All language subtitles for Gidget.S01E08.Image.Scrimmage.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

[Gidget narrating] I have an absolute

ironclad rule about
no blind dates,

but rules are made
to be broken.

Believe it or not,
he was Larue's first cousin.

He was from out of town
and also out of this world.

At least
it seemed that way until--

Five regular...

and one junior.

♪ [jazzy pop]

♪ If you're in doubt
about angels ♪

♪ Being real

♪ I can arrange to change

♪ Any doubts you feel

♪ Wait till you see
my Gidget ♪

♪ You'll want her
for your valentine ♪

♪ You're gonna say
she's all that you adore ♪

♪ But stay away
Gidget is spoken for ♪

♪ You're gonna find
that Gidget is ♪

♪ Mine ♪

[Gidget narrating] When your father is

only the best-looking
English professor

at UCLA,

you've gotta be prepared for at

least one coed
crush per semester.

Hi. Oh, hi. Oh, hello, Gidget.

[Gidget narrating] I get a kick

out of it usually, but, tonight,

I'm in no mood
to be gushed over.

Keep up the good work.
Oh, I will. I really will.

Hello, Gidget.

Sometimes
it's not too bad a deal.

Like the one that
was such a good

knitter-- sweaters,
socks, you name it.

I bet I've got the
only hand-knit

tennis racket cover
on the West Coast.

This one bakes.

I don't know how
Cary Grant and I stand it.

No more blind
dates if you live to be

125 and the phone
never rings again.

126.
Seemed like a nice boy.

Nice?

The Grand Canyon is cute.
The Mona Lisa is sweet.

World War II was noisy.
Nice?

So?

So-- So he's a smooth,
sophisticated New Yorker,

and I'm me.

Let's talk
about something else.

All right.
How are the cookies?

Boy, she's really
got it bad. There must

be a pound of butter
in each one of them.

Mary's a nice youngster.
Don't say "youngster."

Fine, but there is
quite a difference

in age. And don't say "age."

Would you like
to write me out a list?

[sighs] He bought
me a junior ticket.

[quietly] Oh.

That doesn't mean
he doesn't like you.

Daddy, he's used to glamorous,
sophisticated New York girls.

To him,
I'm a baked squash.

[Gidget narrating] I am certainly

not the type to
ever chase a boy,

but I have absolutely
nothing against

giving fate a
little helping hand.

Roger is her cousin,
and sometimes

being in the right place...

at the right time--

If I get an asthma
attack, I'm gonna call

and wheeze at you in
the middle of the night.

Shh.

Okay, now. Saunter.

♪ [whistling]

[Gidget] Oh, hi, Roger.

Oh, hi, Roger. Gee, we
didn't expect to run into you.

We were just on our way
to the Budget Fudgery.

It's the in hangout.

The in hangout. Right. Everybody
goes there after school.

Well, it sounds like fun.
Have a good time.

You feel like going anyway?
No.

Well, what do you feel like?
Like a baked squash.

Honestly, you don't
have to babysit with me.

I'm not gonna do anything
desperate. He's just a guy.

Take away the broad shoulders
and the moss-green eyes...

and the great personality,
and what have you got?

I don't care.
I'll take him.

- There's only one thing to do.
- What?

Eat. Overcompensate for
those feelings of rejection,

as my darling brother-in-law
would say.

Hey, a treasure hunt!
Huh?

Daddy. It's a surprise.

"The race is to
the swift, I hear.

In this case, that's erroneous.

"But if to the bard
you've lent an

ear, like Laertes
to Papa Polonius,

"you'll profit well
from this first clue.

Remember, pet"--
Dash, dash, dash, dash.

- That's the surprise?
- It's a clue.

The bard--
That's Shakespeare.

"Lend an ear like Laertes
to Papa Polonius."

What did Polonius say?

"You'll profit well
from this first clue.

Remember, pet"--

To thine own self be true.
I got it!

That's the surprise?
To thine own self be true.

Be me. Okay, so I'm
me. I come home from

school and I go
to the refrigerator.

Be me. Just go make
a sandwich like always.

Voilà!

"Man cannot live by bread alone.

Nor can you, my
darling daughter.

"Yet ambition led
to that guilty groan...

"from the spouse
of the Thane of Cawdor.

"Tho' 'twas she that
hatched the fearful plot,

she pleaded later"--

The Thane of Cawdor
is Macbeth. Lady Macbeth!

- Yeah?
- Don't you get it?

Tho' 'twas she that
hatched the fearful

plot, she pleaded later,
"Out, damned spot."

Oh! I don't get it.

Let me see.
Spots, spots.

Spot removers,
cleaning fl--

Cleaners!

"By getting here, you
passed the course.

For your reward,
go to the source."

The source?
Come on!

Where are you going?

The source--
William Shakespeare.

Open it! Open it!

And destroy all this
beautiful suspense?

Gidget, I gotta go home
and do my eye exercises.

- Lacy's Beverly!
- Wow!

- The gown department!
- A formal.

A formal!

A silken gown cut
with the deceptive

nonchalance of one
of our top designers,

clinging gently
to every curve.

Can the commercial.
Open the box already.

Pink organdy
with puff sleeves.

Well, it's... long.

So are rompers.

[Gidget narrating] How would you feel

if somebody bought
you a junior ticket?

Then you got a
surprise like that.

Guaranteed to be the smash...

of the kindergarten jubilee.

But what can you do? You can't
kick a gift horse in the teeth,

especially if the horse
happens to be your father,

and double especially
if he meant so well.

[Russ] Gidget, I'm home!
[sniffles, catches breath]

So you'll say thank
you, and you'll

wear it to all the
dances this year.

And you just won't
take your coat off.

[Russ] Honey? Coming!

[sniffling, snorting]

[groans] Hi, Daddy.

Don't ask me what kind
of a day I had.

I might just tell
you and destroy any

thoughts you might
be entertaining...

about entering
the teaching profession.

- That bad?
- That bad.

If I had the strength,
I'd ask about those glasses.

Oh, um,
it's an experiment.

I'll buy that, which
on a teacher's

salary is a magnificent gesture.

- I wanna thank you--
- Forget it.

Oh, I mean
for the surprise.

- Do you like it?
- I just love surprises,

and you're the best clue
writer in the whole world.

You should've seen Larue's face.

When she saw the dress?

When I read the clues.
Really. She was so funny.

[doorbell rings]

I'll get it.

If it's Professor Krasne,
tell him I moved.

Hello, Gidget.

What's the matter
with your eyes?

What's the matter with yours?

Ohh! Oh, I always wear these for
reading. Is your father home?

Well, he's awfully tired. I--

Who is it?

It's me.

Oh.
[chuckles]

Well, Mary, I--
I didn't recognize you.

I hate to bother you,
especially when you're so tired.

I'm all right.

Now, I'm only gonna
stay a minute. Really.

I just came to borrow a book--
Oh, if I may?

The one that you mentioned
the other night.

Communication: The Social
Matrix of Contemporary Culture.

[Russ] That's heavy going.

Well, you'll be
able to help me.

I simply must
improve my mind.

Well, if you feel
you must improve

your mind that
much all at once--

Oh, I do. I really do.

Excuse me. I'll get it for you.

I think deep thinking
tends to mature one.

Where were you,
at a charity luncheon?

There is a time to say adieu
to capris and tennis shoes.

Only if your tennis shoes
speak French.

Touché.

How is school, dear?
Yummy.

I graduated sandbox
last week, and, soon,

maybe they're gonna
let me finger-paint.

Here you are.

Communication: The Social
Matrix of Contemporary Culture.

Gay. Have a wonderful
evening. Fair exchange.

Thank you. Now, I'm going to let

you get some
well-deserved rest...

and have your dinner.

These are your favorites.

What a dingbat.

Thank you for the
book, Professor

Lawrence. Thanks
for the cookies.

Bye-bye.

"I'm gonna let you
get some well-deserved rest."

Well, Mary is
a very sensible young woman.

Young woman? Two days ago,
she was a nice "youngster."

Honestly, you men. Somebody
puts on some sensible shoes,

so right away, she's a
"sensible young woman."

Well, it's like if I put on--
[bell dings]

Well, maybe
clothes make the woman...

the same as
they make the man.

Now, Mary is--

Gidget? Gidget?

Oh, forget Mary.
Listen, Dad.

Would you say
you're the King Lear type?

Would you try that again?

"How sharper than
a serpent's tooth

it is to have a
thankless child."

The dress?

The dress. It's very cute, but--

Annie usually has such
good taste in these things.

Big sister Annie
picked it out?

Yeah.

Then you wouldn't be absolutely
crushed flat if I exchanged it?

No. I bought it to cheer you
up. For any dress that I picked?

You're the one that has
to wear it. carte Blanche?

Because I have a plan.
carte Blanche.

[shrieks]

What sort of plan?
he inquired with trepidation.

It's called "how to
'unbake' a baked squash."

[Gidget narrating] I had to hand

it to that little
old cookie cutter.

When I saw her
snow solid old dad

with a simple
change of wardrobe,

that gave me the whole idea.

I had to bust Roger
loose from that

"baked squash"
picture he had of me,

and it was gonna
take some doing.

I had to rock him
right through the

ceiling with glamour
and sophistication.

And that you don't do
in pink organdy.

[phone rings]

[sophisticated accent]
Hello, darling.

[drops accent] What'd he say?

He said no.

Oh, come on,
Larue. Just no? Just

like that? No? He's your cousin.

Okay. Quote: "I can't come
over, kid. I'm busy." Unquote.

Then how's he gonna get
to see me in the new dress?

How 'bout sending a picture?

Now, listen, Larue.
He's your cousin.

You get him over to your house.

- He won't come. He's busy.
- Busy with what?

He's with the guys.
They're planning

some kind of party or other.

Party? When is it?
Who's invited?

How should I know?

Well, go over
there and find out.

Gidget, I'm
doing my eye exercises.

So do them over there--
you don't use weights--

And call me back.
I won't budge.

[Gidget narrating] I guess
it's some kind of a sin

to say that your best friend
is dense,

but there are times when I think
it's more than Larue's eyes that

need exercise;
it's her head!

[phone rings]

Hello? Larue?
Hello? Hello?

Shh!
Who is this?

Stop yelling.
It's me, Larue.

Larue, there's something wrong
with the phone.

I'm in my aunt's utility closet.

You'll have to holler.

I can't.
Roger's in the next room.

You're at Roger's house?
They're planning a kidnap party.

But a kidnap party
is perfect.

I can just happen
to be having my hem

pinned up when they
come over to snatch me.

If they come over to
snatch me. Am I on the list?

- I don't know.
- Well, go find out.

The thing is this: They have a

tentative list
and a definite list.

Yeah?
Oh.

You're definitely on the
tentative list. Yea. Sort of.

You're off the
tentative list. Oh, no!

Of course, if I'm
off the tentative list,

it could mean I'm on the
definite list.

So go glom on to
the definite list. Geez.

Here.

[Gidget narrating] Trust loyal friend Larue

not to be able to find the
definite list.

But I decided to go ahead
like everything was all set.

Saturday, we gave ourselves the
works, starting with facials.

[stiffly] How long
does this guck stay on?

[stiffly] Till it hardens completely.

My face feels like the sidewalk
in front of Grauman's Chinese.

[Gidget narrating] We gave each other pedicures.

And for the pièce
de résistance, we

tried something I
saw in Teenager.

Daddy hadn't seen
the new dress yet, and

even though he had
given me carte Blanche,

I figured I'd spring it
kind of slow.

My robe? I thought
you were going to a party.

I think I am.
I mean, it's a kidnap party,

and they come and snatch you
in whatever you're wearing.

You're gonna be snatched
in that?

I sort of wanted to unveil
the new dress for you.

It's a tiny bit spectacular.

A, uh, dress is under--
'cause it's a tiny bit--

I'm ready.

Yes. That's, um--
It's certainly a...

tiny bit spectacular.

I don't look too sophisticated?

Not too.

For regular wear,
I guess I could

tone it down a little.
Maybe a shave.

[doorbell rings]

Hi!
What's the matter with you?

Well, look who's here.
Who's minding the couch?

Hello, Gidget. How are you?

You're the
psychologist. You tell me.

What are you wearing?
A robe.

[Anne] Well, we
were just on our way

to a lecture, but
John would like...

to see the dress I picked out
for you, wouldn't you, John?

If Gidget wants to show it to
me,

I'd certainly be interested
in sharing the experience.

Uh, has it come back
from the cleaners yet?

Not exactly.

Would someone
like to explain how

a dress can be
"not exactly" back?

[doorbell rings] The bell.

I spent the whole afternoon
trying to find a dress for her.

Yes, Well, come on in the
study and tell me about it.

John, what lecture
were you going to?

[John] It's part two
of the symposium

on the new
psychological frontiers--

[trails off]

Well, it's about--

What are you doing
in a formal?

We can say we're putting up
each other's hems.

There's no reason why I can't
look sophisticated too.

Now it'll look like a setup,
like we knew.

I don't want him to
think I did all this for him.

Why not?

Because I happen to be
playing hard to get.

[gasps] So that's
what you were hiding!

I knew it. You
exchanged the lovely

dress I picked out for that--

That garish monstrosity.

[Russ] Please.
A little respect

for our feathered friends...

who sacrificed themselves
in order to produce this--

Go ahead. Make
jokes. I don't blame

her. You're much too permissive.

- Tell him, John.
- You're much too permissive.

At least it's not
an inherited tendency.

Daddy didn't even
know about the dress.

[Anne] That's even worse.

Oh, Daddy, a teenage girl
needs supervision.

Look, could we
discuss this some other

time? I admit
everything you say.

I'm a senile delinquent.
[knocking]

Mary.
They're called love dreams.

Coconut.
They're your favorite.

I-I didn't know
you had company.

I think I left my earrings
on the couch the other night.

Oh, I have this terrible habit
of taking things off.

Jewelry, I mean.

She has this habit
of forgetting.

Just earrings.

Oh.

There seem to be
a lot of convenient

lapses of memory around here.

Yes, yes. That's very true.

As a matter of fact, I've
just forgotten my manners.

- Good night.
- But--

Good night.
Well!

You know, Russell--
[muffled]

What time is it?
Half past kidnap time.

I just feel sorry about
you. Oh, forget it.

No, really. If
you'd stayed home,

they'd have
kidnapped you, right?

I said my aunt
would kill him if he

didn't. I guess he
preferred death.

You knew, didn't you?
Knew what?

That I-- I wasn't on
the list. No. Honestly.

Oh, I could scalp him!

So, he just doesn't
dig baked squash,

even with feathers.

[knocking Russ] Hey,

Gidget, how 'bout
some breakfast?

No, thank you.

Daddy!

Get your things on.
You are being kidnapped.

By me. I hereby kidnap you to go

fishing with me off
Santa Monica Pier.

How 'bout it?
Will you?

Listen. A kidnap
is a kidnap. Attagirl.

Let's go
before they're all caught!

- [shrieks]
- [Roger]

Consider yourself kidnapped.

Oh, no. We
changed it to a kidnap

picnic when we discovered...

that there was a spy
in our midst.

What happened to you?
I slept late.

Frankly, I don't know
if I can make it.

You sure I'm
sophisticated enough for

a picnic? The junior
ticket. Remember?

Oh! Well, that's a game we
played back in New York. A game?

Yeah. "Beat the box office."

Oh, no, no.
Come on. Let's go.

Gee, Dad. I-- Go on. I
waive my kidnapping rights.

Thanks, Dad.
toodles!

- Hi, everybody!
- [boy] Hey, come on! Let's go!

[Gidget] Happy fishing,
and watch out for mermaids!