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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:34,078 --> 00:00:37,095 This is Diondra Tundra, live at City Hall, 2 00:00:37,155 --> 00:00:39,306 where we are moments away from finding out 3 00:00:39,399 --> 00:00:41,107 who will serve as interim mayor 4 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:43,919 while Mayor Peppers undergoes a reverse vasectomy. 5 00:00:44,146 --> 00:00:45,903 While he's getting his junk back, 6 00:00:45,923 --> 00:00:47,314 we're getting a town hall snack. 7 00:00:47,407 --> 00:00:48,661 They're talking about you, babe. 8 00:00:48,741 --> 00:00:50,333 Well, now, let's not jinx it. 9 00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:52,652 While write-in votes are yet to be counted, 10 00:00:52,745 --> 00:00:53,929 according to exit polls, 11 00:00:54,156 --> 00:00:56,156 Councilperson Roy and Council Eagle Toby 12 00:00:56,174 --> 00:00:58,992 are neck and feathered neck with Wolf Tobin, 13 00:00:59,010 --> 00:01:00,918 seen here in his official campaign photo. 14 00:01:00,938 --> 00:01:03,663 Babe, I think you really are going to frang the dang thing. 15 00:01:03,682 --> 00:01:06,349 Well, don't count out those write-in votes just yet. 16 00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:07,684 Lone Moosers love a write-in. 17 00:01:07,836 --> 00:01:09,519 They get their head turned pretty easily. 18 00:01:09,613 --> 00:01:11,762 Indeed. Last time Mayor Peppers was out, 19 00:01:11,782 --> 00:01:14,674 everyone wrote in Mrs. Laramie just because she'd given out 20 00:01:14,767 --> 00:01:17,285 full-sized candy bars for Halloween the previous fall. 21 00:01:17,437 --> 00:01:19,270 Well, now she's been dead for five years. 22 00:01:19,439 --> 00:01:20,789 So I just might frang this. 23 00:01:25,704 --> 00:01:27,295 Mr. and Mrs. Michelle Obama? 24 00:01:27,447 --> 00:01:29,706 Of course, I'd love to start a podcast together 25 00:01:32,285 --> 00:01:34,878 Whoo! I can't wait to give the town of Lone Moose 26 00:01:35,030 --> 00:01:37,197 a full-sized bar called my heart. 27 00:01:37,290 --> 00:01:39,382 So, does Lone Moose always elect a short-term mayor 28 00:01:39,476 --> 00:01:41,217 when the regular mayor takes a sick day? 29 00:01:41,311 --> 00:01:42,869 Only when anesthesia is involved. 30 00:01:42,962 --> 00:01:44,626 Otherwise, Lone Moose officials pride themselves 31 00:01:44,706 --> 00:01:46,815 on unnecessarily powering through illnesses. 32 00:01:47,042 --> 00:01:48,633 Our last mayor passed a kidney stone 33 00:01:48,652 --> 00:01:50,760 while reading to first graders at the library. 34 00:01:50,912 --> 00:01:52,045 If You Give a Moose a Muffin 35 00:01:52,047 --> 00:01:54,156 gets pretty existential when screamed. 36 00:01:54,307 --> 00:01:57,642 Jerry, would you like any more boneless barbecue bacon bites? 37 00:01:57,736 --> 00:01:59,085 No, thanks, I'm full. 38 00:01:59,087 --> 00:02:01,070 Did I tell you they were free? 39 00:02:01,223 --> 00:02:02,647 You did, like a dozen times. 40 00:02:02,724 --> 00:02:04,982 Jerry, these guys are very weird about free stuff. 41 00:02:05,002 --> 00:02:06,910 - They can't resist it. - This is Alaska. 42 00:02:07,062 --> 00:02:08,895 If someone offers you anything for free, 43 00:02:08,914 --> 00:02:10,488 you take it and you run like hell. 44 00:02:10,507 --> 00:02:12,248 - Yeah. Yeah. - That's true. 45 00:02:12,342 --> 00:02:13,931 This is it. They're announcing the final results. 46 00:02:14,011 --> 00:02:16,678 With all the votes counted, Wolf Tobin does have the lead... 47 00:02:16,905 --> 00:02:17,679 Woo-hoo! 48 00:02:17,906 --> 00:02:19,072 Among official candidates. 49 00:02:19,090 --> 00:02:21,758 But the actual winner is a write-in. 50 00:02:21,910 --> 00:02:24,577 Wolf Tobin was hoping to take home a win tonight, 51 00:02:24,671 --> 00:02:27,171 but Honeybee Shaw-Tobin beat him to it. 52 00:02:27,265 --> 00:02:29,432 Wait, I won? Wolf, I'm-I'm... 53 00:02:29,526 --> 00:02:31,509 Yeah... 54 00:02:31,528 --> 00:02:34,103 it's all right, I... 55 00:02:34,198 --> 00:02:37,014 Aw, babe, You know I'd never win against you on purpose. 56 00:02:37,034 --> 00:02:38,925 Unless it was some kind of fun casino scheme 57 00:02:39,018 --> 00:02:40,290 where we split the profits after. 58 00:02:40,370 --> 00:02:41,852 You know, maybe I'll just have 59 00:02:41,947 --> 00:02:43,688 a little drink to, celebrate. 60 00:02:43,782 --> 00:02:46,599 But I should probably open this campaign champagne 61 00:02:46,601 --> 00:02:50,861 outside so I don't risk injuring our new interim mayor. 62 00:02:51,548 --> 00:02:53,623 It's not a big deal that you didn't win, Wolf. 63 00:02:53,775 --> 00:02:55,291 You're better than this. 64 00:02:55,444 --> 00:02:57,382 Having a hot wife that everyone likes much, much more than you 65 00:02:57,462 --> 00:02:58,720 is no reason to be jealous. 66 00:02:58,871 --> 00:03:00,627 Yeah, what's important is that you tried your best 67 00:03:00,707 --> 00:03:03,450 and instead it went someone who didn't try at all. 68 00:03:03,543 --> 00:03:05,285 Why isn't this making me feel better? 69 00:03:05,378 --> 00:03:08,304 Aah! Susan Sarandon's brother Brandon, that hurt. 70 00:03:09,882 --> 00:03:12,976 Okay, I'm gonna go back in there and be supportive. 71 00:03:13,070 --> 00:03:14,552 It's like the Rolling Stones say, 72 00:03:14,571 --> 00:03:16,796 "You can't always get what you want, but your wife can. 73 00:03:16,815 --> 00:03:19,983 And that's okay, too, because maybe she'll have leftovers." 74 00:03:20,077 --> 00:03:23,820 Did somebody say Lone Moose has a sexy new mayor 75 00:03:23,972 --> 00:03:25,730 with a strong, supportive husband? 76 00:03:25,807 --> 00:03:27,657 So, you're not upset about losing? 77 00:03:27,751 --> 00:03:31,086 I was for a second, but now I'm 100% behind you 78 00:03:31,237 --> 00:03:33,904 and ready to hitch my wagon to your caboose. 79 00:03:33,924 --> 00:03:35,315 - Toot-toot! - Well, okay, then. 80 00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:37,241 Because now that it's sunk in, I'm pretty excited. 81 00:03:37,261 --> 00:03:39,499 I've always wanted a chance to have some real responsibility. 82 00:03:39,579 --> 00:03:41,368 At the curtain store, it felt like Dad would never 83 00:03:41,448 --> 00:03:43,823 let me in on the big decisions like which new styles to order. 84 00:03:43,842 --> 00:03:45,802 Or how long to let a customer stay in the bathroom 85 00:03:45,936 --> 00:03:47,160 before giving a concerned knock. 86 00:03:47,162 --> 00:03:48,802 Well, here's your first decision as mayor: 87 00:03:48,921 --> 00:03:52,440 would you like a hooray hug or a congratulations kiss? 88 00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:54,000 Ooh, both. 89 00:03:54,019 --> 00:03:55,502 See, I'm gonna be great at this. 90 00:03:55,595 --> 00:03:57,796 And I'm going to be great at standing right beside you 91 00:03:57,798 --> 00:03:59,005 every step of the way. 92 00:03:59,024 --> 00:04:00,782 It'll almost be like I'm mayor, too. 93 00:04:01,009 --> 00:04:02,859 Yeah, but I'm actually the mayor. 94 00:04:03,011 --> 00:04:05,453 Of course, of course. 95 00:04:05,605 --> 00:04:08,456 Honeybee Shaw-Tobin, with the power vested in me, 96 00:04:08,683 --> 00:04:12,552 I hereby appoint you Interim Mayor. 97 00:04:12,554 --> 00:04:15,130 You're done. I assumed there'd be like a ball, 98 00:04:15,357 --> 00:04:17,357 with like a live orchestra, and maybe Elsa's there 99 00:04:17,375 --> 00:04:19,192 and she freezes the town, and then Hans... 100 00:04:19,210 --> 00:04:20,557 You're in a Frozen spiral, sweetie. 101 00:04:20,637 --> 00:04:23,196 - Right, right. - You do get to wear the sash. 102 00:04:23,214 --> 00:04:25,974 Sorry, there's a little mustard stain on it from the last guy. 103 00:04:26,125 --> 00:04:28,701 I should be fully recovered by 8:00 a.m. tomorrow, 104 00:04:28,795 --> 00:04:30,294 and then I'll be ready... 105 00:04:30,314 --> 00:04:32,705 to be your next American Idol. 106 00:04:32,799 --> 00:04:36,151 Sorry, the medication might be kicking in a little. 107 00:04:36,302 --> 00:04:40,113 Don't worry, Mayor Peppers, Lone Moose is in great hands. 108 00:04:41,399 --> 00:04:43,808 Here's your coffee, my governmental goddess. 109 00:04:43,827 --> 00:04:45,051 They didn't have any milk, 110 00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:46,719 so I used a little dollop of sour cream. 111 00:04:46,738 --> 00:04:49,556 And I did have to use a stapler as a stir stick 112 00:04:49,574 --> 00:04:52,650 and one staple did get in, but I fished it right out. 113 00:04:52,669 --> 00:04:54,077 You're... staying? 114 00:04:54,171 --> 00:04:56,412 Yeah. I figured, since I did all that research 115 00:04:56,565 --> 00:04:58,231 on Lone Moose for my campaign, 116 00:04:58,249 --> 00:05:00,157 I might as well keep my brain right here for you to pick. 117 00:05:00,177 --> 00:05:02,085 Okay, that's fine. 118 00:05:02,237 --> 00:05:04,179 I bet even Beyoncé brings Jay-Z to work sometimes 119 00:05:04,406 --> 00:05:05,588 in case she needs someone 120 00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:07,849 to get her a new mouse pad or something. 121 00:05:08,076 --> 00:05:09,333 You're going to sit right here? 122 00:05:09,353 --> 00:05:10,835 Right over my shoulder? Okay. 123 00:05:10,854 --> 00:05:15,023 Like a little guardian angel. Or a very erotic parrot. 124 00:05:15,174 --> 00:05:17,174 - Terrific. - Ca-caw, ca-caw! 125 00:05:17,194 --> 00:05:19,110 Polly wants some politics. 126 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,516 Good morning, Interim Mayor Honeybee and regular Wolf. 127 00:05:25,594 --> 00:05:27,610 Good morning, Councilperson Gwen, Stephanie. 128 00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,960 Tell me everything I need to know about interim mayoring. 129 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,447 You can use the private bathroom, 130 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,766 you can print anything you want all day, 131 00:05:33,860 --> 00:05:35,782 and some people like to bang the gavel in the meeting room. 132 00:05:35,862 --> 00:05:37,620 You brought your computer. 133 00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:39,122 Yes, but don't mind me, 134 00:05:39,216 --> 00:05:40,364 just taking some notes. 135 00:05:40,458 --> 00:05:44,293 "Honeybee bang gavel, comma, go potty." 136 00:05:44,446 --> 00:05:46,112 Wait, so that's all I do today? 137 00:05:46,131 --> 00:05:47,296 I don't make any decisions? 138 00:05:47,449 --> 00:05:49,039 You can decide where we order lunch from. 139 00:05:49,059 --> 00:05:50,619 But don't leave leftovers in the fridge. 140 00:05:50,710 --> 00:05:51,801 That's my pet peeve. 141 00:05:51,953 --> 00:05:53,033 Ready to go bang the gavel? 142 00:05:53,121 --> 00:05:55,230 - I guess. - Ding ding! 143 00:05:55,381 --> 00:05:56,456 Ding ding! 144 00:05:56,549 --> 00:05:58,124 Why did you take away the counter bell? 145 00:05:58,217 --> 00:06:00,718 Vera's here with her daily complaints. 146 00:06:00,737 --> 00:06:02,629 We took away the bell because she just rings it 147 00:06:02,631 --> 00:06:04,054 and rings it when the mayor won't see her. 148 00:06:04,074 --> 00:06:06,149 Now she just yells till she falls asleep, 149 00:06:06,243 --> 00:06:07,575 and then we put her in her car. 150 00:06:07,727 --> 00:06:08,910 Well, send her in. 151 00:06:09,061 --> 00:06:10,820 Are you sure? She's terrible. 152 00:06:10,972 --> 00:06:12,396 I can handle it. I'm the mayor. 153 00:06:12,474 --> 00:06:13,731 That's what I'm here for. 154 00:06:13,750 --> 00:06:15,141 Ding ding! Ding ding! 155 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:16,309 Hello, new idiot. 156 00:06:16,327 --> 00:06:17,327 I'd like to move my fence 157 00:06:17,421 --> 00:06:18,811 - five feet back and... - Done! 158 00:06:18,830 --> 00:06:19,830 Wait, really? 159 00:06:19,981 --> 00:06:22,165 Okay, I just need you to sign this. 160 00:06:22,317 --> 00:06:23,332 Actually... 161 00:06:23,485 --> 00:06:24,759 Only five feet, right? 162 00:06:24,911 --> 00:06:26,758 That's like the five-second rule, but with distances. 163 00:06:26,838 --> 00:06:28,337 Just a moment, my nubile notary... 164 00:06:28,506 --> 00:06:30,323 Do I not have the power to do this? 165 00:06:30,341 --> 00:06:31,507 Well, you do, actually. 166 00:06:31,660 --> 00:06:33,159 But there's actually a whole process 167 00:06:33,161 --> 00:06:34,343 for re-fencing in Lone Moose, 168 00:06:34,496 --> 00:06:35,328 and I do recommend we follow it 169 00:06:35,421 --> 00:06:36,846 because just to the northwest... 170 00:06:36,940 --> 00:06:40,608 We can circle back to this riveting geography lesson later. 171 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:41,834 - It's a yes. - Thanks. 172 00:06:41,853 --> 00:06:44,003 I'm glad I voted for you as a joke. 173 00:06:44,096 --> 00:06:45,354 That was awesome. 174 00:06:45,449 --> 00:06:47,023 I feel so energized and powerful, 175 00:06:47,117 --> 00:06:49,358 like a Lady Cocaine Bear. 176 00:06:49,511 --> 00:06:51,511 So, you don't just want to spend the day 177 00:06:51,604 --> 00:06:53,955 looking for giant scissors and asking if we have nukes? 178 00:06:54,106 --> 00:06:55,848 I definitely will do both of those things, 179 00:06:55,867 --> 00:06:57,033 but I'm here to help, too. 180 00:06:57,185 --> 00:06:58,442 Okay, in that case, 181 00:06:58,462 --> 00:07:00,687 I have a small proposal I'd love to run by you. 182 00:07:00,780 --> 00:07:03,298 There are no small proposals, just small mayors. 183 00:07:03,449 --> 00:07:05,467 Which, to be clear, is different than short kings, 184 00:07:05,618 --> 00:07:06,876 who I love and respect. 185 00:07:07,028 --> 00:07:09,286 See, Lone Moose has had a noise curfew of 8:00 p.m. 186 00:07:09,306 --> 00:07:11,698 since the 1800s, originally put in place 187 00:07:11,716 --> 00:07:13,063 when the home harpsichord was invented, 188 00:07:13,143 --> 00:07:16,126 and it's really a bummer for the karaoke night I host. 189 00:07:16,221 --> 00:07:17,479 Stephanie, no. 190 00:07:17,706 --> 00:07:19,294 If I can't sing the entire soundtrack 191 00:07:19,374 --> 00:07:22,225 to Broadway's Liam Neeson's Taken: The Musical 192 00:07:22,377 --> 00:07:24,802 at my own party, is this even America? 193 00:07:24,821 --> 00:07:26,379 Not to me. Where's that bill? 194 00:07:26,397 --> 00:07:29,215 Now, Honeybee, I don't want to Wolf-splain this to you, 195 00:07:29,308 --> 00:07:30,975 but in a small Alaskan town, 196 00:07:31,069 --> 00:07:33,477 even the tiniest decisions can be a big deal. 197 00:07:33,497 --> 00:07:35,980 You would not believe the brouhaha that erupted 198 00:07:35,999 --> 00:07:38,407 when the city council let two different coffee shops 199 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,168 call themselves Brew-Ha-Ha's. 200 00:07:40,395 --> 00:07:43,320 Well, thank you for your input, constituent Wolf, 201 00:07:43,340 --> 00:07:46,082 but I am capable of making decisions. 202 00:07:46,158 --> 00:07:47,992 I'm sorry, my Sonia Sexy-mayor. 203 00:07:48,069 --> 00:07:51,087 It's just that I did do a lot of preparation for this job. 204 00:07:51,181 --> 00:07:52,663 Right, but now it's my job. 205 00:07:52,757 --> 00:07:54,420 And we're talking about fences and music here, 206 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:55,517 not world peace. 207 00:07:55,744 --> 00:07:57,577 Bam! Now, Stephanie, send out an email blast 208 00:07:57,595 --> 00:07:58,942 letting people know I'll be holding 209 00:07:59,022 --> 00:08:01,080 mayoral office hours for the rest of the day. 210 00:08:01,099 --> 00:08:03,358 And add the fun GIF where a dog keeps barking 211 00:08:03,509 --> 00:08:04,917 at a poster of Reba. 212 00:08:04,936 --> 00:08:06,616 Now, that's gonna get some heinies in hallways. 213 00:08:06,696 --> 00:08:09,179 Speaking of which, I'm thinking I move this chair back around 214 00:08:09,274 --> 00:08:11,274 and then we'll each put one butt cheek on yours? 215 00:08:11,368 --> 00:08:13,776 Or, if you have other errands 216 00:08:13,928 --> 00:08:15,762 to do or something, I'm good. 217 00:08:15,855 --> 00:08:18,447 Nope, I'm free as a turd. 218 00:08:21,102 --> 00:08:22,860 If it's not too much trouble... 219 00:08:22,954 --> 00:08:24,862 - Well, actually, babe... - Approved. 220 00:08:25,790 --> 00:08:27,862 - Now, hon, if it were me... - I'm gonna say yes, Dorothy. 221 00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:30,960 You make a girl want to start paying her taxes again. 222 00:08:38,787 --> 00:08:39,877 Well, 223 00:08:39,971 --> 00:08:42,288 if it isn't Lone Moose's first family. 224 00:08:42,307 --> 00:08:45,382 Congratulations on being related to the interim mayor. 225 00:08:45,402 --> 00:08:46,459 Thank you. It's an honor 226 00:08:46,477 --> 00:08:47,643 to have someone in the family 227 00:08:47,737 --> 00:08:49,386 be recognized by the town. 228 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:50,572 Mom got recognized a lot, 229 00:08:50,799 --> 00:08:52,632 but mostly for pretending to be a mermaid 230 00:08:52,650 --> 00:08:54,391 off the docks when she drank too much Zima. 231 00:08:54,469 --> 00:08:56,060 You know, I'd love to get a picture 232 00:08:56,079 --> 00:08:58,304 of Mayor Honeybee up on the wall today. 233 00:08:58,306 --> 00:09:00,415 - What's in it for us? - Well... 234 00:09:00,642 --> 00:09:02,475 I didn't think I'd be hungry, 235 00:09:02,493 --> 00:09:05,086 but special treatment really works up an appetite. 236 00:09:05,163 --> 00:09:07,589 I'll admit getting free pies from Maude's 237 00:09:07,816 --> 00:09:10,499 was an unexpected and appreciated indulgence. 238 00:09:10,652 --> 00:09:12,409 But let's not let this go to our heads. 239 00:09:12,503 --> 00:09:14,745 Hey, Tobins. Got some new samples in. 240 00:09:14,823 --> 00:09:16,914 Don't suppose you'd like to take them for a spin? 241 00:09:16,933 --> 00:09:18,991 Maybe Honeybee sees something she likes 242 00:09:19,010 --> 00:09:21,661 and pops down for a picture I can throw on our website? 243 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:24,831 Well, it'd be rude not to at least look. 244 00:09:24,924 --> 00:09:26,924 Wow, it's only 2:00, and I've already made 245 00:09:26,943 --> 00:09:28,592 more decisions in one day than I made 246 00:09:28,612 --> 00:09:30,519 in all the time I worked at the curtain shop. 247 00:09:30,672 --> 00:09:32,021 Is there a level above girlboss? 248 00:09:32,173 --> 00:09:34,264 You know, maybe this afternoon you and I sit here 249 00:09:34,284 --> 00:09:36,951 and carefully go over every decision you've made thus far. 250 00:09:37,178 --> 00:09:39,269 See if there's any you want to un-decide. 251 00:09:39,289 --> 00:09:41,122 Actually, Wolf, you know, I was thinking 252 00:09:41,273 --> 00:09:43,353 maybe you could work at home for the rest of the day. 253 00:09:43,518 --> 00:09:45,275 'Cause I've been noodling 254 00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:47,687 on a very special project for you. 255 00:09:47,705 --> 00:09:50,131 Lone Moose has a lot of small town charm, 256 00:09:50,282 --> 00:09:52,208 but are we maximizing it? 257 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:54,802 - Great question. - I want you to take this phone book... 258 00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:57,363 Someone just got a PhB. 259 00:09:57,382 --> 00:09:58,547 And call everyone in town 260 00:09:58,642 --> 00:10:00,212 and ask them if they have any quirky skills 261 00:10:00,292 --> 00:10:02,252 that we can put on the Lone Moose tourism website. 262 00:10:02,370 --> 00:10:04,220 This idea absolutely cranks. 263 00:10:04,314 --> 00:10:07,390 Great. And I'll stay here and, you know, be the mayor. 264 00:10:07,484 --> 00:10:09,651 Which I was elected to be. While you're more 265 00:10:09,836 --> 00:10:11,377 behind the scenes. At home. 266 00:10:11,396 --> 00:10:12,545 Hell yes. 267 00:10:12,638 --> 00:10:15,490 You'll be like Kamala Harris and I'm... 268 00:10:15,641 --> 00:10:16,658 I want to say Gary? 269 00:10:16,809 --> 00:10:18,551 - Doug. - And I'll be Doug. 270 00:10:18,644 --> 00:10:21,554 Well, we're just hours into the Honeybee administration, 271 00:10:21,572 --> 00:10:24,073 and the town is positively buzzing. 272 00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:25,741 She's talking directly to the people 273 00:10:25,894 --> 00:10:29,395 and she's saying yes to easing their distress. 274 00:10:29,414 --> 00:10:31,005 Just ask Dorothy Tuntley. 275 00:10:31,157 --> 00:10:33,566 Honeybee rescinded the skinny-dipping ban. 276 00:10:33,584 --> 00:10:36,068 Now if I want to hit the lake on my property 277 00:10:36,087 --> 00:10:37,403 in what God granted, 278 00:10:37,514 --> 00:10:40,406 it's between me and the super hot owl in my pine tree. 279 00:10:40,425 --> 00:10:41,757 There you have it. 280 00:10:41,910 --> 00:10:45,186 If you've got a worry, come see the mayor in a hurry. 281 00:10:45,337 --> 00:10:48,097 Fresh air, the night sky. 282 00:10:48,191 --> 00:10:49,524 And getting absolutely hammered. 283 00:10:49,675 --> 00:10:53,361 I'm talking permitted outdoor alcohol consumption. 284 00:10:54,197 --> 00:10:56,589 I don't know. Moose-hunting within town limits 285 00:10:56,607 --> 00:10:57,681 seems kind of dangerous. 286 00:10:57,775 --> 00:10:59,033 Moose are the dangerous ones. 287 00:10:59,185 --> 00:11:01,444 I found one in my den going through my DVDs. 288 00:11:01,612 --> 00:11:04,430 It ate my copy of Michael Douglas's The Game. 289 00:11:04,449 --> 00:11:06,282 That bastard. 290 00:11:06,376 --> 00:11:07,433 Approved. 291 00:11:07,602 --> 00:11:09,210 Go for Mayor Honeybee. 292 00:11:09,437 --> 00:11:10,603 This is the First Husband. 293 00:11:10,696 --> 00:11:11,862 What you doing? 294 00:11:11,881 --> 00:11:13,289 I'm at work, which you know 295 00:11:13,383 --> 00:11:14,364 because it's where you called me. 296 00:11:14,459 --> 00:11:15,958 So true. 297 00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:18,199 Thought you might want to hear how the project is going. 298 00:11:18,279 --> 00:11:21,630 I finished. Ha! Got a lot of good quirks. 299 00:11:21,783 --> 00:11:24,283 For instance, did you know that Daniel Strunk 300 00:11:24,376 --> 00:11:26,394 has a beaver cemetery in his backyard? 301 00:11:26,471 --> 00:11:28,879 He's laid hundreds of our flat-tailed friends to rest. 302 00:11:28,973 --> 00:11:31,958 Amazing. Just, email it all over. 303 00:11:32,051 --> 00:11:33,217 Actually, if I leave now, 304 00:11:33,236 --> 00:11:34,399 I can head on in and get caught up 305 00:11:34,479 --> 00:11:35,992 on everything that's happened since I left. 306 00:11:36,072 --> 00:11:38,130 Hold on, someone's talking to me. 307 00:11:38,149 --> 00:11:39,648 What's that? Mayor-mergency? 308 00:11:39,743 --> 00:11:41,300 Sorry, babe, got to go. 309 00:11:41,393 --> 00:11:42,226 Ha. 310 00:11:42,303 --> 00:11:43,636 That's a busy little Honeybee. 311 00:11:43,654 --> 00:11:46,822 But this Wolfy worker bee is just as busy. 312 00:11:46,975 --> 00:11:48,324 I know. 313 00:11:48,493 --> 00:11:50,585 Busy making a romantic as all heck dinner, 314 00:11:50,736 --> 00:11:53,312 to celebrate the end of Honeybee's mayoral term. 315 00:11:53,481 --> 00:11:56,240 Now, where are the pizza rolls? 316 00:11:56,408 --> 00:11:58,484 I can't believe I've wasted my life 317 00:11:58,577 --> 00:12:01,596 wearing wool socks when I could be wearing the full sheep. 318 00:12:01,823 --> 00:12:02,823 My feet are sweating, 319 00:12:02,991 --> 00:12:04,336 which normally would make them cold, 320 00:12:04,416 --> 00:12:06,097 but then these boots just warm them up again. 321 00:12:06,177 --> 00:12:08,418 This confusing sensation is certainly worth 322 00:12:08,438 --> 00:12:10,513 a few moments of Honeybee's time. 323 00:12:10,665 --> 00:12:12,607 Yoo-hoo, Tobins. 324 00:12:12,758 --> 00:12:14,667 Y'all look so important. 325 00:12:14,685 --> 00:12:16,669 Well, we're having a special on free makeovers 326 00:12:16,762 --> 00:12:20,531 for people who are on their way to see Mayor Honeybee. 327 00:12:23,953 --> 00:12:26,695 Well, gals, I guess that's all she wrote, literally. 328 00:12:26,848 --> 00:12:28,545 Okay, let me just get Wolf's leftovers for you 329 00:12:28,625 --> 00:12:30,958 since he forgot them here, which is weird... 330 00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:32,273 since there's a sign on the fridge 331 00:12:32,353 --> 00:12:34,870 and I did issue a verbal warning... 332 00:12:36,858 --> 00:12:39,116 Did you guys get me a singing congrats-o-gram? 333 00:12:39,210 --> 00:12:40,784 Hear ye, hear ye. 334 00:12:40,804 --> 00:12:44,030 I, Jeremy Reuben, the duly elected town crier 335 00:12:44,123 --> 00:12:46,699 of Whippleton hereby notify you that Whippleton 336 00:12:46,792 --> 00:12:49,727 formally declares war against Lone Moose. 337 00:12:53,875 --> 00:12:55,572 Wait, Whippleton is declaring war? Gwen, Stephanie? 338 00:12:55,652 --> 00:12:57,893 Can they do that? Like, actual war? 339 00:12:58,046 --> 00:13:00,229 With fighting and cargo pants and stuff? 340 00:13:00,381 --> 00:13:03,549 Whereby Lone Moose did encroach upon Whippleton 341 00:13:03,642 --> 00:13:06,143 by a distance of five feet upon our border, 342 00:13:06,162 --> 00:13:08,312 which is, according to the Treaty of 1989, 343 00:13:08,331 --> 00:13:10,072 considered to be an act of war, 344 00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:13,984 war is therefore duly declared. 345 00:13:14,078 --> 00:13:15,078 Thank you for listening. 346 00:13:15,171 --> 00:13:16,820 I'll see you on the battlefield. 347 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:18,506 May I use your restroom? 348 00:13:18,733 --> 00:13:21,083 I had two grape Fantas on the drive over. 349 00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:23,252 You're home, finally. 350 00:13:23,346 --> 00:13:25,179 The pizza rolls are cold, 351 00:13:25,331 --> 00:13:26,919 but we could, reheat them if you know what I mean? 352 00:13:26,999 --> 00:13:29,163 I'm kind of in the middle of some important city business. 353 00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:30,443 I thought you were handing 354 00:13:30,578 --> 00:13:31,858 the reins back to Mayor Peppers. 355 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:33,425 W-What's so important that it can't wait 356 00:13:33,505 --> 00:13:36,006 until after this elegant retirement feast, 357 00:13:36,025 --> 00:13:37,416 my Delicious-Beth Warren? 358 00:13:37,435 --> 00:13:39,009 Lone Moose is at war. 359 00:13:39,103 --> 00:13:41,103 Wait, like Lone Moose Lone Moose? 360 00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:42,512 Yes, and I'm just about to head to the front. 361 00:13:42,532 --> 00:13:44,106 Where's our emergency stash of peppermint bark? 362 00:13:44,183 --> 00:13:45,199 I need a peace offering. 363 00:13:45,426 --> 00:13:47,259 This is about Vera's fence? 364 00:13:47,278 --> 00:13:48,685 Wait, how did you... 365 00:13:48,779 --> 00:13:50,187 The 1989 land treaty. 366 00:13:50,206 --> 00:13:51,688 I tried to tell you this morning. 367 00:13:51,708 --> 00:13:52,874 You tried to tell me? 368 00:13:53,025 --> 00:13:54,297 You did not say anything about a war. 369 00:13:54,377 --> 00:13:55,577 I mean, I was going to, but... 370 00:13:55,694 --> 00:13:57,378 Look, I'll just head out there with you 371 00:13:57,529 --> 00:13:58,713 and fix this problem... 372 00:13:58,864 --> 00:14:01,549 No, I don't need my husband rushing in to save me. 373 00:14:01,776 --> 00:14:03,217 I'm not saving, I'm helping. 374 00:14:03,444 --> 00:14:04,534 I've been trying to help all day. 375 00:14:04,554 --> 00:14:06,220 I finished the special assignment. 376 00:14:06,372 --> 00:14:07,221 I just gave you that assignment 377 00:14:07,373 --> 00:14:08,556 to get you off my junk. 378 00:14:08,707 --> 00:14:10,299 - Wait, really? - Yes. 379 00:14:10,451 --> 00:14:11,889 I didn't ask you to come to the office with me. 380 00:14:11,969 --> 00:14:13,452 And I also didn't ask you to correct 381 00:14:13,454 --> 00:14:15,287 every decision I made like a big jerk. 382 00:14:15,306 --> 00:14:16,622 Well, maybe if you'd listened to me 383 00:14:16,641 --> 00:14:18,974 questioning all your decisions like a big jerk, 384 00:14:19,068 --> 00:14:20,068 we wouldn't be at war. 385 00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:21,341 Please, you were just mad 386 00:14:21,421 --> 00:14:22,808 that people like me better than you. 387 00:14:22,888 --> 00:14:24,554 What? No. 388 00:14:24,574 --> 00:14:25,722 F-Fine. You know what? 389 00:14:25,742 --> 00:14:27,967 All offers to help are hereby rescinded. 390 00:14:27,969 --> 00:14:31,153 Let's face it. I'm an Elsa and you're an Olaf at best. 391 00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:32,729 No, wait, everyone loves Olaf. 392 00:14:32,749 --> 00:14:34,653 You're one of the carrots they feed the reindeer. 393 00:14:34,733 --> 00:14:36,918 Damn it, I'm in a Frozen spiral again. 394 00:14:37,069 --> 00:14:38,994 By God, I'm glistening. 395 00:14:39,147 --> 00:14:42,924 Dare I say this is the best free makeover I've ever had. 396 00:14:43,151 --> 00:14:44,316 You dare, and I dare. 397 00:14:44,410 --> 00:14:45,651 You were right, Yolanda. 398 00:14:45,670 --> 00:14:48,003 Contouring is exactly like frosting a cake. 399 00:14:48,097 --> 00:14:50,322 If you mess up, you just add another layer. 400 00:14:50,341 --> 00:14:51,503 We'd better get over to town hall 401 00:14:51,583 --> 00:14:53,676 to get Honeybee to stop by for her pictures. 402 00:14:53,770 --> 00:14:55,085 She's not responding to my texts. 403 00:14:55,104 --> 00:14:56,328 Also I cannot see my phone. 404 00:14:56,347 --> 00:14:57,754 All right, y'all, when you bring her, 405 00:14:57,774 --> 00:15:01,016 I'll set y'all up with some gorgeous acrylic nails. 406 00:15:01,110 --> 00:15:02,092 I don't know what those are, 407 00:15:02,111 --> 00:15:03,444 and I cannot wait to have them. 408 00:15:03,613 --> 00:15:06,689 Okay, everyone, hi, hi, nice to meet you. 409 00:15:06,841 --> 00:15:08,524 I'm Honeybee, Interim Mayor of Lone Moose. 410 00:15:08,676 --> 00:15:11,343 Ooh, peppermint bark. Can someone hold my retainer? 411 00:15:11,437 --> 00:15:14,697 I stand before you as Mayoress Shanice Parker-Butts. 412 00:15:14,849 --> 00:15:17,792 You have encroached on our land with much boldness, sir. 413 00:15:17,943 --> 00:15:19,794 - 'Tis war. - Okay, yes, 414 00:15:20,021 --> 00:15:21,295 first of all, love the outfits. 415 00:15:21,447 --> 00:15:23,856 Listen, we are just talking about five feet, 416 00:15:23,874 --> 00:15:25,541 and I'm sure Vera wasn't aware 417 00:15:25,693 --> 00:15:27,951 - of the trouble she was causing when she... - I knew. 418 00:15:28,045 --> 00:15:29,637 Who do you think called and told them? 419 00:15:29,788 --> 00:15:30,972 - Vera. - Deal with it. 420 00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:32,047 Chaos keeps me young. 421 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,532 She called, but you signed 422 00:15:33,625 --> 00:15:35,625 the authorization for her to move the fence, 423 00:15:35,645 --> 00:15:37,219 Mrs. Interim Mayor. 424 00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:39,647 Mayor Honeybee, we have a situation. 425 00:15:39,798 --> 00:15:40,982 Which I am dealing with. 426 00:15:41,209 --> 00:15:42,391 Um, yes, hello, everyone. 427 00:15:42,485 --> 00:15:43,709 Mayor Shanice. 428 00:15:43,728 --> 00:15:45,299 But I'm actually not talking about the war. 429 00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:48,138 Things have gotten a little... out of control in town. 430 00:15:49,808 --> 00:15:51,141 Okay, guys, I'll be right back. 431 00:15:51,235 --> 00:15:53,327 - Vera, get them some coffee, okay? - Never. 432 00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:01,836 Okay, I am realizing 433 00:16:01,987 --> 00:16:03,229 that getting rid of the noise curfew 434 00:16:03,247 --> 00:16:04,672 and allowing hunting in town 435 00:16:04,749 --> 00:16:06,154 may not have been one of my finest moments. 436 00:16:06,234 --> 00:16:08,917 I guess, tell the crowd to disperse, Edna. 437 00:16:09,086 --> 00:16:12,404 I'd love to, but no one is breaking the law. 438 00:16:12,423 --> 00:16:14,015 Even the public drinking is legal now. 439 00:16:14,166 --> 00:16:15,421 Boy, I really screwed the moose. 440 00:16:15,501 --> 00:16:17,331 But I can handle this. This town still loves me. 441 00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:18,502 Let me make an announcement 442 00:16:18,521 --> 00:16:19,943 that if everyone goes home right now, 443 00:16:20,023 --> 00:16:22,097 I will write on their Facebook wall 444 00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:23,507 when it's their birthday. Aah! 445 00:16:23,675 --> 00:16:25,251 Sorry. I was aiming for that moose. 446 00:16:25,269 --> 00:16:27,361 Mrs. Tuntley! 447 00:16:27,588 --> 00:16:29,421 Yoo-hoo, Mr. Owl! 448 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,515 I have eight more songs, then it's your turn. 449 00:16:31,534 --> 00:16:34,535 Bottomless moonshine, get your bottomless moonshine. 450 00:16:34,686 --> 00:16:37,121 What have I done? 451 00:16:37,874 --> 00:16:40,432 - No. - Atten-hut. 452 00:16:40,451 --> 00:16:42,543 Acting Mayor Honeybee Shaw-Tobin? 453 00:16:42,694 --> 00:16:43,860 Unfortunately, yes. 454 00:16:43,954 --> 00:16:46,105 I hereby notify you that as an ally 455 00:16:46,198 --> 00:16:47,548 of the noble land of Whippleton, 456 00:16:47,699 --> 00:16:49,032 the town of Ted's Folly 457 00:16:49,201 --> 00:16:52,553 formally also declares war on Lone Moose. 458 00:16:52,704 --> 00:16:53,870 Terrific. 459 00:16:54,039 --> 00:16:55,114 What in the world? 460 00:16:55,132 --> 00:16:56,298 Honeybee, we need to take you 461 00:16:56,375 --> 00:16:58,208 to get your nails done. 462 00:16:58,227 --> 00:16:59,785 Lady Birds Johnson. 463 00:16:59,804 --> 00:17:03,547 I'm so upset I'm even wasting perfectly good pizza rolls. 464 00:17:06,143 --> 00:17:07,126 Babe, no, what is it? 465 00:17:07,219 --> 00:17:08,552 The peppermint bark didn't work. 466 00:17:08,571 --> 00:17:11,221 I know you're mad at me, but-but-but... 467 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,315 Whatever it is, it's gonna be okay. 468 00:17:13,409 --> 00:17:16,410 Let me get some pizza rolls out of the trash for you. 469 00:17:20,566 --> 00:17:22,641 Well, I'm the worst mayor Lone Moose has ever had. 470 00:17:22,660 --> 00:17:25,086 That's my final declaration as mayor. 471 00:17:25,313 --> 00:17:26,495 That I'm the worst. 472 00:17:26,647 --> 00:17:28,405 Sweetie, I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. 473 00:17:28,424 --> 00:17:30,149 We've had some pretty bad mayors. 474 00:17:30,167 --> 00:17:32,668 Mayor Hornby ate three of his constituents. 475 00:17:32,820 --> 00:17:33,743 Now, what's going on? 476 00:17:33,838 --> 00:17:35,245 If I tell you, can you promise 477 00:17:35,264 --> 00:17:36,580 not to say "I told you so"? 478 00:17:36,674 --> 00:17:37,823 Can I silently mouth it? 479 00:17:37,842 --> 00:17:39,325 Wait, no, no, no, no, go ahead. 480 00:17:39,418 --> 00:17:40,672 Well, you know how Whippleton declared war? 481 00:17:40,752 --> 00:17:43,679 - Yep. - Well, apparently the treaty says 482 00:17:43,773 --> 00:17:45,755 that if they declare war, Ted's Folly has to, too. 483 00:17:45,775 --> 00:17:48,776 And I accidentally sort of on purpose 484 00:17:48,927 --> 00:17:50,669 made public drinking and public nudity 485 00:17:50,688 --> 00:17:53,188 and public singing and hunting moose in town legal, 486 00:17:53,282 --> 00:17:55,265 and I didn't know people would, you know... 487 00:17:55,434 --> 00:17:56,597 Take advantage of it? 488 00:17:56,677 --> 00:17:58,452 I've always been good at being popular, 489 00:17:58,679 --> 00:18:00,696 but I guess that's different than being powerful. 490 00:18:00,790 --> 00:18:02,014 I just was having fun 491 00:18:02,107 --> 00:18:03,866 being in charge and making decisions. 492 00:18:04,018 --> 00:18:05,108 'Cause my dad never let me. 493 00:18:05,277 --> 00:18:07,327 So then, when I was correcting you, it just... 494 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,688 Reminded me of that. And made me... 495 00:18:09,707 --> 00:18:11,114 Mad. Aw, Honeybee, 496 00:18:11,208 --> 00:18:13,617 I'm so sorry for being such a bossy bag of butts today. 497 00:18:13,636 --> 00:18:15,861 Honestly, I was just jealous that you were mayor. 498 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,305 But you know what? I don't care if you're the town's favorite 499 00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:20,123 as long as I'm still your favorite. 500 00:18:20,217 --> 00:18:21,958 Of course you are. And I'm sorry, too. 501 00:18:21,978 --> 00:18:23,552 Some of your ideas were really great, 502 00:18:23,704 --> 00:18:25,888 even if how you said them sucked pinecones. 503 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,314 So, are we back to good? 504 00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,541 Of course. I mean, I'm a little annoyed 505 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,210 about the peppermint bark supply, 506 00:18:31,228 --> 00:18:33,654 which you know is impossible to get April through August, 507 00:18:33,805 --> 00:18:34,822 even on the dark web. 508 00:18:34,973 --> 00:18:36,824 I know. I guess I'll head back 509 00:18:36,975 --> 00:18:38,659 to town hall and undo all my doings. 510 00:18:38,886 --> 00:18:39,898 I will no longer be popular, 511 00:18:39,978 --> 00:18:41,570 - but it's the right thing. - No way. 512 00:18:41,647 --> 00:18:43,906 I know someone who's already not popular 513 00:18:44,058 --> 00:18:45,649 and pretty ready to make everybody mad. 514 00:18:45,743 --> 00:18:48,060 - Dane Cook? - Well, yes, probably him too, 515 00:18:48,153 --> 00:18:49,395 but I'm talking about me. 516 00:18:49,413 --> 00:18:51,897 I hereby use my authority as interim mayor 517 00:18:51,990 --> 00:18:53,565 to name Wolf Tobin 518 00:18:53,659 --> 00:18:55,992 as Lone Moose's "temporary" interim mayor. 519 00:18:56,012 --> 00:18:57,994 There's a new, newer mayor in town 520 00:18:58,088 --> 00:19:00,681 and he's about to flex his "no" muscle. 521 00:19:02,018 --> 00:19:04,185 I may not be as popular as my beloved wife, 522 00:19:04,370 --> 00:19:05,911 and no, I was not elected, 523 00:19:05,930 --> 00:19:07,246 nor do I have your confidence... 524 00:19:07,264 --> 00:19:09,172 - I like you! - Thanks, Dad. 525 00:19:09,192 --> 00:19:10,766 - You look amazing. - I know. 526 00:19:10,918 --> 00:19:12,267 But I am here to fix stuff. 527 00:19:12,420 --> 00:19:13,843 So, listen up, Lone Moose. 528 00:19:13,938 --> 00:19:15,696 Here in my hand I hold all of the bills 529 00:19:15,847 --> 00:19:18,682 that your favorite mayor, Honeybee Shaw, signed today. 530 00:19:18,776 --> 00:19:23,353 I am now revoking all statutes passed today by executive order. 531 00:19:23,372 --> 00:19:25,781 So, holster your arrows, pack up your bar, 532 00:19:25,875 --> 00:19:28,617 cover your butt cheeks, and disconnect your karaoke machine. 533 00:19:28,769 --> 00:19:30,633 What about your sandwich you left in the fridge? 534 00:19:30,713 --> 00:19:33,547 Care to revoke that, too? It's starting to stink. 535 00:19:33,699 --> 00:19:36,108 Gwen, please, first, I need to put an end 536 00:19:36,126 --> 00:19:37,251 to this senseless bloodshed. 537 00:19:37,403 --> 00:19:39,369 Ted's Folly's army, you're with us. 538 00:19:39,463 --> 00:19:41,947 I'm glad we're all friends again. 539 00:19:41,966 --> 00:19:43,557 Ew. Why is your hand so wet? 540 00:19:43,709 --> 00:19:46,785 I wish I knew, Shanice. I wish I knew. 541 00:19:46,804 --> 00:19:48,044 - Group hug? - Touch me 542 00:19:48,064 --> 00:19:50,213 and I'll have you arrested for war crimes. 543 00:19:50,307 --> 00:19:52,233 One respectful nod it is. 544 00:19:52,384 --> 00:19:54,718 Thank you for your loyal service, 545 00:19:54,812 --> 00:19:56,386 Temporary Interim Mayor Wolf. 546 00:19:56,405 --> 00:19:57,887 It was my honor, Your Honor. 547 00:19:57,940 --> 00:19:59,556 Lone Moose may not like me right now, 548 00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:02,651 but I know one person here who loves me. 549 00:20:02,803 --> 00:20:04,483 Look, I know you don't need me to save you, 550 00:20:04,563 --> 00:20:06,488 but I sure like helping you from time to time. 551 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,974 Well, there's no one I'd rather have save me than you. 552 00:20:08,993 --> 00:20:10,325 Unless it's a drowning situation, 553 00:20:10,478 --> 00:20:11,674 in which case I'm going Aquaman, 554 00:20:11,754 --> 00:20:13,236 then The Rock, then that whale 555 00:20:13,256 --> 00:20:15,238 - that played Willy, if he's free. - He is now. 556 00:20:15,258 --> 00:20:16,665 All right, let's head home. 557 00:20:16,817 --> 00:20:18,317 The peppermint bark may be gone, 558 00:20:18,335 --> 00:20:19,651 but I think we still have some 559 00:20:19,703 --> 00:20:21,487 potato-shaped holiday novelty chocolates 560 00:20:21,505 --> 00:20:23,505 from St. Patrick's Day to dig into. 561 00:20:23,657 --> 00:20:25,491 How about you dig into this soggy hoagie? 562 00:20:25,584 --> 00:20:27,676 Since you can't remember to take it home, 563 00:20:27,770 --> 00:20:30,145 you can wear it home, Wolf. 564 00:20:37,262 --> 00:20:39,446 - Honeybee, you saved me. - Did I? 565 00:20:39,598 --> 00:20:41,523 God, there's sauce everywhere! 566 00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:43,058 Shh. Just rest now. 567 00:20:43,210 --> 00:20:45,010 You two are so flipping weird. 568 00:20:45,103 --> 00:20:47,070 I'm going towards the light. 569 00:20:47,123 --> 00:20:48,289 Don't you die on me! 570 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,106 I'm leaving. Lock up when you go. 571 00:20:50,126 --> 00:20:51,533 You got it, Gwen. 572 00:21:28,575 --> 00:21:30,575 >>>>oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org 41377

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