All language subtitles for Gidget.S01E16.Too.Many.Cooks.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

[Gidget narrating] Up to 9:30,
it was a normal Saturday night.

Daddy was home working,
and I was out playing.

At 9:30 sharp, it became
definitely abnormal.

[door opens] I was home.

Thanks for the movie, Tate. That

drive-in has the
best hot dogs in town.

I wish we could've
stayed for the

second picture.
I was still hungry.

Yeah, I know. But if
your poor old daddy

was swamped with
work over the weekend,

wouldn't you want
to come home early and help?

Not me.
He's an undertaker.

Oh. Yeah. Well--

Well, if he was just a
normal person like my

dad, a college professor,
I'm sure you would.

So if you'll excuse me,
I'll see you Monday at school.

Be down to watch
football practice?

Well, natch.

It's my favorite sport.
toodles.

Well, where are
those true-false tests?

- Hi, Dad.
- Hi, honey.

Hey, I really apprec--
[footsteps on stairs]

[doorbell rings]

Hi.

Hi, Corky. Sorry we
had to start out so late,

but my poor old daddy was
swamped down with exam papers,

and he really
depends on me for help.

- [Corky] Sure. That's okay.
- Good-bye, Dad.

I saw you watching
basketball practice

yesterday. Natch.
It's my favorite sport.

[door closes]

What you get
for hiring cheap help.

♪ [jazzy pop]

♪ If you're in doubt
about angels ♪

♪ Being real

♪ I can arrange to change

♪ Any doubts you feel

♪ Wait till you see
my Gidget ♪

♪ You'll want her
for your valentine ♪

♪ You're gonna say
she's all that you adore ♪

♪ But stay away
Gidget is spoken for ♪

♪ You're gonna find
that Gidget is ♪

♪ Mine ♪

♪ [rock]

I don't dig why you dated
them both on the same night.

Corky Cook and Tate Cook hate

each other. Didn't
you know that?

That's how I got goofed up.
I couldn't clear myself.

I dated Corky for the 14th
and Tate for Saturday night.

And they turned out to be
the same night. Very careless.

What you need is
a social secretary.

Somehow I feel
it's all Jeff's fault.

Oh, that's logical.
Jeff's been away at

Princeton for the
last couple of months,

and you haven't even
seen him, so it's his fault.

It's just that I love him so
much and miss him so much,

that I'm always looking for
people that remind me of him.

Those two gorillas? Well, Tate's
captain of the football team,

and Corky's captain
of the basketball team.

And Jeff was captain
of both teams.

Good thing he wasn't
interested in baseball,

track and swimming,
or you'd really have problems.

Loneliness is a terrible
thing. So's bloodshed.

♪ [continues]

Tate! No one ever invites
'em to the same party.

Somebody did.

Oh, no. I thought this
bash was exclusive.

Well, how could you think
that if you were invited?

Hey, you wanna do something
about it? Now, listen, you two.

This is a living room,
not a battlefield.

After all, you're-- you're

- cousins.
- [Tate] Don't rub it in.

[Corky] Hmm. Duh.

You were supposed
to bring a date.

[Tate] Well, she
went home to help

her pop. We went
to an early movie.

[hostess] Well,
okay. But I hope

you're not looking for trouble.

I got all the trouble
I can handle under

the hood of that
crummy Olds Special.

Is there, uh,
somewhere I can wash

up? Sure. Right
through that door.

Thanks.
♪ [stops]

What a house.

[knocking on door] Anyone in there?

Uh, uh--
[in high voice] I am.

[screaming]

- Anything wrong in there?
- [sputters]

[screaming]

[continues screaming]
Gidget!

What are you doing?
[footsteps sloshing]

I'm taking a shower!
With your clothes on?

Well, we all have
our little peculiarities.

Wh-What happened
to your father? You

said you had--
Yeah, I know. But--

Things just didn't work
out like I planned it.

Well, I'm sorry. I--
I'll make it up to you.

You still wanna take me
to the Founders' Day dance?

Oh, well, sure. Didn't
I ask you? It's a date.

Gidget! Look at that.
[boy] She's all wet.

You have your car?
You're all wet.

How can you tell?
Wild guess.

Come on!
I'm not finished eating yet.

It's an emergency. I'll
feed you at my house.

Uh, I had a little accident.
I have to go home.

Well, I-I'll take you.
Oh, no. That's all right.

Uh, scratch tonight.
I'll make it up to you.

How about next Saturday night,

starting early?
Saturday-- B-But I--

Is it a date? Yeah, I guess
so. I'll bring gardenias.

Fine. What happened?
Do you have to leave?

Yeah, and so does
your towel. I'll get

it back to you.
Thanks for the party.

It was wild. The food
too. I hate to leave it.

Gardenias?

The Founders' Day dance.
It's in two weeks, isn't it?

Well, if this were last Saturday
night, it'd be in two weeks.

You mean it's--
Next Saturday.

Holy crutch.
I did it again.

[sighs] The best you can
do is head for the border.

When those two apes
compare notes--

They never talk.
They just fight.

That's a point in my favor. Not

with you in the
middle, it isn't.

Oh, don't say that.
I can't stand the

sight of blood,
especially my own.

Are you home for good
or just taking a breather?

I may never leave this house
again. How are the tests coming?

Oh, with your help, just fine.
[chuckles]

Well, I've been a little busy
this evening. So I gathered.

And that's nothing compared
to what she's gonna be.

Well, I don't feel
that I should interfere,

but do you think it's smart to
date two boys the same night?

I'll level with you, Dad.
I did think it was smart.

But then again, I
also think I've been

short-changed in
the brain department.

If only Jeff was
here-- Life would

be so sweet and uncomplicated.

Well, if that's all
you need, prepare

for a sweet, uncomplicated life.

This telegram
was phoned in an hour ago.

His grandparents' golden
anniversary next week--

He's flying in. "Best of all,
what we spoke about when I left:

I'll be taking you
to the Founders' Day dance."

Forget the border.
Just take the pipe.

What's the matter, life not
sweet and uncomplicated?

Dad, before this,
life was impossible.

- Now it's-- it's--
- Ridiculous.

I already had two dates
for that dance.

Such popularity. What's
your secret weapon?

Stupidity.

Listen to me.
I think Jeff saved your neck.

You can't shake one Cook
for the other, but...

here comes Jeff,
and that's something else.

Hey, that's good thinking.

And Jeff is their ex-captain--
old teammates, buddy-boys.

Well, they wouldn't
mind letting Jeff

take me. It would
be a privilege.

Guys just love
their old team captain.

Sure, that louse? I
owe him a solid belt

in the teeth. Jeff?
Your old team captain?

Yeah, my old team captain.

Why, he benched me through half
of the big game last year...

on a couple of little
penalties for roughness.

Why? Is there somethin'
you wanted to know? Yeah.

When's the next moon shot?

And then he didn't want me
for captain this year.

Well, that's okay. I don't hold
any grudges. Why do you ask?

Well, I-- I think he's coming
in for the dance this Saturday.

So... let him come

As long as he stays away from
me-- well, you and me, right?

Right. What's the matter,
Gidget? You don't look so good.

I don't feel so good. Hey,
maybe you're catchin' the flu.

Oh, no. I couldn't
be that lucky.

But I'll give it
every chance.

[Gidget narrating] When fate is

growling, you can't
make a right move.

If you want to be well,
you'll be sick.

[whimpering] If you want
to be sick, you'll be well.

But I figured that a human
body can just take so much,

and there's nothing fate can do about that.
[shuddering]

[yelps]

Gidget?

What in heaven's name are you
doing? Just cooling myself off.

Your teeth are chattering.
Well, I guess I'm getting there.

Have you lost your senses? Turn
off that hose and come inside.

Trying to do,
catch a cold?

You are trying
to catch a cold.

I know what's
troubling you, but do you

honestly think
this is the solution?

And besides hurting
yourself physically,

it's the worse thing you could
do to yourself psychologically.

Give me--
[sputtering]

Worse than getting
caught in a three-way

cross fire? You haven't
been wounded yet.

Why wait till the last minute?

This is not
self-destruction week,

so get upstairs and into some warm clothes.
[shivering]

Look, put your fears
aside and let your

mind go to work. You'll
think of something.

Yeah. And it'll probably be the

finish of me. All
you can do is try.

[Gidget narrating] Fate. I don't

even feel the
beginning of a sneeze.

[shivering] I bet if I didn't
want to be sick, I'd catch cold

brushing my teeth.

Fate. You can't
beat it. The best

you can hope
for is to outrace it.

That's it!

Wow!

Hey, that is really stokey.

But I'll be wearing
a party dress.

So? Pull it up.

- Okay. How much?
- Oh,11 bucks.

Eleven?

Well, Saturday
night is overtime.

If I have to buzz you back home
three times from Lincoln Hall,

my whole night is shot.

It's only twice. I
come with the first

date and only go back
for the second two.

- Same difference. Eleven bucks.
- All right, you crook.

If you're gonna charge
for the whole night,

you're gonna sit out
there the whole night.

I may feel like
driving around the

block about midnight. Suits me.

Fine. See you tomorrow night,
8:30 sharp.

Hey.
Payment in advance.

I thought your type went out
with black mustaches.

And if time and space
can be squeezed

a little, I think
I can swing it.

It's fabulous.
You're practically

in the group with
Albert Einstein.

You mean Rube Goldberg.

You know, it seems to me only a

real coward would
take this route.

I think I oughta blow this whole
jazzy scheme. Why don't you?

'Cause I'm a real
coward. But a smart one.

Aw, what's so smart?

I've been waiting for Jeff
to come home for ages,

and now look at the pickle
I've gotten myself into.

That phone should ring
in about 30 seconds.

It should? Mm-hmm. Jeff's
plane landed about an hour ago.

Take some time to get
from the airport to his house,

a little time with his family and--
[rings]

Hello?
Jeff!

I've just been sitting on the
phone counting the minutes.

Guess you're better
than Einstein.

When can I see you?

I didn't get in till
about half an hour ago.

The anniversary
dinner's just starting, so

I guess I won't get
to see you till tonight.

Jeff, I-I'm so excited
that you're here,

I'm practically having
a nervous breakdown.

- Still my steady girl?
- Steady?

I'm as steady as a battleship,

even if there is a little
squall every now and then.

Jeff, I-- I sure wish
you were here all the time.

Well, so do I, Gidget--
to be with you anyway.

Well, a little's better
than nothing.

Yeah, I'm looking forward
anxiously to tonight.

I'm anxious too.

So, till then, Jeff.

Oh, uh, Jeff?

Jeff, um, the dance
starts at 8:30,

so be here by 8:15
at the very latest.

Well, it's just that, um,

I don't want to miss one minute
of the dance. Not one minute.

Yeah.
Catch you later.

[chuckles] So long.

You're a credit to
American female ingenuity.

I'm proposing a
statue for the girls'

- locker room.
- [Russ] Figure somethin' out?

Jeff picks her up at 8:15,
Tate picks her up at 8:40,

and Corky picks her up
at 9:00.

Between times,
she pony expresses

back here on Jimmy
Speer's motorcycle.

She's a genius.

Yeah.
And at the dance?

I circulate. Why,
don't you think it'll work?

If the Lord is on your side,
all things are possible.

[sighs] Lately, he
seems to be avoiding me.

Yeah. Me too. I got drafted this

morning onto the
welcoming committee.

How is that
for tragic irony?

She's being brought
to the dance three

times, and I'm not even
being brought once.

The welcoming committee.

The welcoming
committee! Hallelujah!

I'm saved. I'm saved. I'm saved!

You're drafted off the welcoming
committee. I'm drafted on.

Nobody has to take
me to the dance.

I'm already there-- welcoming.

And when they show up here,
Dad gives them the word,

and they all come to the dance
nice and separate.

And I'm back in business--
no blood, no sweat, no tears.

Man, oh, man,
I'm back on the sunny side!

♪ [rock]

♪ [continues]

[no Audible dialogue Gidget

Narrating] The way
I had things timed,

I figured I was
out of rough water.

First, Jeff would arrive.

[other girls greeting]

[continues narrating] But if
there's anything...

about human beings
you can rely on,

it's that you can't
rely on them.

Hi, Corky.
Thank you. They're beautiful.

How 'bout a dance?
I'm busy.

Well, wh-when?
Well, keep in touch.

[Gidget narrating] My schedule

said that Tate
would arrive next,

which was no time
to be dancing with Corky.

So I pushed that problem
aside temporarily.

Bye.

Oh, I just love gardenias.
[chuckles]

Oh.
Hello, Gidget.

Hi, Jeff.
Uh, let's go.

♪ [continues]

Excuse me.
Pardon me.

[clears throat, chuckles]
Away from the crowd.

Gee, Jeff,
you look wonderful--

Just like a Princeton man.

Anyone could tell.

And you haven't
changed a bit, Gidget.

You're as-- as perky
and cute as ever.

Oh, for you.
Oh.

Thank you.
It's beautiful, Jeff.

I can't tell you how
many times I think of you.

Yeah, I, uh, know what you mean.

I have your picture
on my dresser.

I could give you a
new one. Oh, fine.

I'll put it next to the old one.

That's at the beach
with your surfboard.

I know. Well, look, I don't want
to keep you from your chore,

but you don't have to do
this much longer, do you?

Oh, no. Good, then
let's get it over with, huh?

[Gidget narrating] I found out
you can't wear three corsages...

separately and at the same time
unless you have three chests.

But that was the least
of my problems.

The dance was in full bloom.

The welcoming committee
was out of business.

[no Audible dialogue] I had to
give the first dance to my date.

And he-- I mean they--
I mean all of them--

Were getting impatient.

I had Larue
rounding up retreads.

And to paraphrase
a great American,

you can welcome some of
the people some of the time...

and some of the people
all of the time,

but you can't welcome all
of the people all of the time.

There aren't any.
[sighs] Disaster city.

What happens now?
I split like an atom.

Into three parts? What else?
[chuckles]

♪ [continues]

[Gidget narrating] How
could I keep this up all night?

There was only one
possible answer: I couldn't.

Oh, I'm beat. But
not beaten. Not

yet. You've earned your stripes.

Why don't you say
you're not feeling

well, ask them to take you home?

Yeah. I thought
of that, too, but

I'll have to go
home three times.

Oh, that's right.

I've still got Jimmy Speer and
his cycle. He's waiting outside.

Tell him to go to my
house and wait for me

in, a dark place. How
can you get out of here?

Well, I sent Tate to
the gym, and Corky

should be waiting out
in front of the library.

What about Jeff?
[sighs] Jeff's still here.

He'll be the last one. I've just
gotta spend some time with Jeff.

[out of breath] Well, Gung ho.

[Gidget narrating] I felt
phony as a drugstore diamond,

and, for a moment, my pride
pushed me to tell all.

Fortunately,
the moment passed.

[engine rumbling, sputtering, stops]

[motorcycle approaching]

[no Audible dialogue]

Hey!

[tires screech]

You are the weirdest thing
the Cooks ever produced,

and that includes
plenty of weirdos.

Never mind that jazz. What
were you doing with Gidget?

Bringing her home. What's it to

you? My date you're
bringing home?

Oh, man, you get
weirder and weirder. How

could she be your
date if she was my date?

There's more than one
kooky Cook in this family.

How could she be your--
[motorcycle approaching]

That was Gidget. Heading
back toward Lincoln Hall.

How do you know? Well, I-I
think it's some kind of plot.

She's emptying out the joint
one guy at a time.

♪ [slow]

Why does Princeton
have to be in New Jersey?

Well, maybe it's a good thing.
Distance lends enchantment.

Oh, no. When
you're here, life is

a bowl of cream.
[both chuckle]

♪ [ends]
[applause]

[man] And now the
traditional Founders' Day waltz.

Find your own escorts, please.
[Jeff] What do you guys want?

[Tate] Well, this is the
Founders' Day waltz, isn't it?

Yeah, that's right.
So find your dates.

We found her.
You found who?

Our date.

[stammering]

Do you want me to
wait here, or go on

back to Lincoln
Hall? Well, go home.

Hey, I'm also
available weekdays.

I'll make you a better deal.

[groans]

[engine revs]

[Gidget narrating] I was
through, washed up, finished.

That look on Jeff's face--

What's worse than a two-timer,
except a three-timer.

I'd never see him again--
never see anyone again.

I'd move to a different town,
leave my reputation behind.

Maybe I'd become a
social worker, caring

for women who'd
fallen by the wayside.

Somehow I fail to detect
the sweet smell of success.

Oh, it can't be
all that bad.

I was dancing
with Jeff, and then--

And then suddenly
total disaster,

public exposure,
disgrace.

That's too bad, but you must've

been prepared
for that possibility.

I had everything
under control.

I just can't figure
out what happened.

What happened was simple.

You tried to walk
a crooked mile,

and you didn't
make the distance.

Yeah. Few people do.

I think it's better in the long
run you didn't get away with it.

How can you say that?
Now I've lost Jeff forever.

He thinks I'm the biggest liar and cheat of the year.
[sighs]

But what else could I do? I was

stuck before I
even got his wire.

How could I ever tell
him? Oh, easy. Just tell me.

Look, I don't
dig it, Gidget.

You think I expected
you to resign from

the human race
when I left for school?

Look, we had an understanding.

I-- I figured you'd be going to
parties and dating and dances.

What's the problem?

Well, I was thinking about you
so much, Jeff, all the time.

I wanted you to know
it. Now how could

you know it if I
said, "I'm sorry, Jeff.

I can't go to the dance with
you. I already have two dates"?

But I would've known. Wh-Why did
I follow you home? I do know.

Oh, Jeff, all I wanted tonight
was for us to be alone.

But fate was against
me, and you can't

beat fate. No, the
lucky ones can.

You did. Me?
I'm fate's football.

Look what happened, when
all I wanted was for us to be--

Alone.
I know.

[chuckles] Sometime
my brain goes

AWOL. Ah, Just a big dope, huh?

But I don't mind,
long as I stay lucky.

[Gidget narrating] Well, Jeff flew

back to school and life went on,

but not as usual.

Something radical had happened.

Something inside
had clicked over.

Boys no longer interested me.
Books were all I cared about.

Jeff was the man--
the only man.

All others were mere
faces in the crowd--

Units, digits,
indistinguishable blobs.

Ooh!
I'm sorry.

Please. That's okay. Thanks.

Aren't you in my biology lab?
I really don't know.

I don't pay much
attention to the

other students,
especially the males.

Uh, what's your name?
Frances Lawrence.

Sure. That's right.
They call you Gidget.

Gidget, have you got a
telephone at home? Naturally.

Uh, why don't you
give me your number?

Maybe we can fix
up a date sometime.

There's really no
point. In the first place,

I don't date. And in
the second place--

The number's in the book.