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NARRATOR: Previously,
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00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:04,000
on The Increasingly Poor Decisions
Of Todd Margaret...
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Todd Margaret, he's a temp.
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00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:07,600
He has no experience
in a national market...
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00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:10,360
Bullshit. He's perfect.
Two weeks ago, I made the mistake
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of sleeping with you. That mistake
doesn't make me your girlfriend.
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What the fuck are you doing here?!
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00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,520
Actually,
I'm here to ask you a few questions.
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You're fired! Still! Again!
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This is your boss?
This is the chick you wanna bang?
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Hello, I'm Hudson. I'm from Canada.
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He's down for the weekend.
He's staying here.
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00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,720
You grew up in Leeds?
My dad lives in Leeds.
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Lived in Leeds. He's dead.
My dad lived in Leeds.
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Fuck. Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
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Snooker. Snooker. Snooker!
Not snicker. Not snacker.
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You sold all the Thunder Muscle?
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00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,360
Yeah, the Turkish people
from the newsagents,
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they came in
to buy all we had in stock.
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You are my best friend. Cash.
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I'm fairly confident
this is a forgery.
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W-what?
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The charges include
antisocial behaviour,
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disruption of national solemnity,
money laundering,
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lewd sexist behaviour, failure
to pay for a cranberry juice.
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JEERING
Order! Silence in court!
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PHONE RINGS
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Hello, Mr Wilts.
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I want my money, fuckstick!
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Yes, sir.
I'm not gonna take no for an answer.
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I said yes.
Right.
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You listen up, douchenozzle,
you better get it right this time.
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I want that money or I'm gonna
fuck you like Mike Tyson on E!
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00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:57,640
Yeah, OK, uh, I'll meet you
at your hotel as soon as I can.
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'No, fuck this place.
A bunch of stuck-up, frigid bitches.
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00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,240
'Meet me at that bar
down on the corner.'
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00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:07,560
Todd, tell me that you nailed that
cafe va-jay-jay last night, buddy.
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Oh, boy, did I.
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00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:11,440
I didn't, no.
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Ah, come on, stud!
'Nah, it ain't gonna happen.'
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I'm clearly not her type.
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She goes for something, uh, a bit
more exotic, if you catch my drift.
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Listen, man,
if you wanna plug that weeping hole,
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here's what you gotta do.
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Whatever her type is, be her type.
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Yeah? Yeah, dude.
You just gotta look the part.
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All right, yeah. Look the part.
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00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,320
Hello? Mr Wilts?
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Ow! Ow! Jesus!
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00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:51,920
Hello, Dave, it's Todd Margaret,
your ex-boss.
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Um, just wanted to let you know that
I'm going to be calling the cops
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and having you arrested.
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I don't know how dumb you think
I am, but, uh, the fact that I feel
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compelled to leave a telephone
warning, I think, speaks volumes.
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Goodbye.
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RECORDING: 'Number one,
I want my money
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'or I will fuck you
like Mike Tyson on E!'
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00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,960
'Number two...'
I can't do this.
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00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,960
'..give me my money
or I will rip off your arm...'
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00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:24,280
What am I doing? What am I doing?!
'..and stuff it down your cockhole.'
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00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,520
Hi, Miss Plimpton.
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00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:29,120
Brent Wilts calling you
from the marketing department
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00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,760
over here at Dynamic Integrated
Business Solutions.
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00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,760
Do you mind taking a brief survey?
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00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,840
We'll send you a ten dollar coupon
good for nasal spray.
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00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,560
Would you describe your toilet
in the following way?
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A, luxurious.
B, functional yet savvy.
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C, Orwellian.
D... Hello?
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Hello? Miss Plimpton?
Oh, cheese at Christmas.
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Come on, Wilts, this is pathetic!
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You couldn't sell crack
to a crackwhore!
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No, I know, I fudged that up.
I'll say you fudged that up.
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You fuckin' fudged that up
real good.
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You better start showing me
something by the end of today
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or I'm gonna reach down your throat,
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I'm gonna grab your balls,
and I'm gonna pull with vigour!
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I'm gonna take your balls
and throw 'em out the window.
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00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:09,720
Then I'm gonna leave this office,
get in my car, find the ball pile,
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and I'm gonna run over it
back and forth.
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00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:14,560
And I'm gonna get outta my car,
I'm gonna hover over the ball pile
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00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,760
that's now been flattened.
I'm gonna defecate on it.
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00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:19,360
Miss Turgid, there's a Mr Moundford
on line one for you.
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I've gotta take a phone call.
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00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,680
Why don't you get back
to not selling things? OK?
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Yes.
OK?
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Turning it around.
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Hey, dickbreath.
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As you know, the Falcons did not
cover the spread. Payment, please.
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00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,640
This is Turgid.
Double or nothin', right?
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00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,400
Come on, what do you say?
Let's do it.
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Brent Wilts? He's a temp.
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He has no skills internationally.
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Bet, right? What do you say?
Bet, man.
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00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:17,000
HE GASPS
Bon jour, monsieur naked.
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00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:20,040
What was you doing last night
sneaking in in your wet underpants?
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Pam...
I got a good look at that there,
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and Pam like-y what she see-ey.
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00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,520
What are you doing in my bath?
How long have you been here?
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Calm down! I told you I couldn't
use mine. There's a spider in it.
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Is that my toothbrush?
I thought it was a bit small.
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Ain't you got no loofa?
Pam, you gotta go, OK?
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I've gotta go,
which means you gotta go,
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all right? And now
I gotta get a new toothbrush.
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Thanks a lot.
Might need a new razor as well.
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Why?
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Ugh.
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Got it. Oh, sorry.
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00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,920
Ooh!
Harry. Harry. Come here.
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00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,200
Sorry, sorry. Oh, God!
That's OK. Simple mistake.
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He'll be all right. Won't you?
Thanks.
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Oh, got it.
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00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,760
Oh!
What the hell!
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No! Wait, that was a mistake, too!
That was a mistake! I'm from Leeds!
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Excuse me.
What's going on? Are we at war?
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No. This is Remembrance Sunday,
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the day when we remember
our fallen soldiers.
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Oh, Memorial Day.
No, Remembrance Sunday.
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Thank you very much.
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What are these?
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00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,640
They're just symbolic,
just a way to show respect.
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You know what,
I'd like to show some respect.
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Put this in here.
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I'll only take £5 back.
You can keep the change.
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00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:20,640
Why thank you, sir.
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Um, this isn't for charity, is it?
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Yes, all the money goes to help
injured soldiers, war heroes.
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00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:43,240
I'll tell ya what. 30, 60, £90.
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God bless you, sir.
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00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:50,600
And I'll just take a little bit back
for old time's sake, huh?
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00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:54,280
Just get rid of the fives.
OK, great. You enjoy.
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00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:59,560
Now it's time to look the part.
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00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,560
What the...
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00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,280
Why...?
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00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,360
Oh, hey, Alice.
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00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,800
I was just on my way to play hockey
in honour of remembering day.
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Do you have any maple syrup?
No.
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No? Oh, shoot. Uh, mousse?
Any mousse?
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00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,800
No, Todd, I have no mousse.
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00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:23,000
I really wanted
some maple-covered mousse.
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00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:25,680
All right, well,
I'll be "oot and aboot".
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# Oh, Canada
To me you are the best... #
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Was that Todd?
Yeah.
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Is he making fun of me
cos I'm a Canadian?
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I don't know.
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00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:46,680
Is he... all right?
Yeah, no, he's just...
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He's harmless. You know.
Hey, I've got an idea.
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Why don't I invite
some friends over tonight?
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You could screen your movie. I could
maybe digitise some appetisers.
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That would be very nice.
OK.
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00:08:57,520 --> 00:09:00,680
But not Todd, right?
Oh, God, no! No.
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TV: 'Oh, that is a lot of sperm,
but it's all for a good cause.'
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Uh, cranberry juice.
153
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,600
'And finally,
you think your flat stinks.
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00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:19,320
'Well, here's a story
from Portland, Oregon in America.
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'112 people
found themselves homeless
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'when their entire building
was condemned after one tenant
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'left over 30 cans of tuna open
in 30-degree heat for over six days.
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00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,560
'Now apparently
this attracted various animals
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00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,560
'which then attacked
and killed each other.'
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00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,520
'Really? That's amazing.'
'Yeah.
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'Apparently the smell
was visible from outer space.
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'Police are looking for this man,
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'the tenant responsible,
for questioning.'
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00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:45,680
'Well, he's certainly caused
quite a stink.'
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CHUCKLING
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'And now we return to our coverage
of the Remembrance Sunday ceremony.'
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00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:54,040
There you go, mate.
That's £1.20, please.
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00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:56,480
I can't go home.
Um, is everything OK?
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00:09:56,520 --> 00:10:00,320
I... Oh, my Fanny.
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00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:01,880
What?
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00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:05,000
My building's been condemned. The
police found Fanny rotting in it.
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00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,040
Can you turn this from the news?
Put it on anything else, please.
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00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,320
Oh, well, this is gonna be
on every channel, I'm afraid.
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00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,480
It's the Remembrance Sunday
ceremony. It's live, so...
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00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,520
This is live on every channel?
Yeah.
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00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:20,600
Huh.
WILTS: Hey, nutbreath.
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00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:25,080
Hey there, Mr Wilts.
What the fuck are you wearing?
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00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:28,240
Oh, I took your advice
about being Alice's type.
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00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,960
This has happened to me before.
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00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,280
The girl I was seeing in Portland
had a thing for Texans.
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00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:33,960
Why the fuck did I ask?
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00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,000
What the hell is going on
on your face?
183
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:41,240
Oh, um, I was in the park and there
was this little boy and, uh,
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00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:45,400
oh, man, I saw his balls
comin' at me, and, uh,
185
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:48,240
it has been a long time,
and I don't have the best control,
186
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:51,120
and I ended up just splatting him
right in the face,
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00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:53,080
and his dad
didn't take too kindly to that.
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00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,560
Been there, done that.
No judgment here.
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00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,040
Do you have my wallet?
190
00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,840
Yes, you got that Thunder Muscle
money for me?
191
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:01,840
Not exactly.
Are you fucking kidding me?
192
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,040
I will rip your fucking arms off
and shove 'em up your cockhole,
193
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,400
you stupid fuck!
194
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,880
Oh, no! Oh, no! I've got the money.
I've got the money right here.
195
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:14,200
I've got £30,000 in this briefcase.
196
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,920
All right, close enough.
197
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,920
No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait! No,
you can't... you can't have it yet.
198
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,520
Fuck that. I gotta get back
to my hotel and send this out today,
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00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:25,720
get that fucker off my back.
No, no, you can't.
200
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:29,600
Why not?
Because... it's fake.
201
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,120
How's that?
It's counterfeit.
202
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:33,560
I messed up.
I got ripped off.
203
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:41,480
You stupid motherfucker!
204
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,760
You worthless piece of shit!
205
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:46,840
Pack your shit up and go back
to Portland right now.
206
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,520
You are so fucking fired.
No, no, no! I can't!
207
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:51,120
I can't go home!
You give me a briefcase
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00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,400
full of counterfeit money,
you expect to keep your job?
209
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,200
Oh, no! No, sir! I'm sorry.
You thought the money is fake.
210
00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:59,280
I meant the briefcase is fake.
Yeah, the briefcase.
211
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,640
I'm so sorry.
It's fake leather.
212
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:04,440
It's, uh, uh, leatherine, a
counterfeit, leather-like substance.
213
00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:07,000
The fucking briefcase!
Yes, I'm so sorry.
214
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,760
Todd, I don't give a shit
about that!
215
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,280
Oh, OK! I didn't know.
I thought maybe...
216
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:12,840
LAUGHS
217
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:15,640
So you're telling me that
there's £30,000 in here, right?
218
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:18,480
You know,
minus a handful of £30 notes.
219
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:22,080
That is so fucking great.
Now, wait, wait, wait, Frank.
220
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:25,320
This whole briefcase scenario
has got me thinking.
221
00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:28,360
Um, we should really have
a lawyer on retainer.
222
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:31,520
Great. Yeah. Great idea.
OK. Uh, yesterday I was googling
223
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:33,920
Young And Not legal
and they look quite attractive.
224
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,440
Well, you oughta try
"tight, willing, and fresh".
225
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,480
Where are they based out of?
I dunno, Bangkok.
226
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:39,600
Listen, it's crunch time.
227
00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,440
16,000 more crates of
Thunder Muscle are being unloaded
228
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:45,120
right now.
I know, OK!
229
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:48,240
OK.
Sorry. I...
230
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,400
am very excited about it.
231
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,680
I was trying to say you're doing
a good job up till now, Margaret.
232
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:57,840
But you need to step it up now.
What else you got?
233
00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:01,040
I think I figured out
a way to get the word out
234
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:04,320
about Thunder Muscle
to all of Britain for free.
235
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,000
How's that?
236
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,600
Uh, yes, is this
the Human Resources Department
237
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,240
at Dynamic Integrated
Business Solutions?
238
00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:17,280
I'd like to lodge a formal complaint
against Brent Wilts.
239
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:21,320
Wilts, W-I...
No, not the telemarketer.
240
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,800
He's the President
of Global National.
241
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:27,400
The company that owns Dynamic
Solutions . W-I-L-T...
242
00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,000
..S. And, um...
243
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:34,800
Wait, are you telling me
that Brent Wilts
244
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,120
is not the President
of Global National?
245
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,480
Global National. Look it...
Look it up. Keep looking!
246
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:45,200
Excuse me. Please don't use
that tone of voice with me.
247
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:46,840
You know what, um, what's your name?
248
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,240
I'm gonna add your name
to the complaint list also.
249
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,760
Excuse me, sir.
250
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,880
Excuse me.
Please don't speak to me that way.
251
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:56,160
Kindness would be appreciated
right now, sir.
252
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,440
Excuse me. Please.
That's-that's inappropriate.
253
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:08,840
Great call on the outfits.
It's all about fitting in.
254
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,800
Now we gotta get
some of those tomato pins,
255
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,400
those show double respect.
256
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,960
Yeah, what the fuck
is Remembrance Day?
257
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:18,480
It's just the day that all of us
Englanders get together and...
258
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:22,200
remember how awesome war can be,
and this is our parade.
259
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:25,040
Are there gonna be floats?
Er... Yeah.
260
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,280
Are they gonna have Spider-Man?
261
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:30,080
Uh, yeah,
but the English Spider-Man.
262
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:33,520
A little different. Oh, there's some
tomato pins. Excuse me.
263
00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:36,600
Gonna get some tomato pins.
Sorry, mate!
264
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:42,440
OK, so, yeah, Andre, you can get
changed in there if you want.
265
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,760
She should be here soon.
You know the basic plot, right?
266
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,480
I fuck her on the desk?
267
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,800
Pretty much, yeah.
OK, cool.
268
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:57,840
You know what we should do,
269
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,320
find one of these old fuckers
with a bunch of war medals on
270
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,400
and get him to drink
this shit on camera.
271
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:07,600
Hey, guy, what war did you fight in,
the war on Big Fat? Cos you lost.
272
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,640
Kidding, relax. He's Todd Margaret.
273
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:14,200
Uh, hi, um, I'd like to tell you
about a great new energy drink
274
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:17,320
called Thunder Muscle.
Now's not the time.
275
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:19,840
It's always a good time
for Thunder Muscle.
276
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,760
Oh, piss off!
Fuck this douche.
277
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,240
Let's find a cripple.
278
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:30,040
Oh, this is a frickin' layup.
279
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,640
What are you, a nurse?
Hopefully of the wet variety.
280
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,360
Hey, you look like you could use
a little get up and go,
281
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,520
or-or probably just go.
282
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:45,080
This one I got for mass bravery.
283
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:47,480
And this one I got
for bringing over 1,000 women
284
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,680
to a very satisfying climax.
285
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:51,320
Uh, how about a can
of Thunder Muscle?
286
00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:55,000
Is it free?
Is it free?
287
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,000
Is it free?
What? No.
288
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:59,560
Not this kid.
What, he's a war hero.
289
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,600
He's not a war hero.
It's just some kid with AIDS.
290
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:05,360
I don't have AIDS.
Or cancer. God!
291
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:06,440
Whatever the fuck it is,
292
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,480
I don't want it
associated with Thunder Muscle.
293
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:10,920
Come on, Margaret,
what the hell is it with you?
294
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,720
You haven't impressed me
at all today.
295
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:16,360
I-I-I'm sorry. I'm just...
This is all reminding of my dad.
296
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,120
He used to love Remembrance Day.
297
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:20,720
He looked forward
to marching in it every year.
298
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:26,280
He's kind of like a mascot for them.
299
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,280
SOBBING
300
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,640
WAILING
301
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,840
Sorry about yelling at you before.
302
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,480
Hey, check it out.
It's your dad's old company!
303
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,440
Huh?
Leeds, right?
304
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:43,320
Yeah. Oh, great.
305
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:49,400
Hey! Hey, Uncle Ernie! Uncle Ernie!
306
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:51,800
That's not my real uncle.
It's just a nickname.
307
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,200
You know what you gotta do,
sell 'em some Thunder Muscle.
308
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,680
I don't know if that's really...
What are you talkin' about!
309
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,120
Get the fuck in there!
But I...
310
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,840
Sell 'em the God damn
Thunder Muscle! Come on!
311
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,600
Don't be a pussy, Margaret.
Right.
312
00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:09,040
Hello, gents. Don't worry.
I'm from Leeds meself.
313
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,240
You must be thirsty
with all this marching, huh?
314
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:14,600
Piss off! Well, try this great
new energy drink, Thunder Muscle.
315
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:18,040
Oh, piss off, you American twat.
Well, it's all right. Oh, hey!
316
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:22,400
No need to shove!
317
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,160
THUMPING
318
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,720
MOANING: Yes! Yes! Oh!
Oh, yeah.
319
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,360
Oh, yes! Yes!
320
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,560
And cut! OK, brilliant work, guys.
321
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:38,000
That's another episode of There's
A Negro In My Wife in the can.
322
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,440
Uh, please, help yourself
323
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:41,640
to a complimentary case
of Thunder Muscle.
324
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:44,000
You guys have earned it.
Oh, great job, Svetlana.
325
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:46,320
Can you tell me when this
will be airing?
326
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:47,720
Um... Tonight.
327
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,400
May I come to the edit?
Oh, no.
328
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:54,120
What does SAS stand for,
shitty and mean?
329
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:57,680
Hey, what the hell, Margaret?
We've been here two solid hours.
330
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:58,880
You haven't sold shit!
331
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,960
I think I'm beginning to see
what you're all about.
332
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,960
I got it figured out.
Don't worry, I'm not angry.
333
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:12,000
I'm in the same situation.
I think it's time that we fess up.
334
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:14,760
All right, look, I mean,
you-you can't blame me.
335
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,520
I mean, you know,
I was... I was a temp.
336
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:20,200
We need to get you laid, right?
Little boy, am I right?
337
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:23,520
No! Two little boys?
Two little brown ones?
338
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,720
A little brown and a little yellow
one? Like fuckin' a bag of M&M's.
339
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,440
No, no, no, it's not boys at all.
Oh, girls.
340
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,880
It's that...
It's that Alice chick, right?
341
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,280
All right, here's what we do.
I got a sack of rufies...
342
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:38,320
No, no, Mr Wilts. It's not that.
What the fuck is it, then?
343
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:40,640
Cos all of a sudden
you can't sell shit.
344
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:42,160
I brought you all the way over here.
345
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,920
Do you want me to send you back,
is that it?
346
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,360
No, no, no, sir. No, sir.
Get out there and sell this shit.
347
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,360
OK.
All right?
348
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:49,960
Yup.
Sell it, and I'll have
349
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,320
the goddamn camera on you.
OK.
350
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,240
FEEDBACK SCREECH
351
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,680
Oh, man, that killed.
Don't worry, take five. I got it.
352
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,800
Hey, everybody, check it out.
353
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,120
I wanna introduce you
to a brand-new energy drink
354
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:10,720
that you are gonna love.
355
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,800
It's called Thunder Muscle
and it's totally awesome!
356
00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:15,360
BAND PLAY LOUDER
357
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:19,480
Seriously, I just wanna...
Trying to tell you about a-a...
358
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,520
a great, new energy drink.
Please, if I could just get...
359
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,440
You guys wanna take five, please.
360
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:30,560
Uh, OK. Thunder Muscle, oh,
it's so good and good for you.
361
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:37,040
Please. Just... Can I just get two
goddamn minutes of silence, please!
362
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:40,320
SILENCE
Thank you. OK.
363
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:41,680
BIG BEN TOLLS
364
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,640
Like I was saying,
Thunder Muscle, it tastes great,
365
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:48,160
chock full of energy and vitamins,
and science...
366
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:49,520
Can we lose the bells!
367
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,520
Be quiet! Show some respect!
368
00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,360
Hey, shut the fuck up, Grandpa!
369
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:56,280
Listen to what he's saying!
Jesus Christ!
370
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,680
If you pussies would've had some
Thunder Muscle during the war,
371
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:03,080
we wouldn't have had to come out
and bail your faggot asses out!
372
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:06,560
Am I right? No? Holy shit!
373
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:08,840
SHOUTING
374
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,480
INDISTINCT
375
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:27,040
No, hey!
No, wait, wait, wait, wait!
376
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,400
This is a misunderstanding!
Wait, no, I'm American!
377
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,080
I mean, I grew up in Leeds.
Church Avenue.
378
00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:36,680
But, uh, drink Thunder Muscle!
Brent, Mr Wilts, help! Anyone!
379
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,240
'This morning's Remembrance Sunday
parade was interrupted
380
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:43,000
'by a mentally-ill American
381
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:45,640
'protesting against Britain's
alleged cowardice
382
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:46,680
'in all wars, ever.'
383
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,440
Unbelievable.
LAUGHING
384
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,800
Um... Hudson, I'm just
gonna pop out for a bit.
385
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,280
Oh, don't tell me you're gonna
leave because of this guy.
386
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,280
Well, somebody's gotta help him.
Oh, Alice.
387
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:00,320
We've only got
a couple of hours left.
388
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,560
Sorry, everybody,
enjoy your Vietnamese,
389
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,520
Kefir lime-infused torch beams.
390
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:08,400
And, Rachel, don't-don't eat
the batteries. They're not Kosher.
391
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:11,400
Alice.
TV: 'Drink Thunder Muscle!'
392
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,880
LAUGHTER
393
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,560
THE LAST POST PLAYS
394
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:57,320
Oh, no. Honey!
31829
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