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Previously on
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00:00:01,440 --> 00:00:04,280
The Increasingly Poor Decisions
Of Todd Margaret...
3
00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:07,840
How would you like to go to London
and sell energy drinks to the UK?
4
00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:11,720
I am selling Thunder Muscle.
I've heard of this.
5
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:13,960
I'm goin' on a date!
Who's the lucky prostitute?
6
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,360
No, seriously,
you know Alice from the cafe?
7
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,120
I'm really into molecular
gastronomy. It's my passion.
8
00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,720
You wanna look like
a proper English gentleman.
9
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,280
I'm not really that hungry.
10
00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:26,400
That's all you need,
a liquor licence? Done.
11
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,280
It's the nuts.
I can't eat nuts.
12
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,320
I'll have a reaction.
It's really bad.
13
00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:31,920
Didn't go down well
with Sainsbury's.
14
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:34,400
They had a problem
with me leaving a toxic drink there.
15
00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,160
Well, tell them to get a lawyer!
Tell them to hire ten lawyers!
16
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,840
This is Sainsbury's?
This is a local grocery store?
17
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:41,680
No, there's about a thousand
of them.
18
00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:51,080
The charges include consumer fraud,
19
00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,880
trafficking in child pornography,
20
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:57,840
supplying fraudulent documents,
drug running...
21
00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:01,880
SHOUTING
..destruction of Hindi artefacts.
22
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:05,160
Order!
Silence in court!
23
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:06,480
GAVEL BANGING
24
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:14,000
Very good, gentlemen.
Morning, Dave.
25
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,800
That's all right. That's the bloke
I was telling you about.
26
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,480
LAUGHTER
27
00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,120
See, I was right!
28
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,120
Who were they? Did we make a sale?
29
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:25,840
Oh, no,
they were just from the council.
30
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:29,560
You know, it's a listed building.
DAVE SNIFFS
31
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Jesus, Todd, again!
Shouldn't you be wearing nappies?
32
00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:34,560
Oh, yeah, well, you know,
33
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,400
I asked you to give me the name
of a local, family-run store.
34
00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:39,720
That Sainsbury place is huge.
35
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,400
Sainsbury's is a local,
family-run store.
36
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,120
There's loads of 'em locally.
37
00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:46,000
I assume they can afford
a good lawyer.
38
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:48,000
They are one of
the richest families in England.
39
00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:49,200
Great (!) You know, Dave,
40
00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:51,520
this is gettin' real close
to verbal warning territory.
41
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:55,080
So what'd you tell 'em?
No, you told me to tell 'em...
42
00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:56,920
Hang on, I've got it here somewhere.
43
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,360
Um... Um-um-um.
44
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,840
Oh, "Screw that guy.
Tell him, 'hire a lawyer.' "
45
00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:03,640
I know what I said. "Hire ten
lawyers. I don't give a shit."
46
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,480
You didn't have to take it
literally.
47
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,560
"If you wanna go deep-sea diving
with the big boys,
48
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,160
"you're gonna run into
a giant squid." Yeah, all right.
49
00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:14,000
Do you think they'll sue?
I didn't think they would at first,
50
00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:17,000
but they did seem quite upset
with the squid analogy. Damn it!
51
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,160
Now we have to get a lawyer.
52
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:22,200
You know what, verbal warning.
53
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,840
I did what you told me to do!
Let me finish.
54
00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:28,000
Normally, this would make
two solids, and a half almost,
55
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,360
and then I'd be forced to write
your first written warning,
56
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:34,280
but seeing as, technically, yes,
you did do what I told you to do,
57
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,280
then, let's just call it
your second-and-a-half warning.
58
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:38,680
Oh, thank you so much, chief.
59
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,720
With a solid almost
lurking around the corner,
60
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:42,920
so don't get cocky.
61
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,600
All right, well,
can you recommend any lawyers?
62
00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:48,360
Yeah, yeah, I can.
63
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:50,800
They're meant to be pretty good,
my dad's used them before.
64
00:02:50,840 --> 00:02:52,640
A law firm called
Young And Not.
65
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:54,000
Young And Not. OK, thanks.
66
00:02:56,400 --> 00:03:00,320
"Young And Not legal."
67
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:02,920
There's, like, 25 million hits
on this thing.
68
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,440
Wait, you need a credit card
just to get their info?
69
00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,560
Oh, I don't have time for this.
70
00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,400
Dave, I gotta go get
this liquor licence for Alice.
71
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,120
Take the company credit card
72
00:03:12,160 --> 00:03:14,560
and download everything
those guys got.
73
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:18,720
Wow!
Well, tits sure are big here.
74
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,440
What, you don't like tits
in the States?
75
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,680
Well, no, yeah,
I just mean physically big...
76
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,160
You know.
77
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,440
It must be all the cheese.
78
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:32,200
# Life is short
And the days are long
79
00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:36,320
# Gotta get right back
Where I don't belong
80
00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,840
# Things are gonna get worse... #
81
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:41,800
Is there anything
Beckham won't advertise?
82
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:46,080
Mandarin orange
and essence of lavender ass oil.
83
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:47,920
I like your hat.
84
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,920
Yeah, people buy anything,
as long as some sports hero...
85
00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:54,520
SLOWLY: tells... them... to.
86
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:56,880
Number 49.
Yeah, me!
87
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,760
Hi, uh, my name's Todd Margaret.
88
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,880
I wanted to grab
a liquor licence. All right.
89
00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:06,480
Uh, how much does it cost?
You have to apply first.
90
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,440
Uh, that's what I'm doing. And
what's the nature of your business?
91
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:13,280
Oh, it's not for me. It's a gift.
It's for this little cafe I go to,
92
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:16,720
you know, uh, salads and sandwiches,
things like that,
93
00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:18,960
and I'd just love to be able
to get in there
94
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,640
and, you know, crack a beer.
95
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,960
Is this a wind up?
96
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,720
You mean like a watch? Oh, you're
asking me what time it is.
97
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,320
OK, Mr Margaret,
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
98
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:30,960
Leave?
99
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:35,400
I think, uh, Mr Benjamin might
have something to say about that.
100
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:38,240
Mr Benjamin?
Mr Benjamin Franklin.
101
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,880
The American statesman
who invented bifocals?
102
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,280
I don't know about that,
but I do know he invented
103
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:48,200
a little something I like to call
the hundred dollar bill.
104
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:52,560
Do you understand
what I'm getting at here?
105
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,280
No, I don't. I want you to leave.
106
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,520
Oh, OK, right.
England, England.
107
00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,920
There's di... uh, different money.
OK.
108
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:06,000
Perhaps if Mr Winston Churchill
were to show up?
109
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,640
Nope. Maybe Alfred Hitchcock?
110
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,400
Nope.
111
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,880
William Shakespeare?
Robert Louis Stevenson?
112
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,480
The guy who wrote Winnie The Pooh?
Winnie The Pooh?
113
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,480
No? I don't know who's...
114
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:24,080
Uh, a bull dog? Monty Python?
The Beatles?
115
00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:25,560
An old lady drinking tea?
116
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,600
Uh, what about the Prime Minister,
Bush's friend, uh, tiny Tony Blair?
117
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,480
No? All right, or king, right?
There's a king?
118
00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:34,960
What if King... Kong?
119
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,480
I don't know
who's on your money!
120
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:40,720
Look, I... Fine, really?
You're gonna make me...
121
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,720
All right, what if...
122
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,600
Uh, Mr...
123
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:50,240
Well, who the hell is Adam Smith?
How am I supposed to guess that?
124
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:53,080
Sir, you have ten seconds
to leave my office,
125
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,960
or I'll have you arrested!
We don't accept bribes here!
126
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,560
Well, good,
cos I'm not offering a bribe!
127
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:03,160
Shame on you! Shame, shame!
128
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:09,280
Dave, congratulations!
I'm expanding your job description.
129
00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:12,520
I'm making you head
endorsement deal picker-outer. OK.
130
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:15,280
Now, with that new title
comes new responsibility.
131
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:19,600
I want you to call David Beckham
and make him an offer
132
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,960
'to endorse Thunder Muscle.'
Beckham... um...
133
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,640
Oh, why? What, what?
134
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:26,040
It's just, you know,
Beckham, energy drinks.
135
00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:28,600
You want someone that is
Thunder Muscle, don't you?
136
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,680
OK, I'll tell you what.
Let me call the head office,
137
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,400
find out how much money
I can spend on it...
138
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,560
I'll tell you what, chief.
You leave this one up to me,
139
00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:37,520
and I will get you your man.
Oh, great... thanks, Dave.
140
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,120
And, Todd, you might wanna go out
141
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:40,880
and get yourself
a new pair of jeans, mate.
142
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,200
Yeah, good idea. All right.
Hey, Todd Margaret.
143
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,880
I dropped off that Thunder Muscle
for you yesterday.
144
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:49,600
You guys
were pretty excited about it.
145
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,720
Oh, hi... Hey.
Todd Margaret?
146
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:54,520
Ahmed, good to see you.
Hi.
147
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,480
I'd like to talk to you about that.
Would you like some chai? Mehtap.
148
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,960
Oh, hey, where'd you get
that liquor licence from?
149
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,560
The liquor licence?
150
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,520
Yeah, I need to get one
for a friend of mine.
151
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,360
Here, my friend, take it.
152
00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:16,360
Really? Yes, my friend,
of course, of course.
153
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:19,360
You can change the name right here.
You can write over it and initial.
154
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,120
You know what,
I will Tipp-Ex that for you.
155
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,960
Wow! Thank you very much.
156
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,320
Mr Margaret,
may I ask something in return?
157
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:29,720
Yeah, sure. Whatever.
I would like to see your passport.
158
00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:31,640
My passport?
159
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,640
Yes, I would like
to look at it for a bit.
160
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,160
I don't understand.
Excuse me. Sorry, sorry.
161
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:38,960
Um, I am writing a book
about American passports.
162
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,040
You know,
something to read on the loo.
163
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,840
It will be fun to look at,
this book.
164
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,720
Yeah, OK. Sure.
165
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,360
Uh, you know,
I wanna contribute to the arts.
166
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:51,040
Thank you. Thank you.
Uh, very good. Very good.
167
00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:54,560
Typical passport.
Perfect, perfect.
168
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,480
Oh, what is the name
for the licence?
169
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,960
Oh, Alice Bell, Gracelands Cafe.
170
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,840
OK, Alice Bell, coming up.
171
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,080
You have my passport.
OK, here's the tea.
172
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,200
Here's the tea.
Where's he going with my passport?
173
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:09,080
Oh, it was dirty.
He will clean it for you.
174
00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:12,320
It is tradition.
175
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,400
Oh, that's nice.
Tea.
176
00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,320
Oh, thank you.
177
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,200
That's good.
OK, here.
178
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,680
Wow, great. Thank you so much.
179
00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,400
Pleasure.
180
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:27,920
Well, I have your number,
so I can call.
181
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:30,600
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, no. That'd be great.
182
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:33,280
If it's OK with your dad.
He's not my dad.
183
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:35,440
Oh. Oh, wait, are you...?
No.
184
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,320
Are you...?
Yeah.
185
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,800
Bye.
186
00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:52,920
Afternoon, Alice.
Hi. What are you wearing?
187
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,280
What?
It's an "I love England" t-shirt.
188
00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,160
No, it's a...
Let me guess. Dave.
189
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,280
Yeah, I told him
to go get me some stuff.
190
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:02,480
Anyway, I have, uh,
something I wanna show you.
191
00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:03,680
Yeah, hang on.
192
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,080
I've just gotta throw this
black pudding out. It's too old.
193
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,000
Oh, I'll give you a hand.
Thank you.
194
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,560
All right, come on.
Let's go. Get up.
195
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,960
You're too old to be in here.
Let's go, let's go.
196
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,880
Todd, what are you doing?
What? I'm talking about this.
197
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:18,160
This is black pudding.
I'm getting rid of this.
198
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,760
Oh, God. Oh, yeah! No, sit down.
199
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,520
I was just... We're...
Yeah, go ahead, sit down.
200
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,720
Oh, I am so sorry.
201
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:28,680
I'm not-I'm not racist,
just to be clear.
202
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:30,880
All right, that was...
I'm not-I'm not racist.
203
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,880
Just... No, I love everyone.
I really do.
204
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:35,320
I'm totally tolerant.
Uh, uh, Chinese, Japanese,
205
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:37,840
whatever you are,
wherever you're from, I love it.
206
00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:40,200
I'm from London.
Well, come on. You know what I mean.
207
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,280
Todd, shut up! Please.
Sorry... he-he's American.
208
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:44,800
He-he hasn't been here very long.
209
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:47,440
Just put the jacket on
and cover that. All right.
210
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,160
Anyway, Alice...
211
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:55,360
You know that little
alcohol problem you've been having?
212
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:59,200
I don't have an alcohol problem.
Well, no. You don't now.
213
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:01,880
What's this?
214
00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:05,000
Oh, a little somethin' I like
to call your new liquor licence.
215
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:09,040
Oh, my God, you did it!
I thought you were full of shit!
216
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:10,480
I told you I can get things done.
217
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:13,160
Remember about the giant squid?
Oh, yeah.
218
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:17,640
Todd, I don't know what to say.
Uh, how about, "Thank you, Todd?"
219
00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:20,560
Thank you. Thank you.
220
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,120
Todd!
221
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:39,560
Um, I'd like to cook you dinner,
to say thank you.
222
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,560
A romantic dinner?
Well, a dinner.
223
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,960
But at my flat, not yours.
Yours is disgusting. It's filthy.
224
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,200
I'd rather spend the evening
up a tramp's arsehole...
225
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,880
Oh, hey, that sounds great,
but I got to go.
226
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,080
OK. Well, thank you.
227
00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,880
Thunder Muscle is about energy,
it's about dynamism,
228
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:02,920
it's about vitality, OK?
229
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:06,840
We're not selling a drink,
we're selling a dynamic lifestyle,
230
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:12,600
and we think you'd be the
perfect new face for Thunder Muscle.
231
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,720
What do you say?
How much do I get?
232
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,120
Well, I'm authorised
to go as high as ¤50,000.
233
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,320
I want pounds.
234
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,360
Oh, sure, yeah, yeah.
Dollars, pounds, whatever.
235
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,040
OK, I'm thinking 20,000 up front.
236
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,440
Then, based on how effective
the ads are,
237
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,440
we negotiate bonus points...
what do you say?
238
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,840
You said you'd go up to 50,000.
239
00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,640
Well,
that's as high as I can go,
240
00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:34,640
but let's start with 20,000.
No, I'll take 50,000.
241
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:36,400
Well, OK, uh,
242
00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:40,320
perhaps I made a slight mistake
in telling you how high we can go,
243
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:43,120
but let's start with 25,000,
then, we'll negotiate... 50.
244
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:46,520
OK, Steve, you don't get it.
245
00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:49,000
Uh, all right,
you're twistin' my arm here.
246
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:52,040
Let's say 30,000.
I think you don't get it.
247
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,400
I want £50,000, or I'm out the door.
248
00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,920
OK, 50,000 it is.
Deal.
249
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:01,200
All right. Great.
250
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,720
All right, I wanna
get started on this right away.
251
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,520
Yeah, I can't do Tuesdays.
252
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,880
I take my recycling to the tip
on Tuesdays.
253
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,560
Sure, uh, no Tuesday.
No, no Tuesdays.
254
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:18,200
All right, uh, Steve Davis,
255
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,760
¤50,000...
256
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,480
oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
257
00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,080
No, not dollars,
but English pounds.
258
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,680
When in Rome, eh?
259
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,680
The English way.
260
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,360
OK, there you go.
261
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,400
Excuse me, mate.
Is this your 50p up here?
262
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,080
Yeah, I've gotta go.
263
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,400
OK, lookin' forward to it.
264
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,120
Sweet!
Well, done. That was brilliant!
265
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,840
That was some good
negotiation skills.
266
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:45,240
I love the way that you didn't
let him let you let him
267
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:48,080
take "no" for an answer.
Yeah, yeah.
268
00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:51,640
Um...
269
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:53,600
Who is he again?
Steve Davis.
270
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,360
He's a world champion
snooker player.
271
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:59,680
Ah.
I should call the head office.
272
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,080
Let them know the good news.
273
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:03,880
Oh, I'm sure
they'll be very excited.
274
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:06,400
Oh, I think so, too.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
275
00:13:07,560 --> 00:13:09,720
PHONE RINGING
Oh, I'd better get this.
276
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:12,760
Hello.
277
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,480
Hello, this is Todd Margaret
in the London office.
278
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:18,840
Bollocks!
279
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,120
Hey. Hi.
You found your way?
280
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,520
Yeah.
Well, you look very, uh, adult.
281
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,520
Pretty... like a pretty adult.
282
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:40,960
That's lovely. Thank you.
I brought you flowers!
283
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,200
Oh, no.
284
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:46,200
Oh, I mean, that's sweet,
but it's too much.
285
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:49,400
Todd, it's just a bit of dinner.
Oh...
286
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:55,080
Here, put this on.
I can't look at you in that.
287
00:13:57,760 --> 00:13:59,640
Did you used to be really fat?
288
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:02,760
No, it's my ex-boyfriend's shirt.
Oh.
289
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,640
Hey, Alice, big news.
290
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:07,640
Thunder Muscle
took a huge step today.
291
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,800
Oh, yeah?
We signed Steve Davis
292
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,040
to an exclusive endorsement deal.
293
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:13,680
£50,000.
294
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,680
Who?
Steve Davis.
295
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:18,200
He's an internationally famous
snooker player,
296
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:19,800
bigger than Beckham.
297
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:24,040
Oh, speak of the devil.
Steve Davis is here?
298
00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:28,440
Hi, you must be Todd.
299
00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:31,920
Yeah, hi.
It's a nice shirt.
300
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,000
ALICE GIGGLES
I still wear it in bed.
301
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:36,680
Hello, I'm Hudson.
302
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,160
Ho-how are you?
Good.
303
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,560
Oh, don't mind me.
I just popped down to see Alice.
304
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:47,040
Oh, oh. Yeah, yeah. OK. Cool.
305
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:49,800
Well, uh, ah,
it was nice to meet ya.
306
00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:51,560
See ya later.
We're gonna have dinner.
307
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,920
Oh, no, no.
Hudson's down for the weekend.
308
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,480
He's stayin' here.
Oh, you-you're st...
309
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,320
Oh, uh. Oh, you're stay...
Oh, OK... you're staying here.
310
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:02,520
Yeah, I came down from Leeds.
Of course you did.
311
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,000
Excuse me?
312
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:07,040
No, I can hear your accent,
so I figured.
313
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:10,920
Well, I'm from Canterbury, actually.
I'm just working in Leeds.
314
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,720
I'm directing the new Cribs video.
315
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,320
OK, sit down, you two.
I hope you're both hungry.
316
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:19,360
Alice...
317
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,200
I'm always hungry
for whatever you got.
318
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:23,400
COYLY: Oh, that's nice.
319
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:26,640
Alice, when it comes
to whatever you've got,
320
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,560
I'm always hungry.
321
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,920
OK. Thanks for that, Todd.
322
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:34,720
OK, shall we eat? I'll be mother.
323
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:37,400
There you go.
324
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,680
Tell me if you want seconds
or anything.
325
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,640
Everyone tuck in.
326
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,040
What-what is this?
327
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,400
Oh, it's just a flash-frozen...
328
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:50,200
BOTH: ..de-ionized
oxtail toothpaste.
329
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,720
My favourite.
I know.
330
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:56,920
It-it comes with a Grenache of,
um, devolved pancetta gas.
331
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,360
That's what's in there.
332
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:01,680
Just pop these off and stick
your straw in. Suck it up.
333
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,080
Ham farts?
334
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,240
No, not ham farts...
335
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,040
pancetta gas.
336
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:11,960
Brush appetit.
337
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:14,520
Mmm.
338
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,840
Mmm, mmm.
339
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:18,280
That is...
340
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:24,520
That's good.
341
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:27,880
Are you finished with your plates?
342
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,120
Mm-hm.
343
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,360
Alice, that was really, really good.
Thank you.
344
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,400
You ready for dessert?
Yeah.
345
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,160
OK, I'll just print it out.
346
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:39,840
And I love your place, too.
It's really, uh, you know, cosy.
347
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,960
Yeah, it's one of those places
you just wanna lie in bed all day.
348
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,920
No offense, Todd, but your place
is a total shit hole.
349
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,120
Oh, that place?
Well, that's temporary,
350
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,360
you know, while my, uh,
real place is being renovated.
351
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,040
Oh, well, that makes more sense,
352
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,400
because you're the head
of a big company. Mm-hm.
353
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,960
Where's your new place?
Uh, it's over the bridge.
354
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,640
Oh, whi-which bridge?
355
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,160
You know that one that, um,
goes over the water.
356
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,200
There's-there's a street it's on.
357
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,400
Hey, Hudson, you look like
a bit of a sports meat head.
358
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,480
You're never gonna guess
who I met today.
359
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:13,200
Steve Davis, famous snicker player.
360
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,760
Signed him to an exclusive deal
with Thunder Muscle.
361
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,960
He's bigger than Beckham.
OK. Good for you.
362
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,040
Yep.
Did a little wheelin' and dealin'.
363
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:22,520
Got him down to ¤50,000.
364
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,520
I thought you said £50,000?
Yeah, dollars, pounds, same diff.
365
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,840
Well, no... not at all.
There's quite a difference.
366
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,680
Well, well, how?
367
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,280
Because of the exchange rates.
368
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,680
What... you're saying
it costs money to exchange it?
369
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,600
Then I just won't exchange it.
370
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,320
Yeah, but it doesn't work that way.
371
00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:41,800
Surely you understand
about exchange rates?
372
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,640
Yeah. Oh, right! Exchange rates.
373
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,040
OK. Here we are...
374
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,240
dessert.
Oh. Thanks.
375
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,680
Great... Mmm.
376
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:55,840
A toast.
Yeah.
377
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,840
To a delicious meal.
378
00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,160
And an even more delicious woman.
379
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:03,760
Not that I'd know. I don't.
Is she?
380
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:08,240
You know, don't answer that.
Just, you know, I'm sure she is.
381
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:10,840
Is she?
382
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,760
She is. You are. I'm sure.
383
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,880
Evenin'. After you.
384
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,080
Let's talk, my friend.
385
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:29,680
Yeah, but I thought that Colin
was wonderful in Single Man.
386
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,040
He was wonderful,
but I think it was Tom Ford's,
387
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,480
you know, imagery
that really lifted that film.
388
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,440
Have seen Prophet?
Oh, yeah. It's amazing.
389
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,560
Yeah. I went to see, um,
a Q&A by the director. Right.
390
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,040
The Renoir in Russell Square.
He was amazing.
391
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,320
He actually had
very similar views to you
392
00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:46,480
about the language of few,
you know...
393
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,040
Sorry, Todd,
we were just, um...
394
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:51,240
Hudson's just won a couple
of Genies for his film
395
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,320
A Dusk In The Belly Of God.
396
00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:55,320
Canadian Oscars.
Yeah, tell him about it.
397
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:57,560
It's about two priest brothers
who try to come to terms
398
00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,480
with their mother's death
by building a boat.
399
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:01,760
Is it in 3D?
400
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,880
No.
Not interested.
401
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:06,640
See, no offence, Hudson...
402
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,200
..but to me,
the mark of a true director
403
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,760
is what one doesn't see.
404
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,440
In 3D?
That just doesn't make sense.
405
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:18,040
Well, it's like my dad says...
406
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,080
Oh... I'm sorry.
407
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,560
He recently passed.
408
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,080
SOBBING: Oh, my papa!
409
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:32,160
Todd! What are you doing?!
410
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:33,960
What?
You scared the shit out of me!
411
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,840
Jesus... your nut allergy!
They're chocolate-covered hazelnuts!
412
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,640
You said you were allergic to nuts.
What? Oh, no!
413
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:42,080
WAILING
414
00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:44,560
FORCED GROANING
415
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:48,880
Oh, I'm allergic to nuts, too.
I've got epinephrine in my bag.
416
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,240
OK, well, I'll an ambulance...
I should call an ambulance.
417
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:52,600
No, it's not that bad!
418
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:55,080
It's clearing up! It's clearing up!
I'll get you some water!
419
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,440
No, don't call an ambulance!
No, it's goin' away. Look.
420
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,880
It was a little one.
You nearly gave me a heart attack.
421
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:01,720
Do you wanna lie down?
422
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,080
Ow! Jeez! Ooh!
423
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,680
What is that... God!
What did-did-did...
424
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,160
YELLING AND STAMMERING
425
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,720
What have you d...
YELLING CONTINUES
426
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,800
Do something! It isn't working.
427
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,680
YELLING
428
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,960
It's not working, inject him again!
No-no-no-no.
429
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,280
Stick it in him again!
STAMMERING IN DISAGREEMENT
430
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:32,880
STAMMERING
431
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:45,920
He's gonna be OK.
432
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,280
He's just had a reaction
to the epinephrine.
433
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,280
Nothing out of the ordinary,
just massive erection,
434
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:54,680
shat himself, but he'll be fine.
435
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,680
Thank you, Hudson.
Thank you so much. It's OK.
436
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:01,200
All right, sir, get some rest
and, uh, change your pants.
437
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,120
HE GROANS
438
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,480
What is the exchange rate
in dollars to pounds?
439
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,720
Uh, it's a little more
than one and a half.
440
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,480
So £50,000 would be...
441
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:12,920
About ¤80,000.
442
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,120
HE GROANS
443
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,120
PHONE RINGS
Oh, I'll get it for you.
444
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,360
Brent Wilts.
No, no, no.
445
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,400
Hey, nut breath, how's it goin'?
Good, really good. What's up?
446
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,960
I'm very psyched about
those sales numbers. Impressive.
447
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,360
'Hey, listen, I'm in Lisbon'
448
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,920
at this frickin' boat show
that sucks... No, thanks.
449
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:36,080
'So I'm kinda freed up and
I'm gonna come see you tomorrow.'
450
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:37,240
DIAL TONE
451
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,520
I come for Mr Todd.
452
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,800
Is you Alice?
Yeah.
453
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:45,960
VIOLIN PLAYS
454
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,000
Is this right?
455
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:57,720
You say come at ten.
456
00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,280
You say it will, uh,
"seal the deal."
457
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:02,920
HE GROANS
35197
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