tidy up ?
-? Do the tidy up Do, do the tidy up ?

-? Do the tidy up ?
-? Do the tidy up Do, do the tidy up ?

Cleaning is fun.

Okay, now you ruined it.

So where could that
treasure be? That's it!

Once I get that treasure,
I'll use the money to create my own army

to destroy the alliance,
or maybe Earth, first...

I don't know the exact order.

But there's going to be a lot
of destroying. Ready the winch!

-[? epic music playing]
-[whirring]

Pull!

[people screaming]

The lost treasure case.

Well, it's more of a valise, but I found--
Maybe it's more of a briefcase.

But it belongs to me.

[alarm sounds]

This is the Outer Worlds
Commando Alliance.

Wow. Good timing.

Guess I leaked the St. Louis
info at just the right time.

-What on Earth are you talking about?
-You are so busted.

Hang on! Hang on. Mitch,
have we literally caught you red-handed?

Stealing the lost treasure
of Yore.

Exactly as Meap warned us
you were.

Well, when you say it
like that...

You fell for the oldest trick
in the book.

Well, well, well.

Colin, cover my escape.

[automated voice]
Warning, self-destruct activated.

Come on, Candace.
He's getting away.

How did you-- I'm still--
Whah!

Balloony,
I came to rescue you.

Warning. In case you forgot,
self-destruct still activated.

Perry the Platypus.
The ship is gonna ex--

Never mind. I'm on it.
I'm on it.

I guess I just have to press
this blue button.

Uh, Balloony.
What are you--

Okay, I know that's just
the air currents

pushing you around,
but that's still special.

[automated voice]
Warning. Self-destruct activated.

It's still progressing.

One step closer.
It's a go, people.

Got to get to
that button.

-You should consider leaving.
-Perry the Platypus. Balloony!

Okay, Clown bots. Let's try fighting
to save my friends, maniacally.

[indistinct shouting]

[automated voice]
Self-destruct in three, two, one!

Ugh. I guess in retrospect,
I should've pressed that first.

I hope he won't mind me
borrowing his silly little toy ship.

[grunts]

[both grunting]

Get away from him, you Mitch.

Oh, hilarious.
I truly expected to turn

and see you pointing some huge
atomic neuralizer at me

or something.
But you've got nothing.

Not nothing. I have the key fob
to that ship so you can't escape.

-I'll take that.
-No, Candace,

if he hits that red
Turbo button, he'll be going so fast,

we'll never be able
to catch him.

See ya,
wouldn't wanna be ya.

[tires screech]

-[laughs maniacally]
-[alarm beeps]

Well, that worked.
Red turbo button.

I learned from the best.
Shall we say it together?

-[both] Busted!
-And with my hands

actually tied behind my back.

[crashing]

Come on, Balloony. This is us.

I'm just so glad
to have you back.

But watch yourself,
Perry the Platypus,

I got maniacal
fighting skills now.

You saw.

Wait, we're in St. Louis?
When did that happen?

Listen, listen. I don't think
nobody noticed. Just put it back.

[? epic music playing]

Meap.

? Do the tidy up
Do the tidy-- ?

You know what?
It's not as much fun anymore.

It just feels like work.

You're a true hero,
and I should've had faith in you.

Although, actual evidence
really helped.

Thanks, but the real hero here
is Candace Flynn.

It was her plan to bust
Big Mitch that saved the day.

Then I officially make Candace Flynn
an unofficial agent of the alliance.

Thank you, Chief.

So what time you coming
home tonight, baby?

Oh, I don't know, honey.
Six, sevenish.

Okay, cool. Remember that
my mama is coming for dinner tonight.

Oh, so that's your wife.

Yeah, no one ruthlessly hunts you
across the galaxy like my Brenda.

Hey, you know, we didn't get
to enjoy this fifth season.

So would you mind if we borrowed
your Stabby Barf Pain generator?

Not at all. It's all yours.

Oh, oh. And I was just about
to call Mom on that.

Thank you, kids
and especially you, Candace.

Maybe some good has come out
of my busting obsession.

I don't think it's really
a busting obsession.

It's a justice obsession,
and the day that you realize that,

well, that just might be
the day all your dreams start coming true.

Nah, it's definitely
a busting obsession.

So, we're not doing
a trailer for the next one.

[narrator] And now a trailer for another
episode we do not intend to make.

[indistinct shouting]

Wait. Wasn't that Suzy stuff
supposed to be in this one?

[bell dings]

All right. I guess that's
a victory.

? It's Stabby Barf Pain ?

[vocalizing]

? Stabby Barf Pain ?

[vocalizing]

? Stabby Barf Pain ?

[vocalizing]

? Stabby Barf Pain ?

[vocalizing]

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