All language subtitles for Fight.Club.1999.1080p.MAX.WEB-DL.DDP.5.1.H.265-PiRaTeS

[♪ rock music playing]

[Narrator]
People are always asking me
if I know Tyler Durden.

[Tyler] Three minutes.
This is it. Ground zero.

Would you like
to say a few words
to mark the occasion?

[muffled]

[Narrator] With a gun barrel
between your teeth,
you speak only in vowels.

I can't think of anything.

For a second I totally forget
about Tyler's whole
controlled demolition thing,

and I wonder
how clean that gun is.

It's getting exciting now.

That old saying,
how you always hurt
the one you love?

Well, it works both ways.

-[sirens wailing]
-We've front row seats
for this

theater of
mass destruction.

The demolitions committee
of Project Mayhem,

wrapped the foundation columns
of a dozen buildings
with blasting gelatin.

In two minutes,
primary charges will
blow base charges,

and a few square blocks
will be reduced

-to smoldering rubble.
-[beeping]

I know this,
because Tyler knows this.

[Tyler] Two and a half.
Think of everything
we've accomplished.

And suddenly, I realize
that all of this...

the gun, the bombs,
the revolution...

has got something to do
with a girl named
Marla Singer.

Bob. Bob had bitch-tits.

This was a support group

-for men with
testicular cancer.
-[sobbing]

The big moosey slobbering
all over me... that was Bob.

We're still men.

Yes, we're men.

Men is what we are.

Eight months ago,
Bob's testicles were removed.
Then hormone therapy.

He developed bitch-tits
because his testosterone
was too high,

and his body
upped the estrogen.

-And that was where I fit.
-They're gonna have to open up
my pecs again

-and drain the fluid.
-Between those huge,
sweating tits

that hung enormous,
the way you'd think
of God's as big.

Okay. You cry now.

-No, wait. Back up.
Let me start earlier.
-[clock ticking]

For six months,
I couldn't sleep.

[echoing] I couldn't sleep.
I couldn't sleep.
I couldn't sleep.

With insomnia,
nothing's real.

Everything's far away.

Everything's a copy
of a copy of a copy.

-When deep space exploration
ramps up...
-[line ringing]

...it'll be the corporations
that name everything...

the IBM Stellarsphere,

the Microsoft Galaxy,

planet Starbucks.

Gonna need you out of town
a little more this week.

We got some
red flags to cover.

It must've been Tuesday.
He was wearing
his cornflower-blue tie.

You want me to de-prioritize
my current reports...

-Yeah.
-...until you advise
of a status upgrade?

Make these your primary
action items.

Here's your flight coupons.
Call me from the road
if there's any snags.

[Narrator]
He was full of pep.

Must have had
his grande latte enema.

Like so many others,
I had become a slave

-to the Ikea nesting instinct.
-[woman speaks indistinctly]

Uh, yes. I'd like to order
the Erika Pekkari
dust ruffles.

-[woman] Please hold.
-If I saw something clever,

like a little coffee table
in the shape of a yin-yang,
I had to have it.

The Klipske
personal office unit,

the Hovetrekke home exer-bike,

or the Johannshamn sofa
with the Strinne green
stripe pattern.

Even the Rizlampa wire lamps

of environmentally friendly
unbleached paper.

I'd flip through catalogs
and wonder...

What kind of dining set
defines me as a person?

I had it all...
even the glass dishes

with tiny bubbles
and imperfections,

proof that they were crafted
by the honest, simple,

-hard-working indigenous
peoples of...
-[woman] Please hold.

-...wherever.
-I was holding.

-[automated voice]
Your call is important to us.
-We used to read pornography.

Now it was
the Horchow collection.

No, you can't die
from insomnia.

What about narcolepsy?
I nod off.
I wake up in strange places.

-I have no idea
how I got there.
-You need to lighten up.

Can you please just
get me something?

[Narrator]
Red and blue Tuenols,
lipstick-red Seconals.

No. You need healthy,
natural sleep.

Chew some valerian root
and get more exercise.

Hey, come on.
I'm in pain.

You wanna see pain?
Swing by First Methodist
Tuesday nights.

See the guys
with testicular cancer.

That's pain.

[♪ chorus vocalizing
in distance]

I always wanted three kids.
Two boys and a girl.

Mindy wanted
two girls and a boy.

We never could
agree on anything.

Well, uh, you know, she...

She had her first child
last week, a... a girl.

With... With her, uh...
With her new husband.

[man whispering] Fuck.

And... And thank God,
you know? [chuckles]

I'm...
I'm glad for her.

[whimpering]
Because she deserves it.

Aw.

Everyone, let's thank Thomas
for sharing himself with us.

[all] Thank you, Thomas.

I look around this room,
and I see a lot of courage,

and that gives me strength.

We give each other strength.

It's time for the one-on-ones.
So let's all of us here

follow Thomas' good example,
and really open ourselves up.

Would you find a partner,
please?

[Narrator] And this is how
I met the big moosey.

[man] Come on.
Let's go over here.

[Narrator] His eyes already
shrink-wrapped in tears.

Knees together.
Those awkward little steps.

-My name is Bob.
-Bob...

[Narrator] Bob had been
a champion bodybuilder.

You know that
chest-expansion program
you see on late-night TV?

-That was his idea.
-I was a juicer.

You know, using steroids.

Diabonal and...

Wistrol.

Oh, they use that
on racehorses,
for Christ's sakes.

And now I'm bankrupt.

I'm divorced.

My two grown kids...

won't even return
my phone calls. [sniffles]

[Narrator] Strangers
with this kind of honesty
make me go a big rubbery one.

Go ahead, Cornelius.

You can cry.

[crying]

-[Narrator] And then,
something happened.
-[crying continues]

-I let go.
-That's really good.

Lost in oblivion,
dark and silent
and complete.

[♪ choir music playing]

I found freedom.

Losing all hope
was freedom.

It's okay.

[grunts]

-Babies don't sleep
this well.
-[snores]

I became addicted.

[people chattering]

[chattering]

[Narrator] If I didn't
say anything,

people always
assumed the worst.

-[man 1] Welcome, Travis.
-[man 2] Welcome, Travis.

-They cried harder.
-[sobbing]

Then I cried harder.

[group chattering]

[woman] Now we're going
to open the green door...

the heart chakra.

-[Narrator]
I wasn't really dying.
-[woman continues]

I wasn't host to cancer
or parasites.

I was the warm little center
that the life of this world
crowded around.

Imagine your pain
as a white ball
of healing light.

It moves over your body,
healing you.

Now, keep this going.
Remember to breathe,

and step forward through
the back door of the room.

Where does it lead?
To your cave.

Step forward
into your cave.

That's right.

You're going deeper
into your cave,

and you're going to find
your power animal.

[cooing]

Slide.

[giggles]

[Narrator]
Every evening I died...

and every evening
I was born again.

Resurrected.

[men sobbing]

Bob loved me because
he thought my testicles
were removed, too.

Being there,
pressed against his tits,

ready to cry.

This was my vacation.

And she... ruined...
everything.

This is cancer, right?

This chick, Marla Singer,

did not have
testicular cancer.

She was a liar.

She had no diseases at all.

I had seen her at Free
and Clear, my blood parasites
group Thursdays.

Then at Hope, my bimonthly
sickle-cell circle.

And again at Seize the Day,
my tuberculosis Friday night.

[coughing]

Marla, the big tourist.

Her lie reflected my lie,

and suddenly, I felt nothing.

I couldn't cry.

So once again,
I couldn't sleep.

Next group,
after guided meditation,

after we open
our heart chakras,
when it's time to hug,

I'm gonna grab
that little bitch
Marla Singer and scream...

Marla, you liar!
You big tourist!

I need this! Now get out!

[clock ticking]

[Narrator] I hadn't slept
in four days.

[man on TV] Absolutely.
We'll just let that dry.

[Narrator]
When you have insomnia,
you're never really asleep,

-and you're
never really awake.
-[applause on TV]

-[bells tolling]
-[woman] To begin
tonight's communion,

Chloe would like
to say a few words.

[Narrator] Oh, yeah. Chloe.

Chloe looked the way
Meryl Streep's skeleton
would look

if you made it smile
and walk around the party
being extra nice to everybody.

Well, I'm still here,

but I don't know
for how long.

That's as much certainty
as anyone can give me.

But I've got
some good news.

I no longer have
any fear of death.

But I am
in a pretty lonely place.

No one will have sex
with me.

I'm so close to the end,
and all I want is to
get laid for the last time.

I have pornographic movies
in my apartment...

and lubricants
and amyl nitrate.

Thank you, Chloe.

Everyone, let's thank Chloe.

-[woman] Thanks, Chloe.
-[members] Thank you, Chloe.

[coughing]

Now, let's ready ourself
for guided meditation.

You're standing at
the entrance of your cave.

You step inside your cave,
and you walk.

[Narrator]
If I did have a tumor,

-I'd name it Marla.
-It's a very quiet place.

Marla... the little scratch
on the roof of your mouth

that would heal if only
you could stop tonguing it,
but you can't.

[woman] Step deeper
into your cave as you walk.

You feel the healing energy
of this place all around you.

Now find your power animal.

Slide.

[woman] Okay.
Now let's partner up.

Pick someone special
to you tonight.

[chattering]

Hey.

-We need to talk.
-Sure.

-I'm on to you.
-What?

Yeah. You're a faker.
You're not dying.

Sorry?

In the Tibetan philosophy,
Sylvia Plath
sense of the word,

I know we're all...
we're all dying, all right?

But you're not dying the way
Chloe back there is dying.

So?

So you're a tourist.
Okay? I've seen you.

I saw you...
saw you at melanoma.
Saw you at tuberculosis.

I saw you at
testicular cancer.

I saw you practicing this.

-Practicing what?
-Telling me off.

Is it going as well
as you hoped, "Rupert"?

-I'll expose you.
-Go ahead.
I'll expose you.

[woman]
All right, come together.
Let yourselves cry.

[crying softly]

Oh, God, why
are you doing this?

It's cheaper than a movie,
and there's free coffee.

No, look.
This is important, okay?

These are my groups.
I've been coming here
for over a year.

Why do you do it?

I don't know.
When people think
you're dying,

man, they really,
really listen to you
instead of just--

Instead of just waiting
for their turn to speak?

Yeah. Yeah.

-Share yourself...
completely.
-[moans]

Look, you don't want
to get into this.
It becomes an addiction.

-Really?
-I'm not kidding.

I can't cry if
there's another faker
present, and I need this.

So you got to find
somewhere else to go.

Candy-stripe a cancer ward.
It's not my problem.

Wait, wait...
Wait a second.
Ho-Hold on.

I'll tell you.
We're gonna split up
the week, okay?

You take lymphoma
and tuberculosis--

You take tuberculosis.
My smoking doesn't
go over at all.

-Okay. Good. Fine.
-[coughs]

Testicular cancer should be
no contest, I think.

Well, technically,
I have more right to
be there than you.

-You still have your balls.
-You're kidding.

-I don't know. Am I?
-No. No.

-What do you want?
-I'll take the parasites.

You can't have both
the parasites, but why don't
you take the blood parasites--

-I want brain parasites.
-I'll take
the blood parasites,

-but I'm gonna take the
organic brain dementia, okay?
-I want that.

You can't have
the whole brain.

-So far you have four.
I only have two.
-Okay.

Take both the parasites.
They're yours.
Now we both have three.

Hey, you left
half your clothes!

[tires squealing]

[car horns honking]

What, are you
selling those?

Yes! I'm selling
some clothes.

So, we each have three.
That's six.

What about the seventh day?
I want ascending bowel cancer.

-[Narrator] The girl had
done her homework.
-Thank you.

No. No.
I want bowel cancer.

That's your favorite, too?
Tried to slip it by me, eh?

Look, we're gonna
split it, okay?

Take the first
and third Sunday
of the month.

[horns honking in distance]

Deal.

Looks like this is goodbye.

Well, let's not make
a big thing out of it, okay?

How's this for not
making a big thing?

[door opens]

Hey, Marla!

-[horn honks]
-Marla!

May-Maybe we should
exchange numbers.

-Should we?
-We might want
to switch nights.

Okay.

[♪ humming]

[Narrator]
This is how I met
Marla Singer.

[♪ humming continues]

Marla's philosophy of life
was that she might die
at any moment.

The tragedy, she said,
was that she didn't.

It doesn't have your name.
Who are you?

-Cornelius? Rupert? Travis?
-[horns honking]

Any of the stupid names
you give each night?

-[turbulence]
-[Narrator] You wake up
at Sea-Tac,

S.F.O., L.A.X.

-[camera shutter clicks]
-You wake up at O'Hare,

Dallas-Fort Worth,

B.W.I.,

Pacific, Mountain, Central.

Lose an hour.
Gain an hour.

Check-in for that
flight doesn't begin
for another two hours, sir.

This is your life,
and it's ending
one minute at a time.

-[bell dings]
-You wake up
at Air Harbor International.

[woman on PA]
...the aircraft has
come to a complete stop.

[Narrator] If you
wake up at a different time,
in a different place,

could you wake up
as a different person?

Everywhere I travel...
tiny life.

Single-serving sugar.
Single-serving cream.

Single pat of butter.

The microwave Cordon Bleu
hobby kit.

Shampoo-conditioner combos.

Sample package mouthwash.
Tiny bars of soap.

[man]
...professional wait staff--

[Narrator]
The people I meet
on each flight,

they're
single-serving friends.

Between takeoff and landing,
we have our time together,

but that's all we get.

[all] Welcome!

[Narrator] On a long enough
time line, the survival rate
for everyone drops to zero.

I was a recall coordinator.
My job was
to apply the formula.

Here's where the infant went
through the windshield.
Three points.

[Narrator]
A new car built
by my company

leaves somewhere
traveling at
60 miles per hour.

The rear differential
locks up.

[man] The teenager's
braces are wrapped around
the backseat ashtray.

Might make
a good anti-smoking ad.

[Narrator]
The car crashes and burns
with everyone trapped inside.

Now, should we
initiate a recall?

The father must've been huge.
You see where the fat's
burned to the seat?

The polyester shirt?

-Very modern art.
-[chuckles]

[Narrator] Take the number of
vehicles in the field, "A,"

multiply it by the probable
rate of failure, "B,"

then multiply the result
by the average out-of-court
settlement, "C."

"A" times "B" times "C"

equals "X."

If "X" is less
than the cost of a recall,

we don't do one.

Are there a lot
of these kinds
of accidents?

You wouldn't believe.

Which car company
do you work for?

A major one.

[Narrator]
Every time the plane
banked too sharply

on takeoff or landing,
I prayed for a crash,
or a midair collision.

Anything.

[screaming]

Life insurance pays off triple
if you die on a business trip.

[dings]

"If you are seated in
an emergency exit row."
Yeah.

"And you feel
you would be unable
or unwilling to perform

the duties listed
on the safety card,

please ask a flight attendant
to reseat you."

It's a lot
of responsibility.

Wanna switch seats?

No. I'm not sure I'm the man
for that particular job.

An exit-door procedure
at 30,000 feet. Mm-hmm.

The illusion of safety.

Yeah. I guess so.

You know why they put
oxygen masks on planes?

So you can breathe.

Oxygen gets you high.

In a catastrophic emergency,
you're taking giant,
panicked breaths.

Suddenly you become
euphoric, docile.

You accept your fate.

It's all right here.

Emergency water landing,
600 miles an hour.

Blank faces,
calm as Hindu cows.

That's, um...

That's an interesting theory.

-What do you do?
-What do you mean?

What do you do
for a living?

Why? So you can pretend
like you're interested?

[laughs] Okay.

You have a kind of
sick desperation
in your laugh.

We have
the exact same briefcase.

-Soap.
-Sorry?

I make and I sell soap.

The yardstick
of civilization.

-[Narrator]
And this is how I met--
-"Tyler Durden."

Did you know if you mixed
equal parts of gasoline

and frozen
orange juice concentrate,
you can make napalm?

No, I did not know that.
Is that true?

That's right. One can make
all kinds of explosives
using simple household items.

-Really?
-If one were so inclined.

[briefcase latches click]

Tyler, you are by far
the most interesting

"single-serving"
friend I've ever met.

See, I have this thing...
Everything on a plane
is single-serving, even--

-Oh, I get it.
It's very clever.
-Well, thank you.

How's that working out
for you?

-What?
-Being clever.

Great.

Keep it up then.
Keep it right up.

[sighs] Now a question
of etiquette.

As I pass, do I give you
the ass or the crotch?

[Narrator]
How I came to live
with Tyler is...

Airlines have this policy
about vibrating luggage.

[woman speaks indistinctly
on PA]

Was... Was it ticking?

Actually, throwers don't
worry about ticking,

'cause modern bombs
don't tick.

-Sorry. "Throwers"?
-Baggage handlers.

But when a suitcase vibrates,
then the thrower's
gotta call the police.

My suitcase...
was vibrating?

Nine times out of 10,
it's an electric razor,

but every once in a while...

[whispering] it's a dildo.

Of course, it's company policy
never to imply ownership
in the event of a dildo.

We have to use
the indefinite article,
"A" dildo.

Never... "your" dildo.

I don't own--

[Narrator] I had everything
in that suitcase...

My CK shirts, my DKNY shoes,

my AX ties.

-Never mind.
-[tires squealing]

[man] Hey! That's my car!

-[police radio chatter]
-[siren wailing]

[Narrator]
Home was a condo
on the 15th floor

of a filing cabinet for widows
and young professionals.

The walls were
solid concrete.

A foot of concrete's important
when your next-door neighbor
lets her hearing aid go

and has to watch game shows
at full volume.

Or when a volcanic blast
and debris

that used to be your furniture
and personal effects

blows out of your
floor-to-ceiling windows

and sails flaming
into the night.

[helicopter circling]

[police radio chatter]

I suppose
these things happen.

There's nothing up there.

You can't go into the unit.
Police orders.

Do you have somebody
you can call?

[Narrator] How embarrassing.
A house full of condiments
and no food.

The police would later tell me
that the pilot light
might have gone out,

letting out just
a little bit of gas.

That gas could have
slowly filled the condo--

1,700 square feet
with high ceilings
for days and days.

[dialing]

-[line ringing]
-Then the refrigerator's
compressor

could've clicked on.

[ringing]

[Marla clears throat] Yeah?

-I can hear you breathing,
you--
-[handset settles in cradle]

[Narrator]
If you asked me now,

I couldn't tell you
why I called him.

[line ringing]

-[engine starts]
-[ringing continues]

[vehicle departs]

[rings]

[ringing continues]

Hello?

[Tyler] Who's this?
[crunching]

Tyler?

-Who is this?
-Um... [clears throat]

We met...
We met on the airplane.
We had the same suitcase.

-[crunching continues]
-Uh, the clever guy.

[Tyler] Oh. [laughing]
Oh, yeah. Right. Okay.

I called a second ago.
There was no answer.
I'm at a pay phone.

Yeah. I star-69ed you.
I never pick up my phone.
[crunching]

-So, what's up, man?
-Uh, well...

You're not gonna
believe this.

[Tyler] You know, man,
it could be worse.

A woman could
cut off your penis
while you're sleeping

and toss it out the window
of a moving car.

There's always that.
I don't know. It's just...

When you buy furniture,
you tell yourself, "That's it.

That's the last sofa
I'm gonna need."

Whatever else happens,
I've got that
sofa problem handled.

I had it all. I had a stereo
that was very decent,

a wardrobe that was getting
very respectable.

I was close
to being complete.

-Shit, man.
Now it's all gone.
-All gone.

Hmm. All gone.

Do you know
what a duvet is?

-Comforter.
-It's a blanket.

Just a blanket.
Why do guys like you and I
know what a duvet is?

Is this essential
to our survival

in the hunter-gatherer
sense of the word?

No. What are we then?

We're, uh...
I don't know.
Consumers.

Right. We are consumers.

We are by-products of
a lifestyle obsession.

Murder, crime, poverty...
These things don't concern me.

What concerns me are
celebrity magazines,

television
with 500 channels,

some guy's name
on my underwear.

Rogaine, Viagra, olestra.

-Martha Stewart.
-Fuck Martha Stewart.

Martha's polishing the brass
on the Titanic.
It's all going down, man.

So fuck off
with your sofa units

and Strinne green
stripe patterns.

I say,
never be complete.

I say, stop being perfect.
I say, let... let's evolve.

Let the chips
fall where they may.

But that's me,
and I could be wrong.
Maybe it's a terrible tragedy.

Nah. It's just...
It's just stuff.

-It's not a tragedy, but--
-Well, you did lose

a lot of versatile solutions
for modern living.

Fuck. You're right.
No. I don't smoke.

My... My insurance is probably
gonna cover it, so...

[grunts]

What?

The things you own
end up owning you.

But do what
you like, man.

[groans]
Oh, it's late.

-Hey, thanks for the beer.
-Yeah, man.

I should find a hotel.

-[groans]
-What?

-What?
-A hotel?

-Yeah.
-Just ask, man.

-What are you talking about?
-[chuckles] Oh, God.

Three pitchers of beer,
and you still can't ask.

-What?
-You called me 'cause you
needed a place to stay.

-Oh, hey, hey... No, no, no.
I didn't mean--
-Yes, you did. So just ask.

Cut the foreplay
and just ask, man.

Would... Would that
be a problem?

Is it a problem
for you to ask?

-Can I stay at your place?
-Yeah.

Thanks.

-I want you to do me a favor.
-Yeah, sure.

I want you to hit me
as hard as you can.

What?

I want you to hit me
as hard as you can.

[Narrator] Let me tell you
a little bit
about Tyler Durden.

Tyler was a night person.

While the rest of us
were sleeping, he worked.

He had one part-time job
as a projectionist.

See, a movie doesn't come
all on one big reel.
It comes on a few.

So someone has to be there
to switch the projectors

at the exact moment
that one reel ends
and the next one begins.

If you look for it,
you can see
these little dots

come into
the upper right-hand
corner of the screen.

[beep]

In the industry,
we call them
"cigarette burns."

That's the cue
for a changeover.

He flips the projectors,
movie keeps right on going,

and nobody in the audience
has any idea.

Why would anyone want
this shit job?

Because it affords him other
interesting opportunities.

Like splicing single frames
of pornography
into family films.

So when the snooty cat
and the courageous dog
with the celebrity voices

meet for the first time
in reel three,

that's when you'll catch
a flash of Tyler's
contribution to the film.

[♪ singing in movie]

-[woman moans]
-[♪ singing continues]

Nobody knows
that they saw it,
but they did.

A nice, big cock.

[♪ singing continues]

[crying]

Even a hummingbird couldn't
catch Tyler at work.

[♪ soft piano music playing]

Tyler also works sometimes
as a banquet waiter

at the luxurious
Pressman Hotel.

-[urinating]
-He was
the guerrilla terrorist

in the food service
industry.

Do not watch.
I cannot go
when you watch.

Apart from seasoning
the lobster bisque,

he farted on meringues,
sneezed on braised endive.

And as for the cream
of mushroom soup, well--

-[chuckles] Go ahead.
Tell them.
-You get the idea.

What do you want me to do?
You just want me to hit you?

Come on.
Do me this one favor.

-Why?
-Why? I don't know why.
I don't know.

-I've never been in a fight.
You?
-No, but that's a good thing.

No, it is not. How much
can you know
about yourself

if you've never
been in a fight?

I don't wanna die
without any scars.

So, come on.
Hit me before
I lose my nerve.

Oh, God.
This is crazy. I--

-So go crazy. Let 'er rip.
-Hey, I don't know about this.

I don't either,
but who gives a shit?

-No one's watching.
What do you care?
-Wait.

-This is crazy.
You want me to hit you?
-That's right.

-What, like, in the face?
-[laughing] Surprise me.

This is so fucking stupid.

[train horn blowing
in distance]

[grunts]

Motherfucker!

-You hit me in the ear!
-Well, Jesus, I'm sorry.

Ow! Christ!
Why the ear, man?

-Aw, I fucked it up kinda.
-No. That was perfect.

[grunts]

-[groaning]
-[chuckles]

Nah, it's all right.

-You okay?
-That really hurts.

-Right.
-Hit me again.

[laughing] No.
You hit me. Come on.

[both grunting]

[siren wailing in distance]

We should do this
again sometime.

[chuckles]

-Where's your car?
-What car?

[belches]

[Narrator] I don't know how
Tyler found that house,

but he said
he'd been there
for a year.

-It looked like it was
waiting to be torn down.
-[groans]

Most of the windows
were boarded up.

There was no lock
on the front door

from when the police,
or whoever kicked it in.

-The stairs
were ready to collapse.
-[board cracks]

I didn't know if he owned it
or if he was squatting.

Neither would have
surprised me.

Yep. That's you.

That's me.
That's the toilet.
Good?

Yeah. Thanks.

-[Narrator] What a shit-hole.
-[springs clang]

-Nothing worked.
-[water pipes rumble]

Turning on one light
meant another light
in the house went out.

There were no neighbors,
just some warehouses
and a paper mill.

That fart smell of steam,
the hamster cage smell
of wood chips.

After work tomorrow,
we'll be--

Hey. What have we here?

[both grunting]

Hold on. Hold on.
[groans]

-Hey, guys.
-Hey.

-Hey.
-It's cool. [grunts]

[♪ whistling]

[Narrator]
Every time it rained,
we had to kill the power.

By the end
of the first month,
I didn't miss TV.

That's it. Okay.

I didn't even mind the warm,
stale refrigerator.

[both grunting]

Can I be next?

All right, man.
Lose the tie.

-[glass shatters]
-Ooh! [laughs]

[Narrator] At night,
Tyler and I were alone
for a half a mile

in every direction.

-[glass shatters]
-You got it.

[dog barking]

Rain trickled down
through the plaster
and the light fixtures.

Everything wooden
swelled and shrank.

Everywhere were rusted nails
to snag your elbow on.

The previous occupant
had been
a bit of a shut-in.

-[bell dings]
-Hey, man,
what are you reading?

Listen to this.
It's an article written by
an organ in the first person.

"I am Jack's
medulla oblongata.

"Without me, Jack could not
regulate his heart rate,
blood pressure or breathing."

There's a whole series
of these.

-I Am Jill's Nipples.
-[clattering]

-I Am Jack's Colon.
-Yeah. "I get cancer.
I kill Jack."

Whoa... Ohh!

[Narrator] After fighting,
everything else in your life
got the volume turned down.

[hushed] What are you getting
yourself into every week?

-What?
-[Narrator] You could deal
with anything.

[hushed] Have you finished
those reports?

-[water splashes]
-[Tyler] If you could fight
anyone, who would you fight?

-[scrubbing]
-I'd fight my boss, probably.

Really?

Yeah. Why?
Who would you fight?

-I'd fight my dad.
-I don't know my dad.

I mean, I know him,
but he left when I was,
like, six years old,

married this other woman
and had some other kids.

He, like, did this
every six years.

He goes to a new city
and starts a new family.

Fucker settin' up franchises.

My dad never went to
college, so it was real
important that I go.

-That sounds familiar.
-So I graduate.
I call him up long distance.

I say, "Dad, now what?"
He says, "Get a job."

-Same here.
-Now I'm 25.

I make my yearly call again.
I say, "Dad, now what?"

He says, "I don't know.
Get married."

[scoffs] I mean...
I can't get married.

-[thunder rumbles]
-I'm a 30-year-old boy.

We're a generation of men
raised by women.

I'm wondering if
another woman is really
the answer we need.

[Narrator] Most of the week,
we were Ozzie and Harriet.

-[♪ whistling]
-But every Saturday night,

-we were finding
something out.
-[men shouting]

We were finding out
more and more that
we were not alone.

[men groaning]

[man] Who turned
the lights off?

It used to be that
when I came home
angry or depressed...

-[man] Good night, Marla.
-...I'd just clean my condo,

polish my Scandinavian
furniture.

I should've been looking
for a new condo.

I should've been haggling
with my insurance company.

I should've been
upset about my nice,
neat flaming little shit.

But I wasn't.

The basic premise
of cyber-netting any office
is make things more efficient.

[Narrator] Monday mornings,
all I could do was
think about next week.

Can I get the icon
in cornflower blue?

Absolutely.
Efficiency is priority
number one, people.

Because waste is a thief.

I showed this already
to my man here.
You liked it, didn't you?

[hisses]

[Narrator] You can swallow
a pint of blood
before you get sick.

It was right
in everyone's face.

Tyler and I
just made it visible.

It was on the tip
of everyone's tongue.

Tyler and I just
gave it a name.

[♪ rock music playing]

[♪ man singing indistinctly]

Come on, people,
you gotta go home.

[♪ music continues]

Turn off the jukebox.
Lock the back.

-[man 1] Keep it down.
-[man 2 hawks]

-Keep it down.
-[spits]

[Narrator] Every week,
Tyler gave the rules
that he and I decided.

Gentlemen...

welcome to Fight Club.

[switch clicks]

The first rule
of Fight Club is

you do not talk
about Fight Club.

The second rule
of Fight Club is

you do not talk
about Fight Club.

Third rule of Fight Club...

Someone yells "stop,"
goes limp, taps out,
the fight is over.

-Fourth rule...
Only two guys to a fight.
-[scattered laughter]

Fifth rule...
One fight at a time, fellas.

-[laughter]
-Sixth rule...
No shirts, no shoes.

Seventh rule...
Fights will go on
as long as they have to.

And the eighth
and final rule...

If this is your first night
at Fight Club,

you have to fight.

[loud shouting, cheering]

[Narrator]
This kid from work, Ricky,

couldn't remember
whether you ordered pens
with blue ink or black.

-Come on, man!
-But Ricky was a God
for 10 minutes

when he trounced the maitre d'
of a local food court.

Sometimes, all you could hear
were the flat, hard packing
sounds over the yelling.

Or the wet choke when
someone caught their breath
and sprayed--

-Stop!
-You weren't alive anywhere
like you were there.

But Fight Club only exists
in the hours

between when Fight Club starts
and when Fight Club ends.

Even if I could tell someone
they had a good fight,

I wouldn't be talking
to the same man.

Who you were in Fight Club
is not who you were
in the rest of the world.

The guy who came to Fight Club
for the first time,

his ass
was a wad of cookie dough.

After a few weeks,
he was carved out of wood.

If you could fight
any celebrity,
who would you fight?

-Alive or dead?
-It doesn't matter.
Who'd be tough?

Hemingway. You?

Shatner.
I'd fight William Shatner.

[Narrator] We all started
seeing things differently.

-[clattering]
-Everywhere we went,
we were sizing things up.

I felt sorry for guys
packed into gyms,

trying to look like
how Calvin Klein

or Tommy Hilfiger
said they should.

Is that what a man looks like?

[laughing] Ahh.
Self-improvement is
masturbation.

Now, self-destruction...

-Excuse me.
-[woman coughing]

[man screaming]

[all shouting]

Pound his ass!
Hit him again, man!
Come on! Hit him!

[shouting continues]

[Narrator]
Fight Club wasn't about
winning or losing.

It wasn't about words.

The hysterical shouting
was in tongues,

like in a Pentecostal church.

-Is that it?
-Stop! Stop!

When the fight was over,
nothing was solved,

-but nothing mattered.
-Hey, cool.

[Narrator]
Afterwards, we all felt saved.

Hey, man,
how about next week?

-How about next month?
-I hear you.

Irvin, you're in the middle.
New guy. You too.

[Narrator] Sometimes,
Tyler spoke for me.

Fell down some stairs.

I fell down some stairs.

Fight Club became the reason
to cut your hair short,
or trim your fingernails.

Okay.
Any historical figure.

I'd fight Gandhi.

-Good answer.
-How about you?

-Lincoln.
-Lincoln?

Mm. Big guy, big reach.
Skinny guys fight
till they're burger.

[groans] Fuck.

Hey. Even the Mona Lisa's
falling apart.

[rings]

Hello.

[Marla] Where have you been
the last eight weeks?

-Marla?
-[karate yell]

-How'd you find me?
-You left
that forwarding number.

I haven't seen you
in any support groups.

Yeah, we split them up.
That was the idea, remember?

Yeah, but you haven't
been going to yours.

-How do you know?
-I cheated.

-[karate yell]
-I found a new one.

-Really?
-It's for men only.

-Like the testicle thing?
-[karate yell]

-Look, this is a bad time.
-I've been going
to Debtors Anonymous.

-You wanna see some
really fucked-up people?
-I'm just on my way out.

Me too. I've got
a stomach full of Xanax.

I took what was left
of a bottle.

It might have been too much.

[Narrator] Just picture
watching Marla Singer
throw herself

around her crummy apartment.

But this isn't
a for-real suicide thing.

This is probably one of those
cry-for-help things.

[Narrator]
This could go on
for hours.

So you're staying in
tonight then?

Do you wanna wait
and hear me describe death?

Do you wanna listen

and see if my spirit
can use a phone?

-[clattering]
-Have you ever heard
a death rattle before?

[♪ intense music playing]

[Narrator] Tyler's door
was closed. I'd been
living here for two months,

and Tyler's door
was never closed.

[footsteps on stairs]

You won't believe this dream
I had last night.

Yeah, I can hardly believe
anything about last night.

[gargles, chuckles]

What...
What are you doing here?

What?

This is my house.
What are you doing
in my house?

Fuck you.

[cup clatters]

[Tyler laughs] Ah!

Oh, you got
some fucked-up friends,
I'm tellin' you.

[chuckling]
Limber, though.

Silly cooze.

So I come in last night.
Phone's off the hook.

Guess who's on the other end.

[Narrator]
I already knew the story
before he told it to me.

[Marla] Have you ever heard
a death rattle before?

Do you think it'll
live up to its name?

Or will it just be
a death hair ball?

[coughs]

Prepare... to evacuate soul.

Ten, nine, eight--

[Narrator]
Now, how could Tyler,
of all people,

think it was a bad thing that
Marla Singer was about to die?

[Marla] Five, four,

three... Oh, hang on.

You got here fast.

[♪ woman singing
indistinctly]

Did I call you?

Huh?

Hey. [chuckles]

[stifled laugh]

The mattress is all sealed
in slippery plastic.

[rattling]

Oh, don't worry.
It's not a threat to you.

[siren wailing]

Oh, fuck.

Somebody called the cops.

[police radio chatter]

-[radio chatter continues]
-[officer] Back there!

[officers shouting]

-513... Where's 513?
-Oh, end of the hall.

You know, the girl
who lives there used to
be a charming, lovely girl.

-[dog barking]
-She's lost faith in herself.

-Miss Singer!
-She's a monster.

You have every reason
to live!

She's infectious human waste!

-Miss Singer!
-Good luck trying
to save her!

If I fall asleep,
I'm done for.

You're gonna have
to keep me up

all night.

Un-fucking-believable.
[coughs]

[Narrator]
He was obviously
able to handle it.

You know what I mean.
You fucked her.

No, I didn't.

-Never?
-No.

-You're not into her, are you?
-No! God, not at all.

[Narrator]
I am Jack's
raging bile duct.

Are you sure?
You can tell me.

-Believe me, I'm sure.
-[Narrator] Put a gun
to my head

and paint the walls
with my brains.

That's good, 'cause
she's a predator posing
as a house pet.

Stay away from that one.

[chuckling]

And the shit that came out
of this woman's mouth,
I ain't never heard.

My God.

I haven't been fucked
like that since grade school.

-[shudders]
-[Narrator] How could Tyler
not go for that?

The night before last,
he was splicing
sex organs into Cinderella.

Marla doesn't need a lover.
She needs
a fucking caseworker.

She needs a wash.
And she's in love
with sport fuckin'.

[Narrator]
She invaded my support groups.
Now she'd invaded my home.

Hey, hey. Sit down.

Now, listen. Can't have you
talking to her about me.

-Why would I talk to her--
-You say anything about me
or what goes on in this house

to her or to anybody,
we're done.

-Now promise me.
-Okay.

-You promise?
-Yeah, I promise.

-Promise.
-I just said I promise.

That's three times
you promised.

[Narrator]
If only I had wasted
a couple of minutes

and gone to watch
Marla Singer die,

none of this
would've happened.

-[Marla moaning loudly]
-[loud thumping]

[Marla] Oh, my God!
Yeah! Oh! Harder! Harder!

Yes! Ooh! Aah!

Aah! Ohh! Aah!

[Tyler and Marla
shouting, grunting]

[Narrator] I could've moved
to another room

on the third floor,
where I might not
have heard them.

[shouting continues]

-But I didn't.
-[rats squeaking]

[Marla moaning]

-[loud thumping]
-[moaning, screaming]

-[slapping]
-[moaning, screaming continue]

[Marla screaming loudly]

-[Marla and Tyler screaming]
-[bed thumping]

[rattling]

-What are you doin'?
-Just goin' to bed.

-[Marla moaning]
-You want to finish her off?

-[gasps] Oh!
-[clattering]

No. No, thank you.

[Marla]
I found the cigarettes.

-Who are you talking to?
-Shut up.

-[Marla moaning]
-[Narrator] I became the calm
little center of the world.

-I was the Zen master.
-[Tyler grunting]

I wrote little haiku poems.

I e-mailed them to everyone.

-Is that your blood?
-[modem connecting]

Some of it, yeah.

-You can't smoke in here.
-[snickers]

Take the rest of the day off.
Come back Monday
with some clean clothes.

Get yourself together.

[Narrator] I got right
in everyone's
hostile little face.

Yes, these are bruises
from fighting.

Yes, I'm comfortable
with that.

I... am enlightened.

You give up the condo life,

give up all your flaming
worldly possessions,

go live in
a dilapidated house

-in a toxic-waste part
of town...
-[Tyler grunting]

-...and you have to
come home to this.
-[loud thumping]

[phone rings]

[Tyler and Marla
moaning and shouting]

[Marla screaming loudly]

[rings]

-Hello?
-Yes. This is Detective Stern
with the arson unit.

We have some
new information
about the incident

-at your former condo.
-Yes?

I don't know if you're aware,
but it seems that
someone sprayed Freon

into your front door lock,

then tapped it with a chisel
to shatter the cylinder.

No, I wasn't aware
of that at all.

[Narrator]
I am Jack's cold sweat.

Does this sound
strange to you?

Uh, yes, sir.
Strange. Very strange.

-The dynamite...
-Dynamite?

...left a residue
of ammonium oxalate
potassium chloride.

-Do you know what this means?
-No. What does it mean?

It means it was homemade.

I'm sorry. This is just coming
as quite a shock to me, sir.

See, whoever set
this homemade dynamite

could've blown out
your pilot light days before
the actual explosion.

The gas was
just the detonator.

Who would go
and do such a thing?

-I'll ask the questions.
-Tell him.

Tell him the liberator
who destroyed my property

has realigned my perception.

[detective] Excuse me.
Are you there?

No, I am listening.

It's a little hard to know
what to make of all this.

Have you recently made
enemies with anyone

who might have access
to homemade dynamite?

-Enemies?
-Reject the basic assumptions
of civilization,

especially the importance
of material possessions.

-[detective] Son,
this is serious.
-Yes, I know it's serious.

-I mean that.
-Yes, it's very serious.

Look, nobody takes this
more seriously than me.
That condo was my life.

Okay? I loved every stick
of furniture in that place.

That was not just
a bunch of stuff
that got destroyed.

-It was me!
-[Narrator] I'd like
to thank the Academy.

[detective] Is this not
a good time for you?

-Just tell him
you fuckin' did it.
-Shh!

Tell him you blew it all up.
That's what he wants to hear.

-Are you still there?
-Wait.

-Are you saying
that I'm a suspect?
-No, no.

I may need to talk
to you a little further,

so how about you just
let me know if you're
gonna leave town?

-Okay?
-Okay.

[Narrator] Except for their
humping, Tyler and Marla
were never in the same room.

My parents pulled this
exact same act for years.

The condom
is the glass slipper
of our generation.

You slip one on
when you meet a stranger.

You dance all night.

Then you throw it away.

-The condom, I mean.
Not the stranger.
-[lighter flicks]

What?

[chuckles]

[inhales] I got this dress at
a thrift store for one dollar.

It was worth every penny.

It's a bridesmaid's dress.

Someone loved it intensely
for one day,

then tossed it.

Like a Christmas tree.

So special.

Then, bam.

It's on the side of the road,

tinsel still clinging to it...

like a sex crime victim,

underwear inside out,

bound with electrical tape.

Well, then it suits you.

You can borrow it sometime.

[stomping on stairs]

Get rid of her.

-Why can't you get rid of her?
-Don't mention me.

[Narrator]
I'm six years old again,

passing messages
between parents.

You know what,
I really think it's time
you got out of here.

-Don't worry. I'm leaving.
-Not that we don't love
your little visits.

You know,
you are such a nutcase.
I can't even begin to keep up.

[bottle clatters]

♪ Gotta get off ♪

Thanks. Bye.

♪ Gotta get off
this merry-go-round ♪

♪ Gonna get, need to get ♪

♪ Gotta get on where ♪

[chuckling]

You kids.

Wh-Why do you still
waste time with her?

I'll say this about Marla...
At least she's tryin'
to hit bottom.

What, and I'm not?

Stickin' feathers up your butt
does not make you a chicken.

What are we doin' tonight?

-Tonight?
-Yeah.

-We make soap.
-Really?

To make soap,
first we render fat.

[walkie-talkie squawks]

[man on walkie-talkie,
indistinct]

The salt balance has
to be just right,

so the best fat
for making soap
comes from humans.

-Wait. What is this place?
-A liposuction clinic.

Aha! Pay dirt.

The richest, creamiest fat
in the world.

Fat of the land.

No...

Don't pull it.
No, don't pull it.

[grunting, muttering]

-Oh, God! Oh!
-Get another one. [grunts]

As the fat renders,
the tallows float
to the surface.

Like in Boy Scouts.

It's hard to imagine you
as a Boy Scout.

Keep stirrin'.

Once the tallow hardens,
we skim off
a layer of glycerin.

If you were
to add nitric acid,
you got nitroglycerin.

If you were then to add
sodium nitrate and a dash
of sawdust, you got dynamite.

Yeah, with enough soap,

one could blow up
just about anything.

[Narrator] Tyler was full
of useful information.

Now, ancient peoples found
that clothes got cleaner

when they washed them
at a certain point
in the river.

-You know why?
-No.

[mutters]

'Cause human sacrifices
were once made on the hills
above this river.

Bodies burned. Water
seeped through the wood
and ashes to create lye.

This is lye,
the crucial ingredient.

Once it mixed
with the melted fat
of the bodies,

a thick, white,
soapy discharge
crept into the river.

May I see your hand, please?

-[kisses]
-What is this?

-This is a chemical burn.
-Uh... [screams]

It'll hurt more than
you've ever been burned,

-and you will have a scar.
-What are you doing?

[Narrator] If guided
meditation worked for cancer,
it could work for this.

-Stay with the pain.
Don't shove this out.
-No, no! Oh, God!

Look at your hand.
The first soap was made
from the ashes of heroes,

like the first monkey
shot into space.

Without pain,
without sacrifice,
we would have nothin'.

[Narrator] I tried not
to think of the words
"sear" or "flesh."

Stop it! This is your pain.
This is your burning hand.
It's right here.

I'm going to my cave.
I'm going to my cave.

I'm gonna find
my power animal.

No! Don't deal with it
the way those dead people do!
Come on!

I get the point!
Okay! Please!

No. What you're feeling
is premature enlightenment.

[coughs]

This is the greatest moment
of your life, man, and you're
off somewhere missing it.

I am not...
[shouting, indistinct]

Shut up. Our fathers were
our models for God.

If our fathers bailed,
what does that
tell you about God?

-No, no--
-Listen to me.

You have to consider
the possibility

that God does not like you,
and he never wanted you.

In all probability,
he hates you.

-This is not the worst thing
that can happen.
-It isn't?

-We don't need him.
-We don't! I agree!

Fuck damnation, man.
Fuck redemption.

-We are God's
unwanted children? So be it!
-[shouting, indistinct]

Listen! You can run water
over your hand
to make it worse,

or... Look at me!

Or you can use vinegar
to neutralize the burn.

-Please let me have it!
Please!
-First you have to give up.

First you have to know...
not fear...

know that someday
you're gonna die.

You don't know
how this feels!
[sobbing]

It's only after
we've lost everything that
we're free to do anything.

Okay. [whimpering]

Congratulations.

You're one step closer
to hitting bottom.

[Narrator] Tyler sold
his soap to department stores
at $20 a bar.

-God knows what they charged.
-This is the best soap.

-Why, thank you, Suzie.
-It was beautiful.

We were selling rich women
their own fat asses
back to them.

He was wearing
his yellow tie.

I didn't even wear a tie
to work anymore.

"The first rule of Fight Club
is you don't talk
about Fight Club"?

I'm half asleep again.
I must've left the original
in the copy machine.

"The second rule
of Fight Club..."
Is this yours?

-Huh?
-Pretend you're me.

Make a managerial decision.

You find this.
What would you do?

Well, I gotta tell ya,

I'd be very,
very careful who you
talk to about that.

Because the person
who wrote that
is dangerous.

And this buttoned-down,
oxford cloth psycho
might just snap

and then stalk
from office to office

with an Armalite AR-10
carbine gas-powered
semiautomatic weapon,

pumping round after round
into colleagues and coworkers.

This might be someone
you've known for years,

someone very,
very close to you.

[Narrator] Tyler's words
coming out of my mouth.

And I used to be
such a nice guy.

Or maybe you just
shouldn't bring me

every little piece of trash
you happen to pick up.

[phone rings]

Compliance and Liability.

My tit's gonna rot off.

Will you excuse me?
I need to take this.

What are you talking about?

I need you to check
and see if there's a lump
in my breast.

-Go to a hospital.
-I can't afford to throw money
away on a doctor.

-I don't know
about this, Marla.
-Please?

[Narrator]
She didn't call Tyler.
I'm neutral in her book.

That's nice.
Taking food to
Mrs. Hannaburr, Mrs. Raines?

-Where are they, exactly?
-Tragically, they're dead.

I'm alive,
and I'm in poverty.
You want any?

-No. No, thank you.
-I got one for you.

Thanks for the thought.

What happened to your hand?

Uh, nothin'.

-Right there?
-Mmm.

Feel anything?

-No.
-Well, make sure.

-Okay, I'm... I'm pretty sure.
-You feel nothing?

No. Nothing.

Well, that's a relief.
Thank you.

-Uh, I mean, no problem.
-I wish I could return
the favor.

There's not
a lot of breast cancer
in the men in my family.

Could check your prostate.

Uh, I think I'm okay.

Well, thanks anyway.

-Are we done?
-Yeah, we're done.

See you... around.

[men chattering]

Cornelius?

Cornelius!

It's me... Bob!

Hey, Bob.

-[grunts]
-We all thought you were dead.

No, no. Still here.
[chuckles]

How are you, Bob?

Better than I've ever been
in my whole life.

Really? You still
remaining men together?

No, no. I got somethin'
so much better now.

Really? What is it?

Well, first rule is

I'm not supposed
to talk about it.

And the second rule is,
I'm not supposed
to talk about it.

-And the third rule is--
-Bob. Bob. I'm a member.

Look at my face, Bob.

[laughing]

That's fuckin'...
That's fuckin' great.

-I've... I've never
seen you there.
-I go Tuesdays and Thursdays.

-I go Saturday.
-Congratulations.

Yeah. Hey,
to both of us,
right?

-Have you heard about the guy
that invented this thing?
-Well, uh, yeah, actually. I--

-I hear all kinds of things.
-Yeah?

Supposedly, he was born
in a mental institution.

And he sleeps only
one hour a night.

-He's a great man.
-Oh--

Do you know
about Tyler Durden?

[men shouting, cheering]

[shouts]

Take him down!
Take him down!

-Take him down!
-[grunting]

[cheering]

Yeah!

I didn't hurt you, did I?

Actually, you did.

Thank you for this.
Thank you,
thank you, thank you.

-[Narrator] Fight Club.
-[laughing]

-Bob... Bob... No, Bob.
-This was mine
and Tyler's gift...

our gift to the world.

-Look around. Look around.
I see a lot of new faces.
-[laughter]

-Shut up!
-[laugher stops]

Which means a lot of you
have been breaking the first
two rules of Fight Club.

Man, I see in Fight Club
the strongest and smartest
men who've ever lived.

I see all this potential.
And I see it squandered.

God damn it,
an entire generation
pumping gas,

waiting tables.

Slaves with white collars.

Advertising has us chasing
cars and clothes,

working jobs we hate
so we can buy shit
we don't need.

We're the middle children
of history, man.

No purpose or place.

We have no great war,
no great depression.

Our great war's
a spiritual war.

Our great depression
is our lives.

We've all been
raised on television
to believe that one day

we'd all be millionaires
and movie gods and rock stars.

But we won't.

And we're slowly
learning that fact.

And we're very,
very pissed off.

-[men] Yeah!
-[murmuring]

The first rule
of Fight Club is

-you do not talk about--
-[loud banging]

-Who are you?
-Who am I?

Yeah.

There's a sign in the front
that says "Lou's Tavern."

I'm fuckin' Lou.
Who the fuck are you?

Tyler Durden.

Who told you motherfuckers
that you could use my place?

-We have a deal
worked out with Irvin.
-Irvin?

Irvin's at home with
a broken collarbone.

He don't own this place.
I do.

-How much money
is he gettin' for this?
-There is no money.

-Really?
-Free to all.

-Ain't that somethin'?
-It is, actually.

Look, stupid fuck,

-I want everybody
outta here right now.
-Hey.

You should join
our club.

-Did you hear
what I just said?
-You and your friend.

-[grunting]
-You hear me now?

No, I didn't quite
catch that, Lou.

[spits, groans]

-Still not gettin' it.
-Hey...

[groans] Okay, okay, okay.
I got it.

I got it. I got it.
Shit, I lost it.

Back! All of you!

-[gun cocks]
-Everybody back.

[laughing]

[laughing continues]

Aw, Lou.

Come on, man.
We really like this place.

[groans, laughs hysterically]

-Oh! Oh! Oh.
That's right, Lou, get it out.
-Shut the fuck up!

Oh, yeah!

Yeah! [laughing hysterically]

[laughing continues]

-Think that's fuckin' funny?
-Oh, Lou!

Lou! [laughing hysterically]

Ow.

Fuckin' guys are loony.
I'm tellin' ya.

-Unbelievable.
-[screams]

-[coughs] You don't know
where I've been, Lou.
-Oh, my God!

You don't know
where I've been!
[laughing]

-Lou! Please let us keep it,
Lou! Please, Lou!
-Okay!

Fuckin' use the basement!
Christ!

I want your word, Lou!
I want your word!

On my mother's honor.

[groaning]

[screaming, gagging]

-Thanks, Lou.
-[gagging continues]

You too, big guy.

We'll see you next week.

This week, each one of you
has a homework assignment.

You're gonna go out,
and you're gonna start a fight
with a total stranger.

[men murmuring]

You're gonna
start a fight.

And you're gonna lose.

Excellent choice, sir.

Hey! Watch out, jackass!
Come on!

[Narrator] Now, this is not
as easy as it sounds.

I'm thinkin' you really...
What? Son of a bitch...

-[Narrator] Most people--
normal people...
-[shouting]

...do just about anything
to avoid a fight.

Excuse me. You sprayed me
with your hose. I don't--

-Like that?
-That's not necessary.

Dave! Go call 911!

-[screams]
-Put the hose down. Stop it!

Stop it!

Sorry.

[shouting indistinctly]

Leave me alone! You crazy?

[grunts]

[grunting]

Bastard!

We need to talk.

-Okay.
-[door closes]

Where to begin?
With your constant
absenteeism?

With your unpresentable
appearance?

You're up for review.

I am Jack's
complete lack of surprise.

-What?
-Let's pretend.

You're the department
of transportation. Okay?

Someone informs you
that this company

installs front seat
mounting brackets

that never pass
collision tests,

brake linings that fail
after a thousand miles,

and fuel injectors
that explode
and burn people alive.

What then?

-Are you threatening me?
-No.

-Get the fuck outta here.
You're fired.
-I have a better solution.

You keep me on the payroll
as an outside consultant.

And in exchange for my salary,
my job will be never
to tell people

these things that I know.

I don't even have
to come into the office.
I can do this job from home.

Who... Who the fuck
do you think you are,
you crazy little shit?

-Security?
-[Narrator] I am Jack's
smirking revenge.

[groans]

What the hell are you doing?

[groans, coughing]

[groans] That hurt.

Why would you do that?

Oh, my God.
No! Please stop!

[choking]

What are you doing?

Oh, God, no! Please! No!

[Narrator]
For some reason, I thought of
my first fight... with Tyler.

No!

[groaning]

Under and behind and inside

everything this man
took for granted,

something horrible
had been growing.

Now, look. Just give me
the paychecks like I asked,

and you won't
ever see me again.

And right then, at our most
excellent moment together--

Oh, thank God. Please don't
hit me again! Please!

-Telephone, computer,
fax machine...
-[whistling]

Fifty-two weekly paychecks
and 48 airline flight coupons.

We now had
corporate sponsorship.

This is how Tyler and I were
able to have Fight Club
every night of the week.

[shouting, cheering]

Now nobody was the center
of Fight Club
except the two men fighting.

The leader walked
through the crowd,
out in the darkness.

Tyler was now involved
in a class-action lawsuit

with the Pressman Hotel
over the urine content
of their soup.

[screaming]

I am Jack's wasted life.

Yeah! Yeah!
[laughs] Yeah!

[man] Thank you, sir.

[Narrator] Tyler dreamed up
new homework assignments.

He handed them out
in sealed envelopes.

[whirring]

[whirring]

Did you know there's
a Fight Club up
in Delaware City?

Yeah, I heard.

-[alarm wailing]
-There's one
in Penn's Grove, too.

-Leave it.
-Bob even found one
up in Newcastle.

Yeah.
Did you start that one?

-No. I thought you did.
-Nah.

[scoffs]

[alarm wailing]

[cooing]

-Stop for a second.
-Hey, what are we doing?

-Turn around.
-What are we doing?

-Homework assignment.
-What kind of homework
assignment?

Human sacrifice.

Hey, is that a gun?
Please... Please tell me
that's not a gun.

-It's a gun.
-What are you doing?

-Meet me in the back.
-No... Hey, don't fuck
around. This isn't--

Meet me in the back.

-[Narrator] On a long
enough time line...
-Fuck!

...the survival rate
for everyone drops to zero.

-[whimpering]
-Stop. What are you doing?
Come on.

-Hands behind your back.
-God.

Give me your wallet.

Raymond K. Hessel,
1320 Southeast Banning,
apartment A.

-Small, cramped basement
apartment, Raymond?
-How did you know?

'Cause they give
shitty basement apartments
letters instead of numbers.

Raymond, you're going to die.

-[sobbing] Oh, my God, no.
-Is that your mom and dad?

Mom and Dad are gonna
have to call up kindly
Dr. So-and-So

to pick up
your dental records.
Wanna know why?

-'Cause there's gonna be
nothing left of your face.
-[whimpering]

-Aw, come on. Come on!
-An expired community college
student ID.

-What'd you study, Raymond?
-S-S-Stuff.

Stuff?
Were the midterms hard?

-I asked you
what you studied.
-Biology, mostly.

-Why?
-I... I don't know.

What did you want to be,
Raymond K. Hessel?

The question, Raymond,

was what did you
want to be?

Answer him, Raymond!
Jesus!

-Veterinarian! Veterinarian!
-Animals.

-Yeah, animal s-s--
-Stuff. Yeah, I got that.

-That means you have
to get more schooling.
-Too much school.

-Would you rather be dead?
-No.

Would you rather die, here,
on your knees, in the back
of a convenience store?

[whimpering]
No. No, please. No.

[hammer releases]

I'm keeping your license.

Gonna check in on you.
I know where you live.

If you're not on your way
to becoming a veterinarian

in six weeks,
you will be dead.

[whimpering]

Now run on home.

Run, Forrest, run!

I feel ill.

Imagine how he feels.

Come on. This isn't funny!

That wasn't funny.
What the fuck
was the point of that?

Tomorrow will be
the most beautiful day
of Raymond K. Hessel's life.

His breakfast will taste
better than any meal
you and I have ever tasted.

[Narrator]
You had to give it to him.

-Come on.
-He had a plan.

And it started to make sense
in a Tyler sort of way.

No fear. No distractions.

The ability to let
that which does not matter
truly slide.

You are not your job.

You're not how much money
you have in the bank.

You're not
the car you drive.

You're not the contents
of your wallet.

You're not
your fuckin' khakis.

You're the all-singing,
all-dancing crap of the world.

[footsteps on stairs]

I'll be out of your way
in a sec.

You don't have to go.

Whatever.

No, I mean, uh...
It's okay.

[clattering]

[tools whirring]

[hammering]

You still going to groups?

Yeah.

-Chloe's dead.
-Wow. Chloe.

When did that happen?

Do you care?

I don't know.
I haven't thought
about it in a while.

Yeah, well,

it was the smart move
on her part.

Hey, listen, um...

What... What are you
getting out of all this?

What?

I mean, all this.
Why do you keep...

Is this making you happy?

Yeah, well, sometimes.

Wh... I don't know.
I don't understand.

I mean, why does
a weaker person need to
latch on to a strong person?

What...
What is that?

What do you get out of it?

No, that's... that's
not the same thing at all.

I mean, we're...
It's totally different
with us.

-We're... We're--
-"Us"?

-[saw whirring]
-What do you mean by "us"?

-I'm sorry. Do you hear this?
-Hear what?

You're not hearing
all that noise?
Just hold on a second.

No, wait.
What were you saying?

Don't change the subject.
I want to talk about this.

-You're not talking
about me, are you?
-No. What?

That day you came over
to my place to play doctor.
What was going on there?

What are you
talking about?

-Nothing. Nothing.
-I don't think so.

-Come on.
What do you want?
-Look at me.

-No. What?
-Look at me.

-What is that?
-It's nothing.
Don't worry about it.

-Oh, my God.
Who did this?
-A person.

-Guy or girl?
-What do you care
if it's a guy or a girl?

-What do you care if I ask?
-It's none of your business.
Leave me alone.

-You're afraid to say it.
-I am not afraid to say.
Let me go.

-No! Talk to me.
-Let go of me.
Leave me alone.

-This conversation...
-"This conversation..."

-...is over.
-"...is over."

I just can't win
with you, can I?

Hey, you know,
this is getting a little old.

[doorbell rings]

Wh... What...
What is all this?

What do you think?

Hey, why do we need
bunk beds?

Hey!

Too young.

Sorry.

What's all that?
What--

Right. If the applicant
is young, tell him
he's too young.

-Old, too old.
Fat, too fat.
-Applicant?

If the applicant
then waits for three days

without food, shelter,
or encouragement,

he may then enter
and begin his training.

Training for what?

You think this is a game?

You're too young
to train here. End of story.

Now quit wasting our time.
Get the fuck out of here.

[door opens, closes]

Bad news, friend.

It's not gonna happen.

I'm sorry if there was
a misunderstanding.

It's not
the end of the world.
Just go away.

Go. 'Cause
you are trespassing,

and I will have
to call the police.

Don't you look at me.
Do you think you're ever
getting in this house?

You're never getting
in this fucking house.

Never. Now get
the fuck off my porch.
Get off my porch!

[Narrator]
Sooner or later, we all became
what Tyler wanted us to be.

And I'm gonna go inside
and I'm gonna get a shovel.

-You got two black shirts?
-Sir.

-Two pair black pants?
-Yes, sir.

-One pair black boots?
-Sir.

-Two pair black socks?
-Sir.

-One black jacket?
-Sir.

-$300 personal burial money?
-Yes, sir.

All right.

[snickers]

You're too old, fat man.

Your tits are too big.
Get the fuck off my porch.

Bob. Bob. Listen...

[chattering, indistinct]

Like a monkey
ready to be shot into space.

Space monkey.

Ready to sacrifice himself
for the greater good.

[crickets chirping]

You are too
fucking old, fatty!

And you...

You're too fucking...

blond!

Get out of here,
the both of you!

-[door slams]
-[Narrator] And so it went.

[Tyler] Listen up, maggots.

You are not special.

You are not a beautiful
or unique snowflake.

You are the same
decaying organic matter
as everything else.

[Narrator]
Tyler built himself an army.

[Tyler]
We are the all-singing,
all-dancing crap of the world.

We are all part of
the same compost heap.

[Narrator]
Why was Tyler Durden
building an army?

To what purpose?

For what greater good?

In Tyler we trusted.

[man] No, no, no, no.
When he was like,

"You are not your job,"
I was like, "Yeah!" I mean...

-Hey, what's all this?
-[laughs] Hey.

Okay! What's going on?

-Go on in. We're celebrating.
-What are we celebrating?

Go on.

[♪ singing on TV]

-Hey.
-Let me get that for you.

-[man belches]
-[chattering on TV]

[man on TV] Same great taste.
Pepsi... Generation Next.

-[♪ news theme music playing]
-[men shushing]

[woman on TV] Investigators
are on the scene right now.

Hold on.
Police Commissioner
Jacobs has just arrived.

Commissioner. Commissioner,
could you please tell us what
you think has happened here?

We believe this is one of many
recent acts of vandalism
around the city

somehow related to
underground boxing clubs.

We will be coordinating
a rigorous investigation.

[woman 1] That was
Police Commissioner Jacobs,

who just arrived
on the scene here
of a four-alarm fire

-that broke out
about an hour ago.
-Boy, she's hot.

Live from the Parker Morris
Building, Lauren Sanchez.
Back to you in the studio.

-[woman 2] It was just--
-[man] Yeah!

-Yeah.
-[laughing]

Holy shit.

-Yeah!
-...a controlled blaze
that may have started--

[laughter]

[men whooping]

What the fuck
did you guys do?

[woman 1]
...how the blaze started,

but arson investigators
are on the premises

-and a hazardous materials...
-[laughing]

-If you're just joining us...
-Sir, the first rule
of Project Mayhem is

you do not
ask questions, sir.

[woman 1] ...broke out about
an hour ago at the Parker
Morris Building downtown.

Police Commissioner Jacobs
is on the scene conducting
an investigation...

The victory in
the war against crime
will not come overnight.

It will take dedication
and commitment...

-[inaudible]
-...and most of all,
cooperation.

The streets are safer now.
There's hope
in the inner city.

-However, this is
only the beginning.
-I gotta take a piss.

These are the first steps
in a long journey.

-That is why we have
created Project Hope--
-Bob.

"Helping Others With
Prevention and Enforcement."

Project Hope
will be a joint effort

between the police
and community leaders.

It will be
a powerful new weapon
in the war against crime.

[applause]

[gasping, grunts]

[muffled scream]

[Tyler screams]

[Tyler] Wrap it around the top
of his hacky sack, Bob.

-Man. His balls are ice cold.
-[muffled whimpering]

Hi. You're gonna call off
your rigorous investigation.

You're gonna publicly
state that there is no
underground group, or

-these guys are gonna
take your balls.
-[muffled] No!

[Tyler] They're gonna send one
to the New York Times

and one to the L.A. Times,
press-release style.

Look.

The people you are after
are the people you depend on.

We cook your meals.
We haul your trash.

We connect your calls.
We drive your ambulances.

We guard you while you sleep.

Do not fuck with us.

[Muffled Screaming]
No! No! No!

[grunts]

Fooled ya.

[train rumbling]

[inaudible]

Bob, you're this way.

Let's go.

[Narrator] I am Jack's
inflamed sense of rejection.

Hey!

[distorted shouting]

-[shouting, cheering]
-Yeah!

[laughs]

[cheering, shouting]

[shouting fades]

[inaudible]

[Narrator] I felt like putting
a bullet between the eyes

of every panda that wouldn't
screw to save its species.

I wanted to open
the dump valves

on oil tankers and smother
all those French beaches
I'd never see.

I wanted to breathe smoke.

[spits]

Where'd you go,
psycho boy?

I felt like destroying
something beautiful.

[gagging]

-Get him
to a fuckin' hospital.
-You got it.

Don't worry, Mr. Durden.
Airport parking, long term.

After you, Mr. Durden.

After you.

[tires screech]

-Something on your mind, dear?
-No.

All right, yeah.
Why wasn't I told
about Project Mayhem?

[both] First rule
of Project Mayhem is
you do not ask questions.

-What are you talking about?
-Why didn't you include me
in the beginning?

Fight Club was the beginning.
Now it's moved out
of the basement.

It's called Project Mayhem.

You and I started
Fight Club together.
Do you remember that?

It's as much mine
as it is yours, you know.

-Is this about you and me?
-Yeah. I thought we were
doing this together.

You're missing the point.
This does not belong to us.

-We are not special.
-Fuck that.
You should've told me.

[horn honking]

-Hey, Tyler!
-[honking]

-God damn it, Tyler!
-What do you want?

Statement of purpose?
Should I e-mail you?

-Should I put this
on your action item list?
-Oh, look--

-You decide your own
level of involvement!
-I will!

I want to know
certain things first.

-[both] The first rule
of Project Mayhem--
-Shut up!

-I want to know
what you're thinking.
-Fuck what you know.

You need to forget
about what you know.
That's your problem.

Forget about what
you think you know
about life, about friendship,

and especially
about you and me.

Wh... What?
What is that supposed
to mean? What...

What are you doing?

Guys, what will you wish
you'd done before you die?

-Paint a self-portrait.
-Build a house.

-Hey--
-And you?

I don't know.
Nothing. Nothing.

Come on,
get in the right lane.

I have to know
the answer to this question.
If you were to die right now,

how would you feel
about your life?

I don't know!
I wouldn't feel anything
good about my life.

Is that what you want
to hear me say?
Fine. Come on!

-Not good enough.
-[honking]

Stop fucking around! Tyler!

[honking]

Jesus Christ!

God damn it!
God damn it! Fuck you!

Fuck Fight Club. Fuck Marla.
I am sick of all your shit.

[chuckles]
Okay, man. Okay.

-Quit screwing around.
Take the wheel.
-Look at you.

-Take the wheel, all right?
-Look at you!
You're fuckin' pathetic!

Why? Why?
What are you talking about?

Why do you think
I blew up your condo?

What?

[Tyler] Hitting bottom
isn't a weekend retreat.

It's not a goddamn seminar.

Stop trying to
control everything,
and just let go.

Let go!

All right. Fine.

Fine.

[grunting]

[Narrator] I'd never been
in a car accident.

This must have been what
all those people felt like

before I filed them
as statistics in my reports.

-Goddamn.
-Huh?

[laughing hysterically]

We just had
a near-life experience!

-[water dripping]
-[distorted voices,
indistinct]

[Tyler] In the world I see,

you're stalking elk through
the damp canyon forest

around the ruins
of Rockefeller Center.

[distorted voices continue]

You'll wear leather clothes
that will last you
the rest of your life.

You'll climb the rich,
thick kudzu vines
that wrap the Sears Tower.

And when you look down,
you'll see tiny figures
pounding corn,

laying strips of venison
in the empty carpool lane

of some abandoned
superhighway.

-Feel better, champ.
-[mutters]

[door closes]

[birds chirping]

[Narrator] And then...

-Tyler?
-...Tyler was gone.

Was I asleep?

Had I slept?

[man] You are not a beautiful
and unique snowflake,
you understand me?

[Narrator]
The house had become
a living thing,

wet inside from so many people
sweating and breathing.

We are all part of
the same compost heap.

So many people moving,
the house moved.

Planet Tyler.
I had to hug the walls.

Trapped inside this
clockwork of space monkeys.

You can't be smoking in here.
Do you know how much ether
we have in this fucking house?

Cooking and working
and sleeping in teams.

[phone ringing]

Hang on a second.
I'll have to call you
right back. Yeah.

[modem connecting]

[radio chatter]

It's under control, sir.

Where is Tyler?

Sir, the first rule
of Project Mayhem
is you do not ask--

Right, uh... Okay.

[Narrator] I'm all alone.

My father dumped me.
Tyler dumped me.

I am Jack's broken heart.

What comes next
in Project Mayhem,
only Tyler knows.

The second rule is
you do not ask questions.

Get the fuck away from me.
Get the fuck away from me!

Who are all these people?

Paper Street Soap Company.

Can I come in?

He's not here.

What?

Tyler isn't here.

Tyler went away.

Tyler's gone.

[train horn blows in distance]

[dog barking in distance]

[man shouting]
Jesus, get some help!

[men shouting]

All right!
Lay him down!

Got two gunshot wounds
comin' through!
Clear some fucking room!

What happened?
What happened?

We were on assignment.
We were supposed to kill
two birds with one stone.

-Destroy a piece
of corporate art...
-[beeping]

Operation Latte Thunder, go.

And trash a franchise
coffee bar.

We had it
all worked out, sir.

-It went smooth until--
-Police! Freeze!

-What?
-They shot Bob.

-They shot him in the head.
-Those fuckin' pigs!

[men groaning]

[man] Oh, God.

Those motherfuckers!

You morons.

You're running
around in ski masks,
trying to blow things up.

What did you think
was gonna happen?

Okay, quick. We gotta
get rid of the evidence.
We gotta get rid of this body!

-Bury him.
-What?

Take him to the garden
and bury him.

-Come on, people! Let's go!
-Hey! Get your fucking hands--

Get away from him!
What are you talking about?

This isn't a fucking
piece of evidence.
This is a person!

He's a friend of mine,
and you're not gonna bury him
in the fucking garden.

He was killed serving
Project Mayhem, sir.

-This is Bob.
-But, sir, in--

In Project Mayhem
we have no names.

No, you listen to me.
This is a man,
and he has a name.

And it's Robert Paulson, okay?

-Robert Paulson?
-He's a man,

and he's dead now
because of us, all right?

Do you understand that?

I understand.

In death, a member
of Project Mayhem

has a name.

His name is Robert Paulson.

His name is Robert Paulson.

-His name--
-[all] Is Robert Paulson.

[all] His name
is Robert Paulson.

-Come on, guys.
Please, stop it.
-His name is Robert Paulson.

His name is Robert Paulson.

-His name is Robert Paulson.
-Shut up!
This is all over with!

His name is Robert Paulson.
His name is Robert Paulson.

-[quietly] I have
to find Tyler.
-His name is Robert Paulson.

His name is Robert Paulson.
His name is Robert Paulson.

His name is Robert Paulson.
His name is Robert Paulson.

His name is Robert Paulson.
His name is Robert Paulson.

[chanting continues]

[phone rings]

Tyler?

No, this is Detective Stern
of the arson unit.

I need to see you
in my office--

[echoing]
His name is Robert Paulson.

[Narrator] I went to
all the cities on Tyler's
used ticket stubs, barhopping.

I didn't know how or why,
but I could look
at 50 different bars,

and somehow I just knew.

I'm looking for Tyler Durden.
It's very important
that I talk to him.

I wish I could help you...

sir.

Every city I went to...

-Hey!
-...as soon as I set foot
off the plane,

I knew a Fight Club was close.

Hey! Hey!

Taxi!

Look at my face.
I'm a member.

Now, I just need to know
if you've seen Tyler.

I'm not exposed to...
speak any such
information to you,

nor would I, even if I had
said information you want
at this juncture, be able.

-You're a moron.
-I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to ask you to leave.

-[Narrator] Tyler had
been busy...
-[inaudible]

...setting up franchises
all over the country.

[crowd shouting]

Was I asleep?

-[crowd shouting]
-Had I slept?

Is Tyler my bad dream,
or am I Tyler's?

-We've just heard the stories.
-What kind of stories?

Like, nobody knows
what he looks like.

He has facial
reconstructive surgery
every three years.

That's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard.

Is it true about
Fight Club in Miami?

Is Mr. Durden
building an army?

[Narrator] I was living in
a state of perpetual deja vu.

Everywhere I went,
I felt I'd already been there.

It was like following
an invisible man.

The smell of dried blood.

Dirty, bare footprints
circling each other.

That aroma of old sweat,
like fried chicken.

The feel of a floor still warm
from a fight the night before.

I was always just
one step behind Tyler.

[men] His name
is Robert Paulson.

His name is Robert Paulson.
His name is Robert Paulson.

His--

Welcome back, sir.

How have you been?

Do you know me?

Is this a test, sir?

No, this is not a test.

You were in here
last Thursday.

Thursday?

You were standing
exactly where you are now,
asking how good security is.

It's tight as a drum, sir.

Who do you think I am?

Are you sure
this isn't a test?

No, this is not a test.

You're Mr. Durden.

You're the one
who gave me this.

[Narrator] Please return
your seat backs

to their full,
upright, and locked position.

[line rings]

[phone ringing]

-Yeah?
-Marla, it's me.

-Have we ever done it?
-Done what?

-Have we ever had sex?
-What kind of stupid
question is that?

Is it stupid because
the answer's yes,
or because the answer's no?

-Is this a trick?
-No, Marla, I need to know--

You mean you want to know
if I think we were just
having sex or making love?

So we did make love.

Is that what
you're calling it?

Just answer the question,
Marla, please!

-Did we do it or not?
-You fuck me, then snub me.

You love me, you hate me.
You show me a sensitive side,

then you turn
into a total asshole.

Is that a pretty
accurate description
of our relationship, Tyler?

[Narrator] We have just
lost cabin pressure.

-What did you just say?
-What is wrong with you?

-What did you
just call me? Say my name.
-Tyler Durden.

Tyler Durden,
you fucking freak.
What's going on?

-I'm coming over.
-No, wait,
Marla, I'm not there--

-[dial tone]
-[exhales]

[Tyler]
You broke your promise.

-Jesus, Tyler.
-You fuckin' talked
to her about me.

Tyler, what the fuck
is going on here?

I ask you for one thing,
one simple thing.

Why do people
think that I'm you?

Answer me!

Sit.

Now answer me.
Why do people think
that I'm you?

I think you know.

-No, I don't.
-Yes, you do.

Why would anyone possibly
confuse you with me?

-[lighter flicks]
-Uh, I... I don't know.

-You got it.
-No.

-Do not fuck with us.
-Say it.

Because...

Say it.

Because
we're the same person.

That's right.

We are the all-singing,
all dancing--

Tyler, I don't
understand this.

You were looking for
a way to change your life.

You could not do this
on your own.

All the ways
you wish you could be,

that's me.

I look like you wanna look.
I fuck like you wanna fuck.

I am smart, capable,
and most importantly,

-I'm free in all the ways
that you are not.
-Oh, no.

-Tyler's not here.
Tyler went away. Tyler's gone.
-What?

This is impossible.

-No.
-This is crazy.

People do it every day.
They talk to themselves.

They see themselves
as they'd like to be.

They don't have
the courage you have
to just run with it.

[grunting]

Naturally, you're
still wrestling with it,
so sometimes you're still you.

-We should do this
again sometime.
-[bottle shatters]

Other times, you imagine
yourself watching me.

If this is your
first night at Fight Club,
you have to fight.

Little by little,
you're just letting
yourself become...

Tyler Durden.

You are not your job
or how much money
you have in the bank!

-No, you have a house.
-Rented in your name.

You have jobs.
You have a whole life.

You have night jobs
because you can't sleep.

-Or you stay up and make soap.
-Marla... You're
fucking Marla, Tyler.

Uh, technically,
you're fucking Marla.
But it's all the same to her.

[gasping]

Oh, my God.

Now you see our dilemma.

She knows too much.

I think we're gonna
have to talk about

how this might
compromise our goals.

Wh... What are you saying?

This is... This is bullshit.
This is bullshit.
I'm not listening to this.

-You are insane.
-No, you're insane.

And we simply do not
have time for this crap.

[Narrator] It's called
a changeover.

The movie goes on,
and nobody in the audience
has any idea.

[line beeping]

-Sir! Are you checking out?
-Yeah, uh, b-bill me.

I need you
to initial this list
of phone calls, please.

-When were these made?
-It says right there, sir.

Between 2:00 and 3:30
this morning.

No, I w--

Have I been going to bed
earlier every night?

Have I been sleeping later?

Have I been Tyler
longer and longer?

Is anybody here?

Deja vu all over again.

Yeah, with enough soap,
we could blow up
just about anything.

Oh, my God.

[line ringing]

-[man on phone] 1888.
-I'm sorry. Who am I calling?

1888 Franklin.
This is maintenance.
Hello?

-Hello?
-1888 Franklin Street?

Yes. Can I help you?

-Hello?
-Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, I need to talk
to your supervisor
right away.

-Speaking.
-Okay, listen to me.

I think something
really terrible is about
to happen at your building.

-You have got--
-It's under control, sir.

-Excuse me?
-Don't worry about us, sir.
We're solid.

[man on phone] 2160.

Marla! Marla!
Hey! Fuck! Wait!

Marla! Wait.
I gotta talk to you!
Marla! Marla!

Your whacked-out
bald freaks hit me
with a fucking broom!

-They almost broke my arm!
-I tried to warn you--

They were burning their
fingertips with lye.
The stink was unbelievable.

Look... Look, listen.
It's gonna take a tremendous
act of faith on your part,

but you've
got to hear me out.

Oh, here comes
an avalanche of bullshit.

A little more faith
than that.

No, listen,
I don't want to hear
anything you have to say.

You have every right
to be...

Um, I'll just have
a coffee, thanks.

Sir, anything you order
is free of charge, sir.

Why is it free of charge?

-Don't... Don't ask.
-Whatever.

Uh, I'll have
the clam chowder,

the fried chicken with the
baked potato with everything,

and a chocolate chiffon pie.

Clean food, please.

In that case, sir,
may I advise against the lady
eating the clam chowder?

No clam chowder,
thank you.

[Marla clears throat]
You got about 30 seconds.

Marla, I know that I've been
acting very, very strange.

Okay? I know that it's got
to seem like there's two sides
to me when you're with me.

-Two sides? You're Dr. Jekyll
and Mr. Jackass.
-I deserve that, but--

I've come
to realize something
very, very important.

What?

The full extent of our
relationship wasn't really
clear to me up until now,

for reasons
I'm not gonna go into,
but the important thing is,

-I know that I haven't
been treating you so nice.
-Yeah, whatever.

No, no... 15 seconds.
15 seconds, please.
Please.

Fifteen seconds.
Don't open your mouth
or move.

I'm trying to tell you
that I'm sorry.

Because what I've
come to realize is that
I really like you, Marla.

-You do?
-I really do.

I care about you,

and I don't want
anything bad to happen
to you because of me.

Marla,
your life is in danger.

-What?
-You need to leave
town for a while.

Get out of any major city
and just go camping
or something.

-You're an insane person.
-No, no.

I've involved you
in something terrible
that's about to happen.

No.

-Shut up. Shut up!
-You're not safe.

Listen. I tried, Tyler.

-I really tried.
-I know you did.

There are things
about you I like.

You're smart. You're funny.
You're spectacular in bed.

But... you're intolerable.

You have very serious
emotional problems.

Deep-seated problems for
which you should seek
professional help.

-I know, and I'm sorry.
-Yeah, you're sorry,
I'm sorry, everyone's sorry.

But... I can't
do this anymore.

I can't. And I won't.

I'm gone.

You can't leave, Marla.
You're not safe!

-Marla, wait!
You don't understand.
-No! Leave me alone!

-Marla, I am trying
to protect you.
-Just go away! Let go of me!

-I don't ever want
to see you again!
-That's fine.

If that's what it takes...
Here, wait. Wait right here.

[brakes squealing]

-[honking]
-Hold it right there.
Shut up! Shut up!

Here. Take this money
and get on this bus.

I promise you I will
never bother you again
if that's what you want.

-[honking]
-Shut up!

Please get on the bus.
Please get on the bus!

-Why are you doing this?
-Because they think you're
some kind of a threat.

-[horns honking]
-I... I can't explain it
right now. Just trust me.

If I see where you're going,
you will not be safe.

I'm not paying this back.
I consider it asshole tax.

That's fine. Remember, stay
out of major cities for at
least a couple of days, okay?

Tyler?

You're the worst thing
that ever happened to me.

-[honking]
-[man shouting]

Hello. I need you
to arrest me.

I am the leader of
a terrorist organization

responsible for numerous acts
of vandalism and assault
all over this city.

[real Tyler] ...in the
metropolitan area,

with probably
a couple hundred members.

Chapters have
sprung up in five or six
other major cities already.

This is a tightly
regimented organization,

with many cells
capable of operating

completely independent
of central leadership.

Look. Go to the house, okay?
1537 Paper Street.

That's our headquarters.

In the back,
buried in the garden,

you'll find the body
of Robert Paulson.

In the basement,

you're gonna find some
bathtubs that have been
used very recently

to make large quantities
of nitroglycerin.

I believe the plan is
to blow up
the headquarters

of these credit card companies
and the T.R.W. building.

Why these buildings?
Why credit card companies?

If you erase the debt record,
then we all go back to zero.

It'll create total chaos.

Keep him talking.
I need to make
a phone call.

[door opens, closes]

I really admire
what you're doing.

What?

You're a brave man
to order this.

You're a genius, sir.

You said if anyone ever
interferes with
Project Mayhem,

even you,
we gotta get his balls.

-It's useless to fight.
-This is really a powerful
gesture, Mr. Durden.

-It'll set quite an example.
-You're making a big mistake,
fellas.

-You said you'd say that.
-I'm not Tyler Durden!

You told us
you'd say that, too.

All right,
I am Tyler Durden.
Listen to me.

I'm giving you a direct order.
We are aborting this mission
right now.

You said you would
definitely say that.

[muffled]
Let me go! [muffled]

Are you fucking
out of your minds?
You're police officers!

-Somebody timing this?
-No!

-No! No--
-[knocking]

Keep your mouth shut!

-[knocking continues]
-Shit.

Yeah?

-Hey, you know, some of
this information checks out.
-Uh-huh.

-Let's go over to that house
on Paper Street.
-Be right there.

-Okay.
-Hey, wait!

-You got him?
-I got him.

-Sir, we have to do this.
-Come on, Mr. Durden.
Stop fighting.

-You're gonna fuck up--
-Where's the rubber band?

Get away from me!
Drop that fucking knife!
Drop it!

Back up.

Face down on the floor,
both of you right now!

Get down on the floor!

First person comes out
this fucking door gets a...

gets a lead salad,
you understand?

[elevator bell dings]

[horns honking]

Get away! Get away!

[honking]

-[real Tyler] I ran.
-[panting]

I ran until my muscles burned
and my veins pumped
battery acid.

Then I ran some more.

[siren wailing]

[Tyler] What the fuck
are you doing?

Running around in your
underpants. Man, you look
like a crazy person.

No, I'm on to you.
I know what's
going on here.

Well, come on, then.
I got us a great place
to watch from.

[grunting]
It'll be like pay-per-view.

[laughing]

-[beeping]
-Oh, Christ.

-Now what are you doing?
-I'm stopping this.

Why? Greatest thing
you've ever done, man.

No, I can't
let this happen.

You know there are 10 other
bombs in 10 other buildings.

God damn it, since when is
Project Mayhem about murder?

The buildings are empty.
Security and maintenance,
all our people.

We're not killing anyone, man.
We're setting 'em free.

Bob is dead.
They shot him in the head.

You wanna make an omelet,
you gotta break some eggs.

No, I'm not listening to you.
You're not even there.

[muttering]

Okay... [muttering]

[beeping continues]

Wouldn't do that.
Not unless I knew
which wires were what.

If you know, then I know.

Or maybe I knew you'd know,

so I spent
the whole day thinking
about the wrong ones.

[beeping continues]

[shudders]

You think?

Oh, heavens no.
Not the green one.

-Pull any one
but the green one.
-[beeping continues]

[beeping stops]

I asked you not to do that!

-[grunts]
-Fuck!

Tyler, get away from the van.

Tyler, I'm not kidding!
Get away from the van!

God damn it!

Whoa! Whoa!

Okay, you are now firing a gun
at your imaginary friend

near 400 gallons
of nitroglycerin!

Come on... Tyler! Tyler!

[shouts]

Aw, come on. Don't go.

-Tyler! Tyler!
-[grunting, screaming]

[grunts]

Oh, God!

Come here!

What?

[mutters]

[screaming]

-[karate yell]
-[screams]

[grunting]

[neck cracks]

[Tyler] Three minutes.
This is it.

The beginning.

Ground zero.

[real Tyler] I think this is
about where we came in.

Would you like
to say a few words
to mark the occasion?

-[muffled]
-I'm sorry?

I still can't think
of anything.

Ah, flashback humor.

It's getting exciting now.

Two and a half.

Think of everything
we've accomplished, man.

Out these windows,
we will view the collapse
of financial history.

One step closer to
economic equilibrium.

[siren wailing]

[indistinct shouting]

Why is she here?

Tying up loose ends.

[Marla] Put me down,
you bald-headed fucks!

-I'm begging you,
please don't do this.
-I'm not doing this.

We are doing this.
This is what we want.

No, I don't want this.

Right, except "you"
is meaningless now.

-We have to forget about you.
-Jesus.

You're a voice in my head.

-You're a voice in mine.
-You're a fucking
hallucination.

-Why can't I get rid of you?
-You need me.

-No, I don't.
I really don't anymore.
-Hey, you created me.

I didn't create
some loser alter ego
to make myself feel better.

-Take some responsibility.
-I do.

I am responsible
for all of it,
and I accept that.

So, please,
I'm begging you...

Please call this off.

-Have I ever let us down?
-[thunder rumbling]

How far have you come
because of me?

I will bring us through this.

As always, I will carry you,
kicking and screaming,

and in the end,
you will thank me.

Tyler...

Tyler,
I'm grateful to you

for everything
that you've done for me.

-But this is too much.
I don't want this.
-What do you want?

Want to go back
to the shit job,
fucking condo world,

watching sitcoms?

Fuck you. I won't do it.

Oh, my God.
This can't be happening.

It's already done,
so shut up.

Sixty seconds.
Can you see all right?

No.

I can figure this out.

I can figure this out.
This isn't even real.

You're not real.
That gun is--

That gun isn't
even in your hand.

That gun's in my hand.

Hey, good for you.
Doesn't change a thing.

Why do you want to put
a gun to your head?

Not my head, Tyler.

Our head.

Interesting.

Where are you going
with this, Ikea boy?

Hey, it's you and me.

Friends.

Tyler...

I want you to really
listen to me.

Okay.

My eyes are open.

[choking]

[inhales]

What's that smell?

[sirens wailing]

[clattering]

[elevator bell dings]

[chattering, laughing]

-Where is everybody?
-I don't know.
What's goin' on?

Mr. Durden!

Oh, my God.

Sir?

-[choking]
-Are you, uh...

Are you all right, sir?

[raspy voice]
Oh, yeah, I'm okay.

-You look terrible, sir.
-What happened?

Oh, nothing.
It's no problem.

Oh, no, no, sir.
He's not kidding.

You look really awful.
You need medical assistance.

-I'm fine.
-[groans]

-[Marla shouting]
-Look, I'm fine.
Everything's fine.

-[man] Come on.
-[Marla continues shouting]

Ow! [shouts, indistinct]

-Let... Let her go.
-Christ Almighty!

You!

Hi, Marla.

Leave her with me
and get your stuff.
I'll meet you downstairs.

-Are you sure?
-Yes, I'm sure.

You fucker!

What kind of sick
fucking game are you
playing now,

putting me on a fucking bu...
Oh, my God, your face!

Yeah, I know.

What happened?

-[gasps]
-Don't ask.

-You're shot.
-Yes, I'm shot.

Oh, my God.

-I can't believe
he's standing.
-One tough motherfucker.

Who did this?

I did, actually.

Find some gauze.

You shot yourself?

Yes, but it's okay.
Marla, look at me.

I'm really okay.

Trust me.

Everything's gonna be fine.

[Marla gasps]

[♪ rock song playing,
Pixies "Where Is My Mind?"]

You met me at a very
strange time in my life.

♪ With your feet on the air ♪

♪ And your head
on the ground ♪

♪ Try this trick and spin it ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Your head'll collapse
if there's nothing in it ♪

♪ And you'll ask yourself ♪

♪ Where is my mind? ♪

♪ Where is my mind? ♪

♪ Where is my mind? ♪

♪ Way out in the water ♪

♪ See it swimming ♪

♪ I was swimming
in the Caribbean ♪

♪ Animals were hiding
behind the rock ♪

♪ Except for little fish when
they told me east is west ♪

♪ Trying to talk to me
coy koi ♪

♪ Where is my mind? ♪

♪ Where is my mind? ♪

♪ Where is my mind? ♪

♪ Way out in the water ♪

♪ See it swimming ♪

♪ With your feet on the air
and your head on the ground ♪

♪ Try this trick and spin it
Yeah ♪

♪ Your head'll collapse
if there's nothing in it ♪

♪ And you'll ask yourself ♪

♪ Where is my mind? ♪

♪ Where is my mind? ♪

♪ Where is my mind? ♪

♪ Way out in the water ♪

♪ See it swimming ♪

[♪ vocalizing]

♪ With your feet on the air
and your head on the ground ♪

♪ Try this trick and spin it ♪

[♪ vocalizing]

[♪ music fades]