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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
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Charlie? Where's Charlie?
2
00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:05,913
Check the living room.
3
00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,799
- Charlie, guess what?
- Somebody call me?
4
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,752
Not me.
5
00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:14,234
He's not in the living room.
6
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,032
- Try his bedroom.
- Thanks.
7
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:17,758
Charlie, you gotta see this.
8
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,713
Are you sure nobody's calling me?
9
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:21,714
Wouldn't I tell you?
10
00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:26,511
Berta, he's not in his room.
11
00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:29,513
- What?
- I said, he's not in his room.
12
00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,473
What?
13
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,269
- Did you find him?
- He's not up there.
14
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:38,194
- Try Jake's room.
- What'd he be doing in Jake's room?
15
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,118
Hey, I'm just trying to help.
16
00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:43,552
I'm sorry. Charlie!
17
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,038
I'm sure I heard something.
18
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:48,835
I don't know what to tell you.
19
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,554
I could do this all day.
20
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:08,354
Charlie.
21
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:09,794
Hey, Alan.
22
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,793
- Didn't you hear me calling you?
- Oh, that was you.
23
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,070
Of course it was me.
Who else would it be?
24
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:16,838
Don't snap at me.
25
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,956
I've been running all over
looking for you.
26
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,394
Well, I was right here.
27
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,074
I know that now.
28
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,476
Hey, that's no reason
to have a hissy fit.
29
00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,598
Hissy fit? This is not a hissy fit.
30
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:32,510
Say it higher, Alan. A couple of dogs
in the neighborhood didn't hear you.
31
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:35,992
I'm all done. I'm going home now.
32
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:37,434
- Thank you.
- Good night.
33
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,036
Good night, my pets.
34
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:43,599
Now that you've managed to find me,
what do you want?
35
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:46,991
There was something I was excited
to show you, but now I don't want to.
36
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,594
- I'm okay with that.
- So am I.
37
00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,352
Oh, come on. You gotta see this.
38
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,476
All right. Fine.
39
00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:56,718
Hey. Wait a minute.
40
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,677
Did Berta know you were out here?
41
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,638
Very mature, Alan. Blame the maid.
42
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,713
Oh, you bought a Porsche.
43
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,556
"Porsche." What do you think?
44
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:14,593
It's cute.
45
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,154
What do you mean, cute?
46
00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:18,834
I mean, it looks like my car's
hot little girlfriend.
47
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:24,110
Are you saying this is a chick car?
Because it isn't. It's a Porsche.
48
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:25,919
Yeah. The cute little one.
49
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,511
No, no, no. It's the sporty one.
50
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,511
If your sport is girls' basketball.
51
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:35,475
No, no, it's got the fuel injection,
and the rack and the pinion...
52
00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:37,949
...and the leather thingy
to cover the hood.
53
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:40,032
That's called a bra, Alan.
54
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,834
Yeah, but it's made of leather.
55
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,354
- All right. Whatever.
- It is not a chick car.
56
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,557
The salesman showed me brochures
with pictures of guys driving it.
57
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,395
Alan, if a monkey walked
into the dealership...
58
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:55,199
...he'd have been shown
pictures of monkeys driving it.
59
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,110
Monkeys can't drive a stick.
60
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:03,150
Now, come on.
We'll go for a spin, pick up Jake.
61
00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,436
Where'd you get the money for this?
62
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:06,589
Where'd you get it...
63
00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:09,752
...because they're not cheap.
- No, no, they are not.
64
00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:14,712
Where'd you get the money for this?
65
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,752
The money. Where'd you get it?
66
00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:21,275
Oh, I got it from...
67
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:25,111
- What?
- I got a loan from...
68
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,036
Alan, where'd the money come from?
69
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,716
I found it.
70
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,795
- Alan?
- Mom.
71
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,030
You traded your soul for a Porsche.
72
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:42,239
I didn't trade my soul,
and it's "Porsche."
73
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,153
Alan, why didn't you come to me?
74
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,878
No, I already owe you so much.
75
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,679
You won't let me pay rent
and you pay all the utilities.
76
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:51,996
Keeping that in mind,
did you ever consider...
77
00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,754
...taking the money from Mom
and paying me back?
78
00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,712
No, not really.
79
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:03,716
Come on. Let me show you
what this baby can do.
80
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:12,349
Well, what do you know?
Monkeys can drive a stick.
81
00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:17,795
You know, the salesman was right.
82
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:20,269
You really do feel special
in one of these things.
83
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:23,398
Oh, yeah. Probably not a lot
of middle-aged, divorced guys...
84
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,755
...driving around L.A. In a Porsche.
85
00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:28,350
"Porsche."
86
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,715
Oh, wait, I forgot to show you
the best part.
87
00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:38,438
Alan, that's a NASCAR hat.
88
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:40,636
Yeah, they were
out of the Porsche hats.
89
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,917
I wanted something that said speed
and performance, so I got this.
90
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:47,914
What you should be wearing
is a hat with a propeller on top.
91
00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:50,078
Come on, open her up.
92
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,276
The first 1000 miles
is the break-in period.
93
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,237
You're not supposed to go over 65.
94
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:55,799
Well, then go 65.
95
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,349
The speed limit is 60.
You want me to get a ticket?
96
00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,875
Alan, you're driving
an expensive red sports car.
97
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:04,396
If you're not getting tickets and tail,
you might as well take the bus.
98
00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,994
Which, by the way, just passed us.
99
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:11,071
I am going plenty fast,
thank you very much.
100
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:12,832
Can we at least put the top down?
101
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:16,356
No, I wanna trap the new-car smell in
as long as I can.
102
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,954
Man, are you anal-retentive.
103
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:22,999
You need a bumper sticker that reads,
"My other car is a puckered rectum."
104
00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:28,192
Oh, yeah. Like I'd desecrate this car
with a bumper sticker.
105
00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:36,270
God, I love that sound.
106
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:43,035
Will you stop it?
107
00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:59,316
Jake, your dad's here.
Where's your car?
108
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,869
Oh, my car? My car is...
109
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:05,314
...right there.
110
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:08,153
- You got a Porsche?
- "Porsche."
111
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,716
I have to struggle to make ends meet,
and you can buy a Porsche?
112
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,198
What are you talking about?
Your ends have not only met...
113
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,954
...they've been to Hawaii
and remodeled the kitchen.
114
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:23,714
Don't change the subject.
How can you afford a fancy car?
115
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:26,510
Well, I can't afford it, really.
116
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,312
Maybe I have to call my attorney.
117
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:31,233
And re-examine our whole
alimony/child-support agreement.
118
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:33,197
No, no, you don't.
119
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,960
It wasn't very expensive.
120
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,390
This is the girl version. Right, Charlie?
121
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:44,712
Oh, yeah, yeah. You've gotta kiss it
before you can even stick the key in.
122
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:48,316
Judith, you have nothing to worry about.
You've successfully sucked me dry.
123
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:51,040
Absolutely. This guy's farting dust.
124
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,555
Then where'd he get
the money for the car?
125
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:55,873
He borrowed it from our mother.
126
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:58,270
Give me a break.
Even Alan's not that stupid.
127
00:06:58,440 --> 00:06:59,953
Oh, but he is.
128
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,475
I am. I swear to God.
129
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,830
- Hey, cool car. Is it yours?
- Yeah.
130
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,829
We're gonna have to talk
about my allowance.
131
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,391
Okay, well, have a nice weekend.
132
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:19,679
Wait a minute. That's a two-seater.
Where's he gonna sit?
133
00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:27,199
And you didn't believe
he was that stupid.
134
00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:36,919
We're going way over
the speed limit.
135
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:40,959
Let me worry about that.
You just keep looking for cops.
136
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,872
I don't usually take a cab.
137
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:55,796
I drive a red Boxster.
You know, Porsche.
138
00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,675
- Those are very nice.
- Thank you.
139
00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:00,910
My sister has one.
140
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,959
- Hey, Berta. You seen my brother?
- Did you check his room?
141
00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:10,833
Thanks.
142
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:15,559
Sweetie, it is a beautiful car.
Congratulations.
143
00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:19,474
- Thanks, Mom. I'm really enjoying it.
- Well, your Aunt Sylvia loves hers.
144
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,519
Berta, have you seen Charlie?
145
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:23,033
Look out on the deck.
146
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,390
- I was looking for you.
- I was in the garage.
147
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,755
- I was looking for you.
- I was looking for Alan.
148
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,478
I was in the garage.
149
00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:36,793
Okay. Bye.
150
00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:43,154
Oh, sure. Blame the maid.
151
00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:48,348
Oh, Alan, before I forget,
I need to ask you for a little favor.
152
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,358
Your soul, please.
153
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:52,677
Charlie, for God's sake...
154
00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:55,274
Careful. I don't think
you're allowed to say "God"...
155
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,590
...without bursting into flames
or something.
156
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,640
Shush with your antichrist humor.
157
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:02,950
It's getting old.
158
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,793
Alan, I'd like you to join me
for dinner tomorrow night.
159
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,918
- Why?
- I'm dating a man I'd like you to meet.
160
00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:10,834
And?
161
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,508
He has a lovely daughter about your age.
162
00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:15,750
Sayeth the serpent.
163
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:21,116
No. Mom, please, please,
please, no blind dates.
164
00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:25,398
Why not? She's a sweet girl
and I think you might really hit it off.
165
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:29,115
- Why can't Charlie go out with her?
- Hey, she didn't buy me a car.
166
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,798
This has absolutely nothing
to do with the car.
167
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,309
Besides, I want
to get closer to this man.
168
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,829
Should the time come
when I want an ugly breakup...
169
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,468
...I'll let you
take a crack at his daughter.
170
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,358
I'm sorry, Mom. But I'd rather not.
171
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:45,398
Alan, I bought you a car.
172
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,520
I love the smell of brimstone
in the morning.
173
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,077
Tomorrow night, 8:00, Le Pissoir.
174
00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,800
- I really appreciate this, darling.
- Sure.
175
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:03,112
Oh, one more thing. She's been
through a rough patch lately...
176
00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:05,999
...so we won't be ordering alcohol.
177
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,195
Bye-bye.
178
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:16,473
No, really. She sounds great.
179
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,233
Looks like my mom and your dad
are running a little late.
180
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,832
Typical.
181
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:36,511
Yeah. So you're in town
for the weekend. Where do you live?
182
00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:38,957
Palm Springs.
183
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,236
That's nice.
How long have you lived there?
184
00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:44,630
Forty-two days, so far.
185
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:47,039
Forty-two days?
186
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:50,638
Yeah. This is my first weekend pass.
187
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:57,753
I was supposed to get one at 30,
but I bit a guy.
188
00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:01,713
- Would you like a cocktail?
- No, no, no cocktails. No.
189
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,394
- No, that's all right. You can have one.
- No, I'm fine.
190
00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:06,630
- Oh, please. Go ahead.
- No. I don't think...
191
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,837
Order a drink, damn it.
I wanna smell it.
192
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,597
We're fine. Maybe just a fizzy water.
193
00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,393
So, what do you do?
194
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:21,679
I'm a chiropractor.
195
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,917
Really? Can you prescribe stuff?
196
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,119
No.
197
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,633
Did you hear that?
198
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,396
- It's my phone.
- Oh, thank God.
199
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:42,670
Hello? Oh, hey, Mom. Where are you?
200
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,831
Yes, she's here.
201
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:49,710
Yes, very sweet. Where are you?
202
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:53,312
Trudy, Trudy, there's no smoking.
203
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:58,119
Oh, that's just great.
Just jim-freaking-dandy.
204
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:03,679
You guys are coming, right?
Well, what am I supposed to do?
205
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,956
Yes, I know you bought me a car.
206
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,833
All right, all right. All right. Goodbye.
207
00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,952
Apparently, your father mixed up
his heart pills with his Viagra...
208
00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,350
...and they didn't wanna
waste the opportunity.
209
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,353
So he's not coming?
210
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,557
Well...
211
00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:28,272
Perfect. Just perfect.
212
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,477
That son of a bitch
never cared about me.
213
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:32,914
Trudy, Trudy...
214
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:37,992
He'd rather spend the night
with some old hose bag.
215
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,277
That old hose bag is my mother...
216
00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:45,000
...and there's still no smoking in here.
I'm sorry.
217
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:48,232
Careful. I bit the last guy
who tried to touch me.
218
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,959
Yeah, well, that doesn't mean
we can't have a nice meal.
219
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,674
I'll call the waiter.
220
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:03,228
Hello, hello.
Yeah, we're ready to order.
221
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,951
Remind me to get some clean urine
from you before we go.
222
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,313
- Two hundred forty pounds...
- What are you doing?
223
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,472
Picking off the pepperonis.
224
00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:24,871
Then why'd you order it
with pepperonis?
225
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,276
I like to stack them up
and eat them in bed.
226
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:33,640
Hello? Hey, Mom.
227
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,392
No, Dad's not here. He's on a date.
228
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,634
Hang on. Uncle Charlie's talking to me.
Yeah?
229
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:41,950
Don't tell your mom
your father's on a date.
230
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,111
- It's none of her business.
- Okay.
231
00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,191
He's not on a date.
232
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,275
Hang on. She wants to talk to you.
233
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,836
Uncle Charlie's not here.
234
00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:57,838
Give me that.
235
00:13:58,080 --> 00:13:59,832
Hey, Judith. What's up?
236
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,998
Well, he's not a bright kid.
What do you want from me?
237
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:06,678
I don't know where Alan is.
238
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,637
Would you like me
to give him a message?
239
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,268
Because who knows?
Maybe this time I will.
240
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,078
No message.
241
00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:18,511
How come it's a secret
Dad's on a date?
242
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:23,113
It's not. It's just never a good idea to tell
women more than they need to know.
243
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:24,753
How come?
244
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,150
Because we love them
and want to protect them.
245
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:29,117
A clueless woman is a happy woman.
246
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,670
- Can I have your pepperonis?
- No.
247
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,396
Batman!
248
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,837
Come on. Come on, Trudy.
Come on. Come on.
249
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,594
- Let's get you back to the Batcave...
- Oh, right.
250
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,637
...or whatever cave
you crawled out of.
251
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:58,555
Thank you, kind sir.
You are indeed a gentleman.
252
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:02,110
Allow me to reward you.
253
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:12,791
A salty! I shall now need a slice of lime
and a carafe of tequila.
254
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,237
No, thank you. No, no, we're fine.
255
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,039
Hey, come on, Trudy.
Let's take you home.
256
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,988
Okay. But we'll have to be
really quiet...
257
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:26,278
...because my roommate is detoxing,
so she's kind of a light sleeper.
258
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,510
No, no, I meant home to your father.
259
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,875
Oh, God.
260
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,110
Daddy!
261
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:39,798
Oh, I'm such a disappointment to you.
262
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:44,238
Hey, your aftershave has alcohol in it.
263
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:54,838
So why is Dad's car a chick car?
264
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,439
It's not really. I was just saying that
to bust his chops.
265
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,590
Chops are your nuts, right?
266
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:05,753
Right.
267
00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:08,076
Mom said it's a midlife-crisis car.
268
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,917
Well, she was bound to be right
about something eventually.
269
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,558
What's a midlife crisis?
270
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:21,270
Well, Jake, it's when a man
starts facing his own mortality...
271
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:23,670
...and tries to recapture his youth.
272
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,516
I've had one of those.
273
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,552
Do tell.
274
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,718
Life was so much simpler
when I was 6.
275
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,157
Hello? Hey, Dad.
276
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,709
Listen, don't worry
about your midlife crisis.
277
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:44,758
They usually go away
over summer vacation.
278
00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,954
He wants to talk to you.
Are you here?
279
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,316
Yeah. Whoa, slow down.
280
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,391
Well, how drunk is she?
281
00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:00,598
Really? Batman drunk?
282
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,069
Well, just dump her
with Mom and her father.
283
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:06,593
Where are they?
284
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:09,757
Viagra and a bad ticker.
285
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,480
Mom loses more boyfriends that way.
286
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,792
Alan, calm down, calm down.
Listen to me. Here's what you do:
287
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,439
Take her to a club...
288
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,672
...pin a warning note on her back
as a courtesy to the next guy...
289
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,796
...and run like hell.
290
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:27,110
Well, if you don't want my advice,
why'd you call me?
291
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,353
Okay, how about this:
292
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,193
Put the top down
and let the night air sober her up.
293
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,989
What's plan B?
294
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:45,551
How come you don't have
a date tonight?
295
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:47,517
I decided I'd rather hang out with you.
296
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:49,352
- Really?
- No.
297
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,597
You're saying that to bust my chops.
298
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:54,759
No.
299
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,110
- Hey.
- Hey.
300
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,271
- How was your date?
- Oh, lots of fun.
301
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,994
- Think you'll marry her?
- Doubtful. Charlie?
302
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,068
What happened?
You take her to a club and ditch her?
303
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:10,753
- No, I couldn't do that.
- Why not?
304
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,558
Well, it's cheesy and immoral...
305
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:15,917
...and I'm really not comfortable
having some valet touch my car.
306
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,477
- So where is she?
- In the garage.
307
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,358
- Oh, Alan.
- Well, she passed out.
308
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,398
- I figured I'd let her sleep it off.
- You left her in your car?
309
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,073
Why not?
310
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,516
Well, at least she left
the garage door open.
311
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:51,352
It's a red Porsche Boxster
with dealer plates.
312
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:56,235
"Porsche."
Yeah, about an hour ago.
313
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,073
Hey, Dad, check it out.
Your car's on TV.
314
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,231
I'll call you back.
315
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,552
- chase so far. The suspect wasfirst spotted in Malibu...
316
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,312
... on the Pacific Coast Highway...
317
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,914
... and is now southboundon the 405 freeway.
318
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:15,519
Oh, God!
319
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:19,156
Don't worry. I've watched
hundreds of these. They never make it.
320
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:22,915
- she just ran over the nail stripsthat the Highway Patrol laid out.
321
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,470
Oh, man, look at the sparks.
322
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,434
That's because
she's riding on rims, Jake.
323
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,319
You gotta like
how your car handles without tires.
324
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,592
Oh, God!
325
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:35,398
Whoa, that was a close call.
326
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:39,599
She sideswiped that SUVand kept right on going.
327
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,876
What's that dragging
alongside Dad's car?
328
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:44,270
I think that's the door.
329
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,717
- Cool.
- Oh, God!
330
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,758
Dale, this is Trish in the studio.Can you see the suspect?
331
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,353
How do you know it's a woman?
332
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:54,909
Well, Trish, we actuallydon 't know it's a woman...
333
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:58,914
... but thought it was a safe betbased on the type of car.
334
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:02,271
It's not a chick car.
335
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,832
Relax, Dad.
He's just busting your chops.
336
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,591
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group
337
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,751
[ENGLISH]
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