Original subtitles

RADIO HOST: How 'bout that saucy tune, huh?

Speaking of hot, it's a blazing 96 out there.

Careful of heat stroke, folks.

(MICROPHONE FEEDBACK)

ALL: Yuwen! Yuwen! Yuwen! Yuwen!

ROCHELLE: Let's go, everybody! Whoo!

CROWD: (CHANTING) Yuwen! Yuwen! Yuwen!

All right, Yuwen, we got this.

CROWD: Yuwen! Yuwen! Yuwen!

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Here comes the Yuwen Special!

-Order up! -(GRUNTS)

-FRANK: Strike! -(GROANS)

-FRANK: Strike! You're out! -(GASPS)

Next!

Eat this.

FRANK: Strike!

(ROARS)

(SNARLS)

Yeah!

Ahhh!

(CROWD CHEERING)

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

"Are you not entertained"? (GRUNTS)

FRANK: Out!

(CROWD CHEERING)

-ROCHELLE: Come on! -Thank you, folks.

I know. I'm amazing. You don't have to tell me.

(CHUCKLES) You mean, "Thanks, Taylor, for saving my butt, you're the best."

Taylor, please.

-I gotta give you all something to do. -Okay.

I don't wanna steal the limelight. You know I'm generous like that.

Whatever. It's not the Little Yuwen Show.

Roar! Did I do it right?

Huh. Whatever. (SCOFFS)

-(HEART THUMPING) -(MAN SINGING OPERA)

Please like me.

-(CROWD TRUMPETING) -(CLEARS THROAT)

All right, let's go, team! Score some runs!

Boy, watch the game.

TERRENCE: Laurie, you're up.

Come on, Laurie. If you hit this one, it'll be a miracle.

TAYLOR: (SINGING) Let's go, Laurie, let's go

TOM: Wait. No, he's not.

-I see why you do it, though. Gotcha. -TOM: Depressing!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have the Pickles dugout.

Taylor, could we get a quote about how much you adore Yuwen

and how the team would be nothing without him?

-In your own words. -You mean bottom-of-the-lineup Yuwen?

-(ALL CHUCKLING) -Dang!

KAI: She got you good. I'm sorry.

-(LAUGHS) -She got you.

(CRYING)

ROCHELLE: Let's go, Laurie!

Come on! You got this!

(SINGING) Good eye, good eye Get a hit, get a hit...

-(LAURIE GRUNTS) -(KIDS GASPING)

(LAURIE GROANING)

Every day is a new day to step up.

Yeah.

-To make the right decisions. -(LAUGHING)

COACH DAN: Okay, see you on Saturday for the championship.

-(BEAR GROWLS) -(CAT MEOWS)

(KIDS LAUGHING)

That's my favorite part.

Pure gold, right?

The sound effects were so good, though.

Don't be a jerk, Yuwen. Take it down.

Why? So many likes already.

COACH DAN: All right, parents. Parents? Huddle up. Parents, on me.

-I hate how much I love this. -COW: Beef!

-I know, right? -Help me.

COW: Beef!

-It's low-key hilarious. -Laurie has got to see this.

Hey, Laurie, did you see my scouting report?

You're Internet famous.

No!

Wow! You caught that. That's really good.

Yuwen, what the... Why would you post that?

'Cause it's comedy gold.

You're so immature!

Whatever. Hannah liked it.

I just like everything.

Grow up, you're not funny.

(ECHOING) You're not funny. You're not funny.

You're not funny.

(GRUNTING)

(FAINT LAUGHTER)

What a loser.

(SING-SONG) Loser!

-What a loser. -(LAUGHS)

He's such a loser!

ROCHELLE: You're just sad.

You're just a sad little boy who's picking on her because you like Laurie!

-(KIDS GASP) -I never knew...

-Wait, how long have they been together? -That makes sense.

-Classic, picking on the girl you like. -My mom owns a Dairy Queen.

If you want, we could grab a Blizzard sometime.

What? I don't like Laurie. I like Taylor.

I like Taylor!

(ECHOING) I like Taylor!

-(GASPS) -Oh.

What did I just do?

(THUDDING)

(CLEARS THROAT)

You heard me.

Huh?

I like Taylor.

(GASPS) Is this happening? Marry me!

Girl, you know that you love me. So, you wanna go out, or what?

Yeah, sure.

(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)

She loves me!

Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Awesome!

Uh, I think that's my bag.

It's okay.

What movie are you seeing?

I don't know, Squids and Trucks 7, or something.

Okay, what's the special occasion? (COUGHS)

Mom.

Why do you smell like that?

Mom. I'm a man now, so I smell like one.

MAMA WANG: Mommy will pick you up at 9:30.

Wow!

I should greet her. Hi, sweet Taylor.

Hey, Yuwen. You look nice.

Oh, wassup, my rad she-bro?

You don't have to front with me. Just be yourself. (CHUCKLES)

(SCREAMS)

I don't care if you're an octopus. You're family to me.

(WHIMPERS)

(MAN GRUNTS)

That was funny. We should let her know.

(CACKLES, CLEARS THROAT)

(GASPS)

TAYLOR'S HAND: Psst. Hold me.

(STRAINING)

(GRUNTING)

(PANTING, STRAINING)

(GRUNTING)

(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING)

-Did you hear about Yuwen and Taylor? -No way.

-Yeah, they're making it school official. -(GASPS)

(GASPING)

Hey, Taylor, study after school?

-No, thank you. We're busy. -I can't.

-(GIGGLES) -So happy for you two!

Not for the championship, or anything. Maybe by next season?

You really want my help?

I just want, you know, kind of, for fun?

Don't even mention it, I don't... 'Cause it's stupid.

No, it's not stupid.

I'm just surprised you wanna be a catcher.

Don't beat yourself up if you can't catch my heat at first.

I'm like the best pitcher in the state.

You know, kind of a big deal. Nice catch.

Seriously, Yuwen. Don't go easy on me, I need to learn.

Huh. Okay. Here comes the airplane. (IMITATES FLYING NOISES)

(GRUNTS, WHOOPS TRIUMPHANTLY)

Fine. Why did I even... (SIGHS) I'm going home, Yuwen.

-I'm so stupid. -Wait! Okay.

Okay, wait! I'll throw it for real.

(GASPS)

Whoa.

-Here you go. Thanks. -Thank you.

TAYLOR: And Ira's been, like, really struggling.

He keeps hanging out with the Bleacher Creatures.

-YUWEN: Whoa. -Yeah, I know.

I just... I really worry about him sometimes.

Don't worry, I'll talk to him.

-Really? -Yeah, of course.

And done.

Hey, Taylor. Since we're being honest...

Always be honest, Yuwen.

I wanna tell you something.

That I am the perfect human being, Yuwen!

-(IMITATING FANFARE) -Yuwen.

Just kidding. But this is something that I haven't told anyone,

-not even Kai. -Okay.

(SIGHS)

(CLEARS THROAT) This... Can I trust you?

Absolutely.

(GASPS)

Hi, this is the real me.

(GIGGLES)

Aw! (CHUCKLES)

And this is me.

Um, I do that when I'm nervous.

Taylor, you're amazing!

(BOTH GIGGLING)

(POP SONG PLAYING)

Ooh, get butterflies every time you're close

Been around the globe, but I ain't seen this before

It must be paradise

No there ain't no roads, it's just you and I

Ow! (CHUCKLES)

Make it up as we go, let's just improvise

The whole world just stops

Thank you.

"X" marks the spot

Oh, my, my, my, this must be paradise

I'm living, I'm living I can't deny

Shout out to Tay-Tay, the cutest girl in the school. Whoo-hoo!

-Fastball, again, full speed. -Okay, fastball.

-Throw me another! -Drop.

Now, rise ball.

-Changeup! -Changeup!

Curve! Inside. Out.

-Yeah! -Yes!

-Roar! -Roar!

-TAYLOR: That was such a good run! -(BOTH LAUGHING)

This must be paradise

Woo, hoo

(YUWEN HUMMING)

We both love music, and we like skating, and she laughs at all my jokes.

-Hey, steak or chicken? -Um, vegetarian?

Ew. Fine. Tay and I like meat.

And we like the city more than the country,

we want two kids, maybe three.

Jacob, Katherine and Aspen.

Wow, you're, like, a romantic now, huh? She's lucky to have you.

I'm lucky to have her.

Actually, I'm lucky to have her.

I think I like this Yuwen.

(CHUCKLES)

You're so sweet. Thank you.

Hey, Tay. You dropped your phone. Screen's good.

-You're so sweet. Thank you. -TOM: Me?

No, thank you. Uh, it's nothing.

No, really. Thank you.

-Taylor. Can I talk to you for a second? -(GIGGLES)

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

(TAYLOR CHUCKLING)

Okay, bye.

(GASPS)

-How's everything with your brother? -TOM: Oh, it's good.

I'm having a hard time focusing on school, though. It's...

I had a brother, too.

Absorbed him in the womb. There can only be one.

Not now, Yuwen. I'm here for you if you need anything.

Yeah, it's been really hard, and I could really use some tutoring.

-That's right, you do. -Seriously? Is that some kind of joke?

Wow, okay. So, you don't even have a sense of humor now?

It's okay. I'm just gonna go ask Rochelle.

Listen to me, I just need you to be serious sometimes.

(SONG PLAYING IN FRENCH)

-Parole, parole, parole -Écoute-moi

-Parole, parole, parole -Je t'en prie

-Parole, parole, parole -Je te jure

Parole, parole, parole, parole, parole

Encore des paroles que tu sèmes au vent

Je te regarde comme pour la première fois

LUCIANA: They should've never been together in the first place.

Why are they so angry? I don't get it.

-It's the championship. -So toxic.

I hate conflict.

Taylor says he's insecure.

(ECHOING) Insecure.

TOM: Hey, Tay, you dropped your phone.

-Screen's good. -Taylor says he's...

(ECHOING) Insecure.

TOM: Hey, Tay.

(SCREAMS)

Did Taylor tell you how she wants to take Rochelle's spot as catcher?

As if she's even good enough.

-Am I right, folks? -Hey, gang, has anyone seen Rochelle?

I was just with her mom, actually.

Well. Okay, she's probably just a little late.

So, we will need a catcher. Ooh. Bup, bup, bup, bup.

-Terrence. -Oh, no.

-Coach, I'll catch. -(SIGHS)

Is it possible that you're better than Rochelle at it?

I'm sorry, never mind.

Hey, Taylor!

Don't get nervous.

You better not puke. (CHUCKLES)

No! No! No!

(COUGHS, CLEARS THROAT)

(CROWD CHEERING)

-I'll see you on the field. -COACH DAN: On three!

-One, two, three! -PLAYERS: Pickles!

Ball.

MAN: Come on, let's go!

Hey!

That's not... Yuwen, stop!

-I'm serious. -Try to keep up.

Coach! Coach! We need to change pitchers.

-No! What are you doing? -TAYLOR: Coach?

I didn't mean...

BOY: No! MAN 1: Just catch the ball. Come on!

I did it!

WOMAN: Where's the good catcher?

MAN 2: This is ridiculous!

That's it. I'm done. We're done.

Grow up!

Please, Taylor! Come back!

Taylor! Where are you going? We're in the middle of a game.

Yuwen?

Time, Blue! Time! Give me time!

FRANK: I can't stop the play.

(CRYING)

(MELANCHOLY SONG PLAYING)

Guess my skin ain't really thick enough

Not the type to take a sucker punch real well

I spent my whole life try'na crowd please

Grinning with tears on my cheeks

Funny bone turning' black and blue

Someone must've let the air out of the room

'Cause now they're laughing so hard they can't breathe

Ha, ha, ha

Guess the joke's on me

All this talking out my neck I should respect you more

I threw it all away Then I went back, made sure

There's a hole in my heart like yours

It was my fault, my fault, something time can't cure

I know, deep in the abyss I go

We, we're cool 'til it all turned cold

Now I'm thinking it can't be

Ha, ha, ha

Guess the joke's on

Me

Joke is on me, yeah

Me

Joke is on me, yeah

Guess my skin ain't really thick enough

I'm not the type to take this sucker punch real well

I spent my whole life try'na crowd please

Take a look around, yeah the joke's on

Me

Wanna run away, but I just freeze

Ha, ha, ha

Yeah, the joke's on me