All language subtitles for Gidget.S01E31.I.Have.This.Friend.Who.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

[Gidget narrating] In English

composition, my
teacher's always nagging us

not to use clichés.

And I suppose
she's right as rain,

but I'm finding out clichés
have a lot of truth in them.

Like those who have, get.

Or haste... makes waste.

It's always darkest...
before the dawn.

And three's definitely
a crowd,

especially when
number three happens

to be your boyfriend's father.

I hope you two
are as hungry as I am.

Gee, Dad, you just went
to get a package of gum.

Well, hot dogs, potato chips,
uh, dill pickles,

root beer, popcorn
and ice cream.

Did I forget anything?
The gum.

I'll get it later. Come on,
let's, uh-- Let's live it up.

Hey, I can't remember the
last time I had this much fun.

The three of us
are going to have

to plan more things together.

I'm ready for anything.

You, uh, feeling any
better, Dad? I'm fine.

Maybe it was that
last dill pickle.

Or the one before that.

He looks so pink. Maybe
he's got a fever. It's sunburn.

Uh, you think, uh, maybe
we should, uh, go, Dad?

Well, if, uh,
you two have had enough.

We'll, uh, come earlier
and stay longer next time.

♪ [jazzy pop]

♪ If you're in doubt
about angels ♪

♪ Being real

♪ I can arrange to change

♪ Any doubts you feel

♪ Wait till you see
my Gidget ♪

♪ You'll want her
for your valentine ♪

♪ You're gonna say
she's all that you adore ♪

♪ But stay away
Gidget is spoken for ♪

♪ You're gonna find
that Gidget is ♪

♪ Mine ♪

You're awful quiet.

I don't know how to act
when it's just the two of us.

Oh, you're still
teed off about my

dad fouling up our
day at the beach.

I don't mind having to
leave the beach so much.

But the three of us going
to a drive-in movie?

I'm sorry, Gidge. I
know you missed a

lot of the picture
from where you were.

Well, all three of us couldn't
sit in the front seat.

- Next time--
- Next time?

Honestly, when you
came into first period

today, I expected to
see your dad with you.

I know how you feel, Gidget,
but I know how Dad feels too.

He thinks he didn't spend enough
time with me when I was a kid,

so now he's making up for it.

Boy, is he making up.

Since your mother went to
visit her sister,

you and your dad
have been like Siamese twins.

He wants us to be pals.
I-- I have pals.

What I'd really like
is a father.

Yeah. Like other fathers.
Like my father.

Toby, your dad and mine
are good friends, right?

The best.

Maybe if I told my dad
about our problem--

No, Gidge.
I thought about that.

But how would my dad feel

if he found out I was asking his
friends how to get rid of him?

Well, it wouldn't
be like that. No.

My dad can be
very subtle. I know.

Promise me you won't mention
a word of this to your father.

You might let it slip
without meaning to,

and, well, I don't want
to see my dad hurt.

Yeah. Fathers are fragile.

If, uh, you don't
want to date me

anymore, Gidget,
I'll-- I'll understand.

Don't be ridiculous.

I'm not going to let your
father come between us.

There's got to be a way that
we can work this out somehow.

If there were only someone
else we could talk it over with.

Yeah. They ought to have
"parent guidance" centers.

It would have to be somebody who

could look at it
from the outside.

Yeah. Like a minister or a
doctor or-- Or a psychologist.

A psychologist.

♪ [music box]

Ah. Oh, hi.
Hi.

♪ [stops] Am I interrupting
something important?

A little experiment
on the correlation

of auditory distractions...

and reaction time in a
normal adult male. You?

It can have far-reaching
implications.

And I thought you were playing a game of jacks.
[chuckles]

What brings you to these
hollowed halls of science?

I was hoping you could
give me some advice.

All right, Gidget.
What's the gag?

No gag. This happens to be
a very serious matter.

You are seriously asking me
for advice on a serious matter?

Yeah. I'm desperate.
What's your problem?

It's not really my problem.
Well, in a way, I guess it is.

You see, I have this friend
who has this father.

Oh. So you want my advice
for this friend.

Yeah. My friend's
father is working

24 hours a day at being a pal.

Always around?
Always.

He has this idea he has to make
up for a lot my friend has lost.

We're dealing with a
sensitive man. Very.

Here. Sit down.
My friend doesn't

want to hurt his feelings.

A very difficult situation.

But this is why your friend
can't just speak to the father.

Mm, exactly. He tries
so hard to do everything

he thinks will make
my friend happy.

This situation is not
uncommon though. No?

No. It's a very difficult
phase in the adult male's life.

Listen, it can be pretty
difficult for the children too.

[chuckles]

Incidentally, I don't happen to
know this friend of yours, do I?

Well, kind of. But I
promised not to tell. Naturally.

Uh, there are reasons.
Oh, there usually are.

If it was up to me, but, of
course, it isn't. I understand.

Maybe later on, when things have

settled down. Then
he won't mind. Okay?

Well, actually,
names aren't really important.

Symptoms.

Patterns.
That's what counts!

Now, Gidget, I want you to
stop worrying about this.

I'm going to give it some
thought

and try to come up with
an answer... for your friend.

Swell. And, John,

if you ever want to
run an experiment

on a normal, immature female,

I'll be glad to come over
and play jacks with you.

Bye.

Isn't it possible she really
was asking for a friend?

[chuckles]

Anne, that's the most
obvious cover-up in the world.

"I have this friend who"--
You know that as well as I do.

Gidget and Dad do
spend a lot of time together,

but I always thought
she enjoyed that.

She's gone along because she
just doesn't want to hurt him.

Hey, but if we tell Dad--
Absolutely not.

In the first place,
he wouldn't believe us.

And if he did, he'd go right
to Gidget and ask her about it.

So what's wrong with that?

Anne. She would
naturally have to deny

that she was
talking about herself.

She'd fall back on the same

dodge. "I have
this friend who"--

Oh, but Dad and
Gidget have always been

so straightforward
with each other.

This problem calls
for an oblique approach.

The last time you tried that, it
almost broke up our marriage.

This is different.

I'm going to draw
Russ away from Gidget...

without his knowing
what I'm doing or why.

Okay. As long as you know
what you're doing.

You selected me
as a volunteer?

The last time
I checked my dictionary,

"volunteer" meant to offer to do
something of one's own accord.

I was sure you'd offer
when you realized

how vital it is.
How vital is it?

I have to complete
all my experimental

research on my
term project this week,

and I don't have
a suitable terminal subject.

There must be dozens of people
you could ask.

Not with the right
qualifications.

This particular
subject has to be a

mature male with
exceptional sensitivity,

emotional stability
and a high I.Q.

Mm-hmm. And just what sort
of an experiment is this?

It's the application
of emotional

and physical stresses...

and their correlation
to motor and

mental effectiveness. Oh, that.

You'll be getting me out
of a jam, but that's not all.

This experiment can have
far-reaching implications.

You'll be doing your part
to further the advancement...

of the frontier
of scientific knowledge.

Well, if you'd given me a
little more warning. Russ...

I'm only asking for
a few evenings of your time.

When would we start?
Tonight.

I plan to play poker tonight.
Oh, I'm sorry.

Obviously, my future
and the future of

your daughter doesn't
mean much to you.

Well, we don't want
you to give up poker

or any of your other
pleasures for us.

Forget us.
Enjoy yourself.

Since you put it that way-- and
I might have known you would--

All right.
I'll be your guinea pig.

Gidget, great news.
The pressure's off.

- Your mother's home.
- No.

Your father's gone
to be with her?

No. Dad's still here.

But, uh, you and
I are gonna have

a whole evening
all to ourselves.

Just the two of us?

Just you, me-- no more, no less.

Oh, dreamy. Well,
how did you work it out?

- I mean, what--
- [Russ] I am doing it for Anne's future.

What happened with the
third side of the triangle?

You know, we were talking about
maybe having your dad call him?

Francie.
Hang on.

Our service has been
temporarily interrupted.

I hope you feed your guinea pigs well.
[chuckling]

How long is it gonna take you
to find out

what happened to the
third side of that triangle?

Two minutes. Fine.
Then I need the phone.

No wonder you lost
the third side-- doing

your geometry
homework on the phone?

[clicks tongue] Okay, Toby, go on.

Well, strictly on his own,
my dad called your dad,

and the two of them are
gonna play poker tonight.

Oh. Perfect.

So, I'll, uh,
pick you up about 7:30.

And don't panic
when you see my dad.

He's going to the
game with your father.

Okay. Wonderful.
I'll see you at 7:30. Bye.

[sighs] Phone's clear!

[chuckles] Thanks, honey.

What's that for? Oh, can't a
girl just show her appreciation?

For what?
For everything.

Oh, Gidge, I'm going
to be out tonight. I know.

[doorbell rings] I'll get it!

Hi. Come on in.
Hi. Thank you.

I'll tell Dad you're here.
Uh, Gidge--

He's probably getting
some last-minute

practice with his marked deck.

Your dad and I aren't
going to the poker game.

You're not?

No. Your, uh, dad canceled out.

He did?

Something came up
unexpectedly.

So you're going to the
game without him, right?

I, uh, thought about it.

But you decided it
would be more fun

to spend the evening
with Toby and me.

Right. After all, we can't
break up the three musketeers.

All for one
and, uh, one for all.

Right.
Let's go.

There you are.
Thank you.

Well, this thing is awfully

heavy. Just take
your time. Okay?

Okay.

Oh, Toby, I'll never
be able to do this.

Sure you will. You're just all
tensed up. Relax. Okay? Okay.

Sorry.

Uh, I think it's, uh, the way
you're supporting the rifle.

Yeah? Here, let me show
you. Support it like, uh, this.

Like this?
No. More like this.

Oh. That's right. And then
just, uh, squeeze the trigger.

That's right. See?
Oh. I think so.

I think you better
show me again. Okay.

No, no, no. Let an old pro take

over. It'll save
us a lot of time.

Oh, I'm no in no
hurry. You hold it

up here. No, up
here a little more.

That's it. And here
and here. Yeah.

Now, now eye on the target.

Eye on the target, dear.

Hey, look at that!
Did you see that?

I ask you, who's the
teacher? Oh, you are, Dad.

♪ [music box]

Very good.

Are you sure this
is furthering the

frontiers of
scientific research?

Of course. Now,
we'll do the same

thing with a non-preferred hand.

My left hand? Uh-huh. That's
the stress factor, you see.

♪ [stops]

[childlike] Shall I
start on my onesies?

No. I think we can
leap right into twosies.

Try again.

Hi.
Hi.

You were out awfully
late last night. Yeah.

I got hung up
on my fivesies.

Your what?

Nothing.

Did you have a
good time? Mm-hmm.

I learned how to shoot a rifle
at McGowan's shooting gallery.

Well, that sounds like
a constructive evening.

Yeah. Learning could be fun with

fewer people around.
Big crowd, huh?

A crowd's a crowd no matter
how many people are in it.

That strikes me as
profound, but then my

judgment is never
very good before 9:00.

Yeah. About tonight--
I'll be out again.

Yeah, so will I.
Well, stay out of crowds.

No chance.
We take our crowd with us.

[sighs]
[clocks ticking]

How am I supposed
to concentrate on

chess in the middle
of a clock factory?

The time limit on each move and

your awareness
of time passing...

is the stress factor
in this phase.

[alarm ringing]

[alarm stops]

[ticking continues]

[sighs] Interesting.

- Why aren't your moves timed?
- I'm not being tested.

Well, if you're not
testing yourself,

why don't you
make just any move?

Are you in a hurry?

Not particularly.

But I think I should
remind you that

it's been scientifically
established...

that the average
life expectancy for

a man my age is
only 29 more years.

Okay. Now, you kids
know better than to

park up here. Oh,
uh, we're not parked.

What would you call it?
Uh, we're stalling.

That I believe. No. She
means we're stalled.

You see, we were taking the
short-cut home from our date...

and the engine died,
and then I flooded it.

So now we're just
waiting a couple of

minutes before we
try to start it again.

- That's a good story.
- It happens to be the truth.

- And who are you?
- I'm the boy's father.

As my son said,
we were taking our

date home, and the engine died.

Well, why do you find that
so hard to believe?

Dad, as of now,
I'm ready to believe anything.

Darling, if you don't hurry,

you're going to
be late for class.

In a good cause.
Here.

Ah.
Will you be home tonight?

No. I'm going to meet
Russ at 7:00. Again?

Anne, I'm guaranteeing
Gidget a life of her own.

Yes, but look what
you're doing to our lives.

[muffled] This is
no time to be selfish.

Anne, as soon as
I break the pattern

of your father's
dependence on Gidget,

I'll get back
to you again.

Oh, why, thank you.

You've absolutely
made my morning.

Now we have a record of your

marksmanship
without the stress factor.

Why do you keep
looking around?

Gidget said she
was in here the other

night. I thought
I might see her.

Forget Gidget.

I'm sure she thinks I have.
I've hardly seen her all week.

You're doing something much more

important-- functioning
as my guinea pig.

And I'm sick of it.

Good guinea pigs
just do as they're told.

How would you like to get
yourself another guinea pig?

Chickening out?

No. What am I supposed to do?

Just try to
hit the target.

With my non-preferred hand?

No.
Then where's the stress?

The repressed hostility
you feel for the experimenter.

I'll, uh, take you home
in a few minutes, Gidge.

Oh, that's okay. I'm enjoying
myself. Just the two of us.

It'd even be nicer
if I wasn't so tired.

Yeah. Dad sure has
a lot of energy.

Yeah. But he finally
did give up.

This is nice.
Yeah.

It must be the way
parents feel when they

finally get their
little kiddies to bed.

Yeah. Only just when you get
comfortable, one of them yells.

Yeah. "We're scared of the

dark." "I want a
drink of water."

Yeah. And then the poor
parents have to jump.

Toby! Gidget!

Surprise.
[chuckles]

I, uh, I couldn't get to sleep.

So I finally decided
I was hungry.

And if I was hungry, you must
be hungry too. So, here we are.

Dad, you-- you shouldn't
have. You really shouldn't have.

- Hi.
- Oh, hi, John--

Thought I might hear from you.
You know, a word of thanks.

For what?

Well, you know, the
situation with your

friend. The father who
was always around.

I guess you've noticed a big

difference the last
few days. Yeah.

- It's been a lot worse.
- Worse? How could it be?

Well, if it isn't
target shooting

lessons, it's a midnight supper.

He works around the clock at it.

He sure does.

Thanks anyway, John.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll
talk to you later.

- Bye.
- [line clicks]

It's incredible.

Your father leaves
me, and he rushes

home and teaches
her how to use a rifle.

What every young girl
should know.

I have to face it. My
oblique approach has failed.

I'm going to
tell Russ the truth.

Hey, you look very nice.

Well, how sweet of you
to notice.

Hey, uh, why don't
we go out to dinner

and then afterwards
maybe go to a show?

But I thought you were
breaking the news to Dad?

That will only take
about 10 minutes.

Then after that, you and I can--

Sorry, but I have
other plans.

Other plans?

Mm-hmm. A little
experiment of my own.

How does a wife compensate for a

husband who's
forgotten she's alive?

Good-bye.

[door opens, closes]
Anne.

Daddy, if I told you you were
trying too hard to be a pal...

and asked you to
relax and let me live

my own life, would
you be crushed?

Mm, I might be dented
a little, but I'd survive.

If I did feel that way,
you'd want to know about it?

I mean, you wouldn't want
me to pretend? Of course not.

Do you feel that way?
No!

Well-- I'm talking about this
friend who has this father.

Well, you don't
live my life for me.

In fact, I've hardly
seen you lately.

Well, no one's seen me lately.

Well, almost no one.
Except John. John?

You've been spending all
this time with John? Yes.

You'd think he'd
been paid to keep

me out of circulation.
[chuckles]

Wait a minute.
Huh?

Did you by any chance
mention to John that

you had this friend
who has the father?

Uh, I'll never learn.

"The shortest distance
between two points

is the longest way
around." John's Law.

- Hello.
- Hello. Uh, Mel, this is Russ.

Yeah. Look, I'm sorry I had
to cancel out on the poker,

but how about going
bowling tonight?

Tonight? I'd intended to spend
the evening with my son.

Well--

"I have this friend who"?

Mel, will you take a tip from a

father who has a
very smart daughter?

Sure.

Live your own life.
Let the kids live theirs.

But a father feels
a responsibility.

To be a father.
When he needs you

as a parent, he'll let you know.

Maybe you're right.

You know, I've
been having so much

fun with Toby since
Meg's been away,

I'm-- I'm all tensed up.

You wouldn't
believe the physical

and emotional stress
I've been under.

Yeah, come by about 7:30.
Right.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, hi, John.
Hi, Gidget.

After tonight, you'll have no
more problems. About what?

You know, the
father-- the friend

who-- Oh, that's all settled.

Since when?
This afternoon.

But how? I thought you said--
I appreciate your interest.

But I found out it
really didn't concern

you after all.
[doorbell rings]

Hi.
Hi. Come on in.

All set? Yeah. Dad,
Professor Whitley's here!

Have a good time, you two. Bye.

[Russ] Bye, Gidget. There
go a couple of active kids.

Hi, Mel. Oh, John, I
meant to phone you. Hi.

I'm tied up tonight,
going bowling with Mel.

It's been a while. My, uh,
shoulders are a little stiff.

Well, I've got this trick knee--
We understand each other.

- What about me?
- [Russ] You go home to your wife.

She's the one that took you
for better or worse.

Anne's not home.

Hey, listen, why
don't we stop and I'll

change my clothes
and go bowling with you?

John, after what
I've been through,

if you and I were
on a sinking ship

and there were
only one lifeboat,

I would seriously
consider swimming.

[Gidget narrating] Like I was saying,

there's a lot of
truth in clichés.

You take a cliché
like, "Half the

fun of knowing
is in the learning."

I'm willing
to go along with that.

I can't understand
it. That time Dad

showed you, you
did it perfectly.

I guess you'll just
have to show me again.

Okay. I hope this
isn't boring you.

Oh, I don't mind.
Now your hands go like this.

Like this?
Uh-huh.

[Gidget narrating] In fact, you

can make that more
than half the fun.

Make it 90%.