All language subtitles for Gidget.S01E07.Gidget.is.a.Proper.Noun.1080p.BluRay.FLAC2.0.H.264-BTN_track4_[eng]

[chattering]

Through this door
passes the most

miserable girl in the
world-- me, Gidget.

And all because
of having to take a

miserable foreign
language-- English.

[chattering]

[murmurs]

[Gidget narrating] There he is, the enemy,

otherwise known as my English
teacher, Mr. Donald Hardy.

More commonly known as
"Hardy-Har-Har." Frances.

Of course,
he's not really antique.

He just drinks an
awful lot of whatever

beverage they make
for those who think old.

Miss Lawrence,

I'm talking to you.

Yes, sir.

If it's not disturbing
you too much,

would you give the class the

definition of a
dangling participle?

Well,

a dangling participle--

Um, it's, uh,

when your sentence
had a leftover verb form,

sort of like--
like hanging ten?

That's not quite the
definition I would expect...

from Professor Lawrence's
daughter.

I suggest, for extra homework
tonight, you read...

the section in our book
on dangling participles...

and do the exercises
on page 123.

"Hanging ten."

♪ [jazzy pop]

♪ If you're in doubt
about angels ♪

♪ Being real

♪ I can arrange to change

♪ Any doubts you feel

♪ Wait till you see
my Gidget ♪

♪ You'll want her
for your valentine ♪

♪ You're gonna say
she's all that you adore ♪

♪ But stay away
Gidget is spoken for ♪

♪ You're gonna find
that Gidget is ♪

♪ Mine ♪

[Gidget narrating] This is
Professor Russell Lawrence,

B.A., M.A., Ph.D...

and D-A-D.

He teaches English
at UCLA,

and he's mildly
sensational at it.

That's the reason
old Hardy-Har-Har...

is so disappointed in me.

He'll never let me live down not

being able to live
up to my father.

- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi, Dad.

Why couldn't you have been
a chemistry professor?

I'd probably blow up
the school.

I know one classroom
I'd never miss.

Sounds ominous. More
trouble with your mother tongue?

Behaves more like a
second cousin, once removed.

You're blicking the hand
that feeds us.

I know.
It isn't any attitude,

quote-- for an English
professor's daughter-- unquote.

I gather your
source of reference

is my former student,
Donald Hardy.

He says you're only the all-time
bossest teacher he ever had.

Don Hardy said that?
Wonder how I ever passed him?

Well, the words may be mine, but the music's his.
[door opens]

- [Anne] Anybody home?
- We already gave!

Well, I hope you
haven't already eaten,

because we'd like you and
Dad to join us out for dinner.

You guys take Dad and run along.
I've got a pile of homework.

Just bring me back a Bowser bag.

Down, girl!

The three-letter word for
a unit of energy is "erg."

I hope I have enough ergs to get
through my English assignment.

How are you doing
in English?

Well, I'm not
shooting the curl,

but I'm not exactly
wiping out either.

Oh, Gidge.

When you talk like that, you

ought to at least
have subtitles.

Translation:
she's not doing "A" work,

but she's not exactly
failing either.

Surfing spoken here.

You know, I was always at
the top of my class in English.

Like father, like daughter.

Gidget's troubles
in English stem

from latent
psychological reasons.

There's a deep-seated
hostility factor here.

Oh, come on.
I'm starved.

Gidget, you're sure you
don't want to come along?

Mmm, thanks a bunch,
but I'll dine here...

on cold chicken and
leftover dangling participles.

Okay.
Come on, Dad.

Don't press it too hard,
sweetie. And do me a favor.

Forget you're an
English professor's

daughter, huh?
[groans]

Remember, Frances, you're
an English professor's daughter.

I hope that this
time you'll turn in

a paper worthy
of that relationship.

We're riding the same wave,
Mr. Hardy.

[Hardy] We will call this

assignment "Outdoor
Observations,"

because what I'm after is a

composition of
descriptive detail--

An outdoor setting as seen and
appreciated by the inner you.

Now none of this
business of "I went and

stood on the sand and
looked at the water."

But rather
something like this.

"The waves came in,
majestic and sonorous,

"spreading out over the
golden sands of the beach,

"festooning them
with wreaths of foam.

"The lofty black,
eroded walls, shutting

in the beach with
their semi-circle,

threw a melancholy
silence upon it."

There you have one author's
outdoor observations.

I'll be looking forward
to seeing yours.

[bell rings]

Did you ever hear anything
so utterly flowery?

I'll bet he has to water
the book every day.

[thinking] Actually, I shouldn't

be doing my
homework on the beach.

I used to do my math
here, and then one day I

thought a speck of
sand was a decimal point,

and I goofed up all that
compound interest.

"Outdoor Observations"
by Frances Lawrence.

The sea was an unbroken
expanse of blue.

Peace and solitude
covered the beach like a--

Ugh!
Cut it out!

Can't you see I'm trying
to do my homework?

At the beach? What do you wanna
do, give surfers a bad name?

Yeah. Come on, Jason. Come on.

Well, I've been all
up and down the beach.

Make any observations?
Uh-huh.

Shirley Scoville
is here with Rick Carter.

And Don and Charlotte aren't
going steady anymore. Oh.

I didn't make
much progress either.

Maybe I'll just hand in
a blank piece of paper...

and tell him it was too cold
to go outdoors to observe.

That's not what
old Hardy-Har-Har...

expects from
Professor Lawrence's daughter.

[Gidget narrating] I always say,

the only good thing
about success...

is that it keeps you
from being a failure.

This a private daydream,
or can anyone intrude?

I'm just doing my homework.

I didn't realize you were
majoring in ceiling watching.

I'm writing a composition...

on outdoor observations.

Hardy only wants a
masterpiece,

stuffed with adjectives
and similes and junk.

How can you laugh at something
so utterly tragic?

Because somewhere in my files
is a composition labeled...

"Outdoor Observations"
by Russell Lawrence,

full of adjectives
and similes and junk.

Baby, outdoor
observations was assigned

to me when I went to
school 30 years ago.

I've been assigning it
to all my classes ever since.

The topic's so old,
it's got whiskers.

Well, by the time I
come up with something

to write, I may
have whiskers too.

You'd better hurry up before
you ruin your whole social life.

Oh, Daddy, I can't write
what Hardy expects.

All you've got to do is look
through those pretty brown eyes

and put down
what you see.

Doesn't matter
what I write anyway.

He'll just say
it's not worthy of

Professor Lawrence's daughter...

and chalk up another "C."
Aw, come on, sweetie.

You know teachers go out of
their way not to be prejudiced.

Well,
Hardy is pre-prejudiced.

He makes up his mind beforehand
how he's gonna make up his mind.

It seems to me that
somebody else around

here is making up her
mind beforehand too.

Who, me?

Me.

You put down
what you see.

Good night, hon.

[Gidget narrating] Well, it was finished.

And so would I be
when I turned it in.

But I guess
we've all got to go sometime.

Hello, Larue? I'm calling
a summit conference.

Operation Hardy?
Right.

I'm going to prove
that old Hardy-Har-Har...

is very large in prejudice about
Professor Lawrence's daughter.

What do you think
about that? Not much.

You've positively flipped.
What if I was to hand in...

an absolutely genuine "A" paper
and he didn't give me an "A"?

Yes,
that would prove it.

Except for one teeny-weeny
detail. What's that?

How are you going to write
an "A" composition? I'm not.

I'm gonna copy one.
Gidget!

It's all right.
It's my father's.

And it's 30 years old.
And he got an "A" on it.

Gidget, that's
perjury! Plagiarism.

Well, whatever it is,
it's cheating.

Not if I turn myself in
afterwards.

When he gives me
a "C" and all that stuff

about Professor
Lawrence's daughter,

I'll just flaunt
the paper in his face.

Hardy-har-har,
old Hardy-Har-Har.

But the paper
which bugs you so much...

just happens
to have been written...

by none other than Professor
Lawrence's daughter's father.

Gidget, maybe you ought to tell
your father what you plan to do.

How can I prove to him
that Hardy's prejudiced...

if I give him the scoop
beforehand? You lost me.

What has that got to
do with it? He'd stop me.

I'm for that! Larue,
will you stop worrying?

You'll be gray before
you're 17. Okay.

I won't say another
word. But you

ought to hear what I'm thinking.

Look. "Outdoor Observations"
by Russell Lawrence.

"The saucy seagulls
were swooping

over the sparkling seascape,

skittering and scudding along
the stretches of silvery sand."

That's
positively mystical.

I didn't know your father could

write as soggy
as that. Correction.

You didn't know I could
write as soggy as that.

[Gidget narrating] Well,
the show was on the road.

I had copied over
Dad's "A" composition

and handed it in
under my own name.

Give Hardy-Har-Har enough rope

and he'll hang
himself out to dry.

Now that your papers
have all been properly

presented-- "papers
properly presented."

That reminds me
of something I hope

I won't run across
in your writing--

Overdone alliteration,
repetition of the same sound.

Uh, what do you
mean by, uh, overdone?

That's a good question.

You see, beginning
writers have a tendency,

especially in passages
of descriptive detail--

[thinking] It'll be
positively delicious...

watching that square root
of a lemon suffer and squirm.

But after I've psyched him out
real good, I'll forgive him.

Only from now
on, he'll treat me as

me, not Professor
Lawrence's daughter.

But me, Gidget-- girl avenger.

However, your
question may best be

answered by this
classic example.

"The saucy seagulls swooped
over the sparkling seascape,

skittering and scudding along
the stretches of silvery sand."

You were about to say
something, Frances?

I just wondered where you read
that sentence, Mr. Hardy?

When I was a student, a teacher
of mine related it to us.

As a matter of fact,
he was the one who wrote it.

And I guess we know who that
teacher was, don't we, Frances?

Gidget,
please don't do this.

But I can't get into any more
trouble than I'm already in.

Yes, you can. You
can drag me in with you.

All I'm going to
do is substitute the

paper I wrote for
the paper I handed in.

What if Mr. Hardy comes back?

Well, you stay out here and
whistle if you see him coming.

You know I can't whistle.
Will it be all right if I hum?

Just keep a lookout.

[squeals]

[coughs]

[coughing continues]

You ought to do
something about that

cough, Larue. Oh,
I will, Mr. Hardy!

Thank you, Mr. Hardy. Water--

You'll find some
right over there.

[coughs]

Well, Frances, I didn't
expect to find you here.

Neither did I,
Mr. Hardy.

Uh, I mean, I just came
up to look up a word.

Most commendable.
What word?

What word?
Oh, yes, what word.

Uh, xylophagous.

I need to look up
a new word every day.

That way, you end up with
a really insane vocabulary.

Yes.
You certainly do.

Well, uh, if you'll
excuse me, Frances,

I've a great deal of
reading to do. Well--

Uh, bye.

xylophagous.

- Whoo-hoo!
- [Russ] Whoo-hoo.

Hi, Dad.
Hi, sweetie.

Anne's here. Oh, good.
That makes my day complete.

Well, there's some
Linzer torte for dessert.

I'm not especially hungry.

Hey, come on. The world's
not coming to an end.

That's the only thing
that could save me now.

- That sounds serious enough.
- It's a total bust.

It's like building
a big, beautiful

sand castle and then, zap--

[books crash onto table]
the tide comes in.

Well, couldn't you just, zap--
start it all over again?

Oh, this castle wasn't
just wiped out, Dad.

It was declared a
disaster area. Can I help?

Laugh, and the world
laughs with you.

Cry, and...
your mascara runs.

No thanks, Dad.

I've involved you
enough already.

Well, baby, when you feel
you're ready to tell me--

I could never tell you,
not in a million years.

I copied your outdoor
observations composition...

and handed it in
as my own.

Gidget, you cheated?
I didn't cheat. I--

I just copied it.

Donald Hardy is sure
to recognize that composition.

I found that out.
That's when the tide came in.

Well, you mustn't
blame yourself too much.

I should have realized
old Hardy-Har-Har...

might be familiar
with one of Dad's papers.

What I mean is,
we've all been tempted

to cheat at one time or another.

Why, even I-- Well, with
a husband like John--

- Gidget.
- Okay.

But I didn't cheat.

Well, it does happen
in the best of families.

- Personally, I--
- Anne, didn't you

say you had
tickets to a concert?

- Well, yes, I
did, but-- I think

I hear the orchestra tuning up.

Just remember, dear,
I'm on your side.

Good-bye, Dad.
Bye, sweetie.

Bye, Gidge.

[door opens, closes]

You're angry with me,
aren't you?

No, but I'm disappointed
in you.

You don't believe me
either?

You, of all people!
I didn't say that.

I just said
you let me down.

Dad, I didn't cheat.

When I copied your paper,
I didn't do it to cheat.

I know that. But I have a pretty
good idea what you were up to.

And that's why
I'm disappointed.

I was waiting for Hardy to give
a bad mark to your composition.

Well, I thought it
would prove something.

What would that have proved?

Your fanciful notion
that Hardy is prejudiced?

Teachers work under
a great handicap, sweetie.

We're expected to
do a superhuman

job, but we're only human.

So we make mistakes.
I do. Don Hardy does.

But he's always
demanding more of

me just because
I'm your daughter.

All right, maybe he has put
too much pressure on you,

but that's very different
from prejudice.

And you're not
going to prove it to

him by trying to
teach him a lesson.

The only one that's learned
a lesson from this is you.

Don't I know it.

I tried to get the
composition back

before he read
it, but I couldn't.

All I could do
was leave the one I wrote.

- You did one of your own?
- Mm-hmm.

You told me to write
about something

I see, so I wrote about surfing.

You can imagine
how that'll grab him.

"This above all,
to thine own self be true."

Oh, Daddy,
what am I gonna do?

Hardy won't understand.
Nobody will.

I'll be branded
with a scarlet letter.

You know,
"C" for "cheater."

Dad, Hardy respects you.

Maybe you could--

No, I couldn't ask you.
Could I?

Gidge, I'll answer that
question with another.

You know what
a paradox is?

Uh, isn't it a statement that
kind of contradicts itself?

Mm-hmm.
That's right.

So maybe you'll understand
when I tell you that...

I love you so much, I'd do
anything in the world for you.

And because I do
love you that much, I

will not intercede
between you and Hardy.

I'll have to take
my medicine, huh?

And hope that Hardy dishes
it out with a small spoon.

[laughs] Oh, Dad.

Why can't the world ever be
the way you want it to be?

Because then little
girls would never

come to their fathers
for consolation.

Oh. Well--

Well, I imagine you can
all guess why we're here.

If I may be allowed an
indoor observation of my own,

you turned in some surprisingly
good outdoor observations.

There was even one I
considered to be excellent.

However,
on the minus side,

I was appalled to find one paper

which was not a
student's own work.

Frances, come up here
in front of the class, please.

[Gidget narrating] Just my luck

to have an English teacher...

who moonlights
as a public executioner.

Would you be so good as to read

that for the benefit
of the class?

You want me to read that?
You wrote it, didn't you?

Out loud?
Out very loud.

"'Outdoor Observations'
by Frances Lawrence.

"The day was a big one.

"A mild, off-shore breeze gently
tickled the glassy waves...

"that peaked up and rolled
evenly toward the beach.

"Like one perfect wave
breaking over and over.

"As I sat there watching, a
lonely surfer made the scene.

"He dropped his board into the

water, scudded
through the soup...

"and eased his way
out past the lineup.

"Almost immediately, he caught
a neat peeler with a left slide.

"Standing up, he angled swiftly
under the fast-forming hook,

"cutting a path diagonally
from the foaming crest,

"and zoomed in
for a real tough landing.

"It was a good ride--
those few moments

in the tube when
the soul tumbled free.

"I couldn't help
thinking that life is like

surfing and I'm like
that lonely surfer,

"longing for those
brief moments of freedom,

"hoping for the good ride,
waiting for the perfect set.

"So, I, too, must
go down to the sea

again, again and
again and again,

to watch the
lonely surfer and let

my heart ride tandem with him."

Ladies and gentlemen,
an "A" composition.

[bell rings]
[congratulatory chatter]

Gidge, that was
too much. That's the

best surfing thing
I've ever heard.

Thank you. Oh,
that was beautiful.

Gidge, that was
the absolute ultimate.

Well, I just lucked out.
That's all.

Um, listen. I'll meet you
at the car. See you later.

Okay. I've got
your books. Great.

Um, I wanna thank you
for the "A," Mr. Hardy.

Well, you deserved it, Frances.
It was a fine composition.

You also deserve this.

I don't suppose the "F"
stands for "fine."

[chuckles] No, I don't suppose.

You understand, it wasn't
because of the content,

but because I knew
you hadn't written it.

Would you mind telling me
why you did it?

I don't believe it was
an attempt to cheat.

No. I just--

Well, I wanted to
see how you'd grade

Russell Lawrence's
composition...

if you thought it was written
by Russ Lawrence's daughter.

And you were
going to grade me?

Well, only because
I'm not just his

daughter. I'm me.
Of course you are.

And I wanted you to be the
very best "me" you knew how.

You see, I owe your
father a great deal...

for giving me his knowledge
and encouragement.

I wanted to repay him in part
by inspiring his daughter.

I'm sorry if I went
about it the wrong way.

Well, you're only human.

Friends?
The royalist.

- See you tomorrow, Mr. Hardy.
- Crazy.

And give my regards to Gidget
Lawrence's father, will you?

Right.
toodles!

Good-bye, Dad.
Got to go to school early.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
You haven't had your breakfast.

I stashed a piece of
toast in my notebook.

I'll eat it during study period.
When you gonna study?

During lunch.
Unleash me, Dad.

I've got to go put some stuff
on the board in English.

Don't tell me you're assisting
old Hardy-Har-Har?

Mister Hardy. You're speaking of
the English teacher I dig most.

Just because he gave you
an "A" on that composition?

Don't knock it, Dad.
He gave you an "F."

Duh.

Oh, I'll be home late.

Siddo's giving a glassing party

'cause he has some
dings in his board.

Well, happy glassing, sweetie.

Remember, you're
only young once.

Don't I know it.

It's true, you know.
You are only young once.

But if you work it right,
once is enough.

Yeah.