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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,809 --> 00:00:13,261 Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce our guest of honour, 2 00:00:13,285 --> 00:00:17,858 one of Walmington-on-Sea's most distinguished citizens. 3 00:00:17,882 --> 00:00:24,534 A banker, soldier, magistrate and secretary of the Rotary Club. 4 00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:27,892 A good fellow all round. 5 00:00:27,916 --> 00:00:31,770 Ladies and gentlemen, Alderman George Mainwaring. 6 00:00:35,912 --> 00:00:40,325 Mr Chairman, Mr Town Clerk, ladies and gentlemen, 7 00:00:40,349 --> 00:00:44,402 when I was first invited to be guest of honour tonight, 8 00:00:44,426 --> 00:00:50,799 at the launching of Walmington-on-Sea's "I'm Backing Britain" campaign, 9 00:00:50,823 --> 00:00:53,517 I accepted without hesitation. 10 00:00:53,541 --> 00:00:56,195 - I - have always backed Britain. 11 00:00:56,219 --> 00:00:59,513 "Here, here!" 12 00:00:59,537 --> 00:01:02,352 I got into the habit of it in 1940, 13 00:01:02,376 --> 00:01:05,670 but THEN, we ALL backed Britain. 14 00:01:05,694 --> 00:01:09,587 It was the darkest hour in our history. 15 00:01:09,611 --> 00:01:14,704 The odds were absurdly against us, but, young and old, we stood there, 16 00:01:14,728 --> 00:01:19,781 defiant, determined to survive, to recover and, finally, to win. 17 00:01:19,805 --> 00:01:21,900 Here, here! 18 00:01:21,924 --> 00:01:26,281 The news was desperate, but our spirits were always high. 19 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:32,973 # Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler 20 00:01:32,997 --> 00:01:37,211 # If you think we're on the run? 21 00:01:37,235 --> 00:01:42,927 # We are the boys who will stop your little game 22 00:01:42,951 --> 00:01:48,044 # We are the boys who will make you think again 23 00:01:48,068 --> 00:01:52,761 # Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler 24 00:01:52,785 --> 00:01:57,079 # If you think old England's done? 25 00:01:57,103 --> 00:02:02,356 # Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21 26 00:02:02,380 --> 00:02:07,952 # But he comes home each evening and he's ready with his gun 27 00:02:07,976 --> 00:02:12,989 # So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler 28 00:02:13,013 --> 00:02:16,771 # If you think old England's done? # 29 00:02:22,687 --> 00:02:27,700 'The massive Nazi war machine is pushing its way across Europe, 30 00:02:27,724 --> 00:02:32,801 'laying waste neutral countries with a savagery unmatched in history. 31 00:02:40,357 --> 00:02:43,371 'When Hitler comes up against British troops, 32 00:02:43,395 --> 00:02:45,450 'it's a different story. 33 00:02:45,474 --> 00:02:50,367 'They fight him every inch of the way, giving as good as they get. 34 00:02:50,391 --> 00:02:55,204 'Is Tommy Atkins downhearted? We'll say he's not! 35 00:02:55,228 --> 00:02:59,881 'Why should he be with a leader like this? 36 00:02:59,905 --> 00:03:07,077 'To make Tommy's task more difficult, a new menace has been added to an already brutal struggle. 37 00:03:07,101 --> 00:03:11,434 'Parachutists trained to sabotage lines of communication. 38 00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:18,110 'And who knows? Even our own shores may not long be spared this, Hitler's latest trick. 39 00:03:18,134 --> 00:03:20,309 'We all have our part to play. 40 00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:23,771 'Every effort is being made to confuse the enemy.' 41 00:03:40,761 --> 00:03:45,934 'So look out, Adolf. Every day, our defences are strengthened. 42 00:03:45,958 --> 00:03:50,491 'And if they do come, let's give them a sharp welcome.' 43 00:03:59,909 --> 00:04:02,484 Ah, going home, are they? 44 00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:07,161 - Sir! - Well done, Pike. By Jove, these things are heavy. 45 00:04:07,185 --> 00:04:12,158 The sand's wet, sir. If the tide had been out, it would have been easier. 46 00:04:12,182 --> 00:04:19,513 - They'll do. Don't take so long the next time. - That's not my fault, sir. I had to pick the shrimps out. 47 00:04:19,537 --> 00:04:22,432 Ah, Mr Wilson. On there, please. 48 00:04:22,456 --> 00:04:27,668 It's a reasonable field of fire. It covers most of the High Street. 49 00:04:27,692 --> 00:04:32,466 Oh, yes, I think we can happily say that Jerry's parachutists 50 00:04:32,490 --> 00:04:37,423 will be dead as mutton from Stead And Simpson's to Timothy White's. 51 00:04:37,447 --> 00:04:42,180 We'd see the pavilion if that woman would get out of the phone box. 52 00:04:42,204 --> 00:04:45,578 It's Mrs Hoskins calling her sister. 53 00:04:45,602 --> 00:04:50,495 Let's hope Hitler stays his hand till Mrs Hoskins gets the pips. 54 00:04:50,519 --> 00:04:52,853 And until we get a machine gun. 55 00:04:52,877 --> 00:04:57,810 - Last one, sir. - They're not high enough. - There's no more sand, sir. 56 00:04:57,834 --> 00:05:05,526 - There's a beach full of it. - The tide's in! The water's up to here. It went over my mum's wellingtons. 57 00:05:05,550 --> 00:05:08,604 Your mum's wellingtons are of little consequence 58 00:05:08,628 --> 00:05:11,003 when Europe is writhing under the Nazi heel. 59 00:05:11,027 --> 00:05:12,921 Mum won't see it like that. 60 00:05:12,945 --> 00:05:17,758 - We could get some more sand at low tide. - Time is not on our side. 61 00:05:17,782 --> 00:05:20,357 How much copper have we got? 62 00:05:20,381 --> 00:05:25,354 - Copper? - Yes, copper, pennies. - About ten £5 bags. - Go get 'em, Pike. 63 00:05:25,378 --> 00:05:28,392 Lay them out along here. 64 00:05:28,416 --> 00:05:34,908 I don't think we ought to do that, sir. It'll cause a penny shortage. It'll be inconvenient. 65 00:05:34,932 --> 00:05:40,305 - They'll have to bear it. There's a war on! - Head Office won't like it. 66 00:05:40,329 --> 00:05:43,103 This is no time for red tape. 67 00:05:43,127 --> 00:05:48,020 At any moment, hordes of German parachutists may drop on us. 68 00:05:48,044 --> 00:05:55,136 They use disguises. They could come dressed as nuns, set up in that church and you'd never notice. 69 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:59,158 - I - would, sir. That's the Methodist chapel. 70 00:06:00,637 --> 00:06:03,291 - Two bags, sir. - Ah, well done, Pike. 71 00:06:03,315 --> 00:06:10,047 The cashier says shall we open an account in your name and give you an overdraft? 72 00:06:10,071 --> 00:06:12,566 I'll talk to him later. 73 00:06:12,590 --> 00:06:17,003 - See who that is, Wilson. - Yes, sir. 74 00:06:17,027 --> 00:06:24,438 - Pike, take this paper, lick it, and stick it in crosses on the windows. - It's an Army dispatch rider, sir. 75 00:06:24,462 --> 00:06:28,636 - He's got a packet. - Poor devil. Was it a sniper? 76 00:06:28,660 --> 00:06:33,633 - It's for you, sir. - Ooh, ah! This is the moment I've been waiting for. 77 00:06:33,657 --> 00:06:36,271 Pipped them to the post, did I? 78 00:06:36,295 --> 00:06:41,428 I sent a letter to GHQ, asking for instructions in case of an invasion. 79 00:06:41,452 --> 00:06:46,465 - I told them I'd served in the last conflict. - The Orkneys, wasn't it? 80 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:53,461 I was a commissioned officer, Wilson, and I served in France... during the whole of 1919. 81 00:06:53,485 --> 00:06:58,538 - Yes, but the war ended in 1918! - Somebody had to clear up the mess. 82 00:06:58,562 --> 00:07:03,495 - Where were you during the war? - Mons, Gallipoli. I was a sergeant. 83 00:07:03,519 --> 00:07:05,934 Never mind that now. 84 00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:10,931 "Dear Sir, In view of the danger of enemy parachutists landing, 85 00:07:10,955 --> 00:07:16,487 "a force of local volunteers will be formed to guard strategic points. 86 00:07:16,511 --> 00:07:20,925 "This force will be the Local Defence Volunteers." 87 00:07:20,949 --> 00:07:23,483 - Miss King? - It's Anthony Eden! 88 00:07:23,507 --> 00:07:27,585 - In person? - On the wireless. They say it's important. 89 00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:41,992 'We want large numbers of such men in Great Britain, who are British subjects, 90 00:07:42,016 --> 00:07:46,269 'between the ages of 17 and 65 - 17 and 65. 91 00:07:46,293 --> 00:07:52,226 'The name of the new force will be the Local Defence Volunteers. 92 00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:56,663 'This name describes its duties in three words. 93 00:07:56,687 --> 00:08:02,899 'Here, then, is the opportunity for which so many of you have been waiting. 94 00:08:02,923 --> 00:08:07,577 'Your loyal help will make and keep our country safe.' 95 00:08:07,601 --> 00:08:12,134 Right! Let's go to it! Back to work, Miss King. 96 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:16,171 We've got to set up an invasion committee. 97 00:08:16,195 --> 00:08:22,927 - Pike! - Yes, sir? - Whatever's the matter, boy? - I feel sick, sir, licking all this paper. 98 00:08:22,951 --> 00:08:27,005 Now listen, we three are the invasion committee. 99 00:08:27,029 --> 00:08:34,041 - We appoint a properly appointed commander. - A what, sir? - Appoint a properly appointed commander - me. 100 00:08:34,065 --> 00:08:37,039 - ..All right? - All right. 101 00:08:37,063 --> 00:08:41,236 - You will be my second in command. - Thank you, sir. 102 00:08:41,260 --> 00:08:46,034 What next? Means of conveying information to the public. 103 00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:50,271 An information officer will be appointed. Pike, that's you. 104 00:08:50,295 --> 00:08:55,308 The information officer will be supplied with a megaphone. ..Oh. 105 00:08:55,332 --> 00:08:57,667 Ah! 106 00:08:57,691 --> 00:09:00,545 - Hold that, Wilson. - Yes, of course. 107 00:09:00,569 --> 00:09:02,743 Like that? 108 00:09:02,767 --> 00:09:07,285 You'll find that improvisation is the keynote to... 109 00:09:08,324 --> 00:09:10,899 - ..success. - Well done, sir. 110 00:09:10,923 --> 00:09:13,657 There's your megaphone, lad. 111 00:09:13,681 --> 00:09:20,213 You're to jump on your bicycle and go round the town delivering this message. 112 00:09:20,237 --> 00:09:26,449 "All local defence volunteers, report to the church hall at 6pm." Try that. 113 00:09:26,473 --> 00:09:28,848 (All defence...) 114 00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:31,606 Oh, come here. Let me show you. 115 00:09:40,625 --> 00:09:43,303 There we are. 116 00:09:45,622 --> 00:09:48,316 I don't know how you do it. 117 00:09:48,340 --> 00:09:51,154 History repeats itself, Wilson. 118 00:09:51,178 --> 00:09:56,631 Times of peril bring great men to the fore. Wellington, Churchill... 119 00:09:56,655 --> 00:09:59,853 - Al Jolson. - Al J... 120 00:10:09,647 --> 00:10:12,382 # There's a boy coming home on leave 121 00:10:12,406 --> 00:10:15,780 # There's a girl wants him home on leave... # 122 00:10:15,804 --> 00:10:18,818 The meeting was for 6. It's 6.20. 123 00:10:18,842 --> 00:10:22,855 I could have had time for a round of golf... 124 00:10:22,879 --> 00:10:27,573 - Excuse me. - Do you mind? We're waiting for the appointed commander. 125 00:10:27,597 --> 00:10:31,650 - I am the appointed commander. - Oh, sorry. 126 00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:34,329 Ah, there you are, sir. 127 00:10:34,353 --> 00:10:39,366 - Did you get the enrolment forms? - No. - Had the police station run out? 128 00:10:39,390 --> 00:10:45,602 - I would have had to put in an application form. - Why didn't you? - They'd run out. - Oh. 129 00:10:45,626 --> 00:10:52,638 - I got those, however. - Paying-in forms? - Don't keep putting obstacles in the way. Get the first man in. 130 00:10:52,662 --> 00:10:56,875 Would you mind stepping this way, please? 131 00:10:56,899 --> 00:10:59,697 - Wilson, come here. - What, sir? 132 00:11:01,696 --> 00:11:03,871 I intend to mould those men out there 133 00:11:03,895 --> 00:11:06,549 into an aggressive fighting unit. 134 00:11:06,573 --> 00:11:11,106 I'll lead them, command them, inspire them to be ruthless killers. 135 00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:15,784 I won't get very far if you invite them to step this way! 136 00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:18,502 - It's quick march! - Quick march! 137 00:11:18,526 --> 00:11:21,420 Not much point. I'm here already. 138 00:11:21,444 --> 00:11:24,259 - Name? - James Fraser. 139 00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:28,376 - Occupation? - I keep a philatelist's shop. 140 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,775 How do you spell that? 141 00:11:30,799 --> 00:11:37,331 S... Thank you very much I imagine you've not had previous Army experience. 142 00:11:37,355 --> 00:11:41,648 - No! - We can tell. Once a soldier, always a soldier. 143 00:11:41,672 --> 00:11:47,964 I'm a sailor. Chief Petty Officer, Royal Navy - retired. 144 00:11:47,988 --> 00:11:50,347 Sign there. 145 00:11:51,346 --> 00:11:54,001 Are you swearing? 146 00:11:54,025 --> 00:11:59,677 - I never said a word. - You Army types. Swearing an oath of allegiance! 147 00:11:59,701 --> 00:12:04,395 Oh...yes, yes, of course. We'll do that later. Wait outside. 148 00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:07,473 The Boys' Brigade isnae in it 149 00:12:07,497 --> 00:12:13,509 - Watch that man. - Yes, sir. - Bolshy Jack Tars. - I agree. - Next man. - Right. 150 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:17,627 Next one, please. All right, quick march! 151 00:12:17,651 --> 00:12:19,905 ..Halt. 152 00:12:19,929 --> 00:12:22,504 - How do you do? - How d...? 153 00:12:22,528 --> 00:12:24,702 Name? 154 00:12:24,726 --> 00:12:27,381 Godfrey - Charles Godfrey. 155 00:12:27,405 --> 00:12:32,098 - Occupation? - Retired, but I was 25 years in the Civil Service. 156 00:12:32,122 --> 00:12:36,159 - Really? Indian or British? - Civil Service Stores. 157 00:12:38,198 --> 00:12:41,212 Any previous military experience? 158 00:12:41,236 --> 00:12:45,970 I was in the sports department. That meant archery and air guns. 159 00:12:45,994 --> 00:12:50,887 Yes, well, no doubt your specialist knowledge will be of great use. 160 00:12:50,911 --> 00:12:53,669 - Sign there, would you? - I'd love to! 161 00:12:55,788 --> 00:12:58,482 - Is that all? - For the moment. 162 00:12:58,506 --> 00:13:04,199 - Don't I get a receipt? - This is a fighting unit, not a dry-cleaner's! 163 00:13:04,223 --> 00:13:07,597 Do that, would you, please? 164 00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:13,257 I'm sorry. Right turn! Quick march! And just bear round to the right. 165 00:13:15,576 --> 00:13:18,150 - Evening, gents! - Name? 166 00:13:18,174 --> 00:13:20,573 My card. 167 00:13:22,332 --> 00:13:24,986 "Joe Walker, wholesale supplier." 168 00:13:25,010 --> 00:13:29,783 I suppose you won't be with us long. You'll be called up any day. 169 00:13:29,807 --> 00:13:34,101 Oh, no, guv. I'm whatsitsname? Reserved occupation. 170 00:13:34,125 --> 00:13:38,458 - How do you work that out? - I supply central supplies. 171 00:13:38,482 --> 00:13:43,375 - Any previous military experience? - A girlfriend in the ATS! - Sign here. 172 00:13:43,399 --> 00:13:48,972 Oh, by the way, any time you gents require anything, just give us a tip. 173 00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:53,569 - We'll bear it in mind. - Right turn! Quick march! - Pardon? 174 00:13:53,593 --> 00:13:58,350 - Right turn! Quick march! - You might wait for the ink to dry! 175 00:13:59,709 --> 00:14:06,561 Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, halt, stand at ease! 176 00:14:06,585 --> 00:14:10,079 Evening, Mr Mainwaring, Mr Wilson. You know me. 177 00:14:10,103 --> 00:14:14,037 - Mr Jones the butcher! - That's right, sir! 178 00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:18,794 - Isn't Mr Jones a little old? - Old?! Who are you calling old?! 179 00:14:18,818 --> 00:14:22,871 Let me at those Jerry parachutists. I'll sort them out. 180 00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:29,108 - Keenness counts, not age. - I'm as keen as mustard. - Any previous military experience? 181 00:14:29,132 --> 00:14:33,945 Now you're talking. I signed on as a drummer boy in 1884. 182 00:14:33,969 --> 00:14:38,822 Later, I saw service in the Sudan, fought the fuzzy-wuzzies. 183 00:14:38,846 --> 00:14:44,562 Their great long knives zip you open. They soon know if you've got guts. 184 00:14:46,361 --> 00:14:51,574 The fuzzy-wuzzies were the only ones that could break the British square. 185 00:14:51,598 --> 00:14:55,412 Those Jerries couldn't break the skin off a rice pudding. 186 00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:59,649 They don't like the cold steel. They don't like it up 'em... 187 00:14:59,673 --> 00:15:01,049 Get him a chair, Wilson. 188 00:15:01,073 --> 00:15:05,726 - Do sit down, Mr Jones. - They don't like it, you see. 189 00:15:05,750 --> 00:15:09,723 Thank you, sir. I'm not as young as I was. 190 00:15:09,747 --> 00:15:14,401 But that won't stop me being in there with bayonets, cold steel... 191 00:15:14,425 --> 00:15:19,477 - I think you've made your point. Sign there. - Certainly, sir. 192 00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:22,140 When did you leave the Army? 193 00:15:23,739 --> 00:15:28,112 1915, sir! I was invalided out, sir. The old minces. 194 00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:32,614 - I couldn't focus. - Presumably that's why you signed the table. 195 00:15:34,772 --> 00:15:37,307 I beg your pardon, sir. 196 00:15:37,331 --> 00:15:40,065 Right. Thank you, Mr Jones. 197 00:15:40,089 --> 00:15:42,744 - Oh, sir? - Yes? - There's... 198 00:15:42,768 --> 00:15:48,940 - There's a couple of pounds of steak, sir. Compliments of the house. - Oh! 199 00:15:48,964 --> 00:15:53,537 - By the way, sir, what about my stripe? - Your stripe? 200 00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:58,654 - I was a lance corporal for 14 years. Can I keep it? - I'm afraid you can't. 201 00:15:58,678 --> 00:16:01,772 In that case, I'll keep the steak. 202 00:16:01,796 --> 00:16:04,514 Let's not be too hasty about this. 203 00:16:05,794 --> 00:16:08,568 - We shall be needing NCOs. - Yes, sir. 204 00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:13,845 Jones's previous experience could stand us in very good steak...stead. 205 00:16:13,869 --> 00:16:18,282 - Oh, yes. - Right. That's all...Lance Corporal Jones. 206 00:16:18,306 --> 00:16:22,320 Thank you, sir! Well, TTFN. About turn! 207 00:16:22,344 --> 00:16:25,478 Left, right, left, right, left... 208 00:16:25,502 --> 00:16:28,436 Can I do you now, sir? 209 00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:32,394 Yes, very good, very funny. Awfully good. 210 00:16:32,418 --> 00:16:35,072 Oh, we'll share this later. 211 00:16:37,775 --> 00:16:42,907 - Who's in charge here? - I am. Why? - Get this hall cleared out at once. 212 00:16:42,931 --> 00:16:49,623 - History is taking place in there. - In five minutes, an ARP lecture is taking place in this hall! 213 00:16:49,647 --> 00:16:54,700 - I'll requisition this hall for military purposes. - Too late, mate. 214 00:16:54,724 --> 00:16:59,937 It's already been requisitioned for the civil defence. Get them out. 215 00:16:59,961 --> 00:17:04,135 - You're asking the Army to retreat? - You've had practice! 216 00:17:04,159 --> 00:17:09,172 - Stop. - We don't want to get excited. I've got my job and you've got yours. 217 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:15,848 If you want to carry on in this office, fine, but get this lot out quick sharp! 218 00:17:15,872 --> 00:17:23,003 - We've only enrolled four. - We'll have to dispense with formalities. Get them all in here. 219 00:17:23,027 --> 00:17:26,361 - Right, come on! - At the double. 220 00:17:26,385 --> 00:17:29,959 All right, gather round. 221 00:17:29,983 --> 00:17:32,622 Quickly, please. We all in? 222 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:39,513 Now, men, you answered your country's call today. 223 00:17:39,537 --> 00:17:46,229 We're all here to defend our homes and our loved ones. I know you will not shirk that duty. 224 00:17:46,253 --> 00:17:51,226 With no guns, we are naked, but we have one invaluable weapon - 225 00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:55,328 - ingenuity and improvisation. - That's two. 226 00:17:56,327 --> 00:17:59,062 I want you all to go to your homes, 227 00:17:59,086 --> 00:18:04,019 gather what weapons you can and come back here in an hour's time. 228 00:18:04,043 --> 00:18:08,096 From tonight, whatever the odds, we Englishmen... 229 00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:10,495 we British... 230 00:18:10,519 --> 00:18:13,493 we here are going to be able to say, 231 00:18:13,517 --> 00:18:17,691 "Come on, Jerry, we're waiting for you!" 232 00:18:17,715 --> 00:18:20,329 Don't forget gas masks. Dismissed. 233 00:18:20,353 --> 00:18:25,686 # Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye 234 00:18:25,710 --> 00:18:29,428 # Cheerio, here I go, on my way... # 235 00:18:30,987 --> 00:18:33,665 Squad, attention! 236 00:18:34,664 --> 00:18:37,423 Try to get it right. Stand at ease! 237 00:18:38,902 --> 00:18:41,300 Attention! 238 00:18:42,540 --> 00:18:47,257 All right, sir. The men are all ready for your inspection. 239 00:18:49,735 --> 00:18:52,310 Very smart, Corporal. 240 00:18:52,334 --> 00:18:55,588 ..What's that supposed to be, boy? 241 00:18:55,612 --> 00:19:00,425 - You said tie a knife to a broom handle. - I didn't say keep the brush! 242 00:19:00,449 --> 00:19:05,262 - You should've said! - Insubordination. Take his name, Sergeant. - Name? 243 00:19:05,286 --> 00:19:10,403 YOU should know. You've been my mum's friend since before I was born. 244 00:19:12,122 --> 00:19:14,640 Well, see it doesn't happen again. 245 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:21,053 - Where did you get that gun? - Eh? - THE GUN, where did you get it? 246 00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:25,794 - It belongs to my friend, actually. - I see... 247 00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:32,046 - He's got a friend...a gun! - Yes, I can see that, sir. 248 00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:38,802 - I'm the officer. - Yes. - You're the sergeant. - Yes. - We ought to have that. - I agree. - Ask him for it. 249 00:19:38,826 --> 00:19:43,159 - It would have more authority coming from you. - No. - Right. 250 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:45,758 Um, excuse me... 251 00:19:45,782 --> 00:19:50,515 - Mr Mainwaring would rather like your rifle. - Who? - Captain Mainwaring. 252 00:19:50,539 --> 00:19:54,433 - He can't have it. - Godfrey, hand over that gun. 253 00:19:54,457 --> 00:19:58,830 - Why should I? - Are you refusing to obey an order? 254 00:19:58,854 --> 00:20:01,388 We could have you shot for this. 255 00:20:01,412 --> 00:20:04,730 Tricky. He's the one with the gun! 256 00:20:05,930 --> 00:20:10,223 - Permission to speak, sir! - Permission granted, Corporal. 257 00:20:10,247 --> 00:20:15,260 - Why don't we take it in turns to have the gun, sir? - Excellent idea! 258 00:20:15,284 --> 00:20:18,658 - Draw up a rota. Put my name at the top. - Well done. 259 00:20:18,682 --> 00:20:23,759 - That's looks formidable. - I pull him in with that then gie him that. 260 00:20:27,517 --> 00:20:30,131 You needn't have bothered to dress. 261 00:20:30,155 --> 00:20:35,208 As a matter of fact, it's my wife's birthday. We're going out for dinner. 262 00:20:35,232 --> 00:20:39,525 - Do you think you'll be long? - That depends on Jerry. 263 00:20:39,549 --> 00:20:44,483 - We don't want to interfere with... social arrangements. - It's all right. 264 00:20:44,507 --> 00:20:47,880 - We haven't really been introduced. - No. 265 00:20:47,904 --> 00:20:53,117 - May I introduce Captain Mainwaring? I didn't catch your name... - Wilson! 266 00:20:53,141 --> 00:20:58,354 - What are you doing? - I don't know. I thought he might ask me too. - Oi! 267 00:20:58,378 --> 00:21:01,073 - Your wife's birthday today? - Yes. 268 00:21:01,097 --> 00:21:04,111 - Got her a present? - I haven't had time. 269 00:21:04,135 --> 00:21:06,533 Hang on. ..Hold that, Taffy. 270 00:21:07,932 --> 00:21:09,747 Anything there you fancy? 271 00:21:09,771 --> 00:21:11,986 I say! 272 00:21:12,010 --> 00:21:16,583 There's a nice little thing. 15 jewels, 18 carat, Swiss-made. 273 00:21:16,607 --> 00:21:19,022 Ten quid and it's yours. 274 00:21:19,046 --> 00:21:24,339 - That's extraordinarily generous of you. Thank you very much. - Ta. 275 00:21:24,363 --> 00:21:27,417 Can I interest you? ..Thought not. 276 00:21:27,441 --> 00:21:29,975 Squad, stand at ease! Stand easy. 277 00:21:29,999 --> 00:21:32,574 Splendid turnout, men. Splendid. 278 00:21:32,598 --> 00:21:37,491 If in one hour, we can achieve this formidable fighting potential, 279 00:21:37,515 --> 00:21:41,808 think what we could do with a week's training. 280 00:21:41,832 --> 00:21:46,365 - GHQ are rushing weapons and uniforms down here. - That's good! 281 00:21:46,389 --> 00:21:51,202 Meanwhile, time is not on our side. The enemy may strike tonight. 282 00:21:51,226 --> 00:21:58,342 - We must learn how to deal with it. Squat on the floor. - At the double! - How can they squat at the double? 283 00:22:03,339 --> 00:22:05,474 Now... 284 00:22:05,498 --> 00:22:10,591 Sgt Wilson has kindly drawn this representation of a German tank. 285 00:22:10,615 --> 00:22:17,427 I want you to observe the following points. Heavy armour at the front, usually four inch plating. 286 00:22:17,451 --> 00:22:22,824 40, 50 or 60mm repeating canon here. Heavy machine guns here and here. 287 00:22:22,848 --> 00:22:26,261 Light machine guns here, here and here. 288 00:22:26,285 --> 00:22:30,499 High pressure flame-thrower here in the front. 289 00:22:30,523 --> 00:22:35,256 And I'm told on very good authority two hand grenade throwers. 290 00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:39,294 A formidable opponent, but we're going to tackle it. 291 00:22:39,318 --> 00:22:43,451 - The question is - how? - How about some sugar, sir? 292 00:22:43,475 --> 00:22:50,407 - Sugar? - Yes. - How would you use it? - Stick it in the petrol tank and the engine fizzles out. 293 00:22:50,431 --> 00:22:55,444 - I see. A very good idea. - Yes. Shall I apply for an extra sugar ration? 294 00:22:55,468 --> 00:22:59,841 Yes, if it doesn't work, we can put the rest in our tea. 295 00:22:59,865 --> 00:23:02,919 - How about some spuds? - Spuds?! 296 00:23:02,943 --> 00:23:10,395 Yes. You stuff one up the exhaust pipe and that stops gases coming out of the engine and the engine stops. 297 00:23:10,419 --> 00:23:12,794 I see. 298 00:23:12,818 --> 00:23:18,310 These Nazi tanks are equipped with very long, thin exhaust outlets. 299 00:23:18,334 --> 00:23:21,149 We could use long, thin spuds. 300 00:23:21,173 --> 00:23:24,586 - Charnock beauties are long and thin. - King Edwards. - What about a carrot? 301 00:23:24,610 --> 00:23:30,447 - Shall I order potatoes? - Yes. - If it doesn't work, we can have chips. 302 00:23:32,925 --> 00:23:38,538 Your suggestions have stimulated a very lively discussion, but today we'll concentrate on my methods. 303 00:23:38,562 --> 00:23:40,057 Now, here are the weapons. 304 00:23:40,081 --> 00:23:45,998 Blanket, tin of petrol, crowbar, petrol bombs and a box of matches. 305 00:23:47,877 --> 00:23:50,371 Now, this is the procedure. 306 00:23:50,395 --> 00:23:55,208 First of all, we take cover, concealing ourselves from the tank. 307 00:23:55,232 --> 00:23:59,885 - Here, here. - We hear the tank coming, and as it draws level, 308 00:23:59,909 --> 00:24:05,002 the first man soaks the blanket in petrol and rushes towards the tank. 309 00:24:05,026 --> 00:24:08,784 We need a tough, commando-like boy. Pike. 310 00:24:10,183 --> 00:24:14,996 The second man will light the matches and set fire to the blanket. 311 00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:19,354 - Sir, can I volunteer for that? - Very well, Corporal. 312 00:24:19,378 --> 00:24:23,831 - Do you think that's wise, sir? - ..All clear so far? 313 00:24:23,855 --> 00:24:28,788 Fraser, you'll prise open the lid of the tank with the crowbar. 314 00:24:28,812 --> 00:24:34,345 Walker will have bombs which will be pushed into the aperture. 315 00:24:34,369 --> 00:24:38,302 - Any questions? - What are you going to be doing? 316 00:24:38,326 --> 00:24:45,242 I shall be observing from behind cover and deciding whether or not to send in a second wave. 317 00:24:47,481 --> 00:24:54,453 Now, you must understand that the most important part of the whole operation is the decoy. 318 00:24:54,477 --> 00:25:02,128 It is essential that one man draws the attention and fire of the tank gunners to him and away from us. 319 00:25:02,152 --> 00:25:06,269 You'd better be the decoy. Bracewell - you, you. 320 00:25:07,309 --> 00:25:10,187 Let's try it. Get your weapons. 321 00:25:11,466 --> 00:25:16,200 Right, decoy, over here. You work over here in this corner. 322 00:25:16,224 --> 00:25:21,197 Godfrey, you're in charge of the tank at the other end of the room. 323 00:25:21,221 --> 00:25:25,634 Sgt Wilson will blow a whistle when we're ready. 324 00:25:25,658 --> 00:25:30,271 - Sarge, can I put the petrol on now? - This is a dummy run. 325 00:25:30,295 --> 00:25:33,749 Stand by! 326 00:25:33,773 --> 00:25:36,507 I-I say! 327 00:25:36,531 --> 00:25:40,465 That's no good! Draw their fire. Do it again. 328 00:25:40,489 --> 00:25:43,967 I-I say, you Fascist beasts! 329 00:25:45,366 --> 00:25:50,019 - Where's the blanket?! - Sorry, I didn't hear them coming. 330 00:25:50,043 --> 00:25:52,897 Start again, start again. 331 00:25:52,921 --> 00:25:57,455 This time, make a noise like a tank. 332 00:25:57,479 --> 00:26:00,357 - Vroom, vroom... - I say, you Fascist beasts! 333 00:26:01,836 --> 00:26:04,970 Blanket! ..Right, set fire to it! 334 00:26:04,994 --> 00:26:08,848 I can't get the matches to light, sir! 335 00:26:08,872 --> 00:26:16,004 - Wait a minute! Wait a minute! - Right, back to the start. Start again. 336 00:26:16,028 --> 00:26:17,427 Here we are, sir. 337 00:26:20,545 --> 00:26:22,320 Pike, take charge of the matches. 338 00:26:22,344 --> 00:26:26,357 - All right, sir? - I'll have the blanket, sir. 339 00:26:28,700 --> 00:26:30,235 Vroom, vroom, vroom... 340 00:26:30,259 --> 00:26:33,153 # We're going to hang out the washing on the Siegfried Line... # 341 00:26:33,177 --> 00:26:35,496 Now, sir! 342 00:26:38,294 --> 00:26:41,388 Walker, get the bombs in! Pike, light the... 343 00:26:41,412 --> 00:26:44,267 FRANK! It's your bedtime! 344 00:26:44,291 --> 00:26:46,465 Mum, I'm blowing up a tank. 345 00:26:46,489 --> 00:26:49,224 You'll have to blow it up tomorrow. 346 00:26:49,248 --> 00:26:53,501 Arthur! I'm surprised at you. You know what time he goes to bed. 347 00:26:53,525 --> 00:26:54,820 Go along, Frank. 348 00:26:54,844 --> 00:26:57,363 - Yes, go along, Frank. - Mum! 349 00:26:59,042 --> 00:27:03,095 - Will you be round later, Arthur, for your usual? - Mavis... 350 00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,734 Please! Later. All right, fall in. 351 00:27:05,758 --> 00:27:09,252 A lorry! A lorry from GHQ, sir. 352 00:27:09,276 --> 00:27:13,969 Ah, this is it, men! Our weapons and uniforms have arrived. 353 00:27:13,993 --> 00:27:18,566 - Captain Mainwaring, sir! - Yes. - Just sign there, sir. 354 00:27:18,590 --> 00:27:23,443 - Sergeant, get the men to unload. - That won't be necessary, sir. 355 00:27:23,467 --> 00:27:26,122 Your uniforms and your weapons. 356 00:27:26,146 --> 00:27:33,541 - ..Thank you, sir. - Good Lord. Pepper. - Pepper?! - Pepper - enemy, for throwing in the face of. Five feet. 357 00:27:35,500 --> 00:27:43,031 Perhaps not quite what we expected, but every weapon in our armoury is another nail in the enemy's coffin. 358 00:27:43,055 --> 00:27:48,572 Hand out the armbands, Corporal. Sergeant, dish out the pepper. 359 00:27:52,210 --> 00:27:57,063 Have it with you always. If you see parachutists, let them have it. 360 00:27:57,087 --> 00:28:02,180 - That and the cold steel, sir. - That's the spirit. We're making progress. 361 00:28:02,204 --> 00:28:07,857 A short time ago, we were undisciplined. Now we can deal with tanks. 362 00:28:07,881 --> 00:28:12,574 We could kill with our pikes and make them sneeze with our pepper. 363 00:28:12,598 --> 00:28:17,851 Even the Hun is a poor fighter with his head buried in a handkerchief. 364 00:28:17,875 --> 00:28:22,728 But remember, men, we have one invaluable weapon on our side. 365 00:28:22,752 --> 00:28:25,486 We've an unbreakable spirit to win, 366 00:28:25,510 --> 00:28:32,042 a bulldog tenacity that will help us to hang on while there's breath left in our bodies. 367 00:28:32,066 --> 00:28:36,160 You don't get that with Gestapos and jackboots. 368 00:28:36,184 --> 00:28:38,758 You get that by being British. 369 00:28:38,782 --> 00:28:41,876 Come on, Adolf! We're ready for you. 33790

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