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(gentle piano music)
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♫ Lovers come and lovers go
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♫ Lovers fight and sing fortissimo
4
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,136
♫ Give these handsome boys a hand
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00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:40,531
♫ Welcome to Falsettoland
♫ Everything will be all right
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00:00:40,531 --> 00:00:42,631
♫ Be all right for the rest of your life
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♫ Be all right for the rest of your life
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♫ Be all right for the rest of your life
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♫ Be all right, be all right
for the rest of your life
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00:00:51,047 --> 00:00:53,202
♫ Be all right for the rest of your life
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00:00:53,202 --> 00:00:55,524
♫ Be all right for the rest of your life
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00:00:55,524 --> 00:00:59,540
♫ Everything will be all right
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00:00:59,540 --> 00:01:02,540
(audience applauds)
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00:01:12,631 --> 00:01:13,464
- Oy!
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(all talking at once)
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♫ Four Jews in a room bitching
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♫ Four Jews in a room plot a crime
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♫ I'm bitching, he's bitching
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♫ They're bitching, we're bitching
20
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♫ Bitch bitch bitch bitch
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♫ Funny funny funny funny
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♫ Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
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♫ All the time
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♫ Oooh
♫ Whadda they do for love
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♫ Oooh
♫ Whadda they do for love
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♫ Four Jews in a room bitching
bitching bitching bitching
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♫ Four Jews in a room stoop
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♫ They stoop to pray
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- I'm Jewish.
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00:01:52,220 --> 00:01:53,636
- I'm Jewish.
- I'm Jewish.
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- Half Jewish.
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♫ Bitch bitch bitch bitch
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♫ Funny funny funny funny
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♫ Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
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♫ Night and day.
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00:02:03,094 --> 00:02:05,115
♫ Slavery
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♫ Slavery
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♫ We crossed the desert
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♫ Running for our lives
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♫ Fleeing from the Pharaoh
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♫ Who was up to no good
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♫ Now we're at the Red Sea
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♫ Pharaoh is behind us
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♫ Wanting us extincted
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- What we need is a miracle!
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♫ And then the Red Sea split before us
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♫ No more tsouris
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♫ We got our, we got our miracle
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♫ Four Jews itching for answers
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♫ Four Jews bitching their whole life long
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- I'm Whizzer!
- I'm Jason.
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- I'm Mendel.
- I'm Marvin.
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♫ Bitch bitch bitch bitch
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♫ Funny funny funny funny
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♫ Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
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♫ Right or whooo wrong
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♫ In case of smoke, please
call our mothers on the phone
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♫ And say their sons are all on fire
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♫ We are manipulating
people and we need to know
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00:03:06,684 --> 00:03:09,764
♫ Our worst sides aren't ignored
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♫ The guilt invested
will in time pay wisely
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♫ We do not tippy toe
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♫ We charge ahead to show
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♫ We're good in bed
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♫ Excel in bed
♫ We smell in bed
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♫ Where is the bed
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♫ I love the bed
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♫ Who has the bed
♫ I want the bed
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♫ Who stole the bed
♫ Who stole the bed
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♫ I lost it twice
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♫ The bed is mine
♫ The bed is nice
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♫ The bed is four Jews
in a room bitching whee
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♫ Four Jews talking like Jew-ish men
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♫ I'm neurotic, he's neurotic
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♫ They're neurotic, we're neurotic
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♫ Bitch bitch bitch bitch
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♫ Funny funny funny funny
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- I'm nauseous!
- I'm nauseous!
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- I'm simple.
- I'm Jewish.
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♫ Slavery slavery
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♫ Bitch bitch bitch bitch
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♫ Funny funny funny funny
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♫ I'm neurotic he's neurotic
they're neurotic we're neurotic
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♫ I'm neurotic he's neurotic
they're neurotic we're neurotic
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♫ Five Jews in a room
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♫ Five Jews in a room
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♫ Slavery slavery
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♫ Four Jews in a room bitching
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♫ Bitch bitch bitch
bitch bitch bitch bitch
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♫ Now and then
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♫ Can't lose
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♫ Loose screws
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♫ Four
- One
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- Two
- Three
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- Four
- Five
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♫ Five Jews
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(audience cheers and applauds)
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♫ Well, the situation's this
99
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♫ I do not wish to offend
100
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♫ I divorced my wife
101
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♫ I left my child
102
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♫ And I ran off with a friend
103
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♫ But I want a tight-knit family
104
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♫ I want a group that harmonizes
105
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♫ I want my wife and kid and friend
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♫ To pretend
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♫ Time will mend
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♫ Our pain
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♫ So it's 1979
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♫ And we don't go by the book
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♫ We all eat as one
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♫ Wife, friend, and son
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♫ And I sing out as they cook
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♫ I love my tight-knit family
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♫ I love the way they cook linguine
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♫ Isn't it great we're all so swell
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♫ Such a dear clientele
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♫ I swear we're gonna come through it
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♫ I fear we'll probably fight
120
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♫ But nothing's impossible
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♫ Live by your wit
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♫ Kid, wife, and lover will have to admit
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♫ I was right
124
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♫ I cushioned the fall
125
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♫ I want it all
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♫ I want it all
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♫ I want it
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♫ I want it all
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- Sit down, my dear.
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I hear you have a problem.
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♫ I'm sure you're not
disgusting or indiscreet
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♫ Take a load off your feet
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Happy or sad?
- Oh, I--
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- That's a question with no answer.
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(audience laughs)
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♫ Let's not discuss the
weather, let's face the facts
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♫ Marvin's wife must relax
138
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♫ Love isn't sex
139
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♫ That's a thing my husband once told me
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♫ Marvin, my ex
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♫ You've seen him for years
142
00:06:44,547 --> 00:06:49,214
♫ Told me over the phone
to tell you my fears
143
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♫ Do you only treat queers?
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(audience laughs)
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- No.
146
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Breathe deep, my dear,
you'll find me understanding.
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♫ Your pain is a priori
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00:07:02,752 --> 00:07:06,335
♫ Unfold your untold story
149
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♫ Now to break bread
150
00:07:08,611 --> 00:07:11,074
♫ Loosen your glands
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♫ Put your head in my hands
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♫ I'm everything he wanted
153
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♫ It's time I put it all together
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♫ The date was set
155
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♫ My father let me marry
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♫ I married, I
157
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♫ Then Marvin came from work
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♫ Sat me down on the bed
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♫ He told me how he loved me
160
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♫ How needed and/or valued me
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♫ I have
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- What, syphilis?
♫ Syphilis he said
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- Good.
♫ I have
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- Yes?
♫ Syphilis it's true
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- Good.
♫ I have something rotten
166
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♫ Which appears though
now it's well forgotten
167
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♫ Maybe, darling, so do you
♫ Maybe, darling, so do you
168
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♫ I am probably diseased
169
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♫ You're a lovely girl
170
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♫ And so easily appeased
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♫ What a lovely girl, though
she's possibly diseased
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♫ He took pains to not excite us
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♫ He explains I've
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♫ Hepatitis
♫ Hepatitis too.
175
00:08:02,563 --> 00:08:05,406
♫ Hepa hepa hepatitis
♫ Hepatitis hepatitis
176
00:08:05,406 --> 00:08:08,073
♫ Love is blind
177
00:08:08,939 --> 00:08:13,156
♫ Love can tell a million stories
178
00:08:13,156 --> 00:08:15,823
♫ Love's unkind
179
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♫ Spiteful in a million ways
180
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♫ Then I stayed home from work
181
00:08:21,522 --> 00:08:24,016
♫ Took good care of my men
182
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♫ They faked despair, they wet their bed
183
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♫ They combed their hair, they acted dead
184
00:08:26,414 --> 00:08:27,247
♫ One said
- Yes?
185
00:08:27,247 --> 00:08:28,293
- Daddy is a prick!
186
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- What?
♫ He said
187
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- Yes?
- Daddy isn't mine.
188
00:08:30,202 --> 00:08:31,035
- Good.
189
00:08:31,035 --> 00:08:31,868
♫ He filled my coats
190
00:08:31,868 --> 00:08:32,701
♫ With candies and notes
191
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♫ With "Will you be my valentine"
192
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♫ Will you be my valentine
193
00:08:38,820 --> 00:08:39,832
♫ This gets harder to believe
194
00:08:39,832 --> 00:08:40,908
♫ You're a damaged girl
195
00:08:40,908 --> 00:08:42,176
♫ I've a scalpel up my sleeve
196
00:08:42,176 --> 00:08:43,138
♫ What a damaged girl
197
00:08:43,138 --> 00:08:44,276
♫ Do not ever slit your wrists
198
00:08:44,276 --> 00:08:46,006
♫ I've missed him, he's still missing
199
00:08:46,006 --> 00:08:50,843
♫ Don't make noise, but
daddy's kissing boys
200
00:08:50,843 --> 00:08:52,137
♫ Petty, petty, petty, petty
201
00:08:52,137 --> 00:08:54,804
♫ Love is blind
202
00:08:56,032 --> 00:09:00,192
♫ Love can tell a million stories
203
00:09:00,192 --> 00:09:02,859
♫ Love's unkind
204
00:09:04,273 --> 00:09:08,631
♫ Spiteful in a million ways
205
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:11,298
♫ Love is blind
206
00:09:12,569 --> 00:09:16,825
♫ Love can tell a million stories
207
00:09:16,825 --> 00:09:19,492
♫ Love's unkind
208
00:09:20,814 --> 00:09:24,564
♫ Spiteful in a million ways
209
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:26,465
♫ Love is crazy
210
00:09:26,465 --> 00:09:27,298
♫ Love is often boring
211
00:09:27,298 --> 00:09:29,271
♫ Love stinks, love is pretty often debris
212
00:09:29,271 --> 00:09:30,888
♫ When you find what you find
213
00:09:30,888 --> 00:09:32,960
♫ Then never, never, never, never, never
214
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:33,831
♫ Do it over again
215
00:09:33,831 --> 00:09:35,744
♫ Love reads like a bad biography
216
00:09:35,744 --> 00:09:37,608
♫ All the names are changed
to protect the innocent
217
00:09:37,608 --> 00:09:40,275
♫ Love is blind
218
00:09:41,592 --> 00:09:44,961
♫ My name is Mendel
219
00:09:44,961 --> 00:09:47,685
♫ I treat her husband
220
00:09:47,685 --> 00:09:51,451
♫ I think she's very insecure
221
00:09:51,451 --> 00:09:53,951
♫ But so am I
222
00:09:55,990 --> 00:09:57,031
(audience laughs)
223
00:09:57,031 --> 00:09:59,175
♫ I've never married
224
00:09:59,175 --> 00:10:03,334
♫ Work, work is my passion
225
00:10:03,334 --> 00:10:07,412
♫ Or perhaps that's an alibi
226
00:10:07,412 --> 00:10:09,245
- Yeah, perhaps it is.
227
00:10:10,521 --> 00:10:12,342
- I don't care to discuss it.
228
00:10:12,342 --> 00:10:14,559
I think, I just... (audience laughs)
229
00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:17,261
♫ I think she's charming
230
00:10:17,261 --> 00:10:20,322
♫ I think she's needy
231
00:10:20,322 --> 00:10:23,475
♫ In just five sessions on my couch
232
00:10:23,475 --> 00:10:27,342
♫ She'll be like new
233
00:10:27,342 --> 00:10:30,509
♫ His name is Mendel
234
00:10:33,870 --> 00:10:36,672
♫ Return next Friday
235
00:10:36,672 --> 00:10:39,922
♫ I admit I admire you
236
00:10:45,613 --> 00:10:46,689
♫ Hang up all your clothes
237
00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,122
♫ Whizzer begs
♫ Whizzer knows
238
00:10:48,122 --> 00:10:48,955
♫ Shave your legs
239
00:10:48,955 --> 00:10:49,949
♫ Make me sick
♫ You're a prick
240
00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:51,132
♫ God you're impossible
241
00:10:51,132 --> 00:10:53,802
♫ We've been together for nine months
242
00:10:53,802 --> 00:10:54,821
♫ 10 months
♫ Nine months
243
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,612
♫ 10 months
♫ Nine months
244
00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:57,445
♫ 10 months
245
00:10:57,445 --> 00:11:00,929
♫ We are the salt of the bourgeoisie
246
00:11:00,929 --> 00:11:02,035
♫ While I put the steak in
247
00:11:02,035 --> 00:11:03,182
♫ I bring home the bacon
248
00:11:03,182 --> 00:11:04,682
♫ And we're proud to say we love it how we
249
00:11:04,682 --> 00:11:05,758
♫ Don't
♫ Won't
250
00:11:05,758 --> 00:11:06,624
♫ Don't
♫ Won't
251
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,473
♫ Don't
252
00:11:08,473 --> 00:11:10,473
♫ Agree
253
00:11:14,233 --> 00:11:16,796
♫ Everything he owns is vile
254
00:11:16,796 --> 00:11:17,750
♫ Marvin doesn't care a whit
255
00:11:17,750 --> 00:11:19,323
♫ Marvin doesn't share
256
00:11:19,323 --> 00:11:22,573
♫ My devotion to style
257
00:11:24,362 --> 00:11:27,429
♫ Men from France can cancel a debt
258
00:11:27,429 --> 00:11:31,596
♫ Men in cufflinks make me forget my name
259
00:11:33,354 --> 00:11:36,772
♫ I intend to upset
260
00:11:36,772 --> 00:11:40,105
♫ This regrettable game
261
00:11:41,511 --> 00:11:44,429
♫ Whizzer takes me by the neck
262
00:11:44,429 --> 00:11:46,730
♫ What is this, wash and wear?
263
00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:51,268
♫ Whizzer has unlimited knowledge of dreck
264
00:11:51,268 --> 00:11:53,606
♫ Send me flowers
265
00:11:53,606 --> 00:11:55,357
♫ Mention is made
266
00:11:55,357 --> 00:11:57,053
♫ Make them roses
267
00:11:57,053 --> 00:12:01,108
♫ Attention is paid in full
268
00:12:01,108 --> 00:12:04,421
♫ See how quickly he sours
269
00:12:04,421 --> 00:12:08,406
♫ When he pushes, I pull
270
00:12:08,406 --> 00:12:10,487
♫ Hang up your clothes, Marvin
271
00:12:10,487 --> 00:12:11,887
♫ Breeding shows, Marvin
272
00:12:11,887 --> 00:12:13,440
♫ I was rich, he was horny
273
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,029
♫ We fit like a glove
274
00:12:15,029 --> 00:12:17,003
♫ Close your eyes, Whizzer
275
00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:20,153
♫ Passion dies
276
00:12:20,153 --> 00:12:23,481
♫ But I'd kill for that thrill of first
277
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:26,161
♫ Love
278
00:12:26,161 --> 00:12:30,864
♫ We ask for passion at all times
279
00:12:30,864 --> 00:12:35,544
♫ We stand to passion and drink this toast
280
00:12:35,544 --> 00:12:36,450
♫ Still it's awfully trying
281
00:12:36,450 --> 00:12:37,604
♫ And we're not denying
282
00:12:37,604 --> 00:12:41,440
♫ That of all the lesser passions
283
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:44,773
♫ We like fighting most
284
00:12:55,244 --> 00:12:57,537
♫ Whizzer screws too much to see
285
00:12:57,537 --> 00:12:59,217
♫ What a joy's monogamy
286
00:12:59,217 --> 00:13:02,024
♫ What a joy is saving his joys
287
00:13:02,024 --> 00:13:04,916
♫ For one man
288
00:13:04,916 --> 00:13:06,193
♫ Leave me
♫ Love me
289
00:13:06,193 --> 00:13:07,945
♫ Don't be a fool
290
00:13:07,945 --> 00:13:09,925
♫ Want me
♫ Feed me
291
00:13:09,925 --> 00:13:13,833
♫ No one's so cruel and cheap
292
00:13:13,833 --> 00:13:15,540
♫ What I love I devour
293
00:13:15,540 --> 00:13:19,707
♫ What you love you
devour, what I covet I keep
294
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,284
♫ Isn't that right, Whizzer
295
00:13:22,284 --> 00:13:24,186
♫ Let's both fight, Whizzer
296
00:13:24,186 --> 00:13:26,103
♫ I was trained in karate
297
00:13:26,103 --> 00:13:27,874
♫ I'm best when I cheat
298
00:13:27,874 --> 00:13:32,602
♫ So I'll cheat, Whizzer, and I'll shove
299
00:13:32,602 --> 00:13:36,023
♫ And I'll kill for that thrill of first
300
00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:37,940
♫ Love
301
00:13:38,781 --> 00:13:40,688
♫ We've been together for nine months-
302
00:13:40,688 --> 00:13:41,539
♫ 10 months
♫ Nine months
303
00:13:41,539 --> 00:13:42,604
♫ We've been together for 10 months
304
00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:43,852
♫ Nine months
♫ 10 months
305
00:13:43,852 --> 00:13:47,739
♫ In fact we've almost survived a year
306
00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:49,007
♫ True, but who is counting?
307
00:13:49,007 --> 00:13:50,145
♫ We're too busy mounting
308
00:13:50,145 --> 00:13:53,637
♫ A display of our affection
309
00:13:53,637 --> 00:13:56,720
♫ That is so sincere
310
00:14:25,361 --> 00:14:28,322
♫ Passion dies
311
00:14:28,322 --> 00:14:31,730
♫ Passion dies
312
00:14:31,730 --> 00:14:34,657
♫ I would kill for that
thrill of first love
313
00:14:34,657 --> 00:14:36,654
♫ I would kill for that
thrill of first love-
314
00:14:36,654 --> 00:14:37,664
♫ I would kill for that
thrill of first love-
315
00:14:37,664 --> 00:14:39,141
♫ I would kill for that thrill
316
00:14:39,141 --> 00:14:40,978
♫ I would kill for that thrill of first
317
00:14:40,978 --> 00:14:42,285
♫ Love
318
00:14:42,285 --> 00:14:43,890
♫ Love
319
00:14:43,890 --> 00:14:45,807
♫ Love
320
00:14:49,409 --> 00:14:52,409
(audience applauds)
321
00:14:56,558 --> 00:15:00,141
♫ My father says that love
322
00:15:02,136 --> 00:15:06,303
♫ Is the most beautiful thing in the world
323
00:15:07,184 --> 00:15:09,739
♫ I think games are
324
00:15:09,739 --> 00:15:12,711
♫ I think chess is the most
325
00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:15,544
♫ Beautiful thing
326
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:20,651
♫ Not love
327
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:33,790
- Marvin at the psychiatrist,
a three-part mini opera.
328
00:15:33,790 --> 00:15:36,048
(audience laughs)
329
00:15:36,048 --> 00:15:36,881
Part One.
330
00:15:39,683 --> 00:15:41,599
♫ Do you love him
331
00:15:41,599 --> 00:15:43,214
♫ Sorta kinda
332
00:15:43,214 --> 00:15:45,129
♫ Do you need him
333
00:15:45,129 --> 00:15:47,817
♫ Sorta kinda
334
00:15:47,817 --> 00:15:49,992
♫ He makes me smile a lot
335
00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:51,215
♫ Especially at mealtime
336
00:15:51,215 --> 00:15:54,916
♫ It makes me feel I'm sort of smart
337
00:15:54,916 --> 00:15:56,627
♫ Is he special
338
00:15:56,627 --> 00:15:58,088
♫ He's delightful
339
00:15:58,088 --> 00:15:59,934
♫ And romantic
340
00:15:59,934 --> 00:16:03,258
♫ Yes, and spiteful
341
00:16:03,258 --> 00:16:07,524
♫ But yet it seems that so am I
342
00:16:07,524 --> 00:16:10,669
♫ Just enjoy what you can
343
00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:14,836
♫ Love the boy, not the man
♫ Man
344
00:16:20,936 --> 00:16:23,853
(audience laughs)
345
00:16:28,902 --> 00:16:30,904
♫ Sorta stylish
346
00:16:30,904 --> 00:16:32,468
♫ Kinda very
347
00:16:32,468 --> 00:16:34,638
♫ Mmm, very very sorta
348
00:16:34,638 --> 00:16:38,373
♫ And kind of hard to describe
349
00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:41,437
- Yes, yes, I think that is very true.
350
00:16:41,437 --> 00:16:43,119
♫ When he's naked
- Yes?
351
00:16:43,119 --> 00:16:44,083
♫ Does he thrill you
- Yes!
352
00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:45,157
♫ Is he vicious
- Yes.
353
00:16:45,157 --> 00:16:46,821
♫ Would he kill you
354
00:16:46,821 --> 00:16:48,254
- Yes.
(audience laughs)
355
00:16:48,254 --> 00:16:51,653
♫ I think he's sorta kinda mean
356
00:16:51,653 --> 00:16:54,054
♫ But I love him, and I need it
357
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:56,562
♫ If he loved me, I'd concede it
358
00:16:56,562 --> 00:16:59,194
♫ Don't despise what you feel
359
00:16:59,194 --> 00:17:00,860
♫ Love the friend
360
00:17:00,860 --> 00:17:05,027
♫ Not the heel
♫ Heel
361
00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:11,569
(audience laughs)
362
00:17:14,057 --> 00:17:16,506
♫ He's sometimes worthless
363
00:17:16,506 --> 00:17:18,377
♫ Sometimes evil
364
00:17:18,377 --> 00:17:21,294
♫ Sometimes smarmy
365
00:17:24,872 --> 00:17:26,890
- Part Two.
(audience laughs)
366
00:17:26,890 --> 00:17:28,221
♫ Explore, Mr. Marvin
367
00:17:28,221 --> 00:17:29,441
♫ Your core, Mr. Marvin
368
00:17:29,441 --> 00:17:33,199
♫ Note how your wife's, your
ex-wife's, subtle glories
369
00:17:33,199 --> 00:17:35,195
♫ Coupled with her tragic stories
370
00:17:35,195 --> 00:17:38,511
♫ Move me in unreported ways
371
00:17:38,511 --> 00:17:41,126
♫ At her very first session
372
00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:43,795
♫ She made quite an impression
373
00:17:43,795 --> 00:17:44,877
♫ Do you mind that
374
00:17:44,877 --> 00:17:46,497
♫ She was here to speak of Jason
375
00:17:46,497 --> 00:17:47,525
♫ And I find that
376
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:50,079
♫ I hope Jason acts out more
377
00:17:50,079 --> 00:17:54,246
♫ 'Cause there's a few more
things we need explored
378
00:17:55,752 --> 00:17:57,649
- Good.
- Good.
379
00:17:57,649 --> 00:17:59,477
♫ You said she was withholding
380
00:17:59,477 --> 00:18:00,310
- Right.
381
00:18:00,310 --> 00:18:01,908
♫ Well that's not quite true
- No?
382
00:18:01,908 --> 00:18:04,314
♫ Perhaps she held back love from you
383
00:18:04,314 --> 00:18:05,189
- Did she really?
384
00:18:05,189 --> 00:18:07,578
♫ I just know what I'm told
385
00:18:07,578 --> 00:18:10,925
♫ 'Cause when I met your wife,
she was anything but cold
386
00:18:10,925 --> 00:18:14,514
♫ It wasn't quite precise
to say that she was ice
387
00:18:14,514 --> 00:18:19,105
♫ When I met your wife, she was very nice
388
00:18:19,105 --> 00:18:19,970
♫ Very, very, very
389
00:18:19,970 --> 00:18:22,391
♫ Was she faithful, be objective
390
00:18:22,391 --> 00:18:23,224
- Yes.
391
00:18:23,224 --> 00:18:24,347
♫ She was faithful
- Yes.
392
00:18:24,347 --> 00:18:28,430
♫ And you wanted to impress her
393
00:18:29,825 --> 00:18:32,365
♫ Yes sir, yes sir
394
00:18:32,365 --> 00:18:35,749
♫ But impress her I did not
395
00:18:35,749 --> 00:18:38,688
♫ Did she sweat a lot
- What?
396
00:18:38,688 --> 00:18:40,165
♫ Was she ruthless
- Huh?
397
00:18:40,165 --> 00:18:41,904
♫ Narcissistic?
- Who?
398
00:18:41,904 --> 00:18:45,430
♫ Let me vary the mood
399
00:18:45,430 --> 00:18:46,680
- Yes, please.
400
00:18:47,871 --> 00:18:50,698
♫ Does she sleep in the nude
401
00:18:50,698 --> 00:18:53,615
(audience laughs)
402
00:18:58,631 --> 00:18:59,826
- No.
403
00:18:59,826 --> 00:19:01,993
- No, does not sleep nude.
404
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:07,162
Okay, going on.
405
00:19:08,547 --> 00:19:09,940
♫ I have questions
406
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:11,332
♫ That should probably go unanswered
407
00:19:11,332 --> 00:19:12,695
♫ But there're questions
408
00:19:12,695 --> 00:19:15,274
♫ Like, does she wear a negligé
409
00:19:15,274 --> 00:19:19,441
♫ Could you blow and it would blow away
410
00:19:24,214 --> 00:19:27,456
♫ Since the session's nearly through
411
00:19:27,456 --> 00:19:31,623
♫ Tell me, what is going on with you
412
00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:35,554
- Oh so now you're interested in me?
413
00:19:35,554 --> 00:19:36,637
- Of course.
414
00:19:38,078 --> 00:19:39,245
- Part Three.
415
00:19:44,020 --> 00:19:45,996
- My son's distressing.
416
00:19:45,996 --> 00:19:47,846
♫ My father's snide
417
00:19:47,846 --> 00:19:49,613
♫ I'm convalescing
418
00:19:49,613 --> 00:19:51,938
♫ He's morbid and dissatisfied
419
00:19:51,938 --> 00:19:55,271
♫ What should I do now
420
00:19:58,205 --> 00:20:00,296
♫ He loves another
421
00:20:00,296 --> 00:20:02,124
♫ I agree
422
00:20:02,124 --> 00:20:03,983
♫ I love my mother
423
00:20:03,983 --> 00:20:06,483
♫ Why not me?
424
00:20:10,456 --> 00:20:12,310
♫ We go to ball games
425
00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:14,365
♫ The ball is tossed
426
00:20:14,365 --> 00:20:16,185
♫ The pitcher's handsome
427
00:20:16,185 --> 00:20:18,598
♫ Yeah, and our team lost
428
00:20:18,598 --> 00:20:20,357
♫ Is that my fault, though
429
00:20:20,357 --> 00:20:24,274
♫ Should I be blamed for that
430
00:20:26,855 --> 00:20:28,504
♫ Explore museums
431
00:20:28,504 --> 00:20:30,395
♫ Admire art
432
00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:32,345
♫ We stand together
433
00:20:32,345 --> 00:20:34,604
♫ But we stand there looking miles apart
434
00:20:34,604 --> 00:20:36,551
♫ How do I reach him?
435
00:20:36,551 --> 00:20:38,537
♫ What words of wisdom?
436
00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:41,954
♫ What should I do now?
437
00:20:45,450 --> 00:20:49,033
♫ My father says that love
438
00:20:50,538 --> 00:20:55,406
♫ Is the most beautiful thing in the world
439
00:20:55,406 --> 00:20:58,030
♫ I think games are
440
00:20:58,030 --> 00:21:00,064
♫ I think chess is the most
441
00:21:00,064 --> 00:21:02,897
♫ Beautiful thing
442
00:21:06,514 --> 00:21:08,764
♫ Not love
443
00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:18,514
- Marvin at the psychiatrist,
a three-part mini opera.
444
00:21:18,514 --> 00:21:19,681
- Oh, the end.
445
00:21:22,209 --> 00:21:25,209
(audience applauds)
446
00:21:27,174 --> 00:21:28,853
♫ My father's a homo
447
00:21:28,853 --> 00:21:33,422
♫ My mother's not thrilled at all
448
00:21:33,422 --> 00:21:34,896
♫ Father homo
449
00:21:34,896 --> 00:21:36,828
♫ What about chromosomes
450
00:21:36,828 --> 00:21:38,186
♫ Do they carry
451
00:21:38,186 --> 00:21:39,343
♫ Will they carry
452
00:21:39,343 --> 00:21:41,367
♫ Who's the homo now
453
00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:44,788
♫ My father said that one day
I'll grow up to be President
454
00:21:44,788 --> 00:21:47,699
♫ And that idea's not so wild
455
00:21:47,699 --> 00:21:50,774
♫ I don't live the life of a normal child
456
00:21:50,774 --> 00:21:52,629
- Jason, honey, I need to check--
457
00:21:52,629 --> 00:21:53,781
- Jason, I need you to--
458
00:21:53,781 --> 00:21:55,781
- Mom!
- Jason!
459
00:21:56,791 --> 00:21:59,726
♫ 'Cause I'm too smart for my own good
460
00:21:59,726 --> 00:22:04,024
♫ And I'm too good for
my sorry little life
461
00:22:04,024 --> 00:22:06,320
♫ My mother's no wife
462
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:10,487
♫ And my father's no man, no man at all
463
00:22:18,328 --> 00:22:21,647
- Honey, why don't you go out and play?
464
00:22:21,647 --> 00:22:22,480
- No.
465
00:22:23,563 --> 00:22:27,232
♫ Sweetheart, I worry, sweetheart, I do
466
00:22:27,232 --> 00:22:30,886
♫ I worry a lot I worry
a lot I worry a lot
467
00:22:30,886 --> 00:22:33,172
- I could take you to the Jewish center?
468
00:22:33,172 --> 00:22:35,628
(imitating vomiting)
469
00:22:35,628 --> 00:22:38,299
♫ I think you like playing chess alone
470
00:22:38,299 --> 00:22:39,604
♫ That's not normal
471
00:22:39,604 --> 00:22:42,053
♫ What is normal?
472
00:22:42,053 --> 00:22:43,693
- I wouldn't know.
473
00:22:43,693 --> 00:22:46,005
♫ Why don't you speak on the telephone
474
00:22:46,005 --> 00:22:48,993
♫ With anyone, just get a friend, anyone
475
00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:52,431
♫ Darling, please, see a psychiatrist
476
00:22:52,431 --> 00:22:56,472
♫ He's quite a guy and
I admire how he acts
477
00:22:56,472 --> 00:23:00,078
♫ No one is saying you're a sick neurotic
478
00:23:00,078 --> 00:23:02,326
♫ But you could find some help
479
00:23:02,326 --> 00:23:03,492
♫ Hear me out, please
480
00:23:03,492 --> 00:23:04,752
♫ Yes, you could find some help
481
00:23:04,752 --> 00:23:09,674
♫ He could help you realize
how confused you are
482
00:23:09,674 --> 00:23:10,684
♫ Yes, it's very clear
483
00:23:10,684 --> 00:23:15,029
♫ Daddy's sincere but a schmo!
484
00:23:15,029 --> 00:23:18,929
♫ You and I must trust our emotions
485
00:23:18,929 --> 00:23:23,096
♫ Make no commotions, will you go?
486
00:23:25,841 --> 00:23:26,674
- No!
487
00:23:27,791 --> 00:23:31,958
♫ Jason, please see a psychiatrist
488
00:23:32,930 --> 00:23:36,291
♫ He's just a psychiatrist
489
00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:40,458
♫ I'll pay the bill until you're old
490
00:23:42,707 --> 00:23:44,474
♫ Darling please listen
♫ Jason
491
00:23:44,474 --> 00:23:45,951
♫ to your father here
492
00:23:45,951 --> 00:23:47,204
♫ please see a psychiatrist
♫ He's not a genius type
493
00:23:47,204 --> 00:23:49,083
♫ Lord knows, but he knows what's true.
494
00:23:49,083 --> 00:23:50,916
♫ He's just a psychiatrist
♫ I will not go
495
00:23:50,916 --> 00:23:52,316
♫ I'll pay the bill until you're old
496
00:23:52,316 --> 00:23:54,102
♫ He chose a man who I
think knows the answers
497
00:23:54,102 --> 00:23:54,935
♫ To all your problems
♫ Never never never
498
00:23:54,935 --> 00:23:56,225
♫ Mendel understands
♫ Never never never
499
00:23:56,225 --> 00:23:57,325
♫ What's bothering you
♫ Never never never
500
00:23:57,325 --> 00:23:58,158
- Forget it!
501
00:23:58,158 --> 00:24:01,443
♫ What a mess this is, this family
502
00:24:01,443 --> 00:24:05,980
♫ Experts can see this is so
503
00:24:05,980 --> 00:24:10,038
♫ Photographs can't capture our magic
504
00:24:10,038 --> 00:24:12,681
♫ We're simply tragic
505
00:24:12,681 --> 00:24:15,264
♫ Will you go
506
00:24:17,778 --> 00:24:19,384
- No.
507
00:24:19,384 --> 00:24:21,899
♫ Jason, please see a psychiatrist
508
00:24:21,899 --> 00:24:23,466
♫ He's not
♫ I won't say boo
509
00:24:23,466 --> 00:24:25,676
♫ -exorbitant
♫ And he's very smart
510
00:24:25,676 --> 00:24:28,003
♫ If intelligence were the only criterion
511
00:24:28,003 --> 00:24:30,523
♫ Then I wouldn't really
need a psychiatrist, would I
512
00:24:30,523 --> 00:24:31,356
- No.
513
00:24:31,356 --> 00:24:32,189
♫ Would I
514
00:24:32,189 --> 00:24:33,022
- No.
515
00:24:33,022 --> 00:24:35,847
♫ Just because you failed as parents
516
00:24:35,847 --> 00:24:37,329
(Trina gasps, audience murmurs)
517
00:24:37,329 --> 00:24:39,831
♫ Get thee to a psychiatrist
518
00:24:39,831 --> 00:24:41,081
- Hey, kid, listen.
519
00:24:41,081 --> 00:24:43,497
♫ I don't need
♫ He needs a psychiatrist
520
00:24:43,497 --> 00:24:45,367
♫ I want
♫ A psychiatrist
521
00:24:45,367 --> 00:24:46,930
♫ I wanna speak with Whizzer
522
00:24:46,930 --> 00:24:47,763
♫ Speak with whom
523
00:24:47,763 --> 00:24:49,194
♫ With Whizzer
524
00:24:49,194 --> 00:24:51,665
♫ With Whizzer
♫ With Whizzer
525
00:24:51,665 --> 00:24:54,375
♫ With Whizzer
526
00:24:54,375 --> 00:24:57,722
- Oh my God.
(audience laughs)
527
00:24:57,722 --> 00:25:00,555
♫ Whizzer Whizzer
528
00:25:02,617 --> 00:25:05,450
♫ Whizzer Whizzer
529
00:25:12,245 --> 00:25:17,046
♫ Whizzer, do you think I
should see a psychiatrist
530
00:25:17,046 --> 00:25:19,796
(Whizzer laughs)
531
00:25:21,151 --> 00:25:24,454
♫ I'm not sure, Jason
532
00:25:24,454 --> 00:25:27,371
(audience laughs)
533
00:25:32,543 --> 00:25:35,376
♫ Jason, maybe so
534
00:25:37,326 --> 00:25:40,409
♫ Absolutely, Jason
535
00:25:44,536 --> 00:25:47,650
♫ Okay, I'll go
♫ He'll go
536
00:25:47,650 --> 00:25:50,177
♫ I'll go
♫ He'll go
537
00:25:50,177 --> 00:25:52,021
♫ If he comes here
♫ If he comes here
538
00:25:52,021 --> 00:25:54,168
♫ He might come here
539
00:25:54,168 --> 00:25:56,446
♫ They don't make house calls
540
00:25:56,446 --> 00:25:58,400
(audience laughs)
541
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,808
(high-pitched beeping)
542
00:26:00,808 --> 00:26:01,641
- Oh!
543
00:26:03,100 --> 00:26:05,385
♫ Late for dinner, late again
544
00:26:05,385 --> 00:26:07,148
♫ Late for dinner, late again
545
00:26:07,148 --> 00:26:09,040
♫ Late for dinner, late again
546
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:11,382
♫ Late for dinner, late, late, late, late
547
00:26:11,382 --> 00:26:13,433
♫ Late for dinner, late again
548
00:26:13,433 --> 00:26:15,331
♫ Late for dinner, late again
549
00:26:15,331 --> 00:26:17,201
♫ Late for dinner, late again
550
00:26:17,201 --> 00:26:19,521
♫ Late for dinner, late, late, late, late
551
00:26:19,521 --> 00:26:22,252
♫ Whizzer's supposed to always be here
552
00:26:22,252 --> 00:26:24,909
♫ Making dinner, set to screw
553
00:26:24,909 --> 00:26:27,019
♫ That's what pretty boys should do
554
00:26:27,019 --> 00:26:29,761
♫ Check their hairlines, make the dinner
555
00:26:29,761 --> 00:26:32,482
♫ And love me
556
00:26:32,482 --> 00:26:34,587
♫ This is going nowhere and fast, Whizzer
557
00:26:34,587 --> 00:26:37,197
♫ This little thing that
we have will not last
558
00:26:37,197 --> 00:26:39,919
♫ Don't feel responsible,
after all, it's through
559
00:26:39,919 --> 00:26:40,833
♫ I'm not responsible
560
00:26:40,833 --> 00:26:42,174
♫ Life can be wonderful
561
00:26:42,174 --> 00:26:43,387
♫ Isn't this wonderful
562
00:26:43,387 --> 00:26:45,854
♫ And this had better
come to a stop, Whizzer
563
00:26:45,854 --> 00:26:49,080
♫ Now, Whizzer, ciao, Whizzer, bend
564
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:50,815
♫ This had better come to an end
565
00:26:50,815 --> 00:26:53,159
♫ I was supposed to make the dinner
566
00:26:53,159 --> 00:26:55,670
♫ Make it pretty on his plate
567
00:26:55,670 --> 00:26:57,793
♫ Every wife should pull her weight
568
00:26:57,793 --> 00:27:01,960
♫ Have it ready, make
it tasty and love him
569
00:27:03,011 --> 00:27:05,413
♫ This had better come to a stop, doctor
570
00:27:05,413 --> 00:27:07,987
♫ This has been a tragic and horrible flop
571
00:27:07,987 --> 00:27:09,269
♫ Don't feel responsible
572
00:27:09,269 --> 00:27:10,727
♫ After all, it's through
573
00:27:10,727 --> 00:27:11,560
♫ Who is responsible
574
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:12,855
♫ Don't ask me questions
575
00:27:12,855 --> 00:27:14,248
♫ I'm frightened of questions
576
00:27:14,248 --> 00:27:16,683
♫ But grateful that it's
come to a stop, Trina
577
00:27:16,683 --> 00:27:19,881
♫ Smile, Trina, I'll help you mend
578
00:27:19,881 --> 00:27:22,046
♫ I met this man today
579
00:27:22,046 --> 00:27:23,216
♫ He wasn't very smart
580
00:27:23,216 --> 00:27:24,630
♫ But he was rich, Marvin
581
00:27:24,630 --> 00:27:25,762
♫ Which, Marvin
582
00:27:25,762 --> 00:27:27,719
♫ Do you prefer I lust for
583
00:27:27,719 --> 00:27:29,258
♫ Brains or money
584
00:27:29,258 --> 00:27:30,091
♫ Brains
585
00:27:30,091 --> 00:27:32,223
♫ I'm not so rich
♫ Brains or money
586
00:27:32,223 --> 00:27:35,712
♫ But, hell, I'm smart
587
00:27:35,712 --> 00:27:36,545
♫ Love me
588
00:27:36,545 --> 00:27:37,378
- No.
- No!
589
00:27:37,378 --> 00:27:38,211
♫ Love me, please
590
00:27:38,211 --> 00:27:40,936
♫ Or break my heart
591
00:27:40,936 --> 00:27:42,441
♫ This is all very neat
592
00:27:42,441 --> 00:27:43,274
♫ This is all very neat
593
00:27:43,274 --> 00:27:44,933
♫ This is all very smart
594
00:27:44,933 --> 00:27:46,330
♫ This is all very smart
595
00:27:46,330 --> 00:27:48,915
♫ This had better come to a stop, Mendel
596
00:27:48,915 --> 00:27:50,023
♫ Don't touch me
597
00:27:50,023 --> 00:27:51,911
♫ Don't condescend
598
00:27:51,911 --> 00:27:52,776
♫ This had better come
599
00:27:52,776 --> 00:27:54,450
♫ This had better come to a
600
00:27:54,450 --> 00:27:55,825
♫ This, this, this, this
601
00:27:55,825 --> 00:27:58,308
♫ This had better come to an end
602
00:27:58,308 --> 00:28:01,724
♫ This had better come to an end
603
00:28:01,724 --> 00:28:02,862
♫ Chop chop chop chop chop
604
00:28:02,862 --> 00:28:03,695
♫ I chopped it
605
00:28:03,695 --> 00:28:04,528
♫ I served his food
606
00:28:04,528 --> 00:28:05,817
♫ The jackass forced me
607
00:28:05,817 --> 00:28:06,871
♫ Chop chop chop chop
608
00:28:06,871 --> 00:28:07,739
♫ Chop chop chop chop
609
00:28:07,739 --> 00:28:10,543
♫ And still the bastard divorced me
610
00:28:10,543 --> 00:28:11,376
♫ Chop chop chop chop
611
00:28:11,376 --> 00:28:12,209
♫ Chop chop chop chop
612
00:28:12,209 --> 00:28:13,859
♫ Late for dinner, late again
613
00:28:13,859 --> 00:28:15,010
♫ Late for dinner, late again
♫ It isn't like he says
614
00:28:15,010 --> 00:28:16,440
♫ Late for dinner, late again
♫ You probably hurt his pride
615
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,819
♫ Late for dinner, late again
♫ He's got to have it all
616
00:28:18,819 --> 00:28:22,956
♫ He's like a baby who's denied
617
00:28:22,956 --> 00:28:25,109
♫ This had better come to a stop, Marvin
618
00:28:25,109 --> 00:28:27,283
♫ This has been a lousy but fabulous flop
619
00:28:27,283 --> 00:28:29,779
♫ Why is it always
ourselves who have to change
620
00:28:29,779 --> 00:28:31,391
- This is incredibly boring!
621
00:28:31,391 --> 00:28:33,381
♫ You've got a temper
that redefines temper
622
00:28:33,381 --> 00:28:35,993
♫ And this had better
come to a stop, Marvin
623
00:28:35,993 --> 00:28:38,984
♫ Why, Marvin, try, Marvin, bend
624
00:28:38,984 --> 00:28:39,978
♫ This had better come
625
00:28:39,978 --> 00:28:41,670
♫ This had better come to a
626
00:28:41,670 --> 00:28:42,563
♫ This this this this
627
00:28:42,563 --> 00:28:44,271
♫ This had better come to an end
628
00:28:44,271 --> 00:28:47,532
♫ This had better come to an end
629
00:28:47,532 --> 00:28:51,615
♫ This had better come to an end
630
00:28:53,500 --> 00:28:56,500
(audience applauds)
631
00:28:58,740 --> 00:29:01,823
(upbeat piano music)
632
00:29:20,890 --> 00:29:24,415
♫ I'd like to be a princess on a throne
633
00:29:24,415 --> 00:29:28,863
♫ To have a country I can call my own
634
00:29:28,863 --> 00:29:30,974
♫ And a king
635
00:29:30,974 --> 00:29:35,016
♫ Who's lusty and requires a fling
636
00:29:35,016 --> 00:29:38,600
♫ With a female thing
637
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,809
♫ Great, men will be men
638
00:29:41,809 --> 00:29:45,641
♫ Let me turn on the gas
639
00:29:45,641 --> 00:29:48,866
♫ I caught them in the den with
640
00:29:48,866 --> 00:29:52,485
♫ Marvin grabbing Whizzer's ass
641
00:29:52,485 --> 00:29:55,925
♫ Oh sure, I'm sure,
he's sure he did his best
642
00:29:55,925 --> 00:29:59,314
♫ I mean he meant to be what he was not
643
00:29:59,314 --> 00:30:02,634
♫ The things he was are
things which I forgot
644
00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:03,467
♫ He's a queen
645
00:30:03,467 --> 00:30:04,369
♫ I'm a queen
646
00:30:04,369 --> 00:30:05,816
♫ Where is my crown
647
00:30:05,816 --> 00:30:07,413
♫ I'm breaking down
(audience laughs)
648
00:30:07,413 --> 00:30:08,810
♫ I'm breaking down
649
00:30:08,810 --> 00:30:10,330
♫ My life's not pretty
650
00:30:10,330 --> 00:30:12,193
♫ And my kid seems like an idiot to me
651
00:30:12,193 --> 00:30:13,796
♫ I mean that's sick
652
00:30:13,796 --> 00:30:15,591
♫ I mean he's great
653
00:30:15,591 --> 00:30:17,240
♫ It's me who is the matter
654
00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:19,614
♫ Talking madder than the maddest hatter
655
00:30:19,614 --> 00:30:23,079
♫ If I repeat one more word
656
00:30:23,079 --> 00:30:26,685
♫ I swear I'll lose my brain
657
00:30:26,685 --> 00:30:30,352
♫ Oh, what else should I explain
658
00:30:30,352 --> 00:30:31,546
♫ Oh, yes it's true
659
00:30:31,546 --> 00:30:33,975
♫ I can cry on cue but so can you
660
00:30:33,975 --> 00:30:35,604
♫ I'm breaking down
661
00:30:35,604 --> 00:30:39,521
♫ I'm breaking down down, down
662
00:30:41,116 --> 00:30:44,438
♫ You ask me "Is it fun
to cry over nothing"
663
00:30:44,438 --> 00:30:48,277
♫ It is, I'm breaking down
(audience laughs)
664
00:30:48,277 --> 00:30:51,714
(laughing) No, I don't have
time for a breakdown now,
665
00:30:51,714 --> 00:30:55,536
I've got to get back to
my banana carrot surprise.
666
00:30:55,536 --> 00:30:57,555
Okay.
(audience laughs)
667
00:30:57,555 --> 00:30:59,681
This isn't my first bris.
668
00:30:59,681 --> 00:31:02,389
Just the tip!
(audience laughs)
669
00:31:02,389 --> 00:31:03,889
Oh, what the heck?
670
00:31:07,175 --> 00:31:10,581
♫ Now let's consider what I might do next
671
00:31:10,581 --> 00:31:14,773
♫ I hate admitting I've become perplexed
672
00:31:14,773 --> 00:31:16,902
♫ I'm bereaved
673
00:31:16,902 --> 00:31:21,242
♫ I've cried, I've shook,
I've yelled, I've heaved
674
00:31:21,242 --> 00:31:24,751
♫ I have been deceived
675
00:31:24,751 --> 00:31:27,865
♫ As enemies go
676
00:31:27,865 --> 00:31:31,768
♫ Whizzer is not so bad
677
00:31:31,768 --> 00:31:34,644
♫ It's just he's so damn happy
678
00:31:34,644 --> 00:31:37,858
♫ That it makes me so damn mad
679
00:31:37,858 --> 00:31:41,844
♫ I want to hate him but I really can't
680
00:31:41,844 --> 00:31:45,270
♫ It's like a nightmare
how this all proceeds
681
00:31:45,270 --> 00:31:48,423
♫ I hope that Whizzer
don't fulfill his needs
682
00:31:48,423 --> 00:31:50,387
♫ Don't is wrong, sing along
683
00:31:50,387 --> 00:31:51,450
♫ What was the noun?
684
00:31:51,450 --> 00:31:52,813
♫ I'm breaking down
685
00:31:52,813 --> 00:31:54,592
♫ I'm breaking down
686
00:31:54,592 --> 00:31:56,442
♫ I'll soon redecorate these stalls
687
00:31:56,442 --> 00:31:57,985
♫ I'd like some padding on the walls
688
00:31:57,985 --> 00:31:59,490
♫ And also pills
689
00:31:59,490 --> 00:32:01,123
♫ I wanna sleep
690
00:32:01,123 --> 00:32:02,953
♫ Sure, things'll probably worsen
691
00:32:02,953 --> 00:32:07,211
♫ But it's not like
I'm some healthy person
692
00:32:07,211 --> 00:32:09,122
(audience laughs)
693
00:32:09,122 --> 00:32:12,283
♫ I've rethought my talks with Marv
694
00:32:12,283 --> 00:32:16,326
♫ And one fact does emerge
695
00:32:16,326 --> 00:32:19,513
♫ I think I like his shrink
696
00:32:19,513 --> 00:32:22,498
♫ So that is why I might turn to drink
697
00:32:22,498 --> 00:32:24,812
♫ I'm on the brink of breaking down
698
00:32:24,812 --> 00:32:28,729
♫ I'm breaking down down, down
699
00:32:30,353 --> 00:32:33,442
♫ I only want to love
a man who can love me
700
00:32:33,442 --> 00:32:35,823
♫ Or like me or help me
701
00:32:35,823 --> 00:32:37,263
- Help me!
702
00:32:37,263 --> 00:32:40,703
♫ Marvin was never mine
703
00:32:40,703 --> 00:32:43,991
♫ He took his meetings
in the boys' latrine
704
00:32:43,991 --> 00:32:45,403
♫ I used to cry
705
00:32:45,403 --> 00:32:46,357
♫ He'd make a scene
706
00:32:46,357 --> 00:32:50,999
♫ I'd rather die than
dry-clean Marvin's wedding gown
707
00:32:50,999 --> 00:32:52,860
♫ I'm breaking down
708
00:32:52,860 --> 00:32:54,656
♫ I'm breaking down
709
00:32:54,656 --> 00:32:56,072
♫ It's so upsetting when you've found
710
00:32:56,072 --> 00:32:57,715
♫ That what's rectangular is round
711
00:32:57,715 --> 00:32:59,169
♫ I mean it stinks
712
00:32:59,169 --> 00:33:02,475
♫ I mean he's queer and
me, I'm just a freak
713
00:33:02,475 --> 00:33:04,822
♫ Who needs it maybe every other week
714
00:33:04,822 --> 00:33:06,826
- Oh my God that feels so good.
715
00:33:06,826 --> 00:33:10,168
(audience laughs)
716
00:33:10,168 --> 00:33:13,250
♫ I've rethought the fun we've had
717
00:33:13,250 --> 00:33:16,833
♫ And one fact does emerge
718
00:33:18,033 --> 00:33:21,842
♫ I've played the foolish clown
719
00:33:21,842 --> 00:33:26,009
♫ The almost virgin who sing
this dirge is on the verge
720
00:33:27,076 --> 00:33:28,633
♫ Of breaking down
721
00:33:28,633 --> 00:33:32,550
♫ I'm breaking down down, down
722
00:33:33,841 --> 00:33:38,008
♫ The only thing that's
breaking up is my family
723
00:33:40,146 --> 00:33:43,565
♫ The only thing that's
breaking up is my family
724
00:33:43,565 --> 00:33:47,232
♫ But me, I'm breaking down
725
00:33:52,711 --> 00:33:56,711
(audience cheers and applauds)
726
00:33:58,844 --> 00:34:01,511
(phone ringing)
727
00:34:02,462 --> 00:34:03,488
- Hello?
728
00:34:03,488 --> 00:34:05,528
♫ Dr. Mendel please
729
00:34:05,528 --> 00:34:07,798
- Yeah, this is Mendel Weisenbachfeld.
730
00:34:07,798 --> 00:34:10,460
(audience laughs)
731
00:34:10,460 --> 00:34:13,728
♫ Dr. Mendel, vis-a-vis what Marvin did
732
00:34:13,728 --> 00:34:15,441
♫ Or rather, hasn't done
733
00:34:15,441 --> 00:34:17,035
- Trina, how are you?
734
00:34:17,035 --> 00:34:20,702
♫ You must exorcise a devil
735
00:34:22,010 --> 00:34:26,048
♫ 'Cause it inhabits Marvin's son
736
00:34:26,048 --> 00:34:27,985
- Sure, sure, yes, um...
737
00:34:27,985 --> 00:34:29,428
♫ Please come to our house
738
00:34:29,428 --> 00:34:30,983
♫ And talk a bit with Jason
739
00:34:30,983 --> 00:34:32,357
♫ It's a slight exaggeration
740
00:34:32,357 --> 00:34:34,028
♫ But he's sick in the head
741
00:34:34,028 --> 00:34:36,494
♫ Oh, sure, sometimes
you'll think he's wonderful
742
00:34:36,494 --> 00:34:38,491
♫ But he's wild
743
00:34:38,491 --> 00:34:41,160
♫ I'm sure he's Marvin's child
744
00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:43,259
♫ What should I say to the man
745
00:34:43,259 --> 00:34:44,755
♫ Should I be mean to the man
746
00:34:44,755 --> 00:34:45,622
♫ Just be yourself
747
00:34:45,622 --> 00:34:46,467
♫ I'll be myself
748
00:34:46,467 --> 00:34:47,879
♫ Stop asking questions be yourself
749
00:34:47,879 --> 00:34:48,712
♫ I'll be myself
750
00:34:48,712 --> 00:34:50,866
♫ Don't be disgusting be yourself
751
00:34:50,866 --> 00:34:52,361
(doorbell buzzes)
752
00:34:52,361 --> 00:34:54,247
- Okay, go, go, go.
753
00:34:54,247 --> 00:34:56,095
♫ Hello to my house
754
00:34:56,095 --> 00:34:57,593
♫ So good of you to travel
755
00:34:57,593 --> 00:34:59,107
♫ On account of my unraveling
756
00:34:59,107 --> 00:35:00,592
♫ Now let's eat some food
757
00:35:00,592 --> 00:35:01,540
- Let's talk.
758
00:35:01,540 --> 00:35:03,249
♫ I think, before the food gets cold
759
00:35:03,249 --> 00:35:04,668
♫ Time to jaw
760
00:35:04,668 --> 00:35:08,102
♫ First, I'll extend my paw
761
00:35:08,102 --> 00:35:10,626
♫ I think she's holding it so tenderly
762
00:35:10,626 --> 00:35:11,654
♫ I'll probably faint
763
00:35:11,654 --> 00:35:13,131
♫ If so
764
00:35:13,131 --> 00:35:14,937
♫ I'd rather die in this position
765
00:35:14,937 --> 00:35:16,358
♫ Than remain the saint
766
00:35:16,358 --> 00:35:18,307
♫ You think you know
767
00:35:18,307 --> 00:35:21,845
♫ I'm not, although
768
00:35:21,845 --> 00:35:26,012
♫ I must be showing
better-than-the-norm restraint
769
00:35:30,100 --> 00:35:32,809
♫ Oh, what a lovely table
770
00:35:32,809 --> 00:35:35,819
♫ Such a romantic table
771
00:35:35,819 --> 00:35:37,370
♫ Knives in place lots of space
772
00:35:37,370 --> 00:35:39,077
♫ To spread out and eat
773
00:35:39,077 --> 00:35:43,244
♫ Notice how our eyes discreetly
774
00:35:46,947 --> 00:35:48,186
♫ Please come to our house
775
00:35:48,186 --> 00:35:49,923
♫ The dinner's on the table
776
00:35:49,923 --> 00:35:51,530
♫ We will talk if we are able to
777
00:35:51,530 --> 00:35:52,904
♫ But probably we won't
778
00:35:52,904 --> 00:35:55,633
♫ We sit, the kid looks pretty miserable
779
00:35:55,633 --> 00:35:57,344
♫ Uninspired
780
00:35:57,344 --> 00:35:58,980
♫ Oh ain't that the truth
781
00:35:58,980 --> 00:36:00,783
♫ We're tired
782
00:36:00,783 --> 00:36:02,816
♫ I think the room looks
just a wee bit small
783
00:36:02,816 --> 00:36:03,774
♫ This girl agrees
784
00:36:03,774 --> 00:36:04,866
♫ Adieu
785
00:36:04,866 --> 00:36:06,243
♫ I'll wait outside and hold the food
786
00:36:06,243 --> 00:36:08,963
♫ I do not eat at all at times like these
787
00:36:08,963 --> 00:36:10,547
♫ The worst is through
788
00:36:10,547 --> 00:36:13,364
♫ There's work to do
♫ I'll wait
789
00:36:13,364 --> 00:36:15,550
♫ She'll wait
♫ They'll wait
790
00:36:15,550 --> 00:36:18,550
♫ I'll wait for you
791
00:36:28,224 --> 00:36:30,585
♫ Mr. Mendel
792
00:36:30,585 --> 00:36:34,225
♫ I get apoplexy thinking of my father
793
00:36:34,225 --> 00:36:38,278
♫ I resemble him in far too many ways
794
00:36:38,278 --> 00:36:41,195
♫ His sad demeanor
795
00:36:42,726 --> 00:36:46,136
♫ The way he acts the swine
796
00:36:46,136 --> 00:36:50,303
♫ At least his room is cleaner than mine
797
00:36:53,855 --> 00:36:55,966
♫ Is it fatal
798
00:36:55,966 --> 00:36:59,926
♫ Do you see real similarities between us
799
00:36:59,926 --> 00:37:02,837
♫ He and Whizzer live like
800
00:37:02,837 --> 00:37:05,180
♫ Well, I think it's clear
801
00:37:05,180 --> 00:37:07,100
♫ What do I do, what do I say
802
00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:08,970
♫ How do I ask, what do I hope for
803
00:37:08,970 --> 00:37:09,803
♫ Is it my mind
804
00:37:09,803 --> 00:37:10,636
♫ Love isn't free
805
00:37:10,636 --> 00:37:14,332
♫ If love isn't blind what do I see
806
00:37:14,332 --> 00:37:16,661
♫ Stop, look around you
807
00:37:16,661 --> 00:37:18,552
♫ No one's screaming at you
808
00:37:18,552 --> 00:37:20,344
♫ So you feel all right
for about ten minutes
809
00:37:20,344 --> 00:37:21,922
♫ If you feel all right for ten minutes
810
00:37:21,922 --> 00:37:23,797
♫ Feel all right for twenty minutes
811
00:37:23,797 --> 00:37:25,517
♫ Feel all right for forty minutes
812
00:37:25,517 --> 00:37:26,817
♫ Drop it and smile
813
00:37:26,817 --> 00:37:29,458
♫ Why don't you feel all right
for the rest of your life
814
00:37:29,458 --> 00:37:32,749
♫ Why don't you feel all right
for the rest of your life
815
00:37:32,749 --> 00:37:36,916
♫ Why don't you feel all right
for the rest of your life
816
00:37:39,089 --> 00:37:41,899
(audience laughs)
817
00:37:41,899 --> 00:37:43,173
- Is this therapy?
818
00:37:43,173 --> 00:37:46,173
(audience laughs)
819
00:37:46,173 --> 00:37:47,437
♫ Chop chop chop chop chop
820
00:37:47,437 --> 00:37:48,270
♫ I chopped it
821
00:37:48,270 --> 00:37:49,633
♫ It's a gourmet version
of chicken merengo
822
00:37:49,633 --> 00:37:50,594
♫ Took me all day
823
00:37:50,594 --> 00:37:52,553
♫ I'll say 't was worth the time
824
00:37:52,553 --> 00:37:54,636
♫ I lie
825
00:37:55,866 --> 00:37:59,366
♫ Why is he always here?
826
00:38:03,416 --> 00:38:07,583
♫ The psychiatrist returning, returning
827
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:11,301
♫ Five sessions later
828
00:38:11,301 --> 00:38:13,012
♫ Try to forget all things homely
829
00:38:13,012 --> 00:38:15,118
♫ Try to forget all things snide
830
00:38:15,118 --> 00:38:16,862
♫ Nothing's as good as you recall
831
00:38:16,862 --> 00:38:21,094
♫ Count what's good, then divide
832
00:38:21,094 --> 00:38:22,097
♫ If you count, it's all right
833
00:38:22,097 --> 00:38:23,141
♫ You can figure out the world
834
00:38:23,141 --> 00:38:25,134
♫ You can add and subtract at will
835
00:38:25,134 --> 00:38:26,519
♫ You can cover up the past
836
00:38:26,519 --> 00:38:30,961
♫ You can kill the pain very easily
837
00:38:30,961 --> 00:38:33,852
♫ Is this therapy
838
00:38:33,852 --> 00:38:37,352
♫ Right, this is therapy
839
00:38:39,724 --> 00:38:41,974
♫ So scram
840
00:38:49,991 --> 00:38:52,218
♫ Mr. Mendel
841
00:38:52,218 --> 00:38:56,385
♫ As regarding your
intentions to my mother
842
00:38:56,385 --> 00:39:00,540
♫ Are they everything a woman would desire
843
00:39:00,540 --> 00:39:03,540
♫ Her hand is ready
844
00:39:04,534 --> 00:39:07,792
♫ It only needs a ring
845
00:39:07,792 --> 00:39:11,542
♫ I'll buy confetti and sing
846
00:39:16,371 --> 00:39:18,458
♫ I'm embarrassed
847
00:39:18,458 --> 00:39:22,487
♫ It's not my responsibility to ask you
848
00:39:22,487 --> 00:39:26,918
♫ But I wonder if it's
ever crossed your mind
849
00:39:26,918 --> 00:39:29,666
♫ What do I say, where
do I look, why do I laugh
850
00:39:29,666 --> 00:39:30,556
♫ How do I answer
851
00:39:30,556 --> 00:39:32,396
♫ Is it my mind, love isn't free
852
00:39:32,396 --> 00:39:36,386
♫ If love isn't blind, what do I see?
853
00:39:36,386 --> 00:39:37,784
- Stop!
854
00:39:37,784 --> 00:39:40,363
Look around you, a lot of nice furniture.
855
00:39:40,363 --> 00:39:41,727
Someone's bringing your dinner,
856
00:39:41,727 --> 00:39:45,252
someone brought your lunch,
someone's washed your laundry,
857
00:39:45,252 --> 00:39:48,650
washing your socks, jump in and smile!
858
00:39:48,650 --> 00:39:51,496
♫ Why don't you feel all right
for the rest of your life
859
00:39:51,496 --> 00:39:54,742
♫ Why don't you feel all right
for the rest of your life
860
00:39:54,742 --> 00:39:56,214
♫ Why don't you feel all right
♫ Why don't I feel all right
861
00:39:56,214 --> 00:39:59,297
♫ For the rest of your life?
♫ For the rest of my life?
862
00:39:59,297 --> 00:40:01,277
♫ Whoo!
863
00:40:01,277 --> 00:40:04,085
♫ Why don't you feel all right
for the rest of your life?
864
00:40:04,085 --> 00:40:07,222
♫ Why don't you feel all right
for the rest of your life?
865
00:40:07,222 --> 00:40:10,899
♫ Why don't you feel all right
for the rest of your life?
866
00:40:10,899 --> 00:40:13,211
♫ Feel, feel, feel, feel all right
867
00:40:13,211 --> 00:40:15,199
♫ Feel, feel, feel, feel all right
868
00:40:15,199 --> 00:40:17,776
♫ Feel, feel, feel, feel all right
869
00:40:17,776 --> 00:40:19,562
♫ Feel all right for the rest of your
870
00:40:19,562 --> 00:40:22,562
♫ Rest of your life
871
00:40:30,977 --> 00:40:34,894
(audience cheers and applauds)
872
00:40:49,453 --> 00:40:53,036
- This is how you make
a marriage proposal.
873
00:40:58,092 --> 00:41:01,744
♫ I love you dear
874
00:41:01,744 --> 00:41:04,471
♫ I think you're swell
875
00:41:04,471 --> 00:41:09,234
♫ You're never near me
close enough to tell
876
00:41:09,234 --> 00:41:11,484
♫ If I'm delightful or not
877
00:41:11,484 --> 00:41:13,892
♫ I crave your wrist
878
00:41:13,892 --> 00:41:17,149
♫ I praise your thigh
879
00:41:17,149 --> 00:41:20,303
♫ There's not a guy
880
00:41:20,303 --> 00:41:23,320
♫ There's not a piece of paper
881
00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:25,912
♫ There's not a man in pants
882
00:41:25,912 --> 00:41:29,625
♫ Who could love you the same as I
883
00:41:29,625 --> 00:41:32,735
♫ Oftentimes, lovers are crazy people
884
00:41:32,735 --> 00:41:36,251
♫ Sometimes they kill each other
885
00:41:36,251 --> 00:41:39,727
♫ Just like a biblical brother
886
00:41:39,727 --> 00:41:43,229
♫ Did to his biblical brother
887
00:41:43,229 --> 00:41:46,492
♫ Back in biblical times
888
00:41:46,492 --> 00:41:47,566
(audience laughs)
889
00:41:47,566 --> 00:41:49,806
- Biblical times?
890
00:41:49,806 --> 00:41:51,223
- Biblical times.
891
00:41:52,736 --> 00:41:54,563
- Uh, biblical times.
892
00:41:54,563 --> 00:41:58,230
♫ Oh, those' biblical times
893
00:41:59,810 --> 00:42:03,488
♫ I love your eyes
894
00:42:03,488 --> 00:42:06,477
♫ I love your face
895
00:42:06,477 --> 00:42:10,238
♫ I want you by my side to take my place
896
00:42:10,238 --> 00:42:12,916
♫ If I get sick or detained
897
00:42:12,916 --> 00:42:14,959
- Don't touch your hair, you're perfect.
898
00:42:14,959 --> 00:42:16,177
(audience laughs)
899
00:42:16,177 --> 00:42:18,737
♫ Don't start to cry
900
00:42:18,737 --> 00:42:21,690
♫ There's not a guy
901
00:42:21,690 --> 00:42:24,676
♫ There's not a horse or zebra
902
00:42:24,676 --> 00:42:26,917
♫ There's not a giant man
903
00:42:26,917 --> 00:42:30,022
♫ Who could love you the same as I
904
00:42:30,022 --> 00:42:32,111
♫ Forget that giant man,
905
00:42:32,111 --> 00:42:34,406
♫ He won't love you the same as I
906
00:42:34,406 --> 00:42:36,774
♫ I'm not a giant man
- Good.
907
00:42:36,774 --> 00:42:38,477
♫ But I'll love you until
908
00:42:38,477 --> 00:42:41,727
♫ Love you until I die
909
00:42:47,930 --> 00:42:49,764
♫ Well the situation's this.
910
00:42:49,764 --> 00:42:52,306
♫ I don't want to cause a stink
911
00:42:52,306 --> 00:42:53,418
♫ I divorced my wife
912
00:42:53,418 --> 00:42:55,176
♫ She dried her eyes
913
00:42:55,176 --> 00:42:58,118
♫ And she ran off with my shrink
914
00:42:58,118 --> 00:43:00,700
♫ But I want a tight-knit family
915
00:43:00,700 --> 00:43:04,062
♫ I want a wife who knows what love is
916
00:43:04,062 --> 00:43:07,104
♫ Maybe she does, I'm too damn peeved
917
00:43:07,104 --> 00:43:10,375
♫ Self-Absorbed, self-deceived
918
00:43:10,375 --> 00:43:12,888
♫ Who knows
919
00:43:12,888 --> 00:43:14,359
♫ I should worry what he says
920
00:43:14,359 --> 00:43:17,397
♫ Like his words could hurt me worse
921
00:43:17,397 --> 00:43:18,625
♫ Marvin acts bereft
922
00:43:18,625 --> 00:43:19,668
♫ My acts of theft
923
00:43:19,668 --> 00:43:22,056
♫ Are incredibly perverse
♫ You said it
924
00:43:22,056 --> 00:43:22,989
♫ It's embarrassing
925
00:43:22,989 --> 00:43:25,734
♫ But I've got a nice, tight family
926
00:43:25,734 --> 00:43:28,671
♫ Son with a brain and nice, bright mother
927
00:43:28,671 --> 00:43:31,416
♫ Yes, I feel guilt, yes, I'm annoyed
928
00:43:31,416 --> 00:43:34,301
♫ But so was Jung, so was Freud
929
00:43:34,301 --> 00:43:37,804
♫ But I, I know you'll come through it
930
00:43:37,804 --> 00:43:39,799
♫ I can't believe she loves you
931
00:43:39,799 --> 00:43:43,171
♫ If so, you'll end looking rich
932
00:43:43,171 --> 00:43:46,876
♫ Why I'm sure she cannot love
you, but nothing's impossible
933
00:43:46,876 --> 00:43:48,374
♫ Look who's got power
934
00:43:48,374 --> 00:43:49,517
♫ King of the Losers
935
00:43:49,517 --> 00:43:52,050
♫ At eighty an hour, he can bitch
936
00:43:52,050 --> 00:43:54,435
♫ I can stall
937
00:43:54,435 --> 00:43:56,006
♫ I want
♫ I've got
938
00:43:56,006 --> 00:43:58,673
♫ I want it all
939
00:43:59,885 --> 00:44:04,052
♫ I'm sure we're gonna come through it
940
00:44:05,366 --> 00:44:09,449
♫ No doubt, the bastard prepares
941
00:44:11,383 --> 00:44:12,642
♫ We're needy and wanting
942
00:44:12,642 --> 00:44:14,024
♫ We're greedy as swine
943
00:44:14,024 --> 00:44:15,436
♫ I just got a family
944
00:44:15,436 --> 00:44:16,843
♫ The family was mine
945
00:44:16,843 --> 00:44:20,446
♫ But he dares, dares to brawl
946
00:44:20,446 --> 00:44:23,470
♫ I want it all
♫ I've got it all
947
00:44:23,470 --> 00:44:26,352
♫ I want it all
♫ I've got it all
948
00:44:26,352 --> 00:44:30,519
♫ I want it all
♫ I've got it all
949
00:44:33,998 --> 00:44:36,998
(audience applauds)
950
00:44:39,072 --> 00:44:41,989
(slow flute music)
951
00:44:58,094 --> 00:45:02,177
♫ I'm tired of all the happy men
952
00:45:03,456 --> 00:45:07,275
♫ Who rule the world
953
00:45:07,275 --> 00:45:11,108
♫ They grow, of that I'm sure
954
00:45:13,659 --> 00:45:17,492
♫ They grow, but don't mature
955
00:45:19,606 --> 00:45:23,439
♫ I'd like the chance to hide
956
00:45:25,910 --> 00:45:28,577
♫ In that world
957
00:45:33,378 --> 00:45:37,545
♫ I'm listening to these
men who aren't quite men yet
958
00:45:39,523 --> 00:45:42,482
♫ But aren't boys
959
00:45:42,482 --> 00:45:46,649
♫ Make noise and throw their knives
960
00:45:49,099 --> 00:45:53,099
♫ Their toys are people's lives
961
00:45:55,045 --> 00:45:58,560
♫ They fight too hard and play too rough
962
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:03,196
♫ They sometimes love, but not enough
963
00:46:03,196 --> 00:46:07,363
♫ My heart will beat at will, but still
964
00:46:11,615 --> 00:46:13,869
♫ It's crazy how they're acting
965
00:46:13,869 --> 00:46:16,191
♫ It's crazy my response
966
00:46:16,191 --> 00:46:17,526
♫ It's stupid how I love them
967
00:46:17,526 --> 00:46:21,407
♫ So dumb, how I anticipate their wants
968
00:46:21,407 --> 00:46:23,519
♫ But as long as they amuse me
969
00:46:23,519 --> 00:46:26,743
♫ That alone is what's required
970
00:46:26,743 --> 00:46:30,576
♫ So I'll roar like I'm wired
971
00:46:32,839 --> 00:46:34,784
♫ I'll explore what I'm feeling
972
00:46:34,784 --> 00:46:37,698
♫ Except what I'm feeling is tired
973
00:46:37,698 --> 00:46:41,365
♫ I'm tired so tired of all
974
00:46:42,326 --> 00:46:46,493
♫ The happy men who rule the world
975
00:46:49,668 --> 00:46:53,835
♫ Happy, frightened men who rule the world
976
00:46:56,349 --> 00:47:00,038
♫ Stupid, charming men
977
00:47:00,038 --> 00:47:03,371
♫ Silly, childish jerks
978
00:47:05,955 --> 00:47:09,788
♫ That said, I'll be his wife
979
00:47:12,039 --> 00:47:15,872
♫ I'll wed and change my life
980
00:47:17,485 --> 00:47:21,048
♫ I'll laugh, I'll
smile, I'll welcome cheer
981
00:47:21,048 --> 00:47:25,629
♫ The time is right, the men are near
982
00:47:25,629 --> 00:47:29,629
♫ Now happiness and love appear
983
00:47:55,279 --> 00:47:57,237
♫ March, march
984
00:47:57,237 --> 00:47:59,141
♫ March of the Falsettos
985
00:47:59,141 --> 00:48:01,035
♫ March of the Falsettos
986
00:48:01,035 --> 00:48:03,212
♫ Whee
987
00:48:03,212 --> 00:48:06,672
♫ Who is man enough to march to
988
00:48:06,672 --> 00:48:08,581
♫ March of the Falsettos
989
00:48:08,581 --> 00:48:10,290
♫ C'mere
990
00:48:10,290 --> 00:48:14,219
♫ One foot following the other
991
00:48:14,219 --> 00:48:15,927
♫ Teach it to your brother
992
00:48:15,927 --> 00:48:19,888
♫ Make him march, march,
march of the Falsettos
993
00:48:19,888 --> 00:48:21,678
♫ March of the Falsettos
994
00:48:21,678 --> 00:48:23,571
(blowing raspberries)
♫ Oops
995
00:48:23,571 --> 00:48:25,285
♫ March a little bit
996
00:48:25,285 --> 00:48:27,070
♫ March a little bit
997
00:48:27,070 --> 00:48:30,616
♫ March a little bit on
998
00:48:30,616 --> 00:48:34,337
♫ Four men, swaying in phosphorescence
999
00:48:34,337 --> 00:48:37,836
♫ Keep replaying their adolescence
1000
00:48:37,836 --> 00:48:41,301
♫ Four men marching but never mincing
1001
00:48:41,301 --> 00:48:44,714
♫ Four men marching is so convincing
1002
00:48:44,714 --> 00:48:46,294
♫ It's a goddamn surety
1003
00:48:46,294 --> 00:48:48,122
♫ We're lacking in maturity
1004
00:48:48,122 --> 00:48:51,289
(all talking at once)
1005
00:48:56,103 --> 00:48:57,892
♫ March march march march
1006
00:48:57,892 --> 00:48:59,707
♫ Marvin's always wary
1007
00:48:59,707 --> 00:49:01,485
♫ March march march march
1008
00:49:01,485 --> 00:49:03,372
♫ Does this mean that I'm a fairy?
1009
00:49:03,372 --> 00:49:05,233
♫ March march march march
1010
00:49:05,233 --> 00:49:07,188
♫ What a stupid theory
1011
00:49:07,188 --> 00:49:08,951
♫ March march march march
1012
00:49:08,951 --> 00:49:10,851
♫ Whizzer says it doesn't, dearie
1013
00:49:10,851 --> 00:49:11,684
♫ Don't be scared
1014
00:49:11,684 --> 00:49:12,599
♫ Don't get tight
1015
00:49:12,599 --> 00:49:14,450
♫ Asses bared my delight
1016
00:49:14,450 --> 00:49:16,814
♫ Shared with four young men
1017
00:49:16,814 --> 00:49:20,041
♫ Alone in the night
1018
00:49:20,041 --> 00:49:23,759
♫ March, march, march of the Falsettos
1019
00:49:23,759 --> 00:49:27,590
♫ March of the Falsettos
1020
00:49:27,590 --> 00:49:31,139
♫ Who is man enough to march to
1021
00:49:31,139 --> 00:49:33,156
♫ March of the Falsettos
1022
00:49:33,156 --> 00:49:37,323
♫ Hi, one foot following the other
1023
00:49:38,562 --> 00:49:40,394
♫ Practice it on one another
1024
00:49:40,394 --> 00:49:43,694
♫ March, march, march of the Falsettos
1025
00:49:43,694 --> 00:49:45,243
♫ March of the Falsettos
1026
00:49:45,243 --> 00:49:48,517
♫ March of the Falsettos
1027
00:49:48,517 --> 00:49:51,184
♫ Marching home
1028
00:49:54,799 --> 00:49:56,799
♫ Uh oh
1029
00:49:57,955 --> 00:50:00,955
(audience applauds)
1030
00:50:06,248 --> 00:50:08,737
♫ Please forgive my former shpieling
1031
00:50:08,737 --> 00:50:11,050
♫ It does not concern the man
1032
00:50:11,050 --> 00:50:14,341
♫ As for doubts that I've been feeling
1033
00:50:14,341 --> 00:50:16,695
♫ I'll ignore them when I can
1034
00:50:16,695 --> 00:50:18,292
♫ And the things that I must do
1035
00:50:18,292 --> 00:50:22,272
♫ I'll do to make this all succeed
1036
00:50:22,272 --> 00:50:26,022
♫ I'll commit, that's agreed
1037
00:50:27,978 --> 00:50:30,018
♫ And with wit and precision
1038
00:50:30,018 --> 00:50:31,810
♫ I've made a decision
1039
00:50:31,810 --> 00:50:34,970
♫ To get the things I need
1040
00:50:34,970 --> 00:50:38,053
♫ God, I'll try, try
1041
00:50:42,315 --> 00:50:44,565
♫ I'll cry
1042
00:50:45,959 --> 00:50:48,709
♫ No, I'll laugh
1043
00:50:50,153 --> 00:50:53,736
♫ And unafraid, I'll laugh
1044
00:50:55,729 --> 00:50:58,720
♫ And hire a maid
1045
00:50:58,720 --> 00:51:01,805
♫ I'll fight the gods, I'll fight my ex
1046
00:51:01,805 --> 00:51:06,200
♫ I'll beat the odds, I'll have good sex
1047
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:09,783
♫ My future's now on trial
1048
00:51:11,745 --> 00:51:13,912
♫ I smile
1049
00:51:25,609 --> 00:51:28,692
(gentle piano music)
1050
00:51:46,356 --> 00:51:49,756
♫ That's the king, treat him nice
1051
00:51:49,756 --> 00:51:52,994
♫ Use some brains, now protect him
1052
00:51:52,994 --> 00:51:55,494
♫ Yes, I know
1053
00:51:56,936 --> 00:51:59,269
♫ Here I go
1054
00:52:01,194 --> 00:52:04,333
- Hmm.
(audience laughs)
1055
00:52:04,333 --> 00:52:05,166
Hmm, hmm.
1056
00:52:06,983 --> 00:52:09,733
♫ Play the game
1057
00:52:11,558 --> 00:52:13,972
♫ Please, don't watch me, I can do it
1058
00:52:13,972 --> 00:52:14,855
♫ Have a little scotch
1059
00:52:14,855 --> 00:52:16,327
♫ Ah, I blew it
1060
00:52:16,327 --> 00:52:18,270
♫ Maybe you could show me where
1061
00:52:18,270 --> 00:52:21,937
♫ I fear I've lost my head
1062
00:52:25,504 --> 00:52:26,337
♫ Do you want my help
1063
00:52:26,337 --> 00:52:29,375
♫ No, I don't, I can
think it through myself
1064
00:52:29,375 --> 00:52:30,589
♫ Start again, we've seen the worst
1065
00:52:30,589 --> 00:52:33,339
♫ I'll go first
1066
00:52:34,260 --> 00:52:35,781
♫ Move a pawn
♫ No, sir
1067
00:52:35,781 --> 00:52:36,614
♫ Move
♫ Where
1068
00:52:36,614 --> 00:52:37,447
♫ There
♫ Here
1069
00:52:37,447 --> 00:52:38,572
♫ Move a pawn
♫ Who
1070
00:52:38,572 --> 00:52:41,046
♫ Not the queen
♫ Who
1071
00:52:41,046 --> 00:52:43,129
♫ Jesus
1072
00:52:44,154 --> 00:52:47,882
♫ Life's a sham and every move is wrong
1073
00:52:47,882 --> 00:52:52,548
♫ We've examined every
move as we move along
1074
00:52:52,548 --> 00:52:54,542
♫ Winning is everything to me
1075
00:52:54,542 --> 00:52:58,459
♫ Nothing is everything to me
1076
00:53:03,392 --> 00:53:05,432
♫ Winning is everything to me
1077
00:53:05,432 --> 00:53:09,837
♫ Nothing is everything to me
1078
00:53:09,837 --> 00:53:11,004
- Except sex.
1079
00:53:12,431 --> 00:53:14,371
- Move a pawn.
1080
00:53:14,371 --> 00:53:15,454
- And money.
1081
00:53:24,645 --> 00:53:26,448
♫ Good first move
1082
00:53:26,448 --> 00:53:28,149
♫ Quite all right
1083
00:53:28,149 --> 00:53:29,849
♫ Take a turn
1084
00:53:29,849 --> 00:53:32,849
♫ Thank you kindly
1085
00:53:35,351 --> 00:53:38,018
♫ Move the pawn
1086
00:53:40,528 --> 00:53:43,195
♫ Move the pawn
1087
00:53:44,859 --> 00:53:47,442
♫ Take my hand
1088
00:53:50,755 --> 00:53:53,505
♫ Play the game
1089
00:53:55,140 --> 00:53:56,997
♫ God you're pretty
♫ More's the pity
1090
00:53:56,997 --> 00:53:58,596
♫ Since you need a man
♫ What
1091
00:53:58,596 --> 00:54:00,715
♫ Who's brainy
♫ Or witty, move
1092
00:54:00,715 --> 00:54:02,095
♫ What should I do now
♫ Move
1093
00:54:02,095 --> 00:54:03,215
♫ Where
♫ There
1094
00:54:03,215 --> 00:54:04,860
♫ How should I behave myself
1095
00:54:04,860 --> 00:54:06,711
♫ Chess ain't how your boyfriend thinks
1096
00:54:06,711 --> 00:54:09,536
♫ This game stinks
1097
00:54:09,536 --> 00:54:10,584
♫ Let me win
♫ Yes, sir
1098
00:54:10,584 --> 00:54:11,417
♫ Please
♫ Yes
1099
00:54:11,417 --> 00:54:12,250
♫ Great
♫ Wait
1100
00:54:12,250 --> 00:54:13,083
♫ Whizzer wins
♫ Wait
1101
00:54:13,083 --> 00:54:15,474
♫ Whizzer wins
♫ Wait
1102
00:54:15,474 --> 00:54:18,504
♫ Checkmate
1103
00:54:18,504 --> 00:54:22,385
♫ Life's a sham and every move is wrong
1104
00:54:22,385 --> 00:54:26,552
♫ We've examined every
move as we move along
1105
00:54:29,346 --> 00:54:30,179
- What?
1106
00:54:39,661 --> 00:54:40,494
Marvin!
1107
00:54:43,114 --> 00:54:44,531
It was just a g--
1108
00:54:55,459 --> 00:54:58,335
♫ Whizzer's supposed to make the dinner
1109
00:54:58,335 --> 00:55:01,620
♫ Be a patsy, lose at chess
1110
00:55:01,620 --> 00:55:04,728
♫ Always bravely acquiesce
1111
00:55:04,728 --> 00:55:07,105
♫ Clip the coupons, make the dinner
1112
00:55:07,105 --> 00:55:09,772
♫ And love him
1113
00:55:09,772 --> 00:55:11,538
♫ This has got to come to a stop, Marvin
1114
00:55:11,538 --> 00:55:12,371
♫ This had got to come to a stop, Whizzer
1115
00:55:12,371 --> 00:55:14,091
♫ This has been a lousy but fabulous flop
1116
00:55:14,091 --> 00:55:16,980
♫ Anyone understand, all I want's a kiss
1117
00:55:16,980 --> 00:55:18,278
♫ Anyone understand
1118
00:55:18,278 --> 00:55:20,591
♫ Don't start explaining,
I'm sick of explaining
1119
00:55:20,591 --> 00:55:22,518
♫ And this had better come to a stop
1120
00:55:22,518 --> 00:55:24,518
♫ Marvin, now, Marvin
♫ Whizzer, now, Whizzer
1121
00:55:24,518 --> 00:55:25,351
♫ Ciao, Marvin
♫ Ciao, Whizzer
1122
00:55:25,351 --> 00:55:27,125
♫ Bend, this had better come
1123
00:55:27,125 --> 00:55:28,776
♫ This had better come to a
1124
00:55:28,776 --> 00:55:29,989
♫ This, this, this, this
1125
00:55:29,989 --> 00:55:31,741
♫ This had better come to an end
1126
00:55:31,741 --> 00:55:34,781
♫ This had better come to an end
1127
00:55:34,781 --> 00:55:38,864
♫ This had better come to an end
1128
00:55:44,995 --> 00:55:47,036
♫ Welcome to our humble place
1129
00:55:47,036 --> 00:55:51,867
♫ We're concerned with setting the tone
1130
00:55:51,867 --> 00:55:55,284
♫ With filling the space
1131
00:55:56,208 --> 00:55:58,958
♫ Making a home
1132
00:56:01,352 --> 00:56:03,423
♫ She becomes a happy wife
1133
00:56:03,423 --> 00:56:07,423
♫ He decides the role to assume
1134
00:56:08,284 --> 00:56:11,201
♫ Building a life
1135
00:56:12,277 --> 00:56:15,110
♫ Shaping a room
1136
00:56:18,163 --> 00:56:21,955
♫ What it needs is people
1137
00:56:21,955 --> 00:56:25,992
♫ Men and women talking
1138
00:56:25,992 --> 00:56:30,526
♫ Men and women thinking out loud
1139
00:56:30,526 --> 00:56:33,193
♫ How far to go
1140
00:56:34,993 --> 00:56:36,971
♫ Visit when you please
1141
00:56:36,971 --> 00:56:40,971
♫ You are not required to phone
1142
00:56:42,178 --> 00:56:46,257
♫ We'll buy the cheese
1143
00:56:46,257 --> 00:56:49,424
♫ God bless our home
1144
00:56:55,867 --> 00:56:58,887
♫ Books abound
1145
00:56:58,887 --> 00:57:01,720
♫ To show we read
1146
00:57:03,547 --> 00:57:07,339
♫ The dog's been deflea'd
1147
00:57:07,339 --> 00:57:10,922
♫ And sent outside to play
1148
00:57:12,376 --> 00:57:15,832
♫ I hope it runs away
1149
00:57:15,832 --> 00:57:18,082
♫ So do I
1150
00:57:19,237 --> 00:57:21,487
♫ So do I
1151
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:26,285
♫ Afternoons, we make hors d'oeuvres
1152
00:57:26,285 --> 00:57:29,826
♫ After afternoons, we receive
1153
00:57:29,826 --> 00:57:31,527
♫ We deceive
1154
00:57:31,527 --> 00:57:33,646
♫ This is the price
1155
00:57:33,646 --> 00:57:35,444
♫ This is the price
1156
00:57:35,444 --> 00:57:38,194
♫ Making believe
1157
00:57:40,779 --> 00:57:44,844
♫ What it needs is people
1158
00:57:44,844 --> 00:57:49,056
♫ Men and women laughing
1159
00:57:49,056 --> 00:57:53,512
♫ Men and women thinking out loud
1160
00:57:53,512 --> 00:57:56,026
♫ Should he love me
1161
00:57:56,026 --> 00:57:56,958
♫ Should she love me
1162
00:57:56,958 --> 00:57:59,958
♫ Could he love me
1163
00:58:02,432 --> 00:58:03,928
♫ Yes, we love the bed
1164
00:58:03,928 --> 00:58:08,095
♫ Yes, we love to fight the unknown
1165
00:58:09,536 --> 00:58:11,551
♫ Baking the bread
1166
00:58:11,551 --> 00:58:13,127
♫ Sharpening knives
1167
00:58:13,127 --> 00:58:15,774
♫ Forging ahead
1168
00:58:15,774 --> 00:58:19,250
♫ Loving our
♫ Liking our
1169
00:58:19,250 --> 00:58:22,250
♫ Hating our Lives
1170
00:58:27,509 --> 00:58:31,676
♫ Making a home
♫ Making a home
1171
00:58:33,426 --> 00:58:37,593
♫ Making a home
♫ Making a home
1172
00:58:41,412 --> 00:58:44,079
♫ Making a home
1173
00:58:57,574 --> 00:59:00,105
♫ I don't look for trouble
1174
00:59:00,105 --> 00:59:03,719
♫ I do not accept blame
1175
00:59:03,719 --> 00:59:06,430
♫ I've a good and a bad side
1176
00:59:06,430 --> 00:59:10,394
♫ But they're one and the same
1177
00:59:10,394 --> 00:59:12,744
♫ Ask me to arouse you
1178
00:59:12,744 --> 00:59:16,552
♫ I will rise and obey
1179
00:59:16,552 --> 00:59:20,302
♫ These are the games I play
1180
00:59:26,325 --> 00:59:29,173
♫ I screw every morning
1181
00:59:29,173 --> 00:59:32,738
♫ Then bathe and drink tea
1182
00:59:32,738 --> 00:59:35,898
♫ I been playing canasta
1183
00:59:35,898 --> 00:59:38,790
♫ Disastrously
1184
00:59:38,790 --> 00:59:42,957
♫ All my recreation seems to suit me okay
1185
00:59:45,260 --> 00:59:49,010
♫ These are the games I play
1186
00:59:51,848 --> 00:59:54,263
♫ It's tough with love
1187
00:59:54,263 --> 00:59:57,244
♫ Love's tough to show
1188
00:59:57,244 --> 00:59:59,893
♫ Play again the music
1189
00:59:59,893 --> 01:00:04,060
♫ It's a song that I've
been waiting to hear so long
1190
01:00:06,185 --> 01:00:08,685
♫ So long ago
1191
01:00:13,303 --> 01:00:15,465
♫ I bet on the horses
1192
01:00:15,465 --> 01:00:18,889
♫ I die by degree
1193
01:00:18,889 --> 01:00:22,011
♫ I am sure his divorce is
1194
01:00:22,011 --> 01:00:25,032
♫ A tribute to me
1195
01:00:25,032 --> 01:00:27,603
♫ Ask me if I love him
1196
01:00:27,603 --> 01:00:30,755
♫ It depends on the day
1197
01:00:30,755 --> 01:00:34,505
♫ These are the games I play
1198
01:00:37,266 --> 01:00:40,008
♫ It's tough, my friend
1199
01:00:40,008 --> 01:00:42,973
♫ Love's looking strong
1200
01:00:42,973 --> 01:00:45,518
♫ Let me face the music
1201
01:00:45,518 --> 01:00:48,218
♫ It's a song that I been waiting to hear
1202
01:00:48,218 --> 01:00:50,038
♫ For much too long
1203
01:00:50,038 --> 01:00:53,371
♫ Years, years too long
1204
01:00:56,111 --> 01:00:58,811
♫ It hurts not to love him
1205
01:00:58,811 --> 01:01:02,001
♫ It hurts when love fades
1206
01:01:02,001 --> 01:01:04,066
♫ It's hard when part of him
1207
01:01:04,066 --> 01:01:07,640
♫ Is off playing family charades
1208
01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:10,767
♫ Ask me if I need him
1209
01:01:10,767 --> 01:01:13,584
♫ Get him out of my way
1210
01:01:13,584 --> 01:01:18,457
♫ These are, these are the games
1211
01:01:18,457 --> 01:01:21,260
♫ These are the games
1212
01:01:21,260 --> 01:01:25,427
♫ These are the only games I play
1213
01:01:35,706 --> 01:01:38,706
(audience applauds)
1214
01:01:43,804 --> 01:01:45,231
♫ Hello, Trina, thank you for sending this
1215
01:01:45,231 --> 01:01:46,709
♫ Goodness, Trina, I am relieved
1216
01:01:46,709 --> 01:01:48,595
♫ Frankly, Trina, nice of you sending this
1217
01:01:48,595 --> 01:01:50,219
♫ Thank you, Trina, I have received
1218
01:01:50,219 --> 01:01:51,868
♫ Your new-sent wedding invitations
1219
01:01:51,868 --> 01:01:53,670
♫ They are pseudo-romantic and sick
1220
01:01:53,670 --> 01:01:56,306
♫ You say you'll love
him until you both die
1221
01:01:56,306 --> 01:02:00,975
♫ You die on May 27th at eight
1222
01:02:00,975 --> 01:02:04,225
♫ He has lost his mind
1223
01:02:05,189 --> 01:02:08,772
♫ Marvin is not so uncouth
1224
01:02:09,954 --> 01:02:14,121
♫ Marvin is not so unkind
♫ Mendel plans to rub my back
1225
01:02:16,264 --> 01:02:20,332
♫ Mendel's not a maniac
1226
01:02:20,332 --> 01:02:23,082
♫ And he's sweet
1227
01:02:24,151 --> 01:02:27,127
♫ And he's warm
1228
01:02:27,127 --> 01:02:30,294
♫ And he loves me so
1229
01:02:31,604 --> 01:02:33,452
♫ Tell me, Trina, what was the impetus
1230
01:02:33,452 --> 01:02:35,054
♫ Sorry, Trina, look in my eyes
1231
01:02:35,054 --> 01:02:36,789
♫ Really, Trina, this is ridiculous
1232
01:02:36,789 --> 01:02:38,405
♫ Jesus, Trina, how I despise
1233
01:02:38,405 --> 01:02:40,330
♫ Your need for stupid conversation
1234
01:02:40,330 --> 01:02:42,233
♫ You are trying to ruin my sleep
1235
01:02:42,233 --> 01:02:44,485
♫ I'm sure you chose
him to make me look bad
1236
01:02:44,485 --> 01:02:48,236
♫ How could you ever deny what we had
1237
01:02:48,236 --> 01:02:52,232
♫ We had fights and games
1238
01:02:52,232 --> 01:02:56,149
♫ Marvin called us funny names
1239
01:02:57,362 --> 01:02:59,963
♫ Marvin always played the clown
1240
01:02:59,963 --> 01:03:03,630
♫ Marvin acts like he's untrained
1241
01:03:03,630 --> 01:03:07,213
♫ Marvin, I am so ashamed
1242
01:03:08,387 --> 01:03:11,906
♫ And he's sweet
1243
01:03:11,906 --> 01:03:14,656
♫ And he's mean
1244
01:03:15,508 --> 01:03:18,175
♫ Do I love him
1245
01:03:19,370 --> 01:03:20,203
No.
1246
01:03:31,858 --> 01:03:33,108
- I am so dumb.
1247
01:03:44,082 --> 01:03:45,494
♫ Dumb
1248
01:03:45,494 --> 01:03:46,327
♫ Dumb
1249
01:03:46,327 --> 01:03:47,442
♫ Dumb
1250
01:03:47,442 --> 01:03:48,836
♫ Dumb
1251
01:03:48,836 --> 01:03:50,047
♫ Dumb
1252
01:03:50,047 --> 01:03:52,464
(loud smack)
1253
01:03:55,484 --> 01:03:58,164
- Baby, you know--
- No.
1254
01:03:58,164 --> 01:04:00,331
(sobbing)
1255
01:04:14,021 --> 01:04:17,515
♫ I never wanted to love you
1256
01:04:17,515 --> 01:04:21,682
♫ I only wanted to love and not be blamed
1257
01:04:23,141 --> 01:04:27,053
♫ Let me go, you should know
1258
01:04:27,053 --> 01:04:29,886
♫ I'm not ashamed
1259
01:04:32,604 --> 01:04:36,260
♫ To have loved you
1260
01:04:36,260 --> 01:04:38,879
♫ I loved you more than I meant to
1261
01:04:38,879 --> 01:04:43,046
♫ In my profession, one's
love stays unexpressed
1262
01:04:44,672 --> 01:04:48,256
♫ Here we stand, take my hand
1263
01:04:48,256 --> 01:04:51,423
♫ God, I'm distressed
1264
01:04:54,906 --> 01:04:55,953
♫ How I love you
1265
01:04:55,953 --> 01:04:57,915
♫ I hate the world
♫ He hates everything
1266
01:04:57,915 --> 01:05:00,172
♫ I love my dad
♫ He loves his father
1267
01:05:00,172 --> 01:05:02,840
♫ I love the things I've never had
1268
01:05:02,840 --> 01:05:03,755
♫ Love our family
1269
01:05:03,755 --> 01:05:05,478
♫ Lord, hear our call
1270
01:05:05,478 --> 01:05:06,951
♫ Help us all
♫ Help us all
1271
01:05:06,951 --> 01:05:08,516
♫ Help us all
♫ Help us all
1272
01:05:08,516 --> 01:05:10,820
♫ Help us all!
1273
01:05:10,820 --> 01:05:13,625
♫ I never wanted to love you
1274
01:05:13,625 --> 01:05:18,471
♫ I never wanted, 'til
death do we two part
1275
01:05:18,471 --> 01:05:21,509
♫ Condescend, stay my friend
1276
01:05:21,509 --> 01:05:24,259
♫ How do I start
1277
01:05:26,967 --> 01:05:31,415
♫ Not to love you
♫ I'm...
1278
01:05:31,415 --> 01:05:34,647
♫ Everything he wanted
1279
01:05:34,647 --> 01:05:39,155
♫ It's time I put it all together
1280
01:05:39,155 --> 01:05:41,584
♫ Our hands were tied
1281
01:05:41,584 --> 01:05:45,751
♫ My father cried, "You'll marry"
1282
01:05:47,019 --> 01:05:49,638
♫ We married
1283
01:05:49,638 --> 01:05:52,359
♫ I never wanted to love you
♫ He's mine
1284
01:05:52,359 --> 01:05:55,338
♫ I only wanted to see my face in yours
1285
01:05:55,338 --> 01:05:57,354
♫ He's mine
♫ Jason's wild
1286
01:05:57,354 --> 01:05:59,101
♫ Save this child
1287
01:05:59,101 --> 01:06:02,934
♫ How he adores, and hates me
1288
01:06:05,592 --> 01:06:07,872
♫ It really killed me
when you took those vows
1289
01:06:07,872 --> 01:06:11,123
♫ Don't misunderstand, I'm in demand
1290
01:06:11,123 --> 01:06:14,211
♫ And anyhow, we're through
1291
01:06:14,211 --> 01:06:15,955
♫ I never wanted, I wanted
1292
01:06:15,955 --> 01:06:17,517
♫ I never, never, never, never
1293
01:06:17,517 --> 01:06:20,373
♫ Never, never wanted to love you
1294
01:06:20,373 --> 01:06:23,079
♫ I never wanted to love you
1295
01:06:23,079 --> 01:06:27,362
♫ I never wanted to love you
1296
01:06:27,362 --> 01:06:29,612
♫ Love you
1297
01:06:42,742 --> 01:06:45,742
(audience applauds)
1298
01:06:49,144 --> 01:06:52,727
♫ My father says that love
1299
01:06:54,459 --> 01:06:58,626
♫ Is the most beautiful thing in the world
1300
01:06:59,521 --> 01:07:02,636
♫ I think girls are
1301
01:07:02,636 --> 01:07:05,738
♫ I think girls are the most
1302
01:07:05,738 --> 01:07:08,571
♫ Beautiful thing
1303
01:07:10,750 --> 01:07:13,083
♫ Not love
1304
01:07:25,323 --> 01:07:28,073
♫ Kid, be my son
1305
01:07:31,430 --> 01:07:35,597
♫ What I've done to you is rotten
1306
01:07:38,571 --> 01:07:41,571
♫ Say, I was scared
1307
01:07:42,716 --> 01:07:46,633
♫ I kept marching in one place
1308
01:07:50,705 --> 01:07:54,157
♫ Marching in time
1309
01:07:54,157 --> 01:07:57,657
♫ To a tune I'd forgotten
1310
01:08:01,445 --> 01:08:04,945
♫ I loved you, I love you
1311
01:08:07,296 --> 01:08:10,463
♫ I meant no disgrace
1312
01:08:16,970 --> 01:08:19,970
♫ This here is love
1313
01:08:24,503 --> 01:08:27,586
♫ When we're talking
1314
01:08:32,432 --> 01:08:35,015
♫ Face to face
1315
01:08:44,290 --> 01:08:46,957
♫ Father to son
1316
01:08:48,478 --> 01:08:52,645
♫ I, for one, would take love slower
1317
01:08:54,532 --> 01:08:58,528
♫ I've made my choice
1318
01:08:58,528 --> 01:09:02,528
♫ You can sing a different song
1319
01:09:06,803 --> 01:09:10,616
♫ Watch as you sing
1320
01:09:10,616 --> 01:09:14,699
♫ How your voice gets much lower
1321
01:09:17,195 --> 01:09:20,945
♫ You'll be, kid, a man, kid
1322
01:09:25,040 --> 01:09:28,373
♫ If nothing goes wrong
1323
01:09:33,276 --> 01:09:36,276
♫ Sing for yourself
1324
01:09:39,568 --> 01:09:42,151
♫ As you march
1325
01:09:45,244 --> 01:09:47,244
♫ Along
1326
01:10:02,636 --> 01:10:06,386
♫ A man, kid, you'll be, kid
1327
01:10:11,074 --> 01:10:14,157
♫ Whatever your song
1328
01:10:21,730 --> 01:10:24,563
♫ Sing for us all
1329
01:10:28,846 --> 01:10:31,346
♫ As we march
1330
01:10:34,511 --> 01:10:36,511
♫ Along
1331
01:10:51,776 --> 01:10:54,776
(audience applauds)
1332
01:11:30,059 --> 01:11:32,518
♫ Homosexuals
1333
01:11:32,518 --> 01:11:35,351
(audience laughs)
1334
01:11:38,348 --> 01:11:40,629
♫ Women with children
1335
01:11:40,629 --> 01:11:44,796
♫ Short insomniacs and
a teeny tiny band whoo
1336
01:11:49,029 --> 01:11:51,028
♫ Come, back in
1337
01:11:51,028 --> 01:11:53,416
♫ The welcome mat is on the floor
1338
01:11:53,416 --> 01:11:55,258
♫ Let's, begin
1339
01:11:55,258 --> 01:11:57,686
♫ This story needs an ending
1340
01:11:57,686 --> 01:12:02,056
♫ A homosexual father with children
1341
01:12:02,056 --> 01:12:04,137
♫ One bar mitzvah that
1342
01:12:04,137 --> 01:12:06,188
♫ Is scrupulously planned
1343
01:12:06,188 --> 01:12:08,268
♫ Lovers come and lovers go
1344
01:12:08,268 --> 01:12:10,447
♫ Lovers fight and sing fortissimo
1345
01:12:10,447 --> 01:12:12,583
♫ Give these handsome boys a hand
1346
01:12:12,583 --> 01:12:15,970
♫ Welcome to Falsettoland
1347
01:12:15,970 --> 01:12:16,969
♫ Nancy Reagan
1348
01:12:16,969 --> 01:12:19,308
♫ Meanest and thinnest of the first Ladies
1349
01:12:19,308 --> 01:12:21,107
♫ Moves into the White House
1350
01:12:21,107 --> 01:12:21,971
♫ Ya-bah-dah-bah
1351
01:12:21,971 --> 01:12:23,067
♫ It's the '80s
1352
01:12:23,067 --> 01:12:24,128
♫ Ya-bah-dah-bah
1353
01:12:24,128 --> 01:12:25,085
♫ Ooh, the '80s
1354
01:12:25,085 --> 01:12:26,083
♫ Ya-bah-dah-bah
1355
01:12:26,083 --> 01:12:28,698
♫ What a world we live
1356
01:12:28,698 --> 01:12:30,192
♫ March, march, march of the Falsettos
1357
01:12:30,192 --> 01:12:31,371
♫ March of the Falsettos
1358
01:12:31,371 --> 01:12:32,682
♫ What a world we live in
1359
01:12:32,682 --> 01:12:34,307
♫ Who is man enough to march in
1360
01:12:34,307 --> 01:12:35,302
♫ March of the Falsettos
1361
01:12:35,302 --> 01:12:36,385
♫ Ya-bah-dah-bah
1362
01:12:36,385 --> 01:12:38,674
♫ Spiky lesbians
1363
01:12:38,674 --> 01:12:40,712
♫ Woman internist
1364
01:12:40,712 --> 01:12:42,647
♫ Shiksa caterer
1365
01:12:42,647 --> 01:12:44,928
♫ Who is trying to expand
1366
01:12:44,928 --> 01:12:47,144
♫ Everybody on your mark
1367
01:12:47,144 --> 01:12:49,366
♫ Congregate in Central Park
1368
01:12:49,366 --> 01:12:51,341
♫ Pretty boys are in demand
1369
01:12:51,341 --> 01:12:54,841
♫ Welcome to Falsettoland
1370
01:12:55,902 --> 01:12:57,870
♫ Whee
1371
01:12:57,870 --> 01:13:00,268
♫ Whoo
1372
01:13:00,268 --> 01:13:03,768
♫ What a world we live in
1373
01:13:05,187 --> 01:13:07,440
♫ Whee
1374
01:13:07,440 --> 01:13:09,735
♫ Whoo
1375
01:13:09,735 --> 01:13:13,318
♫ What a world we live in
1376
01:13:30,675 --> 01:13:32,706
♫ It's about time, don't ya think
1377
01:13:32,706 --> 01:13:35,922
♫ It's about time to
grow up, don't ya think
1378
01:13:35,922 --> 01:13:40,307
♫ It's about time to grow
up and face the music
1379
01:13:40,307 --> 01:13:43,140
♫ It's about time
1380
01:13:44,061 --> 01:13:45,504
♫ Since we last spoke
1381
01:13:45,504 --> 01:13:47,140
♫ Two years are waning
1382
01:13:47,140 --> 01:13:50,271
♫ I'll try explaining
just what you've missed
1383
01:13:50,271 --> 01:13:51,754
♫ We called a truce
1384
01:13:51,754 --> 01:13:54,352
♫ And fitfully we coexist
1385
01:13:54,352 --> 01:13:55,429
♫ I'm still loose
1386
01:13:55,429 --> 01:13:58,533
♫ She's still with the psychiatrist
1387
01:13:58,533 --> 01:14:01,505
♫ So I don't have a psychiatrist
1388
01:14:01,505 --> 01:14:04,541
♫ Except on the Jewish holidays
1389
01:14:04,541 --> 01:14:07,330
♫ But I still have my son on the weekends
1390
01:14:07,330 --> 01:14:10,933
♫ Hey, just on the weekends
1391
01:14:10,933 --> 01:14:14,305
♫ And some very good friends
1392
01:14:14,305 --> 01:14:17,069
♫ But I don't have a lover anymore
1393
01:14:17,069 --> 01:14:18,525
♫ Oh my God
1394
01:14:18,525 --> 01:14:20,823
♫ When am I gonna get over this
1395
01:14:20,823 --> 01:14:22,781
♫ When am I gonna get over this
1396
01:14:22,781 --> 01:14:25,172
♫ When am I gonna get over this
1397
01:14:25,172 --> 01:14:27,035
♫ Homosexuals
1398
01:14:27,035 --> 01:14:28,802
♫ Women with children
1399
01:14:28,802 --> 01:14:30,757
♫ Ex-ex lovers
1400
01:14:30,757 --> 01:14:32,995
♫ And a teeny tiny band
1401
01:14:32,995 --> 01:14:35,133
♫ Welcome to Falsettoland
1402
01:14:35,133 --> 01:14:36,982
♫ Shiksa caterers
♫ Short insomniacs
1403
01:14:36,982 --> 01:14:38,576
♫ Hypochondriacs
♫ Yiddish Americans
1404
01:14:38,576 --> 01:14:40,303
♫ Spiky families
♫ Radiologists
1405
01:14:40,303 --> 01:14:43,305
♫ Intellectuals
♫ Nervous wrecks!
1406
01:14:43,305 --> 01:14:45,083
(everyone sighs)
1407
01:14:45,083 --> 01:14:48,630
♫ Welcome to Falsettoland
1408
01:14:48,630 --> 01:14:50,470
♫ It's about time, don't ya think
1409
01:14:50,470 --> 01:14:53,395
♫ It's about time to
grow up, don't ya think
1410
01:14:53,395 --> 01:14:57,719
♫ It's about time to grow
up and face the music
1411
01:14:57,719 --> 01:15:00,552
♫ It's about time
1412
01:15:01,499 --> 01:15:04,306
♫ One day I'd like to be
1413
01:15:04,306 --> 01:15:07,697
♫ As mature as my son,
who is twelve and a half
1414
01:15:07,697 --> 01:15:09,475
♫ And this tall
1415
01:15:09,475 --> 01:15:13,088
♫ That's all I'd like to be, that's all
1416
01:15:13,088 --> 01:15:16,535
♫ It's about growing up, getting older,
1417
01:15:16,535 --> 01:15:18,598
♫ Living on a lover's shoulder
1418
01:15:18,598 --> 01:15:22,487
♫ Learning love is not a crime
1419
01:15:22,487 --> 01:15:23,962
♫ It's about time
1420
01:15:23,962 --> 01:15:25,057
♫ It's about time
1421
01:15:25,057 --> 01:15:26,552
♫ It's about time
1422
01:15:26,552 --> 01:15:27,759
♫ It's about
1423
01:15:27,759 --> 01:15:31,759
(singing in a foreign language)
1424
01:15:51,488 --> 01:15:54,159
♫ Jason dear, hello
1425
01:15:54,159 --> 01:15:57,501
♫ Are you packed and waiting
1426
01:15:57,501 --> 01:15:59,961
♫ But before we go
1427
01:15:59,961 --> 01:16:02,941
♫ Let me speak with Father alone
1428
01:16:02,941 --> 01:16:06,317
♫ Now as the bar mitzvah nears
1429
01:16:06,317 --> 01:16:09,521
♫ Jason, put your Walkerman on and hum
1430
01:16:09,521 --> 01:16:11,389
♫ Since this is the last loving thing
1431
01:16:11,389 --> 01:16:12,882
♫ We'll probably ever do together
1432
01:16:12,882 --> 01:16:16,099
♫ Let's act adult and not go crazy
1433
01:16:16,099 --> 01:16:18,564
♫ Have you chosen yet who'll cater
1434
01:16:18,564 --> 01:16:19,605
♫ What about it
1435
01:16:19,605 --> 01:16:20,549
♫ I know a person who can cater
1436
01:16:20,549 --> 01:16:22,834
♫ It's a personal
decision who should cater
1437
01:16:22,834 --> 01:16:24,963
♫ Can we consider who's gonna cater
1438
01:16:24,963 --> 01:16:25,935
♫ Shhh
♫ Please
1439
01:16:25,935 --> 01:16:26,768
♫ Shhh
♫ Please
1440
01:16:26,768 --> 01:16:28,386
♫ Shhh
♫ Stop
1441
01:16:28,386 --> 01:16:30,734
♫ This is so much crap
1442
01:16:30,734 --> 01:16:32,632
♫ Throw a simple party
1443
01:16:32,632 --> 01:16:35,298
♫ Religion's just a trap
1444
01:16:35,298 --> 01:16:37,602
♫ That ensnares the weak and the dumb
1445
01:16:37,602 --> 01:16:39,315
♫ Hey stop with the prayers
1446
01:16:39,315 --> 01:16:43,512
♫ How can you stop with the
prayers at a bar mitzvah
1447
01:16:43,512 --> 01:16:44,784
♫ The whole thing's voodoo
1448
01:16:44,784 --> 01:16:46,457
♫ And I know more than you do
1449
01:16:46,457 --> 01:16:50,624
♫ This is the year of Jason's bar mitzvah
1450
01:16:52,417 --> 01:16:55,636
♫ We're more excited than we should be
1451
01:16:55,636 --> 01:16:57,160
♫ This is the year of the child
1452
01:16:57,160 --> 01:17:00,689
♫ When he spreads out his wings
1453
01:17:00,689 --> 01:17:03,487
♫ There's music in his heart
1454
01:17:03,487 --> 01:17:06,415
♫ His life's about to start
1455
01:17:06,415 --> 01:17:08,942
♫ His body's going wild
1456
01:17:08,942 --> 01:17:11,275
♫ My child
1457
01:17:13,741 --> 01:17:15,987
♫ My child
1458
01:17:15,987 --> 01:17:18,272
♫ Our child
1459
01:17:18,272 --> 01:17:20,561
♫ Children, please
1460
01:17:20,561 --> 01:17:24,691
♫ Throw the kid a celebration and relax
1461
01:17:24,691 --> 01:17:28,686
♫ I'll bring women from the
wrong side of the tracks
1462
01:17:28,686 --> 01:17:31,312
♫ We'll have a ball
1463
01:17:31,312 --> 01:17:35,479
♫ I guess I'll have to
raise this Jason myself
1464
01:17:36,843 --> 01:17:38,350
♫ Isn't he a jackass
♫ Yes he is
1465
01:17:38,350 --> 01:17:40,348
♫ My own bar mitzvah
was a miserable occasion
1466
01:17:40,348 --> 01:17:42,214
♫ Isn't he too much
♫ Yeah, but so are you
1467
01:17:42,214 --> 01:17:43,173
♫ The cause for such abrasion in my family
1468
01:17:43,173 --> 01:17:44,448
♫ Really, kiddo, so are you
♫ Jesus, what an jackass
1469
01:17:44,448 --> 01:17:46,420
♫ It still gives me hives
1470
01:17:46,420 --> 01:17:48,081
♫ Jason, where's my hug
1471
01:17:48,081 --> 01:17:52,248
♫ This is the year for Jason's bar mitzvah
1472
01:17:53,333 --> 01:17:57,500
♫ This is the year for Jason's bar mitzvah
1473
01:17:59,143 --> 01:18:00,631
(doorbell rings)
1474
01:18:00,631 --> 01:18:02,518
♫ Look, look, look, look, look
1475
01:18:02,518 --> 01:18:05,655
♫ It's a lesbian from next door
1476
01:18:05,655 --> 01:18:07,892
♫ Followed by her lover
1477
01:18:07,892 --> 01:18:10,680
♫ Who's a lesbian from next door too
1478
01:18:10,680 --> 01:18:12,069
♫ And I've got food for you
1479
01:18:12,069 --> 01:18:13,396
♫ Delicious food for you
1480
01:18:13,396 --> 01:18:16,237
♫ Nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine
1481
01:18:16,237 --> 01:18:17,070
♫ Ah...
1482
01:18:17,070 --> 01:18:20,364
♫ Here's dietetic knishes, gefilte fishes
1483
01:18:20,364 --> 01:18:22,826
♫ Food that's from the heart
1484
01:18:22,826 --> 01:18:24,412
♫ So take a bite and see
1485
01:18:24,412 --> 01:18:26,693
♫ If all your friends agree it's good
1486
01:18:26,693 --> 01:18:27,912
♫ Yummy yummy yummy yummy
1487
01:18:27,912 --> 01:18:29,484
♫ Yummy yummy yummy yummy
1488
01:18:29,484 --> 01:18:31,775
♫ Yummy yummy yummy yummy yum
1489
01:18:31,775 --> 01:18:34,486
♫ We'll have one perfect time
1490
01:18:34,486 --> 01:18:36,887
♫ We'll spend billions of dollars
1491
01:18:36,887 --> 01:18:37,783
♫ Conga!
1492
01:18:37,783 --> 01:18:40,827
♫ We'll have flowers galore whooo
1493
01:18:40,827 --> 01:18:44,183
♫ And the band will sound fine whooo
1494
01:18:44,183 --> 01:18:47,483
♫ There'll be chandeliers
set round the room
1495
01:18:47,483 --> 01:18:50,983
♫ With the men in tuxedos
1496
01:18:51,895 --> 01:18:55,125
♫ There'll be food, like food never before
1497
01:18:55,125 --> 01:18:58,542
♫ What a day to remember
1498
01:18:59,841 --> 01:19:04,008
♫ This is the year of Jason's bar mitzvah
1499
01:19:05,706 --> 01:19:08,043
♫ They're more excited than they should be
1500
01:19:08,043 --> 01:19:09,748
♫ This is the year of the child
1501
01:19:09,748 --> 01:19:13,407
♫ When he spreads out his wings
1502
01:19:13,407 --> 01:19:16,137
♫ There's music in his heart
1503
01:19:16,137 --> 01:19:19,006
♫ His life's about to start
1504
01:19:19,006 --> 01:19:21,903
♫ His body's going wild
1505
01:19:21,903 --> 01:19:24,153
♫ My child
1506
01:19:26,589 --> 01:19:30,589
♫ Child
♫ Child
1507
01:19:35,682 --> 01:19:38,682
(audience applauds)
1508
01:19:48,015 --> 01:19:51,245
♫ Dot Nardoni, Tiffany Axelrod
1509
01:19:51,245 --> 01:19:56,102
♫ Zoe Feinstein, Angelina Dellibovi
1510
01:19:56,102 --> 01:19:58,924
♫ Bunny Doyne, or what's-her-name
1511
01:19:58,924 --> 01:20:03,007
♫ Mo Cristofaro and
Ellie Mazie Rosenthal's
1512
01:20:03,007 --> 01:20:05,361
♫ Really well built
1513
01:20:05,361 --> 01:20:07,556
♫ When Heather Levin stares at me
1514
01:20:07,556 --> 01:20:09,683
♫ Why do I wilt
1515
01:20:09,683 --> 01:20:11,393
♫ I like when Julie Johnson
1516
01:20:11,393 --> 01:20:14,986
♫ Does splits in her kilt
1517
01:20:14,986 --> 01:20:17,736
♫ Of these girls
1518
01:20:19,112 --> 01:20:23,279
♫ Which should I invite to my bar mitzvah
1519
01:20:24,504 --> 01:20:27,609
♫ I've a problem to flaunt
1520
01:20:27,609 --> 01:20:31,007
♫ I don't want the girls I should want
1521
01:20:31,007 --> 01:20:31,840
- Batter up!
1522
01:20:31,840 --> 01:20:33,738
- Woohoo!
- Stay focused Jason!
1523
01:20:33,738 --> 01:20:36,107
- Do your exercises!
- Here we go buddy.
1524
01:20:36,107 --> 01:20:38,150
♫ I want girls for whom I lust
1525
01:20:38,150 --> 01:20:41,112
♫ Girls who wear a lot of makeup
1526
01:20:41,112 --> 01:20:43,392
♫ Girls who smoke and show their bust
1527
01:20:43,392 --> 01:20:46,337
♫ Girls with whom I always wake up
1528
01:20:46,337 --> 01:20:48,219
- Strike one!
1529
01:20:48,219 --> 01:20:50,258
♫ Would they come though
1530
01:20:50,258 --> 01:20:53,639
♫ If they were invited
1531
01:20:53,639 --> 01:20:56,535
♫ And not laugh at my Hebrew
1532
01:20:56,535 --> 01:21:00,390
♫ And not laugh at my
father and his friends
1533
01:21:00,390 --> 01:21:02,450
- Strike two!
1534
01:21:02,450 --> 01:21:05,004
♫ Excluding them, I find exciting
1535
01:21:05,004 --> 01:21:08,091
♫ And I'm left with them, I'll be inviting
1536
01:21:08,091 --> 01:21:11,242
♫ Selecting girls for one's bar mitzvah
1537
01:21:11,242 --> 01:21:15,409
♫ God, that's the miracle of Judaism
1538
01:21:17,871 --> 01:21:19,165
- Strike three, you're out!
1539
01:21:19,165 --> 01:21:22,460
♫ That'd be the miracle of Judaism
1540
01:21:22,460 --> 01:21:23,809
- I'm proud of you!
1541
01:21:23,809 --> 01:21:24,642
- All right buddy you'll
get 'em next time.
1542
01:21:24,642 --> 01:21:27,834
(all talking at once)
1543
01:21:27,834 --> 01:21:28,841
♫ We're sitting
1544
01:21:28,841 --> 01:21:30,265
♫ And watching Jason play baseball
1545
01:21:30,265 --> 01:21:31,579
♫ We're watching Jason play baseball!
1546
01:21:31,579 --> 01:21:33,356
♫ We're watching Jewish boys
1547
01:21:33,356 --> 01:21:35,129
♫ Who cannot play baseball, play baseball
1548
01:21:35,129 --> 01:21:37,875
(audience laughs)
1549
01:21:37,875 --> 01:21:39,291
♫ We're watching Jewish boys
1550
01:21:39,291 --> 01:21:40,889
♫ Who cannot play baseball play
1551
01:21:40,889 --> 01:21:43,590
♫ I hate baseball, I really do
1552
01:21:43,590 --> 01:21:44,792
♫ Unlike the rest of you
1553
01:21:44,792 --> 01:21:46,507
♫ I hate baseball
1554
01:21:46,507 --> 01:21:49,956
♫ We really wish he'd
take this more seriously
1555
01:21:49,956 --> 01:21:52,192
♫ It's weird how he swings the bat
1556
01:21:52,192 --> 01:21:54,995
♫ It's weird how he swings the bat
1557
01:21:54,995 --> 01:21:55,828
♫ Ohh
1558
01:21:55,828 --> 01:21:59,995
♫ Why does he have to throw like that
1559
01:22:01,310 --> 01:22:02,143
♫ We're sitting
1560
01:22:02,143 --> 01:22:03,150
♫ And watching Jason make errors
1561
01:22:03,150 --> 01:22:04,729
♫ The most pathetical errors
1562
01:22:04,729 --> 01:22:06,490
♫ We're watching Jewish boys
1563
01:22:06,490 --> 01:22:07,674
♫ Who almost read Latin
1564
01:22:07,674 --> 01:22:09,674
♫ Up, battin'
1565
01:22:09,674 --> 01:22:11,889
♫ And battin' bad
1566
01:22:11,889 --> 01:22:14,331
♫ Remember Sandy Koufax
1567
01:22:14,331 --> 01:22:17,129
♫ You can do it if you wanna do it
1568
01:22:17,129 --> 01:22:20,167
♫ Take heart from Hank Greenberg
1569
01:22:20,167 --> 01:22:21,562
♫ What, it's not genetic
1570
01:22:21,562 --> 01:22:24,560
♫ Even you can be copacetic
1571
01:22:24,560 --> 01:22:26,045
♫ I think, I think
1572
01:22:26,045 --> 01:22:27,567
♫ I think you can, I think you can
1573
01:22:27,567 --> 01:22:28,688
♫ We're sitting
1574
01:22:28,688 --> 01:22:30,005
♫ And watching Jason play baseball
1575
01:22:30,005 --> 01:22:31,613
♫ We're watching Jason play baseball
1576
01:22:31,613 --> 01:22:33,231
♫ We're watching Jewish boys
1577
01:22:33,231 --> 01:22:34,788
♫ We're watching Jewish boys
1578
01:22:34,788 --> 01:22:36,662
♫ We're watching, slide, Jason
1579
01:22:36,662 --> 01:22:39,829
♫ Slide, Jason slide
1580
01:22:44,014 --> 01:22:46,650
♫ What is he doing here
1581
01:22:46,650 --> 01:22:48,972
♫ What are you doing here
1582
01:22:48,972 --> 01:22:51,059
♫ Jason asked me to come
1583
01:22:51,059 --> 01:22:54,185
♫ Since he asked me to come, I came
1584
01:22:54,185 --> 01:22:56,768
♫ Just what I wanted
at a Little League game
1585
01:22:56,768 --> 01:22:58,499
♫ My ex-husband's ex-lover
1586
01:22:58,499 --> 01:23:01,120
♫ Isn't that what every
mother dreams about
1587
01:23:01,120 --> 01:23:03,674
♫ Having at a Little League game
1588
01:23:03,674 --> 01:23:06,304
♫ Looking at Whizzer is like eating trayf
1589
01:23:06,304 --> 01:23:07,137
♫ The kid was out
1590
01:23:07,137 --> 01:23:07,970
♫ The kid was safe
1591
01:23:07,970 --> 01:23:08,803
♫ The kid was out
1592
01:23:08,803 --> 01:23:10,803
♫ The kid was safe
1593
01:23:10,803 --> 01:23:14,207
♫ Hey I love baseball
1594
01:23:14,207 --> 01:23:16,836
♫ I love Jason
1595
01:23:16,836 --> 01:23:19,734
♫ That's what I'm doing here
1596
01:23:19,734 --> 01:23:22,536
- Hey, where the hell
did they get that umpire?
1597
01:23:22,536 --> 01:23:24,154
Sorry.
1598
01:23:24,154 --> 01:23:25,653
♫ Look who's here
1599
01:23:25,653 --> 01:23:26,601
♫ Say hello
1600
01:23:26,601 --> 01:23:27,434
- Hello.
1601
01:23:27,434 --> 01:23:28,915
♫ You're looking sweeter than a donut
1602
01:23:28,915 --> 01:23:29,748
- Marvin.
1603
01:23:29,748 --> 01:23:30,581
- Whizzer.
1604
01:23:30,581 --> 01:23:31,757
- Is he still queer?
1605
01:23:31,757 --> 01:23:32,590
♫ Am I queer?
1606
01:23:32,590 --> 01:23:33,423
- I don't know!
1607
01:23:33,423 --> 01:23:34,256
♫ Does it matter?
1608
01:23:34,256 --> 01:23:38,063
♫ It's been so long since I could tell
1609
01:23:38,063 --> 01:23:40,317
♫ Sit in front of me
1610
01:23:40,317 --> 01:23:43,371
♫ I wanna see the hairline
1611
01:23:43,371 --> 01:23:44,285
♫ C'mon, c'mon
1612
01:23:44,285 --> 01:23:46,569
♫ Move in front of me
1613
01:23:46,569 --> 01:23:49,649
♫ It gives me pleasure to see the hairline
1614
01:23:49,649 --> 01:23:51,381
♫ Since it's the only
1615
01:23:51,381 --> 01:23:55,630
♫ Physical imperfection I can find
1616
01:23:55,630 --> 01:23:59,143
♫ I wanna see it
1617
01:23:59,143 --> 01:24:01,987
♫ I wanna touch it
1618
01:24:01,987 --> 01:24:04,995
♫ I wanna run my hands through it
1619
01:24:04,995 --> 01:24:06,242
♫ We're sitting
1620
01:24:06,242 --> 01:24:07,736
♫ And watch the kid as he misses
1621
01:24:07,736 --> 01:24:09,264
♫ We're watching Marvin throw kisses
1622
01:24:09,264 --> 01:24:10,974
♫ We're watching sixty-seven pounders
1623
01:24:10,974 --> 01:24:12,524
♫ Watching Jewish boys miss grounders
1624
01:24:12,524 --> 01:24:14,211
♫ Watching boys field, boys bat
1625
01:24:14,211 --> 01:24:15,196
♫ Boys miss, boys bat
1626
01:24:15,196 --> 01:24:17,926
♫ Watching Jason on deck
1627
01:24:17,926 --> 01:24:20,750
♫ Swinging the bat
1628
01:24:20,750 --> 01:24:21,996
- Hey, Jason!
1629
01:24:21,996 --> 01:24:23,534
- Oh, hi, Whizzer, glad you came!
1630
01:24:23,534 --> 01:24:24,657
- Hey, can I?
1631
01:24:24,657 --> 01:24:27,192
♫ Keep your head in the box
1632
01:24:27,192 --> 01:24:28,876
♫ Don't think of a thing
1633
01:24:28,876 --> 01:24:30,210
♫ Keep your head in the box
1634
01:24:30,210 --> 01:24:31,752
♫ Your eye on the ball
1635
01:24:31,752 --> 01:24:34,581
♫ Take a breath, then let it out and swing
1636
01:24:34,581 --> 01:24:36,414
- See, that's what I'm talking about.
1637
01:24:36,414 --> 01:24:38,170
That's how it supposed to look.
1638
01:24:38,170 --> 01:24:40,579
♫ Keep your head in the box
1639
01:24:40,579 --> 01:24:42,820
♫ Don't think of a thing
1640
01:24:42,820 --> 01:24:45,624
♫ Head in the box, eye on the ball
1641
01:24:45,624 --> 01:24:49,813
♫ Take a breath, then let it out and swing
1642
01:24:49,813 --> 01:24:51,147
- Okay, go get 'em!
1643
01:24:51,147 --> 01:24:52,564
- Thanks Whizzer.
1644
01:24:54,616 --> 01:24:56,191
♫ When he bats, he looks good
1645
01:24:56,191 --> 01:24:57,818
♫ Just remember he's psychotic
1646
01:24:57,818 --> 01:25:00,262
♫ He looks damn good,
but he's cheap as dirt
1647
01:25:00,262 --> 01:25:01,932
♫ Even maniacs can charm
1648
01:25:01,932 --> 01:25:03,195
♫ Which he does, so beware
1649
01:25:03,195 --> 01:25:04,340
♫ And just be careful
1650
01:25:04,340 --> 01:25:05,845
♫ When he smiles that smile, avoid him
1651
01:25:05,845 --> 01:25:07,821
♫ Or else sound the alert
1652
01:25:07,821 --> 01:25:08,849
- Whizzer?
- Marvin?
1653
01:25:08,849 --> 01:25:10,159
- Do you think there's
any hope for the kid?
1654
01:25:10,159 --> 01:25:13,324
- I love Jason, but this is not his venue.
1655
01:25:13,324 --> 01:25:14,690
(Marvin and audience laugh)
1656
01:25:14,690 --> 01:25:16,830
♫ How could I know, without him
1657
01:25:16,830 --> 01:25:20,536
♫ My life would be flat as a lake
1658
01:25:20,536 --> 01:25:23,461
- Batter up!
♫ That it is
1659
01:25:23,461 --> 01:25:25,479
- Okay Jason you gotta
stand closer to the plate!
1660
01:25:25,479 --> 01:25:26,312
♫ Yes, it is
1661
01:25:26,312 --> 01:25:27,446
- He's gonna be hit by the ball.
1662
01:25:27,446 --> 01:25:31,613
♫ Please, God, don't let
me make the same mistake
1663
01:25:33,256 --> 01:25:34,152
♫ We're sitting
1664
01:25:34,152 --> 01:25:35,317
♫ And watching Jason, the batter
1665
01:25:35,317 --> 01:25:36,876
♫ We know our cheering won't matter
1666
01:25:36,876 --> 01:25:38,559
♫ It is the very final inning
1667
01:25:38,559 --> 01:25:40,094
♫ And the other team is winning
1668
01:25:40,094 --> 01:25:41,744
♫ And there's two outs, two strikes
1669
01:25:41,744 --> 01:25:43,716
♫ But the bases are loaded and
1670
01:25:43,716 --> 01:25:46,736
♫ Would it be possible to
see you, or to kiss you
1671
01:25:46,736 --> 01:25:48,936
♫ Or to give you a call
1672
01:25:48,936 --> 01:25:50,583
♫ Anything's possible
1673
01:25:50,583 --> 01:25:53,466
♫ Jason hit
1674
01:25:53,466 --> 01:25:55,816
(loud crack)
1675
01:25:55,816 --> 01:25:57,744
(audience cheering)
1676
01:25:57,744 --> 01:25:59,994
♫ the ball
1677
01:26:04,489 --> 01:26:05,989
- Run!
1678
01:26:15,124 --> 01:26:18,791
- A Day in Falsettoland,
Dr. Mendel at Work.
1679
01:26:19,698 --> 01:26:22,923
♫ I don't get it
1680
01:26:22,923 --> 01:26:26,250
♫ I don't understand
1681
01:26:26,250 --> 01:26:30,148
♫ In the '60s, everyone had heart
1682
01:26:30,148 --> 01:26:34,131
♫ In the '60s, we were all
a part of the same team
1683
01:26:34,131 --> 01:26:37,423
♫ In the '60s, we had a new world to start
1684
01:26:37,423 --> 01:26:39,462
♫ Could this, oh God, don't say it is
1685
01:26:39,462 --> 01:26:43,199
♫ Could this be the new world we started
1686
01:26:43,199 --> 01:26:44,971
♫ Here I sit, brokenhearted and
1687
01:26:44,971 --> 01:26:46,713
- You go out on the street,
1688
01:26:46,713 --> 01:26:49,722
and there's all these
people asking for a handout.
1689
01:26:49,722 --> 01:26:53,072
Then you go home, you open up your mail,
1690
01:26:53,072 --> 01:26:56,402
and it's full of people
asking for a donation.
1691
01:26:56,402 --> 01:26:59,480
Then, you turn on the
TV, and there's pictures
1692
01:26:59,480 --> 01:27:02,289
of starving children in Ethiopia.
1693
01:27:02,289 --> 01:27:03,737
- And how does that make you feel, Diane?
1694
01:27:03,737 --> 01:27:04,737
- Caroline.
1695
01:27:05,798 --> 01:27:06,631
- Caroline!
1696
01:27:06,631 --> 01:27:09,303
- Yes, my name is Caroline.
1697
01:27:09,303 --> 01:27:11,610
♫ I don't get it
1698
01:27:11,610 --> 01:27:15,224
♫ I've been left behind
1699
01:27:15,224 --> 01:27:18,947
♫ Half my patients yuppie pagans
1700
01:27:18,947 --> 01:27:22,534
♫ Modeled on the Ronald Reagans
1701
01:27:22,534 --> 01:27:24,276
♫ Now the world is too pathetic
1702
01:27:24,276 --> 01:27:26,200
♫ And I don't get it at all
1703
01:27:26,200 --> 01:27:27,835
- Now that I got the promotion,
1704
01:27:27,835 --> 01:27:31,335
can I finally stop sleeping with my boss?
1705
01:27:32,374 --> 01:27:34,099
- Time's up!
1706
01:27:34,099 --> 01:27:37,945
- (laughing then crying)
You always do this!
1707
01:27:37,945 --> 01:27:40,862
(audience laughs)
1708
01:27:43,709 --> 01:27:47,399
♫ At least there's Trina at home
1709
01:27:47,399 --> 01:27:49,154
♫ Trina in bed
1710
01:27:49,154 --> 01:27:51,050
♫ Trina obsessing
1711
01:27:51,050 --> 01:27:53,351
♫ And sort of caressing
1712
01:27:53,351 --> 01:27:55,487
♫ My head with her feet
1713
01:27:55,487 --> 01:27:59,133
♫ I once thought it was sweet
1714
01:27:59,133 --> 01:28:01,698
♫ But I don't anymore
1715
01:28:01,698 --> 01:28:05,183
♫ Now I just snore
1716
01:28:05,183 --> 01:28:08,977
♫ 'Cause I'm so exhausted
1717
01:28:08,977 --> 01:28:12,867
♫ Listening to these yuppie farts complain
1718
01:28:12,867 --> 01:28:17,034
♫ Listening as their
shallow hearts explain
1719
01:28:17,922 --> 01:28:20,505
♫ Their lives
1720
01:28:25,149 --> 01:28:27,660
- Trina works it out
1721
01:28:27,660 --> 01:28:30,711
♫ Marvin's back with Whizzer
1722
01:28:30,711 --> 01:28:33,883
♫ Just like how it was
1723
01:28:33,883 --> 01:28:37,318
♫ If I don't like Whizzer
1724
01:28:37,318 --> 01:28:40,537
♫ It's because my ex sure does
1725
01:28:40,537 --> 01:28:42,865
♫ Why should that upset me
1726
01:28:42,865 --> 01:28:43,894
♫ Sometimes I'm a lout
1727
01:28:43,894 --> 01:28:47,067
♫ Mendel serenades, and Jason calms me
1728
01:28:47,067 --> 01:28:48,269
♫ Why should I be wilting
1729
01:28:48,269 --> 01:28:53,142
♫ When their precious love is not in doubt
1730
01:28:53,142 --> 01:28:55,725
♫ Work it out
1731
01:28:56,881 --> 01:28:59,727
- The neighbors relax after work
1732
01:28:59,727 --> 01:29:03,417
♫ How was your day at the hospital
1733
01:29:03,417 --> 01:29:07,812
♫ Unbelievable, what is that smell
1734
01:29:07,812 --> 01:29:11,979
♫ Nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine
- Oh, honey.
1735
01:29:12,958 --> 01:29:14,223
♫ I've been practicing
1736
01:29:14,223 --> 01:29:18,650
♫ Cuisine, bar mitzvah, nouvelle
1737
01:29:18,650 --> 01:29:19,483
Well?
1738
01:29:21,188 --> 01:29:23,985
(audience laughs)
1739
01:29:23,985 --> 01:29:25,853
♫ How was your day
1740
01:29:25,853 --> 01:29:26,777
♫ It was terrible
1741
01:29:26,777 --> 01:29:29,771
♫ Did you hear that
Marvin's back with Whizzer
1742
01:29:29,771 --> 01:29:31,788
♫ Marvin's back with Whizzer
1743
01:29:31,788 --> 01:29:34,175
♫ Drop it, sweetheart, give it up
1744
01:29:34,175 --> 01:29:35,249
♫ You know I love you
1745
01:29:35,249 --> 01:29:36,738
♫ What's the matter, Trina darling
1746
01:29:36,738 --> 01:29:40,095
♫ I don't get it
1747
01:29:40,095 --> 01:29:43,593
♫ Why can't you let go
1748
01:29:43,593 --> 01:29:47,266
♫ Maybe in a mile, I'll be okay
1749
01:29:47,266 --> 01:29:50,920
♫ I'll be happy when we
finally have this bar mitzvah
1750
01:29:50,920 --> 01:29:54,265
♫ Isn't it enough I want you every night
1751
01:29:54,265 --> 01:29:55,297
- Who?
1752
01:29:55,297 --> 01:29:56,130
- Every other night?
1753
01:29:56,130 --> 01:29:56,963
- Me?
1754
01:29:56,963 --> 01:29:58,375
- Every third night?
1755
01:29:58,375 --> 01:29:59,607
Okay, let's drop it.
1756
01:29:59,607 --> 01:30:01,552
♫ Everything will be all right
1757
01:30:01,552 --> 01:30:03,542
♫ Everything will be all right
1758
01:30:03,542 --> 01:30:07,542
♫ Everything will be all right
1759
01:30:08,376 --> 01:30:12,256
♫ How was your day at the hospital?
1760
01:30:12,256 --> 01:30:14,738
♫ It was wonderful
1761
01:30:14,738 --> 01:30:16,734
♫ For the first time in months
1762
01:30:16,734 --> 01:30:19,317
♫ Nobody died
1763
01:30:22,183 --> 01:30:23,016
- Yay?
1764
01:30:25,482 --> 01:30:27,403
(audience laughs)
1765
01:30:27,403 --> 01:30:31,122
♫ There were just heart
attacks and gallstones
1766
01:30:31,122 --> 01:30:33,624
♫ Light bulbs up the ass
1767
01:30:33,624 --> 01:30:37,335
♫ Fake appendicitis which was gas
1768
01:30:37,335 --> 01:30:42,135
♫ Which I diagnosed, people
overdosed and I saved them
1769
01:30:42,135 --> 01:30:46,692
♫ I saved young people, old people
1770
01:30:46,692 --> 01:30:50,116
♫ One priest and one high school principal
1771
01:30:50,116 --> 01:30:53,290
♫ Saving lives, I feel invincible
1772
01:30:53,290 --> 01:30:55,766
♫ Yes I do
1773
01:30:55,766 --> 01:31:00,070
♫ Do you know how great my life is
1774
01:31:00,070 --> 01:31:04,382
♫ Do you know how great my life is
1775
01:31:04,382 --> 01:31:08,299
♫ Saving lives and loving you
1776
01:31:10,092 --> 01:31:13,943
♫ She saves lives and I save chicken fat
1777
01:31:13,943 --> 01:31:15,933
♫ How'm I supposed to deal with that
1778
01:31:15,933 --> 01:31:18,910
♫ Do you know how great my life is
1779
01:31:18,910 --> 01:31:20,421
♫ Yes, I know how great your life is
1780
01:31:20,421 --> 01:31:22,595
♫ Do you know how great my life is?
1781
01:31:22,595 --> 01:31:24,585
♫ Yes, I know how great your life is
1782
01:31:24,585 --> 01:31:26,645
♫ Do you know how great my life is?
1783
01:31:26,645 --> 01:31:28,750
♫ Yes, I know how great your life is
1784
01:31:28,750 --> 01:31:32,667
♫ Saving lives and loving you
1785
01:31:36,632 --> 01:31:38,026
- Ha, it bounced twice
1786
01:31:38,026 --> 01:31:39,096
♫ No, it didn't
1787
01:31:39,096 --> 01:31:40,758
♫ Yeah, once, then twice, you know it did
1788
01:31:40,758 --> 01:31:41,591
♫ That's not nice
1789
01:31:41,591 --> 01:31:45,249
♫ No, it isn't but
you're a pain in the ass
1790
01:31:45,249 --> 01:31:49,041
♫ You're a beast but at least
when you play me, you win
1791
01:31:49,041 --> 01:31:51,407
♫ Yeah you give up
1792
01:31:51,407 --> 01:31:53,997
♫ I perspire
1793
01:31:53,997 --> 01:31:56,145
♫ Where's the heat, where's the fire
1794
01:31:56,145 --> 01:31:59,402
♫ Used to be, you desired a fight
1795
01:31:59,402 --> 01:32:00,961
♫ So fight
1796
01:32:00,961 --> 01:32:03,211
♫ So play
1797
01:32:04,875 --> 01:32:05,717
- One-two-three-four!
1798
01:32:05,717 --> 01:32:06,550
- One-two-three-four!
1799
01:32:06,550 --> 01:32:07,474
One-two-three-four!
1800
01:32:07,474 --> 01:32:08,384
- One-two-three-four!
1801
01:32:08,384 --> 01:32:09,315
One-two-three-four!
1802
01:32:09,315 --> 01:32:10,248
- One-two-three-four!
1803
01:32:10,248 --> 01:32:11,216
- One-two-three-four!
1804
01:32:11,216 --> 01:32:12,799
One-two-three-four!
1805
01:32:14,898 --> 01:32:18,633
(audience laughs)
1806
01:32:18,633 --> 01:32:20,110
♫ Lucky dink
1807
01:32:20,110 --> 01:32:20,943
♫ I'm finessing
1808
01:32:20,943 --> 01:32:22,762
♫ Something stinks in how you play
1809
01:32:22,762 --> 01:32:24,198
♫ Don't you think it's a blessing
1810
01:32:24,198 --> 01:32:26,963
♫ I'm so pathetically bad
1811
01:32:26,963 --> 01:32:29,689
♫ Just stay back, serve with force
1812
01:32:29,689 --> 01:32:32,570
♫ I'll attack and, of course
1813
01:32:32,570 --> 01:32:37,275
♫ I will win, just give in
to bliss, and kiss, c'mon
1814
01:32:37,275 --> 01:32:39,741
♫ Let's go
1815
01:32:39,741 --> 01:32:42,347
♫ Do you know
- Down the alley!
1816
01:32:42,347 --> 01:32:45,554
♫ All I want is you
- High lob!
1817
01:32:45,554 --> 01:32:49,854
Low drive, sailing shot!
♫ Anything you do
1818
01:32:49,854 --> 01:32:51,341
- Into the corner!
♫ Is all right
1819
01:32:51,341 --> 01:32:53,471
♫ Yes, it's all right
- Four walls.
1820
01:32:53,471 --> 01:32:55,760
♫ Do you know?
(laughing)
1821
01:32:55,760 --> 01:33:00,230
♫ All I want is you
- Dink.
1822
01:33:00,230 --> 01:33:01,362
What?
- What?
1823
01:33:01,362 --> 01:33:03,315
- Uh, hit your shoe.
1824
01:33:03,315 --> 01:33:04,345
- No, it didn't.
1825
01:33:04,345 --> 01:33:05,953
♫ Yes it did, the game is through
1826
01:33:05,953 --> 01:33:07,391
♫ That's not nice
♫ No, it isn't
1827
01:33:07,391 --> 01:33:09,783
♫ God, you're a pain in the ass
1828
01:33:09,783 --> 01:33:12,528
♫ Play it raw, don't play pretty
1829
01:33:12,528 --> 01:33:15,098
♫ Sex and games in New York City
1830
01:33:15,098 --> 01:33:19,482
♫ Have got to be played
with flair and passion
1831
01:33:19,482 --> 01:33:22,411
♫ And passion and flair
1832
01:33:22,411 --> 01:33:26,411
♫ Do you know all I want is you
1833
01:33:27,384 --> 01:33:31,917
♫ Do you know how great my life is
1834
01:33:31,917 --> 01:33:34,020
♫ Everything is all right
1835
01:33:34,020 --> 01:33:36,123
♫ Everything looks all right
1836
01:33:36,123 --> 01:33:38,280
♫ Everything will be all right
1837
01:33:38,280 --> 01:33:40,190
♫ Everything will, everything will
1838
01:33:40,190 --> 01:33:42,425
♫ Feel alright for the rest of your life
1839
01:33:42,425 --> 01:33:44,590
♫ Feel all right for the rest of your life
1840
01:33:44,590 --> 01:33:46,659
♫ Feel all right for the rest of your life
1841
01:33:46,659 --> 01:33:47,755
♫ Feel all right for the rest of your life
1842
01:33:47,755 --> 01:33:48,797
♫ Feel all right
1843
01:33:48,797 --> 01:33:49,630
♫ Feel all right
1844
01:33:49,630 --> 01:33:50,771
♫ Feel all right for the rest of your life
1845
01:33:50,771 --> 01:33:52,816
♫ Feel all right for the rest of your life
1846
01:33:52,816 --> 01:33:54,227
♫ Feel all right for the rest of your
1847
01:33:54,227 --> 01:33:55,060
♫ Rest of your
1848
01:33:55,060 --> 01:33:58,101
♫ Everything will be all right
1849
01:33:58,101 --> 01:34:01,101
(audience applauds)
1850
01:34:07,391 --> 01:34:09,060
♫ Just look at me
1851
01:34:09,060 --> 01:34:10,601
♫ I'm a world-class traveler
1852
01:34:10,601 --> 01:34:12,216
♫ Each Friday night
1853
01:34:12,216 --> 01:34:13,598
♫ Travel travel travel
1854
01:34:13,598 --> 01:34:15,455
♫ From her house to his house
1855
01:34:15,455 --> 01:34:16,828
♫ First take the 104
1856
01:34:16,828 --> 01:34:18,479
♫ With my computer
1857
01:34:18,479 --> 01:34:20,097
♫ I am just a little kid
1858
01:34:20,097 --> 01:34:21,952
♫ Not a commuter
1859
01:34:21,952 --> 01:34:23,960
♫ And each Sunday night
1860
01:34:23,960 --> 01:34:25,384
♫ Mother comes to get me
1861
01:34:25,384 --> 01:34:27,240
♫ And I hear them fight
1862
01:34:27,240 --> 01:34:30,460
♫ Everybody's yelling
about the bar mitzvah
1863
01:34:30,460 --> 01:34:31,900
♫ It's not a wrestling match
1864
01:34:31,900 --> 01:34:33,465
♫ Why are they sweating
1865
01:34:33,465 --> 01:34:35,030
♫ It's not a funeral
1866
01:34:35,030 --> 01:34:36,693
♫ What's so upsetting
1867
01:34:36,693 --> 01:34:40,315
♫ It's a celebration
1868
01:34:40,315 --> 01:34:43,275
♫ Where I get presents
1869
01:34:43,275 --> 01:34:44,818
♫ But everybody's yelling
1870
01:34:44,818 --> 01:34:49,256
♫ And everybody's ruining it
1871
01:34:49,256 --> 01:34:52,041
♫ It's a celebration
1872
01:34:52,041 --> 01:34:55,096
♫ Where I get richer
1873
01:34:55,096 --> 01:34:56,650
♫ But everybody's yelling
1874
01:34:56,650 --> 01:34:58,418
♫ And everybody's ruining it
1875
01:34:58,418 --> 01:34:59,952
♫ Everybody's ruining it
1876
01:34:59,952 --> 01:35:03,096
♫ Why, oh, why
1877
01:35:03,096 --> 01:35:05,816
♫ What have I done that
they'd ruin my bar mitzvah
1878
01:35:05,816 --> 01:35:08,817
♫ What have we done that
we'd ruin your bar mitzvah
1879
01:35:08,817 --> 01:35:10,847
♫ I want the Applebaums
1880
01:35:10,847 --> 01:35:12,780
♫ They're lovely, and they like me
1881
01:35:12,780 --> 01:35:13,654
♫ They're boring
1882
01:35:13,654 --> 01:35:15,543
♫ She just likes the way you dress
1883
01:35:15,543 --> 01:35:16,688
♫ Well, who wouldn't
1884
01:35:16,688 --> 01:35:18,213
♫ Have the Applebaums
1885
01:35:18,213 --> 01:35:19,114
♫ Screw the Applebaums
1886
01:35:19,114 --> 01:35:20,124
♫ Please don't do this
1887
01:35:20,124 --> 01:35:21,144
♫ Saul's a jerk
1888
01:35:21,144 --> 01:35:22,216
♫ Have them
♫ Nix them!
1889
01:35:22,216 --> 01:35:25,110
♫ Long live the Applebaums,
arguing takes work
1890
01:35:25,110 --> 01:35:29,129
♫ I hate this
♫ Blame her it is all a waste
1891
01:35:29,129 --> 01:35:29,990
♫ You're gonna blame me
1892
01:35:29,990 --> 01:35:31,146
♫ You have paintings of dicks
1893
01:35:31,146 --> 01:35:33,293
♫ Don't talk to me about taste
1894
01:35:33,293 --> 01:35:34,910
(audience laughs)
1895
01:35:34,910 --> 01:35:37,738
- Stop, I don't want a bar mitzvah, okay?
1896
01:35:37,738 --> 01:35:40,071
I don't want a bar mitzvah!
1897
01:35:41,289 --> 01:35:43,215
♫ What do you mean you
don't want a bar mitzvah
1898
01:35:43,215 --> 01:35:44,070
(audience laughs)
1899
01:35:44,070 --> 01:35:45,540
♫ What do you mean you
don't want a bar mitzvah
1900
01:35:45,540 --> 01:35:46,689
♫ How do you think we
1901
01:35:46,689 --> 01:35:47,885
♫ How do you think we
1902
01:35:47,885 --> 01:35:52,208
♫ How do you think we feel about that
1903
01:35:52,208 --> 01:35:53,660
- Okay.
1904
01:35:53,660 --> 01:35:54,597
(audience laughs)
1905
01:35:54,597 --> 01:35:57,930
Here we go, all right, over here please.
1906
01:36:01,045 --> 01:36:04,298
♫ Jason I am agitato grande
1907
01:36:04,298 --> 01:36:07,540
♫ Jason, I am muy disgutante
1908
01:36:07,540 --> 01:36:09,076
♫ And muy disappointe
1909
01:36:09,076 --> 01:36:10,723
♫ And muy nauseatus
1910
01:36:10,723 --> 01:36:14,890
♫ And me mitzraim hotzionoo dayenu
1911
01:36:16,750 --> 01:36:17,583
Okay.
1912
01:36:18,878 --> 01:36:21,321
♫ Everyone hates his parents
1913
01:36:21,321 --> 01:36:22,441
♫ Don't be ashamed
1914
01:36:22,441 --> 01:36:24,283
♫ You'll grow up, you'll come through
1915
01:36:24,283 --> 01:36:26,782
♫ You'll have kids and
they'll hate you too
1916
01:36:26,782 --> 01:36:28,824
♫ Oh, everyone hates his parents
1917
01:36:28,824 --> 01:36:32,991
♫ But, I confess, you grow
up, you get old, you hate less
1918
01:36:34,030 --> 01:36:37,511
♫ But I don't want it
1919
01:36:37,511 --> 01:36:40,833
♫ Nothing that gives them pleasure I'll do
1920
01:36:40,833 --> 01:36:44,179
♫ I don't want a bar mitzvah
1921
01:36:44,179 --> 01:36:48,346
♫ Stupid bar mitzvah,
any bar mitzvah, with you
1922
01:36:50,968 --> 01:36:55,021
♫ Everyone hates his
parents, that's in the Torah
1923
01:36:55,021 --> 01:36:56,618
♫ It's what history shows
1924
01:36:56,618 --> 01:36:58,854
♫ In fact, God said to Moses,
1925
01:36:58,854 --> 01:37:02,435
♫ "Moses, everyone hates his
parents, that's how it is"
1926
01:37:02,435 --> 01:37:05,518
♫ And God knew, because God hated his.
1927
01:37:05,518 --> 01:37:08,920
(audience laughs)
1928
01:37:08,920 --> 01:37:10,745
♫ You are gonna kill your mother
1929
01:37:10,745 --> 01:37:12,502
♫ Don't feel guilty, kill your mother
1930
01:37:12,502 --> 01:37:14,350
♫ Rather than humiliate her
1931
01:37:14,350 --> 01:37:15,938
♫ Killing your mother
1932
01:37:15,938 --> 01:37:18,765
♫ Is the merciful thing to do
1933
01:37:18,765 --> 01:37:20,306
♫ Jason, darling, don't get nervous
1934
01:37:20,306 --> 01:37:22,307
♫ I'm right here, and at your service
1935
01:37:22,307 --> 01:37:24,249
♫ Look, I'm calm and self-deluded
1936
01:37:24,249 --> 01:37:28,524
♫ Grateful, 'cause I hope
you'll do what I pray you'll do
1937
01:37:28,524 --> 01:37:30,373
♫ Go ahead and kill your mother
1938
01:37:30,373 --> 01:37:31,981
♫ Not with guns, but kill your mother
1939
01:37:31,981 --> 01:37:35,325
♫ Rather than humiliate
her, killing your mother
1940
01:37:35,325 --> 01:37:38,314
♫ Is the merciful thing to do
1941
01:37:38,314 --> 01:37:39,314
- Oh my God.
1942
01:37:40,273 --> 01:37:41,729
(audience laughs)
1943
01:37:41,729 --> 01:37:44,158
♫ Everyone hates his parents
1944
01:37:44,158 --> 01:37:46,969
♫ Now, I see why, but
in time they'll cool out
1945
01:37:46,969 --> 01:37:49,749
♫ And you'll think they were only fooling
1946
01:37:49,749 --> 01:37:51,677
♫ It's a strange thing about parents
1947
01:37:51,677 --> 01:37:53,129
♫ Push turns to shove
1948
01:37:53,129 --> 01:37:55,694
♫ What was hate becomes more or less love
1949
01:37:55,694 --> 01:37:58,324
♫ Jason, please see a psychiatrist
1950
01:37:58,324 --> 01:38:00,822
- I'm a psychiatrist, get lost!
1951
01:38:00,822 --> 01:38:02,248
Call the Applebaums, work it out,
1952
01:38:02,248 --> 01:38:04,523
pick out a gorgeous
centerpiece, thank you.
1953
01:38:04,523 --> 01:38:07,440
(audience laughs)
1954
01:38:12,617 --> 01:38:13,916
(audience laughs)
1955
01:38:13,916 --> 01:38:15,644
♫ Everyone hates his parents
1956
01:38:15,644 --> 01:38:17,518
♫ This too shall pass, you'll grow up
1957
01:38:17,518 --> 01:38:19,389
♫ I'll come through, I'll have kids
1958
01:38:19,389 --> 01:38:20,931
♫ And they'll hate you too
1959
01:38:20,931 --> 01:38:23,196
♫ Oh, Everyone hates your parents
1960
01:38:23,196 --> 01:38:25,060
♫ But kid I guess you'll grow up
1961
01:38:25,060 --> 01:38:26,871
♫ I'll grow up
♫ You'll get old
1962
01:38:26,871 --> 01:38:31,038
♫ I'll get old
♫ And hate less
1963
01:38:34,308 --> 01:38:35,372
- Flip me!
- You got it!
1964
01:38:35,372 --> 01:38:36,205
- Whoo!
1965
01:38:37,241 --> 01:38:39,874
♫ And hate less
1966
01:38:39,874 --> 01:38:42,874
(audience applauds)
1967
01:39:01,777 --> 01:39:04,190
♫ It's been hot
1968
01:39:04,190 --> 01:39:07,698
♫ Also very sweet
1969
01:39:07,698 --> 01:39:11,781
♫ And I'm not usually indiscreet
1970
01:39:14,875 --> 01:39:18,125
♫ But when he sparkles
1971
01:39:19,123 --> 01:39:22,706
♫ The earth begins to sway
1972
01:39:27,427 --> 01:39:30,465
♫ What more can I say
1973
01:39:30,465 --> 01:39:34,084
♫ How can I express
1974
01:39:34,084 --> 01:39:38,251
♫ How confused am I by our happiness
1975
01:39:41,144 --> 01:39:45,232
♫ I can't eat breakfast
1976
01:39:45,232 --> 01:39:48,482
♫ I barely tie my shoe
1977
01:39:52,538 --> 01:39:55,621
♫ What more can I do
1978
01:40:01,306 --> 01:40:04,473
♫ If I say I love him
1979
01:40:05,950 --> 01:40:10,117
♫ You might think my words come cheap
1980
01:40:11,665 --> 01:40:15,832
♫ Let's just say, I'm glad he's mine
1981
01:40:18,033 --> 01:40:20,700
♫ Awake, asleep
1982
01:40:25,465 --> 01:40:27,789
♫ It's been hot
1983
01:40:27,789 --> 01:40:31,190
♫ Also, it's been swell
1984
01:40:31,190 --> 01:40:33,272
♫ More than not
1985
01:40:33,272 --> 01:40:37,110
♫ It's been more than words can tell
1986
01:40:37,110 --> 01:40:40,110
♫ I halt, I stammer
1987
01:40:42,937 --> 01:40:46,020
♫ I sing a roundelay
1988
01:40:48,906 --> 01:40:52,073
♫ What more can I say
1989
01:40:57,154 --> 01:40:59,904
♫ I'll stay calm
1990
01:41:01,970 --> 01:41:04,803
♫ Untie my tongue
1991
01:41:08,142 --> 01:41:10,975
♫ And try to stay
1992
01:41:13,571 --> 01:41:16,738
♫ Both kind and young
1993
01:41:21,643 --> 01:41:23,856
♫ I was taught
1994
01:41:23,856 --> 01:41:27,279
♫ Never brag or shout
1995
01:41:27,279 --> 01:41:29,452
♫ Still it's hot
1996
01:41:29,452 --> 01:41:33,369
♫ Just like how you read about
1997
01:41:34,453 --> 01:41:37,772
♫ And also caring
1998
01:41:37,772 --> 01:41:41,105
♫ And never too uncouth
1999
01:41:44,684 --> 01:41:48,184
♫ That's the simple truth
2000
01:41:51,489 --> 01:41:54,989
♫ That's the simple truth
2001
01:42:09,028 --> 01:42:11,796
♫ Can you tell
2002
01:42:11,796 --> 01:42:15,739
♫ I have been revised
2003
01:42:15,739 --> 01:42:17,638
♫ It's so swell
2004
01:42:17,638 --> 01:42:21,471
♫ Damn it, even I'm surprised
2005
01:42:27,446 --> 01:42:30,613
♫ We laugh, we fumble
2006
01:42:33,927 --> 01:42:37,260
♫ We take it day by day
2007
01:42:43,369 --> 01:42:46,536
♫ What more can I say
2008
01:42:56,903 --> 01:42:59,986
(audience applauds)
2009
01:43:08,856 --> 01:43:12,325
♫ People might think I'm very dyke-ish
2010
01:43:12,325 --> 01:43:16,475
♫ I make a big stink
when I must, but goddamn
2011
01:43:16,475 --> 01:43:20,087
♫ I'm just professional,
never too nonchalant
2012
01:43:20,087 --> 01:43:23,958
♫ If I'm a bitch, well, I am what I am
2013
01:43:23,958 --> 01:43:27,701
♫ Just call me Doc, don't call me lady
2014
01:43:27,701 --> 01:43:31,670
♫ I don't like to talk
when I'm losing the game
2015
01:43:31,670 --> 01:43:35,837
♫ Bachelors arrive sick and frightened
2016
01:43:38,099 --> 01:43:42,235
♫ They leave weeks later, unenlightened
2017
01:43:42,235 --> 01:43:46,795
♫ We see a trend, but
the trend has no name
2018
01:43:46,795 --> 01:43:48,834
♫ Something bad is happening
2019
01:43:48,834 --> 01:43:51,624
♫ Something very bad is happening
2020
01:43:51,624 --> 01:43:54,583
♫ Something stinks, something immoral
2021
01:43:54,583 --> 01:43:57,447
♫ Something so bad that
words have lost their meaning
2022
01:43:57,447 --> 01:44:00,054
♫ Rumors fly and tales abound
2023
01:44:00,054 --> 01:44:02,490
♫ Stories echo underground
2024
01:44:02,490 --> 01:44:05,290
♫ Something bad is
2025
01:44:05,290 --> 01:44:09,457
♫ Spreading, spreading, spreading 'round
2026
01:44:15,867 --> 01:44:16,746
♫ Tell me how it tastes
2027
01:44:16,746 --> 01:44:17,869
♫ Tell me if it's good
2028
01:44:17,869 --> 01:44:21,178
♫ Tell me, dear, if you'd like seconds
2029
01:44:21,178 --> 01:44:22,249
- Stop!
2030
01:44:22,249 --> 01:44:24,004
♫ Go ahead and wound my pride
2031
01:44:24,004 --> 01:44:25,118
- Just stop.
2032
01:44:25,118 --> 01:44:29,285
♫ You're feeling very
sick inside, well, okay
2033
01:44:30,381 --> 01:44:34,270
♫ So you've had a bad day
2034
01:44:34,270 --> 01:44:38,292
♫ I don't know what to say
2035
01:44:38,292 --> 01:44:42,459
♫ Look what's become of my doctor
2036
01:44:46,906 --> 01:44:50,989
♫ She's my doctor and I love her
2037
01:44:54,083 --> 01:44:56,508
♫ She's got passion
2038
01:44:56,508 --> 01:45:00,262
♫ She's intelligent and,
Jesus Christ, a doctor
2039
01:45:00,262 --> 01:45:03,923
♫ Very wealthy and I love her
2040
01:45:03,923 --> 01:45:06,030
♫ Doctor of internal medicine
2041
01:45:06,030 --> 01:45:08,964
♫ I'm heartsick you're unhappy
2042
01:45:08,964 --> 01:45:10,606
♫ Life is crappy
2043
01:45:10,606 --> 01:45:13,977
♫ And you always see the
glass half full, I'm nervous
2044
01:45:13,977 --> 01:45:15,669
♫ This is just too damn ridiculous
2045
01:45:15,669 --> 01:45:18,170
♫ She's my doctor and I
love her, she's got heart
2046
01:45:18,170 --> 01:45:20,796
♫ My spirits sag when I read the magazines
2047
01:45:20,796 --> 01:45:24,476
♫ Men dressed in drag, next to their moms
2048
01:45:24,476 --> 01:45:28,559
♫ Fashion and passion and filler
2049
01:45:30,644 --> 01:45:34,775
♫ But not a word about the killer
2050
01:45:34,775 --> 01:45:37,840
♫ I like the ballgowns, but Jesus
2051
01:45:37,840 --> 01:45:40,141
♫ Something bad is happening
♫ Something bad is happening
2052
01:45:40,141 --> 01:45:42,786
♫ Something very bad is happening
2053
01:45:42,786 --> 01:45:44,418
♫ Something stinks
♫ Which she'd never say
2054
01:45:44,418 --> 01:45:46,788
♫ Something immoral, something so bad
2055
01:45:46,788 --> 01:45:48,884
♫ That words have lost their meaning
2056
01:45:48,884 --> 01:45:49,940
♫ Little things don't get in her way
2057
01:45:49,940 --> 01:45:51,226
♫ Rumors fly and tales abound
♫ What can it be
2058
01:45:51,226 --> 01:45:53,161
♫ Stories echo underground
♫ What can it be
2059
01:45:53,161 --> 01:45:57,328
♫ Something bad is spreading,
spreading, spreading 'round
2060
01:46:06,200 --> 01:46:08,602
♫ Look, a virus has been found
2061
01:46:08,602 --> 01:46:11,216
♫ Stories echo underground
2062
01:46:11,216 --> 01:46:15,383
♫ Something bad is spreading,
spreading, spreading 'round
2063
01:46:22,545 --> 01:46:23,714
- It bounced in.
2064
01:46:23,714 --> 01:46:24,564
- No, it didn't!
2065
01:46:24,564 --> 01:46:26,013
♫ Yeah it hit the line, you know it did
2066
01:46:26,013 --> 01:46:26,846
♫ Just begin
2067
01:46:26,846 --> 01:46:30,383
♫ Are you kidding, who's
telling who how to play
2068
01:46:30,383 --> 01:46:35,112
♫ Let me live, please forgive
me for winning one game
2069
01:46:35,112 --> 01:46:37,042
♫ Serve it up
2070
01:46:37,042 --> 01:46:39,238
♫ I attack
2071
01:46:39,238 --> 01:46:41,757
♫ Hold him down, keep him back
2072
01:46:41,757 --> 01:46:43,543
♫ Something's gone out of whack
2073
01:46:43,543 --> 01:46:46,433
♫ I hit!
♫ Good hit!
2074
01:46:46,433 --> 01:46:48,600
♫ My game
2075
01:46:54,323 --> 01:46:55,373
One two three four
2076
01:46:55,373 --> 01:46:57,290
- One two three damn it
2077
01:47:01,501 --> 01:47:02,418
C'mon, man.
2078
01:47:06,738 --> 01:47:07,571
- One two three four
2079
01:47:07,571 --> 01:47:08,904
One two three...
2080
01:47:12,612 --> 01:47:14,279
Good serve, Marvin.
2081
01:47:17,277 --> 01:47:18,280
- One two three four
2082
01:47:18,280 --> 01:47:22,030
- One two (breathes heavily)
2083
01:47:25,129 --> 01:47:26,233
It hit my heel.
2084
01:47:26,233 --> 01:47:27,519
- Don't be bitter.
2085
01:47:27,519 --> 01:47:29,580
♫ No big deal, the game is yours
2086
01:47:29,580 --> 01:47:31,024
♫ It's unreal, you're a quitter
2087
01:47:31,024 --> 01:47:34,176
♫ I can't go on anymore
2088
01:47:34,176 --> 01:47:36,078
♫ Be a jerk, my sweet bruiser
2089
01:47:36,078 --> 01:47:39,282
♫ Try and be a decent loser
2090
01:47:39,282 --> 01:47:41,917
♫ At least you could give me that
2091
01:47:41,917 --> 01:47:44,900
♫ Excuse me, I'm ready to go
2092
01:47:44,900 --> 01:47:46,483
I'm ready to go...
2093
01:47:50,522 --> 01:47:52,022
- Hey, I'm sorry.
2094
01:47:59,098 --> 01:48:03,098
♫ Do you know all I want is you
2095
01:48:07,685 --> 01:48:11,602
♫ Anything you do is all right
2096
01:48:12,449 --> 01:48:15,225
♫ Yes, it's all right
2097
01:48:15,225 --> 01:48:19,361
♫ Yes it is
♫ Everything will be all right
2098
01:48:19,361 --> 01:48:23,278
♫ Everything will be all right
2099
01:48:36,687 --> 01:48:39,014
♫ I was sure growing up
I would live the life
2100
01:48:39,014 --> 01:48:42,629
♫ My mother assumed I'd live
2101
01:48:42,629 --> 01:48:46,553
♫ Very Jewish, very
middle-class, and very straight
2102
01:48:46,553 --> 01:48:49,706
♫ Where healthy men stayed healthy men
2103
01:48:49,706 --> 01:48:53,873
♫ And marriages were long and great
2104
01:48:55,013 --> 01:48:58,680
♫ I smile, I don't complain
2105
01:49:01,115 --> 01:49:03,563
♫ I'm trying to keep sane
as the rules keep changing
2106
01:49:03,563 --> 01:49:06,650
♫ Families aren't what they were
2107
01:49:06,650 --> 01:49:09,360
♫ Thank God there's a husband and a child
2108
01:49:09,360 --> 01:49:12,137
♫ Whom I adore
2109
01:49:12,137 --> 01:49:14,625
♫ But then there's more
2110
01:49:14,625 --> 01:49:17,123
♫ So many more
2111
01:49:17,123 --> 01:49:20,290
♫ There's always more
2112
01:49:22,375 --> 01:49:26,458
♫ Life is never what you planned
2113
01:49:27,858 --> 01:49:32,610
♫ Life is moments you can't understand
2114
01:49:32,610 --> 01:49:35,527
♫ And that is life
2115
01:49:40,296 --> 01:49:44,046
♫ I'm plain, I don't astound
2116
01:49:46,098 --> 01:49:47,348
♫ I hold to the ground
2117
01:49:47,348 --> 01:49:48,718
♫ As the ground keeps shifting
2118
01:49:48,718 --> 01:49:51,867
♫ Keeping my balance square
2119
01:49:51,867 --> 01:49:56,034
♫ Trying not to care about
this man who Marvin loves
2120
01:49:57,083 --> 01:49:59,406
♫ But that's my life
2121
01:49:59,406 --> 01:50:02,064
♫ He shared my life
2122
01:50:02,064 --> 01:50:05,231
♫ Yes, that's my life
2123
01:50:07,241 --> 01:50:11,324
♫ Life is never what you planned
2124
01:50:12,855 --> 01:50:17,022
♫ Life is moments you can't understand
2125
01:50:18,321 --> 01:50:21,238
♫ And that is life
2126
01:50:25,674 --> 01:50:26,620
♫ Holding to the ground
2127
01:50:26,620 --> 01:50:31,039
♫ As the ground keeps shifting
2128
01:50:31,039 --> 01:50:32,196
♫ Trying to keep sane
2129
01:50:32,196 --> 01:50:36,417
♫ As the rules keep changing
2130
01:50:36,417 --> 01:50:38,030
♫ Keeping up my head
2131
01:50:38,030 --> 01:50:42,113
♫ As my heart falls out of sight
2132
01:50:48,706 --> 01:50:52,623
♫ Everything will be all right
2133
01:50:54,923 --> 01:50:58,423
♫ Everything will be all
2134
01:51:05,609 --> 01:51:10,298
♫ Whizzer, kid, you're
looking very good today
2135
01:51:10,298 --> 01:51:12,739
♫ You had to see yourself a few days back
2136
01:51:12,739 --> 01:51:13,678
♫ I had a heart attack
2137
01:51:13,678 --> 01:51:16,448
♫ Jesus
2138
01:51:16,448 --> 01:51:19,660
♫ But today you seem to be
2139
01:51:19,660 --> 01:51:22,653
♫ On the way to recovery
2140
01:51:22,653 --> 01:51:25,685
♫ Oh Whizzer, I want to applaud
2141
01:51:25,685 --> 01:51:29,367
♫ It's days like this
I almost believe in God
2142
01:51:29,367 --> 01:51:32,843
♫ Days like this I almost believe
2143
01:51:32,843 --> 01:51:34,926
♫ In God
2144
01:51:36,830 --> 01:51:37,879
- Hello!
2145
01:51:37,879 --> 01:51:38,962
- Hi!
- Food.
2146
01:51:40,060 --> 01:51:42,723
♫ Rugelach, gefilte fish
2147
01:51:42,723 --> 01:51:45,800
♫ It's so good, you'd think it's Italian
2148
01:51:45,800 --> 01:51:47,636
♫ Also a soup made from chicken
2149
01:51:47,636 --> 01:51:50,563
♫ That, though un-exotic, is antibiotic
2150
01:51:50,563 --> 01:51:53,274
♫ Why, I'm up to my ass
2151
01:51:53,274 --> 01:51:56,357
♫ In a kosher morass
2152
01:51:58,696 --> 01:51:59,991
♫ For aches and croup
2153
01:51:59,991 --> 01:52:02,842
♫ Try my chicken soup
2154
01:52:02,842 --> 01:52:04,177
♫ Whizzer, kid
♫ So, let's begin
2155
01:52:04,177 --> 01:52:05,834
♫ You're looking very good today
2156
01:52:05,834 --> 01:52:07,289
♫ It's medicine
2157
01:52:07,289 --> 01:52:08,122
♫ You had to see yourself
♫ It could be we're both
2158
01:52:08,122 --> 01:52:09,241
♫ Going to cure you
♫ A few days back
2159
01:52:09,241 --> 01:52:10,649
♫ Me with my soup
♫ I had a heart attack
2160
01:52:10,649 --> 01:52:13,089
♫ She with her medication
♫ Jesus
2161
01:52:13,089 --> 01:52:15,914
♫ Such elation but today you seem to be
2162
01:52:15,914 --> 01:52:19,010
♫ On the way to recovery
2163
01:52:19,010 --> 01:52:21,816
♫ Oh, Whizzer, I want to applaud
2164
01:52:21,816 --> 01:52:25,633
♫ It's days like this
we almost believe in God
2165
01:52:25,633 --> 01:52:29,800
♫ Days like this we almost believe in
2166
01:52:31,661 --> 01:52:33,161
Gefilte fish?
- No.
2167
01:52:34,751 --> 01:52:36,083
Canadelach!
- No. (laughing)
2168
01:52:36,083 --> 01:52:37,117
- Hi.
2169
01:52:37,117 --> 01:52:38,281
- Hi!
- Hi.
2170
01:52:38,281 --> 01:52:39,555
♫ We had trouble parking
2171
01:52:39,555 --> 01:52:41,275
♫ Just like on our second date
2172
01:52:41,275 --> 01:52:42,589
♫ I hyperventilate
2173
01:52:42,589 --> 01:52:45,446
♫ But since I'm parking
in the city, I've improved
2174
01:52:45,446 --> 01:52:46,974
♫ Or else the hydrants moved
2175
01:52:46,974 --> 01:52:50,569
- (laughing) Nobody?
2176
01:52:50,569 --> 01:52:53,553
Okay.
(audience laughs)
2177
01:52:53,553 --> 01:52:55,780
♫ Go ahead, be good and pissed
2178
01:52:55,780 --> 01:52:59,188
♫ 'How can I help?'' says
the wiry psychiatrist
2179
01:52:59,188 --> 01:53:01,578
♫ He'll make you well!
2180
01:53:01,578 --> 01:53:02,844
♫ Right.
2181
01:53:02,844 --> 01:53:06,332
♫ I'll make you well
2182
01:53:06,332 --> 01:53:09,085
♫ Whizzer, hello
2183
01:53:09,085 --> 01:53:12,757
♫ Gee, you look awful
- Jason!
2184
01:53:12,757 --> 01:53:15,206
♫ I think you need to play some chess
2185
01:53:15,206 --> 01:53:18,072
♫ Jason, sit down and begin
2186
01:53:18,072 --> 01:53:19,876
♫ I'll let you win, Whizzer
2187
01:53:19,876 --> 01:53:23,192
♫ Don't let me win
2188
01:53:23,192 --> 01:53:26,382
♫ I'll let you win
2189
01:53:26,382 --> 01:53:29,965
(everyone singing at once)
2190
01:53:35,939 --> 01:53:38,421
♫ But today you seem to be
2191
01:53:38,421 --> 01:53:41,239
♫ On the way to recovery
2192
01:53:41,239 --> 01:53:44,265
♫ Oh, Whizzer, I want to applaud
2193
01:53:44,265 --> 01:53:47,521
♫ It's days like this
we almost believe in God
2194
01:53:47,521 --> 01:53:50,465
♫ Days like this we almost believe in God
2195
01:53:50,465 --> 01:53:53,328
♫ Days like this we almost believe in God
2196
01:53:53,328 --> 01:53:57,495
♫ Days like this we almost believe in
2197
01:53:58,920 --> 01:53:59,753
- What is this?
2198
01:53:59,753 --> 01:54:00,697
- Gefilt-ee fish!
2199
01:54:00,697 --> 01:54:01,530
- Gefilt-ah fish?
2200
01:54:01,530 --> 01:54:02,363
- Right!
2201
01:54:02,363 --> 01:54:03,721
♫ You're looking very good today!
2202
01:54:03,721 --> 01:54:05,471
- Your turn.
2203
01:54:06,849 --> 01:54:08,682
♫ God
2204
01:54:18,321 --> 01:54:21,270
♫ Jason, if you want a Bar Mitzvah
2205
01:54:21,270 --> 01:54:25,561
♫ God knows, you can have a Bar Mitzvah
2206
01:54:25,561 --> 01:54:30,242
♫ But I have to know
and I have to know now
2207
01:54:30,242 --> 01:54:33,079
♫ Just what it is you want
2208
01:54:33,079 --> 01:54:37,162
♫ I've addressed the invitations
2209
01:54:39,981 --> 01:54:44,148
♫ Here's your chance to give me Hell
2210
01:54:46,551 --> 01:54:49,156
♫ If you think it's bust
2211
01:54:49,156 --> 01:54:53,323
♫ Then it's probably just as well
2212
01:54:56,361 --> 01:54:58,850
♫ Can't we wait 'til Whizzer gets better
2213
01:54:58,850 --> 01:55:00,539
♫ Can't we wait 'til he's up
2214
01:55:00,539 --> 01:55:04,413
♫ That's what bar mitzvahs
should be all about
2215
01:55:04,413 --> 01:55:06,815
♫ Good friends close at hand
2216
01:55:06,815 --> 01:55:10,148
♫ Don't you understand
2217
01:55:20,779 --> 01:55:24,946
♫ We can't be sure when he'll get better
2218
01:55:26,090 --> 01:55:30,257
♫ When, or if, he'll ever get better
2219
01:55:33,226 --> 01:55:35,020
♫ But the hall is booked
2220
01:55:35,020 --> 01:55:38,134
♫ And the band's been retained
2221
01:55:38,134 --> 01:55:41,134
♫ So, Jason, please
2222
01:55:42,543 --> 01:55:46,626
♫ What we'll do is your decision
2223
01:55:49,808 --> 01:55:53,975
♫ There's no right and there's no wrong
2224
01:55:58,283 --> 01:56:01,893
♫ Just say yes or no
2225
01:56:01,893 --> 01:56:05,726
♫ And we promise to go along
2226
01:56:09,039 --> 01:56:11,563
♫ Finally, now, it's all my decision
2227
01:56:11,563 --> 01:56:14,006
♫ Like it's my bar mitzvah
2228
01:56:14,006 --> 01:56:16,144
♫ Just like nothing happened
2229
01:56:16,144 --> 01:56:18,306
♫ Hell, let's have a party
2230
01:56:18,306 --> 01:56:20,192
♫ Just like nothing happened
2231
01:56:20,192 --> 01:56:23,720
♫ Why don't you make this
dumb decision yourselves, okay
2232
01:56:23,720 --> 01:56:27,887
♫ Why don't you make this
dumb decision yourselves
2233
01:56:30,614 --> 01:56:31,877
♫ We'll have the bar mitzvah
2234
01:56:31,877 --> 01:56:34,463
- No.
(audience laughs)
2235
01:56:34,463 --> 01:56:36,791
♫ Then, we'll cancel the bar mitzvah
2236
01:56:36,791 --> 01:56:37,624
- No!
2237
01:56:39,823 --> 01:56:43,990
♫ We'll wait until you make a decision
2238
01:56:51,513 --> 01:56:53,263
- Now what do we do?
2239
01:56:54,675 --> 01:56:57,520
♫ Why don't we tell him
2240
01:56:57,520 --> 01:57:00,162
♫ That we don't have the answers
2241
01:57:00,162 --> 01:57:02,218
♫ And that life can be grim
2242
01:57:02,218 --> 01:57:04,114
♫ Life's not all about him
2243
01:57:04,114 --> 01:57:07,873
♫ And things rarely go according to plan
2244
01:57:07,873 --> 01:57:10,776
♫ Tell him things happen
2245
01:57:10,776 --> 01:57:14,018
♫ For no damned good reason
2246
01:57:14,018 --> 01:57:16,140
♫ And his lack of control
2247
01:57:16,140 --> 01:57:18,109
♫ Kills what's best in his soul
2248
01:57:18,109 --> 01:57:20,852
♫ And this is the start
2249
01:57:20,852 --> 01:57:24,269
♫ To his becoming a man
2250
01:57:28,326 --> 01:57:30,004
♫ Holding to the ground
2251
01:57:30,004 --> 01:57:33,261
♫ As the ground keeps shifting
2252
01:57:33,261 --> 01:57:34,581
♫ Trying to keep sane
2253
01:57:34,581 --> 01:57:37,483
♫ As the rules keep changing
2254
01:57:37,483 --> 01:57:38,959
♫ Keeping up my head
2255
01:57:38,959 --> 01:57:43,042
♫ As my heart falls out of sight
2256
01:57:49,042 --> 01:57:52,959
♫ Everything will be all right
2257
01:58:05,310 --> 01:58:07,636
♫ Who'd believe that we two
2258
01:58:07,636 --> 01:58:11,526
♫ Would end up as lovers
2259
01:58:11,526 --> 01:58:14,990
♫ Do you want me to reply
2260
01:58:14,990 --> 01:58:17,402
♫ Him and me, you and I
2261
01:58:17,402 --> 01:58:20,791
♫ Passionately lovers
2262
01:58:20,791 --> 01:58:23,357
♫ Please don't get morbid
2263
01:58:23,357 --> 01:58:24,846
♫ Right
♫ It's just
2264
01:58:24,846 --> 01:58:26,939
♫ Don't fight
♫ That I haven't died yet
2265
01:58:26,939 --> 01:58:29,860
♫ Just stop it
♫ I'm sick, but kicking
2266
01:58:29,860 --> 01:58:32,618
♫ Geez Louise
♫ All right
2267
01:58:32,618 --> 01:58:35,728
♫ Good night
♫ I'm staying here
2268
01:58:35,728 --> 01:58:40,047
♫ In this spot whether
you want me to or not
2269
01:58:40,047 --> 01:58:42,547
♫ I'm staying
2270
01:58:44,880 --> 01:58:47,335
♫ Here I am, by your side
2271
01:58:47,335 --> 01:58:50,710
♫ One old horny lover
2272
01:58:50,710 --> 01:58:54,111
♫ Please go home and don't be scared
2273
01:58:54,111 --> 01:58:56,242
♫ What's the fuss, I'm not scared
2274
01:58:56,242 --> 01:59:00,409
♫ What good is a lover who's scared
2275
01:59:01,551 --> 01:59:04,884
♫ Hit me if you need to
2276
01:59:06,568 --> 01:59:10,735
♫ Slap my face or hold me till winter
2277
01:59:15,577 --> 01:59:18,660
♫ Oh baby, please do
2278
01:59:20,534 --> 01:59:23,367
♫ I love you, too
2279
01:59:24,899 --> 01:59:27,232
♫ My lover
2280
01:59:30,227 --> 01:59:34,049
♫ Marvin, just go home and turn on TV
2281
01:59:34,049 --> 01:59:38,307
♫ Drink a little
something till you're dead
2282
01:59:38,307 --> 01:59:41,493
♫ Think of me around
2283
01:59:41,493 --> 01:59:45,326
♫ Sleeping soundly in our bed
2284
01:59:48,576 --> 01:59:52,743
♫ Marvin, did you hear what I said
2285
01:59:56,935 --> 01:59:59,823
♫ Shut your mouth, go to sleep
2286
01:59:59,823 --> 02:00:03,766
♫ Time I met a sailor
2287
02:00:03,766 --> 02:00:06,575
♫ Are you sleeping yet or
2288
02:00:06,575 --> 02:00:09,224
♫ What is what, Whizzer
2289
02:00:09,224 --> 02:00:13,391
♫ But I can't help but feeling I've failed
2290
02:00:15,279 --> 02:00:18,862
♫ Let's be scared together
2291
02:00:20,435 --> 02:00:23,402
♫ Let's pretend
2292
02:00:23,402 --> 02:00:26,735
♫ That nothing is awful
2293
02:00:30,236 --> 02:00:32,429
♫ There's nothing to fear
2294
02:00:32,429 --> 02:00:33,910
♫ There's nothing to fear
2295
02:00:33,910 --> 02:00:37,243
♫ Just stay right here
2296
02:00:38,467 --> 02:00:40,967
♫ I love you
2297
02:00:44,799 --> 02:00:47,559
♫ Shhh, maybe he's tired
2298
02:00:47,559 --> 02:00:50,151
♫ Shhh, maybe he's waiting for us
2299
02:00:50,151 --> 02:00:54,318
♫ Shhh, Maybe he's waiting for a visit
2300
02:00:59,667 --> 02:01:04,595
♫ Is it a bad time, We'll come back
2301
02:01:04,595 --> 02:01:08,762
♫ If it's a bad time, we'll come back
2302
02:01:10,744 --> 02:01:13,494
♫ We'll come in
2303
02:01:17,311 --> 02:01:19,222
♫ Look at us, four old friends
2304
02:01:19,222 --> 02:01:23,264
♫ Four unlikely lovers
2305
02:01:23,264 --> 02:01:26,210
♫ We don't know what time will bring
2306
02:01:26,210 --> 02:01:28,378
♫ I've a clue
♫ I have too
2307
02:01:28,378 --> 02:01:32,067
♫ Let's look like we haven't
2308
02:01:32,067 --> 02:01:34,725
♫ And each say nothing
2309
02:01:34,725 --> 02:01:36,074
- Sky!
- It's blue!
2310
02:01:36,074 --> 02:01:37,465
- I love the sky.
- I love the trees.
2311
02:01:37,465 --> 02:01:38,640
♫ I love bad weather
2312
02:01:38,640 --> 02:01:40,248
♫ I love the earth beneath my feet
2313
02:01:40,248 --> 02:01:41,671
♫ I love friends that hover
2314
02:01:41,671 --> 02:01:45,838
♫ Gee, we love to eat and
we need something sweet
2315
02:01:47,545 --> 02:01:49,712
♫ To love
2316
02:01:51,921 --> 02:01:54,055
♫ What a group we four are
2317
02:01:54,055 --> 02:01:57,305
♫ Four unlikely lovers
2318
02:01:58,300 --> 02:02:02,592
♫ And we vow that we will
2319
02:02:02,592 --> 02:02:04,544
♫ Buy the farm, arm in arm
2320
02:02:04,544 --> 02:02:08,711
♫ Four unlikely lovers with heart
2321
02:02:11,116 --> 02:02:14,699
♫ Let's be scared together
2322
02:02:16,894 --> 02:02:19,561
♫ Let's pretend
2323
02:02:23,237 --> 02:02:26,570
♫ That nothing is awful
2324
02:02:32,513 --> 02:02:35,896
♫ There's nothing to fear
2325
02:02:35,896 --> 02:02:36,729
♫ There's nothing to fear
2326
02:02:36,729 --> 02:02:40,062
♫ Just stay right here
2327
02:02:43,592 --> 02:02:46,092
♫ I love you
2328
02:02:48,058 --> 02:02:50,978
♫ I love you
2329
02:02:50,978 --> 02:02:53,993
♫ I love you
2330
02:02:53,993 --> 02:02:56,410
♫ I love you
2331
02:02:58,981 --> 02:03:03,148
♫ Who'd have thought that we four
2332
02:03:04,141 --> 02:03:07,558
♫ Would end up as lovers
2333
02:03:19,046 --> 02:03:22,129
(audience applauds)
2334
02:03:26,847 --> 02:03:29,264
♫ Hello, God
2335
02:03:30,562 --> 02:03:34,729
♫ I don't think we've ever really spoken
2336
02:03:35,749 --> 02:03:38,280
♫ If you'd kindly allow
2337
02:03:38,280 --> 02:03:41,780
♫ How about a miracle now
2338
02:03:44,467 --> 02:03:46,467
♫ I don't know if you exist
2339
02:03:46,467 --> 02:03:49,152
♫ I can't hear your fingers snappin'
2340
02:03:49,152 --> 02:03:52,104
♫ Are you just a big psychiatrist
2341
02:03:52,104 --> 02:03:54,960
♫ Or, can you make things not happen
2342
02:03:54,960 --> 02:03:59,127
♫ Do this for me and
I'll get bar mitzvahed
2343
02:04:00,926 --> 02:04:03,759
♫ In exchange for
2344
02:04:05,663 --> 02:04:08,404
♫ Could you please make
my friend stop dying
2345
02:04:08,404 --> 02:04:09,597
♫ I am not naive
2346
02:04:09,597 --> 02:04:11,100
♫ It won't be easy
2347
02:04:11,100 --> 02:04:14,129
♫ But if you could make
my friend stop dying
2348
02:04:14,129 --> 02:04:16,337
♫ God
2349
02:04:16,337 --> 02:04:20,828
♫ That'd be the miracle of Judaism
2350
02:04:20,828 --> 02:04:24,995
♫ That'd be the miracle of Judaism
2351
02:04:38,714 --> 02:04:42,464
♫ Something bad is happening
2352
02:04:45,446 --> 02:04:49,613
♫ Something very bad is happening
2353
02:04:53,871 --> 02:04:57,418
♫ Something that kills
2354
02:04:57,418 --> 02:05:00,811
♫ Something infectious
2355
02:05:00,811 --> 02:05:02,495
♫ Something that spreads
2356
02:05:02,495 --> 02:05:05,995
♫ From one man to another
2357
02:05:28,358 --> 02:05:30,470
♫ Okay
2358
02:05:30,470 --> 02:05:32,776
♫ When the doctor started
using phrases like
2359
02:05:32,776 --> 02:05:34,563
♫ "You'll pass away"
2360
02:05:34,563 --> 02:05:36,059
♫ What could I say
2361
02:05:36,059 --> 02:05:37,763
♫ I said Doctor
2362
02:05:37,763 --> 02:05:41,643
♫ In plain English tell
me why was I chosen
2363
02:05:41,643 --> 02:05:43,787
♫ Why me of all men
2364
02:05:43,787 --> 02:05:47,272
♫ Doctor, here's the good part
2365
02:05:47,272 --> 02:05:48,537
♫ At least death means
2366
02:05:48,537 --> 02:05:52,704
♫ I'll never be scared about dying again
2367
02:05:54,335 --> 02:05:55,785
♫ Let's get on with living while we can
2368
02:05:55,785 --> 02:05:57,940
♫ And not play dumb
2369
02:05:57,940 --> 02:05:59,319
♫ Death's gonna come
2370
02:05:59,319 --> 02:06:01,261
♫ When it does, screw the nerves
2371
02:06:01,261 --> 02:06:03,338
♫ I'll be eating hors d'oeuvres
2372
02:06:03,338 --> 02:06:07,505
♫ It's the roll of the dice and no crime
2373
02:06:08,961 --> 02:06:12,378
♫ You gotta die sometime
2374
02:06:14,118 --> 02:06:17,732
♫ Death is not a friend
but I hope in the end
2375
02:06:17,732 --> 02:06:22,209
♫ He takes me in his arms
and lets me hold his face
2376
02:06:22,209 --> 02:06:26,393
♫ He holds me in his arms
and whispers something funny
2377
02:06:26,393 --> 02:06:29,850
♫ He lifts me in his arms
and tells me to embrace
2378
02:06:29,850 --> 02:06:32,651
♫ His attack
2379
02:06:32,651 --> 02:06:36,796
♫ Then the scene turns to black
2380
02:06:36,796 --> 02:06:39,080
♫ Life sucks
2381
02:06:39,080 --> 02:06:42,568
♫ People always hate a loser
and they hate lame ducks
2382
02:06:42,568 --> 02:06:44,506
♫ Screw me and shucks
2383
02:06:44,506 --> 02:06:47,707
♫ That's it, that's the ball game
2384
02:06:47,707 --> 02:06:49,707
♫ I don't smoke, don't do drugs
2385
02:06:49,707 --> 02:06:53,554
♫ And then comes the bad news, I quit
2386
02:06:53,554 --> 02:06:55,432
♫ That's the ball game
2387
02:06:55,432 --> 02:06:57,865
♫ It's the chink in the armor
2388
02:06:57,865 --> 02:07:02,041
♫ The unresolved karma, the blues
2389
02:07:02,041 --> 02:07:06,025
♫ Can I keep my cool despite
the urge to fall apart
2390
02:07:06,025 --> 02:07:07,927
♫ How should I start
2391
02:07:07,927 --> 02:07:11,468
♫ I would cry if I could
but it does no damn good
2392
02:07:11,468 --> 02:07:15,635
♫ To explain I'm a man in my prime
2393
02:07:16,581 --> 02:07:19,998
♫ You gotta die sometime
2394
02:07:23,006 --> 02:07:26,408
♫ Death's a funny pal with
a weird sort of talent
2395
02:07:26,408 --> 02:07:30,510
♫ He puts his arms around my
neck and walks me to the bed
2396
02:07:30,510 --> 02:07:34,871
♫ He pins me up against the
wall and kisses me like crazy
2397
02:07:34,871 --> 02:07:38,478
♫ The many stupid things
I thought about with dread
2398
02:07:38,478 --> 02:07:40,985
♫ Now delight
2399
02:07:40,985 --> 02:07:45,380
♫ Then the scene turns to white
2400
02:07:45,380 --> 02:07:48,675
♫ Give me the balls to
orchestrate a graceful leave
2401
02:07:48,675 --> 02:07:52,732
♫ That's my reprieve,
to go out without care
2402
02:07:52,732 --> 02:07:54,655
♫ My head high in the air
2403
02:07:54,655 --> 02:07:58,822
♫ It's the last little mountain I'll climb
2404
02:08:00,109 --> 02:08:02,526
♫ I'll climb
2405
02:08:03,858 --> 02:08:07,783
♫ You gotta die sometime
2406
02:08:07,783 --> 02:08:09,980
♫ You gotta die sometime
2407
02:08:09,980 --> 02:08:11,596
♫ You gotta die sometime
2408
02:08:11,596 --> 02:08:14,142
♫ You gotta die sometime, sometime
2409
02:08:14,142 --> 02:08:16,209
♫ Sometime, sometime
2410
02:08:16,209 --> 02:08:18,301
♫ Sometime, sometime
2411
02:08:18,301 --> 02:08:21,384
♫ Sometime, sometime
2412
02:08:24,030 --> 02:08:24,863
♫ Whizzer, hey
2413
02:08:24,863 --> 02:08:28,446
♫ Suddenly it all came clear
2414
02:08:28,446 --> 02:08:33,147
♫ I said, let's have my bar mitzvah here
2415
02:08:33,147 --> 02:08:34,472
♫ Surprise
2416
02:08:34,472 --> 02:08:37,453
♫ This was Jason's brilliant idea
2417
02:08:37,453 --> 02:08:40,540
♫ And I brought the prayer shawl
2418
02:08:40,540 --> 02:08:44,540
♫ Oooh it's Jason's bar mitzvah
2419
02:08:45,499 --> 02:08:46,890
♫ Don't you move
2420
02:08:46,890 --> 02:08:50,597
♫ Everything will soon be great
2421
02:08:50,597 --> 02:08:52,773
♫ Close your eyes
2422
02:08:52,773 --> 02:08:56,295
♫ While we redecorate
2423
02:08:56,295 --> 02:08:59,490
♫ I'll unwrap the billion hors d'oeuvres
2424
02:08:59,490 --> 02:09:02,666
♫ And someone, please, eat them
2425
02:09:02,666 --> 02:09:03,499
- Photo!
2426
02:09:03,499 --> 02:09:08,005
♫ Oooh, it's Jason's bar mitzvah
2427
02:09:08,005 --> 02:09:09,088
- Okay, nice.
2428
02:09:12,830 --> 02:09:16,997
♫ Lovely, flowers make things lovely
2429
02:09:18,735 --> 02:09:22,217
♫ Champagne makes things lovely, too
2430
02:09:22,217 --> 02:09:25,384
♫ Everything's amiss
2431
02:09:26,436 --> 02:09:30,353
♫ Drink up, anyone for bubbly
2432
02:09:32,108 --> 02:09:36,275
♫ Probably, it's doubly
useful at a time like this
2433
02:09:39,463 --> 02:09:43,563
♫ Cheers
♫ Cheers
2434
02:09:43,563 --> 02:09:47,405
♫ And aren't things lovely
2435
02:09:47,405 --> 02:09:51,572
♫ I feel more helpless
than I have in years
2436
02:09:54,285 --> 02:09:55,262
♫ Try this on
2437
02:09:55,262 --> 02:09:58,784
♫ Mendel, get this thing in gear
2438
02:09:58,784 --> 02:10:02,951
♫ Please excuse me if I interfere
2439
02:10:04,658 --> 02:10:08,287
♫ But I feel that, since I'm the host
2440
02:10:08,287 --> 02:10:11,796
♫ It's me who should toast him
2441
02:10:11,796 --> 02:10:14,397
♫ Oooh, oooh
2442
02:10:14,397 --> 02:10:18,292
♫ To Jason's bar mitzvah
2443
02:10:18,292 --> 02:10:20,293
♫ I notified the nurses
2444
02:10:20,293 --> 02:10:23,757
♫ Told them please to not intrude
2445
02:10:23,757 --> 02:10:25,204
♫ I passed around the food
2446
02:10:25,204 --> 02:10:26,910
♫ And dumped some extra food
2447
02:10:26,910 --> 02:10:29,960
♫ 'Cause, Lord knows, we've got plenty
2448
02:10:29,960 --> 02:10:33,888
♫ She's cooked for some 200 guests
2449
02:10:33,888 --> 02:10:37,067
♫ We number not that many
2450
02:10:37,067 --> 02:10:40,484
♫ Actually, we're seven
2451
02:10:42,170 --> 02:10:43,877
♫ Maybe it's not dumb
2452
02:10:43,877 --> 02:10:47,877
♫ The way this whole thing ends
2453
02:10:49,831 --> 02:10:53,697
♫ The food tastes really yummy
2454
02:10:53,697 --> 02:10:56,114
♫ Oh, mummy
2455
02:10:59,576 --> 02:11:01,473
♫ The flowers seem to sparkle
2456
02:11:01,473 --> 02:11:05,601
♫ The candelabra sets the tone
2457
02:11:05,601 --> 02:11:07,587
♫ I must make things lovely
2458
02:11:07,587 --> 02:11:08,565
♫ The wine is very soothing
2459
02:11:08,565 --> 02:11:10,555
♫ Soothes the something, something
2460
02:11:10,555 --> 02:11:12,126
♫ Someone needed soothing
2461
02:11:12,126 --> 02:11:14,919
♫ Put everything in its place
2462
02:11:14,919 --> 02:11:17,386
♫ I think, perhaps, I'm overdressed
2463
02:11:17,386 --> 02:11:20,690
♫ I think, perhaps, it doesn't matter
2464
02:11:20,690 --> 02:11:22,360
♫ Ready for the band
2465
02:11:22,360 --> 02:11:23,553
♫ That you are
♫ Here we are
2466
02:11:23,553 --> 02:11:24,806
♫ Jason's bar mitzvah looks
2467
02:11:24,806 --> 02:11:28,973
♫ Like the books say it should, cheers
2468
02:11:31,061 --> 02:11:34,551
♫ And aren't things lovely?
2469
02:11:34,551 --> 02:11:37,884
♫ Everything is lovely
2470
02:11:39,778 --> 02:11:43,945
♫ I feel more helpless
than I have in years
2471
02:11:47,897 --> 02:11:50,237
♫ Here he comes
2472
02:11:50,237 --> 02:11:52,737
♫ Fix his tie
2473
02:11:53,909 --> 02:11:58,076
♫ Trina, try to make him smile more
2474
02:12:01,225 --> 02:12:03,975
♫ Don't know why
2475
02:12:05,698 --> 02:12:08,281
♫ But he looks
2476
02:12:09,357 --> 02:12:10,765
- Relax, relax.
2477
02:12:10,765 --> 02:12:13,265
♫ Like Marvin
2478
02:12:17,704 --> 02:12:21,735
♫ How did you turn out so great
2479
02:12:21,735 --> 02:12:25,670
♫ Who do I thank for the
man you've turned into
2480
02:12:25,670 --> 02:12:29,837
♫ Kid, do you know how proud I am
2481
02:12:31,317 --> 02:12:33,348
♫ If I don't show
2482
02:12:33,348 --> 02:12:36,699
♫ How proud I am
2483
02:12:36,699 --> 02:12:40,520
♫ You hold my dreams
kid, I burst at the seams
2484
02:12:40,520 --> 02:12:43,270
♫ 'Cause of you
2485
02:12:44,715 --> 02:12:48,776
♫ Son of Jacob, Isaac, and Abraham
2486
02:12:48,776 --> 02:12:52,943
♫ Son of Marvin, Son of Trina,
Son of Whizzer, Son of Mendel
2487
02:12:54,130 --> 02:12:58,205
♫ And godchild to the
lesbians from next door
2488
02:12:58,205 --> 02:13:00,872
♫ Sing oh, sing
2489
02:13:02,866 --> 02:13:06,699
(singing in foreign language)
2490
02:13:26,785 --> 02:13:27,785
- Thank you.
2491
02:14:00,168 --> 02:14:04,335
♫ What would I do if I had not met you
2492
02:14:07,096 --> 02:14:11,013
♫ Who would I blame my life on
2493
02:14:13,571 --> 02:14:15,828
♫ Once I was told
2494
02:14:15,828 --> 02:14:19,995
♫ That all men get what they deserve
2495
02:14:23,674 --> 02:14:27,634
♫ Who the hell then threw this curve
2496
02:14:27,634 --> 02:14:31,801
♫ There are no answers but who would I be
2497
02:14:33,101 --> 02:14:37,101
♫ If you had not been my friend
2498
02:14:40,661 --> 02:14:43,461
♫ You're the only one
2499
02:14:43,461 --> 02:14:47,016
♫ One out of a thousand others
2500
02:14:47,016 --> 02:14:51,016
♫ Only one my child would allow
2501
02:14:53,539 --> 02:14:56,437
♫ When I'm having fun
2502
02:14:56,437 --> 02:14:59,524
♫ You're the one I wanna talk to
2503
02:14:59,524 --> 02:15:02,662
♫ Where have you been
2504
02:15:02,662 --> 02:15:05,662
♫ Where are you now
2505
02:15:10,033 --> 02:15:11,959
♫ Who would I be
2506
02:15:11,959 --> 02:15:16,055
♫ If I had not loved you
2507
02:15:16,055 --> 02:15:20,055
♫ How would I know what love is
2508
02:15:22,630 --> 02:15:26,988
♫ God only knows, too soon
2509
02:15:26,988 --> 02:15:30,655
♫ I'll remember your faults
2510
02:15:32,199 --> 02:15:35,974
♫ Meanwhile, though,
it's tears and schmaltz
2511
02:15:35,974 --> 02:15:37,902
♫ There are no answers
2512
02:15:37,902 --> 02:15:41,431
♫ But what would I do
2513
02:15:41,431 --> 02:15:45,514
♫ If you had not been my friend
2514
02:15:49,175 --> 02:15:51,898
♫ All your life you've wanted men
2515
02:15:51,898 --> 02:15:55,950
♫ And when you got it up to have them
2516
02:15:55,950 --> 02:15:59,534
♫ Who knew it could end your life
2517
02:15:59,534 --> 02:16:04,464
♫ I left my kid and left
my wife to be with you
2518
02:16:04,464 --> 02:16:08,631
♫ To be insulted by such handsome men
2519
02:16:09,890 --> 02:16:12,638
♫ Do you regret
2520
02:16:12,638 --> 02:16:15,825
♫ I'd do it again
2521
02:16:15,825 --> 02:16:18,813
♫ I'd like to believe that I'd do it again
2522
02:16:18,813 --> 02:16:21,787
♫ And again and again
2523
02:16:21,787 --> 02:16:24,654
♫ And what more can I say?
2524
02:16:24,654 --> 02:16:25,965
♫ What more can I say?
2525
02:16:25,965 --> 02:16:28,692
♫ How am I to face tomorrow
2526
02:16:28,692 --> 02:16:32,859
♫ After being screwed out of today
2527
02:16:34,905 --> 02:16:38,049
♫ Tell me what's in store
2528
02:16:38,049 --> 02:16:41,129
♫ Yes, I'd beg or steal or borrow
2529
02:16:41,129 --> 02:16:45,950
♫ If I could hold you for one hour more
2530
02:16:45,950 --> 02:16:47,920
♫ One hour more
♫ One hour more
2531
02:16:47,920 --> 02:16:52,087
♫ One hour more
♫ One hour, one hour more
2532
02:16:53,394 --> 02:16:55,846
♫ What would I do
2533
02:16:55,846 --> 02:16:58,886
♫ If I had not seen you
2534
02:16:58,886 --> 02:17:02,803
♫ Who would I feast my eyes on
2535
02:17:05,341 --> 02:17:09,508
♫ Once I was told that good
men get better with age
2536
02:17:15,879 --> 02:17:19,322
♫ We're just gonna skip that stage
2537
02:17:19,322 --> 02:17:21,431
♫ There are no answers
2538
02:17:21,431 --> 02:17:24,957
♫ But what would I do
2539
02:17:24,957 --> 02:17:28,904
♫ If you had not been my friend
2540
02:17:28,904 --> 02:17:32,892
♫ There are no answers but what would I do
2541
02:17:32,892 --> 02:17:37,059
♫ No simple answers but what would I do
2542
02:17:38,700 --> 02:17:42,685
♫ If you had not been
2543
02:17:42,685 --> 02:17:45,018
♫ My friend
2544
02:17:50,306 --> 02:17:52,639
♫ My friend
2545
02:17:54,454 --> 02:17:56,787
♫ My friend
2546
02:18:19,403 --> 02:18:21,903
♫ Homosexuals
2547
02:18:23,660 --> 02:18:27,126
♫ Women with children
2548
02:18:27,126 --> 02:18:30,580
♫ Short insomniacs
2549
02:18:30,580 --> 02:18:34,080
♫ We're a teeny tiny band
2550
02:18:40,535 --> 02:18:44,202
♫ Lovers come and lovers go
2551
02:18:45,240 --> 02:18:49,323
♫ Lovers live and die fortissimo
2552
02:18:51,332 --> 02:18:55,332
♫ This is where we take a stand
2553
02:18:56,556 --> 02:19:00,056
♫ Welcome to Falsettoland
2554
02:19:26,342 --> 02:19:29,342
(audience applauds)
2555
02:20:12,897 --> 02:20:15,564
(piano medley)
178782
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