Original subtitles

[playful music playing]

[floorboard squeaking]

[music ends]

[Siaja] Hey, old man.

Still sneaking around, huh?

Morning, Siaja.

[sighs uncomfortably]

Hey, uh, do… do you want to get coffee sometime?

I just feel like you and I, we haven't really, like, hung out.

Oh, I know. You've been so busy.

And I've been working a lot anyways.

How… How is that going?

Hectic, but somehow, I still feel a little underused.

Like you just wish you could maybe take some bigger swings?

Hm.

Anyway, I should… [whispering] …probably get going.

You make her happy, you know.

She's pretty tough to read.

But, um, just starting to feel like a thing… again.

-Yeah, my mom's pretty private. -Oh yeah.

And on that note, have a good one.

Yeah. You too.

[door closes]

Hey, I usually take Friday afternoons off, just FYI.

For a coffee. No pressure.

["Getaway" by May Rio playing]

[Siaja] Bun!

Anaana's here!

-Ting? -[loud bang]

-[Bun] Whoo! -[Ting laughing]

-That one hit the moon! -[laughing, cheering]

I think you're ready for a real baseball game this weekend.

What? No, she's too little.

-She's seven. -Ataata said I could, though.

Well, Ataata didn't talk to Anaana.

'Cause Anaana doesn't talk to Ataata.

Okay. We'll talk.

Really? When?

[Siaja] Um…

Thursday after work? Come on, Bun.

Okay. Thursday after work, then.

-Okay. School. -[Bun giggling]

[calming music playing]

-Oof! -[bat dings]

[upbeat music playing]

Morning!

Kia ora.

Ullaakkut.

[Millie] I wouldn't do that.

Those hooks are purely decorative.

Like the hot water taps in the washroom?

And the smoke detectors.

Know there's mushrooms growing in the storeroom?

-And they are not the fun kind. -No.

[grumbling]

Okay, when you make that sound, it's usually because of your mom.

-Or Helen. -[Colin] Sometimes Elisapee.

Sometimes this one.

You make that sound a lot. So we need another clue.

It's this place.

It could be so much better.

You know, I want to do more. I want to… take bigger swings.

Like, look at this.

I mean, technically, this water bubble has worked here longer than I have.

[Millie] I wouldn't touch that if I were you.

-[sinister note plays] -[Helen sighs]

This is the worst time to have a leak. Do you know why I called you in here?

To tell me to go home and shower?

No, we are on a short list for the Polar Research Center.

The one your father's been scouting?

It's now between us and Tuktuktalik.

Wait, isn't that good news?

Know why this place is falling apart?

70% of territorial infrastructure funding has gone to Tuktuktalik.

Well, that doesn't sound fair.

My counterpart there is this woman.

Her name's Ellen White.

She's a real…

[groans]

[whispers] …jerk.

Siaja, if you had my job…

[laughing]

I know, it's ridiculous to think about, but if you were in my position,

what would you do

to defeat a town

that is demonstrably better than us in every way?

-Harsh. -I know.

Okay. We already play baseball every Saturday.

-Yeah. -Why don't we challenge Tuktuktalik?

Call it a friendly game fundraiser.

Do a big 50-50 draw.

Split the proceeds with the visiting community, and, um…

bring out the old walrus dick.

A walrus dick challenge.

It's been years. Yeah.

And we could crush Ellen's team and show our fighting spirit.

Sure. And we could get some extra funds to fix up this place

and have a real shot at the station.

Yeah, and really demolish Ellen in the process. Let's do it.

Let's crush Ellen! Whoo!

["Highs and Lows" by Paper Dog playing]

[song ends]

-I hate to rub it in, but in yo face! -No, I didn't see that.

-[scatting happily] -[laughing]

[Siaja laughing]

If you would've said "walrus dick baseball" a few weeks ago,

that would've blown my mind.

But now I'm thinking, "Yo, bring it on."

You know? I'm starting to feel like a real Northerner.

Only Southerners say that.

Aw, damn it. All right. Well…

-[phone dinging] -Um…

Oh, crap.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

Ugh.

-What? -I was supposed to meet Ting after work.

But I got caught up with Helen, planning and telling her

why throat-singing cheerleaders wasn't a good idea, and I… forgot.

Shit.

Was it important, or…

I mean, I've been avoiding him for weeks, and we have a lot to sort through, so…

Yeah, I know that feeling.

How so?

Uh…

Dude, you know so much about me, and I know zip about you.

It's kind of unfair.

Okay. There's not that much to tell.

I… Um, I had a girlfriend,

and I told her I was coming up here for a bit,

and she didn't say, "Don't go," so now I'm here.

About to play walrus dick baseball, so that's pretty cool.

Oh, um…

As a reward for that avalanche of personal information,

how would you like to be my team captain?

It would be my honor, my lady.

["I Love It" by Donny Suede & LiTTiE playing]

[Siaja laughing]

[Siaja] The betting pool's now at 22,000 and growing,

so we're walking away today with at least 11K.

[Helen] Oh my God, Siaja!

You have outdone yourself.

I know we may have gotten off on the wrong foot,

but you might be my greatest achievement.

Thanks?

Thank you. And you're welcome.

Wow. Big game-day announcers.

This looks so professional.

It's my first time.

-I bet you say that to all the guys. -[Colin] Helen.

We just had that workshop.

Well, Mr. Neil Armstrong hadn't been to the moon

until he hopped out of his space buggy either.

Huh. That almost made sense.

You good?

I said it was my first time. Didn't say I wasn't gonna crush it.

Nice. Oh. You actually plugged that in wrong.

-Where's Kuuk? -Uh.

[laughing]

Hey!

Someone got an upgrade.

Yeah, my auntie burnt my peacoat.

Uh, the team's looking good.

Especially this kid Bannock here. Look how fast he is.

Shoom!

-Right? -I'm faster than Bannock.

Yeah? Well, we could use fast.

Uh…

-Hm? -[Kuuk] Got a lot of kids and elders here.

Please, Anaana?

-Whoo-hoo! Yeah! -I got her.

[mouthing]

[Siaja] Team's looking good.

-All right. Ready? -[Bun giggling]

What?

I might be diving into sensitive waters here.

Where's Ting?

He's the best player we have.

We're not on the best of terms.

He's still upset at me for, you know, everything.

But how can we win without him?

[scoffs] We don't need him.

We have a kick-ass team. I mean, look at Elisapee. She's an animal.

Look, it doesn't matter if we win this.

Siaja, do you understand how important it is to humiliate Ellen White?

Helen!

Hi!

There she is. Is that a pink streak in her hair?

[Ellen] Yummy!

[Helen] She thinks she's so cool.

What do I do?

You go greet her. It's a conversation, not a knife fight.

Okay. Hi!

Wonderful to see you!

Still aging gracefully.

[Ellen] Thanks for having us to your mud pit.

[both laughing]

-[Helen] Okay. Let's do it. -[Ellen] We'll talk later.

See? That wasn't so bad.

Ellen talked me into changing the terms of the game.

It's winner takes all.

What?

No! You have to go back and tell her you made a mistake.

Are you kidding? You saw what just happened.

-She's the devil. -I'll tell her you made a mistake.

I signed an agreement.

Helen!

If we lose, we get zip.

I already told Mikey to fix our leaky roof.

-We could lose money on this. -Siaja, calm down.

You were just saying yourself, our team is awesome.

We can beat 'em.

[man whistling]

-Oh my God. -[intense music playing]

[Ellen] Mm-mm-mmm. You're going down.

[Bun] Those guys are big.

Oooh.

[music ends]

I'll go get Ting.

[Ting] I don't need any more casseroles.

Ting, it's me.

Oh.

Are you here for our big talk?

'Cause you're like 100 hours late.

I'm sorry.

I got busy and I forgot.

Genuinely. I texted you.

You know how long I waited up?

The whole first season of Peaky Blinders.

An amazing show that is now ruined for me because of you.

Again, I'm sorry.

But we need you for the baseball game. The community needs King Ting.

You'll have to tell them you screwed up with your avoidance issues.

Ugh, I didn't come to argue.

Helen made a stupid bet, and now we have to win.

And we can't do it without you.

Fine. I'll play.

On one condition.

Deal.

Wait. What's the condition?

That we talk. Today. Right after the game.

-Okay. -Hi, Ting.

Are you two…

Jealous?

Mm, casserole.

Judy, you're amazing.

Just bring it inside.

-[spicy music playing] -Right now, I got a big game to win.

[woman] And then she niliq'd!

[women laughing]

-Hey! -What are you doing?

The lovebirds gotta sit together.

[in Inuktut] Enough.

-[in English] Is that okay with you? -Yeah, it's a free country.

[giggling] Why do you think we brought an extra chair?

Oh, thank you. Excuse me.

Is there a trick to this?

Yeah, the trick was to get you to bend over.

[women laughing]

[laughing uncomfortably]

Thanks for joining us.

Now that we're talking, how come you never got married?

Uh, well, lots of reasons, really. Uh, doesn't help I live out of a suitcase.

-Any other kids we should know about? -None that I know of, no.

How about jail time? Have you gone to jail?

One night. Mistaken identity.

-Only? -How is your prostate?

Uh…

I don't know. Neevee?

-Holy… Ladies, just chill out. -[laughing]

Jeez.

How come you never got married?

Who wants soup? Soup?

-Me. -Yeah, atii.

Atiingaa.

-All right. Yep. Heck yeah. Heck yeah. -[upbeat music playing]

[crowd cheering]

[all chanting] King Ting! King Ting! King Ting!

-[Ting roaring] -[music ends]

[crowd cheering]

Siaja begged me to come.

Said we're a little short on manpower.

[Siaja] Yeah, Kuuk is captain.

We need to win, so use Ting.

Okay. Yeah.

[tense music playing]

[on speaker] We are moments away from the inaugural Hamlet of Ice Cove

Inuktitut Baseball Community Hall Fundraise Jam Fest.

Fun fact, I shortened it to "Ham Jam."

Before you ask, there's no ham. And also, no jam.

Welcome to Ham Jam!

-[Colin] Yeah! -[crowd cheering]

Elisapee's now bringing over the bat for today's game.

Which will probably be played tomorrow if she doesn't pick up the pace.

[crowd laughing]

Sorry. Sorry, Elisapee.

-[epic music playing] -[Millie] In a land short on wood,

we turn to bone.

And, my, what a bone this is.

We give you the walrus dick!

-[all cheering] -[music fades out]

[woman] Go, Ice Cove!

-[man 1] Yeah! -[man 2] Here we go!

This game has been played for centuries,

and I say this having done zero research.

But I do know each community has their own set of unique rules.

So, for fairness, we will be playing by a random community's rules.

Alaskan rules!

Which one?

Eskimo baseball!

-[bleep] baseball? -[all gasping]

-Hey. -Ooh.

We can say Eskimo, you cannot. Understood?

What I understand is the Tuktuktalik Community Center

is about to get a new 4K projector.

[players chattering excitedly]

Uh, everybody have a phone?

I'll post a link to the rules.

[phones dinging]

[upbeat music playing on phone]

Okay. Eskimo baseball doesn't have any bases.

[buzzer sounding]

Like American baseball, you can have nine people on the field.

Or you can have more. It doesn't even matter.

Like, look at all these people.

The objective is to run from one safety zone to another

without getting hit.

[buzzer sounding]

And that's how you get a guy out.

Unless it's a headshot.

[buzzer sounding]

They don't count. And that's Eskimo baseball.

[upbeat music ends]

[Siaja] Okay, first team to 400 wins!

Let's play!

[all cheering]

[Colin] Nice hit from Taitusi. He's gonna get a few runs off of that one.

Fun fact, last time Taitusi was in town, he proposed to three of my friends.

I guess that's more of a warning than a fun fact.

Next, stepping up to the plate, we have

this guy.

-[whispers] Who? -I don't know.

[Colin] And this guy hits it…

-And… -Yeah!

[Colin] It's collected by Kuuk, and he throws it.

This guy launches it back, and Kuuk catches it again.

Wow, they are playing catch like a father and child.

[cheering loudly]

[Colin] If you're confused, folks, you're in good company.

It took me two years of living here to understand this game.

Great play from the home team!

That takes a little bit of sting off the fact that we are already

43 points behind.

-Forty-three? -[Colin] We'll make it up.

Do we suck?

Hey, only suckers suck.

You're no sucker. You're who?

You're who?

I'm your superstar wiggle butt.

That's right.

Now, go show Grandma and Grandpa

just how fast your little tuktu legs can go, okay?

Qaigit!

[exaggerated grunt]

All right, come here! Ha-ha!

[patting Bun's back]

Go get 'em. Go.

[Colin] Okay, I hope everyone warmed up their soup

'cause we might be here a while if Ice Cove is going to pull this off.

["Milkshake" by Angela Amarualik playing]

-Come on, Bun. Let's go! -[all cheering]

[Neevee] Come on, Siaja.

[Colin] Is Kuuk gonna catch it?

Ooh, no. Ting leaves him in the dust.

[Ting roaring]

Whoo!

I guess that's why they call Ting "King."

Because he rules, and he's a shit team player.

[Millie] You got that right. That was a dirty move.

[crowd booing]

[Colin] A big pop-up, and…

Ooh, Ting decides to shove Kuuk instead of catch the ball,

and the visiting team has scored again.

Come on!

Somebody tell those two they're on the same team.

Fun fact, I think they're both on Team Siaja.

[crowd chanting] Fight!

[Siaja] Time-out!

Grow up!

[Colin] Siaja breaks it up, while Tuktuktalik scores another 12.

Are you kidding me? You guys are gonna cost us the game!

You're right. We're being idiots, man. Sorry.

Maybe you should take a break. Looking tired out there.

-Ting-- -[Siaja] Please.

What is your problem?

You're my problem. And him.

How is Kuuk your problem?

You made time for him, but not for me, the father of your child.

Oh, of course, it's all about you.

[somber music playing]

[Bun crying] Why can't you all get along?

Oh, I'm so sorry, Bun.

We shouldn't have been arguing.

[crying]

No more fighting. I promise.

Yeah?

[Ting] Come on.

-Let's all go finish the game together. -Okay.

[Colin] Okay, guys, it's close to the end of the game, and it's tight.

Ice Cove has called for a time-out.

Take your mitts off 'cause this is a nail-biter.

-Hey. -[exciting music playing]

Let's get off [bleep] time and play ball.

-[dramatic stinger] -[music ends]

Okay, guys, this is bigger than money.

Ellen White is a real-life terrorist.

Like, chop my hair, give me the worst bangs ever,

send me to residential school terrorist.

No offense, Poe.

Tuktuktalik has been stealing our resources for decades.

But it's made them soft.

Know what happens when you go soft in walrus dick baseball?

It's game over.

So I say we go scorched earth on these…

these a-holes.

We're gonna S in their Ms until they S in their perfect uniforms,

and then they're gonna march around town with that S in their P-A-N-T-Ss.

[Bun] Huh?

Yeah, let's fuck their shit up! For Ice Cove!

-For Ice Cove! -[all cheering]

All right, we'll give them King Ting.

I'm listening.

-Okay. Hold on… [whispering indistinctly] -[dramatic music playing]

[Colin] The entire Ice Cove team is now waiting

in the safe zone, sending our heaviest hitter up to bat.

[crowd chanting] King Ting!

Hunters! Fall back! Go deep!

[Colin] The game is close. It could all come down to this play.

[Ting grunting]

[crowd cheering]

[soft, anticipatory music playing]

-Now! -[Colin] And a bunt out of nowhere!

-[all cheering] -[exciting music playing]

Amazing. The entire Ice Cove team is running to safety.

One player gets hit, and they're out.

[Millie yelling] Go! Go! Go! Go!

[grunting]

[music distorts]

-[grunts] -[exciting music continues]

Three players left to score. That's all we need!

Come on, Siaja!

-Ow! -[music ends]

[Alistair] Oh.

[crowd murmuring angrily]

[Ellen] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

That was an out.

[Ice Cove players] No, we won.

[Tuktuktalik players] We won!

-Quiet! -[all] We won!

No, we won!

-We agreed on the rules. -What?

No headhunting! The run counts! Ice Cove wins!

-Yes! Yeah! Yeah! -[all cheering]

["Talk to Me" by Stevie Nicks playing]

[Alistair] Yeah!

Whoo!

Genuinely lovely to see you, dear.

-Let's do this again soon. -Yeah.

Oh, yes, let's. We need some new windows.

[woman] Ooh, burn.

Oh my god. I am so glad you're on my team.

May be your team, but I am your star player.

You sure are.

Anaana! We won!

I'm so proud of you.

-[Bun] Yay! -[Siaja] We did it!

Um…

Uh, sh… Are you coming to the celebration, or…

Uh…

I have a prior commitment.

But rain check?

Absolutely.

-See you. -See you later.

[Neevee] Siaja!

Watch your back next time.

♪ Well, isn't that enough? You can hide your hurt ♪

♪ But there's something you can do ♪

[sighs deeply]

♪ You can talk to me ♪

♪ You can talk to me ♪

♪ When you're down now ♪

♪ You can talk to me ♪

♪ Talk to me ♪

-Ugh! -[music cuts off]

I frickin' tried, and I'm taking this casserole!

[phone ringing]

[call connects]

-[Alistair] Hello. -Hey, it's Siaja.

[sighs] Yeah. You still down for coffee?

-["Talk to Me" resumes] -♪ Well, let the walls burn down ♪

♪ Set your secret free ♪

♪ You can break their bounds 'Cause you're safe with me ♪

♪ You can lose your doubt 'Cause you'll find no danger here ♪

♪ You can talk to me ♪

♪ Talk to me ♪

♪ When you're down now You can talk to me ♪

♪ You can set your secrets free, baby ♪

♪ Well, I can see That expression when the phone rings ♪

♪ And I can see that We're thinkin' 'bout the same things ♪

♪ Is it all that hard? Is it all that tough? ♪

♪ Well, now you've taken all my dreams Isn't that enough? ♪

♪ Well, I can see you, baby ♪

♪ Well, I can see you, baby ♪