All language subtitles for Complete Savages s01e13 Savage XXX-mas

What are you boys doing?

Writing something?

You bored, Dad?

Yeah.

We're out of beer.

We're making out our Christmas list.

So you don't buy us any pajamas like
last time?

You gotta wear something to bed.

No, I don't.

You want good stuff this year. Like
death stuff.

All right, I'll bite.

What's Death Stomp?

It's a video game that lets you stomp
things to death.

It's the highest toy this Christmas.

Ironically, when it went on sale, three
people were stomped to death.

That's wicked ironic.

So you get us one, Dad?

You know, boys, I've been giving it some
thought.

Instead of going overboard on presents,
maybe this year we focus on the true

meaning of Christmas.

Just kidding. Give me your list.

Chris. Cash.

Sam.

Cash.

Jack.

Cash.

Or check.

Whatever's easier.

So that we can buy something nice for
you.

Then basically, I'm buying my own
presents.

And our girlfriend's presents.

But without all the hustle and bustle.

You know, this is all incredibly
thoughtful, but I've got a better idea.

Why don't you boys get jobs? Then you
can pay for your own Christmas shopping.

You should have said just kidding by
now.

Why won't he pay it?

Stores always hire extra people at
Christmas.

Here's the Help Wanted ad.

Happy holidays.

Uh, you don't mean us, Dad, do you?

Yeah, we're too young to get jobs.

No, you're not.

You can help me and the other firemen
collect toys for needy children.

Oh, needy kids get stuff every year.

How can they still be needy?

Yeah, maybe this year they should learn
the true meaning of Christmas.

They need cashiers at Burger Town.

Nah, wait, you need a master's degree.

Hey, the book nook would be a horrible
place for us to work.

God, look.

Christmas help needed at Heather and
Lace?

The lingerie store that puts out a new
catalog every six weeks with special

editions in January and June?

You've heard of it.

Can you imagine working there? The
salespeople are hot, the customers are

even the mannequins are hot.

Are there any benefits?

I just told you the benefits.

Are these people here for the job?

I thought we were geniuses coming five
minutes early, but these people are

geniuses.

Well, we'd better get in line. Or get
rid of the line.

Good morning, everybody. I'm store
manager Jack Travage.

Thank you all for coming, but the jobs
have been filled.

Damn! He's lying.

I know. I'm acting, buttweed.

But the Cracker Shack is hiring the
first, um, 11 people who apply.

Thanks, mister.

Let's go.

You know, some of those people look like
they really need the jobs. I feel kind

of... tingly inside.

They better hire me, because I am not
leaving.

Let's go over with the other donations.

I know.

I just wanted to see what my face felt
like with a big smile.

Third pile's so much bigger than our
pile, Dad.

I'm starting to feel like a needy kid.

Can't we trade some of our stuff for
better stuff?

Hey, it's not a game show. It's charity.

Oh.

Oh, yeah, it's being game station.

Oh, this will look so great.

In my truck, going to some poor kid's
house.

Speaking of poor kids, Dad, when do we
get paid for helping you?

When the job is done. Those gifts need
to get wrapped. Here.

Green bows for boys, red bows for girls.

I know it sounds like a lot of work, but
when you see the look on those kids'

faces... We gotta see their faces?

Just start wrapping.

And no playing with the toys.

Yes!

Nothing but net.

Thank you so much for hiring us.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. We will
not let you down.

Phil, where do you want to first?

Rod, Dong?

Actually, you boys are going to be in
the heart of the operation.

Step in to what I call the den of sin.

Are we in the right place?

You're just showing us where the
bathroom is, right?

Then we go back to the big pink room
with the girls, right?

Wrong. Sure looks a lot like a stock
room, Heather.

That's because you're stock boys.

Stock boys?

You'll be in charge of unpacking,
refolding, tagging, detagging,

stocking, stacking, and size retrieval.

Oh, and emptying out the rat traps.

If it's all the same to you, we'd really
like to help the customers put on their

bras.

break some four and a half hours.

Look, can we at least eat in the
changing room?

No.

Why is it so hot in here?

Yeah, it's the padded bras.

They're like extra insulation.

It is a zoo out there. Okay, I need a
purple push -up and 36 double D, small

pink bustier and four black lace dummy
cups. Pronto!

Can we please have some water?

No.

Now hurry up, I gotta have to... topless
women out there jumping up now for

their bras.

Well, why don't we just bring them
directly to the customers?

No.

All right, here you go. Purple push -up,
bustier, and demi -cups. Good job, Sam.

Hi,

boys.

Hold these.

Women are such pigs.

Come on, guys. It's just a couple of
weeks.

We're making money for Christmas.

Plus, we get to lie to our friends about
how cool our jobs are.

True. We are helping hot women.

Yeah, they just don't know it. They
can't see them.

Don't get your panties in a bunch.

What? I was being positive.

No, you're bunching up your panties.

Oh, it's Angela. I forgot to tell her I
got a job.

Don't. answer that. You can't tell her
that you work here. Why not?

You've got your hands in women's
underwear all day.

Girlfriends usually don't like that.

She won't care.

You think she'll care?

Would you care if she had a job in the
Patriots locker room folding jock

Yes, but I've never lied to her about
anything.

Sam, very nice.

He could fold my underwear any time.

Okay, I need a good lie.

You wrap so much better than I do.

Oh, my God, G .J., look!

Dad, stop.

Open it.

We can't. It's supposed to go to the
needy kids.

Then why are you opening it?

I don't know.

I can't stop myself.

It's a Christmas miracle.

Oh, my God.

Dad, don't stab her.

Good one, Dad.

Yeah. Taunting us with other kids'
presents.

That's funny stuff.

Well, well, well.

Look who's back from the panty mines.

Hey, you don't know pressure until
you've worked in a lingerie store.

Yesterday, I jumped off a building with
my legs on fire.

It's not a competition, Dad.

Hi, Angela. Hi, Mr. Savage.

Hey, I tried to call you earlier, but I
guess your phone was off. Did you get a

job today?

Yeah, yeah.

What is it?

A stock boy at the mall.

What store?

The Cracker Shack.

I love that store.

And now you get an employee discount.

I do.

This is perfect. I had my eye on that
Crackers of the World basket for Grammy

Nana, but it was too expensive. But now
with your discount... No problem. I can

get it for you.

And the Cracker of the Month club for my
dad.

I could shop for my whole family at that
one store. Why don't I go home and make

you a list?

That would be so great.

You smell good, like lavender.

New cracker flavor.

That goes on my list.

Great, now I have to invent a lavender
cracker.

Okay, your turn to pin the bra on the
hat.

Nailed her, pay up.

What?

No fair, you're wearing a see -through.

Come on, you guys, Heather's going to
get mad at us.

I need one of you on the sales floor.
We're swamped.

Gee, who should I pick?

The one with the bra on his head, the
one doing the hurtful impression of me,

the quiet one doing his job?

Hurtful impression?

Okay, Sam, get to work.

Wait, what am I supposed to do?

Well, when a customer asks for
something, get it.

That's it?

That's it.

I can do that.

Excuse me. Yes? I just had breast
implants, and I don't know what my new

is. Could you measure me?

Uh, Heather?

What is it, Sam?

Um, measurements.

It's the flame retardant that a snake
can't fight through.

You're probably wondering what I do for
a living.

None of my business.

I'm a stripper.

I know.

You seem very uncomfortable, Sam.

Maybe you should go back to the stock
room? No!

No, not that. Please, just give me
another chance, okay?

I'm a little shy, but most women find
that endearing.

Most women aren't paying you $7 an hour
plus commission.

I make commission?

20 % of everything you sell.

20 %?

Uh, you know, that comes in rose, sea
foam, and amber, and it's modeled on

17 by Giselle.

I'm impressed.

Believe me, I know your catalog like the
back of my hand.

Stop it, Kyle.

Thanks, TJ.

You stopped being good, too.

you just had to look.

Which is over to regular TV.

Not bad, you idiot.

It's an ambulance taking old lady Riley
away again.

I'm Nick Savage with Ladder 217.

Look, Dad's on TV.

Tis the season to be jolly.

But not for some families.

Donate a toy today.

And help make sure every kid has a
present under their tree.

He almost had me.

No,

come on, Kyle.

You know what we have to do.

Play with it until Christmas Eve and
then give it to charity?

Sounds good to me.

Dan, do you think my husband will like
this?

Tell you what, if that doesn't knock his
socks off, I will personally come to

your house and pull his socks off.

That Teddy and Periwinkle?

Home run.

36C, right?

How'd you do that?

I'm in the zone.

Fold these.

Come on, guys, where's the stuff I asked
for? I need it now, pronto, pronto.

You know, you're not the only salesgirl
on the floor.

Just the whiniest.

Hey, you guys are costing me
commissions.

Commissions? So not only do you get to
work with beautiful women, but your

paychecks are better looking, too?

Look, I know where you're coming from,
okay?

I started off in the stockroom just like
you, but I worked my way out and... I'm

sure that maybe one day you... I still
need those short shorts.

I'm sick of him. He thinks he's God's
gift to underpan.

Just because we're crummy stock boys and
he gets a commission.

Maybe it's time someone put him out of
commission.

Lunch. Right after lunch.

Sam.

You're not supposed to be out here.

We just wanted to say we're sorry if we
cost you any commission.

Yeah, to make it up to you, we pulled
your orders first.

Tia can wait.

Hey, thanks, guys.

Hey, I'll talk to Heather about getting
you guys a fan back there.

Hey, well, you should know you've
already got two fans back there.

And remember, if you make a purchase of
$50, you'll receive this free CD of

holiday music.

Thongs for the season.

Now we just sit back and watch the fun.

Get out of the way, lady.

I can't believe I just did that.

This is one baby doll daddy's gonna let
stay up late.

Angela! What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

I got a text message to meet you at the
mall.

What? So I went to the Cracker Shack and
they've never even heard of you.

Really? That's odd.

And they don't sell lavender crackers.

Well, they're like Cuban cigars. You
know, you gotta know somebody.

And why are you wearing a button that
says, let's talk stockings? Do you work

here?

Look, Angela, I gotta be honest with
you.

Things did not work out at the Cracker
Shack.

Didn't tell you about this job because I
was worried that you'd think I was only

working here just to hit on women.

Sam, I would never think that.

Excuse me.

I don't appreciate you flipping your
phone number into my panties.

I don't know what she's talking about.

Call me.

Sam Savage, 413 -205 -6108.

What's going on, Sam?

Nice coconut lady?

From me, Sam Savage?

I would never demean women like this.
Okay, I'm a professional bust and tushy

consultant.

Not anymore.

Take your idiot brothers with you.

Works for me.

You can't fire us because... I just...
No, let me finish.

You can't fire us because we... Get out!

I'd really like to finish the sentence.

If she fires us, we get unemployment.

Because we're fired!

Next time we get fired, we've got to
remember our jacket.

Sam, are you still mad at us?

You mean for getting me fired and almost
costing me my girlfriend?

Let me think. Yeah!

I think someone needs to get his
Christmas present a little early.

Thanks for the season. You bought this
for me?

Actually, we stole an entire carton of
them.

Our Christmas shopping is done.

I feel terrible. I didn't steal anything
for you.

Stick your girl in something scanty. Fa
-la -la -la -la -la -la -la. We suggest

a see -through panty. Fa -la -la -la -la
-la -la -la.

I'm about five minutes along with the
desktop.

I've said my goodbyes.

Is that a remote -controlled tank?

Hold your legs.

Hi, son.

Dropping off another present?

Yep. There's some poor kid who doesn't
have a brother to play with.

By the way, don't tell TJ, but I got him
Death Stomp for Christmas.