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Downloaded from
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YTS.MX
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Morning Odie.
Morning Odie.
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Here you go, boy.
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Ah.
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Well, I guess I'll go
shower and shave.
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Thanks for sharing thatwithme
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Yes folks, this is my life.
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While it may look vitalandstimul
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That's because Jon's a dork.
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He really needs to get alife, and
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to help him find one.
Why?
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Because Jon's my friend, andl'dd
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anything to help my friend, nomat
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Unless of course, there'ssomethin
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Ah, time for my favoriteshow, Yuk
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This week, Yukon Stinkyinsultsa
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Can't miss that.
Eh, Jon's life can wait.
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Well, Stinky, I guessthiscase
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Give em heck, Stinky.
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This is WBOR, the all
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national anthem, all thetimechan
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Next, by popular demand, theCanad
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And, if you're notcompletelys
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Ajax nose hair tweezers,
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we'll refund all yourtweezednose
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Take that.
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And that.
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And that!>> Oh.
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And that. If it's not toomuch
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And if you don't mind!
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That should beenoughstimulati
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1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,
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7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.
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141, 142, 143, 144.
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Garfield, did you knowthebedroom
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The living room has 214.
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I'm bored.
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Why don't you organizeyoursoc
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I'd organize my sockdrawer, bu
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it last night.>> I'll be thejudg
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Whoa, I'm impressed.
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All nicely tucked and sorted, byc
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These are the winter socks.
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The summer ones are in theotherd
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Here we have your naturalfiberso
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Here's your man made fibersocks.
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And of course, here you'vegotyou
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You know what, Garfield?
You need a life.
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I need a life >> Yep.
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There's more to life, thansock
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There's underwear.>> There'sa
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there beyond the sockdrawer, and
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Nice touch.
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Haven't you got a life yet?
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What are you waiting for?
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Do I have to doeverythingaround
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How to make friends, andfoolt
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Obviously, a book on sincerity.
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I forgot, I had this book.
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Hey, this chapter ongettingdates
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Great, read it and give meafu
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The sooner you get happywithyour
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the sooner I can get backtomine.
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Humans, never satisfied.
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If only they'd learn to be
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content with the simplethingsin
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Like lasagna, a good nap,
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family, dog breath.
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It says here, a singlesclubis
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the ticket, for a happening
kind of guy like me. Let's
get to work.
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Whatever.
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Hey there, would you liketoda
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Sure, why not.
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Yes, yes. Did you hear that, Ga
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She wants to dance with me.
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It's a miracle.
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Come my dear, let's cut arug.
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Hey jerk, disco is dead.>>Wha
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When?
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Boy, you learn to dance, then
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zango, 14 years, latertheychange
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Go figure.
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It says here, a laundromatisa
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Looks like a great placetotak
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Clean chicks.
Pardon me, I couldn't
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help but notice yourfrillylittle
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Are you a ballerina?
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Why, yes I am.
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And I couldn't help butnotice, yo
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Are you a dweeb?
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Why, yes he is.
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It says, here a video store
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is a great place to meet chicks.
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Can we get Old Yeller?
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I love movies with happy
endings.
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Interested in checking outali
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Will you be rentingthattape,
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No, he'll be eating ithere.
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Pardon me ladies.
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I seem to have lost my
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Olympic swimming medalsaroundher
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I might have lost themoverthere
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I just can't remember.
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Oh well, I think I'll dosomepush
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Out of my way creep, oops.
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Nice going, Jon. Here weare, t
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life and all you canthinkabout,
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So, as I was saying to myself
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when I saw you standingthere, thi
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a chick er, lady ofdistinctionan
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taste, to be shopping in
such an expensive store.
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Did I tell you, what
lovely eyes you have?
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And by the way, I
wanna thank you
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for listening to me this
long, without hitting
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me or shoving anything
in my mouth.
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That means a lot to me, itreally
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Hey, I tell you what.
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Let's get out of this place, and
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grab a cup of coffeesomewhere, ok
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This way, my lady.
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Oh, let's give him
a hand for trying.
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Huh, this may come as
a surprise to you
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Garfield, but I'm just notverygo
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No, go on.
You're putting me on.
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Hello there.
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Don't flatter yourself.>>Stri
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Maybe, I oughta just
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forget about meetinganyone, ever.
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Maybe, I'll become a nun.
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As long as it gets
you out of the house.
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Hi there.
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Take a hike.
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No thanks, I just took one.
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00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,769
Strike two.
What is it Garfield?
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00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,138
Is it my breath, my looks, mypers
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00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,741
Why can't I, yo there.
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Buzz off.
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00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:39,346
Buzz.
Strike three.
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Yes sirree bob.
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It times like this, I sitsbackan
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Oh no.
And when a man feels this
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blue, he's just got to getitout.
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He's gonna sing.>> A man'sjus
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And I thought thatpeoplewere
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00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:15,715
And now, this word fromourspo
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Friends, are youlonely, bored,
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00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:23,623
Is your idea of a funSaturdaynig
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00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:28,328
sitting home, watchingtelevision
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00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:31,731
Are you so boring, thatyoucould
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00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:35,201
Are you so out of touch, youthink
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Have you ever passed timebycount
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00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:42,976
Compared to you, does aslugseem
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Well friend. If this is you, cheer
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There's help for you attheLorenz
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00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:50,216
for the Personalitylmpaired. That
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At Lorenzo School forthePersonal
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00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:53,853
can show you how to get a life.
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00:10:53,887 --> 00:10:56,256
We can take, even the most under
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00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:58,858
interesting and tiresomebore, and
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someone vital, energeticandself
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00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,530
We'll show you how tomakefriends
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00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,298
How to make good music, howtomak
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00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:08,635
first impressions, how todoimpre
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And at Lorenzo's School forthePe
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we've got a proven track record.
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I thought I'd never have
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a personality, but after
only 14 weeks
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at Lorenzo's School forthePerson
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00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:21,581
I now have a great personality.
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00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:24,818
Six months ago, I wasaschool
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crossing the street was my life.
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00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:29,622
Now thanks to Lorenzo'sSchoolfor
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00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:33,159
Personality Impaired, I amabull
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00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:36,162
And why am I carryingthisstick,
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00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,932
Why, that's to keep thewomenaway
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00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,800
I wonder if they couldhelpme.
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00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,936
Remember, friend, atLorenzo'sSch
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00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:44,504
for the Personality Impaired
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00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:48,575
our motto is, if you can getapul
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00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:51,878
Well, maybe they'll takeyouan
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00:11:57,917 --> 00:11:59,619
Hello, hello, welcome to
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00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:02,555
Lorenzo's School for the
Personality Impaired.
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00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:03,556
May I help you?
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00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:06,459
Uh, yes, I'm here to getalife
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00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:09,429
I mean, I have a life, butit'sbo
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00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:11,464
Well it's, it's not thatit'sbori
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00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,700
I just, I just don'thaveanything
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00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:16,903
interesting going on. Uh, notatt
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00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:18,505
Not that I couldn't ofcourse, you
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00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:19,715
I'm kinda in-between.>> Yes, I
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00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,207
Well, we'll just start yourighto
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00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,075
in room 1A, that's how to make
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a good first impression.
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Down the hall, first dooronyour
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Have a nice life.
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00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,283
I'd settle for a nice lunch.
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00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:32,118
I wonder if this is theplace.
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00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,388
104
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00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:37,357
25
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00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,761
Yeah.
This is the place.
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00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:44,330
How do you do?
My name is Lorenzo.
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00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:47,167
And what is your name?
Jon, Jon Arbuckle.
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00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,802
And this is my, are you
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00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:50,112
uh, the Lorenzo inthecommercial?
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00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:51,137
In person.
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00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:53,105
Gee, on TV you sounded so, so.
208
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,774
So what?
So alive.
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00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:58,111
Oh ha, that was lip syncyoukn
210
00:12:58,144 --> 00:12:59,913
My body, CharlestonHeston'svoice
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00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,515
Its a, its theatricalthing, it's
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00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:03,817
I see.
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00:13:03,850 --> 00:13:06,486
Onward and upward, shallwe?
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00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:11,057
Have a seat Mr., Airbuckle? Goodm
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00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,959
Welcome to the Lorenzo School,
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00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:15,895
for the Personality Impairedlnc.
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00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:18,431
Remember our motto is, if youcan
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00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:21,201
get a pulse, you can get a life.
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00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,736
So the first thing we'regoingto
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00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:26,206
this morning, is checkourselvesf
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00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:29,209
If you don't have one, pleaserais
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00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,711
Oh my, I see we have several.
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00:13:31,745 --> 00:13:34,748
Well uh, keep your hands upinthe
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00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:37,283
able assistant, Priscilla, willco
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00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:38,952
and give you a second opinion.
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00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,187
The first step to becomingavital
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00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:43,923
is to make a good
first impression.
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00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:46,393
Now, how do I do that, youmighta
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00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:50,130
Well, I'll tell you how Idothat,
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00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,232
You do that by walking rightupto
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00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,167
looking them right in theeye,
232
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,902
giving them a firm
handshake, and
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00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:59,873
saying, hello, my name is soands
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00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:02,041
Everyone, turn to thepersonnext
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00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,577
you and give it a try, now.
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00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:06,680
Hello, my name is so and so.
237
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:14,788
Hello, my name is Jon.>> Hi, I
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00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:17,057
Hello, my name is
Garfield, you probably
239
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:20,727
noticed I'm quite short andhavee
240
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,696
Was that okay?
Was what okay?
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00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:24,464
My first impression, Ireally
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00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,066
have no idea what I'm doing.
243
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,500
Oh, good.
244
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,069
Huh?
Neither do I.
245
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:31,404
How was mine?
Your what?
246
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:32,439
My first impression.
247
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,240
Oh, fine! I guess.
248
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:35,809
You guess? I knew it!>> What?
249
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,510
I have something betweenmytee
250
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,346
Oh no, no, your teetharefine!
251
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:40,814
See?
252
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:42,716
See what?>> I'm blowing it!
253
00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:44,718
I'm making a lousy first
impression.
254
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:47,287
No, you're not!
I guess.
255
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,855
Yeah, what do we know.
256
00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:51,725
The second part oftoday'sless
257
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:54,427
is learning to dress for
success.
258
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:56,529
Huh, I'm naked.
259
00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:58,665
In all modesty, Imustconfess,
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00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:02,035
in some circles I amconsidereda
261
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,069
if you will.
262
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:08,541
Let me share a few of myfashions
263
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,944
Rule number one, notice how I've
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00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:14,314
coordinated my pocketprotectorwi
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00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:17,250
Well, my left one, at any rate.
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00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:21,054
When it comes to color, Ithinksa
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00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:24,524
Your ensemble should behavevirtu
268
00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:25,759
for the eyes.
269
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:27,160
Notice how I've accented
270
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:29,062
my green tweet slacks with this
271
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:32,065
plaid jacket and this stringtie.
272
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:35,067
Why do I have thissuddenurge,
273
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,670
Nothing impressespeoplemore,
274
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:39,139
when you speak in aforeignlangua
275
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:41,608
Say for instance, Canadian.
276
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:43,743
Now, this is an easy languagetol
277
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,679
You just talk like younormallywo
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00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:49,215
except occasionally, youthrowin
279
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:52,152
Example, I'm going to town, eh.
280
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:55,255
I am going to town, eh.
281
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,890
Great, let's all go totown, eh
282
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:58,958
Maybe we can have some lunch, eh?
283
00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,660
I was so shy in gym class,
284
00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:03,028
I had my sister take myshowersfo
285
00:16:03,029 --> 00:16:05,699
I was so shy, Ialmoststarved
286
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:07,767
because Ididn't tell my dad Iwas
287
00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:08,735
You're not shy.
288
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,271
Oh yes I am.>> No, you'renot.
289
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,873
You're like that guy onthebeach
290
00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:17,377
Uh, what guy?
Oh, just some guy.
291
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,779
He was walking aroundflexinghis
292
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:23,283
looking for his Olympicswimmingm
293
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:29,556
You don't really havetolearn
294
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:32,292
language, if you can soundlikeyo
295
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,794
People are really impressedifyou
296
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:36,930
or if you can sound like, youspea
297
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:38,164
Example.
298
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:47,440
Oh.
Very impressive, no?
299
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:48,575
You know, I've had just
300
00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,944
about enough sophisticationforon
301
00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:52,112
How about you?
302
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:58,685
Hey you, Monsieur dumbguy, rem
303
00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:01,654
What am I, chopped liver? Duckpat
304
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:03,890
Foie gras?
305
00:17:03,923 --> 00:17:05,258
Why am I getting so hungry?
306
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,261
That's a funny story.
307
00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:10,530
Oh, it's been awonderfulday,
308
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:12,932
Class was great and dinnerwasfun
309
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:17,036
But most of all, Ireallyenjoyed
310
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:19,139
Until I met you, I thought Iwast
311
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:22,842
in the world, to get mytonguecau
312
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,878
And we didn't even havetospea
313
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:26,212
What?
Think about it.
314
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:28,448
We had a wonderfuleveningwithout
315
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:30,850
rely on anything, we learnedincl
316
00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:32,619
You mean, we can be ourselves
317
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,254
and still have a good time?
318
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:35,822
Mm-hm. It's a theoryworthpurs
319
00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:37,257
What a concept.
320
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,325
I know, I've been workingsoha
321
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,394
to be what I thoughtotherpeople
322
00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:43,596
I almost forgot, who I was.
323
00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:46,766
Well, I'm glad I met theyou, y
324
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,235
Huh, I was fresh out ofotherm
325
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:51,237
Do you know, I've neverbeenable
326
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:54,674
to anyone like thisbefore, other
327
00:17:54,708 --> 00:17:56,242
Other than my cat, thatis.
328
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,278
My cat.
329
00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:01,715
Yesterday, I had aname. Yesterday
330
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:05,218
buddy, his confidant, todayl'mhi
331
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:10,824
I can't believe it.
332
00:18:10,857 --> 00:18:12,525
Jon's actually met someonewholik
333
00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:14,828
him, and it's not evenhismother.
334
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:16,296
What's this world coming to?
335
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,598
Who would have guessed?
336
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:03,176
Oh no.
Poor Jon!
337
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:05,010
He doesn't know, whathe'sgetting
338
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:07,414
I must stop him, beforehemultipl
339
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,516
Then in my senior year, Iwasv
340
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:13,018
most likely, to sit aroundthehou
341
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:15,255
And then, Garfield, what areyoud
342
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,356
Let go of her, Jon.
343
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,425
Who knows where that handhasbeen
344
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,493
What a sweet cat!
345
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,128
Don't listen to herJon, she's
346
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:23,496
to get to you, through me
347
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:26,366
Would you like me toscratchbe
348
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:29,302
Oh that's good, she'sverysmar
349
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:31,538
Once she has me in herclutchessh
350
00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:33,673
just a little bit behindthisear.
351
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,612
Jon listen carefully, it's alla.
352
00:19:39,646 --> 00:19:43,350
Just a little lower, this isalla
353
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:48,455
get you to oh, yes there ah,
354
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:50,757
oh, yeah, yeah.
355
00:19:55,729 --> 00:19:56,796
Excuse me.
356
00:19:58,064 --> 00:19:59,165
You okay?
357
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,768
Oh, I'm fine really it's, it's
358
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:06,740
just that I'm, I'm allergictocat
359
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,643
Oh. For a minute there, Ithoug
360
00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:12,712
you said you were allergictocats
361
00:20:12,746 --> 00:20:16,850
I am. I.
Oh no.
362
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,685
Aw, too bad.
What a shame.
363
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:22,155
She was so cute, and such agoode
364
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:24,758
Well, come along, Jon, saygoodbye
365
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:27,560
It's time to fix dinner.
This is terrible!
366
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,431
I, I'm sorry, Jon.
367
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,033
Can't you take shots foryoura
368
00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:35,101
They don't do me any good.
369
00:20:35,135 --> 00:20:36,403
What can I do?
370
00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:38,104
You can chuck her onthechin,
371
00:20:38,138 --> 00:20:40,874
been nice knowing you, kid, andse
372
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,308
What if I shaved my cat?
373
00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:45,812
Hey, ho, hi, time out! Jon, wha
374
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:49,282
Oh, Mona, you are so sweet.
375
00:20:49,315 --> 00:20:51,818
We could really havebeensomethin
376
00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:08,601
There's something to besaid, f
377
00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:11,338
Can we still see each
other sometime, Jon?
378
00:21:11,371 --> 00:21:13,506
I'd like that.
Good.
379
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:15,842
Not without a chaperon, youwon
380
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:19,512
Jon's more than just a friendtom
381
00:21:19,546 --> 00:21:21,848
Come on.
I'll take you home.
382
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:22,649
Hang on.
383
00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:27,687
Wait for me. You're notleavingme
384
00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:29,989
There's more than one waytoskin
385
00:21:31,091 --> 00:21:32,258
So to speak.
386
00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:36,830
I saw this on a freeway once.
387
00:21:40,266 --> 00:21:42,635
I'm sorry I'm allergictoyour
388
00:21:42,669 --> 00:21:45,605
I'm sorry for us.
I like you Mona.
389
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:48,375
I like myself, when I'mwithyo
390
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:53,246
What?
Mercy
391
00:21:53,279 --> 00:21:57,984
No. That's Merci Bocu, >>Merci
392
00:21:58,018 --> 00:21:59,352
No, Jon.
24838
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