Original subtitles

(Транскрибовано за допомогою TurboScribe.ai. Оновити до Необмеженого, щоб прибрати це повідомлення.) Hello, welcome to my lecture, welcome to my

lecture, welcome to my lecture,

welcome

to my Where

is das Krankenhaus?

First of all, speak English.

You have to get rid of your accent.

You know, the Americans are going to hate

the Germans for a long time after this

war.

So you gotta start sounding like one of

them.

How did you get rid of your accent?

You know when babies are learning how to

speak to make those nonsense sounds?

Goo goo ga ga Yeah, that's not really

nonsense.

They're learning the sounds of their language.

An important step that adults skip when they're

learning a new language.

Oh, well I love when you use to

speak to me the baby talk.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

I thought you were more romantic than this.

We're on a tropical island.

Hey stupid, in case you haven't figured it

out by the corpse over there, we're on

an island full of cannibals.

It is obvious we are dealing with cannibals.

But do not be frightened by their enormous

numbers, because we have the enormous intellect of

the German brain.

Yes, but when we parachuted out of the

plane, the wind scattered us.

We have to find the rest and then

figure out some way to cross the sea

to Argentina.

Ocean.

Excuse me?

We were over the Atlantic Ocean.

It's not the Atlantic Sea.

Stop being a grammar Nazi.

In case you haven't figured it out by

that corpse over there, people are committing atrocities

on this island.

We have to focus on real things.

Oh, I love focusing on the real things.

Oh, this is because of my burned face,

isn't it?

I thought you loved me on the inside

as well as the outside.

Or even if the outside is terrible, you

love the inside.

The inside is so good for you.

Oh, I want to be on your inside.

I love being on your inside with my

outside.

You're the first I have seen.

Are any of the others with you?

I have not found anyone else.

I thought that I heard some gunshots, but

that could have been something else, like thunder.

We shall take care of some basic needs

first, and then we shall attempt to find

the others.

Speaking of basic needs, I must confess that

I always admired you from afar.

I look more like you admiring me from

a mirror.

English is not a good language for me

to tell you how I feel.

I do not care about your feelings.

We must concentrate on survival.

I am going to wash myself in the

lake.

Stay here and guard me.

I will do the same when it is

your turn.

There are no rules here.

I give you a chance to be mine

by your own choice.

Are you planning to rape me?

Rape happens in nature.

Some may call it cheating, but I look

at it as a way to save time.

I tried to hurt you properly.

It failed.

Meeting Richard was a waste.

I am too superior for these games.

You are inferior.

You need a gun to intimidate me.

Your confidence masks your weakness.

I am

high as a kite.

What an

atrocity!

How can some people be so depraved?

I think we should leave before the cannibals

return.

They might want to eat us too.

I cannot blame them because I want to

eat you.

How many times must I remind you that

I am conservative?

Oral sex is for primitive humans.

We proud Germans only use sex for procreation.

Oh, well sometimes pride gets in the way.

Oh, really?

Yes.

Do you remember when Spartacus trounced Roman armies

with his band of escaped gladiators?

No, I don't remember much past the day

that I was actually born.

Could you please not try to be humorous

when I'm telling you a serious story?

Please?

Alright, when Spartacus was kicking the buttocks of

the Roman armies, he could not be stopped

until the Germans in the 4th decided that

they were too good to fight alongside the

non-Germans.

And do you know what happened as a

result of that division?

Yes, of course I remember that day.

Oh, you're so cute when you're sarcastic.

Come here.

Come, come, come.

Finish the story, you pig.

Alright, when the Germans decided they did not

want to fight alongside the non-Germans, they

were promptly defeated, raped, and then killed to

death.

All of them.

Well, if you don't want the same thing

happening to us, then I suggest we get

going.

Oh, after you.

And please take your time.

You know, so I have something to look

at.

I mean, I'm looking out in case you

get hurt.

Oh, did the stones rip your dress off?

I didn't mean to guide you that way.

Even though I am dead, nothing

happens.

And nothing is free!

And nothing

is free!

None of your decisions are hostile to me.

I don't want the inevitable I don't want

the inevitable and experience the impossible.

I have never given a damn and I

don't give a damn about your decisions.