Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:02,449 --> 00:00:03,863
Can't we just go home?
2
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:06,756
If I gotta drag you to the doctor
at 8 in the morning...
3
00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:09,051
...you can cool your jets
while I get coffee.
4
00:00:09,222 --> 00:00:10,685
I must look like an idiot.
5
00:00:10,895 --> 00:00:12,476
Wish I could tell you different.
6
00:00:12,693 --> 00:00:15,867
You're the reason we went
to the eye doctor in the first place.
7
00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:18,042
You said,
"Throw me a piece of toast."
8
00:00:20,094 --> 00:00:21,758
I threw you a piece of toast.
9
00:00:22,686 --> 00:00:24,434
Two cups of regular coffee, please.
10
00:00:25,111 --> 00:00:27,787
- My treat.
- Oh, that makes up for everything.
11
00:00:27,954 --> 00:00:31,331
Pigeons can feed out of my eye socket,
but I get a free cup of coffee.
12
00:00:33,139 --> 00:00:35,933
Just the coffee. Keep the change.
13
00:00:36,442 --> 00:00:39,022
I'm gonna need your help
until I get this patch off.
14
00:00:39,243 --> 00:00:41,788
I am absolutely there for you.
15
00:00:43,843 --> 00:00:45,721
Great.
16
00:00:50,031 --> 00:00:51,314
Great. So...
17
00:00:51,494 --> 00:00:54,455
So you'll drive me to work,
pick me up, get Jake at school...
18
00:00:54,672 --> 00:00:57,514
...do the grocery shopping...
- Okay, I may have misspoken.
19
00:00:57,682 --> 00:01:01,226
Charlie, you have to.
You know I can't drive.
20
00:01:05,877 --> 00:01:08,172
I don't see why not.
21
00:01:10,393 --> 00:01:12,605
- Oh, look who's here.
- Who?
22
00:01:13,069 --> 00:01:15,483
A girl I used to go out with.
Over there.
23
00:01:16,498 --> 00:01:17,960
Hey, Sherri.
24
00:01:18,128 --> 00:01:21,256
- Hey, Charlie, long time.
- Yeah. Good to see you.
25
00:01:21,431 --> 00:01:23,095
- This is my brother, Alan.
- Hi.
26
00:01:23,271 --> 00:01:25,019
- Hi.
- What happened to your eye?
27
00:01:25,487 --> 00:01:27,949
Well, I wanted
a piece of toast, and...
28
00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:29,833
Bar fight.
29
00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:33,343
- Nice to meet you.
- Well, nice meeting you too.
30
00:01:33,557 --> 00:01:36,315
- Good to see you, Charlie.
- Good to see you too.
31
00:01:38,323 --> 00:01:40,654
- Wow, you went out with her?
- Yep.
32
00:01:40,832 --> 00:01:42,960
Why would you stop?
33
00:01:43,299 --> 00:01:45,546
I don't remember.
I probably got bored.
34
00:01:45,724 --> 00:01:47,555
Bored? How do you
get bored with that?
35
00:01:47,773 --> 00:01:50,817
For every beautiful woman,
there's at least one guy out there...
36
00:01:50,992 --> 00:01:54,786
...who's tired of pretending to listen
to her in exchange for sex.
37
00:01:55,132 --> 00:01:58,343
Well, let me go on record as saying,
I am not that guy.
38
00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,521
If I ever had a woman like that,
I would cherish her.
39
00:02:01,696 --> 00:02:03,194
I would worship her. I would...
40
00:02:03,368 --> 00:02:07,210
...start a small country and put her
face on a stamp so I could lick her head.
41
00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,723
- Why don't you go talk to her.
- Yeah, right.
42
00:02:10,895 --> 00:02:14,153
Gorgeous women like that are
not interested in pasty guys like me...
43
00:02:14,323 --> 00:02:16,535
...unless we're in line
for the British throne.
44
00:02:17,166 --> 00:02:20,674
- So you give up without even trying?
- Yep. That's my motto.
45
00:02:20,888 --> 00:02:24,479
Why waste time on 10s when you're
already getting rejected by sixes?
46
00:02:25,069 --> 00:02:29,207
Alan, listen to me. You are a smart,
sensitive, good-Iooking man...
47
00:02:29,375 --> 00:02:31,873
...with some milky discharge
coming out of one eye...
48
00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:33,799
...but who amongst us is perfect?
49
00:02:34,016 --> 00:02:36,264
That's the other thing.
Look at me. I'm a mess.
50
00:02:36,483 --> 00:02:40,027
So? Women like Sherri have big,
hunky guys hitting on them all day long.
51
00:02:40,205 --> 00:02:43,582
A guy like you walks up, makes a move,
you know what that says to her?
52
00:02:44,260 --> 00:02:45,639
Trick or treat?
53
00:02:47,396 --> 00:02:50,607
It says, "I'm confident in who I am."
54
00:02:50,825 --> 00:02:52,906
- You think?
- I know.
55
00:02:53,083 --> 00:02:56,424
So, what if she's not interested.
What's the worst that could happen?
56
00:02:56,595 --> 00:03:00,055
Actually, the worst that could happen
is she points at me...
57
00:03:00,232 --> 00:03:03,692
...and laughs, causing every
seventh grader in the cafeteria to turn...
58
00:03:03,870 --> 00:03:06,082
...and watch me slink back
to the geek table...
59
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:08,750
...with a growing wet spot
on the front of my chinos.
60
00:03:09,306 --> 00:03:10,934
We ninth graders enjoyed it also.
61
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:15,700
But you're not in junior high anymore,
and you're not a...
62
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,745
You're not in junior high anymore.
63
00:03:18,922 --> 00:03:21,419
- It's time to let go of those fears.
- I don't know.
64
00:03:21,598 --> 00:03:22,882
Oh, come on, Alan.
65
00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:26,778
For once in your life, don't settle.
Go for what you really want.
66
00:03:30,379 --> 00:03:33,506
You know what? You're right.
I'm gonna go talk to her.
67
00:03:34,016 --> 00:03:35,514
Hold on.
68
00:03:35,689 --> 00:03:37,436
Let's clean some of that discharge.
69
00:03:38,281 --> 00:03:40,993
You wanna say "I'm confident,"
not "I'm infectious."
70
00:03:43,006 --> 00:03:44,385
There. Go get her.
71
00:03:48,985 --> 00:03:53,289
Hey, you see that guy over there?
Twenty bucks says he wets himself.
72
00:04:13,612 --> 00:04:15,943
- Hello.
- Hi.
73
00:04:16,121 --> 00:04:18,249
- Alan?
- I remember.
74
00:04:18,964 --> 00:04:21,640
Look, I needed to come clean
about something.
75
00:04:22,811 --> 00:04:26,069
I wasn't actually in a bar fight.
76
00:04:26,323 --> 00:04:29,331
I took a piece of whole-wheat toast
to the eye.
77
00:04:29,919 --> 00:04:32,594
I mean, it was cut diagonally
and toasted well...
78
00:04:32,762 --> 00:04:34,676
...so it was essentially shrapnel.
79
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:39,025
Did some real damage.
80
00:04:39,243 --> 00:04:42,917
I see. And why do you feel the need
to tell me all this?
81
00:04:43,131 --> 00:04:46,473
Well, I guess I didn't want
our relationship to start on a lie.
82
00:04:46,685 --> 00:04:48,433
Our relationship?
83
00:04:49,194 --> 00:04:51,156
- I'll go now.
- No, no, wait.
84
00:04:51,326 --> 00:04:52,740
Sit down. Join me.
85
00:04:54,587 --> 00:04:55,919
Okay.
86
00:05:28,748 --> 00:05:31,292
- That's it. I'm out.
- Oh, come on.
87
00:05:32,009 --> 00:05:33,341
No, no, no. No more.
88
00:05:33,556 --> 00:05:35,220
You got a date. Leave it alone.
89
00:05:35,437 --> 00:05:37,566
Not just a date. A date with...
90
00:05:42,295 --> 00:05:43,959
Enough.
91
00:05:44,134 --> 00:05:46,810
- I'd think you'd be happy for me.
- I am happy for you.
92
00:05:46,978 --> 00:05:48,642
You had the courage to walk over...
93
00:05:48,817 --> 00:05:51,493
...with your pus-filled eye
and fall on your ass...
94
00:05:51,660 --> 00:05:56,000
...and still got a date with one of
the most beautiful women I've ever met.
95
00:05:56,176 --> 00:05:58,720
- I'm not only happy for you, I'm proud.
- Thank you.
96
00:05:58,936 --> 00:06:01,647
Now, I have to re-evaluate
everything I thought I knew...
97
00:06:01,821 --> 00:06:05,281
...about men, women, relationships,
God and the universe.
98
00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:08,465
But that's not your problem.
99
00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:11,763
Charlie, I am as surprised as you
that she said yes.
100
00:06:12,524 --> 00:06:14,022
I don't think so.
101
00:06:14,699 --> 00:06:18,956
I was really intimidated, but as it turns
out, she's just like a regular person...
102
00:06:19,131 --> 00:06:22,889
...except for, you know,
being from the planet:
103
00:06:24,692 --> 00:06:27,368
Alan, never do that around me again.
104
00:06:28,246 --> 00:06:31,706
You know, actually,
we have a lot in common.
105
00:06:31,967 --> 00:06:33,929
Okay. I'll bite.
106
00:06:34,141 --> 00:06:36,222
Well, we both went through
tough divorces.
107
00:06:36,441 --> 00:06:38,653
- Sherri was married?
- You didn't know that?
108
00:06:38,824 --> 00:06:41,452
- It never came up.
- What did come up?
109
00:06:41,625 --> 00:06:43,123
Never mind. Scratch that.
110
00:06:43,841 --> 00:06:45,423
Where should
I take her to dinner?
111
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:48,137
Where did you go
so I can take her somewhere else?
112
00:06:48,357 --> 00:06:51,485
Last thing you want is for her
to start comparing you to me.
113
00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:53,700
Exactly.
114
00:06:53,876 --> 00:06:55,921
Wait.
115
00:06:56,092 --> 00:06:57,424
What do you mean?
116
00:06:58,183 --> 00:07:00,395
You want your relationship
to stand on its own.
117
00:07:00,608 --> 00:07:03,070
- Right.
- Well, that's what I meant.
118
00:07:03,284 --> 00:07:07,708
Okay. I thought you were trying to rub
my nose in the fact that you dated her.
119
00:07:08,343 --> 00:07:10,388
Alan, I would never do that.
120
00:07:10,601 --> 00:07:12,182
Well, thank you.
121
00:07:13,068 --> 00:07:15,196
I don't have to.
122
00:07:18,963 --> 00:07:21,460
You think you could kill a guy
with a piece of toast?
123
00:07:21,639 --> 00:07:22,923
No.
124
00:07:23,144 --> 00:07:25,392
Because if you did,
you could eat the toast.
125
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:28,578
The police would never find the
weapon. It's the perfect crime.
126
00:07:28,789 --> 00:07:31,833
And part of a nutritious breakfast.
127
00:07:32,050 --> 00:07:35,178
Okay, guys, I guess I'll see you later.
128
00:07:35,353 --> 00:07:36,935
Where you going?
129
00:07:37,110 --> 00:07:38,607
- Out for dinner.
- With who?
130
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:44,258
Jake, look, I think...
131
00:07:44,427 --> 00:07:47,554
I think you're old enough to know
that your dad's not just a dad.
132
00:07:47,772 --> 00:07:50,316
He's also a man and that...
133
00:07:50,531 --> 00:07:52,695
...even though I'm not married
to your mom...
134
00:07:52,914 --> 00:07:55,839
...I still enjoy the company of women...
135
00:07:56,008 --> 00:07:59,552
...which means that I will
occasionally go out with one.
136
00:07:59,772 --> 00:08:02,696
But the important thing
for you to understand...
137
00:08:02,907 --> 00:08:05,785
...is that I am not trying to
replace your mother.
138
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,636
In fact, no one
can replace your mother.
139
00:08:10,308 --> 00:08:13,732
I bet you could kill a guy
with a piece of bacon.
140
00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,325
All right, then.
I'm glad we had this talk.
141
00:08:18,963 --> 00:08:22,055
I'm gonna go post my plan
on the Internet.
142
00:08:24,148 --> 00:08:26,062
You know, there's moments
around here...
143
00:08:26,238 --> 00:08:28,950
...that make me wish
I had a son of my own.
144
00:08:29,123 --> 00:08:30,669
That wasn't one of them.
145
00:08:31,799 --> 00:08:35,343
Yeah, well. Anyway, I really
appreciate you watching him tonight.
146
00:08:35,521 --> 00:08:36,804
No problem.
147
00:08:39,116 --> 00:08:41,958
- How you getting to the restaurant?
- Sherri's picking me up.
148
00:08:42,838 --> 00:08:44,585
- Very convenient.
- Why?
149
00:08:44,761 --> 00:08:47,174
Because she's been here before?
Been here with you?
150
00:08:47,353 --> 00:08:50,564
Because you've had sex with her
in every room in the house?
151
00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:52,286
No, because you can't drive.
152
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:56,128
But it's interesting to see
how your mind works.
153
00:08:59,395 --> 00:09:02,653
Alan, let me give you some advice.
154
00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:07,964
Alcohol impairs your ability
to make good decisions.
155
00:09:08,134 --> 00:09:11,308
We don't want you to lose that ability.
We want her to.
156
00:09:13,067 --> 00:09:15,529
Of course. Very good.
157
00:09:15,702 --> 00:09:17,033
What else?
158
00:09:17,249 --> 00:09:20,673
Well, women like Sherri already know
they're beautiful and desirable.
159
00:09:20,844 --> 00:09:23,769
- You won't score points by telling her.
- Okay.
160
00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:25,770
Don't be in a hurry
to spill your guts.
161
00:09:25,987 --> 00:09:27,651
She doesn't need your life story...
162
00:09:27,827 --> 00:09:29,705
...before you get the salad.
- Got it.
163
00:09:29,918 --> 00:09:33,259
As someone who knows your life story,
I'd say she doesn't need to hear it at all.
164
00:09:34,350 --> 00:09:37,643
Right, right.
I'll be cool, aloof, distant.
165
00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:41,123
She's here, she's here, she's here!
166
00:09:44,719 --> 00:09:46,966
What about the... What... What...
167
00:09:48,691 --> 00:09:50,153
What about the kiss goodnight?
168
00:09:50,322 --> 00:09:52,534
- Should I ask or just go for it?
- Go for it.
169
00:09:52,705 --> 00:09:55,285
Don't wait until the last minute.
It creates pressure.
170
00:09:55,465 --> 00:09:57,427
- Get it out of the way early.
- How early?
171
00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,636
After dinner,
when you walk to the car...
172
00:09:59,813 --> 00:10:02,310
...open her door, wait for her
to say thank you...
173
00:10:02,489 --> 00:10:04,820
...smile, lean in, and kiss her.
174
00:10:05,165 --> 00:10:07,162
Oh, nice.
175
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:16,153
Hi, Alan. You ready?
176
00:10:16,538 --> 00:10:20,247
You're the most beautiful woman
I've ever seen, and I don't deserve you.
177
00:10:22,726 --> 00:10:25,187
That's another way to go.
178
00:10:29,457 --> 00:10:31,705
- Madam.
- Thank you.
179
00:10:34,558 --> 00:10:37,186
- Sir.
- Oh, thank you.
180
00:10:41,457 --> 00:10:43,121
- Would you like the wine list?
- No.
181
00:10:43,297 --> 00:10:46,305
I'll have the Woodbridge Pinot Noir.
Or should we get a bottle?
182
00:10:46,977 --> 00:10:48,890
Oh, definitely get a bottle.
183
00:10:49,402 --> 00:10:51,399
Coffee for me.
184
00:10:55,046 --> 00:10:58,424
You know, Sherri, I'd really like
to see more of you.
185
00:10:58,642 --> 00:11:00,936
Maybe we should wait
and see how tonight goes.
186
00:11:01,151 --> 00:11:04,325
No, I mean, I've only got one good eye.
Could we change places?
187
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:07,002
Oh, sure.
188
00:11:18,252 --> 00:11:21,176
- Are you okay?
- Oh, yes, yes. Fine.
189
00:11:21,388 --> 00:11:23,266
- This is a nice place.
- Yeah.
190
00:11:23,478 --> 00:11:24,762
It's my favorite.
191
00:11:25,527 --> 00:11:27,323
You ever come here with Charlie?
192
00:11:28,245 --> 00:11:29,826
I don't know. Probably.
193
00:11:31,297 --> 00:11:32,878
He's a big steak-eater.
194
00:11:34,266 --> 00:11:38,737
I'm more of a fish guy.
You know, I'm surf, he's turf.
195
00:11:40,496 --> 00:11:42,659
And we're cops.
196
00:11:44,426 --> 00:11:47,054
- You're very cute.
- You too.
197
00:11:48,649 --> 00:11:50,943
All right.
So tell me about yourself.
198
00:11:51,534 --> 00:11:54,412
Well, there's not a lot to tell.
199
00:11:54,586 --> 00:11:57,083
I was San Fernando Valley
Chiropractor of the Year...
200
00:11:57,262 --> 00:11:58,974
...if you follow that kind of thing.
201
00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:00,648
Recently divorced.
202
00:12:00,858 --> 00:12:05,080
But not too recently. I've already had
my rebound, transitional relationships.
203
00:12:05,248 --> 00:12:07,329
- So no worries there.
- Good to know.
204
00:12:07,548 --> 00:12:09,795
Actually, it wasn't so much
a relationship...
205
00:12:09,973 --> 00:12:14,527
...as a case of mistaken identity,
but I think it still counts.
206
00:12:15,074 --> 00:12:16,905
- Okay.
- And...
207
00:12:17,123 --> 00:12:20,334
...as you know, I live with Charlie...
208
00:12:20,509 --> 00:12:22,388
...whom you've already...
209
00:12:23,311 --> 00:12:25,474
- Met?
- Yeah, let's go with met.
210
00:12:26,781 --> 00:12:29,659
Alan, is my having dated Charlie
gonna be a problem for you?
211
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:34,549
No, no, no. A little.
212
00:12:35,311 --> 00:12:38,022
Okay, look. Charlie and l...
213
00:12:38,196 --> 00:12:41,489
We had a very brief,
superficial relationship.
214
00:12:41,666 --> 00:12:43,997
Okay? And to be honest,
it was mostly about sex.
215
00:12:44,844 --> 00:12:46,258
Great.
216
00:12:47,185 --> 00:12:51,062
My point is, yeah, I'm tired of those,
those shallow relationships...
217
00:12:51,241 --> 00:12:53,322
...I was having with guys like Charlie.
218
00:12:53,499 --> 00:12:57,257
I wanna be with a man who can be
sensitive and caring, nurturing.
219
00:12:57,429 --> 00:13:01,139
You know, somebody who can
make me laugh, make me think.
220
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:05,279
You do realize I'm straight, right?
221
00:13:06,837 --> 00:13:10,011
- See, you really are adorable.
- Thank you.
222
00:13:10,182 --> 00:13:12,679
I tend to bring out
the mothering instinct in women.
223
00:13:12,899 --> 00:13:15,575
- Oh, really?
- Ironically, not my mother.
224
00:13:42,837 --> 00:13:44,168
What the hell are you doing?
225
00:13:44,384 --> 00:13:47,261
Check it out. Ninja death toast.
226
00:13:49,526 --> 00:13:51,239
Okay, stop it, stop it.
227
00:13:51,450 --> 00:13:53,781
You're in no position
to give orders, Mr. Harper.
228
00:13:57,763 --> 00:14:00,308
- Morning.
- Morning.
229
00:14:00,481 --> 00:14:04,405
- Death toast?
- Oh, thank you.
230
00:14:06,042 --> 00:14:09,752
- So how did it go last night?
- Fine.
231
00:14:09,972 --> 00:14:11,304
That's it? Fine?
232
00:14:11,519 --> 00:14:15,194
Charlie, we're not in high school
anymore. I'm not gonna go into detail.
233
00:14:15,408 --> 00:14:18,868
- Okay, don't tell me.
- Jake, go watch TV.
234
00:14:20,718 --> 00:14:23,560
- I'm still hungry.
- There's bread all over the living room.
235
00:14:24,147 --> 00:14:25,478
All right.
236
00:14:26,655 --> 00:14:28,034
- Well?
- It went great.
237
00:14:28,202 --> 00:14:31,544
She said I'm adorable. She thinks I'm
nurturing, caring and sensitive.
238
00:14:31,714 --> 00:14:35,472
- I'm exactly what she's looking for.
- She's looking for a half-blind sheepdog?
239
00:14:36,356 --> 00:14:38,935
She invited me to her house
for dinner tonight.
240
00:14:39,115 --> 00:14:42,409
- I think she wants to have sex.
- With who?
241
00:14:42,627 --> 00:14:45,207
- With me.
- With you.
242
00:14:45,387 --> 00:14:46,552
Hang on a second.
243
00:14:50,739 --> 00:14:53,415
Nope. No snowballs reported in hell.
244
00:14:55,171 --> 00:14:57,465
No sightings of flying pigs.
245
00:14:57,972 --> 00:15:00,220
- What am I gonna do?
- You don't know?
246
00:15:00,397 --> 00:15:02,526
Come on, Alan,
you were married for 12 years.
247
00:15:02,739 --> 00:15:05,152
What does marriage
have to do with sex?
248
00:15:05,331 --> 00:15:08,043
Point taken.
Okay, you want some tips?
249
00:15:08,258 --> 00:15:10,886
No, no, nothing like that.
250
00:15:11,686 --> 00:15:13,898
I need step-by-step instructions.
251
00:15:14,404 --> 00:15:17,532
All right. Since this is your
first bout in this weight class...
252
00:15:17,707 --> 00:15:19,503
...I'd say stick with the basics.
253
00:15:19,714 --> 00:15:23,341
Better to do the simple stuff well
than the fancy stuff badly.
254
00:15:23,519 --> 00:15:26,016
Got it.
And the simple stuff would be...
255
00:15:26,822 --> 00:15:29,866
Well, you know how women
like you to go slow?
256
00:15:30,084 --> 00:15:33,877
Really? My ex-wife put
a premium on brevity.
257
00:15:34,223 --> 00:15:37,434
Her motto was, " Less is more,
and none is perfect."
258
00:15:37,944 --> 00:15:41,036
Well, Sherri's not like that.
You're gonna wanna take your time.
259
00:15:41,247 --> 00:15:44,090
- I can do that.
- But don't loiter either.
260
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:47,724
You don't want her to get bored
and play solitaire on your head.
261
00:15:48,606 --> 00:15:50,687
No loitering. Got it.
262
00:15:53,749 --> 00:15:56,246
- Something else?
- Okay.
263
00:15:56,425 --> 00:15:59,767
When you're with a woman like Sherri,
who's so gosh-darn beautiful...
264
00:15:59,937 --> 00:16:02,517
...that you get excited
just thinking about her...
265
00:16:02,948 --> 00:16:07,752
...how do you keep the sprinklers from
going off while you're still mowing?
266
00:16:10,265 --> 00:16:12,726
Let me make sure I understand.
267
00:16:13,192 --> 00:16:17,996
You wanna keep your toothpaste
in the tube until you're done brushing.
268
00:16:19,338 --> 00:16:21,050
What are you talking about?
269
00:16:21,637 --> 00:16:25,895
- What are you talking about?
- Okay, okay. Let me try again.
270
00:16:26,404 --> 00:16:31,411
I don't wanna frost the cake
while I'm still mixing the batter.
271
00:16:32,174 --> 00:16:34,588
I don't get it.
She must have lost a bet.
272
00:16:34,808 --> 00:16:37,139
- Excuse me?
- Nothing.
273
00:16:37,317 --> 00:16:40,694
All right. Here's what you do.
274
00:16:44,383 --> 00:16:48,057
When you feel like the train
is leaving the station...
275
00:16:48,272 --> 00:16:50,483
You mean, going in the tunnel?
276
00:16:50,697 --> 00:16:52,860
No, no, I mean leaving the station.
277
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:55,958
But you have to leave the station
to get to the tunnel.
278
00:16:57,177 --> 00:16:59,341
Okay, okay.
279
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:00,898
Let's start from the top.
280
00:17:01,066 --> 00:17:03,610
And work our way down, right?
281
00:17:07,003 --> 00:17:10,381
You know what?
Just shut up and listen.
282
00:17:11,143 --> 00:17:14,520
When you're making love,
the way to slow yourself down is...
283
00:17:14,697 --> 00:17:17,075
...to think of something
completely non-sexual.
284
00:17:17,289 --> 00:17:20,583
- Well, what do you think of?
- You.
285
00:17:38,111 --> 00:17:40,787
That was a really great dinner.
286
00:17:41,832 --> 00:17:44,757
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
You ready for dessert?
287
00:17:44,968 --> 00:17:46,966
I've been ready since I was 14.
288
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,066
I'll be back.
Why don't you put some music on.
289
00:17:52,243 --> 00:17:53,908
Okay.
290
00:18:14,989 --> 00:18:17,451
Hey, how about Diana Krall?
291
00:18:17,665 --> 00:18:21,542
Oh, actually, that's your brother's CD.
Do you mind bringing it back to him?
292
00:18:21,930 --> 00:18:22,964
Not at all.
293
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:27,194
I think I have one of his T-shirts.
You might as well take that too.
294
00:18:27,365 --> 00:18:29,446
No problem.
295
00:18:29,665 --> 00:18:31,746
Hey, this is a cool, little CD player.
296
00:18:31,965 --> 00:18:35,306
Oh, thanks. It was a gift from your...
It was a gift.
297
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:37,812
Perfect.
298
00:18:38,027 --> 00:18:41,071
Is there anything else
Charlie left behind?
299
00:18:43,505 --> 00:18:45,051
Just me.
300
00:18:49,609 --> 00:18:51,071
My brother's a fool.
301
00:18:51,282 --> 00:18:53,445
No argument here.
302
00:18:56,006 --> 00:19:00,430
- That is a very effective negligée.
- Thank you.
303
00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:02,687
- Was it a gift?
- No.
304
00:19:02,863 --> 00:19:06,122
- As a matter of fact, I bought it myself.
- Oh, good.
305
00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:10,463
- How long ago?
- What?
306
00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:12,977
Well, I was just wondering
if Charlie saw it.
307
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:15,698
Alan, don't go there.
308
00:19:16,327 --> 00:19:19,252
Oh, I wasn't going anywhere.
It's just that...
309
00:19:20,466 --> 00:19:23,844
- Nothing. More kissing.
- Okay, okay.
310
00:19:24,313 --> 00:19:27,440
What exactly is bothering you?
311
00:19:28,076 --> 00:19:31,037
Well, it's kind of hard to explain.
312
00:19:31,588 --> 00:19:35,180
For example, once,
when Charlie and I were at camp...
313
00:19:35,351 --> 00:19:39,025
...I lost my swim trunks, and I had
to wear an old pair of Charlie's, and...
314
00:19:39,198 --> 00:19:41,742
...I just couldn't enjoy
the pool at all.
315
00:19:43,755 --> 00:19:46,883
So, what are you saying?
I'm a pair of used swim trunks?
316
00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:51,060
No, no. In this case,
I think you would be the pool.
317
00:19:52,494 --> 00:19:53,908
Maybe this was a bad idea.
318
00:19:54,083 --> 00:19:56,414
No, no, it's a great idea.
It's right up there...
319
00:19:56,591 --> 00:20:00,099
...with the wheel, fire and refrigerators
that give ice through the door.
320
00:20:00,313 --> 00:20:02,893
- Sorry. I don't wanna do this anymore.
- What? Why?
321
00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:07,122
You can't be with me without it being
some competition with your brother.
322
00:20:07,337 --> 00:20:09,133
It's not a competition.
323
00:20:09,302 --> 00:20:13,060
And even it was, shouldn't we do it
first before you decide who wins?
324
00:20:13,818 --> 00:20:15,150
You are unbelievable.
325
00:20:15,365 --> 00:20:18,576
- That could be taken a couple of ways.
- Get out.
326
00:20:18,752 --> 00:20:21,629
Well, no ambiguity there.
327
00:20:22,557 --> 00:20:24,638
Don't forget your brother's CD.
328
00:20:25,107 --> 00:20:27,069
My eye!
329
00:20:33,595 --> 00:20:35,842
Man, I love sunsets.
330
00:20:36,020 --> 00:20:40,324
The way the sky is streaked with color.
It's amazing.
331
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:48,853
It's the pollution that makes
those pretty colors, you know.
332
00:20:49,065 --> 00:20:54,369
What you're enjoying is the effect
of light passing through airborne poison.
333
00:20:57,009 --> 00:21:01,349
No, that's not
what I'm really enjoying.
334
00:21:05,539 --> 00:21:07,335
Boy, I hope that's guacamole.
26959
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.