Original subtitles

(OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

RADIO HOST: How 'bout that saucy tune? Huh?

Speaking of hot, it's a blazin' 96 out there.

Enjoy the game, okay?

-Get away from me! It burns! Stop! -Hey! No! Come here!

(AIR HORN BLOWING)

Oh! (GIGGLES)

Go, Roshie! Whoo!

Strike!

Ba-ba-ba... Ball!

Strike!

Ball.

Strike!

Infield fly!

You're out!

Yeah, hi. Yeah, you've gotta go now. No, it's good, you did good.

Ball!

-Safe! -FIELD UMPIRE: Safe!

(CROWD CHEERING)

(GRUNTS)

You're out!

-Ooh. -ROCHELLE: Kai, home!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, out! Whoo! And that's game.

(SINGING) Goodbye!

-Are you even watching this game? -Make a better choice!

KERIN: You are a villain!

(CROWD BOOING)

(THUDDING)

(WARBLING)

I stand by my call. That's game.

-Pickles, five-four. -PICKLES: Yay!

-Whoo! Whoo! Whoo-hoo! -It's so mean!

MAN: Are you blind?

WOMAN: This is the worst call in the history of sports!

How do you expect to win if you never play the game?

It's easy to make a call from the sidelines.

It's a lot harder when you're on the field.

Hey, Blue, I just want to say, that was some great officiating out there.

-I know it was a tough call, but... -Nope! Just doing my job.

Not a tough call at all. It was a fair one.

Hey, Frankie. You like that catch?

Completely impartial. I don't know her.

Bye, Rochelle.

Hey, Blue. Great job out there today. Want a pretzel? It's on the house.

I don't take bribes.

You just wait right there, I'm just gonna talk to him.

Look, I'm not embarrassing anyone.

Look, I'm being normal, I'm being-- Hey! Don't you walk away from me.

You know what? I hope-- I hope you never find human love, sir!

FRANK: Thanks for the feedback.

That's what you get for being the best.

(THUDS)

(SIGHS IN RELIEF)

Evening, madam.

Hi, Mom.

Hello, shy Henry.

Fine, then. Keep your secrets.

(FRANK GROWLS)

(SIZZLING)

(LAUGHS)

(CLEARS THROAT) All right, folks, this is the big one.

I want all eyes on papers with complete focus.

That means no cellular phones, no calculation machines,

no tik taks, no snap pants, and no yeeting.

You have 20 minutes. Begin.

(RATTLING)

Oh.

(CHAIR CREAKING)

Uh.

(SNORES, GASPS)

Huh?

-(GASPS) Unacceptable! -(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

Not in my classroom.

-ROCHELLE: Frankie... -"Mr. Brown."

What... What do you think you saw?

Let me paint you a picture. It's test time.

It is heads down, pencils up. I'm on you like a meerkat,

popping up everywhere. Pop. Pop. Poppity pop.

But you've got a piece of paper. And you were gonna pass it.

But I was there. I'm always there. What have you got to say?

Um...

No credit, detention. I'll be calling your guardians.

Okay, so I know what you think you saw, but I was just stretching.

Hmm.

No, I don't buy it. You both were caught.

-I stand by my call. -Wait. This is so unfair!

-Hmm? -(KAI GRUNTS)

-Frankie... -"Mr. Brown."

You made a mistake.

I'll continue this conversation with your mother.

Hey, Frank! Wanna go get lunch?

We're gonna try out that new fusion taco truck.

Oh, yeah, let's go! We're done here, Rochelle.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

"The knight knelt down and removed his heavy helmet, and said,

-"'From the moment...'" -Um, it's the last page. Do the voices.

(CLEARS THROAT, POSH ACCENT) "'From the moment I laid eyes on you... '"

-Stop! I can't take you seriously! -(NORMAL VOICE) Sorry, sorry, okay.

"'From the moment I laid eyes on you,

"'I knew that you'd be the woman I would spend the rest of my life with.'"

Frank, do you wanna get married?

Um, I think... I just think it's too soon.

I mean, I'm not, I'm not ready. Maybe someday, but I--

Okay, sure!

Whenever you are ready, pal.

We'll pick you up a quesadilla sushi roll.

Okay. That was awkward.

Listen, Frankie, I'mma be honest with you.

You really messed it up by leaving Ms. Park.

It's not as... My private life is none of your business.

Dude. You gotta move on.

-Out. Scoot! It's my lunchtime now. -All right.

-It's my sacred time. Thank you. -Okay. Nothing to be ashamed about.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Uh...

(SQUEAKS)

Mmm. She's right. Okay, I'm not one to pry,

but when I see sad puppies, I gotta help those sad puppies.

Francis, stop getting in my business. I'm perfectly happy with my life.

-Ah! -Mmm-hmm.

Whatever you say.

You know I know everything that goes on at this school, right?

And donesies. Here you go. I downloaded a dating app for you.

-What? Hey, give me my phone. -You're welcome.

So, think of it like a game, but like a risk-free game

that will just totally fix your very broken life.

Ugh. My life doesn't need fixing.

Hey, how does it work?

(CHUCKLES)

-Okay. You just build your profile. -(SCREAMS)

FRANCIS: Likes, dislikes, a few cute pics...

-Yeah, not cute. -FRANCIS: This one. This will do.

Yeah, okay. Hey, don't go through my photos.

-That's not for you! -FRANCIS: How old are you? Like, 40?

-What? I'm 32. -FRANCIS: Really?

-Wait, really? For reals? Really? -(FRANK GRUNTS)

Excuse me. Please leave.

Toodles.

(OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

Changela, I love you,

but my nature... I can never be with you

-without hurting you. -I'll take that risk.

LENA: Frank! Your single!

Here you go, Frank, your single soy latte.

I was so excited for you to come in today, Frank!

Ah, I just ca-- I couldn't wait. I couldn't wait, Frank. I couldn't wait.

Here's your coffee! Extra hot.

Wow. (STUTTERS) Thanks, Lena.

Okay, Frank. See you tomorrow, hopefully.

(HUMMING)

Hey, (CLEARS THROAT) Lena...

Frank, I bet you're about to say something funny. You kill me.

Wow, that's a lot of pressure. Uh... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

-Hey, hey, hey, hey, do you... -LENA: Wait, yeah, huh?

-Hey, do you... -You're gonna have to speak up.

Breathe from your stomach and then be loud.

-Do you wanna have a coffee? -Yeah, I just had some.

Suddenly, I have five screenplay ideas.

Right. Yeah.

(STUTTERS) Do you want to have coffee with...

-Uh... -Oh, um, with you? Like, on a date?

-Well, uh, yeah... -Man, I've...

-Yeah, you probably don't want to. -Bleh! Bleh!

-Yeah. I gotta go, anyway. -I was trying to get you a coffee.

-I was being nice. -Yeah. Got my coffee.

Oh, God, I can't believe this happened again.

-(YELLS) Hot! Hot. -Oh, uh, um...

-Hot, hot! -Is everything okay? Do you need water?

I don't know if we have water.

No, I prefer the burn.

Nobody laugh at Frank and stare at Frank.

-Seriously, guys. Stop. He's hurt. -Uh, good coffee. Hot.

Leave him alone.

He's like a younger brother to me, you guys.

Yeah, I gotta go. I'll go. I'll go. I'll go.

(THUDS)

Probably gonna hit the gym and do a workout.

Yeah, bye.

I have a small iced coffee for a "Seen"? Sean.

Your name's Sean. I'm so sorry. Have a great day, Seen... Sean. I'm sorry.

(SIGHS)

(CLATTERS)

(SCREAMS)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(GASPS)

Making this fake version of yourself...

"I am"

"an independent person."

(GRUNTS)

Hmm.

Uh, no.

I'm called Frank. I'm independent. I like pizza.

Uh... No.

Oh, sorry. No, I don't think so.

Okay.

She does look nice.

(DINGS)

-What are you doing this weekend? -FRANK: Um...

(GRUNTS) I don't know. I have no life. Grading exams?

(FRANK READING)

Just heaps of stuff.

Very busy. How about you?

Stupid game. I don't need a buffet of options. I know what I like.

-Let me see that. -What? Hey, give me my phone.

Frankie-poo. It's not that difficult.

-(SIGHS) "Pizza"? -(GASPS)

Oh, come on, now. This just breaks my heart. Have you stopped trying?

It's over? Frank, you aren't even trying. Why are you being so defensive?

-I've made my decision. -FRANCIS: Hey, hello.

Do you want this or do you not, my friend? Do you want it?

Uh, yeah. Uh, yes, of course.

Look, I'm fully invested now. Okay? You've got me fully invested.

I am in. Are you in? I'm your wingman, Frank, I'm not leaving you...

I'm called Frank. I'm independent, but trying to be open to new experiences.

(GRUNTS)

And a heart for you.

Sure, why not, cool. Not for you.

Oh.

(DINGS)

Would you ever want to be abducted by aliens?

-Who's to say I haven't been already? -(LAUGHS)

You're funny.

(WOMAN READING)

Oh, wow. Um... Uh...

I read romantic sci-fi novels?

(WOMAN READING)

(GASPS) You? What do you do for fun?

-WOMAN: I love to cook. -Me, too. I love to cook.

What's your favorite dish?

WOMAN: Have you read Quantum Innocence?

FRANK: Have I... Are you crazy?

I wrote my own sequel where no one was innocent.

-(WOMAN CHUCKLES) -FRANK: You like that, too?

Yeah, and I just... Finally, I left him.

Well, have you ever had your heart broken?

FRANK: I think I broke my own heart. I broke things off before she could.

(SIGHS) Heavy. You know, I like talking to you.

BOTH: Whoa!

(RUMBLING)

(LAUGHS)

FRANK: Oh, yeah, cute!

(LAUGHS)

WOMAN: So, what are you up to this weekend?

(ALARM BLARING)

(SIGHS)

Do you wanna get spaghetti?

-I'm free Friday... -MONICA: Frankie?

Oh. Uh...

-Hi. -Um, is this a bad time?

Yes. I... I mean, no. I have a parent-teacher conference, but...

Um... How are you?

Uh... I'm, uh...

-Uh... -So, um, I, um...

-I've been meaning to tell you... -Buenos días, hello! It is me. I am here.

-Traffic was a nightmare! -You know what? (CHUCKLES)

Never mind. Good luck with the parent-teacher conference. Bye!

Have you ever honked your horn before? Really laid on it? Like...

-"Beep!" -Uh...

I mean, what a rush!

Right. As I said, Rochelle was involved

in a cheating incident. Usually the disciplinary...

Beep. Beep! Let me stop you.

Rochelle said she didn't cheat, so she didn't cheat.

Of course she said she didn't do anything.

(NECK CRACKING)

Walk me through what you think happened.

Um, well, she was in the class. Everybody's taking the test,

-I'm watching them like a hawk. -Mmm.

It is heads up, pencils down, but she's got a piece of paper.

-And she was gonna pass it... -Mmm.

Passing or about to pass?

About to pass.

Was she or was she not in possession of the cheat sheet?

She was near it and I assumed...

"Assumed"? So, you assumed guilt?

-Yes. I mean, no... -Uh, uh, uh.

Rochelle said that another kid asked her to pass it.

Do you know what you are doing?

FRANK: I thought I knew what I was doing, what I wanted...

But lately, I'm second-guessing myself.

VAN: The wrong time.

You don't wanna regret making the wrong call here.

I already do.

I feel like I've made a big mistake. I shouldn't have been quick to call it...

Exactly! She's right again, folks!

(GRUNTS) Oh, oh...

Look at me. Doing the most. "Vanextra."

Listen, the first step is just admitting you made the error.

It's never too late to make the right call.

Hey, Vanessa, I'm sorry I wasted your time.

Nah, you didn't. It was nice to talk to an actual adult for once.

You know, I gotta tell you, you're Rochelle's favorite teacher.

She says you're tough, but you're fair.

And she loves your accent. She thinks it's hilarious. (CHUCKLES)

Good on ya! Goodbye.

(CHUCKLES)

I'm sorry. I realized I haven't moved on from my ex.

But I'd love to be friends.

I'm coming, Monica!

Uh...

(YELPS, SCREAMS)

Here you go, I got this. I got this, Frank.

Keep going. Keep going.

I believe in you!

Fly, Frank, fly!

-(SCREAMS) -(GASPS)

(EXCLAIMING)

Yeah!

-I'm rooting for you! Whoo! -All right, Frank!

MAN: Go, go, go!

WOMAN 1: Rainbows and unicorns!

WOMAN 2: Be emotionally vulnerable!

(SIGHS)

MONICA: Guess who isn't single? (CHUCKLES)

I am locked down! Whoo!

(VOICE FADES) He sealed the deal.

(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)

(SNIFFLING)

(AIR HORN BLOWS)

(CROWD GASPS)

LUCIANA: Oh, my gosh, Laurie, are you okay?

Safe.

No regrets

Although our love affair has gone astray

No regrets

I know I'll always care though you're away

So now our happy romance ended suddenly

Still in my heart, you'll be forever mine

No regrets

Because somebody new looks good to you

No regrets

Sweetheart, no matter what you say or do

I know our love will linger

When the other love forgets

So I say goodbye with no regrets

I know our love will linger

When the other love forgets

So I say goodbye

With no regrets

LENA: I have a caramel macchiato, iced, for a Bed?

That can't be right. For Ed?

I have a lemonade iced tea for a Misheel?

Sorry, I said that with so much confidence.

With a Michael? For a Michael.