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TODD:
'Previously on The Increasingly...
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'Oh, wait a minute...'
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JUDGE: The charges are as follows:
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Funding a terrorist organisation,
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possession of biological weapons,
blackmail,
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possession of child pornography
with the intent to distribute,
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possession of...
COMMOTION
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Order, order! Silence in court!
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Oh, actually, here's the kitchen.
Every Friday, we have...
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I don't have time to waste,
I got a four o'clock with my waxer.
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I don't really give a shit
where you heat up your noodles.
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If I wanted to see you wear jeans,
I'd go to your shitty house.
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Look, I don't really know
what it is that you do here,
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nor do I give a shit.
OK...
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Point is, Global National
bought this company,
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and they spent a lot of money,
so here's what we're gonna do.
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I was recently in London.
You know what they go
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fucking shithouse for over there?
Madonna?
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Energy drinks.
Can't get enough of it.
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It's like fucking crack
to these people. Really?
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Who gives a shit?
The point is, Global National
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00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,600
took a majority stake
in Thunder Muscle energy drinks,
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and I wanna tap into that UK market.
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00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:03,200
That's actually
not what we do here...
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I'm gonna need one of you
over there, pronto.
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Head this thing up.
Preferably not a woman.
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I want somebody
with some fucking balls.
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Look here, asshole! No, no, no!
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You need me more than I need you!
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Let's get that clear!
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Listen to me,
you silly little prick!
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I make one phone call,
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and I'll have you
sellin' rotten bananas
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in a Kazakhstan bus depot,
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right across the way
from Kazakhstan's
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best fuckin' banana sales...
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I can't do this.
RECORDING: 'Repeat after me,
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'those Kazakhs will tear you
a new pussy and asshole.'
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What am I doing?
'I love this fucking guy.'
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Todd Margaret, he's a temp.
He has no experience...
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Bullshit. He's perfect!
Hey, you wanted to see me?
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Hey, there he is.
Todd, Brent Wilts, Global National.
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Just bought the company. Boy,
do I have a proposition for you.
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Mr Wilts, I... Shut up, fucktard!
How would you like to go to London
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and head up a satellite office
there?
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Sell energy drinks to the UK!
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Here's the deal,
I'll set you up with an office,
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an apartment, a credit card,
all that shit.
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I can start you at 120 grand.
¤120,000?
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Wait a second, Mr...
Why the fuck are you talking?
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120k, that's just to start.
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We can talk about more
based on performance. Yeah.
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Are you familiar with the UK market,
with their culture,
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stuff like that?
Oh, me? Me? Todd Margaret?
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Absolutely. I know it really well.
I mean,
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it's one of those things where,
you know, I probably have, um...
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Actually, my dad is from Leeds,
which is England,
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so I would spend summers there.
That's not true.
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Great. So, maybe your dad
can help us out with the...
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Well, he's dead,
so that won't happen.
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When did he pass away?
Well, a week ago,
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give or take a day.
So, you're gonna bury him...
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Hey, fuckhead, he said it was OK.
Shut your fucking talk hole!
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So, what? You gotta bury the body,
or...
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Well, I mean, we lucked out,
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and he was skydiving over the ocean,
so that took care of it for us.
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Mr Wilts, if I can say...
Hey, asshole,
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I make one call to your boss,
and you're gonna sell shitberries
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in an Uzbek bus station.
Nice, right?
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I learned that one from you, guy.
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Bang it out.
I'm serious. You are fired.
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Get the fuck outta here.
Please don't speak...
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That's unnecessary.
You are fucking fired!
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Get the fuck out... Jesus!
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Todd Margaret, congrats, buddy.
You are on your way to London.
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Wow!
Wait...
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You don't have family,
no wife or kids?
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No pets, girlfriend, shit
like that that I gotta worry about?
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I need total commitment here.
I got nothin'.
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Look, I know this is sudden,
but I got this amazing job offer
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to go to London
and head up this office there.
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But here's the thing,
I gotta leave tomorrow.
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This isn't breaking up, OK?
Oh, Todd.
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Please, let me do this.
Todd...
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Well, it's too good to pass up.
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Todd, two weeks ago, I made
the mistake of sleeping with you.
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That mistake
doesn't make me your girlfriend.
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DOOR BUZZER
Oh, man, come on.
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You gotta go out the window.
My date's here.
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I don't want him to see you.
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There's a tree over there.
Yeah, I know. You can grab it.
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What about my cat?
MUFFLED: Motherfuck!
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THUD
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CAR HORN HONKS
I'll be right down!
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OK, Fanny, listen to me.
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I gotta go,
but I'll be back in about a month.
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Whoa... jeez! I put 30 cans of tuna
in here.
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Here is a month's supply of water.
I made you some steps, all right?
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Now, you be a good girl
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00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,600
and don't eat it all at once,
all right?
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Love you. Bye.
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CAT MEOWS
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SONG: 'Life Is Sweet'
by Johnny Marr
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# Life is short
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# And the days are long
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# Gotta get right back
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# But I don't belong
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# Life is sweet
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# It's a good thing it's gone
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# I know what I mean
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# Without reservation
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# Can't control myself
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# Anticipation... #
Coffee.
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I don't mind doing it.
Really, do you want me to...
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Hey, can I leave this outside?
Is it safe?
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Yeah, I think so.
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Alice, can I have some jam?
Jesus, Mary, more jam?
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More jam.
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Can I get a cup of coffee to go?
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Yeah. I'm just gonna
get this lid off,
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and then I'll get it for you.
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It's really tight, actually. It's...
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tighter than a ladybird's twat.
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Oh, yeah, give it to me. I'll...
I'm a man, and I will open the jar.
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That's great, thanks.
Madam, your jam.
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HE STRAINS
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God!
I'm just gonna open another...
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Here we go...
Heat, the enemy of tightness.
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Oh, God, no. Don't, don't...
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That's dangerous. Don't do that.
Then two taps.
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And now, I think we'll have
an open jar of jam.
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No, don't do that!
Ow!
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You're gonna burn your... Oh! Look!
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HE GROANS
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So, you just gotta remember
to replace the bandage
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and put some of this on.
Ow!
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But not too much,
or you'll start hallucinating.
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What is this?
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Oh, it's just something
I whipped up in the lab.
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00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,840
It's a cardamom-infused
mint arrowroot antiseptic
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and anti-inflammatory,
but there's...
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00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,760
there's notes of South African
vanilla bean in there, so it's...
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it's good. Tastes good on scones.
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00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,560
Wait, wait, I'm sorry, a lab?
I don't understand.
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Yeah, well, I'm really into
molecular gastronomy.
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00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:08,680
It's, um... I suppose you could say
it's my passion.
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It's my raison d'etre.
Oh, I love raisins.
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00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:15,600
You know they're really
just dried-up grapes? True story.
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00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:17,800
No, raison d'etre. It's French.
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It's, like, my reason for living.
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Oh, OK.
Yeah.
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I like to experiment
with all kinds of cuisine.
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00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,880
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. Heston Blumenthal,
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he's like a god to me.
He's so creative.
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He's the best.
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Seriously, if you haven't
eaten in his restaurant,
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I don't even wanna talk to you.
Oh, well, talk away, lady,
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cos I've eaten there plenty.
Have you?
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God, it's so hard
to get a table there.
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Well, you know, I just grab a to-go.
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SHE LAUGHS
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So, what's
your favourite dish of his?
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00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:49,120
Favourite one?
Oh... I love his chicken.
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00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,000
His helium-infused
chicken balloons?
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00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,360
Yeah.
Aren't they...
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I can't even describe them.
They are...
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00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,000
Oh!
Oh! What else?
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00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:00,760
Uh... Lasagne. It's really good.
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00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,480
What... What does he do
with lasagne?
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00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,680
Uh... Huge portions. Genius.
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00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:10,640
All right, Alice. Well,
I should head over to the office,
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00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,760
introduce myself to the team.
All right...
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Yes.
Yeah.
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So, off I go.
Pleased to meet you.
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Pleased to meet you.
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And here is a gentleman's kiss
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for a true princess
of the kitchen...
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00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:25,000
Oh, that's nice of you to say.
..and science.
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00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,720
Thank you for those.
OK, well...
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00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,240
Welcome to England.
Oh, thank you. Thanks for having me.
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00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:38,440
SIRENS
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Hey, hey! What the hell?
Sir, sir, sir, sir, sir,
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00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,360
step back inside, please. OK.
Sir, would you step back inside?
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That's OK...
Step back inside.
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00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,440
What's going on?
186
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,360
It's almost certainly nothing,
but we have found a suspect package,
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00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,400
and we are gonna blow it up.
No, no. Blow it up?
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00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,440
Ready in five. Ready in five.
That's my luggage...
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00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,880
Really pisses me off.
Waste of police time.
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00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,680
Waste of police money.
I mean, for what?
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00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,120
Cos one guy
doesn't use his common sense.
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00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:07,240
Ready, go in four, four, four.
No, no, no, no, no, no...
193
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,200
Sir? Officer, Officer...
194
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:12,520
It's probably just some confused,
but nice, man's luggage.
195
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,080
You know, filled with nothin'
but, you know, clothes
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00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,000
and asthma medicine
and a laptop, you know?
197
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,080
You might wanna
put your fingers in your ears.
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00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,600
Just with all my information...
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00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:22,080
BOOM
Oh!
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00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:29,120
You see that?
201
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:32,480
That's why we're the best.
Best in the world.
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00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:35,120
I'm coming out.
HONKING, CAR ALARMS
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00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:45,320
# Things are gonna get worse... #
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00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,880
HE BREATHES DEEPLY
205
00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,160
Hello, everyone, I'm Todd Margaret.
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00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:10,400
Sorry, I was looking for Dynamic
Integrated Business Solutions.
207
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:13,400
This is Dynamic
Integrated Business Solutions.
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00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:14,960
Oh...
209
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:19,440
What happened to everybody?
Are you it?
210
00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,440
I was sent down here
by the head office...
211
00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:22,800
A guy named Willis?
Brent Wilts?
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00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,960
Bang. That's it.
Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah.
213
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,320
Hello!
214
00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,520
I'm the new boss.
215
00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:31,200
Name's Todd Margaret.
Ah, what's your name?
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00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,760
Dave. What happened to your hand?
217
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,920
Oh. Strawberry jam.
Right.
218
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:39,040
OK, Dave.
Yeah?
219
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:42,720
Yeah. OK. Well, um...
220
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:48,120
I guess I'll
get settled into my office.
221
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,080
Sure. It's just that one,
down there.
222
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:52,760
I'll let you get back
to what you were doin'.
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00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,120
Brilliant.
OK.
224
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,600
Wha...
225
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:06,920
Dave!
Yes?
226
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:09,120
I'm gonna leave the door open,
if you need me.
227
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,440
Got it.
228
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:20,400
Todd Margaret?
Yes, what?
229
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,720
There's a delivery
of Thunder Muscle here for you.
230
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,160
Good.
231
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,240
So, what is Thunder Muscle, anyway?
232
00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:35,200
Well, Dave, I'll tell ya.
233
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,280
Thunder Muscle...
234
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,240
..is an awesome new energy drink.
235
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,080
You people go shithouse for 'em,
huh?
236
00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,280
Oh, not really. What's in it?
237
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:48,920
Well, Thunder Muscle contains,
well, I don't read Korean,
238
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,680
but it's, you know, energy...
and probably guarana berries,
239
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:52,800
things of that nature...
240
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:54,720
How are you planning
to sell all this shit?
241
00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:58,800
No, Dave. How are WE
planning to sell all this shit?
242
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:00,000
I don't wanna tip my hand,
243
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,640
but I'm lookin'
for a new director of strategy.
244
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:05,200
I've been back there.
I've had my eye on you,
245
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:06,760
and I think you might be my man.
246
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,640
Don't really think I'm qualified.
Ba-ba-da-ba-yeah.
247
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:12,640
I didn't get to be top salesman
by being a poor judge of character.
248
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:16,040
Tell me a little bit about yourself.
OK. Ah...
249
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:19,280
Well, name's Dave.
OK, good. Good start.
250
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,840
You're forthcoming with your name.
What else you got?
251
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,360
I'm a real go-getter.
Boom! That's what I'm lookin' for!
252
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:29,720
I think I found
my new director of strategy. Cool.
253
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,600
Now, we have
a lot of Thunder Muscle to sell,
254
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,960
and I know where I would take me
to sell it, but I'm curious.
255
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,960
Where would my new DOS take me?
256
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:42,040
Oh, no, no, no.
I asked for coffee. I'm jet-lagged.
257
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:45,560
Ah, no. Barman said no.
Hey, boss, I've got a question.
258
00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,000
How did you come to land this gig?
259
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,840
You know, I'm sittin' at the office,
mindin' my own.
260
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:53,720
Wilts come in.
He wants the top salesman, right?
261
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:55,520
Somebody to come over here.
262
00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:58,360
Somebody who knows the UK,
you know? And you know the UK?
263
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,400
Yeah. You know, what's to know,
really? That's what you said to him?
264
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:04,840
No, no, no. I told him...
I told him I grew up in Leeds,
265
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:07,800
cos I did grow up in Leeds,
if anybody asks.
266
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,160
Yes.
267
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,640
You grew up in Leeds?
Mm-hm. I didn't grow up, per se.
268
00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:14,720
No, I should clarify that.
269
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,040
My... My dad lives in Leeds.
270
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:19,200
Lived in Leeds. He's dead.
My dad lived in Leeds,
271
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:22,680
and I would
spend my summers with him.
272
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,800
So, what would you get up to?
Excuse me?
273
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,080
What would you get up to in Leeds?
Hm?
274
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:33,520
With your dad?
Well, you know...
275
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:36,000
Every Saturday, you know,
we'd grab some fish and chips...
276
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:37,480
Yeah.
..head to the park,
277
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,360
watch The Who, you know, stuff...
278
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,800
Every Saturday, you'd watch The Who?
279
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,880
Yeah.
Right.
280
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,840
The band The Who.
Yeah, I'm aware of them, yeah.
281
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,120
"Live at Leeds", that's why
they named the album that.
282
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:53,040
Yeah. Listen, this Thunder Muscle
is not gonna sell itself, you know?
283
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,160
Yeah.
We're here to sell Thunder Muscle.
284
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,560
Oh, why don't you try him?
285
00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,600
A challenge! All right.
286
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,640
Hey there, sport. How ya doin'?
287
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:06,280
You look like a man who could
use a little get up and go.
288
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,360
Piss off.
All right.
289
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,720
Hey. Hey.
I've spent some time in Leeds.
290
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,520
I had a girlfriend
that went to uni up there.
291
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:15,240
Oh, great. Yeah, I bet...
292
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,600
I bet a lot's changed
since I was there. No. Probably not.
293
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,560
Well, you never know.
Well, I do know.
294
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,200
So, whereabouts in Leeds
did you live?
295
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,200
It was, you know,
that main street.
296
00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:26,760
No.
The main street, big street,
297
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,120
goes right through town.
What was it called?
298
00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:31,520
Fifth Avenue.
Fifth?
299
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,640
I don't believe
there is a Fifth Avenue.
300
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,200
No, no, no, the street...
301
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:39,240
No. The street's not named
Fifth Avenue, Dave.
302
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:43,720
No, I meant the Fifth Avenue,
counting outwards
303
00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,320
from the main street.
Oh, yes. OK. So, that would be...
304
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,520
Ch-Ch-Church Avenue.
BOTH: Church Avenue!
305
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:51,040
Yes, that was it. Church Avenue.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
306
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,680
Lovely around there.
Yeah, it's nice.
307
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,680
Beautiful church right on it.
Yeah.
308
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:57,720
So, what number did you live on
in Church Avenue?
309
00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:00,000
2150.
Two thousand, one hundred and fifty?
310
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,000
Church Avenue.
That's too long.
311
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,480
We don't really have long avenues
over here.
312
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:09,120
Dave, I'm sorry.
I said 21 and 50. It just, like,
313
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:10,920
ran it together, cos I'm American.
314
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:13,200
So you had two houses?
Yes.
315
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,640
On the same street?
Yeah.
316
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:18,680
My dad was bipolar, so...
317
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:19,920
Hey, you know what?
318
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,440
I think it's time to sell
another can of Thunder Muscle, huh?
319
00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:25,440
Yeah. Well, I mean, it'd be a can.
Right.
320
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:29,040
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
321
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:30,880
My name is Todd,
and today is your lucky day.
322
00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:31,920
Now is not a good time.
323
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,040
Hey, it's always a good time
for a Thunder Muscle.
324
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:36,440
Thunder Muscle's a brand-new,
exciting energy drink
325
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:39,400
that gives you energy, vitality,
and tastes great doin' it.
326
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:42,160
And will it bring back my son?
327
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:45,080
If anything can lure your son back,
it's the great...
328
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,680
OK. No. I... He's not...
329
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,440
..away. He's gone, gone.
330
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,000
He's...
331
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:57,360
..dead? I know. I'm sorry.
332
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,640
I just found out myself.
333
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,880
OK. I'll be over there.
334
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,800
So, Todd, obviously,
having spent so much time in the UK,
335
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:11,440
I'm sure you can tell
where I'm from, from my accent.
336
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,920
Oh, yeah.
So, where am I from?
337
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,320
Oh, you know, probably around...
338
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,880
Hey, there's a Thunder Muscle
couple, huh?
339
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,920
JACKHAMMERING
340
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,800
JACKHAMMER DROWNS SPEECH
341
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:30,760
No, no, no, no, I'm just saying...
342
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,160
THUD
Oh!
343
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,360
Pervert.
344
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,240
If I ever see you again,
I'll rip your balls off!
345
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,320
You all right, Todd?
346
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,360
You shouldn't have
let me go over there, Dave.
347
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,840
They clearly weren't
a Thunder Muscle couple.
348
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:46,040
It's your first verbal warning.
349
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:48,760
I don't understand. They're the ones
who started the name calling.
350
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,320
That's not really
what was happening.
351
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:52,640
As part Brit, you should know
what we call cigarettes.
352
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,480
Oh, look, first voice message.
BEEP
353
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:57,720
Hey, douchebag. It's Brent Wilts.
354
00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:00,320
Listen, shitbucket, I'm gonna be
in Lisbon for a boat show,
355
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,080
and I was thinkin'
of poppin' over there
356
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:03,800
to see how my ace salesman's doing.
Eh?
357
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,960
'I got 16,000 crates of that shit
358
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,400
'comin' to you by freighter
from North Korea.
359
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,840
'And also, see if you can get me
some blow, while I'm there.
360
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,720
'I wanna get stinky drunk
and nuts-deep
361
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:14,600
'in some of that
nasty British pussy.
362
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,400
'You know what? Fuck that. They
got Russian whores there, right?
363
00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:20,200
'Let's do that instead. English
women always give me the shits.'
364
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:22,160
TODD GASPS
365
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,040
He's... wait... Si... 16,000 crates?
366
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:27,320
16,000.
Oh, wait a minute.
367
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:30,400
Come on, I just got here.
I mean, come on.
368
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:33,640
This is insane.
I can't... what if...
369
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:35,640
HE HYPERVENTILATES
I can't...
370
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,760
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
371
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,080
Come on. This isn't
the Todd Margaret I know.
372
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:41,520
Now, let's think about this.
373
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,160
Here, get some Thunder Muscle
down you. You're a bit pissed.
374
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,000
Now, calm down.
Up to the lips. There we go.
375
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:50,600
There it is. Feel better?
HE GLUGS
376
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:53,680
Now, where would a top dog,
ace salesman like yourself
377
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,080
take me to sell this stuff?
378
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:57,960
Um...
379
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:02,240
Hey, Alice.
What happened to you?
380
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,040
Oh, it's nothin'.
You should see the other guy.
381
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,400
It was a lady. She's fine.
382
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,480
Uh, yeah, this is Dave.
He works for me. Hello.
383
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:10,920
Hi.
Alice, I'm wondering,
384
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:15,080
can I make a short, general
announcement about the drinks?
385
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:17,960
Well, normally, I'd say no,
but based on what happened earlier,
386
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,040
yeah, go on, what the hell?
I could do with a laugh.
387
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,120
Nice. Come on, then, Todd.
Show me how it's done.
388
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:28,960
Um, all right. Rule number one:
Make everyone feel at home.
389
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,480
ENGLISH ACCENT:
Hello, hello, hello, everyone.
390
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,600
If I could have a wee minute
of a brief spot
391
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,680
tinkling of your time, please,
392
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:42,800
I'd like to introduce you
to a brand-new energy drink
393
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,680
called Thunder Muscle.
394
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:49,160
Mmm! It's delicious, good for you,
a great new way to get up and go.
395
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:53,960
Mmm! Mm-mm-mm! Mmm!
396
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,480
Mmm! I'll leave these here
for your perusal.
397
00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,720
Thank you very much.
Wait, have another.
398
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,920
Can't have just one.
Absolutely. Why not?
399
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:05,000
Oh, no, don't give him another one.
Who can stop at one? Mmm!
400
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,640
HE GLUGS
401
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:12,840
Mmm! Ooh, that's good!
You love it, don't ya?
402
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,080
Abso... Yeah.
Show 'em how much you love it.
403
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:18,120
Oh, I love it so much.
You're gonna love it, too.
404
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,040
It's like mother's milk, innit?
Just mwah!
405
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:25,000
Mmm, mmm, mmm! Absolutely, Dave.
Thank you very much.
406
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:28,200
Like the sweet milk
of Mother Mary herself.
407
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,960
And I'm sure that when
sweet baby Jesus was there,
408
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,280
sucking on her teat... Nom-nom.
409
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,200
Not... Nursing is what I mean,
but, I mean, let's be honest.
410
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,800
Nursing is sucking.
I mean, come on.
411
00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:39,800
It's not a bad word. It's not dirty.
412
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,960
It's not dirty to suck a tit,
you know?
413
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,280
HE GLUGS
414
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:49,080
Right. Here they are!
Take a look at your leisure.
415
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:52,520
It'll be your pleasure
and my measure.
416
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,320
Come on, show 'em the energy.
No, don't show us the energy.
417
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:57,360
You can't go now.
You gotta show 'em the energy.
418
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,880
Get your Thunder Muscle out.
Absolutely! I am filled with energy.
419
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,520
That's the great thing
about Thunder Muscle!
420
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,040
No, don't... Don't run, don't...
Careful!
421
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:08,560
I'm runnin', I'm runnin' around!
Todd, don't.
422
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:10,360
Look at this! Woo-hoo!
Please don't run...
423
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,720
Come on, give it to 'em, Todd.
I'll sing it, I'll dance it.
424
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,440
I'm comin' to town!
But...
425
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,480
I've got energy!
He's got energy.
426
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:18,880
Look at him go!
427
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,600
I have the strength of 20 ponies.
428
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,760
20!
I have the strength of Zeus,
429
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:28,240
after he made love
to a bionic hippopotamus.
430
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,240
Yeah, nailed it.
Can you see what I'm saying?
431
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:34,240
I'm like Rocky
and Rocky III combined.
432
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:37,880
I'm like if Rocky II
fucked Rocky IV.
433
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,920
Boom! Rocky V.
Do you see what I'm sayin'?
434
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,520
Give me another one of these things.
435
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,880
Yes! Get it down you, Todd.
Don't drink another one...
436
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,880
Chug, chug, chug!
Chug, chug, chug, chug. Yes!
437
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,960
Stop encouraging him, please.
438
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,800
Here's another thing
about Thunder Muscle -
439
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:55,400
It'll make you hard. I mean, brrrr!
440
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,440
OK, no, don't.
I mean, feel this.
441
00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:00,880
She doesn't wanna feel it.
Feel it, feel it! Don't be scared.
442
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,320
When was the last time you had any?
That's what I'm saying.
443
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:05,640
I will fuck the old out of you,
right now.
444
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,160
No, no.
All night long, I will.
445
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,400
That's the beauty of Thunder Muscle!
Not acceptable!
446
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,880
It's just one of the many things!
Here, Thunder Muscle!
447
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,800
No, where are you going?
I am talking to you. That's rude!
448
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,760
Tell 'em about Thunder Muscle.
Because Barack Obama's president?!
449
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:22,360
You racist! You racist!
I'm talking to you!
450
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,120
I'm trying to make a presentation!
Just... My point is, please,
451
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:28,680
just get a Thunder Muscle.
Just buy one. It's one pound.
452
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,040
That's all it is, one pound.
453
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,440
Just somebody fucking buy one,
please.
454
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,440
I need another one of these things.
You don't need more Thunder Muscle.
455
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,040
No! I want one!
You really don't...
456
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:38,400
CLONK
Oh!
457
00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,160
THUD
458
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:43,560
Jesus.
DAVE LAUGHS
459
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,400
What's the matter with you?
Oh, it's funny.
460
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,840
I wanna go home.
461
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,640
I'd like to buy a can
of Thunder Muscle, please.
462
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:02,160
You're a nice lady.
463
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:09,280
How much do I owe you?
The lady paid for it, mate.
464
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,960
She did? That was nice.
465
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:47,440
Argh!
466
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:51,640
This sucks.
467
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,560
HE SNORES,
DOGS BARK
468
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,160
BABY CRIES
469
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:05,640
# Life is short
470
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:07,720
# And the days are long
471
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:09,600
# Gotta get right back
472
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:11,600
# But I don't belong
473
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,680
# Life is sweet
474
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,760
# It's a good thing it's gone
475
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,800
# Things are gonna get worse. #
476
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,400
FLIES BUZZING
477
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:26,560
CAT MEOWS
478
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,800
CROW SQUAWKS
479
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,120
CAT MEOWS
480
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,440
CROW SQUAWKS
481
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,680
CAT YOWLS
37712
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