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1
00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:09,748
Today nerds are cool,
2
00:00:09,835 --> 00:00:11,750
but in the '80s,
we had a whole class
3
00:00:11,837 --> 00:00:14,884
dedicated to
reminding us we weren't, gym.
4
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:19,671
I love the smell of
torn underwear in the morning.
5
00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:24,067
But misery loves company,
and my company was Greg.
6
00:00:24,154 --> 00:00:25,982
I was lucky to have him,
7
00:00:26,069 --> 00:00:29,290
especially because it was the
most miserable time of year,
8
00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:30,682
dodgeball week.
9
00:00:30,769 --> 00:00:32,989
Are you ready for this?
10
00:00:33,076 --> 00:00:34,686
Here.
I have an extra.
11
00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:36,427
I don't want
your hand-me-down cup.
12
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:38,647
If you don't use one, you'll
need some hand-me-down nuts.
13
00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:41,302
Dodgeball was five days
of state-sanctioned
14
00:00:41,389 --> 00:00:42,912
child warfare.
15
00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:44,218
It started in PE.
16
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:47,960
Ugh!
17
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,006
But it affected
every class in school,
18
00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:53,575
social studies, science.
19
00:00:53,662 --> 00:00:55,620
We weren't even safe
if we were right outside
20
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,013
the principal's office.
21
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:59,363
Ugh!
Seriously?
22
00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:00,451
Huh?
23
00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:07,067
Thank you for being a friend.
24
00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:09,982
Greg, I found a way
for us to dodge dodgeball.
25
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,767
What is it?
Seducing Principal Morello?
26
00:01:11,854 --> 00:01:13,247
You should do that.
27
00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:14,248
You know she likes
her milk chocolate.
28
00:01:14,335 --> 00:01:15,640
No, look.
29
00:01:15,727 --> 00:01:17,512
It says if students
start a club
30
00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:20,297
based on physical activity,
they're excused from gym class.
31
00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:21,472
We should start a club.
32
00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:23,083
You're a friggin' genius!
33
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,258
But we gotta do this soon.
34
00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:25,737
I'm running out of underwear.
35
00:01:25,824 --> 00:01:27,304
And I'm down to my last pair.
36
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,481
And now they're ruined.
37
00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:35,486
This rules.
38
00:01:35,573 --> 00:01:37,445
We'll finally have a place
where we can chill and not have
39
00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:38,881
things flying at our heads.
40
00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:41,275
That's why we have
to fly under the radar.
41
00:01:41,362 --> 00:01:43,059
So let's pick an
activity no one likes.
42
00:01:43,146 --> 00:01:44,147
Tennis?
43
00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:46,715
No way.
White people love tennis.
44
00:01:46,802 --> 00:01:48,586
It's the only sport
we still dominate.
45
00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:50,197
Not for long.
46
00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:52,373
What about Jazzercise?
47
00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:55,724
No, that'll attract girls,
and girls attract bullies.
48
00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:58,422
But something dance-related
could be good.
49
00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:00,076
What's a dance
white people can't do?
50
00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:01,643
Every one of them.
51
00:02:01,730 --> 00:02:02,731
I got it!
52
00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:04,907
A breakdancing club.
53
00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:07,388
What a fly idea!
54
00:02:07,475 --> 00:02:09,955
You b-boys be busting
moves like in "Breakin' 2:
55
00:02:10,042 --> 00:02:11,348
Electric Boogaloo."
56
00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:13,220
Right.
57
00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:16,353
But darn, you need a third
member to start any club,
58
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,921
and unfortunately,
no one else at Tattaglia can
59
00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:20,879
breaka-breaka-break it down.
60
00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:21,880
No problem.
61
00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:23,273
I know a brother.
62
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,840
Thanks for doing this, Drew.
63
00:02:24,927 --> 00:02:26,363
Oh, I'm not
doing this for you.
64
00:02:26,450 --> 00:02:28,191
I just love
all the martial arts.
65
00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:29,671
Breakdancing
is a martial art?
66
00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:31,803
The robot
is all karate chops.
67
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:37,157
I'm so excited you boys are
bringing your urban flavor
68
00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:38,680
to our school.
69
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:40,899
This is definitely
going in the newsletter.
70
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:43,424
Wait, is that black
mold on the walls?
71
00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:45,295
I don't see color, Chris.
72
00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:47,341
I only see mold.
73
00:02:49,343 --> 00:02:52,259
My sister Tonya had
attitude and her own key,
74
00:02:52,346 --> 00:02:54,348
which to her
seventh-grade girl gang
75
00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:56,654
meant she was grown
and in charge.
76
00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:59,091
Uh, algebra
was pretty fun today.
77
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,397
Yeah, it kind of was.
78
00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:01,529
No, it wasn't.
79
00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:03,095
Yeah, I hate algebra.
80
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,923
Me too, always have.
81
00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:07,796
But she was about to get
booted by a belly button.
82
00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:09,450
Damn, Sally.
83
00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:10,451
Whoa.
84
00:03:10,538 --> 00:03:12,104
A crop top!
85
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,976
I got my mom
to buy this for me.
86
00:03:14,063 --> 00:03:15,369
Can you believe it?
87
00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:17,153
You're so lucky.
88
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:21,113
Here I am, stuck in
these little kid clothes.
89
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,507
Uh, aren't you cold in that?
90
00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:26,206
Yeah, but I feel hot.
91
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:30,775
Huh,
anyone seen my house key?
92
00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:31,907
Oh.
93
00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:33,387
Here it is.
94
00:03:33,474 --> 00:03:35,432
Gotta get home
and let myself in.
95
00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:37,217
Come on.
96
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:38,566
Aren't you coming?
97
00:03:38,653 --> 00:03:40,785
Oh, I kind of want a calzone.
98
00:03:40,872 --> 00:03:42,222
Oh, we'll keep you company!
99
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:45,529
Mind if I take
a sip of your drink?
100
00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:47,705
Ahh.
101
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:50,186
both: Ahh.
102
00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:52,057
There was a new
queen bee, and Tonya
103
00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:53,755
was feeling the sting.
104
00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:57,324
The usual, Julius,
or something fancy today?
105
00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:58,803
Fancy?
106
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:00,588
Whatcha gonna do,
paint an 8 on there
107
00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:02,329
and sink him
in the corner pocket?
108
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:05,201
Ha-ha.
109
00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:06,550
Just the usual, Manny.
110
00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:08,291
That's how my wife likes it.
111
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,424
How does your wife
like it, Mr. Omar?
112
00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:11,512
Oh, that's right.
113
00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:12,600
You don't got one.
114
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:13,775
- Ooh.
- Ohh.
115
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:14,776
You're right.
116
00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:15,994
I don't have a wife.
117
00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:17,431
I have my customers' wives.
118
00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:21,130
Would you look at her?
119
00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:23,132
Yo, Monk, let me
hold a dollar so I
120
00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:25,134
can get change and
bounce four quarters off
121
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:26,962
of that fine behind.
122
00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:29,007
Look, Mr. Julius.
123
00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:32,489
Yeah, she's got some,
uh, debris in the caboose.
124
00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:35,405
What in the name
of high-waisted
125
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:36,885
jeans are you talking about?
126
00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:38,321
I don't know
how to explain it.
127
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:41,281
I kind of have butt blindness.
128
00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:43,370
The hell you mean
"butt blindness"?
129
00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:46,503
I can see them, but they
all look the same to me.
130
00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,940
I can't tell Grace Jones
from Quincy Jones.
131
00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:54,729
You're missing out on one
of life's greatest pleasures.
132
00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:56,600
Tragic!
133
00:04:56,687 --> 00:04:58,907
Well, I only got eyes
for my wife anyway.
134
00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:01,910
But you've never really
seen her booty, have you?
135
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:03,477
Uh--
136
00:05:04,782 --> 00:05:06,958
You see anything
you like, baby?
137
00:05:07,045 --> 00:05:08,046
Damn, woman.
138
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:11,528
Looking real lumpy today.
139
00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:13,356
Lumpy?
140
00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:14,183
The only thing that's gonna
have lumps around here
141
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:15,532
is your head.
- Ooh.
142
00:05:15,619 --> 00:05:16,707
What?
143
00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:18,405
- Does she know?
- You crazy.
144
00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:19,580
How can I tell
my wife I haven't
145
00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:20,929
ever really seen her ass?
146
00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:22,974
From behind
bulletproof glass.
147
00:05:23,061 --> 00:05:24,236
We're gonna help you.
148
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,326
It's our duty as men.
149
00:05:31,766 --> 00:05:33,463
All right, let's get the
paperwork out of the way.
150
00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:37,249
Official name,
Breakdancing Club.
151
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,382
What about The Dance Lads?
152
00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:40,644
No.
153
00:05:40,731 --> 00:05:43,430
OK, president, me.
154
00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:45,170
When did you
become president?
155
00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:46,824
This was all Chris's idea.
156
00:05:46,911 --> 00:05:48,260
None of this matters.
157
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,175
Then as
co-president, I agree.
158
00:05:50,262 --> 00:05:51,133
Fine.
159
00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:53,265
You can be co-president.
160
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,441
And Drew can be VP.
161
00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:55,398
Cool.
162
00:05:55,485 --> 00:05:57,444
Oh, can I be treasurer, too?
163
00:05:57,531 --> 00:05:59,359
I want an extra picture
in the yearbook.
164
00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:01,404
I'm gonna go stretch.
165
00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:03,885
Wait, are we actually gonna
learn how to breakdance?
166
00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:07,236
No, it's quiet, and if I fall
asleep, no one's gonna write
167
00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:09,020
"King Kong" on my forehead.
168
00:06:09,107 --> 00:06:10,674
So I'm gonna take a nap.
169
00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:13,416
Well, then,
what am I gonna do?
170
00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:16,114
You're the
treasurer, so treasure
171
00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:19,944
the time you spend not having
stuff thrown at your head.
172
00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:27,038
Thanks for taking
me shopping, Mama.
173
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,605
Of course, baby.
174
00:06:28,692 --> 00:06:30,390
None of my kids
gonna look raggedy.
175
00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:32,130
What do you need?
New socks?
176
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:33,218
Barrettes?
177
00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:35,177
Something else inexpensive?
178
00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:38,354
Just something a little
more seventh grade, you know?
179
00:06:38,441 --> 00:06:40,095
Aw, what about this?
180
00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:41,618
It's so cute.
181
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:44,926
I was thinking
something more like this.
182
00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:47,276
The rest of that shirt
better still be on the rack.
183
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:48,756
It's a crop top, Mama.
184
00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:50,497
Why on Earth do
you want me to pay
185
00:06:50,584 --> 00:06:51,976
full price for half a shirt?
186
00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:53,021
I don't know.
187
00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:54,152
My friend has one.
188
00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:56,111
It's just in, OK?
189
00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:58,983
Let's find something in that
doesn't have your stomach out.
190
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:02,247
I just want
to look more grown.
191
00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:04,772
What's wrong with
looking your age?
192
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,730
What's wrong with
looking more grown?
193
00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:08,210
I shouldn't be walking
around my school
194
00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:09,298
looking like a stripper.
195
00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:11,779
Mm, that felt personal.
196
00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:14,564
All I wanna do is play
dress-up with you,
197
00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:16,871
and you out here
trying to be a nun.
198
00:07:16,958 --> 00:07:18,525
Ohh.
199
00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:20,352
Sweetie, I'm your
mom, and I really
200
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,268
think you should stick with
stuff like this for now, OK?
201
00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:26,750
OK.
202
00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:27,925
You're right, Mama.
203
00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:32,147
Please help me.
204
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,152
Were you gonna write
on my forehead?
205
00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:38,936
No.
Maybe.
206
00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:39,937
I don't know.
207
00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:41,025
I'm bored.
208
00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:42,592
Hey, I have an idea.
209
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:44,551
Motion to invite
girls to the club.
210
00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:46,857
Greg, I like girls, too.
211
00:07:46,944 --> 00:07:48,468
Everyone likes girls.
212
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:51,079
But everyone includes
bullies, and bullies
213
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:53,951
will give us wedgies
in front of the girls.
214
00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:55,170
Is that what you want?
215
00:07:55,257 --> 00:07:56,084
Maybe we should vote on it.
216
00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:57,128
Greg, no!
217
00:07:57,215 --> 00:07:58,173
Absolutely not!
218
00:07:58,260 --> 00:07:59,827
Yeah, this is Chris's club.
219
00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:00,784
OK, fine.
220
00:08:00,871 --> 00:08:02,046
No girls.
221
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:04,919
You look hot upside down.
222
00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:06,181
Augh!
223
00:08:06,268 --> 00:08:08,444
Whoa, what's this?
224
00:08:08,531 --> 00:08:11,186
Some guests
of the female persuasion?
225
00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:12,404
Ladies, come in.
226
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,102
What the hell, man?
227
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:16,060
It's just two girls
from my chemistry class.
228
00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:17,714
Don't worry.
229
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:20,412
Ladies, welcome to my club.
230
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,371
Ugh, filled out
a ton of paperwork.
231
00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:23,981
So tiring.
232
00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:26,331
Do you mind if I rest
my carpal tunnels?
233
00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:27,898
He's taking advantage of you.
234
00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:29,073
No, he's not.
235
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,510
I'm here for Greg's club.
236
00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:35,340
This is a little
conservative,
237
00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:36,733
but this will look cute on you.
238
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,256
You'd let me have that?
239
00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:40,258
Um, I'll let you borrow it.
240
00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:41,825
Stand up.
241
00:08:41,912 --> 00:08:42,609
Yes!
242
00:08:42,696 --> 00:08:44,175
You see that, Tasha?
243
00:08:44,262 --> 00:08:46,830
This is how you make
your mommy proud of you.
244
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:49,572
I made principal's list
for the 50th week in a row.
245
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:51,400
And I've been on
parole for 48 weeks,
246
00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:52,706
but you don't see me bragging.
247
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,751
Let me see your face, girl.
248
00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:57,232
You got pretty eyes, Tonya.
249
00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:58,320
- Really?
- Mm.
250
00:08:58,407 --> 00:08:59,887
We gotta use them.
251
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:05,196
Get you back on top with
your little girl gang.
252
00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:07,198
Now hold up the top with it.
253
00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:08,591
Mm-hmm.
254
00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:10,114
We do that,
maybe some earrings.
255
00:09:10,201 --> 00:09:11,246
Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!
256
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:13,161
Check yourself out!
257
00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:19,036
Damn, I look grown enough
to buy a lottery ticket.
258
00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:21,865
The next day, my
brother looked forward
259
00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:23,563
to breaking while
I looked forward
260
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:24,694
to actually taking a break.
261
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:30,352
Damn it.
262
00:09:30,439 --> 00:09:32,963
But Greg had turned
our club into da club.
263
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,008
"Damn it"?
264
00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:35,052
That's it?
265
00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:36,314
Even your bully is here.
266
00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:37,533
Be more mad.
- Why?
267
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:39,230
It's just Greg being Greg.
268
00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:40,536
Well, Greg is selfish.
269
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,016
Isn't he always like this?
270
00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:43,583
Uh--
271
00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:47,848
Thanks, homey.
272
00:09:50,764 --> 00:09:52,243
At least it's
two against one.
273
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:53,549
Ugh!
274
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:56,247
Hi, Chris.
275
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:58,293
What's going on?
276
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:00,208
Chris pooped his pants
yesterday, but my underwear?
277
00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:02,297
Bone dry.
278
00:10:02,384 --> 00:10:03,994
Eh, it's a numbers game.
279
00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:05,866
Chris,
he is not a good friend.
280
00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:07,607
You need to
stand up for yourself.
281
00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:10,914
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
282
00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:13,787
Greg, this is supposed
to be our thing.
283
00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:15,527
Get these people out of here.
284
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,312
No, I want girls here.
285
00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:18,661
Nice club, Chris.
286
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:20,010
Here's my membership fee.
287
00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:21,751
Ooh!
- Ow!
288
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:22,970
See?
289
00:10:23,057 --> 00:10:24,841
I told you girls
would bring bullies!
290
00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:26,669
We're supposed to look
out for each other,
291
00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:27,844
but you only care
about yourself.
292
00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:30,673
So as president,
I say we vote you out.
293
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,588
As VP, I second.
294
00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:35,417
Well, as co-president and
treasurer, I get two votes,
295
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:36,810
and I vote I stay.
296
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:39,290
He thinks his
vote is twice mine?
297
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:41,902
That's even worse than the
Three-Fifths Compromise.
298
00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:43,991
Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight!
299
00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:46,036
That's not how
we solve things.
300
00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:48,343
I came to check on
you guys, and it looks
301
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:50,127
like I arrived just in time.
302
00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:52,956
There's only one way
to resolve this--
303
00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:55,480
a breakdance battle
here, tomorrow.
304
00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:56,525
Seriously?
305
00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:58,222
That's the only way?
306
00:10:58,309 --> 00:10:59,136
It's the only way
I can make sure I have
307
00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:00,877
my good camera
to take pictures.
308
00:11:08,798 --> 00:11:11,583
Hey.
309
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,976
- Whoa.
- Damn, Tonya.
310
00:11:13,063 --> 00:11:15,979
What?
311
00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:19,896
What'll it be?
312
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:22,551
I'm trying to piss off my
boss enough to get severance.
313
00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:24,553
What's your nastiest flavor?
314
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,817
The Chitlin' Juice glazed.
315
00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:29,210
I should just stop making it.
316
00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:30,254
Gross.
317
00:11:30,341 --> 00:11:33,040
Give me a dozen.
318
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:37,131
Oh, hell no!
319
00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:39,307
You think my crop
top is too short,
320
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:42,832
or is it cool my house key
pokes out from under it?
321
00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:46,662
Ah!
322
00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:48,229
Mama, what are you doing?
323
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:51,362
You think you grown now, huh?
324
00:11:51,449 --> 00:11:53,016
Let's go.
325
00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:54,322
I'm gonna beat the
pepperoni out your behind.
326
00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:00,850
Let's start with an easy one.
327
00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:03,461
Pretend this is a small butt.
328
00:12:03,548 --> 00:12:06,638
How would you
describe its shape?
329
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,249
Ooh, ooh, ooh, pineapple!
330
00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:12,906
That's Vanessa Williams.
Nope.
331
00:12:12,993 --> 00:12:14,168
Janet Jackson.
332
00:12:14,255 --> 00:12:15,212
Nope.
333
00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:17,475
Bob Newhart.
334
00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:20,609
Maybe you just need
glasses to see them asses.
335
00:12:20,696 --> 00:12:23,220
Now, which one is Kill Moves?
336
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:25,962
Uh, it's a trick question.
337
00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:27,703
They're both Kill Moves.
338
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:31,663
Damn, you're not just butt
blind, you're bum blind.
339
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:32,882
None of this is working.
340
00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:35,145
It's like I'm not
even a Black man.
341
00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:37,452
You just spent seven
hours at a barbershop.
342
00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:38,845
You Black.
343
00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:41,630
Still,
tough break, Mr. Julius.
344
00:12:41,717 --> 00:12:43,545
But hey, thanks for reminding
us not to take booties
345
00:12:43,632 --> 00:12:45,155
for granted.
346
00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:46,983
The next time I see
a big beautiful behind,
347
00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:49,203
I'm gonna tell it
how much I love it.
348
00:12:49,290 --> 00:12:50,857
20 minutes later,
he got arrested
349
00:12:50,944 --> 00:12:53,033
for harassing a police horse.
350
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,733
Peaches, open the damn door!
351
00:12:57,820 --> 00:13:00,518
My mom hadn't been
this mad at Peaches
352
00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:04,000
since, well, the last time
she interacted with Peaches.
353
00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:06,873
Don't make me get
my battering ram!
354
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,178
Oh, hi, baby.
355
00:13:08,265 --> 00:13:09,353
Is your mommy home?
356
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:10,354
I'm right here.
357
00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:12,052
Go watch TV.
358
00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:13,357
I need to prepare
for bible study.
359
00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:15,359
You're gonna
study for a study?
360
00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:17,535
Oh, my god.
361
00:13:17,622 --> 00:13:19,494
Sometimes, I swear, I wonder
if she's even my daughter.
362
00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:21,191
Then I remember how
she wrecked my--
363
00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:23,628
Peaches, did you
dress up my daughter
364
00:13:23,715 --> 00:13:25,413
in your hoochie clothes?
365
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:28,808
Yeah, I bought all these
fly clothes for Tasha,
366
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:30,722
and she won't wear them.
367
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:31,854
I'm sorry, Rochelle.
368
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:33,813
I was just trying
to have some fun.
369
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,946
You can't do whatever you
want just because it's fun.
370
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:39,427
Damn, you sound like my mom.
371
00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:41,124
Oh, please.
372
00:13:41,211 --> 00:13:43,866
My mom was so strict, never
let me wear what I wanted,
373
00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:46,651
embarrassed me in front of all
my friends, but I showed her.
374
00:13:46,738 --> 00:13:49,089
The day I turned 18,
I got out the house
375
00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:51,569
and did whatever
I wanted, partying,
376
00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:53,267
drinking, messing around.
377
00:13:53,354 --> 00:13:54,529
Well, except after
Tasha was born.
378
00:13:54,616 --> 00:13:55,835
I couldn't hook up with
anybody for months.
379
00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,793
My downstairs was a mess.
380
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,012
Thank you, Peaches.
381
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:01,536
You're welcome.
382
00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:03,973
Wait, for what?
383
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:06,758
I didn't know how to
breakdance, but luckily,
384
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,108
neither did Greg.
385
00:14:08,195 --> 00:14:10,632
Give him a Bed-Stuy beatdown!
386
00:14:10,719 --> 00:14:13,330
But don't beat him so badly
he ends up racist forever.
387
00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:14,854
This should be over quickly.
388
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:16,725
All righty, b-boys.
389
00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:20,685
Whichever one of you can get
the crowd most hyped wins.
390
00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:22,687
Chris, you go first.
391
00:14:30,391 --> 00:14:31,305
OK.
392
00:14:31,392 --> 00:14:32,523
Mm.
393
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:33,611
Ahh!
394
00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:40,749
That was terrible, but I
bet Greg will be even worse.
395
00:14:40,836 --> 00:14:43,839
My turn.
396
00:14:43,926 --> 00:14:44,492
Oh! Ooh!
397
00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:54,850
Ohh! Damn!
398
00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:57,461
How did his white ass
learn to do all that?
399
00:14:57,548 --> 00:14:59,463
White people
had a secret tool
400
00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:02,684
to learn how to breakdance,
Alfonso Ribeiro.
401
00:15:06,818 --> 00:15:09,386
Now watch this, suckas.
402
00:15:09,473 --> 00:15:10,822
Ah!
Ow.
403
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:11,823
Ow.
404
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,521
My neck.
405
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:15,436
Oh, god, I think I
swallowed my Adam's apple.
406
00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:16,741
Boo!
407
00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:18,526
- Ow!
- Uh-oh.
408
00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:19,657
This feels lawsuit-y.
409
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:21,616
Uh, the club is canceled.
410
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:24,575
Everyone, back to regular gym.
411
00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:25,707
Ugh!
412
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:27,796
I'll go warm up
my dodgeball arm.
413
00:15:27,883 --> 00:15:30,668
If something happens, can
I have your baseball cards?
414
00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:36,370
If you're gonna
whup me again,
415
00:15:36,457 --> 00:15:38,154
can you wait until
I finish my algebra?
416
00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:40,200
It's hard to solve for Y
when all I can think about
417
00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:41,897
is why my butt stings.
418
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,855
I'm not gonna
whup you, but help
419
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:47,685
me understand, why is dressing
all grown so important to you?
420
00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:49,383
Remember my friend Sally?
421
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:51,211
She got a crop top,
and now everyone's
422
00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:52,516
paying more attention to her.
423
00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:54,214
I just feel kicked to the curb.
424
00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:56,825
I guess me bugging out
like I did at the pizza
425
00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:58,261
parlor didn't help.
426
00:15:58,348 --> 00:15:59,828
Yeah.
427
00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:01,917
When I saw you
wearing those clothes,
428
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:04,789
I was mad as hell, but I
was more upset that you
429
00:16:04,876 --> 00:16:06,182
went to Peaches
because you felt
430
00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:07,792
like you couldn't talk to me.
431
00:16:07,879 --> 00:16:09,446
I don't want you to
become like Peaches.
432
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:10,882
I don't wanna be Peaches!
433
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,362
Oh, thank god.
434
00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,712
I mean, Peaches has
some cute outfits,
435
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:18,629
but sometimes
she be looking crazy.
436
00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:20,370
So what do you want?
437
00:16:20,457 --> 00:16:22,807
I guess I just want my
friends to still respect me.
438
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:24,461
But I also wanna
wear what I want.
439
00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:26,811
But that crop top made
my belly feel cold.
440
00:16:26,898 --> 00:16:28,639
I don't know what to do.
441
00:16:28,726 --> 00:16:30,206
Well,
I'm glad you came to me.
442
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:32,295
Uh, you came in here.
443
00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,210
Tonya, do you want
me to fix this or not?
444
00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:35,385
Yes, fine, yes.
445
00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:37,344
OK.
446
00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:38,998
Well, here's what you're gonna
say to your little friends.
447
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:48,485
You know, you should really
eat something before dodgeball.
448
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:50,618
No, it's better to get
hit on an empty stomach.
449
00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:52,315
Are you sure?
450
00:16:52,402 --> 00:16:53,664
You got no muscle, so you
should have a little fat
451
00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:54,883
to absorb the blows.
452
00:16:56,537 --> 00:16:57,755
Isn't it better
to not have to deal
453
00:16:57,842 --> 00:16:59,148
with that selfish clown?
454
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:00,845
Yeah, I guess.
455
00:17:00,932 --> 00:17:02,891
You're better
off without him.
456
00:17:02,978 --> 00:17:05,633
Now you can get real good at
"Solitaire" or, like, thinking.
457
00:17:08,723 --> 00:17:09,637
Hey, Jerome.
458
00:17:09,724 --> 00:17:10,942
What are you doing here?
459
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,422
It just didn't
sit right with me
460
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,033
to give up on you
like that, brother.
461
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,469
There's something blocking you.
462
00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:16,905
We need to go deeper.
463
00:17:16,992 --> 00:17:18,341
Are you down for some hypnosis?
464
00:17:18,428 --> 00:17:20,343
You know how to do hypnosis?
465
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:21,692
I took a course.
466
00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:22,954
You don't think
I got aspirations?
467
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,521
Damn.
468
00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:26,523
At this point,
what have I got to lose?
469
00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:27,611
OK.
470
00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:30,179
Now follow the watch.
471
00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:31,615
Hey, that's my watch!
472
00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:32,964
You wanna be fixed or not?
473
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,966
Now follow the watch.
474
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:38,187
Follow the watch.
475
00:17:44,715 --> 00:17:47,022
Sweet baby Jesus!
476
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:48,589
- What are you looking at, son?
- What?
477
00:17:48,676 --> 00:17:50,199
You wanna go to hell?
478
00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:52,419
You're breaking one of
the Ten Commandments!
479
00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:56,510
Thou shalt not covet
thy neighbor's backside!
480
00:17:57,728 --> 00:17:59,295
That's it!
481
00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:02,168
My dad scared the love
of butts out of me!
482
00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:03,604
What do I do?
483
00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:04,996
I'll just hypnotize
that out of you.
484
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,955
Follow the watch.
485
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:09,523
Follow the watch.
486
00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:12,656
You were once blind,
but now you can see.
487
00:18:12,743 --> 00:18:16,356
Butts, bottoms, tushies,
booties,
488
00:18:16,443 --> 00:18:21,187
derrieres, dat ass.
489
00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,058
All right, moment of truth.
490
00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:24,538
Whose butt is this?
491
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:27,584
Pam Grier.
492
00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:30,196
And that one is
different than that one.
493
00:18:30,283 --> 00:18:32,285
I can see Pam Grier's butt!
494
00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:33,286
Yo, keep it down!
495
00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:34,896
Your wife might hear you.
496
00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:36,158
My wife?
497
00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:38,813
Baby, I'm coming for your ass!
498
00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:44,819
- Hey.
- Oh.
499
00:18:44,906 --> 00:18:46,864
Hey, Tonya.
500
00:18:46,951 --> 00:18:49,476
That was pretty crazy
the other day with your mom.
501
00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:53,001
Sorry, it's not funny.
502
00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:54,698
Nah, it's all right.
503
00:18:54,785 --> 00:18:56,396
Y'all haven't seen
her, have you?
504
00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:57,614
Your mom?
505
00:18:57,701 --> 00:18:58,615
No.
506
00:18:58,702 --> 00:18:59,747
Why?
507
00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:01,923
Here she comes.
508
00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:07,102
Why is she following you?
509
00:19:07,189 --> 00:19:09,539
She got me on a tight
watch because last night,
510
00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:11,498
I called her a bitch.
511
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:12,977
Whoa.
512
00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:13,935
Dang, Tonya.
513
00:19:14,022 --> 00:19:15,458
You're bad.
514
00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:16,981
Mind if I take
a sip of your soda?
515
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:26,904
Thank you.
516
00:19:26,991 --> 00:19:30,169
My girl is back on top.
517
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:31,779
Damn, I'm a good mother.
518
00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:32,780
Ooh-whee!
519
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:34,173
Look at that ass!
520
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:35,826
You catcalling mother--
521
00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:38,177
Julius, what are you doing?
522
00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:41,180
And why do you have that
goofy grin on your face?
523
00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:44,705
I'm seeing things
I've never seen before.
524
00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:46,402
You're just so fine.
525
00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:48,665
OK, Julius, calm down.
526
00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:51,102
Let's get you home.
527
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:57,544
It's so beautiful.
528
00:19:59,589 --> 00:20:02,636
With Greg injured,
I was on my own.
529
00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:06,117
Damn it, forgot my cup.
530
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:09,251
Do you want me to destroy
your left nut or right nut?
531
00:20:09,338 --> 00:20:10,774
Left.
532
00:20:10,861 --> 00:20:11,862
Oh!
533
00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:15,518
It's only lightly used.
534
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:16,563
Ow.
535
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,698
I realized Greg
wasn't the best friend,
536
00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:24,048
but he was a friend.
537
00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:27,313
And for now,
that was good enough.
538
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,924
By the way, I,
uh, got this for you
539
00:20:30,011 --> 00:20:32,666
since I know you couldn't
eat before dodgeball.
540
00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:33,797
both:
Can't play on a full stomach.
541
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,931
I'm sorry for
ruining our club.
542
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:39,063
I'll try to be a better friend.
543
00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:40,108
Thanks, Greg.
544
00:20:42,153 --> 00:20:44,460
Starting tomorrow,
I'll be a better friend.
545
00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:48,725
singers: ♪ Everybody
still hates Chris ♪
546
00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:57,343
Sally,
come back here, young lady.
547
00:20:57,430 --> 00:20:58,822
Tina, you OK?
548
00:20:58,909 --> 00:21:00,520
Sally just called me a bitch.
549
00:21:00,607 --> 00:21:03,697
Where is she picking
this stuff up?
550
00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:37,948
♪ MTV ♪
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